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Crafting a snappy and witty comeback that’ll grab everyone’s attention is no easy feat. However, all that effort and comedic instinct are worth it—if it’s on the internet, it might just live on in the digital hall of fame in screenshot form. Who knows, you might see peeps sharing your comeback for years and years. Ego boost? Yes, please!

One place where these legendary testaments to people’s wit are documented is the ‘Clever Comebacks’ page on Twitter. Having been founded just a few short months ago, in February, it’s grown to have nearly 67k followers since then.

We’ve collected the crème de la crème of clever comebacks for you to enjoy, dear Pandas, so go on and have a look at them below. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to greatness the next time you need a snappy one-liner. Don’t forget to upvote the ones you enjoyed the most and let us know what the very best comeback you’ve ever said or written was in the comments.

I reached out to British musical stand-up comedian and comedy writer Ariane Sherine to talk to her about comebacks, the role that courage plays in comedy, and how we can overcome our fear of being judged whether on-stage or on-screen. Have a read below for Bored Panda's interview with the humor expert.

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Kira Okah
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are only three companies in the USA that are allowed, by government regulation, to produce insulin. Talk to your government.

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"Courage is hugely important," British comedian Ariane told Bored Panda about its role in comedy. "The more courageous you are, the more you'll shed your inhibitions and the greater the chance that you'll say something shocking and funny."

According to the comedy expert, the element of surprise is "essential" to comedy. And more often than not, "there's an edge or a hint of cruelty" in most jokes and comebacks. "If you're timid and careful, then you're probably not going to want to offend people with comebacks and will be polite rather than witty," she said.

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Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People should really start taking those Grammarly adverts seriously.

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The anonymity that the internet and social media provide can be a double edged sword: it can help people feel freer because they'll take criticism less personally, but it can also empower bullies to spew hatred. Comedian Ariane agreed that anonymity is a tool and everything depends on how we use it. 

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"We feel freer to say things we wouldn't say in real life, but that also means we're more likely to be hurtful. I think the same is true of being on stage for comics—when we're holding the mic we feel free to dispense with niceties," she gave us her take on the relationship between anonymity, honesty, and comedy.

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Chris Wade
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In reply to "Something" - Umm, prepare to have your mind blown: you can eat more than one slice of cake.

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Bored Panda was also intrigued to find out how best not to freeze up when you're going on-stage as a comedian or if we're paralized for fear of being rejected before posting a joke or a witty comeback. "Alcohol! Only joking. I guess it's to remember that fear of rejection never got anyone anywhere," Ariane quipped and then pointed out that we have to focus on what our end goals really are. "All the comics you admire have overcome fear of rejection. So do you want to make people laugh or not?"

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Comebacks, from cool and clever to lame and drab, are nothing new to us. Previously, I’d also spoken with comedian Ariane about the art of the comeback, as she's an insider in the world of comedy, timing, and shutting down hecklers.

Speed, according to Ariane, is where the essence of comebacks lies. Without it, our attempts at humor can fall flat. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put "decent people" instead of women. It still works, but it is more accurate and inclusive.

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Ben Moss
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus f*****g christ what idiot still doesnt understand that vaccines STRENGTHEN the immune system? Who honestly thinks that training your army makes it weaker?

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Alan Green
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

kat: So vaccines don't strengthen your immune system. They just makes you produce more antibodies that you didn't have before? That sure sounds like strengthening to me.

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Technically vaccines do cause more problems than they are supposed to prevent. Because they prevent death, and the longer you live, the more problems you'll encounter.

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A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol, after reading half your comment, I thought "why tf is this being upvoted?" - well done, mate :D

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Coleen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And yes, don't forget to eat organic. Get your daily dose of lead, strychnine and arsenic because organic always means it's good for you.

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lara
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Organic foods"? Nah I'm going with the factory produced fresh veggies and fruits.

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lakitha tolbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really tho'! All vaccinations are doing is training your body to recognize a threat when it enters your system. People really do not understand what these are for...

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Kat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing wrong in eating healthy and boosting your immune system naturally as well... Getting a vaccine against some diseases doesn't mean that you can't still get everything else you're not vaccinated against.

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F. H.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can't "boost" your immune system. You can prevent it from not functioning normally, but you can't make it work better by choosing a special diet or training. That said, to make it funtion normally, exercise and a healthy diet are required.

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Luna Lovegood for Justice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What do you think a gym is for? It is for training your body by doing a "weaker" exercise. For example, if you were training to run a marathon you would run a 1/4 marathon, then a 1/3 marathon, and so on. That way I will be strong enough to run the marathon.

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Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work vaccination into Bumble conversation before deciding if I'd meet up, so I can flyer out anti vaxxer lol

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Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Filter out* (my fingers need to keep up with my brain, or the other way around?)

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Eric Lafleur
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please stop hiding moron's names when they post stupid comments.

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Janet Graham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmm, I do all those things to stay healthy. I also get vaxed because it is the best thing for me.

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to explain it like this: Your immune system has loads of generic antibodies. Think of them as locks. Vaccines provide the key to unlocking antibodies so they can fight specific diseases. Without the key, the lock is useless.

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Dynein
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh, inaccurate. "Generic antibody" is especially weird. The immune system can produce tons of _random_ antibodies - the question is always, which of them works against a specific pathogen? There's a feedback system for figuring out which of them actually succeed in fighting the pathogen. Those that work are then produced in high numbers and memorized for when that pathogen is encountered again. However, it takes some time to figure out which antibodies work and crank up their production. If the disease is harmless, no harm done - but of the disease is dangerous, you are losing valuable time! Vaccines function as a harmless trial run - your body fights it like the real disease, but the time lost until finding the working antibodies doesn't matter.

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ThePracticalSarcastic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

um....they also didnt have public sanitation, garbage collection, or know much about disease transmission...not an apples to apples comparison by a long shot.

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soni w
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2 years ago

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You are educated. That's not allowed here, it doesn't fit with most people's view that vaccines solved the world's disease problem. Sanitation had everything to do with eradicating diseases that are spread by faecal matter. It's the reason eradication doesn't happen in countries without sanitation even with vaccines.

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soni w
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2 years ago

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Yeah but missing sanitation. Vaxxers always have a stupid comeback without intelligence, just mimic mimic, mimic. Vaccines still fail where there is poor sanitation and no clean water. Typical comment from entitled people with water and flushing toilets and good food.

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M M
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2 years ago

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Only 1/3 of infected die of smallpox.

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H Edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nobody dies of smallpox, because we eradicated it with (guess what?) vaccines. Also, a 1 in 3 death rate for any condition is massive.

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Emerald
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2 years ago

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Actually, everyone died of smallpox in the dark ages when humans introduced grains to their digestive systems when they weren't supposed to be there because humans do not have gizzards, the organ that aids the digestive system in processing the grains, and everyone got sick because they were poisoning themselves. Look into it. Its science.

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Dynein
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, what? Smallpox is caused by a virus, that's completely different from poisoning. And a gizzard just grinds food, similar function as teeth. Helps to break down tougher matter, doesn't have to do anything with the ability to digest certain molecule (which would be behind getting poisoned).

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However, unlike us mere mortals, most stand-up comics actually come prepared. They’ve got an entire repertoire of comebacks at the ready, just in case they need to shut down a heckler or fire off a rapid put-down or two. What’s more, comedians tend to share these comebacks with one another.

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Lisa
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know the bible never mentions the word, "Apple." Early Christian art depicted it as a fig. They believe Apple came into play because when translated "malum" means evil and "malus" is apple.

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“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," Ariane gave us an insight into the giggle industry.

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Ariane highlighted the fact that you grow your emotional resilience with experience as a comedian. Over time, you get better at delivering comebacks and how quickly you can do so. “You don't want to give them the chance to reject you—you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!" she said about the dynamic between the performer and the audience if the latter’s feeling a tad cheeky and wants to have a go at ruining the show.

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CatWoman312
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate how you can’t comment on people down arrowed. Anyway, to the sexist guys who only seem to care about embryos not actual living babies “no uterus, no opinion”

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Sum Guy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think we have peaked with this comeback... I don't see a better one coming up

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cybermerlin2000
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They found men who wore a mask were better than those who didn't because no woman wants to go near someone with a high risk of carrying COVID-19

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If you feel like you’re not up to snuff, you really should draw on others for inspiration when it comes to good comedy. Whether it’s reading through tons of screenshots of clever comebacks that you find on the net or watching reruns of your favorite comedians (both are great).

However, British comedy pro Ariane pointed out that you shouldn’t be stealing original stand-up material for your own shows. It’s fine if you’re doing it to impress your friends, but there’s a certain code of honor that pops up when you start earning money for your jokes.

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Mark Schilling
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's a radical thought: maybe being concerned for the greater good is beneficial for the individual. We live in a society, not in isolated cells.

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Ariane told Bored Panda something that most people know but few voice aloud: it’s very clear to everybody when a comeback is good and when it’s so bad, you’ll be remembering it and cringing for years. We instinctively know what’s quality and what’s best left on the dusty lower shelf in the joke store.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He could have also used $30 million to built houses to fight homelessness.

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Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

“It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” the stand-up comedian listed all the things that a comeback needs in order to grab our attention and make us laugh.