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This Twitter Page Documents Only The Most Savage Yet Also Clever Comebacks, And Here’re 30 Of The Best Ones
Crafting a snappy and witty comeback that’ll grab everyone’s attention is no easy feat. However, all that effort and comedic instinct are worth it—if it’s on the internet, it might just live on in the digital hall of fame in screenshot form. Who knows, you might see peeps sharing your comeback for years and years. Ego boost? Yes, please!
One place where these legendary testaments to people’s wit are documented is the ‘Clever Comebacks’ page on Twitter. Having been founded just a few short months ago, in February, it’s grown to have nearly 67k followers since then.
We’ve collected the crème de la crème of clever comebacks for you to enjoy, dear Pandas, so go on and have a look at them below. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to greatness the next time you need a snappy one-liner. Don’t forget to upvote the ones you enjoyed the most and let us know what the very best comeback you’ve ever said or written was in the comments.
I reached out to British musical stand-up comedian and comedy writer Ariane Sherine to talk to her about comebacks, the role that courage plays in comedy, and how we can overcome our fear of being judged whether on-stage or on-screen. Have a read below for Bored Panda's interview with the humor expert.
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"Courage is hugely important," British comedian Ariane told Bored Panda about its role in comedy. "The more courageous you are, the more you'll shed your inhibitions and the greater the chance that you'll say something shocking and funny."
According to the comedy expert, the element of surprise is "essential" to comedy. And more often than not, "there's an edge or a hint of cruelty" in most jokes and comebacks. "If you're timid and careful, then you're probably not going to want to offend people with comebacks and will be polite rather than witty," she said.
The anonymity that the internet and social media provide can be a double edged sword: it can help people feel freer because they'll take criticism less personally, but it can also empower bullies to spew hatred. Comedian Ariane agreed that anonymity is a tool and everything depends on how we use it.
"We feel freer to say things we wouldn't say in real life, but that also means we're more likely to be hurtful. I think the same is true of being on stage for comics—when we're holding the mic we feel free to dispense with niceties," she gave us her take on the relationship between anonymity, honesty, and comedy.
In reply to "Something" - Umm, prepare to have your mind blown: you can eat more than one slice of cake.
Bored Panda was also intrigued to find out how best not to freeze up when you're going on-stage as a comedian or if we're paralized for fear of being rejected before posting a joke or a witty comeback. "Alcohol! Only joking. I guess it's to remember that fear of rejection never got anyone anywhere," Ariane quipped and then pointed out that we have to focus on what our end goals really are. "All the comics you admire have overcome fear of rejection. So do you want to make people laugh or not?"
Comebacks, from cool and clever to lame and drab, are nothing new to us. Previously, I’d also spoken with comedian Ariane about the art of the comeback, as she's an insider in the world of comedy, timing, and shutting down hecklers.
Speed, according to Ariane, is where the essence of comebacks lies. Without it, our attempts at humor can fall flat. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.
Put "decent people" instead of women. It still works, but it is more accurate and inclusive.
However, unlike us mere mortals, most stand-up comics actually come prepared. They’ve got an entire repertoire of comebacks at the ready, just in case they need to shut down a heckler or fire off a rapid put-down or two. What’s more, comedians tend to share these comebacks with one another.
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," Ariane gave us an insight into the giggle industry.
Ariane highlighted the fact that you grow your emotional resilience with experience as a comedian. Over time, you get better at delivering comebacks and how quickly you can do so. “You don't want to give them the chance to reject you—you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!" she said about the dynamic between the performer and the audience if the latter’s feeling a tad cheeky and wants to have a go at ruining the show.
I hate how you can’t comment on people down arrowed. Anyway, to the sexist guys who only seem to care about embryos not actual living babies “no uterus, no opinion”
Yeah that's a pet peeve of mine too (the lack of reply function, that is). They also often disappear so I have no idea who you're referring to. Yours is the only comment I'm seeing.
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Existing human beings have rights. You cannot force women to give up their rights for a collection of cells that might, if everything goes exactly right, become a human being. If you do force women, and they die from pregnancy or delivery complications, then you've committed murder.
Or after accidentally getting pregnant from amazing sex. It doesn’t matter why we get pregnant. Just that we shouldn’t be forced to keep the pregnancy.
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Listen I am pro choice, abortion is only legal in the first 12 weeks (I think) and at that stage the fetus has just started developing and has no thoughts or emotions. It is just a cluster of cells and terminating it inst actually causing it any harm and might be saving it from a difficult future.
Be aware that Ryan Deschanel is a terrible person who should have been aborted to the benefit of everyone :)
No contraceptive is a 100% functional, not the Pill, not IUD’s, certainly not condoms. And trying to forbid sexual intercourse/abstinense never worked either. And no-one uses abortion as a contraceptive, no one.
Cheri Aline Sydney is such a troll. People can make a choice depending on what THEY want
If it's too underdeveloped to to survive outside the womb (or NICU), it is not a human. (Yes yes, there are babies that are stillborn and they and all the other children who die because of a disease etc do not fit in to this gategory) Your body your choice.
It’s a human. It just doesn’t have the right to another human’s body. It isn’t a cat or dog obviously. Who cares if it’s a human. It doesn’t have the right to our bodies
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No uterus = no decisional power. You may have emotions, but NO CONTROL over a life-altering event that makes no demands on your body. And no, ejaculation does not count as a demand.
Pro-Life and Pro-Choice can be compatible if the choice is keeping the baby or adopting. Or the choice is birth control or not. But the choice should never be like something out of the Roman Coliseum; Life or Death of the child.
If nothing else, it's a good example of how the Right has rebranded Left sentiments. They teach that pro-choice somehow means pro-actively-pushing-people-to-have-abortions. This kind of thing happens all the time. The GDR (German Democratic Republic, aka East Germany) was neither democratic nor a republic. And every anti-LGBTQIA group in America finds a way to wedge "family", "Christian", and "freedom" into their name no matter what the heck they represent because they want you to think that gay people wanting to get married and adopt or have kids (you know, a family) are trying to destroy families.
By that "comeback", isn't everything then pro-choice? The choice to HAVE the baby, the choice to NOT HAVE the baby?
Noone likes the actual information, the real deal. You get shot down for making informed choices if they don't match up to what the majority has been brainwashed to believe. Whether that's racism, abortion, sexuality, vaccination, etc. There is no going against the norm if he norm is uneducated and indoctrinated. Let's have a discussion about abortion among sheltered die hard Christians - yep, that will never happen.
Mario Elia, your saying a woman that wanted an abortion, but should wait for the babies opinion, should give birth and just leave it where it lays. The baby in your story obviously can take care of it's self. You don't know much about babies.
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Can't decide when it hasn't formed a brain or mouth to let you know ....
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You mean anti choice. Everyone is pro life.
Load More Replies... So a woman who doesn't take precautions because she's single and has no need for it but gets raped, should just go with the flow and have the baby... You're not for women choosing for themselves, you're for controlling what choices women should have. Just like any other Greedy Old Pervert.
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They found men who wore a mask were better than those who didn't because no woman wants to go near someone with a high risk of carrying COVID-19
If you feel like you’re not up to snuff, you really should draw on others for inspiration when it comes to good comedy. Whether it’s reading through tons of screenshots of clever comebacks that you find on the net or watching reruns of your favorite comedians (both are great).
However, British comedy pro Ariane pointed out that you shouldn’t be stealing original stand-up material for your own shows. It’s fine if you’re doing it to impress your friends, but there’s a certain code of honor that pops up when you start earning money for your jokes.
Here's a radical thought: maybe being concerned for the greater good is beneficial for the individual. We live in a society, not in isolated cells.
Ariane told Bored Panda something that most people know but few voice aloud: it’s very clear to everybody when a comeback is good and when it’s so bad, you’ll be remembering it and cringing for years. We instinctively know what’s quality and what’s best left on the dusty lower shelf in the joke store.
He could have also used $30 million to built houses to fight homelessness.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
“It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” the stand-up comedian listed all the things that a comeback needs in order to grab our attention and make us laugh.
I am grateful that BP reposts from Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit, because I don't spend time on those apps.
All I gotta say is that there are a lot of trolls on the internet and the best way to deal with them is to not give them any attention at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But it's more fun of you do give them attention
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Ok so me and my sis were on the bus yesterday and some dumbass boys were hung annoying. So anyways one of them tells her "I bet your dad spends more money on milk than you!" And she just ignored him and he said "Aww, are you gonna cry?" And she whips around with the biggest smile and says "At least my dad came home with the milk" IT WAS THE BEST COMEBACK EVER
Ok so the point of the original joke the boys were trying to make was following the story of like a dad going to get milk and never coming back, just their own dumb version of it
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Ok, funny article, but does anyone else find when they click the upvote button they get a pop up to another website? it's super annoying.
Use uBlock origin as an addon in your browserand you won't get ad popups.
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This is just a forum for one guys posts. Don't veil it, just call it "an account i like"
I found this gem... probably no one looks down here but i thought it was a good comment >:D Screen-Sho...01-png.jpg 
I'm on 240% magnification, and I still can't see that.
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I am grateful that BP reposts from Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit, because I don't spend time on those apps.
All I gotta say is that there are a lot of trolls on the internet and the best way to deal with them is to not give them any attention at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But it's more fun of you do give them attention
Load More Replies... Ok so me and my sis were on the bus yesterday and some dumbass boys were hung annoying. So anyways one of them tells her "I bet your dad spends more money on milk than you!" And she just ignored him and he said "Aww, are you gonna cry?" And she whips around with the biggest smile and says "At least my dad came home with the milk" IT WAS THE BEST COMEBACK EVER
Ok so the point of the original joke the boys were trying to make was following the story of like a dad going to get milk and never coming back, just their own dumb version of it
Load More Replies... Ok, funny article, but does anyone else find when they click the upvote button they get a pop up to another website? it's super annoying.
Use uBlock origin as an addon in your browserand you won't get ad popups.
Load More Replies... This is just a forum for one guys posts. Don't veil it, just call it "an account i like"
I found this gem... probably no one looks down here but i thought it was a good comment >:D Screen-Sho...01-png.jpg
I'm on 240% magnification, and I still can't see that.
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