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Guy Blames His Ex For Not Taking Care Of Their Child, Gets Destroyed With Words
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Guy Blames His Ex For Not Taking Care Of Their Child, Gets Destroyed With Words

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Parenting can definitely be a challenge, but some people find it more difficult than the other, especially when the child is still just a mere baby. From changing diapers to many sleepless nights, the trials and tribulations of being a parent can truly take a toll on any person. And that becomes even harder when you’re a single parent. Tired of raising his 18-month-old son, one single dad decided to share his troubles with Reddit, seeking legal advice on making the mother of his son take care of the child. He explained the situation, focusing on his ex-girlfriend and the choices they both made, passing judgment and calling the woman a “deadbeat mom”. Although he asked for legal advice, the man got more than he bargained for. Scroll down below to read the full story and don’t forget to tell us what you think! (Facebook cover image: julie corsi)

Parenting can definitely be a challenge, but some people find it more difficult than the other

Image credits: tmldahl (not the actual photo)

One guy posted on Reddit, seeking legal advice for his parenting situation

People responded, although not as the original poster expected and they had a short back-and-forth

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However, one person had the best reply to the poster’s message

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markfuller avatar
Mark Fuller
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a bloke, so saying this hopefully demonstrates I'm not a misogynistic sod. But isn't this the dire situation men have been leaving women in for centuries, as they walk away and quite literally leave her holding the baby, preferring to absolve themselves of any responsibility? Sounds like she had the brains to think this one through... while he did not. My only sympathy lies with the kid.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And she pays 125% of court ordered child support, much more than she needs to. There are many absent fathers doing their best to avoid paying any child support to single mothers, sometimes even despite court orders. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, I'm not sure the court would have ordered him to pay any child support at all or at least not as much because they weren't even engaged and she (if the roles were reversed he) doesn't have visitation or any other rights concerning the child. He seems very immature; he needs to learn he can't force her (or anyone) to care and change her life according to his wishes. He should be happy she didn't sue him for coerced birth, manipulation and harassment and that she agreed to pay any child support at all and very grateful she gave him the child he allegedly so much wanted and didn't get an abortion despite his wishes or give it up to someone else for adoption.

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mamma2molly avatar
MammaG
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you ever heard a man say he has to "babysit" his own kids? I have. Many, many times. I've NEVER heard a woman say it. This is the mentality we're dealing with.

rotupmoc avatar
Bud Waters
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her half of the seed is developed and stays in her body. It does not matter what she let you do it was your responsibility to add or not add your half to what was already there. You are directly responsible for bringing that child to life. If you don't want to be a daddy do not ejaculate in women.

au-coin-de-la-page avatar
Linouchka 99
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She didn't want the child. He wanted it. She was nice enough to give it to him AND pay for it more than she had to. Now he has it. Welcome to the beautiful world of single parenting ! Deal with it. Period.

sagejayy03 avatar
Sage Jay
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate how some men act like because they're dating someone, they get to have control over their bodies. "She wanted to have an abortion but I didn't..." Well that sucks for you, mate. Bodily autonomy is a thing. Sadly, sexist a******s exist.

sagejayy03 avatar
Sage Jay
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fetuses are not babies. Until a certain point when their brain develops enough to *almost* feel pain, they are not technically alive/they are brain dead. Even if the fetus is fully developed, it still has no right over the pregnant person. Using the pregnant person's body for nutrients is a matter of whether the person wants it to be there. Once they withdraw consent for the fetus to be in their body, they have the right to remove it. For example, if your sister is dying and the only person who can give her a blood transfusion is you, you still have the right to say no. It's ridiculous; even after you're dead people can't use your organs without consent when you were alive, even if the organs would save someone. Anti-choice people are saying that a pregnant person deserves less rights than a dead body.

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nicoletamarinam avatar
Marina
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes... It's breaking my heart to see how awful those humans are. These kind of situation are why I'm not against abortions... Sometimes being alive is not worth it, expecially when your parents don't want you - that thing scars deep and the wound stays there forever

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fire8832 avatar
Bryan Elliott
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me this sounds like one of those people who fall in love with the idea of something without thinking about the realities. Like a kid who wants a puppy but then gets to find out that raising and training a living thing is actual work and just attempts to foist the responsibilities of other people all while trying to make sure they can still get all of the benefits of the situation.

thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's more likely he wanted to tie her down to him with the child. It's a common abuse tactic, as most women would not give up their children.

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luisa_vasconcelos avatar
Luisa Vasconcelos
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had exactly the same thought. How many women are in this "single parent " situation? At least he can count with her money and with help of his family and he can still work. Many women can't do that and don't have that. It's supposed we fill sorry because he is a men , but if would be a woman telling this story everything would be so different. He is crying hungry with his belly full.

jpwoodman1980 avatar
JP
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love that expression. "He is crying hungry with his belly full." I've never heard that one before, but, believe me, I will be using it. :)

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onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YOU CHOSE to bully her into having a child she didn't want. She did NOT have to do that. YOU said you'd raise the child YOU CHOSE to keep. YOU had no legal standing to stop her getting an abortion, and YOU had no legal standing to stop her giving up YOUR son for adoption. ...///... SHE is paying support and YOU made that deal. Suck it up, sunshine. This is YOUR SON. You need your a*s kicked around the block, you sick little puppy.

nikkid avatar
Nikki D
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My heart bleeds for this poor child. Even worse, when he is older he very well might find his dad's post.

dawnstowe41 avatar
DawnMarie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is such a good point. The thought never even crossed my mind. That poor kid!!

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anotherlittlething avatar
Jill Pulcifer
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not a deadbeat parent, ask my three girls what a deadbeat parent is and they will tell you about the father that walked away from them 7 years ago and pays nothing.

jilldsumner avatar
Jilltdcatlady
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As the saying goes " if it happened to men they would make changes immediately" So here is the result of legislation giving the father ability to force birth. Suddenly it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Oh, wait women have to deal with this all the time. But somehow women get labeled as having babies to get welfare,or "work the system", or (like this guy) having false hope that Love will keep them together.

onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He had NO right to "force" her to do anything. She CHOSE to carry to term and give the baby up to him as long as that was the end of her involvement. In the long run, it would have been smarter to her to either have an abortion (which is what I would have done) or give the baby up for adoption to strangers.

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wondergirl-il2010 avatar
Kathleen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's all been said. However, he is very young and very immature. He hopefully learned a hard lesson that you cant make anyone do anything, you cant control what anyone else says or does no matter how much you wish for it. And, he made this bed and he needs to keep making it every day. I hope the little boy finds good people in his life and in meantime has some caring mentors.

hayleylightcap avatar
Hayley Lightcap
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The s****y thing is he clearly didn't learn. He's just pushing the blame on her for not feeling maternal like he hoped.

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isogsargent avatar
Isog Sargent
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really think this guy doesn't understand that it was all his choices.

asaabsfables avatar
Amy Begun Saab
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last one is 100% correct. He wanted to keep her, own her, and use her

donflynn avatar
Don Flynn
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Resentful.... wtf??? She pays support so she isn't a deadbeat... quit being a petty pr!@k and give your son all and more than you can give. She did not a child and by his own admission he wanted to see this through. I apologize but this whiney beep beep needs to get his head out of his a**e and be a dad.

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He doesn't know how lucky he is to get 125% of court mandated support and zero interference from the other parent. I guarantee there are thousands of single parents, male and female, who would give anything for those circumstances.

chuckd784 avatar
Charles Moore
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look you wanted the child man up and be a great dad or find a great family to adopt to.

hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This feels like a set up. Could anyone really be so ignorant as to what single moms have been going through for decades? Could anyone be less justified in demanding involvement when the "mother" made her intentions clear and gives financial support? Perhaps, but it seems ridiculous.

angiechan_1 avatar
Angie Chan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, they are out there. I have encountered many males who think that "magical fairy motherhood bonding" will make me suddenly want a child if I had to carry one to term, despite the fact I have never wanted one and been VERY clear on it. I have to resist the urge to slap the stupid out of guys who want to argue that I don't know what I want.

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navymanstg21984 avatar
Matthew MacBride
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My children's Mother left when they were 7 and 8. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself I had two little girls to worry about. I felt guilty that they only had one parent around and sometimes wondered if I was enough but I never thought of them as a burden. I did the best I could was always available to talk about anything and unfortunately that meant anything and everything no matter how uncomfortable it was, but they needed someone and Being their Dad I was that person. Well that was over 20 years ago and now they are both grown up and on their own with their careers and I think I did Okay, But it Truly was the only choice

wil_vanderheijden avatar
Wil Vanderheijden
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since poster "rand0mip"said it all, further comments are superfluous. The "father" was, is and will be a self-centered jerk.

idrow avatar
Id row
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the roles were reversed, we'd be praising the dad for paying 125% of the child support while simply expecting the mother to raise the child. Now that the roles are reversed, this guy has the nerve, the audacity to say being a single parent sucks and is nothing but hard work. Welcome to what women have had top put up with since the dawn of time and a lot of that time, there was no child support. This guy better man the hell up or find adoptive parents for this child.

westofthepecossales avatar
Paula Swanson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would you want to force your child onto a person who doesn't want anything to do with them. How could you trust that she would give proper care. Can handle them emotionally? Won't hurt the child? She is not a dead beat...just not a mom. You are doing what millions of single moms do....but with financial support. Hire a sitter once a week for a day off. One day...it helps, trust me.

kanna172014 avatar
Kiki
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What did you expect? You didn't want her to get an abortion so suck it up and act like a man. Or give the kid up for adoption.

nesakysiukurtaueiti avatar
MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, i totally understand her. Nobody should ever be forced to raise kid they don't want and since dude is the one who wanted kid, he has no moral ground to expect her to raise kid. It's not ideal situation, sure, but well, he chose it.

dippydocus_facepainting avatar
Nicola Marie Jackson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At a restaurant: Waiter: What can I get you? Him: We will both have the steak. Her: I'm a vegan. Can I have a salad? Him: No. Two steaks. Her: Vegan! Him: Two. Steaks. Waiter brings steaks. Him: Why won't she eat it?!

angiehellyeah avatar
Angie Hellyeah
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh god, what a horrible person this dude is. You realize that it was NICE of her to even give birth to the child?! She could have had an abortion without his consent, because it’s her body, this is extremely nice of her actually! Now she pays more support THAN THE COURT HAS ORDERED, omg this woman is a saint if you ask me. She made it clear she doesn’t want children and we don’t live in the 18th century so WAKE UP. You seem like some kind of closeted sexist who thinks every woman HAS to ant children and their main responsibility in life is to take care of kids. Wtf?! Just get a nanny, for god‘s sake. Or even better give that poor child up for adoption, before you’re gonna nag him with stories about his „horrible mother“ 24/7 and raise a misogynist or even worse, an incel or something. You are the worst.

lindamatheny avatar
Linda Matheny
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG, welcome to every single mother out there where the man jumped ship and she is left holding the "Bag." Mothers do this day in and day out, go to college, go to work, miss work to stay at home with sick children, get home, fix meals, run the kids to after school events and are totally exhausted! Grow up and quit whining.

alex_scott_newell avatar
Alex Newell
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that." "I honestly thought she would bond during the pregnancy and would eventually change her mind." Sounds like just another case of a man thinking no means maybe

johnfranquiz avatar
John Franquiz
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, it’s so obvious. She is fulfilling her court mandated obligations and paying more. The court can’t force her to visit her kid. So what do you want? A break? Hire a nanny with the extra 25 percent she is giving you. You “expected” her to ding the “magic” ? I’m a parent and needed those breaks too but I could never see myself saying I “resent” my son. I actually have a friend whose ex wife had a mental breakdown and he had to raise both his kids on his own. For years he never even dated. The kids grew and he has some breathing room now. So it goes. Your son needs you. Buckle up and be there for him. You have the right to be tired. You don’t have the right to resent an innocent child who depends on you alone

tdld74 avatar
Tanya Dalton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She’s not a dead beat mom, she paying you to a raise a kid she didn’t want to keep. I don’t think she should even pay child support. She warned you and you took on the responsibility of more or less A green to adopt a child from a mother that didn’t want one

mbgrzy avatar
Michele Grzywacz
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Selfish git, she told you at the outset she did not want the baby and she did not want to be a mom. You are a bully because you thought you could force her to do something she told you she wouldn't. You are the person who demanded the responsibility for your child and now you want to change the terms. Oh well, if you can't love this child the way he should be loved then you should give him up for adoption immediately instead of using him as cudgel against his mother.

annaannabb avatar
AnnaB
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, I'm sure this is just a fabricated attempt to make people realize what so many women go through as single parents. However, if they wanted to make it more realistic, they should have cut the support money down from 125% to 0% - which is how much the majority of dead beat fathers are paying.

erinsheppard avatar
Erin Sheppard
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sound like he needs a break, nothing more nothing less. We're all worn and tired and frustrated, but thats what we do, as parents.

carmenelena avatar
Carmen Elena
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a parent is not easy at all: is frustrating, exhausting, stressful, and a huge etc. This guy wanted to be one and now that he is he found out it´s not funny and even worse: tries to get the ex involved. Well, I´m a single parent, welcome to our world my friend. Your baby is not a toy you can forget just for a while bc you are tired. As they said: Be a man and assume the responsability you asked for.

mike1dog avatar
Michael Vickery
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, a throwaway account on Reddit. I totally an sure that happened.

sootyandspock avatar
vogonpoet
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I support the remarks on this. She never wanted the baby to begin with. However, people who DID want the baby/babies and then walk away, without contributing anything (other than severe emotional abuse) are complete tossers. I feel for the kid. I would have been happy, if my ex had walked away when my babies were young, even without monetary support (which, he doesn't provide), because it would have meant my girls would have been without the emotional abuse that ensued over the years, before he walked away from them. Only my youngest girl has avoided the outcome.

vonskippy avatar
Vonskippy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only is the guy a major loser, he's put his genes into the human gene pool. Too stupid to understand birth control, waaaaaay to stupid to not to support the girl when she wanted to get an abortion. The kid is blameless, it's sad he has to deal with you as his father. Time to suck it up little boy and be the man you thought you were when you had sex. Next time, jerk it into a sock like all the other losers do.

lady_bern85 avatar
Bern L
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kinda wonder if this is a social experiment. Such as there is the reverse where a man doesn't want the child but the woman does and has it taking full custody and getting child support, but at the same time will want the man who wanted nothing to do with the parenthood to step in as a father. He could do what is wanted of him as far as providing support but will still be called a deadbeat and blamed for impregnating the woman than choosing not to be a part of their child's life.

lisaj avatar
Lisa J
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it weird they don't date this articles? The reddit thread is 2 years old, but the screen captures show 1 year... Anyways it's a good show of 🅰️✔ trolling.

jasminkatanner avatar
Cat person
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem with my parents is that they both wanted me to themselves because they hated each other. My mum apparently tried to take me to Slovakia with her to get away from my dad but then my dad took her to court and they got shared custody of me but that meant they had to live in the same city

shivwits avatar
Virginia Gould
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll generously assume that much of this guy's angry tone is coming from the exhaustion and frustration of being a single parent. And I will grant that it's admirable for him to be devoted to his kid, and hopefully he will continue to do so. That being said, the mother made her wishes and intentions perfectly clear from the start. This man in no way respected them. For her to pay well more than the court-ordered child support for a child that she made it absolutely clear from the beginning that she didn't want is incredibly generous of her. Hopefully the guy in question will remember all this next time he gets a girl knocked up and expects her to "take one for the team."

ldragonteethl avatar
Della Greymane
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an adoptive mom, I am quite sure there are hundreds of couples who would be more than overjoyed to give this youngster a home. With an open adoption he could even have visitation opportunities with his child after the adoption. So foolish to get himself into this situation, though, so I doubt he is smart enough to see his way out in a manner that benefits the child. Wrap it before you tap it, gentlemen.

sunnyrei82 avatar
sunnyrei82
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is absurd. This guy is so whiny. We ALL know more than 1 single mother, and eventhough it is hard as hell, they stand up, and do the job without crying like a baby. In what world does this guy live? Welcome to the real world of women, pal!

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, tons of single AND married mothers do nothing but b***h whine and nag about being moms and how hard and thankless it is and then pretend it’s the best thing that ever happened to them. They are trashy too but this guy is different because he actively stopped the mother from getting an abortion when she wanted one.

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vdevriese avatar
Val
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what have we learned from all this? HAVE SAFE SEX!

leniwiec2000 avatar
Sloth
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what you learn later in life? Using protection like condoms, pills or other does NOT work 100%. It surely lowers the risk of pregnancy but it's not perfect.

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dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It might have been pointed out already, but doesn't this guy see how self-explanatory the title of his post is..... I just feel sorry for the kid. Hope they will grow up into a strong and nice person. It will be a tough journey.

debbiebourque avatar
Debbie Bourque
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a male friend, he started dating a woman I know. He made it VERY clear he did not want a child. She stopped taking birth control and became pregnant. She tried so hard to make him out to be the bad guy. Spreading all kinds of nasty rumors, etc. I was on his side, he made it very clear he did not want children. He supports the child but has not relationship with him. People should respect/listen to their partners!

leslie-cully avatar
Leslie Cully
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wanted a baby, but he obviously wanted HER to do the parenting. What a whiner.

elizabeth_gardner925 avatar
Elizabeth Gardner
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No he has nothing to b***h about. He got her pregnant ( with help from her also) she did not want it he insisted so be it on his head. Men have done this to women for god knows how long. They always manage with no help from the father. No connection and more often than not no money! That she pays support is more than a lot of blokes in that situation he should be grateful for that. He cannot force her to love a child nor take care of a child she did not want in the first place. He seems to think ALL women are naturally maternal, this is simply not true many are not! He got what he wanted the child he sired. Why should he ask for more? Now he knows how the women of the world feel!

corinnestephan avatar
Corinne Stephan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this guys assumed that all women have motherly instincts. No way can a woman abandon her child...I chose not to have children, I have no motherly instincts so I chose not to take a chance and bring someone into this world and screw them up by not been able to show them the love they deserve ( and I m the one been called selfish) . I get so annoyed when people tell me "you'll see, it' different when it's your own ". I hope this story will show that feelings don't always change because you gave birth ... You got what you wanted mate ! you made your bed now lie in it but for the childs sake either get help or let a couple that desperatly want children adopt him.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well lets see, she wanted to kill him in the womb, yet you're somehow surprised that she didnt bond with him during her pregnancy? Dude is having to deal with the reality most single moms have been dealing with for centuries but WITHOUT 125% of child support. Do I think she's a crappy person? Sure. Do I think she's legally obligated to do more than financially support you and the kid? Nope.

tomhoudek avatar
Tomáš Houdek
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I'm about to become father, I feel so sory for the kid, imagining this kid reading this post, unwanted and denied by mother, refused by father. I just hope that joke-of-a-father will get him adopted as soon as possible to loving family, so the little one will never remember any of it.

benzz74ola avatar
Ben Cazzola
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. Ill have the wee lad. I am also single parent, working full time, making it work and loving it. My 6yo daughter tells me daily how were the best. this needs some balls and brain cells. Poor little boy.

ptoddchesser avatar
Todd Chesser
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why didn't anyone say ANYTHING about this human derelict's failure to use a condom? If he had one scintilla of self responsibility and self respect, he would have thought of that right around the time he wanted to have sex with her. This guy is a moron and complete waste of skin. Poor kid.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I read this guys whiny post about how he got more than he bargained for, I thought "WTF Dude!?! YOU were the one that wanted the kid! You were the one that wanted the responsibility! Now you're trying to shove it off on her because you have what is the equivalent of buyer's remorse? STFU!" I was also thinking that his family isn't helping because they see him as a dumbass. I prefer adoption over abortion, but it should still have been the girls choice, not the guys. If he wanted to be a parent so badly, then he should have done it the right way by finding a girl who he would have a vested relationship with and commit to being with her first before the kids arrived. Until then, he needs to keep his soldiers in check.

annettnyrud avatar
Annett Nyrud
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking, what if the roles were reversed? When this woman wanted an abortion and the guy did not, I thought that the responsibility was all his, and that of course she has the right to want nothing to do with the child. But what if it was a man who wanted the abortion, and a woman who wanted the child? I caught myself thinking that of course he had the responsibility to help and support the woman, since it takes two to tango, and he can not force the woman into have an abortion - he needs to take responsibility for making her pregnant. Many men have been caught in this "trap" having to take care of a child that they did not want. What if the man and the woman have to decide together, and the one who wants to keep it have to sign a contract that he/she understands that there will be no support from the one who wants the pregnancy terminated? At the same time, I strongly feel that it is the woman who should decide if there is an abortion or not (her body).

annettnyrud avatar
Annett Nyrud
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are morally against abortions, that only makes it more important to be careful not to get pregnant/make someone pregnant.

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francheskarippon avatar
Francheska rippon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont even know if you'll see this but i had to comment. As it stands, and without going into the how and the why,you are all this child has. Exhausting as it is, they rely on you and you alone, that's as simple as it gets. Your child needs you and probably worships the ground you walk on. Hopefully that thought will help a little. One question though:why would you want someone,the child's mother or otherwise, who has no interest, to help with the parenting? That doesn't make sense. Your child deserves to have people that love and care.

gvblack avatar
Gillian Black
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

gee whizz think of your son he will grow up resentful knowing that neither of you really wanted him but he was a p**n, best thing you can do is give him to a loving family who want kids to love and nuture honestly you are a sic controlling person . i feel so sorry for the little boy, not you

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you rand0mip, you hit the nail on the head as that is exactly what the situation is. Poor little baby, I hope he goes up for adoption because someone needs to love him.

melayahm avatar
Caroline Driver
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wanted it, he got to keep it, just like who knows how many women who get raped/knocked up every day and are forced to be single parents with absent fathers. Sorry mate, you're just experiencing the other side of the coin first hand. You thought that she'd just change her mind for you, well tough, she acted 'like a man' and left you with the baby. Suck it up and campaign for single parents everywhere. No sympathy for him, only the child, hoping he doesn't f%^& him up too.

vec7ors avatar
iamvectorious
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now replace all of rand0mips rant from male gender to female. How does it sound?

susann_campbell_7 avatar
Susann Campbell
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That poor sweet baby in the hands of a man that doesn't even want him.

bronmargaret avatar
Magpie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am wondering if this is a set up/ fake. The guy spells it out so clearly that he is in the wrong by hassling her.

shaynameidela avatar
Dorothy Parker
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Terribly, terribly sad. The kid didn't know what raising a child entailed, or that the birth mother truly wouldn't want the child. He is engaging in what is called magical thinking; that just because that's what he wanted/expected, it would make it so. I hope he will get smart and consider giving the little boy up for an open adoption, one that he can be sure will take him as their own, rather than relinquishing him to foster care. The birth mother was clear from the start, and the father was/is unable to hear her. He forced her to go through a traumatic experience, but he still isn't done with wanting to force his will on her. He needs some therapy, ASAP.

mdclgyselinck avatar
Michèle Gyselinck
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last one has the best come-back. If this guy wanted a kid so badly that he forced a woman into giving birth to the child, then he's the one responsible for raising it. If he finds that too hard, he can give the boy up for adoption. There are plenty of couples dying to adopt a child. But forcing her to raise the kid when she's paying 125% support? He doesn't have a case. If I were the judge I'd laugh him out of court.

jennyih avatar
Peta Hurley-Hill
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After our 4th child,my husband & I would sometimes split the duties ,taking 2 each.Pretty much every time ,we would hear..."Oh you're babysitting for the wife "(?!)," he's so good to you" etc.One time at a family gathering,he changed our newborn's nappy (while I wrangled the 6,4 and 1 yr olds),did I get a "oh aren't you good with them"..? No,but I was told how "lucky" I was,to "thank him"for "doing my job for me" and how "clever"& "brave" he was,how "Grateful" I should be etc..This wasn't him,he always had the view that we made them together,so we were both responsible for their "upkeep".But others always made me feel he was doing me a favor ! Attitudes like that is what creates "manbabies" like the bloke in the article.The creep only wanted the baby to force the poor girl to be with him.She gave up so much to carry & birth a child,when she didn't want or have to have.Yet he paints her as the bad one...All I can say to him is,be careful what you wish for.

octopusrising avatar
Octopus Rising
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find a lot of these responses really disturbing. Both of these people made a choice to bring a life into this world. She was not forced. That new life should be the primary concern and two involved parents are important. That may not be something legally feasible but morally that kid did nothing wrong and will suffer as a result of their joint irresponsibility.

magdalina777 avatar
Magdalina777
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Assuming the story here is actually real...am I the only one who actually feels sorry for the guy?o.O So much hatred here, that's not how you make the world a nicer place, you know. Imho it sounds like the guy had it for the girl more than she had it for him so he wanted the kid and through it, perhaps a lasting relationship and family with her. But she didn't so now she's out and he's having a very hard time understanding/accepting that, plus is super exhausted and stressed from raising the baby, so he's desperately clinging to straws trying to bring her back. If that's the case, he's made a mistake, but it doesn't quite make him the villain of the year. I just hope he can let it/her go finally, hire a nanny and move on, perhaps to being a great single parent, perhaps even to finding another mom to the kid eventually.

magdalina777 avatar
Magdalina777
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously court forcing the girl to play mother, even if that was legally possible, could only do harm rather than good - not caring for baby now, she'd just hate it then, and she'd definitely hate the guy for forcing her too so who'd that help? It is a stupid idea but to be fair in the context it just kinda sounds really desperate.

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madsjchic avatar
Adrienne Roscoe
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone pointed out that maybe this account was fake and the story was written to outrage people? Doesn’t matter but the story is just toooooo perfectly outrageous.

cg_pitch avatar
Chris Pitch
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can not even think of the words to say over this putrid pile of vile bile.

em_1 avatar
Martina Třešková
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am speechless to this. This guy has some clear brain issues if he doesn't see anything wrong happening from his side. This whole story is so, so wrong. I also don't understand the girl who went through pregnancy just because he wanted so.

nicoletamarinam avatar
Marina
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only burden in that family is you to the future of that child. Start acting like a proper father before he has grown enough to understand your "resentment" and ruin his life. Own your choices and be an effin man! Or find him a better home.

comerfordsamantha46 avatar
Samantha Comerford
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She hit it right on the head , didn’t she. I do hope the child is looked after properly. Maybe you need more time, mane you don’t. But the main issue here, is that child. You need to be honest with yourself. It’s not a toy, you can’t put it back after getting fed up with it. I would seriously consider a lovely family for adoption, give the child what he / she deserves. You will only resent that poor child, and they feel and know that from day one.

mekala-whitaker avatar
Roxy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have so much to say but I will just leave it with this.... WHY IN HELL WILL YOU WANT HER TO HAVE VISITATION? She has already proved and said that she doesn't want anything to do with the baby and she wanted to kill him while she was pregnant!! How will you know that she will be responsible to take care of him if your son is with her!? I wouldnt trust her whatsoever! Stop and think about it....also, if you are having rest issues, need help or whatever, ASK YOUR FRIENDS and continue to let you family know what your going through that you need help. Don't be so desperate to do something to help yourself that won't help your son. Your not the only single parent in this world. People do it all the time. Stop being selfish and think of your son! There are so many people that would trade places with you in a second. Like I said, I have alot to say, but if you choose to change your perspective, it will help you to think clearly to help yourself and your issues and also, your son will love and react to you alot better!

central_capital avatar
Weronika Hajdas
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know many women who lives like this. Many. and i'm sure everyone know at least one. this is not rare. Men leave women with kids all the time and this is accepted. This case is different only because he is a man, a father. I don't know why anybody would feel sorry for him. Single mothers are exhausted all the time too. And it's normal for everybody. They often don't have enough money or time to earn enough money. He gets money from her, more than he should, she was honest with him how it would be... i really don't get it what he want. You are tired? Sorry, but i have a kid too, dad of my son lives with us and loves us, and sometimes i'm really tired. That't how it is. Parenthood. She was honest with him. He chose it that way. Welcome to be a single parent. He's fine anyway. I only feel sorry for this little boy.

eizalopezd avatar
ptm45
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

simple solution: keep your legs closed and your junk in your trunk. end of problem.

atruong74 avatar
SweetMamaP
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To this whiny immature idiot: Did you think that because you were able to bully her into keeping the child, you could also force her to be a parent? If you can't hack it, there are plenty of folks out there who would love the kid and also have the maturity to be a real parent. Stop using the courts to get back at your ex (because that's really what your little pity party is about). You are not going to win. Kids can read resentment in the womb and that poor kid didn't ask for any of this garbage from you.

johncenafanmimi avatar
Erica Rose Wilkinson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How can you resent a baby? It’s not his fault at all...poor little thing.

jennifercoffman avatar
jennifer coffman
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She already did way more than she needed to. The last tweet is correct. Awful, abusive men get women pregnant all the damn time so that they will have a slave for at least 18 or so years. It is a form of domestic abuse. My mother had a good shot at a decent future before she got knocked up by my loser of a pedophile father. I never had a chance at a decent life, and she is 85 years old, still living with the consequences of her decision even though he has been dead for years and years. We have never talked about it, but I know we both wish abortion had been legal and accessible when it happened.

luyendao avatar
Lu
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Couldn't keep it in his pants, and the result is a baby he resents...sounds like two lives are now messed up.

nirity avatar
Nirity
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her motherly instincts kicked enough, she gave birth to a kid she didnt wanted, she is paying too much child support for a kid she didnt want, what more? Usually the guy begs and cries he want a kid then leaves and doesnt help at all. Exactly this happened to me. This guy has already too much help from a responsible forced to be a parent mother. What a douche. Yes, caring for a child is hard, thats what women have told forever for a reason.

darklumiya avatar
DarkLumiya
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an a*****e piece of s**t of a human. Hope he finally made a useful decision once in his life and sign that child off to adoption then castrated himself.

heathervance avatar
AzKahleesi
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(continued) from a child, but men have done it for eons. So how is it any different? That is YOUR baby that YOU helped create. YOU stood up to take care of him (good job) now your only choices are either shut the f**k up and raise your son, or give him up for adoption. Hell I'll take him, what's one more? (oh and everyone freaking out 3 are biological the other five are my adopted step kids whom I love just as much as if they came from my eggs.)

buzzjane avatar
Jane Thorne-Gutierrez
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poor child!! A father in name but is tired of his new " toy" and has no clue how to really embrace this kid and love him. Give him to parents who will adopt and LOVE him. This guy only really loves himself, and needs to re-assess the situation as WHATS BEST FOR THE CHILD, not for him!

wheebyulhwasun avatar
WheeByulHwaSun
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL, this sounds like he was trying to tie her down to him. Almost sounded like he wanted someone to take care of him. I respect the woman for being able to not get manipulated.

sweetangelce04 avatar
Christina Sersif
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have just got the abortion anyway. It's not his decision. It's a matter of I'm telling you because you're the father. The only answer he should have given is, "I support your decision."

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously! I wonder why she would listen to him. Maybe he convinced her it would be like a gift.

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bobbinewell avatar
Bobbi Newell
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So all this happened two years ago, which makes that poor kid around 3 1/2 now. I really hope his situation is better now, either because his father manned up, or did what should he have done in the first place, and put him up for adoption.

irishrdhd1 avatar
Christine Musal
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for the kid. I can only imagine how things will be when he reaches his teens.

dawnbaik avatar
Dawn Baik
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only have 3 words for this sorry excuse of a man - "What a d**k"

ionag avatar
-
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's disgusting that he didn't let her get an abortion and then expected her to take care of a child she didn't want, even though she told him she wouldn't be involved.

alexk_1 avatar
Alex K
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he should let her have an abortion. if a child is not wanted, it's life will be miserable.i feel sad for the kid, for not having a loving mother, and a stupid dad.

nothofagus001-sname avatar
Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is such an a**e-hat and his description of circumstances so bizarre that I can't help but wonder if this is a made-up post...

ingelaambreen avatar
Ingela Ambreen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a disgusting sod. Trying to force a family on someone that doesn't want it. He needs to leave her alone, she pays towards the child. He's facing the reality of many single parents, better even because he gets 125% child support. He's facing a reality he knew was coming and chose to ignore and pretend wouldn't happen. The child is better off with adoption.

marneederider40 avatar
Marnee DeRider
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's one thing for the father to want help, and another to say he "resents" the child. Even if he does (you can't help how you feel), say that out loud only to the most trusted people, NOT ONLINE. Is this guy 17?

rosebona avatar
athornedrose
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so not only did you force this woman to have a child she didn't want and resent her for doing her legal obligation and nothing more (but really, some more, as she pays more than is mandated), but you posted all this on the internet so your kid can some day find out *exactly* how much no one ever wanted them? the only abusive parent is you.

elizabethlordcary avatar
Elizabeth
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wanted the child, she didn't. She still pays child support. I know biological fathers who pressured their women into having kids and now don't pay a penny. She is NOT a deadbeat. You are living with the consequences of your decision and actions. If you need some time off, hire a babysitter! That's what responsible parents do. This post really makes me angry. As a female, as a person who cannot biologically have kids, as a step-mom, as a wife, as a human being who respects the choices of others.

carolinemurphy_1 avatar
Caroline Murphy
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think dads are underrated and there are some very good ones out there. My dad gave up a lot of things to become a single father to me and my sister when the only other given by the courts was for us to go to care (my mum is a nice person and loves us, but wasn't capable) and he's been amazing. My sister-in-law cheated on my brother with his best friend, left him and refuses to give him any access. My brother has fought (and still fighting) for access but the courts are on her side..... On the other hand, there's this guy and my nieces' father who refuses to believe they are his, has never given my sister child support, belittles her, says she is a terrible mother (she's fantastic) and has done the same to other women (at 26 I think he has about 8 kids with 6 different women including my sister)

shewolfalia avatar
Alia G.
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s true there are fathers that do just fine. But that’s not the point of this article. This is talking about a single situation, and I don’t know if your story is entirely relevant.

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leanadecabrera avatar
atl.XVI
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally, I don't like putting abortion out there as an option (that's my belief but I put that on no one else). I think that if you made the baby, deliver it, and what happens after is up to you whether it be putting the child up for adoption or choosing to start parenthood, whatever. However, I don't think it's moral to force someone into one or the other of those two options after birth. This guy is nuts if he thinks the courts will force her to raise this child. Are men forced to raise their children with the mothers they've abandoned? Last time I checked, no. Saying you resent your child is just f****d up. That's how kids get messed up in the head. What a jackass.

shewolfalia avatar
Alia G.
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You’re probably the first person I’ve seen who doesn’t support pro-choice but is willing to call it just their own opinion. I do applaud you for that. If this isn’t to personal, are you a man or a woman, and are you a parent? I’m honestly curious, because most pro-life people are men who haven’t had children, or chose to have children.

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shrimpman76 avatar
Nicklas Linder
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahahaha!!! What a joke of a guy... My mom had to bring me and my sister up because of an alcoholic dad and he didn't pay jack s--t, so this dude can consider himself lucky compared to the hundreds of thousand of women who don't recaive anything from the fathers... F--k him and his problems. My only concern is if he raises the child to be the same, the world doesn't need more egoistical a-holes. Has he even thought about the mental abuse the mother received for being coerced into giving birth?!?

marilyn-holt-3 avatar
Marilyn Holt
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow and just wow!!! Has anyone at all spent 10 seconds thinking about this child whom nobody seems to want or love? Millions of families would give everything to raise and love this little boy. Dad is definitely the deadbeat. Horrible!!!!!

mebeka avatar
Rebekah
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the most fabulous thing I'm read on BP is weeks. Way to school this dude. What-An-Idiot.

cammieharpole avatar
Xiaolaohu
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I smell a rat, this is fake now twist it and say that it is really the dad who is a deadbeat.....sad though either way.

kwill04 avatar
henrymccartan avatar
Henry McCartan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You farmed a 2 year old story from Reddit? Get your own content.

kwill04 avatar
Kiahna
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good point Henry. Maybe you should have your own website and be responsible for putting a bunch of different stories on it every week! I'm sure you'd be able to!

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mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so clearly fake, I'm guessing that whoever the woman is that wrote this was trying to get male conservative pro life types to think with a gender reverse scenario, if it works then more power to her, because those guys are crazy and have zero consideration about the impact that forcing women to carry babies has on them, but I'm not buying that any guy is this thick and that any woman would go through 9 months of madness just to gift some random guy she has a casual relationship with a baby she did not want, and then to fork out money on surgery to fix the damage that the pragnancy did to her body, which as a gym type i'm guessing is something she takes pride in, this level altruism is just not believable, even before you add on the monthly 125% child care cost that she's giving up out of her pay packet to support this guy on this endeavour.

jadynsherrod2019 avatar
Time Itself
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These things really happen, maybe not often or they're just not talked about often. My guess is that he somehow guilt-tripped her into feeling like she was obligated to have the kid and then having her own plan to leave right after as in "If you wanted this kid so badly, here! It's all yours!" And she most likely didn't get the abortion cause she either couldn't pay for it on her own at the time or thought he would've done something to her if she had.

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olgaantonova avatar
Olga Antonova
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The guy is just exhausted like many single parents and needs help. To be honest, women are doing this rather often – making decision to have a baby when men clearly don’t want to, in hope of them “doing the right thing” to get married. And even if biological fathers pay child support, they still complain that dads are not involved in raising a child, and try every way to get them do it - just like this guy does. Do people call it abuse??? No, what people usually say in such cases is “go girl, get him”.

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree Olga. There should be an “opt out” period for men, equal to the length of the time she has to abort.

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alusairalustriel avatar
Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
5 years ago

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Poor kid. I don't understand that man - he wants his precious wanted, saved baby to be taken care of by a person, who clearly doesn't want to have anything to do with them? It's clear to me he doesn't care about the kid having a mother, but he cares about HIM having free time. Get a nanny bro, and be a man, not a pussy.

jadynsherrod2019 avatar
Time Itself
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This would've fine if you hadn't added "and be man, not a pussy" at the end

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carolereid avatar
Carole Reid
Community Member
5 years ago

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I think they are both self absorbed a******s and the child deserves someone who will love him. These two are incapable of that. Very, very sad.

kwill04 avatar
Kiahna
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. Just the father. The mother was clear about what she wanted from the start. If she was allowed to get an abortion, the child would never be neglected and raised by his idiot father. But the father didn't want to give up his delusional dreams of a wife and child who would follow his every move. He should grow some balls and give the child up for adoption. Give him to someone who will love him properly.

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ninbug22 avatar
D whelan
Community Member
5 years ago

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This is a 'fake' post, it's purpose was to show the difference in empathy afforded to single dads versus single mums, to see if men would be treated the same if they were to express similar complaints made by single mothers who had chosen to keep their baby against the wishes of the father, if they would receive the same level of understanding, empathy and support based on gender of parent.

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well if that’s what they were investigating then they did a p**s poor job. They should have made the man’s hypothetical question more aligned with real problems that single moms face.

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Garrincha
Community Member
5 years ago

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Feel sorry for the baby. The baby does need a mother though. Poor little guy. But yeah he is for sure in the wrong on this one. Gotta give it to all the single mommas out there raising kids on thier own.

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Scott M
Community Member
5 years ago

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I'm going to call shenanigans on the original post. It smacks of being staged by a MGTOW/men's rights activist with a turned-tables narrative. Looks like almost everyone played-into the trap, saying "he got what he asked for", "his manipulations backfired on him", and "the biological mother has every right to walk away and not be involved in the life of a child she didn't want in the first place." The usual bitter narrative is that women are manipulative sociopaths who will go to extreme lengths to defeat birth control methods in order to get impregnated, refuse to terminate the pregnancy (and of course the man has no say in whether she carries to term, rightly so) & trap unwitting boyfriends in relationships & families they weren't ready for and don't want. There's little sympathy for men claiming this happened to them since "it takes two to tango" and they can't just shirk their responsibilities.

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Scott M
Community Member
5 years ago

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I'm not sure what disturbs me more, that so many people fell for it, or that there's a double standard where the fictional person who tries to entrap another in a relationship with unwanted parenthood is condemned soundly when it's a man, but kind of shrugged-off if it's a woman. Regardless of who is doing it in any context, it's a despicable act to use a child to manipulate someone else.

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ravina nimje
Community Member
5 years ago

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its okay for a women to act like guy for a once. I dont understand why people are making scene out of it.

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leniwiec2000 avatar
Sloth
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Raising a child is not "just hiring a babysitter". It's a lot of responsibility, hard work and love. It is certainly not ~that~ easy.

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AzKahleesi
Community Member
5 years ago

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I''m very torn with that response, let's get something straight here, and if this dude is reading I'm talking to YOU.... First off Kuddos for talking her out of the abortion. I don't believe abortion should be used for birth control. If SHE didn't want to get pregnant she should've been using birth control and you a condom or both or whatever. But BC is NOT birth control. That's all I'm going to say about that. But YOU should've known what the f**k you were getting into. You think raising a baby is easy? No it's hard. I have 7 I know. It's sleepless nights, it's crying both baby AND you. It's spit up, poop, pee and endless fevers. But then there's the moments where the baby looks at you with all the love in the universe and coos, or touches your face and then smiles. And THAT'S what makes all the other c**p worth it. You don't get to call her a dead beat. Is she a piece of s**t? Yea sounds like it I am a mother so I don't understand how you can walk away ...To be continued

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s as if all you care about is taking away women’s rights so much that you’ll align yourself with the shittiest people.

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Anne
Community Member
5 years ago

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I hope he takes the response he got, reads it, reads it again, and put his big girl panties on.

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Ben Dover
Community Member
5 years ago

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paying child support is not parenting, imagine telling a single mom "If you can't hack it give it up for adoption", in 18 years this child can ask the mom to her face why she chose not be involved. I doubt the child will blame the parent who stayed and did their job.

darklumiya avatar
DarkLumiya
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can't force people to be a parent when they don't want to, she made it clear from the start she did not want to. But because he was a selfish a*****e he forced her to give birth and that he will take 100% responsibility, now he can't cos he didn't think 2 seconds ahead. She doesn't want to be a parent, she doesn't claim to be a parent she doesn't even need to pay extra but she does. If the child asks why she didn't get involved then she will tell the truth that she was forced to have him, if he doesn't like the answer he can take it up with his useless dad who wanted to have his mom as a breeding slave basically.

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Melissa Powers
Community Member
5 years ago

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I'm with the guy. She chose to carry the baby to term but doesn't want to have anything to do with it's upkeep. the father seems willing to do the bulk of care but wants some help. Totally reasonable .She could have aborted but chose not to. Therefore, she chose to bring life into the world. She should have some responsibility in caring for that life. The dad is not being unreasonable. No one forced her to have the child, and , as of now, she had the choice to abort. she didn't. Therefore, she is partially responsible.

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Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
5 years ago

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BP, btw, you are aware this case was posted on Reddit IN 2016?! TWO YEARS AGO? What the hell is wrong with you editros?!

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Jake taylor
Community Member
5 years ago

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THAT WOMAN CAN BE CALLED ANYTHING BUT MOTHER, SHE IS AN IDIOT AND HAS NO FEELINGS OF A HUMAN. SHE IS AN ANIMAL

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SexyEggPlant
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How? Because she doesn't want to be a mother and almost was forced to be one?

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Mark Fuller
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a bloke, so saying this hopefully demonstrates I'm not a misogynistic sod. But isn't this the dire situation men have been leaving women in for centuries, as they walk away and quite literally leave her holding the baby, preferring to absolve themselves of any responsibility? Sounds like she had the brains to think this one through... while he did not. My only sympathy lies with the kid.

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Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And she pays 125% of court ordered child support, much more than she needs to. There are many absent fathers doing their best to avoid paying any child support to single mothers, sometimes even despite court orders. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, I'm not sure the court would have ordered him to pay any child support at all or at least not as much because they weren't even engaged and she (if the roles were reversed he) doesn't have visitation or any other rights concerning the child. He seems very immature; he needs to learn he can't force her (or anyone) to care and change her life according to his wishes. He should be happy she didn't sue him for coerced birth, manipulation and harassment and that she agreed to pay any child support at all and very grateful she gave him the child he allegedly so much wanted and didn't get an abortion despite his wishes or give it up to someone else for adoption.

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MammaG
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you ever heard a man say he has to "babysit" his own kids? I have. Many, many times. I've NEVER heard a woman say it. This is the mentality we're dealing with.

rotupmoc avatar
Bud Waters
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her half of the seed is developed and stays in her body. It does not matter what she let you do it was your responsibility to add or not add your half to what was already there. You are directly responsible for bringing that child to life. If you don't want to be a daddy do not ejaculate in women.

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Linouchka 99
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She didn't want the child. He wanted it. She was nice enough to give it to him AND pay for it more than she had to. Now he has it. Welcome to the beautiful world of single parenting ! Deal with it. Period.

sagejayy03 avatar
Sage Jay
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate how some men act like because they're dating someone, they get to have control over their bodies. "She wanted to have an abortion but I didn't..." Well that sucks for you, mate. Bodily autonomy is a thing. Sadly, sexist a******s exist.

sagejayy03 avatar
Sage Jay
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fetuses are not babies. Until a certain point when their brain develops enough to *almost* feel pain, they are not technically alive/they are brain dead. Even if the fetus is fully developed, it still has no right over the pregnant person. Using the pregnant person's body for nutrients is a matter of whether the person wants it to be there. Once they withdraw consent for the fetus to be in their body, they have the right to remove it. For example, if your sister is dying and the only person who can give her a blood transfusion is you, you still have the right to say no. It's ridiculous; even after you're dead people can't use your organs without consent when you were alive, even if the organs would save someone. Anti-choice people are saying that a pregnant person deserves less rights than a dead body.

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Marina
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes... It's breaking my heart to see how awful those humans are. These kind of situation are why I'm not against abortions... Sometimes being alive is not worth it, expecially when your parents don't want you - that thing scars deep and the wound stays there forever

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Bryan Elliott
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me this sounds like one of those people who fall in love with the idea of something without thinking about the realities. Like a kid who wants a puppy but then gets to find out that raising and training a living thing is actual work and just attempts to foist the responsibilities of other people all while trying to make sure they can still get all of the benefits of the situation.

thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's more likely he wanted to tie her down to him with the child. It's a common abuse tactic, as most women would not give up their children.

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Luisa Vasconcelos
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had exactly the same thought. How many women are in this "single parent " situation? At least he can count with her money and with help of his family and he can still work. Many women can't do that and don't have that. It's supposed we fill sorry because he is a men , but if would be a woman telling this story everything would be so different. He is crying hungry with his belly full.

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JP
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love that expression. "He is crying hungry with his belly full." I've never heard that one before, but, believe me, I will be using it. :)

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Aunt Messy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YOU CHOSE to bully her into having a child she didn't want. She did NOT have to do that. YOU said you'd raise the child YOU CHOSE to keep. YOU had no legal standing to stop her getting an abortion, and YOU had no legal standing to stop her giving up YOUR son for adoption. ...///... SHE is paying support and YOU made that deal. Suck it up, sunshine. This is YOUR SON. You need your a*s kicked around the block, you sick little puppy.

nikkid avatar
Nikki D
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My heart bleeds for this poor child. Even worse, when he is older he very well might find his dad's post.

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DawnMarie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is such a good point. The thought never even crossed my mind. That poor kid!!

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Jill Pulcifer
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not a deadbeat parent, ask my three girls what a deadbeat parent is and they will tell you about the father that walked away from them 7 years ago and pays nothing.

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Jilltdcatlady
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As the saying goes " if it happened to men they would make changes immediately" So here is the result of legislation giving the father ability to force birth. Suddenly it leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Oh, wait women have to deal with this all the time. But somehow women get labeled as having babies to get welfare,or "work the system", or (like this guy) having false hope that Love will keep them together.

onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He had NO right to "force" her to do anything. She CHOSE to carry to term and give the baby up to him as long as that was the end of her involvement. In the long run, it would have been smarter to her to either have an abortion (which is what I would have done) or give the baby up for adoption to strangers.

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Kathleen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's all been said. However, he is very young and very immature. He hopefully learned a hard lesson that you cant make anyone do anything, you cant control what anyone else says or does no matter how much you wish for it. And, he made this bed and he needs to keep making it every day. I hope the little boy finds good people in his life and in meantime has some caring mentors.

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Hayley Lightcap
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The s****y thing is he clearly didn't learn. He's just pushing the blame on her for not feeling maternal like he hoped.

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Isog Sargent
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really think this guy doesn't understand that it was all his choices.

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Amy Begun Saab
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last one is 100% correct. He wanted to keep her, own her, and use her

donflynn avatar
Don Flynn
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Resentful.... wtf??? She pays support so she isn't a deadbeat... quit being a petty pr!@k and give your son all and more than you can give. She did not a child and by his own admission he wanted to see this through. I apologize but this whiney beep beep needs to get his head out of his a**e and be a dad.

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He doesn't know how lucky he is to get 125% of court mandated support and zero interference from the other parent. I guarantee there are thousands of single parents, male and female, who would give anything for those circumstances.

chuckd784 avatar
Charles Moore
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look you wanted the child man up and be a great dad or find a great family to adopt to.

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Stille20
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This feels like a set up. Could anyone really be so ignorant as to what single moms have been going through for decades? Could anyone be less justified in demanding involvement when the "mother" made her intentions clear and gives financial support? Perhaps, but it seems ridiculous.

angiechan_1 avatar
Angie Chan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, they are out there. I have encountered many males who think that "magical fairy motherhood bonding" will make me suddenly want a child if I had to carry one to term, despite the fact I have never wanted one and been VERY clear on it. I have to resist the urge to slap the stupid out of guys who want to argue that I don't know what I want.

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Matthew MacBride
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My children's Mother left when they were 7 and 8. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself I had two little girls to worry about. I felt guilty that they only had one parent around and sometimes wondered if I was enough but I never thought of them as a burden. I did the best I could was always available to talk about anything and unfortunately that meant anything and everything no matter how uncomfortable it was, but they needed someone and Being their Dad I was that person. Well that was over 20 years ago and now they are both grown up and on their own with their careers and I think I did Okay, But it Truly was the only choice

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Wil Vanderheijden
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since poster "rand0mip"said it all, further comments are superfluous. The "father" was, is and will be a self-centered jerk.

idrow avatar
Id row
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the roles were reversed, we'd be praising the dad for paying 125% of the child support while simply expecting the mother to raise the child. Now that the roles are reversed, this guy has the nerve, the audacity to say being a single parent sucks and is nothing but hard work. Welcome to what women have had top put up with since the dawn of time and a lot of that time, there was no child support. This guy better man the hell up or find adoptive parents for this child.

westofthepecossales avatar
Paula Swanson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would you want to force your child onto a person who doesn't want anything to do with them. How could you trust that she would give proper care. Can handle them emotionally? Won't hurt the child? She is not a dead beat...just not a mom. You are doing what millions of single moms do....but with financial support. Hire a sitter once a week for a day off. One day...it helps, trust me.

kanna172014 avatar
Kiki
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What did you expect? You didn't want her to get an abortion so suck it up and act like a man. Or give the kid up for adoption.

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MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, i totally understand her. Nobody should ever be forced to raise kid they don't want and since dude is the one who wanted kid, he has no moral ground to expect her to raise kid. It's not ideal situation, sure, but well, he chose it.

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Nicola Marie Jackson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At a restaurant: Waiter: What can I get you? Him: We will both have the steak. Her: I'm a vegan. Can I have a salad? Him: No. Two steaks. Her: Vegan! Him: Two. Steaks. Waiter brings steaks. Him: Why won't she eat it?!

angiehellyeah avatar
Angie Hellyeah
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh god, what a horrible person this dude is. You realize that it was NICE of her to even give birth to the child?! She could have had an abortion without his consent, because it’s her body, this is extremely nice of her actually! Now she pays more support THAN THE COURT HAS ORDERED, omg this woman is a saint if you ask me. She made it clear she doesn’t want children and we don’t live in the 18th century so WAKE UP. You seem like some kind of closeted sexist who thinks every woman HAS to ant children and their main responsibility in life is to take care of kids. Wtf?! Just get a nanny, for god‘s sake. Or even better give that poor child up for adoption, before you’re gonna nag him with stories about his „horrible mother“ 24/7 and raise a misogynist or even worse, an incel or something. You are the worst.

lindamatheny avatar
Linda Matheny
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG, welcome to every single mother out there where the man jumped ship and she is left holding the "Bag." Mothers do this day in and day out, go to college, go to work, miss work to stay at home with sick children, get home, fix meals, run the kids to after school events and are totally exhausted! Grow up and quit whining.

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Alex Newell
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that." "I honestly thought she would bond during the pregnancy and would eventually change her mind." Sounds like just another case of a man thinking no means maybe

johnfranquiz avatar
John Franquiz
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, it’s so obvious. She is fulfilling her court mandated obligations and paying more. The court can’t force her to visit her kid. So what do you want? A break? Hire a nanny with the extra 25 percent she is giving you. You “expected” her to ding the “magic” ? I’m a parent and needed those breaks too but I could never see myself saying I “resent” my son. I actually have a friend whose ex wife had a mental breakdown and he had to raise both his kids on his own. For years he never even dated. The kids grew and he has some breathing room now. So it goes. Your son needs you. Buckle up and be there for him. You have the right to be tired. You don’t have the right to resent an innocent child who depends on you alone

tdld74 avatar
Tanya Dalton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She’s not a dead beat mom, she paying you to a raise a kid she didn’t want to keep. I don’t think she should even pay child support. She warned you and you took on the responsibility of more or less A green to adopt a child from a mother that didn’t want one

mbgrzy avatar
Michele Grzywacz
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Selfish git, she told you at the outset she did not want the baby and she did not want to be a mom. You are a bully because you thought you could force her to do something she told you she wouldn't. You are the person who demanded the responsibility for your child and now you want to change the terms. Oh well, if you can't love this child the way he should be loved then you should give him up for adoption immediately instead of using him as cudgel against his mother.

annaannabb avatar
AnnaB
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, I'm sure this is just a fabricated attempt to make people realize what so many women go through as single parents. However, if they wanted to make it more realistic, they should have cut the support money down from 125% to 0% - which is how much the majority of dead beat fathers are paying.

erinsheppard avatar
Erin Sheppard
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sound like he needs a break, nothing more nothing less. We're all worn and tired and frustrated, but thats what we do, as parents.

carmenelena avatar
Carmen Elena
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a parent is not easy at all: is frustrating, exhausting, stressful, and a huge etc. This guy wanted to be one and now that he is he found out it´s not funny and even worse: tries to get the ex involved. Well, I´m a single parent, welcome to our world my friend. Your baby is not a toy you can forget just for a while bc you are tired. As they said: Be a man and assume the responsability you asked for.

mike1dog avatar
Michael Vickery
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, a throwaway account on Reddit. I totally an sure that happened.

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vogonpoet
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I support the remarks on this. She never wanted the baby to begin with. However, people who DID want the baby/babies and then walk away, without contributing anything (other than severe emotional abuse) are complete tossers. I feel for the kid. I would have been happy, if my ex had walked away when my babies were young, even without monetary support (which, he doesn't provide), because it would have meant my girls would have been without the emotional abuse that ensued over the years, before he walked away from them. Only my youngest girl has avoided the outcome.

vonskippy avatar
Vonskippy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only is the guy a major loser, he's put his genes into the human gene pool. Too stupid to understand birth control, waaaaaay to stupid to not to support the girl when she wanted to get an abortion. The kid is blameless, it's sad he has to deal with you as his father. Time to suck it up little boy and be the man you thought you were when you had sex. Next time, jerk it into a sock like all the other losers do.

lady_bern85 avatar
Bern L
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kinda wonder if this is a social experiment. Such as there is the reverse where a man doesn't want the child but the woman does and has it taking full custody and getting child support, but at the same time will want the man who wanted nothing to do with the parenthood to step in as a father. He could do what is wanted of him as far as providing support but will still be called a deadbeat and blamed for impregnating the woman than choosing not to be a part of their child's life.

lisaj avatar
Lisa J
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it weird they don't date this articles? The reddit thread is 2 years old, but the screen captures show 1 year... Anyways it's a good show of 🅰️✔ trolling.

jasminkatanner avatar
Cat person
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem with my parents is that they both wanted me to themselves because they hated each other. My mum apparently tried to take me to Slovakia with her to get away from my dad but then my dad took her to court and they got shared custody of me but that meant they had to live in the same city

shivwits avatar
Virginia Gould
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll generously assume that much of this guy's angry tone is coming from the exhaustion and frustration of being a single parent. And I will grant that it's admirable for him to be devoted to his kid, and hopefully he will continue to do so. That being said, the mother made her wishes and intentions perfectly clear from the start. This man in no way respected them. For her to pay well more than the court-ordered child support for a child that she made it absolutely clear from the beginning that she didn't want is incredibly generous of her. Hopefully the guy in question will remember all this next time he gets a girl knocked up and expects her to "take one for the team."

ldragonteethl avatar
Della Greymane
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an adoptive mom, I am quite sure there are hundreds of couples who would be more than overjoyed to give this youngster a home. With an open adoption he could even have visitation opportunities with his child after the adoption. So foolish to get himself into this situation, though, so I doubt he is smart enough to see his way out in a manner that benefits the child. Wrap it before you tap it, gentlemen.

sunnyrei82 avatar
sunnyrei82
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is absurd. This guy is so whiny. We ALL know more than 1 single mother, and eventhough it is hard as hell, they stand up, and do the job without crying like a baby. In what world does this guy live? Welcome to the real world of women, pal!

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, tons of single AND married mothers do nothing but b***h whine and nag about being moms and how hard and thankless it is and then pretend it’s the best thing that ever happened to them. They are trashy too but this guy is different because he actively stopped the mother from getting an abortion when she wanted one.

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Val
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what have we learned from all this? HAVE SAFE SEX!

leniwiec2000 avatar
Sloth
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what you learn later in life? Using protection like condoms, pills or other does NOT work 100%. It surely lowers the risk of pregnancy but it's not perfect.

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Daria B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It might have been pointed out already, but doesn't this guy see how self-explanatory the title of his post is..... I just feel sorry for the kid. Hope they will grow up into a strong and nice person. It will be a tough journey.

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Debbie Bourque
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a male friend, he started dating a woman I know. He made it VERY clear he did not want a child. She stopped taking birth control and became pregnant. She tried so hard to make him out to be the bad guy. Spreading all kinds of nasty rumors, etc. I was on his side, he made it very clear he did not want children. He supports the child but has not relationship with him. People should respect/listen to their partners!

leslie-cully avatar
Leslie Cully
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wanted a baby, but he obviously wanted HER to do the parenting. What a whiner.

elizabeth_gardner925 avatar
Elizabeth Gardner
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No he has nothing to b***h about. He got her pregnant ( with help from her also) she did not want it he insisted so be it on his head. Men have done this to women for god knows how long. They always manage with no help from the father. No connection and more often than not no money! That she pays support is more than a lot of blokes in that situation he should be grateful for that. He cannot force her to love a child nor take care of a child she did not want in the first place. He seems to think ALL women are naturally maternal, this is simply not true many are not! He got what he wanted the child he sired. Why should he ask for more? Now he knows how the women of the world feel!

corinnestephan avatar
Corinne Stephan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this guys assumed that all women have motherly instincts. No way can a woman abandon her child...I chose not to have children, I have no motherly instincts so I chose not to take a chance and bring someone into this world and screw them up by not been able to show them the love they deserve ( and I m the one been called selfish) . I get so annoyed when people tell me "you'll see, it' different when it's your own ". I hope this story will show that feelings don't always change because you gave birth ... You got what you wanted mate ! you made your bed now lie in it but for the childs sake either get help or let a couple that desperatly want children adopt him.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well lets see, she wanted to kill him in the womb, yet you're somehow surprised that she didnt bond with him during her pregnancy? Dude is having to deal with the reality most single moms have been dealing with for centuries but WITHOUT 125% of child support. Do I think she's a crappy person? Sure. Do I think she's legally obligated to do more than financially support you and the kid? Nope.

tomhoudek avatar
Tomáš Houdek
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I'm about to become father, I feel so sory for the kid, imagining this kid reading this post, unwanted and denied by mother, refused by father. I just hope that joke-of-a-father will get him adopted as soon as possible to loving family, so the little one will never remember any of it.

benzz74ola avatar
Ben Cazzola
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. Ill have the wee lad. I am also single parent, working full time, making it work and loving it. My 6yo daughter tells me daily how were the best. this needs some balls and brain cells. Poor little boy.

ptoddchesser avatar
Todd Chesser
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why didn't anyone say ANYTHING about this human derelict's failure to use a condom? If he had one scintilla of self responsibility and self respect, he would have thought of that right around the time he wanted to have sex with her. This guy is a moron and complete waste of skin. Poor kid.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I read this guys whiny post about how he got more than he bargained for, I thought "WTF Dude!?! YOU were the one that wanted the kid! You were the one that wanted the responsibility! Now you're trying to shove it off on her because you have what is the equivalent of buyer's remorse? STFU!" I was also thinking that his family isn't helping because they see him as a dumbass. I prefer adoption over abortion, but it should still have been the girls choice, not the guys. If he wanted to be a parent so badly, then he should have done it the right way by finding a girl who he would have a vested relationship with and commit to being with her first before the kids arrived. Until then, he needs to keep his soldiers in check.

annettnyrud avatar
Annett Nyrud
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking, what if the roles were reversed? When this woman wanted an abortion and the guy did not, I thought that the responsibility was all his, and that of course she has the right to want nothing to do with the child. But what if it was a man who wanted the abortion, and a woman who wanted the child? I caught myself thinking that of course he had the responsibility to help and support the woman, since it takes two to tango, and he can not force the woman into have an abortion - he needs to take responsibility for making her pregnant. Many men have been caught in this "trap" having to take care of a child that they did not want. What if the man and the woman have to decide together, and the one who wants to keep it have to sign a contract that he/she understands that there will be no support from the one who wants the pregnancy terminated? At the same time, I strongly feel that it is the woman who should decide if there is an abortion or not (her body).

annettnyrud avatar
Annett Nyrud
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are morally against abortions, that only makes it more important to be careful not to get pregnant/make someone pregnant.

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francheskarippon avatar
Francheska rippon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont even know if you'll see this but i had to comment. As it stands, and without going into the how and the why,you are all this child has. Exhausting as it is, they rely on you and you alone, that's as simple as it gets. Your child needs you and probably worships the ground you walk on. Hopefully that thought will help a little. One question though:why would you want someone,the child's mother or otherwise, who has no interest, to help with the parenting? That doesn't make sense. Your child deserves to have people that love and care.

gvblack avatar
Gillian Black
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

gee whizz think of your son he will grow up resentful knowing that neither of you really wanted him but he was a p**n, best thing you can do is give him to a loving family who want kids to love and nuture honestly you are a sic controlling person . i feel so sorry for the little boy, not you

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you rand0mip, you hit the nail on the head as that is exactly what the situation is. Poor little baby, I hope he goes up for adoption because someone needs to love him.

melayahm avatar
Caroline Driver
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wanted it, he got to keep it, just like who knows how many women who get raped/knocked up every day and are forced to be single parents with absent fathers. Sorry mate, you're just experiencing the other side of the coin first hand. You thought that she'd just change her mind for you, well tough, she acted 'like a man' and left you with the baby. Suck it up and campaign for single parents everywhere. No sympathy for him, only the child, hoping he doesn't f%^& him up too.

vec7ors avatar
iamvectorious
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now replace all of rand0mips rant from male gender to female. How does it sound?

susann_campbell_7 avatar
Susann Campbell
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That poor sweet baby in the hands of a man that doesn't even want him.

bronmargaret avatar
Magpie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am wondering if this is a set up/ fake. The guy spells it out so clearly that he is in the wrong by hassling her.

shaynameidela avatar
Dorothy Parker
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Terribly, terribly sad. The kid didn't know what raising a child entailed, or that the birth mother truly wouldn't want the child. He is engaging in what is called magical thinking; that just because that's what he wanted/expected, it would make it so. I hope he will get smart and consider giving the little boy up for an open adoption, one that he can be sure will take him as their own, rather than relinquishing him to foster care. The birth mother was clear from the start, and the father was/is unable to hear her. He forced her to go through a traumatic experience, but he still isn't done with wanting to force his will on her. He needs some therapy, ASAP.

mdclgyselinck avatar
Michèle Gyselinck
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last one has the best come-back. If this guy wanted a kid so badly that he forced a woman into giving birth to the child, then he's the one responsible for raising it. If he finds that too hard, he can give the boy up for adoption. There are plenty of couples dying to adopt a child. But forcing her to raise the kid when she's paying 125% support? He doesn't have a case. If I were the judge I'd laugh him out of court.

jennyih avatar
Peta Hurley-Hill
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After our 4th child,my husband & I would sometimes split the duties ,taking 2 each.Pretty much every time ,we would hear..."Oh you're babysitting for the wife "(?!)," he's so good to you" etc.One time at a family gathering,he changed our newborn's nappy (while I wrangled the 6,4 and 1 yr olds),did I get a "oh aren't you good with them"..? No,but I was told how "lucky" I was,to "thank him"for "doing my job for me" and how "clever"& "brave" he was,how "Grateful" I should be etc..This wasn't him,he always had the view that we made them together,so we were both responsible for their "upkeep".But others always made me feel he was doing me a favor ! Attitudes like that is what creates "manbabies" like the bloke in the article.The creep only wanted the baby to force the poor girl to be with him.She gave up so much to carry & birth a child,when she didn't want or have to have.Yet he paints her as the bad one...All I can say to him is,be careful what you wish for.

octopusrising avatar
Octopus Rising
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find a lot of these responses really disturbing. Both of these people made a choice to bring a life into this world. She was not forced. That new life should be the primary concern and two involved parents are important. That may not be something legally feasible but morally that kid did nothing wrong and will suffer as a result of their joint irresponsibility.

magdalina777 avatar
Magdalina777
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Assuming the story here is actually real...am I the only one who actually feels sorry for the guy?o.O So much hatred here, that's not how you make the world a nicer place, you know. Imho it sounds like the guy had it for the girl more than she had it for him so he wanted the kid and through it, perhaps a lasting relationship and family with her. But she didn't so now she's out and he's having a very hard time understanding/accepting that, plus is super exhausted and stressed from raising the baby, so he's desperately clinging to straws trying to bring her back. If that's the case, he's made a mistake, but it doesn't quite make him the villain of the year. I just hope he can let it/her go finally, hire a nanny and move on, perhaps to being a great single parent, perhaps even to finding another mom to the kid eventually.

magdalina777 avatar
Magdalina777
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously court forcing the girl to play mother, even if that was legally possible, could only do harm rather than good - not caring for baby now, she'd just hate it then, and she'd definitely hate the guy for forcing her too so who'd that help? It is a stupid idea but to be fair in the context it just kinda sounds really desperate.

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madsjchic avatar
Adrienne Roscoe
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone pointed out that maybe this account was fake and the story was written to outrage people? Doesn’t matter but the story is just toooooo perfectly outrageous.

cg_pitch avatar
Chris Pitch
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can not even think of the words to say over this putrid pile of vile bile.

em_1 avatar
Martina Třešková
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am speechless to this. This guy has some clear brain issues if he doesn't see anything wrong happening from his side. This whole story is so, so wrong. I also don't understand the girl who went through pregnancy just because he wanted so.

nicoletamarinam avatar
Marina
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only burden in that family is you to the future of that child. Start acting like a proper father before he has grown enough to understand your "resentment" and ruin his life. Own your choices and be an effin man! Or find him a better home.

comerfordsamantha46 avatar
Samantha Comerford
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She hit it right on the head , didn’t she. I do hope the child is looked after properly. Maybe you need more time, mane you don’t. But the main issue here, is that child. You need to be honest with yourself. It’s not a toy, you can’t put it back after getting fed up with it. I would seriously consider a lovely family for adoption, give the child what he / she deserves. You will only resent that poor child, and they feel and know that from day one.

mekala-whitaker avatar
Roxy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have so much to say but I will just leave it with this.... WHY IN HELL WILL YOU WANT HER TO HAVE VISITATION? She has already proved and said that she doesn't want anything to do with the baby and she wanted to kill him while she was pregnant!! How will you know that she will be responsible to take care of him if your son is with her!? I wouldnt trust her whatsoever! Stop and think about it....also, if you are having rest issues, need help or whatever, ASK YOUR FRIENDS and continue to let you family know what your going through that you need help. Don't be so desperate to do something to help yourself that won't help your son. Your not the only single parent in this world. People do it all the time. Stop being selfish and think of your son! There are so many people that would trade places with you in a second. Like I said, I have alot to say, but if you choose to change your perspective, it will help you to think clearly to help yourself and your issues and also, your son will love and react to you alot better!

central_capital avatar
Weronika Hajdas
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know many women who lives like this. Many. and i'm sure everyone know at least one. this is not rare. Men leave women with kids all the time and this is accepted. This case is different only because he is a man, a father. I don't know why anybody would feel sorry for him. Single mothers are exhausted all the time too. And it's normal for everybody. They often don't have enough money or time to earn enough money. He gets money from her, more than he should, she was honest with him how it would be... i really don't get it what he want. You are tired? Sorry, but i have a kid too, dad of my son lives with us and loves us, and sometimes i'm really tired. That't how it is. Parenthood. She was honest with him. He chose it that way. Welcome to be a single parent. He's fine anyway. I only feel sorry for this little boy.

eizalopezd avatar
ptm45
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

simple solution: keep your legs closed and your junk in your trunk. end of problem.

atruong74 avatar
SweetMamaP
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To this whiny immature idiot: Did you think that because you were able to bully her into keeping the child, you could also force her to be a parent? If you can't hack it, there are plenty of folks out there who would love the kid and also have the maturity to be a real parent. Stop using the courts to get back at your ex (because that's really what your little pity party is about). You are not going to win. Kids can read resentment in the womb and that poor kid didn't ask for any of this garbage from you.

johncenafanmimi avatar
Erica Rose Wilkinson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How can you resent a baby? It’s not his fault at all...poor little thing.

jennifercoffman avatar
jennifer coffman
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She already did way more than she needed to. The last tweet is correct. Awful, abusive men get women pregnant all the damn time so that they will have a slave for at least 18 or so years. It is a form of domestic abuse. My mother had a good shot at a decent future before she got knocked up by my loser of a pedophile father. I never had a chance at a decent life, and she is 85 years old, still living with the consequences of her decision even though he has been dead for years and years. We have never talked about it, but I know we both wish abortion had been legal and accessible when it happened.

luyendao avatar
Lu
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Couldn't keep it in his pants, and the result is a baby he resents...sounds like two lives are now messed up.

nirity avatar
Nirity
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her motherly instincts kicked enough, she gave birth to a kid she didnt wanted, she is paying too much child support for a kid she didnt want, what more? Usually the guy begs and cries he want a kid then leaves and doesnt help at all. Exactly this happened to me. This guy has already too much help from a responsible forced to be a parent mother. What a douche. Yes, caring for a child is hard, thats what women have told forever for a reason.

darklumiya avatar
DarkLumiya
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an a*****e piece of s**t of a human. Hope he finally made a useful decision once in his life and sign that child off to adoption then castrated himself.

heathervance avatar
AzKahleesi
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(continued) from a child, but men have done it for eons. So how is it any different? That is YOUR baby that YOU helped create. YOU stood up to take care of him (good job) now your only choices are either shut the f**k up and raise your son, or give him up for adoption. Hell I'll take him, what's one more? (oh and everyone freaking out 3 are biological the other five are my adopted step kids whom I love just as much as if they came from my eggs.)

buzzjane avatar
Jane Thorne-Gutierrez
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poor child!! A father in name but is tired of his new " toy" and has no clue how to really embrace this kid and love him. Give him to parents who will adopt and LOVE him. This guy only really loves himself, and needs to re-assess the situation as WHATS BEST FOR THE CHILD, not for him!

wheebyulhwasun avatar
WheeByulHwaSun
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL, this sounds like he was trying to tie her down to him. Almost sounded like he wanted someone to take care of him. I respect the woman for being able to not get manipulated.

sweetangelce04 avatar
Christina Sersif
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have just got the abortion anyway. It's not his decision. It's a matter of I'm telling you because you're the father. The only answer he should have given is, "I support your decision."

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously! I wonder why she would listen to him. Maybe he convinced her it would be like a gift.

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bobbinewell avatar
Bobbi Newell
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So all this happened two years ago, which makes that poor kid around 3 1/2 now. I really hope his situation is better now, either because his father manned up, or did what should he have done in the first place, and put him up for adoption.

irishrdhd1 avatar
Christine Musal
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for the kid. I can only imagine how things will be when he reaches his teens.

dawnbaik avatar
Dawn Baik
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only have 3 words for this sorry excuse of a man - "What a d**k"

ionag avatar
-
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's disgusting that he didn't let her get an abortion and then expected her to take care of a child she didn't want, even though she told him she wouldn't be involved.

alexk_1 avatar
Alex K
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he should let her have an abortion. if a child is not wanted, it's life will be miserable.i feel sad for the kid, for not having a loving mother, and a stupid dad.

nothofagus001-sname avatar
Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is such an a**e-hat and his description of circumstances so bizarre that I can't help but wonder if this is a made-up post...

ingelaambreen avatar
Ingela Ambreen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a disgusting sod. Trying to force a family on someone that doesn't want it. He needs to leave her alone, she pays towards the child. He's facing the reality of many single parents, better even because he gets 125% child support. He's facing a reality he knew was coming and chose to ignore and pretend wouldn't happen. The child is better off with adoption.

marneederider40 avatar
Marnee DeRider
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's one thing for the father to want help, and another to say he "resents" the child. Even if he does (you can't help how you feel), say that out loud only to the most trusted people, NOT ONLINE. Is this guy 17?

rosebona avatar
athornedrose
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so not only did you force this woman to have a child she didn't want and resent her for doing her legal obligation and nothing more (but really, some more, as she pays more than is mandated), but you posted all this on the internet so your kid can some day find out *exactly* how much no one ever wanted them? the only abusive parent is you.

elizabethlordcary avatar
Elizabeth
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wanted the child, she didn't. She still pays child support. I know biological fathers who pressured their women into having kids and now don't pay a penny. She is NOT a deadbeat. You are living with the consequences of your decision and actions. If you need some time off, hire a babysitter! That's what responsible parents do. This post really makes me angry. As a female, as a person who cannot biologically have kids, as a step-mom, as a wife, as a human being who respects the choices of others.

carolinemurphy_1 avatar
Caroline Murphy
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think dads are underrated and there are some very good ones out there. My dad gave up a lot of things to become a single father to me and my sister when the only other given by the courts was for us to go to care (my mum is a nice person and loves us, but wasn't capable) and he's been amazing. My sister-in-law cheated on my brother with his best friend, left him and refuses to give him any access. My brother has fought (and still fighting) for access but the courts are on her side..... On the other hand, there's this guy and my nieces' father who refuses to believe they are his, has never given my sister child support, belittles her, says she is a terrible mother (she's fantastic) and has done the same to other women (at 26 I think he has about 8 kids with 6 different women including my sister)

shewolfalia avatar
Alia G.
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s true there are fathers that do just fine. But that’s not the point of this article. This is talking about a single situation, and I don’t know if your story is entirely relevant.

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leanadecabrera avatar
atl.XVI
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally, I don't like putting abortion out there as an option (that's my belief but I put that on no one else). I think that if you made the baby, deliver it, and what happens after is up to you whether it be putting the child up for adoption or choosing to start parenthood, whatever. However, I don't think it's moral to force someone into one or the other of those two options after birth. This guy is nuts if he thinks the courts will force her to raise this child. Are men forced to raise their children with the mothers they've abandoned? Last time I checked, no. Saying you resent your child is just f****d up. That's how kids get messed up in the head. What a jackass.

shewolfalia avatar
Alia G.
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You’re probably the first person I’ve seen who doesn’t support pro-choice but is willing to call it just their own opinion. I do applaud you for that. If this isn’t to personal, are you a man or a woman, and are you a parent? I’m honestly curious, because most pro-life people are men who haven’t had children, or chose to have children.

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shrimpman76 avatar
Nicklas Linder
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahahaha!!! What a joke of a guy... My mom had to bring me and my sister up because of an alcoholic dad and he didn't pay jack s--t, so this dude can consider himself lucky compared to the hundreds of thousand of women who don't recaive anything from the fathers... F--k him and his problems. My only concern is if he raises the child to be the same, the world doesn't need more egoistical a-holes. Has he even thought about the mental abuse the mother received for being coerced into giving birth?!?

marilyn-holt-3 avatar
Marilyn Holt
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow and just wow!!! Has anyone at all spent 10 seconds thinking about this child whom nobody seems to want or love? Millions of families would give everything to raise and love this little boy. Dad is definitely the deadbeat. Horrible!!!!!

mebeka avatar
Rebekah
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the most fabulous thing I'm read on BP is weeks. Way to school this dude. What-An-Idiot.

cammieharpole avatar
Xiaolaohu
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I smell a rat, this is fake now twist it and say that it is really the dad who is a deadbeat.....sad though either way.

kwill04 avatar
henrymccartan avatar
Henry McCartan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You farmed a 2 year old story from Reddit? Get your own content.

kwill04 avatar
Kiahna
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good point Henry. Maybe you should have your own website and be responsible for putting a bunch of different stories on it every week! I'm sure you'd be able to!

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mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so clearly fake, I'm guessing that whoever the woman is that wrote this was trying to get male conservative pro life types to think with a gender reverse scenario, if it works then more power to her, because those guys are crazy and have zero consideration about the impact that forcing women to carry babies has on them, but I'm not buying that any guy is this thick and that any woman would go through 9 months of madness just to gift some random guy she has a casual relationship with a baby she did not want, and then to fork out money on surgery to fix the damage that the pragnancy did to her body, which as a gym type i'm guessing is something she takes pride in, this level altruism is just not believable, even before you add on the monthly 125% child care cost that she's giving up out of her pay packet to support this guy on this endeavour.

jadynsherrod2019 avatar
Time Itself
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These things really happen, maybe not often or they're just not talked about often. My guess is that he somehow guilt-tripped her into feeling like she was obligated to have the kid and then having her own plan to leave right after as in "If you wanted this kid so badly, here! It's all yours!" And she most likely didn't get the abortion cause she either couldn't pay for it on her own at the time or thought he would've done something to her if she had.

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Olga Antonova
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The guy is just exhausted like many single parents and needs help. To be honest, women are doing this rather often – making decision to have a baby when men clearly don’t want to, in hope of them “doing the right thing” to get married. And even if biological fathers pay child support, they still complain that dads are not involved in raising a child, and try every way to get them do it - just like this guy does. Do people call it abuse??? No, what people usually say in such cases is “go girl, get him”.

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree Olga. There should be an “opt out” period for men, equal to the length of the time she has to abort.

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Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
5 years ago

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Poor kid. I don't understand that man - he wants his precious wanted, saved baby to be taken care of by a person, who clearly doesn't want to have anything to do with them? It's clear to me he doesn't care about the kid having a mother, but he cares about HIM having free time. Get a nanny bro, and be a man, not a pussy.

jadynsherrod2019 avatar
Time Itself
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This would've fine if you hadn't added "and be man, not a pussy" at the end

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Carole Reid
Community Member
5 years ago

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I think they are both self absorbed a******s and the child deserves someone who will love him. These two are incapable of that. Very, very sad.

kwill04 avatar
Kiahna
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. Just the father. The mother was clear about what she wanted from the start. If she was allowed to get an abortion, the child would never be neglected and raised by his idiot father. But the father didn't want to give up his delusional dreams of a wife and child who would follow his every move. He should grow some balls and give the child up for adoption. Give him to someone who will love him properly.

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D whelan
Community Member
5 years ago

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This is a 'fake' post, it's purpose was to show the difference in empathy afforded to single dads versus single mums, to see if men would be treated the same if they were to express similar complaints made by single mothers who had chosen to keep their baby against the wishes of the father, if they would receive the same level of understanding, empathy and support based on gender of parent.

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well if that’s what they were investigating then they did a p**s poor job. They should have made the man’s hypothetical question more aligned with real problems that single moms face.

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Garrincha
Community Member
5 years ago

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Feel sorry for the baby. The baby does need a mother though. Poor little guy. But yeah he is for sure in the wrong on this one. Gotta give it to all the single mommas out there raising kids on thier own.

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Scott M
Community Member
5 years ago

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I'm going to call shenanigans on the original post. It smacks of being staged by a MGTOW/men's rights activist with a turned-tables narrative. Looks like almost everyone played-into the trap, saying "he got what he asked for", "his manipulations backfired on him", and "the biological mother has every right to walk away and not be involved in the life of a child she didn't want in the first place." The usual bitter narrative is that women are manipulative sociopaths who will go to extreme lengths to defeat birth control methods in order to get impregnated, refuse to terminate the pregnancy (and of course the man has no say in whether she carries to term, rightly so) & trap unwitting boyfriends in relationships & families they weren't ready for and don't want. There's little sympathy for men claiming this happened to them since "it takes two to tango" and they can't just shirk their responsibilities.

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Scott M
Community Member
5 years ago

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I'm not sure what disturbs me more, that so many people fell for it, or that there's a double standard where the fictional person who tries to entrap another in a relationship with unwanted parenthood is condemned soundly when it's a man, but kind of shrugged-off if it's a woman. Regardless of who is doing it in any context, it's a despicable act to use a child to manipulate someone else.

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ravina nimje
Community Member
5 years ago

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its okay for a women to act like guy for a once. I dont understand why people are making scene out of it.

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leniwiec2000 avatar
Sloth
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Raising a child is not "just hiring a babysitter". It's a lot of responsibility, hard work and love. It is certainly not ~that~ easy.

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AzKahleesi
Community Member
5 years ago

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I''m very torn with that response, let's get something straight here, and if this dude is reading I'm talking to YOU.... First off Kuddos for talking her out of the abortion. I don't believe abortion should be used for birth control. If SHE didn't want to get pregnant she should've been using birth control and you a condom or both or whatever. But BC is NOT birth control. That's all I'm going to say about that. But YOU should've known what the f**k you were getting into. You think raising a baby is easy? No it's hard. I have 7 I know. It's sleepless nights, it's crying both baby AND you. It's spit up, poop, pee and endless fevers. But then there's the moments where the baby looks at you with all the love in the universe and coos, or touches your face and then smiles. And THAT'S what makes all the other c**p worth it. You don't get to call her a dead beat. Is she a piece of s**t? Yea sounds like it I am a mother so I don't understand how you can walk away ...To be continued

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s as if all you care about is taking away women’s rights so much that you’ll align yourself with the shittiest people.

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Anne
Community Member
5 years ago

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I hope he takes the response he got, reads it, reads it again, and put his big girl panties on.

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Ben Dover
Community Member
5 years ago

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paying child support is not parenting, imagine telling a single mom "If you can't hack it give it up for adoption", in 18 years this child can ask the mom to her face why she chose not be involved. I doubt the child will blame the parent who stayed and did their job.

darklumiya avatar
DarkLumiya
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can't force people to be a parent when they don't want to, she made it clear from the start she did not want to. But because he was a selfish a*****e he forced her to give birth and that he will take 100% responsibility, now he can't cos he didn't think 2 seconds ahead. She doesn't want to be a parent, she doesn't claim to be a parent she doesn't even need to pay extra but she does. If the child asks why she didn't get involved then she will tell the truth that she was forced to have him, if he doesn't like the answer he can take it up with his useless dad who wanted to have his mom as a breeding slave basically.

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Melissa Powers
Community Member
5 years ago

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I'm with the guy. She chose to carry the baby to term but doesn't want to have anything to do with it's upkeep. the father seems willing to do the bulk of care but wants some help. Totally reasonable .She could have aborted but chose not to. Therefore, she chose to bring life into the world. She should have some responsibility in caring for that life. The dad is not being unreasonable. No one forced her to have the child, and , as of now, she had the choice to abort. she didn't. Therefore, she is partially responsible.

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Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
5 years ago

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BP, btw, you are aware this case was posted on Reddit IN 2016?! TWO YEARS AGO? What the hell is wrong with you editros?!

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Jake taylor
Community Member
5 years ago

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THAT WOMAN CAN BE CALLED ANYTHING BUT MOTHER, SHE IS AN IDIOT AND HAS NO FEELINGS OF A HUMAN. SHE IS AN ANIMAL

makkihestenes avatar
SexyEggPlant
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How? Because she doesn't want to be a mother and almost was forced to be one?

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