Kids Bullied My Son For Something He Can Never Change, So I Want Everyone To Know That Words Hurt
October is National Bullying Prevention Month in the United States. Bullying is a problem that exists everywhere, from schools to sports to church. Basically, everywhere you look.
I was bullied as a child. I was “that kid” – the last kid picked, got called names, was never invited to classmates’ birthday parties and was pretty much excluded. However, when I was back home, I was in my safe zone. I didn’t have to worry about the names, what I was wearing or who I was! It’s different for today’s generation. They have no escape. Cyber-bullying is huge nowadays, it’s literally at the tips of our children’s fingers. We have social media and cell phones that we could turn off, but once they are turned back on it starts all over again. It’s just a never-ending cycle.
Of all the things I thought I would do as a mother, I never thought I’d be writing an insert about anti-bullying for my photography. But one day my son came home from kindergarten and told me that he was made fun of for his bumps. My heart was broken. Here is my 6-year-old getting bullied for something he was born with, something that is making him himself. I felt angry, upset and lost.
So here I am, writing this and photographing to show that words do hurt and kids can no longer be just kids these days.
I sat with my two sons (age 14 and 12) for this project. They explained to me the things that go on in school, things that are said, and the peer pressure that happens. Thankfully, my kids’ school has always been willing to listen and understand when I have had a concern, and they take bullying seriously. But I not all parents are equally lucky.
I also met with a 17-year-old Chasity, an amazing young lady who has her whole life ahead of her. As I sat there and listened to her stories I was in disbelief that anyone wouldn’t take the time to get to know her and base everything on her personality and looks, because her heart is pure gold. Here is her story from middle school.
“With all of the experiences I’ve had with bullying, this one time in 7th grade always stands out to me. I was very depressed, I dressed and acted like a stereotypical “emo”. At the time, I was also kind of chubby and was dating this guy named Ryan. A lot of the kids in 8h grade liked to pick on me and laugh at me already, but one day one of them came up with a pretty cruel name, although it might not seem as harmful as it was – “Fat Emo Dating Ryan”. It seems silly that that would be the one instance that stands out to me the most, but at the time, this name was much more painful than other things they had said. Being dubbed the “Fat Emo Dating Ryan” made me feel that those things were all I was worth. I was suddenly stripped of who I was, and my entire worth was based on my weight, my looks, and who I was dating. This didn’t bode very well for me either, as I was already very self-conscious of my weight, which was the main factor of why I was depressed in the first place. Having my worth rely upon my relationship was problematic too, considering I wasn’t very happy and it was honestly a kind of abusive relationship too.”
She ends with this:
“There’re so many things left out there in the world to see, and people to meet, and events to be a part of. It’s all there, waiting for you, you just have to be there to see it all.”
Can we say more powerful than that?!
10% of parents know that their children are being bullied. We need to stand up for our kids and help end bullying. We need to be proactive in our children’s lives. We need to sit down and talk to our children, be a part of their lives, be there for them and hear them.
According to the CDC, suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
Get help in the United States by texting “home” to 741741, to contact a trained crisis counselor for free 24/7 support or calling 1 800-273-8255 for the Suicide Crisis Hotline, which is available 27/7.
More info: Facebook
3Kviews
Share on Facebook
These photographs are powerful, they strike me right in the heart. I ache for myself, for all those who were bullied, all those who survived it or didn't, and for my daughter, who is just starting preschool and has the prospect of this ahead of her. I do my best to raise her to be self-confident and kind to others.
I think kindness is one of the most important attributes anyone can have. I did not have the kind of relationship with my parents where I could tell them that I was being bullied. Having no one in my corner was probably more harmful than the bullies were in the end. To me it sounds like she is very lucky having you as her mother.
Load More Replies...
I do not know how to feel about this. I can say, that in this day and age, and with people supposedly SO PC, I cant believe the bullying that is STILL common! Everybody is worried about racism, treating women with respect, etc! How about we just teach our kids to be respectful of OTHER PEOPLE PERIOD!
Words do not hurt MORE than physical abuse. I can attest as I have suffered both. Neither is acceptable!
I agree. The words stick with you a lot more than the wounds. Plus in my case I grew up to be bigger than the 'man' that hit me..
Load More Replies...
Remember life is worth so much more. I use to be that kid that bullied and made fun of. I was that kid that use to cut... I can promise you that life is better it DOES get better, that i can promise you. Hold your head up and reach out for help if you need it. You are not fighting this alone.
Load More Replies...
Back in the "stone age", before social media, the bullying cowards would just scream their words at you as they rode by on their bikes. Entire cohorts of your schoolmates would gang up on you and viciously attack you with words, rocks or snowballs on the playgrounds.Kids you didn't even know would be recruited to attack you. Teachers and parents offered no safe haven for you. You were subjected to life without parole. Your crime? Being the "new kid", having "blank" colored or textured hair, being tall, being short, being fat, being thin, being too smart, not being smart enough, simply being exposed as a target or a perceived threat by the "popular" kids. Live that life and you will understand these photographs more thoroughly than words can ever convey.
There's a special place in Hell for bullies, and a little birdie told me it just happens to be the very worst one.
A song that wasn't even that good to begin with, that people started taking to heart for some reason.
Load More Replies... If you get this s**t ON YOUR PHONE which IDENTIFIES THE SENDER go straight to the Headmaster/mistress and do not leave until something is done! Find out who else is being bullied by whichever a*****e/s and get together to report them. Schools need to get their acts together.
This might be too personal but I grew up hearing all the harsh words and insults from my father. Those words really hurt me until now but they didn't destroy my self-confidence. Instead, I became too tough... too tough that it scares me. I have either become too numb to care about the random insults that other people say to me or become too defensive in arguments. I don't know if it's a good talent to shut horrible people down with your words alone but I'm too good at it. I don't even need to touch them to hurt them. They don't know that I'm too observant with almost every little thing about their behavior so when they try to argue against me, I just say something about them and it slaps them right on the face.
What is the reasoning behind the bullying? Their own insecurities (they are not as popular as they want to be, so they choose someone who is even more unpopular to take the focus off themselves)? The bullying could be a gateway to fit in with the popular kids. Were they raised by parent(s) who are constantly being critical of other people? Maybe they are just mean spirited and lack empathy?
These photographs are powerful, they strike me right in the heart. I ache for myself, for all those who were bullied, all those who survived it or didn't, and for my daughter, who is just starting preschool and has the prospect of this ahead of her. I do my best to raise her to be self-confident and kind to others.
I think kindness is one of the most important attributes anyone can have. I did not have the kind of relationship with my parents where I could tell them that I was being bullied. Having no one in my corner was probably more harmful than the bullies were in the end. To me it sounds like she is very lucky having you as her mother.
Load More Replies... I do not know how to feel about this. I can say, that in this day and age, and with people supposedly SO PC, I cant believe the bullying that is STILL common! Everybody is worried about racism, treating women with respect, etc! How about we just teach our kids to be respectful of OTHER PEOPLE PERIOD!
Words do not hurt MORE than physical abuse. I can attest as I have suffered both. Neither is acceptable!
I agree. The words stick with you a lot more than the wounds. Plus in my case I grew up to be bigger than the 'man' that hit me..
Load More Replies... Remember life is worth so much more. I use to be that kid that bullied and made fun of. I was that kid that use to cut... I can promise you that life is better it DOES get better, that i can promise you. Hold your head up and reach out for help if you need it. You are not fighting this alone.
Load More Replies... Back in the "stone age", before social media, the bullying cowards would just scream their words at you as they rode by on their bikes. Entire cohorts of your schoolmates would gang up on you and viciously attack you with words, rocks or snowballs on the playgrounds.Kids you didn't even know would be recruited to attack you. Teachers and parents offered no safe haven for you. You were subjected to life without parole. Your crime? Being the "new kid", having "blank" colored or textured hair, being tall, being short, being fat, being thin, being too smart, not being smart enough, simply being exposed as a target or a perceived threat by the "popular" kids. Live that life and you will understand these photographs more thoroughly than words can ever convey.
There's a special place in Hell for bullies, and a little birdie told me it just happens to be the very worst one.
A song that wasn't even that good to begin with, that people started taking to heart for some reason.
Load More Replies... If you get this s**t ON YOUR PHONE which IDENTIFIES THE SENDER go straight to the Headmaster/mistress and do not leave until something is done! Find out who else is being bullied by whichever a*****e/s and get together to report them. Schools need to get their acts together.
This might be too personal but I grew up hearing all the harsh words and insults from my father. Those words really hurt me until now but they didn't destroy my self-confidence. Instead, I became too tough... too tough that it scares me. I have either become too numb to care about the random insults that other people say to me or become too defensive in arguments. I don't know if it's a good talent to shut horrible people down with your words alone but I'm too good at it. I don't even need to touch them to hurt them. They don't know that I'm too observant with almost every little thing about their behavior so when they try to argue against me, I just say something about them and it slaps them right on the face.
What is the reasoning behind the bullying? Their own insecurities (they are not as popular as they want to be, so they choose someone who is even more unpopular to take the focus off themselves)? The bullying could be a gateway to fit in with the popular kids. Were they raised by parent(s) who are constantly being critical of other people? Maybe they are just mean spirited and lack empathy?
15
26