Have you ever thought of the best comeback only after it was too late? Right before bed, while taking a shower or standing in an elevator, you get your light-bulb moment: “Ahh, why didn't I think of it before?” The French even came up with a term for that, l'esprit de l'escalier—the spirit of the staircase—and it means that the perfect retort arises only when it doesn't matter anymore.
However, this does not apply to everyone. A select few have the superpower of coming up with snappy one-liners on the spot, and the r/CleverComebacks subreddit is the site to go for these legendary comments. As the moderators put it, “If someone just got shown up, this is the place to post it.“
So make sure to scroll down and upvote your favorite retorts! And if you can't get enough of snappy comebacks, make sure to check out Bored Panda's previous posts here, here and here.
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He Was Asking For It!
If you'd like to share a post on the “Clever Comebacks“ subreddit page, there's a few rules you need to follow. Firstly, you should know what a witty comment is. According to the moderators, it's “responses to someone that, for lack of a better word, roasts them.” Also, baseless insults, tasteless jokes, “no, u” style replies are what they call garbage content, and nobody likes them.
When you think about it, the only obvious goal when trying to think of a snappy comeback is to get a good laugh and share your original thought. And the same applies to real-life situations. If you hate those awkward moments when your friends or coworkers throw you a snide comment and everything that comes to your mind just sounds lame, don't worry. In real life, not many people can be as clever as Dr. House or Chandler Bing, but there's a few ways you can improve your reactions and become wittier.
Bless This Woman
One of the things that could make you better is the world of improv acting. When it comes to showing your wit, timing is everything. The reply should be as spontaneous as the words that took you by surprise. One way of improving would be to become a better active listener. As Abigail Paul, workshop facilitator and training developer, told the BBC, “people think faster than others speak, giving the listener “extra time“ to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.”
Come to think of it, there have been many times when we already wanted to share an idea with the person who's not yet finished talking. “Most of us don't listen to the whole message,” Paul said, “we are just waiting to make our own points.” So if you want to whip out snappy remarks, you should actively listen to what the other person is saying and use the unexpected material she or he gave you.
Not Be A Baby Machine
This Always Makes Me Laugh
Sometimes, when we receive a biting remark, we might feel offended. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, said that negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity. So when it comes to your coworker who constantly tosses you rude remarks, remember that responding positively might ease the pressure and keep projects going smoothly. ”Positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one,” Raffy said.
It Was Social Distancing Haha
Clearly this person got their prehistoric knowledge from watching The Flintstones.
They Don't Give A Damn
Can I interest you in some fairtrade organic aloe for that... BURN?!?!?!
Another great tip would be silencing your inner critic: “It’s about letting go of the need to judge ourselves,” Raffy explains. You should try saying what's on your mind without thinking about it. In improv theater, actors try to let go of their inner voice and give in to their “deepest fantasies” in order to say something spontaneous that they would never say in real life.
German History Lesson
- printing press - light bulb - telephone - tape recorder - turntable - mp3 - tv - first freely programmable computer - generator - automobile - jet engine - helicopter - jeans - toothpaste - periodic table of elements - theory of relativity - x-rays - nuclear fission - bacteriology - aspirin Just to name a few.
Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love
Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy
Let's not forget the brands that make clever comebacks a key part of their communication with customers. One obvious example is the fast-food chain Wendy's and their made-up social media holiday—National Roast Day. Their communications team does not hold back when it comes to witty replies in their social channels. The question is, do the customers actually value it?
That's A Good Proof
Got Roasted By A Police Twitter
A survey by Sprout Social suggests that such responses are actually not appreciated by customers. Brand personality should connect your product to its consumers but as it turns out, that's not always the case. Sprout surveyed 1,000 consumers on which traits they want brands to share on social media and what action behaviors like humor or friendliness cause.
It Is Funny But True
Yep May Be It Is True
It's not illegal to seek asylum. Also, documented immigrants have lower rates of committing violent, property, or drug crimes than native-born citizens. Undocumented immigrants have rates even lower than them. The anti-immigrant, xenophobic fear-mongering that happens here is ridiculous and repulsive. Here's the research if anyone needs to educate friends or family: https://www.pnas.org/content/117/51/32340
Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It
do you think Jeff has anymore d*** rockets? I need to get off this planet, permanently
It seems that “three-quarters of consumers surveyed believe there’s value in brands exhibiting humor on social but only one-third actually want brands to bring on the snark full force.” The majority of consumers buy from brands that are honest, helpful and friendly. “It turns out that at the end of the day, consumers want brands to use social as a customer care channel”, Sprout explains. So while this kind of risky brand personality offers you a great deal of exposure, it seems that it's actually bad for business.
Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic
Simple Math To Hard
Lastly, for a clever comeback to be considered great, it has to be honest. "The best retorts speak truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," said Paul. "That's generally what makes us laugh." So if you think of a clever comeback that's piercingly accurate and say it right there on the spot, you feel absolutely great because you know that you've earned it.
True Perfection Has Been Achieved
Old But Gold
Congratulations to Australia for deporting her when she acted like a brat about quarantining.
Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours
I Swear It Was On
Jesus Statues vs. Police State
Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback
Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping
Would You Like Some Whine With That?
F*cking Sheep
English Unchanged
He Makes A Good Point
Don't worry, soon his negative comments will be all over this post.
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Most abortions occur during the embryonic stage of development, so even less debate potential.
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Not babies more like blood clots No one is killing babies but conservatives poor totally against feeding them and or giving them health care
Since I can't reply to mckenna kelly below I'll do it here. Abortion isn't about 'killing'. It's about bodily autonomy. Let's say kelly has a kid and they beat that kid so severely that the liver is destroyed. Kid is absolutely going to die without a transplant. And let's further posit that kelly is a perfect match -- nobody can force them to donate to that kid. Kelly can be tried and imprisoned, but not forced to give up their bodily autonomy. For a kid who is definitely alive and was doing just fine until their liver got destroyed.
And if Kelly commits suicide in their cell, their liver cannot be removed and transplanted into that poor kid without permission. Dead bodies have more rights that women in anti-abortion societies. Anti-abortionists want to force women to act as incubators for fetuses, regardless of how that fetus got there, or the effects it may have on the health of the woman.
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Because of a failing education people do not know the difference between a fetus and a baby. That's why they keep insisting that "abortion is killing babies".
I had a miscarriage that wouldn’t abort the fetus for 6 weeks and had to go in for an abortion. If I didn’t get it done it would have killed me.
Notice absolutely ZERO mention of the already viable life, the pregnant women carrying those 600,000 “babies”—-which are actually non-viable fetuses at the point when an abortion takes place.
It's HIGHLY inconvenient to Republicans that Democrats are far better at reducing abortion. Like, it's not even close. It's like - maybe - they care about something OTHER than "the babies"... 🔴Reagan: +5.7% 🔴Bush Sr.: -0.9% 🔵Clinton: -36.9% (!) 🔴Bush Jr.: -3.7% 🔵Obama: -24.5% (!) 🔴Trump: -5.3% Republican presidents oversaw an INCREASE in abortion totaling +158,000. Democratic presidents oversaw a DECREASE in abortions totaling -3,094,000
it's sad that people like this exist. I'm in sixth grade and sit next to a girl in my language arts class, and she and another girl at my table got into a fight about this. :(
On the surface, banning abortion is good. But if you look deeper into the rapists and people who can barely afford keeping themselves alive... I would rather not have the baby be born than to have the baby be born into suffering.
This is one of my favorite come backs of all time. I'm not talking about the politics involved ... it's just hilarious that he said he'd easily win a debate with 600,000 babies . I want to know what they said after that , or did this shut them down lol
Jesus told you to pray in your closet, to not pray in the open like a hypocrite. Matthew 6:5-7
Could we discuss abortion without gaslighting all us who miscarried? It is truly hurtful to read that our lost babies is just "clump of cells" or "blodclots" . It is a very short time a embryo is that shapeless. I have stood with my little ten week baby in my hands and counted all fingers and toe before laying them to rest. We can have abortions and still dont deny the pain and grief for all us who miscarries.
Idk why people downvoted this when your pain is visible. I am truly sorry and i send you happiness and love
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This one has been posted a thousand times but I don’t care, it’s the best.
Obviously, stupidity from a guy. An abortion takes 2 mins~~try reading about one. Cells die~~at 3 mos, no one but 1D10Ts call a clump of cells 'babies.'
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If the baby was forced upon you. and would be a burden why would you want to let it live a horrible life?
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Ah yes, let's manipulate women into giving birth. That's not wrong at all 🙃
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Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create
I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"
One For The Burn Ward
Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down
Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?
Nasa Is Untrustworthy
It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho
The Real Deal
even if he stays out of the emergency room (which he should) he'll still impact others, either by transmitting the disease to the vulnerable or to spread misinformation.
She Seems So Dumb
I'll pay 38 dollars for a burrito if it means someone is able to pay their bills
Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here
why is there such a big obsession with the military, I mean killing others or getting yourself killed is hardly a good thing
I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing
Look I Made A Joke
you can't spell stupid without u, except this probably isn't a coincidence
Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?
In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”
It Works Both Ways!
honestly pack your bags and leave, save your husband the trouble
He Wants The Ring Please
Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses
Getting Schooled
how do people who barely managed a high school degree get into parliament?
Fake Incest Go!
State Representative Got Owned!
It disgusts me to my core when adults use children to further their political or personal ideology.
We Need No Masks Because Viruses Are Not Real
I hope she always uses either abstinence or D*ck masks to avoid reproduction.
Not Sure If This Has Been Posted Here Yet, Sorry If It Has Been
I don't understand how forcing existing characters to be queer is a sign of inclusion. To me that's like making a Jane Bond and giving yourself a pat on the shoulder for being so inclusive.
Note: this post originally had 88 images. It’s been shortened to the top 51 images based on user votes.
At least not all people are terrible. You seem pretty chill.
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This is like a rollercoaster ride. As my faith in humanity gets eroded away by the amount of idiocy on display, I am also thoroughly entertained by the burns that followed and hence replenished enough of said lost faith.
I love a good clever comeback . What I don't love is social media articles aimed at scorning different sets of people , dividing them and causing fighting that has escalated beyond the phone or computer screen. When you talk down to people because they hold different beliefs than you , it's not a clever comeback ... it's being a jerk. Stop falling victim to social media click bait tactics . Start being kind to one another
Already seen most of those before on bored panda. Stop posting the same stuff just to write articles
In my opinion, communism has never actually been established. There have been many nations claiming to be communist (USSR, China, North Korea) but they never actually were. It is my thought that the only way it can actually be established is not by revolution and declaring a change of economy but rather the evolution of capitalism. Of course human greed will make this a very hard thing to do.
Nice try comrade. I guess the Nazis just didn't the whole nazism really right
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So f**k off and go and masturbate over Fox News then.
Load More Replies... At least not all people are terrible. You seem pretty chill.
Load More Replies... This is like a rollercoaster ride. As my faith in humanity gets eroded away by the amount of idiocy on display, I am also thoroughly entertained by the burns that followed and hence replenished enough of said lost faith.
I love a good clever comeback . What I don't love is social media articles aimed at scorning different sets of people , dividing them and causing fighting that has escalated beyond the phone or computer screen. When you talk down to people because they hold different beliefs than you , it's not a clever comeback ... it's being a jerk. Stop falling victim to social media click bait tactics . Start being kind to one another
Already seen most of those before on bored panda. Stop posting the same stuff just to write articles
In my opinion, communism has never actually been established. There have been many nations claiming to be communist (USSR, China, North Korea) but they never actually were. It is my thought that the only way it can actually be established is not by revolution and declaring a change of economy but rather the evolution of capitalism. Of course human greed will make this a very hard thing to do.
Nice try comrade. I guess the Nazis just didn't the whole nazism really right
Load More Replies... So f**k off and go and masturbate over Fox News then.
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