Female Manager At A Hardware Store Maliciously Complies To A Customer’s Request For A “Man’s Help”
Imagine you’re in a hardware store. The smell of sawdust lingers in the air, paint swatches are scattered across the slippery concrete floors, and workers wearing jeans and aprons stuffed with tools are walking through the giant warehouse waiting to tell you what aisle lightbulbs are in. When you flag down an employee for help, there is probably only one specific quality you’re looking for in that person: that they work there.
Unfortunately for one female manager at a hardware store, the smell of sawdust in her store was also sprinkled with sexism. 3 days ago, this former manager wrote to the Malicious Compliance subreddit to share the story of a sexist encounter she had while managing the paint department at a hardware store. r/MaliciousCompliance has 2 million members and is famous for users sharing stories of “conforming to the letter, but not the spirit, of a request”. Although the manager mentioned that the incident took place sixteen years ago, it could definitely still happen today. So enjoy her story of fulfilling this sexist customer’s request, and be sure to check out some other Bored Panda stories featuring malicious compliance here and here.
More info: Reddit
After a female manager tried to assist a woman at a hardware store, the customer began demanding a “man’s help”
Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Sexism in the workplace is unfortunately nothing new for women to be battling. There is still a gender pay gap in many countries, with women earning an average of 16% less than men in the United States and Europe. Unequal treatment is an issue as well, with about 40% of women saying they have experienced gender discrimination at work. But a common misconception many people make about sexism is that it’s only coming from men and being directed towards women. The fact is that it’s a more complicated issue than that.
The manager obliged and told the customer a male coworker would be starting his shift soon
The customer was stunned when the male employee revealed that the woman was his manager
Image credits: Reddit
The former manager mentioned in her Reddit post that she saw her “fair amount of sexual discrimination [at work], but the worst always came from women”. Unfortunately, due to internalized misogyny, some women do unknowingly perpetuate sexist notions. From a young age, we’re presented with patriarchal messages (such as, working at a hardware store is a job for men), and it can be hard to break out of that mindset, even as a woman. Internalized sexism can be exacerbated by female rivalry, a desire to fit in or seem cool among men, and a fear of creating conflicts. Placing expectations on women of what they can and can’t do is just as harmful coming from fellow women as it is from men. We should be working to empower one another and amplify female voices, rather than tear each other down.
I’m sure the female customer in this story had experienced her fair share of sexist indoctrination, but that is no excuse for disrespecting someone just trying to do her job. I hope this encounter helped shift the mindset of that customer (once she had calmed down from her embarrassment…) and that the manager was inspired to continue debunking gender stereotypes.
Have you ever seen blatant sexism at work? We’d love to hear in the comments how you proved an ignorant customer or coworker wrong!
Readers have shared their support for the manager, as well as stories of sexism they’ve encountered at work
I managed an oil change shop and had countless 'bUt YoU'rE a GiRl' instances. I think my favorite was the a$$clown who said "MANager. Not WOMANager. It's right there in the title, sweetie, so go get me a man who can fix my problem.' So, I hollered for my assistant manager. AM goes to talk with the guy, says " well, I'll have to ask my manager if we can honor this (out of date promotion).". Guess who decided he wasn't getting a discount? Sadly, if he'd been respectful, I'd've done it without thinking twice.
"manager, not womanger" said the man, who smelt, and acted like an âsshole.
Load More Replies...
I worked throughout college at a big box hardware store. Once, I had a guy ask me if a particular hair clog remover would be safe for his plastic pipes. I told him it would be. Skeptical, he said, “No offense, sweetie, but I’m not sure you know.” And he stopped a male employee walking by. I watched as the two of them scanned the fine print on the bottle, debating the product’s safety for plastic pipes. Finally, I stated again, “I KNOW for a fact it’ll be fine when used in plastic pipes.” My coworker glanced up at me and asked, “Have you used it before?” I responded, “No. But it’s in a plastic bottle, isn’t it?” Both men looked at each other… and without a word, my coworker placed the bottle he was holding back on the shelf, the customer placed the bottle he was holding in his cart, and they slowly walked away. :)
Welp, as a plumber, I can say containers and drainage pipes aren't the same kind of plastic; sulfuric acid and lye are stored in plastic containers, and can destroy pipes if used incorrectly, but who cares! You owned the patriarchy!
Load More Replies...
I needed a spherical exhaust gasket for my car (semi-custom installation) and the one the parts book called out for my vehicle was a tiny bit too small (I'm sure it was due to a metric vs. imperial equivalent size issue). The young woman behind the parts counter looked at me like I had just knighted her when I said "I don't care if it's for a Maserati or a Yugo as long as it's a tiny bit bigger than this one. I trust your judgement." And the part she retrieved for me turned out to be perfectly the right size. Of course it would be, she's a professional.
"Guy in a tie" syndrome is why we were stuck with an unqualified reality TV star as president instead of a well-qualified woman. Sexism goes right up to the top.
Agreed. I am a woman working in a profession that in the past was largely male. Thankfully that has changed. In my early years, 30 years ago, I experienced alot of sexism, and, surprisingly the worst was from women. I think women are not aware when they are being sexist because "How can I be sexist, I'm a woman!"
That is a fair question : How can a Woman be sexist herself? Legit question.
Load More Replies...
I like my nearby urgent care center. When I first go in I am seen first by a male...the nurse. Then I see the physician...always a female. I think is is an excellent system.
Nice story but imo it still shows a massive flaw in the retail system. If any (potential) customer is obnoxious, rude, ignorant, loud or simply a massive twat they don’t deserve to be treated politely. Heck, they don’t even deserve to be served or assisted at all. Tell them to behave or to leave. I think the retailers are at least partly responsible for all The entitled bastards out there
I think this is mainly a problem in some countries where "the customer is always right." Where I come from, they absolutely will kick you out if you behave like that. I did some email customer support a while back and would reply to the rude ones saying something like "If you want me to help you, please rephrase your question in a more polite way." That was particularly interesting (and satisfying) with customers from places like the US who aren't used to getting that kind of honest reply. 😄
Load More Replies...
I think BP is using the term "malicious compliance" quite a lot these days ...
That's because working people are more aware & using malicious compliance as needed. And it's needed a LOT, especially in the U.S.!
Load More Replies...
If I goto a business, I don't care who helps me as long as someone helps. In my experience most guys that I've asked for help at a business think they know all there is to know and then prove themselves wrong. And in some cases, the females they work with can work them under the table. Sad that people still want to be sexist, but I guess that shows how they were raised. They don't realize regardless of who helps they know what they are doing, otherwise they wouldn't be working there.
Hopefully, that lady customer learned her lesson. Chances are, she didn't though and had been sexist this entire time
I find it really sad that the majority of sexual discrimination was coming from women.
Yep this is something that happens. I worked at a camera store and this man wanted a camera that was not in stock or would be for a while due to the 2011 tsunami disaster. He didn’t believe me that we didn’t have it in stock and said he wanted to speak to a manager. I said sure shes right over there. And I pointed to our store manager Amy. He looks then turns and says I wanna speak to a male manager. I said well Anthony just went on lunch, so you can wait an hour to speak to a male or you can go talk to the female now, up to you. And just so you know Amy is the big boss Anthony is just her assistant. When I said that the man let out a deep sigh and reluctantly went and talked to her. She told him the same s**t I did.
I currently work at a small town hardware store and still deal with this. I will professionally tell them I can get them started and add assistance as needed. Typically I need no assistance and they are more than pleased that "a girl" could help. My favorite line to any of them is "Don't hate me cause I wear my set high".
Recently widowed at 59, I needed to buy a lawyer. Some ignorant old and shouted :DONT YOU HAVE AAN FOR THIS:!". I SHOUTED. HES DEAD. GET AWAY FROM ME! HORRIBLE
When I was twelve, I (a girl) lived with my parents, grandparents, and my aunt. One day, someone phoned up explaining that he was gonna move some furniture into the house but "needed" a man's help. Only, Granddad was at work and Dad was on a business trip, so it was only ladies at home.
I managed an oil change shop and had countless 'bUt YoU'rE a GiRl' instances. I think my favorite was the a$$clown who said "MANager. Not WOMANager. It's right there in the title, sweetie, so go get me a man who can fix my problem.' So, I hollered for my assistant manager. AM goes to talk with the guy, says " well, I'll have to ask my manager if we can honor this (out of date promotion).". Guess who decided he wasn't getting a discount? Sadly, if he'd been respectful, I'd've done it without thinking twice.
"manager, not womanger" said the man, who smelt, and acted like an âsshole.
Load More Replies... I worked throughout college at a big box hardware store. Once, I had a guy ask me if a particular hair clog remover would be safe for his plastic pipes. I told him it would be. Skeptical, he said, “No offense, sweetie, but I’m not sure you know.” And he stopped a male employee walking by. I watched as the two of them scanned the fine print on the bottle, debating the product’s safety for plastic pipes. Finally, I stated again, “I KNOW for a fact it’ll be fine when used in plastic pipes.” My coworker glanced up at me and asked, “Have you used it before?” I responded, “No. But it’s in a plastic bottle, isn’t it?” Both men looked at each other… and without a word, my coworker placed the bottle he was holding back on the shelf, the customer placed the bottle he was holding in his cart, and they slowly walked away. :)
Welp, as a plumber, I can say containers and drainage pipes aren't the same kind of plastic; sulfuric acid and lye are stored in plastic containers, and can destroy pipes if used incorrectly, but who cares! You owned the patriarchy!
Load More Replies... I needed a spherical exhaust gasket for my car (semi-custom installation) and the one the parts book called out for my vehicle was a tiny bit too small (I'm sure it was due to a metric vs. imperial equivalent size issue). The young woman behind the parts counter looked at me like I had just knighted her when I said "I don't care if it's for a Maserati or a Yugo as long as it's a tiny bit bigger than this one. I trust your judgement." And the part she retrieved for me turned out to be perfectly the right size. Of course it would be, she's a professional.
"Guy in a tie" syndrome is why we were stuck with an unqualified reality TV star as president instead of a well-qualified woman. Sexism goes right up to the top.
Agreed. I am a woman working in a profession that in the past was largely male. Thankfully that has changed. In my early years, 30 years ago, I experienced alot of sexism, and, surprisingly the worst was from women. I think women are not aware when they are being sexist because "How can I be sexist, I'm a woman!"
That is a fair question : How can a Woman be sexist herself? Legit question.
Load More Replies... I like my nearby urgent care center. When I first go in I am seen first by a male...the nurse. Then I see the physician...always a female. I think is is an excellent system.
Nice story but imo it still shows a massive flaw in the retail system. If any (potential) customer is obnoxious, rude, ignorant, loud or simply a massive twat they don’t deserve to be treated politely. Heck, they don’t even deserve to be served or assisted at all. Tell them to behave or to leave. I think the retailers are at least partly responsible for all The entitled bastards out there
I think this is mainly a problem in some countries where "the customer is always right." Where I come from, they absolutely will kick you out if you behave like that. I did some email customer support a while back and would reply to the rude ones saying something like "If you want me to help you, please rephrase your question in a more polite way." That was particularly interesting (and satisfying) with customers from places like the US who aren't used to getting that kind of honest reply. 😄
Load More Replies... I think BP is using the term "malicious compliance" quite a lot these days ...
That's because working people are more aware & using malicious compliance as needed. And it's needed a LOT, especially in the U.S.!
Load More Replies... If I goto a business, I don't care who helps me as long as someone helps. In my experience most guys that I've asked for help at a business think they know all there is to know and then prove themselves wrong. And in some cases, the females they work with can work them under the table. Sad that people still want to be sexist, but I guess that shows how they were raised. They don't realize regardless of who helps they know what they are doing, otherwise they wouldn't be working there.
Hopefully, that lady customer learned her lesson. Chances are, she didn't though and had been sexist this entire time
I find it really sad that the majority of sexual discrimination was coming from women.
Yep this is something that happens. I worked at a camera store and this man wanted a camera that was not in stock or would be for a while due to the 2011 tsunami disaster. He didn’t believe me that we didn’t have it in stock and said he wanted to speak to a manager. I said sure shes right over there. And I pointed to our store manager Amy. He looks then turns and says I wanna speak to a male manager. I said well Anthony just went on lunch, so you can wait an hour to speak to a male or you can go talk to the female now, up to you. And just so you know Amy is the big boss Anthony is just her assistant. When I said that the man let out a deep sigh and reluctantly went and talked to her. She told him the same s**t I did.
I currently work at a small town hardware store and still deal with this. I will professionally tell them I can get them started and add assistance as needed. Typically I need no assistance and they are more than pleased that "a girl" could help. My favorite line to any of them is "Don't hate me cause I wear my set high".
Recently widowed at 59, I needed to buy a lawyer. Some ignorant old and shouted :DONT YOU HAVE AAN FOR THIS:!". I SHOUTED. HES DEAD. GET AWAY FROM ME! HORRIBLE
When I was twelve, I (a girl) lived with my parents, grandparents, and my aunt. One day, someone phoned up explaining that he was gonna move some furniture into the house but "needed" a man's help. Only, Granddad was at work and Dad was on a business trip, so it was only ladies at home.
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