Tweet Criticizing Parents Who Raise Their Children As Miniature Versions Of Themselves Sparks A Discussion
Everyone has their opinions on having children. Some want a big family, with a gaggle of children running around the house. Others are more into a single-kid-parenting. Of course, there are those who get shudders just thinking about being a parent. However, no matter how many (or how little) kids you wish to have, you have certain preconceptions of what parenting should be.
Some aim for the strict approach, others aim to let their kids have their freedom. Yet no one seems to have the right way to do it. And it’s probably because a single way to raise a child doesn’t exist. All we can do is adapt and take pointers here and there to make it the best experience for both, the parent and the child.
One Tumblr user shared a tweet about parenting that gained attention and sparked a discussion, prompting people to post their experiences and opinions. Scroll down below to read what they had to say and don’t forget to tell us what you think in the comments.
One tweet about parenting was shared around on Tumblr
Image credits: australmx
The tweet quickly sparked a discussion on the platform, prompting people to share their experiences and opinions
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Kids should be allowed to express themselves in a safe and non-harming way. While my youngest was growing up we were not sure if she was going to be trans, gay, or straight. We allowed her to come to terms with who she is as a person and allow her to express her individuality as best as we could. She is still fighting with who she is, but she does know that she is loved and supported.
Non-judgemental support is the best thing you could have done for her, and it's what many more children need from their parents. And sadly, a lot don't get it.
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For the sake of being real: whether my child is liberal or conservative or a purple striped zebra- I may not agree with them, but so long as they go about their beliefs in a respectful way I will be proud. Not hurt at all. It's us adults who need to learn to get along with each other.
I know two die-hard conservatives who are intelligent, articulate, and respectful even while discussing politics. One of them is my father. (I also know a handful who are not.) But even though I disagree with some (not all) of these people's conclusions, I have complete respect for them because they are not bigotted; they have no interest in bringing other people down. I think as long as one can teach one's children to be respectful, we all win.
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Just makes me think of THIS BE THE VERSE by Philip Larkin. They f**k you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had and add some extra, just for you. But they were f****d up in their turn by fools in old-style hats and coats, who half the time were soppy-stern and half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man, it deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, and don’t have any kids yourself.
my mom still can't come to term that I'm still single and unmarried at 30+, because she wanted her only daughter to marry early and pop put 6 children a year apart like her. oh, no careers too, because home is where a woman should be, she said. I wish I could make her understand that though I love her, I do not accept her views and beliefs.
The harder you push your kid to do what you think they "should", the harder the pushback is going to be when it comes...and I do mean WHEN, not if.
sorry chaps - but however you bring your kids up, your parenting will have an effect on them - maybe good, maybe bad, probably a mixture as we're complicated and so are they. You can't parent neutrally, and we are all in part made by the environment and people around us growing up. So relax, do your best, and don't judge how others do it.
Children are people. Why a person who isn’t downright sad would mold their children into their (the parents’) selves is beyond me. How would they like it to have been shaped into the clone of their own mother and father. Our best bet is to try our best to teach our children right, but make it clear that they are what they are, and they don’t have to be the same. As for the political part mentioned, I myself would keep an open mind, and try to help my child see all angles. All in all, regarding passing on political beliefs, it’s dark territory to me. I was a Republican for a long time, but I grew out of that when I learned more. I had never been around very liberal family. That influenced me. I had to learn on my own (and I still may be wrong about some things! There’s so many things to take into consideration!) Basically, keep an open mind. Look through their point of view every so often. Let them be themselves. Show them them that they can!
I can't tell you how true this post is. I'm a person whose parents (mother, mainly) tried to mold me into a mini-her. It totally didn't work out. I was to supposed to like certain things, go into the profession that she worked in, etc. I was totally unsuited for the that profession. Now we are practically estranged. I talk to her a little bit, but not very much.
I had pretty liberal parents, partly because it was their nature and partly because nobody could exercise much control over me. I didn't direct any of our 4 kids except to say they weren't getting a free ride. Find what they wanted to do and become good at it, really good. Riding herd took a lot of patience and energy but they all learned.
It's impossible for a kid not to adopt similar traits to whoever raises them, but I've never known a kid who is basically a carbon copy. Having said that, it's not just parents/guardians who affect how kids develop. Friends, their parents, teachers, even celebrities, can form a significant part of a child's personality. I love my parents, but I always wanted to be like Jim Carrey. It didn't work out, but if I didn't get into his movies, I'd think Christmas cracker jokes were the epitome of comedy, like my younger brother. And I'm depressed enough.
A lot of parents f**k their kids up, they don't mean to, but they do.
I love getting matching outfits with my daughter (who is three!) but that is about it as far as her being a mini me, I grew up on hair metal but she likes pop type stuff right now (Jojo Siwa is her fav) so your darn right I jam Jojo in the car with her. As long as she is safe and happy I will support whatever she wants to do.
My mother has always wanted to be a doctor and she became one! Only after giving birth to my sister and I she couldn't continue to practice. Years later she is pressuring us to become a doctor to fulfill her dreams. My sister isn't sure if what she wants but I know I want to be a veterinarian not a doctor.
Fostering a healthy sense of self is good, but as a teacher, I have seen it taken to the opposite extreme. In group settings, children need to obey reasonable requests that they may not want to. As a parent, I can negotiate with my kid, and explain what’s happening to him. Imagine if a teacher did that. If I have 24 kids, make hundreds of requests a day, and teach 180 days a year, the math is mind-blowing. Even one non-complaint child steals hours, sometimes days of instructional time from his or her peers. I’ve taught some very disadvantaged kids who don’t have support at home, and they needed every minute with me to count. Self-management must include respect for authority (excepting abuse, of course).
Kids might look like their parents but they might act completely different like me and my mom
Sometimes it's not even the parents, the grandparents can do it too. My grandmother told me when I was 5 that I could not touch the piano at her house unless I took lessons. So I did. For 11 years. And hour of practice right after school 7 days a week, lessons on Friday at 4 pm. I wasn't allowed to do anything unless I had the newest song down pat. When I started rebelling about 9th grade it turned to bribery. She would pay me to practice and then guilt trip me if I didn't. Finally, when my graduation came she asked what I wanted and I said "I want to quit piano lessons." And she let me! I was so happy to be free and not have to tell my friends I can't hand out because I had lessons. I'll play every now and then but I'm still so happy that I can be my own person!
My parents wanted me to be smart and pretty. As it became clear that all the efforts put to make me so failed (I am fat with an unattractive face and on the low end of any type of intelligence spectrum), I was treated as a failure. They resorted to laughing at me, calling me names and ignoring me until I left to live elsewhere as a young adult. I think that making me ashamed of myself was another way to try to shape me as they wanted me to be. This was some years ago, and my father has since passed away, but my mother has been in a strange mood these past years: she now tries to be loving, complimenting me, etc. I want nothing to do with her other than the bare minimum. I will never feel adequate for this life. So think about it, as parents, and see what you really want...
On the contrary, based on your post I wouldn’t place you on the low end of the intelligence scale. I’m not sure if anyone else has told, but you’re parents were a******s, and you have every right to exclude your mother from you life! Finally, you are more than adequate for this life, in fact you are every bit as deserving as anyone else of a happy life. She’d your past and forge your own life! I hope you find happiness!
Load More Replies... My parents are mostly accepting of my sexuality, a little with my gender identity. They 'allow' me to be an atheist yet force their religion onto me and punish me if I try to be an individual. They'll do something nice for me only to use it as leverage in the future, as an excuse for them being emotionally manipulative. It's hard to love my parents, knowing that I'll never be able to fully trust them.
I agree that you should let your child grow up and become what they want. You can't change what they are, for instance forcing them to only play with certain toys won't affect their sexuality. It disgusts me to see parents trying to control their kids' lives.
Thank God that my parents allowed me to do anything I want as long as I'm not being a burden to someone else. And each time I failed, they always have my back but always make me remember the lesson that comes with the failure. But I've seen to many my peer that goes into something because of their parents coercion. In my country, Science major seen as somerhong that catapult you into success, while social will gove you something well, decent but mehh.. I see few of my friends that doesn't even have any skills to survive in Science major program being forced to adapt. But then they also regret the decision since they are being just so- so with it. Or never be able to do great on the subject. :It is sad really. :'(
Also, they will feel frustrated and unhappy the rest of their lives.
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Yeah, that's a no from me. You don't get to decide who your children will be. The whole point of the article went 400000 miles over your head
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Kids should be allowed to express themselves in a safe and non-harming way. While my youngest was growing up we were not sure if she was going to be trans, gay, or straight. We allowed her to come to terms with who she is as a person and allow her to express her individuality as best as we could. She is still fighting with who she is, but she does know that she is loved and supported.
Non-judgemental support is the best thing you could have done for her, and it's what many more children need from their parents. And sadly, a lot don't get it.
Load More Replies... For the sake of being real: whether my child is liberal or conservative or a purple striped zebra- I may not agree with them, but so long as they go about their beliefs in a respectful way I will be proud. Not hurt at all. It's us adults who need to learn to get along with each other.
I know two die-hard conservatives who are intelligent, articulate, and respectful even while discussing politics. One of them is my father. (I also know a handful who are not.) But even though I disagree with some (not all) of these people's conclusions, I have complete respect for them because they are not bigotted; they have no interest in bringing other people down. I think as long as one can teach one's children to be respectful, we all win.
Load More Replies... Just makes me think of THIS BE THE VERSE by Philip Larkin. They f**k you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had and add some extra, just for you. But they were f****d up in their turn by fools in old-style hats and coats, who half the time were soppy-stern and half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man, it deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, and don’t have any kids yourself.
my mom still can't come to term that I'm still single and unmarried at 30+, because she wanted her only daughter to marry early and pop put 6 children a year apart like her. oh, no careers too, because home is where a woman should be, she said. I wish I could make her understand that though I love her, I do not accept her views and beliefs.
The harder you push your kid to do what you think they "should", the harder the pushback is going to be when it comes...and I do mean WHEN, not if.
sorry chaps - but however you bring your kids up, your parenting will have an effect on them - maybe good, maybe bad, probably a mixture as we're complicated and so are they. You can't parent neutrally, and we are all in part made by the environment and people around us growing up. So relax, do your best, and don't judge how others do it.
Children are people. Why a person who isn’t downright sad would mold their children into their (the parents’) selves is beyond me. How would they like it to have been shaped into the clone of their own mother and father. Our best bet is to try our best to teach our children right, but make it clear that they are what they are, and they don’t have to be the same. As for the political part mentioned, I myself would keep an open mind, and try to help my child see all angles. All in all, regarding passing on political beliefs, it’s dark territory to me. I was a Republican for a long time, but I grew out of that when I learned more. I had never been around very liberal family. That influenced me. I had to learn on my own (and I still may be wrong about some things! There’s so many things to take into consideration!) Basically, keep an open mind. Look through their point of view every so often. Let them be themselves. Show them them that they can!
I can't tell you how true this post is. I'm a person whose parents (mother, mainly) tried to mold me into a mini-her. It totally didn't work out. I was to supposed to like certain things, go into the profession that she worked in, etc. I was totally unsuited for the that profession. Now we are practically estranged. I talk to her a little bit, but not very much.
I had pretty liberal parents, partly because it was their nature and partly because nobody could exercise much control over me. I didn't direct any of our 4 kids except to say they weren't getting a free ride. Find what they wanted to do and become good at it, really good. Riding herd took a lot of patience and energy but they all learned.
It's impossible for a kid not to adopt similar traits to whoever raises them, but I've never known a kid who is basically a carbon copy. Having said that, it's not just parents/guardians who affect how kids develop. Friends, their parents, teachers, even celebrities, can form a significant part of a child's personality. I love my parents, but I always wanted to be like Jim Carrey. It didn't work out, but if I didn't get into his movies, I'd think Christmas cracker jokes were the epitome of comedy, like my younger brother. And I'm depressed enough.
A lot of parents f**k their kids up, they don't mean to, but they do.
I love getting matching outfits with my daughter (who is three!) but that is about it as far as her being a mini me, I grew up on hair metal but she likes pop type stuff right now (Jojo Siwa is her fav) so your darn right I jam Jojo in the car with her. As long as she is safe and happy I will support whatever she wants to do.
My mother has always wanted to be a doctor and she became one! Only after giving birth to my sister and I she couldn't continue to practice. Years later she is pressuring us to become a doctor to fulfill her dreams. My sister isn't sure if what she wants but I know I want to be a veterinarian not a doctor.
Fostering a healthy sense of self is good, but as a teacher, I have seen it taken to the opposite extreme. In group settings, children need to obey reasonable requests that they may not want to. As a parent, I can negotiate with my kid, and explain what’s happening to him. Imagine if a teacher did that. If I have 24 kids, make hundreds of requests a day, and teach 180 days a year, the math is mind-blowing. Even one non-complaint child steals hours, sometimes days of instructional time from his or her peers. I’ve taught some very disadvantaged kids who don’t have support at home, and they needed every minute with me to count. Self-management must include respect for authority (excepting abuse, of course).
Kids might look like their parents but they might act completely different like me and my mom
Sometimes it's not even the parents, the grandparents can do it too. My grandmother told me when I was 5 that I could not touch the piano at her house unless I took lessons. So I did. For 11 years. And hour of practice right after school 7 days a week, lessons on Friday at 4 pm. I wasn't allowed to do anything unless I had the newest song down pat. When I started rebelling about 9th grade it turned to bribery. She would pay me to practice and then guilt trip me if I didn't. Finally, when my graduation came she asked what I wanted and I said "I want to quit piano lessons." And she let me! I was so happy to be free and not have to tell my friends I can't hand out because I had lessons. I'll play every now and then but I'm still so happy that I can be my own person!
My parents wanted me to be smart and pretty. As it became clear that all the efforts put to make me so failed (I am fat with an unattractive face and on the low end of any type of intelligence spectrum), I was treated as a failure. They resorted to laughing at me, calling me names and ignoring me until I left to live elsewhere as a young adult. I think that making me ashamed of myself was another way to try to shape me as they wanted me to be. This was some years ago, and my father has since passed away, but my mother has been in a strange mood these past years: she now tries to be loving, complimenting me, etc. I want nothing to do with her other than the bare minimum. I will never feel adequate for this life. So think about it, as parents, and see what you really want...
On the contrary, based on your post I wouldn’t place you on the low end of the intelligence scale. I’m not sure if anyone else has told, but you’re parents were a******s, and you have every right to exclude your mother from you life! Finally, you are more than adequate for this life, in fact you are every bit as deserving as anyone else of a happy life. She’d your past and forge your own life! I hope you find happiness!
Load More Replies... My parents are mostly accepting of my sexuality, a little with my gender identity. They 'allow' me to be an atheist yet force their religion onto me and punish me if I try to be an individual. They'll do something nice for me only to use it as leverage in the future, as an excuse for them being emotionally manipulative. It's hard to love my parents, knowing that I'll never be able to fully trust them.
I agree that you should let your child grow up and become what they want. You can't change what they are, for instance forcing them to only play with certain toys won't affect their sexuality. It disgusts me to see parents trying to control their kids' lives.
Thank God that my parents allowed me to do anything I want as long as I'm not being a burden to someone else. And each time I failed, they always have my back but always make me remember the lesson that comes with the failure. But I've seen to many my peer that goes into something because of their parents coercion. In my country, Science major seen as somerhong that catapult you into success, while social will gove you something well, decent but mehh.. I see few of my friends that doesn't even have any skills to survive in Science major program being forced to adapt. But then they also regret the decision since they are being just so- so with it. Or never be able to do great on the subject. :It is sad really. :'(
Also, they will feel frustrated and unhappy the rest of their lives.
Load More Replies... Yeah, that's a no from me. You don't get to decide who your children will be. The whole point of the article went 400000 miles over your head
Load More Replies...
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