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This Twitter Page Documents Only The Most Savage Yet Also Clever Comebacks, And Here’re 30 Of The Best Ones
Crafting a snappy and witty comeback that’ll grab everyone’s attention is no easy feat. However, all that effort and comedic instinct are worth it—if it’s on the internet, it might just live on in the digital hall of fame in screenshot form. Who knows, you might see peeps sharing your comeback for years and years. Ego boost? Yes, please!
One place where these legendary testaments to people’s wit are documented is the ‘Clever Comebacks’ page on Twitter. Having been founded just a few short months ago, in February, it’s grown to have nearly 67k followers since then.
We’ve collected the crème de la crème of clever comebacks for you to enjoy, dear Pandas, so go on and have a look at them below. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to greatness the next time you need a snappy one-liner. Don’t forget to upvote the ones you enjoyed the most and let us know what the very best comeback you’ve ever said or written was in the comments.
I reached out to British musical stand-up comedian and comedy writer Ariane Sherine to talk to her about comebacks, the role that courage plays in comedy, and how we can overcome our fear of being judged whether on-stage or on-screen. Have a read below for Bored Panda's interview with the humor expert.
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"Courage is hugely important," British comedian Ariane told Bored Panda about its role in comedy. "The more courageous you are, the more you'll shed your inhibitions and the greater the chance that you'll say something shocking and funny."
According to the comedy expert, the element of surprise is "essential" to comedy. And more often than not, "there's an edge or a hint of cruelty" in most jokes and comebacks. "If you're timid and careful, then you're probably not going to want to offend people with comebacks and will be polite rather than witty," she said.
The anonymity that the internet and social media provide can be a double edged sword: it can help people feel freer because they'll take criticism less personally, but it can also empower bullies to spew hatred. Comedian Ariane agreed that anonymity is a tool and everything depends on how we use it.
"We feel freer to say things we wouldn't say in real life, but that also means we're more likely to be hurtful. I think the same is true of being on stage for comics—when we're holding the mic we feel free to dispense with niceties," she gave us her take on the relationship between anonymity, honesty, and comedy.
True ,but: If EVERYONE changes EVERYTHING (no meat, not 30% less, no car, plane, train, no heat....) that would still be only 29% according to this source. Oxfam on the other hand published a study that claims that the 1% richest individuals are responsible for double the CO2 than the poorest 50%. So... most people can reduce CO2 all they want.. the richest 1% will still screw us all
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All 100 of those corporations are involved in petrol, energy or mining. Are they polluting for the hell of it, or because of consumer demand? Of course it's much more nuanced than simply a "moral failing on the part of individuals", but consumers must shoulder the blame to some degree. Less consumption + more renewables = less pollution
They would not produce it if people did not buy it. Sometimes, you have to take your responsibilities instead of always blaming everyone else.
Also we can make laws and restrictions to those producers in order they pay what they are doing.
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The corporations, however greedy they are, do provide for consumption by those individuals who feel no guilt. Grow up to assume responsibility, Adam.
(In a reply to sometime else) You apparently don't know that a lot of those companies purposefully lobbied against/paid money to restrict/kill more efficient/environmental options.
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But how much of an impact will 'your part' have? It's not just the top 100 corps. It's all corporations, the super-rich, governments. If all the individual consumers made those three changes, would it reduce emissions by 1%, or even a 10th of 1%? And it's all very well to say vote with your money, but the research burden is huge, and the invisibilty of business-to-business supply chains mean that it's often impossible to see the true cost. We need legislation, taxation, and carbon and emissions permits. Yes, the cost gets passed on to consumers, but it allows us to make rational decisions as individuals and as a society. "Oh, so the true cost to the environment of an international flight is £3,000 per seat, not £300? welp, let's skip that meeting." "Oh, so electricity generated by solar and wind now costs one-tenth as much as electricity from that coalburning power station? Guess we don't need that station anymore."
I agree with everything you said except for the impact of individual consumers. If all individuals made those changes then yes, it would have a very big impact. Those corporations are polluting because of consumer demand. For example, according to the UN's Food and Agriculture Organization, meat (excluding seafood) and dairy production = 14.5% of greenhouse emissions. If everyone makes that change, boom, a substantial drop in emissions, not "a 10th of 1%". Automobile travel = 15% of greenhouse emissions. If everyone used there car half as much, for example, that's a 7.5% reduction in global greenhouse emissions, even more so if switching to electric vehicles. Smart thermostats will also have an impact to some degree, but switching to renewables as you mentioned more-so.
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We're technically still in an ice age. Ice caps on the poles indicate ice ages. Total global freezes are called glaciations.
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Like everything else, what and how much you can do is often (if not always) determined by your resources. If you ain't got the money, you can't do what the 'haves' say you should.
Good One! I want to know which companies, how they produce the emissions, and what products they sell. I still think most of it comes from the hot air being spewed in Washington, DC.
This argument is dumb. Consumers are what drives corporations. Less consumers = less consumption. Stop popping out kids and adopt them instead.
News item does not state it is the individuals fault. Only states how the individual can contribute to the solution. No journalistic malpractice happening here, just someone being triggered due to his own interpretation bias.
Talk to China! They are the Biggest polluters and refuse to do ANYTHING to stop it!
So I can tell you I tried this for over a decade. Are things better now?
say it louder for the people in the back who are made to feel bad about their necessary plastic straw usage when they have an infinitely microscopic impact on the environment
Well, first of all, large corp are manufacturing goods for customers, so in the end that is up to everyone to take care anyway
-At least 30% of my meat intake is wild game. I prefer deer to beef -There are no buses, or passenger trains, within 50 miles of my town. I live in America; our transit system sucks. -I've had a digital, programmable thermostat in my home for almost 20 years. I installed it to save money. -I upcycle, recycle, but local, compost, garden, and all that stuff. Mostly to save money. -My cousin still tries to make me feel guilty for not buying a hybrid; which I can't afford. Apparently, I don't care enough about climate change.
Learn about fruit and vegetables. That much meat is gonna kill ya
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In reply to "Something" - Umm, prepare to have your mind blown: you can eat more than one slice of cake.
Bored Panda was also intrigued to find out how best not to freeze up when you're going on-stage as a comedian or if we're paralized for fear of being rejected before posting a joke or a witty comeback. "Alcohol! Only joking. I guess it's to remember that fear of rejection never got anyone anywhere," Ariane quipped and then pointed out that we have to focus on what our end goals really are. "All the comics you admire have overcome fear of rejection. So do you want to make people laugh or not?"
Comebacks, from cool and clever to lame and drab, are nothing new to us. Previously, I’d also spoken with comedian Ariane about the art of the comeback, as she's an insider in the world of comedy, timing, and shutting down hecklers.
Speed, according to Ariane, is where the essence of comebacks lies. Without it, our attempts at humor can fall flat. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.
Put "decent people" instead of women. It still works, but it is more accurate and inclusive.
However, unlike us mere mortals, most stand-up comics actually come prepared. They’ve got an entire repertoire of comebacks at the ready, just in case they need to shut down a heckler or fire off a rapid put-down or two. What’s more, comedians tend to share these comebacks with one another.
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," Ariane gave us an insight into the giggle industry.
Ariane highlighted the fact that you grow your emotional resilience with experience as a comedian. Over time, you get better at delivering comebacks and how quickly you can do so. “You don't want to give them the chance to reject you—you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!" she said about the dynamic between the performer and the audience if the latter’s feeling a tad cheeky and wants to have a go at ruining the show.
I hate how you can’t comment on people down arrowed. Anyway, to the sexist guys who only seem to care about embryos not actual living babies “no uterus, no opinion”
They found men who wore a mask were better than those who didn't because no woman wants to go near someone with a high risk of carrying COVID-19
If you feel like you’re not up to snuff, you really should draw on others for inspiration when it comes to good comedy. Whether it’s reading through tons of screenshots of clever comebacks that you find on the net or watching reruns of your favorite comedians (both are great).
However, British comedy pro Ariane pointed out that you shouldn’t be stealing original stand-up material for your own shows. It’s fine if you’re doing it to impress your friends, but there’s a certain code of honor that pops up when you start earning money for your jokes.
Here's a radical thought: maybe being concerned for the greater good is beneficial for the individual. We live in a society, not in isolated cells.
Ariane told Bored Panda something that most people know but few voice aloud: it’s very clear to everybody when a comeback is good and when it’s so bad, you’ll be remembering it and cringing for years. We instinctively know what’s quality and what’s best left on the dusty lower shelf in the joke store.
He could have also used $30 million to built houses to fight homelessness.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
“It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” the stand-up comedian listed all the things that a comeback needs in order to grab our attention and make us laugh.
I am grateful that BP reposts from Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit, because I don't spend time on those apps.
All I gotta say is that there are a lot of trolls on the internet and the best way to deal with them is to not give them any attention at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But it's more fun of you do give them attention
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Ok so me and my sis were on the bus yesterday and some dumbass boys were hung annoying. So anyways one of them tells her "I bet your dad spends more money on milk than you!" And she just ignored him and he said "Aww, are you gonna cry?" And she whips around with the biggest smile and says "At least my dad came home with the milk" IT WAS THE BEST COMEBACK EVER
Ok so the point of the original joke the boys were trying to make was following the story of like a dad going to get milk and never coming back, just their own dumb version of it
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Ok, funny article, but does anyone else find when they click the upvote button they get a pop up to another website? it's super annoying.
Use uBlock origin as an addon in your browserand you won't get ad popups.
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This is just a forum for one guys posts. Don't veil it, just call it "an account i like"
I found this gem... probably no one looks down here but i thought it was a good comment >:D Screen-Sho...01-png.jpg 
I'm on 240% magnification, and I still can't see that.
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I am grateful that BP reposts from Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit, because I don't spend time on those apps.
All I gotta say is that there are a lot of trolls on the internet and the best way to deal with them is to not give them any attention at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But it's more fun of you do give them attention
Load More Replies... Ok so me and my sis were on the bus yesterday and some dumbass boys were hung annoying. So anyways one of them tells her "I bet your dad spends more money on milk than you!" And she just ignored him and he said "Aww, are you gonna cry?" And she whips around with the biggest smile and says "At least my dad came home with the milk" IT WAS THE BEST COMEBACK EVER
Ok so the point of the original joke the boys were trying to make was following the story of like a dad going to get milk and never coming back, just their own dumb version of it
Load More Replies... Ok, funny article, but does anyone else find when they click the upvote button they get a pop up to another website? it's super annoying.
Use uBlock origin as an addon in your browserand you won't get ad popups.
Load More Replies... This is just a forum for one guys posts. Don't veil it, just call it "an account i like"
I found this gem... probably no one looks down here but i thought it was a good comment >:D Screen-Sho...01-png.jpg
I'm on 240% magnification, and I still can't see that.
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