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You’re free to live your life as you please, so long as you’re not harming anyone. I stand by that statement because I believe that autonomy, the freedom of choice, and the ability to decide for ourselves what’s truly best for us are what separates civilization from chaos. The grown-up thing to do is to respect each other’s rational choices, even if we might do things differently ourselves. So, for instance (and full disclosure): I come from a large family and I want to have a large family of my own, however, I know that having children isn’t the right choice for everyone. I’m fine with that. Some others? Not so much.

There are far more people choosing not to have kids in this day and age than you’d think. One of the main places online where they discuss topics related to their childfree lifestyle is the r/childfree subreddit, a huge community of over 1.4 million members. We’ve collected some of the best jokes and memes shared on the subreddit that might amuse you, Pandas. You’ll find them if you scroll down.

Keep in mind that there are a wide variety of issues that r/childfree touches upon in its day-to-day posts. They’ve collected the most important aspects about living childfree into a massive FAQ, curated for over a decade, which you can find right here. It’s a lengthy but in-depth read. Meanwhile, you’ll find Bored Panda’s previous article about the ‘Childfree’ community on Reddit right over here.

I reached out to the r/childfree moderator team and one of its members, redditor u/Raveynfyre, was kind enough to answer my questions about running the community that existed even earlier than Reddit was formed. As it turns out, moderating r/childfree is a far tougher job than you might imagine. The subreddit is beset by trolls daily and the moderators have to remove quite a few comments from public view due to the sensitive nature of the topics discussed there. Read on for Bored Panda's interview with u/Raveynfyre.

#1

Family Is What You Make

Family Is What You Make

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lynnorphillips8007 avatar
Nor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This needs to stay on top! Stop forcing an issue to have kids, some people are just not meant to have and yet they do

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Bored Panda was interested in finding out how the moderators manage such a large community. The membership count alone is staggering. According to u/Raveynfyre, Reddit provides some very fine tools to moderators to help them get their job done. Without them, they said, the mods would have a nightmarish time keeping up with the comments that need to be removed. The members of the community help identify these problematic comments, too.

"Comments get identified for removal by user reports, so I have to give our community a shout-out as well. For many reasons they are why we're here," u/Raveynfyre told Bored Panda. "I'd say that daily we get upwards of 20-30 reports which tell us to go review a comment because it might be against the rules. Our community is great at reporting trolls and disrespectful parents to us with the 'Report' function in Reddit."

The mod stressed the fact that the r/childfree mods don't actually delete anyone's comments or content: they hide them from public view. This way, anyone on the subreddit's mod team, as well as any of the administrators working for Reddit can review the content and make a final verdict about whether it stays or goes.

"If I had to give a percentage, I'd say half of them remain removed," the mod said, adding that comments can also get removed by the report system if there's a sizeable volume of reports on them. In short, the system is very efficient at weeding out hate and vitriol.

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#2

Child Fees Should Be A Thing And Dogs Should Be Free

Child Fees Should Be A Thing And Dogs Should Be Free

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Moderator u/Raveynfyre was very blunt about the fact that their team has to deal with trolls on a literal daily basis. "We deal with trolls daily. Just yesterday, I had a terrible one who, within the space of an hour, managed to post 44 trolling comments from various threads. Three of his comments had been reported by the community, so I went to his profile and took a deeper look. I'm glad I did because the problem was worse than the automated system was indicating to us," they opened up about one such instance.

The rules the subreddit has in place aren't just for show. They've been honed and polished to reflect the reality of the situation. "We have Rule 4 in place specifically for things like petty BS arguments that often devolve into name-calling and threats of bodily harm. We also have a rule about 'joking' or otherwise making light of harming a child. We don't discriminate in regards to this rule. We often ban active members of the subreddit, due to them not reading or caring about the community rules until it's too late," the mod explained that nobody gets special treatment if they misbehave.

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"Rule 5 is an instant ban offense, no exceptions. We take this rule very, very seriously. This rule helps set us apart from other subreddits and demonstrates through our actions, that we do not want children to be hurt. Anyone who posts here is subject to that rule. We refuse to let this community be ruined by the lowest common denominators."

#4

What Could Be More Important Than Creating Life?

What Could Be More Important Than Creating Life?

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Natasha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Giving birth is not the only job a woman has and it's totally upto her if she wants to do it or not .

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#5

I Don’t Know If This A Repost But I Think It’s Correct!

I Don’t Know If This A Repost But I Think It’s Correct!

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Shalini Pabreja
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this was published an example of how to respond to invasive questions.

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Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 34 and i really want to start making people uncomfortable when they ask but i don't want to say something like that cause it would be a lie in my case! Cause they don't seem to understand the "i don't want kids" and keep insisting

lindacowley avatar
Auntriarch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just shout "not everyone who is childless is that way by choice!" turn on your heel and refuse to discuss the matter further. That way you haven't lied, but they will think that you can't, and either stfu or you just keep repeating I can't bear to talk about it until they stop. And possibly, just possibly they may think before saying it to someone who really wants to but can't.

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Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn't have children bcuz of severe endometriosis. I didn't really advertise that fact. It was hurtful when people kept asking when I'm going to have kids. When I did tell people, they said, well you can adopt, surrogate, foster; as if I HAD to find a different way. Truthfully, I was in a bad marriage and I also have a lot of autoimmune disorders. It would really be difficult to care for a child when I could barely care for myself. I'm really happy to be childless. But for some, that's not acceptable. "Your missing out on so much!"

stanfield-claire avatar
Claire Stanfield
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't bring up kids unless the person you would want to ask brings it up. Just don't do it. There's so much more to a person's life - aspirations, hobbies, community enrichment, arts/music, etc.

alisonmavr avatar
Wondering Alice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% agree. However if you have asked someone if they have kids and they say no - drop the conversation.

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Jill
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That and when ppl ask, looking at them and saying in a very sad voice, "We haven't been lucky enough to be able to have kids." That puts people in the right mood after that. I'm a teacher and apparently it makes me less of a professionell for not having them. Sort of like a male OBGYN not having a vagina.

stampfreak avatar
Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did people say, "why don't you adopt?" I got sick of hearing that.

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BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I struggled with fertility for a few years. I ONLY ask newlyweds IF they want kids. I never mention a time limit or anything similar to this, even to make a joke. I HATED it when complete strangers seemed to think my procreation seemed to be small talk

idrow avatar
Id row
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find that a 'mind your own uterus' reply is also effective.

marybank avatar
Mary Bank
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG THIS and it never stops. We have one son and he is 10 and just such an awesome kid. STRANGERS will ask us when we are having another. Dude you don't know me. Sometimes I reply with "our son is our second child, we had a daughter that died" that normally shuts them up pretty f*****g fast. DO NOT assume you know us and what we have gone through. My friend has four daughters and people will ask her if she is gonna try for a son. O_O

isaacharvey81 avatar
Isaac Harvey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I(18M) don't have kids, but I have an eight-year-old... childhood brain cancer diagnosis, and a nineteen-month-old... epilepsy diagnosis.

alisonmavr avatar
Wondering Alice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a blood dissorder that has lead to a so many miscarrages and eptopic pregnancies. I think I got asked almost weekly throughout my 30's about why i didn't have kids. Why would anyone ever ask this? The responses fall in to 2 catergories 1) do not want - why do you have any right to judge circumstances you know nothing about or 2) cant - why do you have a right to intrude on what might well be trumatic experience. Also, if and when i replied honestly like the OP - more often than not the women asking (men dont ask much) tend to get very angry, like i have no right to make them feel uncomfortable.

chanellebotha avatar
Chanelle Botha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a co worker who asked me this all the time. Until one day I said I can’t have children.

hobbit4420 avatar
Sue Phillips
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish I could think that fast. At a family reunion (husband's), one of his distant cousins came up to us and demanded to know if we are having children, because my husband is the only male of his generation who can carry on the (very common) "family name", which she doesn't even have. Why would she care? Also, she apparently forgot about my husband's brother and nephews. When she asked this, my jaw dropped to the table and I was catatonic for a minute. My husband had the presence of mind to say that subject was not up for discussion. I still wish I had told her I couldn't have them, but naturally, didn't think of this until 10 minutes later.

kjl01 avatar
Karen Lyon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish she had been talking to the woman from the.post above.

janepetersen avatar
Jane Petersen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I am asked why I no longer am married I tell them he died. That clears the room.

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Anna Harding
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are four people with autism in my family, one on my husband’s side and yet for years I had to endure The Question.

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Riley Quinn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When people pried into my childless life, I would tell them something horrible like this just to watch them squirm. Nosy a-holes.

linda_robinett avatar
Linda Robinett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People at work used to ask me when I was going to have children. I pointed out that I was not married. They said, people can have children without being married. At the time I was a conservative Christian and believed in celibacy before marriage. What a bunch of idiots. It stopped in my late 30's.

joodith227 avatar
Mumof1
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why don't people keep their big, long, pointy noses out of other people's business!

jvdauterive avatar
Juliette Dauterive
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, they didn’t ask any inappropriate questions, just made an inappropriate comment

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MikeWheelerFan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom didn’t have me until she was 40, so these kind of people can stick their head back up their a**

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Jess Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m gonna use this. If that really happened to you, OP, I’m so sorry you had to encounter such assholes 😞

levpertsov avatar
Loty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet your biological clock is still ticking. Tick tock.

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#6

How Is This Still A Thing, Anyway?

How Is This Still A Thing, Anyway?

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sadly this one comes up a lot. There was an article in the UK press a few years ago about a young lady who wanted her tubes tied with the full support of her boyfriend. All the doctors said that he should have a vasectomy instead. She got the whole "you may change your mind" spiel. Someone who wants their tubes tied is not going to change their mind about having children.

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The moderator, u/Raveynfyre, highlighted the fact that the 'Childfree' community is older than many think. "This community has been around for a very long time, even before Reddit existed. We weren't heard of or focused on previously, but we were around," they said that Reddit has given them a platform for talking about their lifestyle.

I was also interested to learn a bit more about the subreddit's massive FAQ. According to the mod, it's best viewed via desktop because the official Reddit app loads up an old version of the sidebar. "The information in the FAQ has been gathered and curated for well over a decade now," they said. "We add information to it when it's pertinent, and we actively maintain both a domestic and international CF Friendly Doctor lists, all of which have performed at least 1 sterilization on a member of this community."

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However, despite the mass of information, not everyone takes the time to read through it and some run into difficulties even finding it. "New members have a difficult time finding our resources due to the redesign Reddit undertook awhile back, as well as the official app linking to old material that has been updated. It's a rare thing for our readers to even read the rules of the sub, much less the various resources."

#7

Just One Simple Trick To Save Money

Just One Simple Trick To Save Money

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Buren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Change the dollar to micro rubber ducky and use them to pelt on next nosy people

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#8

I Have Never Related To A Tweet More. Here’s To A Child Free Halloween!

I Have Never Related To A Tweet More. Here’s To A Child Free Halloween!

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Valid reply: " You're at the age that a lot of people already have died. Shouldn't you start your preparations? The clock is ticking...."

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#9

I Think Someone Working In This Store Is Childfree

I Think Someone Working In This Store Is Childfree

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Becklass
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the activities partaken when using one of these products is (hopefully) a lot more fun than using the other. And cheaper.

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The r/childfree community draws a line between two definitions that you might see crop up in the online group quite often: childfree and childless. According to them, childfree people don’t have kids because they don’t want them.

Meanwhile, childless people haven’t gotten around to having kids yet or cannot have them due to various circumstances in their lives, such as financial pressures or infertility. In short, being childfree is very much a measured choice. The reasons, of course, differ from person to person. They might be financial, ecological, emotional, anything in-between, or something different and very personal entirely.

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#10

For The Childfree Motorist

For The Childfree Motorist

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Julia Atkinson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Has ANYONE driven more carefully because of the car in front's "baby on board" sticker?

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The subreddit’s FAQ also deals with pertinent questions like the reasons for backlash against those living childfree, the drive to have children, considering one’s life purpose and possible future regrets (whatever they might be), figuring out whether someone wants to be a parent, and many others. In short, the subreddit provides easy access to a whole bunch of research and opinions that might interest someone who is considering not to have kids in the future or is simply unsure of what they truly want and why.

What’s more, the subreddit’s community members have put together a list of the terminology often used by childfree redditors. You’ll find the full list of terms right here.

#13

Saw This Meme And Thought You Guys Would Enjoy It, Too

Saw This Meme And Thought You Guys Would Enjoy It, Too

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#14

Imagine That. Maybe One Day

Imagine That. Maybe One Day

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Ranax
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do wonder what the ratio Hoping for positive/Hoping for negative is. The second might be the largest market.

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#15

Top Notch Product Review

Top Notch Product Review

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Julia Atkinson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It also prevented me causing a major disaster when the gender reveal party got out of hand!"

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According to the mods of r/childfree, every single submission on the subreddit has to be related to the childfree lifestyle. That means that low-effort, low-quality posts that have no connection to the core questions and topics of the community are likely to get removed by the moderators themselves.

The community is open to everyone for discussion, as long as they behave in a civil manner. What’s more, there’s absolutely no room for jokes about harming kids.

The idea of people living childfree can result in a lot of hate from those who don’t agree with this lifestyle. Those choosing not to have children can be criticized for their choices or warned that they might regret this later in life. Childfree dramas can touch upon a wide variety of events and can even impact weddings.

#16

How Can You Not Want Them

How Can You Not Want Them

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May
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never wanted kids - I think it's an instinct you either have or you don't. In a modern society there are no rational arguments for having kids - it's all emotional. Some people can't comprehend that not everyone has the exact same instincts and emotions as them.

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#18

No Kids And Always Tired!

No Kids And Always Tired!

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Libstak
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a carer to elderly parents is tiring, but so is everything that expends energy. Nobody has a monopoly on exhaustion, it's available to one and all and a part of life and living. Some things we do by choice, others cos we have to to survive and thrive.

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For instance, a while back, I spoke to Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society about the etiquette for bringing children to weddings. They explained that it’s important to follow the wishes of the happy couple. So, if the couple asks its guests to leave their kids at home, the polite thing to do would be to adhere to their wishes.

“For guests, the standard (and best) etiquette these days is definitely to respect the wishes of the marrying couple when it comes to children at weddings, whether it be that kids of a certain age are welcome, only specific children of a few family and friends, or no kids at all,” the wedding experts told Bored Panda.

#20

One Could Also Choose The "God Will Provide" Route As We All Know That Free Money Is A Thing In This World

One Could Also Choose The "God Will Provide" Route As We All Know That Free Money Is A Thing In This World

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But you can't apply for animal support, yet you can apply for child support.

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#21

It’s Almost Summer!

It’s Almost Summer!

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“Please don’t take the inclusion or exclusion of your little ones personally (especially if the couple don’t have kids of their own to fully understand your situation) and remember—as nice as it is to bring your babies along to the celebration, it’s also an awesome opportunity for a fun night off if you’re asked to leave them with a sitter!” the experts said.

“For marrying couples, the etiquette can be trickier. Newborns really need to be with their parents so please don’t ask for any babies under a few months to be left at home. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask for parents of older children to take the night off and leave them with a sitter, but the fairest way to do this is to make a blanket rule for everyone rather than picking and choosing which kids can come and who can’t.”

#23

Asking The Right Questions

Asking The Right Questions

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Deborah B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do kids want to be at the wedding? Because as a child, I went to several, and they were mostly boring.

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#24

The Look Of Horror On Every Passenger’s Face As Children Board The Plane

The Look Of Horror On Every Passenger’s Face As Children Board The Plane

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Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't mind this one as much. Parents and kids have to travel too and babies are going to cry....what pisses me off is when it's older kids with no manners who kick seats, jump on seats and scream for no reason.

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Previously, my colleague Liucija spoke to Amy Blackstone, author of ‘Childfree by Choice’ and a professor of sociology at the University of Maine. Amy told Bored Panda that more people are aware that living childfree is a viable option than ever before.

“That is largely thanks to the willingness of childfree people to speak out about their choice and of course to the decades-long work of reproductive justice advocates. Whether more people than in the past will ultimately remain childfree for their lifetimes remains to be seen,” the professor explained.

#25

I Swear

I Swear

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Family want's you to be an incubator. My mum asked me (loooong time ago) if I would want children. I said Nope! Mum said "hmmm I get that, you do what you want sweetheart". Bless her.

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#26

My Friend Sent This To Me

My Friend Sent This To Me

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“Certainly more millennials are currently childfree than were previous generations at their age, but there hasn't been a dramatic increase in lifetime childlessness,” Amy noted. She added that, in time, it’ll become clear if today’s millennials are opting out of parenthood altogether or simply delaying starting a family.

“We know from all kinds of social science research that having kids is not required for living a complete, happy, and fulfilling life,” the professor told Bored Panda. “We now know that parenthood is simply one of many paths available to us,” she said that it’s due to more childfree people speaking out about their lifestyle.

#28

This About Sums It Up

This About Sums It Up

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or "before" and "after" photos of the stylish interior of their house.

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#30

Long Term Planning

Long Term Planning

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J. F.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apocalypse movies taught me one thing: 90% of the preventable deaths are caused because a kid does something stupid

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#33

Haha Not In This Economy!

Haha Not In This Economy!

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A shout to all the childfree broke people. You arent alone!

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#34

This Guy Gets It

This Guy Gets It

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm now hearing under 25 to be too young. Strange it was thought of as an issue for you.

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#38

The Correct Response

The Correct Response

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#39

Gatekeeping Being Tired Is For The Birds

Gatekeeping Being Tired Is For The Birds

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#40

It Do Be Like That

It Do Be Like That

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maylin_martinsen avatar
May
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People finally stopped asking, once I hit 40. Until then it was - "Just wait - that biological clock is going to start ticking any minute now." Yeah, I don't think I have one of those.

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Note: this post originally had 52 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.