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40 Jokes And Memes By People Who Don’t Regret Their Childfree Lifestyle
Interview
You’re free to live your life as you please, so long as you’re not harming anyone. I stand by that statement because I believe that autonomy, the freedom of choice, and the ability to decide for ourselves what’s truly best for us are what separates civilization from chaos. The grown-up thing to do is to respect each other’s rational choices, even if we might do things differently ourselves. So, for instance (and full disclosure): I come from a large family and I want to have a large family of my own, however, I know that having children isn’t the right choice for everyone. I’m fine with that. Some others? Not so much.
There are far more people choosing not to have kids in this day and age than you’d think. One of the main places online where they discuss topics related to their childfree lifestyle is the r/childfree subreddit, a huge community of over 1.4 million members. We’ve collected some of the best jokes and memes shared on the subreddit that might amuse you, Pandas. You’ll find them if you scroll down.
Keep in mind that there are a wide variety of issues that r/childfree touches upon in its day-to-day posts. They’ve collected the most important aspects about living childfree into a massive FAQ, curated for over a decade, which you can find right here. It’s a lengthy but in-depth read. Meanwhile, you’ll find Bored Panda’s previous article about the ‘Childfree’ community on Reddit right over here.
I reached out to the r/childfree moderator team and one of its members, redditor u/Raveynfyre, was kind enough to answer my questions about running the community that existed even earlier than Reddit was formed. As it turns out, moderating r/childfree is a far tougher job than you might imagine. The subreddit is beset by trolls daily and the moderators have to remove quite a few comments from public view due to the sensitive nature of the topics discussed there. Read on for Bored Panda's interview with u/Raveynfyre.
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Family Is What You Make
Bored Panda was interested in finding out how the moderators manage such a large community. The membership count alone is staggering. According to u/Raveynfyre, Reddit provides some very fine tools to moderators to help them get their job done. Without them, they said, the mods would have a nightmarish time keeping up with the comments that need to be removed. The members of the community help identify these problematic comments, too.
"Comments get identified for removal by user reports, so I have to give our community a shout-out as well. For many reasons they are why we're here," u/Raveynfyre told Bored Panda. "I'd say that daily we get upwards of 20-30 reports which tell us to go review a comment because it might be against the rules. Our community is great at reporting trolls and disrespectful parents to us with the 'Report' function in Reddit."
The mod stressed the fact that the r/childfree mods don't actually delete anyone's comments or content: they hide them from public view. This way, anyone on the subreddit's mod team, as well as any of the administrators working for Reddit can review the content and make a final verdict about whether it stays or goes.
"If I had to give a percentage, I'd say half of them remain removed," the mod said, adding that comments can also get removed by the report system if there's a sizeable volume of reports on them. In short, the system is very efficient at weeding out hate and vitriol.
Child Fees Should Be A Thing And Dogs Should Be Free
Saw This And Thought Of You Guys
Moderator u/Raveynfyre was very blunt about the fact that their team has to deal with trolls on a literal daily basis. "We deal with trolls daily. Just yesterday, I had a terrible one who, within the space of an hour, managed to post 44 trolling comments from various threads. Three of his comments had been reported by the community, so I went to his profile and took a deeper look. I'm glad I did because the problem was worse than the automated system was indicating to us," they opened up about one such instance.
The rules the subreddit has in place aren't just for show. They've been honed and polished to reflect the reality of the situation. "We have Rule 4 in place specifically for things like petty BS arguments that often devolve into name-calling and threats of bodily harm. We also have a rule about 'joking' or otherwise making light of harming a child. We don't discriminate in regards to this rule. We often ban active members of the subreddit, due to them not reading or caring about the community rules until it's too late," the mod explained that nobody gets special treatment if they misbehave.
"Rule 5 is an instant ban offense, no exceptions. We take this rule very, very seriously. This rule helps set us apart from other subreddits and demonstrates through our actions, that we do not want children to be hurt. Anyone who posts here is subject to that rule. We refuse to let this community be ruined by the lowest common denominators."
What Could Be More Important Than Creating Life?
I Don’t Know If This A Repost But I Think It’s Correct!
How Is This Still A Thing, Anyway?
Sadly this one comes up a lot. There was an article in the UK press a few years ago about a young lady who wanted her tubes tied with the full support of her boyfriend. All the doctors said that he should have a vasectomy instead. She got the whole "you may change your mind" spiel. Someone who wants their tubes tied is not going to change their mind about having children.
I also found it strange when I went to get a vasectomy (in the UK, 20 years back) the Dr sensibly ran through the ‘can’t guarantee if you changed you mind that it could be reversed’ and ‘are you sure’ aspect which is fair enough. But then gave me a form that my wife had to sign to say she understood the implications. In any instance if one of the two people involved (or a single person) don’t want kids it’s irrelevant if any third party might want kids…unless both want them they shouldn’t be created!
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I got an old gynecologist (a woman!) asking ne if I wanted children and when i said no she yelled at me "what about your husband!?". Asshole, she also was one of the monsters telling me that all my pain was in my head and not due to the diseases I have.
I really believe that gynecologists need to have some empathy seminars!! Being a good doctor doesn't mean knowing everything on your field! If you lack empathy you are useless! You are not capable to be a doctor you should change profession!!
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My doctor actually told me when I asked for a hysterectomy that I might get divorced and my next husband might want kids. When my husband (sitting next to me) started laughing, she switched tack to the whole having a kid may cure your treatment resistant depression. I was flabbergasted at her gall. When my husband went in to get his tubes tied prior to my surgery (one year wait) she pulled out the whole you might want to get divorced thing again.
WHAT?! Having a kid can cure treatment resistant depression? I've honestly never heard that one. My depression has resisted absolutely everything... but I'm 1000% sure a kid would make it worse.
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After my 2nd kid, I asked to have my tubes tied. Quick disclaimer from the doc asking if I was absolutely sure, divorces happen and what if my next husband wanted children, God forbid something were to happen to one of my existing kids, etc. I assured her none of that mattered because I knew I NEVER wanted to be pregnant again. Thankfully, that was enough. She didn't even ask my husband "for permission." The decision was left up to me and me alone.
It's amazing how all the shitty rules via the 4K religions, which are ALL man made, have been made up by men as a means to control girls / women. The oppression, as a result, is disgusting. Race oppression is obviously worse, but this is most definitely 2nd Sexism and Misogyny in the Christian Tradition: Liberating Alternatives https://www.jstor.org/stable/24801355 https://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/15/does-religion-oppress-women/
I hate this. I know men who got a vasectomy as soon as they legally could but as soon as I started asking about having something done it was always "But what if you change your mind? What if you meet someone you want to have children with? What if they want children?" or my favourite yet "We don't mutilate bodies unless it's to save your life". IT'S MY BODY. Either treat me or refer me to someone who will.
Bruh even if they did want kids later on there's something called ADOPTION.
I had to fight and argue to get my tubes tied at 30 after 5 kids. The male doctor told me my husband may want more in the future and as a good wife I should be able to fulfil his wants and needs. No mention of my own needs. After 5 children my pregnancies were getting harder and harder and I didn't want to do it again. The doctors closing argument was that one of my children might die and I will need to have another to fill the void. I walked out of there and paid privately and got it done 4 weeks later. My choice nobody else gets to say what I do with my body but my husband is very supportive of any decision I make.
What??? What kind of doctor says horrible things like that?? Did you report this idiot? I sure hope he will get his share of karma.
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New saint concept: Saint Bob. He appears behind your gynecologist and screams "Just f*cking do it!" while waving a sword.
Also, does he know your sexuality? Overall terrible doctor
I had that line from a doctor, with the added all women change their mind!!! 20 plus years later, I still haven't changed my mind and the answer is still no.
This is true. I had 3 kids buy 21 and the doctor refused to tie my tubes. He said my husband may want more kids...WTF man!!! It's my body. Luckily, I guess, I had a hysterectomy at 27.
I'm an OB/Gyn nurse. It's the most barbaric form of medicine. Once men decided women couldn't feel pain (yes they believed this until the 70s), they decided they just don't care. It's one of the only practices that will take biopsies with zero pain control.
When I was 3 and my brother 5, my (single) mom told her Dr that she'd like a hysterectomy. The doc actually told her, "You may meet a man someday, and want children together." Mom told them she wasn't a brood mare and did not want more children, with anyone. She ended up spending a year lying, saying she had unbearable periods, just so she could get the surgery.
When a friend who had 3 terrible miscarriages and didnt' want to go through that again called a doctor about getting her tubes tied her doctor asked "did your husband give you permission to do this? "
I'm confused, can she not freeze some eggs and get In Vitro Fertilization after the procedure if she decides to? Does getting one's tubes tied affect hormones and uterus fertility? Quick Google search points to being able to successful IVF after getting one's tubes tied. Maybe the doctor was sleeping with the patient's husband and that was their tongue in cheek way of hinting at divorce.
If my doctor had been willing, or if my insurance would have paid for a tubal, I never would have had an abortion years later. I was so relieved when I went through menopause.
My s/i/l is over 40, her 2 girls are both in college w/ a stepson also in college & dr's won't tie her tubes b/c "maybe she'll want a boy one day...." Are you kidding me?????
Same reason a doctor gave me for not doing a hysterectomy when I had endometriosis. Uhm...had my kid. Don't want another one. My choice, just do it.
More like....let him not be the reason for a certain future regret say you decide to have kids... quote... have kids
If someday her husband might want kids, he can adopt or become a foster parent.
My friend's gyno (old white man) *made* her wait until she was 36 years old. Why she did not go to a different doctor is beyond me.
Slap that upside his head..better yet-kick him in the balls-like really violently.
Go to a different doc... I'm sure there are hundreds who would do it...
Agreed on this. Was 28 and ask to tie my tubs and they said no. I had a c section and ask them to tie my tubs and they refuse because i was too young but I dont want more kids. Now I have to use a birth control and its not good for my body.
My husband signed my "permission slip" just days after we filed for divorce. The doctor was ashamed asking for his permission to tie my tubes because he thought it should be my solo decision.
When I wanted in vitro fertilization (I was in my late 30s wanted kids and was freshly divorced) the endocrinologist wouldn't do it because he didn't believe in my lifestyle as a single mom. Please find another MD who will do what you wish. You deserve your life on YOUR terms.
I once asked for that but never followed through and never needed to have it done
I'm baffled by this. Simply turn it around (and stop telling her she can't decide). When I had my second child, my OB and I discussed this, and between us, we decided that I wasn't sure if I would never want another child. My husband's opinion didn't even enter the conversation. We went on to have two more.
I asked my gynaecologist to get my tubes tied at 28, 8 years into my relationship with my husband. We Didn't want them then. We Still don't now at 50. They wouldn't do the op. then. So I've taken hormones for 20 extra years to prevent pregnancy, and spent a lot on bulk buying condoms too (not taking chances). The reason given was that it wasn't allowed until I had 2 children, and when I explained that I didn't want even 1 I was told that I would change my mind. Ridiculous. I can't believe it's still a thing. I thought it was just because I lived in a backwards religion obsessed country. But nope. My country is actually quite progressive now, and definitely not as religious, but apparently, it's still a thing here too.
Absolutely insane. They let people breed at any age after teenage with no problem, but suddenly the whole world collapses when a woman says she's not interested in that
That would make sense when asking 16 or 18 years old. I know women who didn't want kids and then changed mind around 25.
Why is BP reporting entire articles from mths ago ? This happens too often. I read this very post not that long ago.
Still from her apparent demographic she’s fortunate not to have been born a few decades earlier when black women and native women in America were unethically and unconsentingly given a certain “Mississippi appendectomy” procedure in their droves.
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I have a good friend who's doctor gave him a vasectomy at 18 (way too young) then in his 30s trying with expensive invitro because he changed his mind. That was a bad idea, me at 34 wanting mine tied and I got the talk...
What galls me the most about this is the assumption that silly old me has no idea what I want or don't want... that's up to my non-existent husband to decide!
why would she marry a guy who wants different things in life in the first place...?
It took me almost two years to find a doctor who would do my tubal ligation when I was 25. I saw every doctor covered under my insurance and every one said no. Most gave me the "when you are older, you will change your mind" speech. One told me that I just haven't met the right man. One finally agreed to do it if I could get a letter from a Psychiatrist to confirm that I understood a tubal ligation is permenant and could not be easily reversed. 15 years later, people still ask if/when I will have kids. When I tell them I had my tubes tied? "It's reversible."
A doc at the VA told me similar 15 years ago. Suffice to say, I made him feel real fkn awkward about it.
I'm up to 10 doctors and not one will give me a hysterectomy in case my husband wants kids (FYI he doesn't).
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Doesn't work like that but your ignorance certainly gave me a chuckle this morning 😂
Load More Replies...The moderator, u/Raveynfyre, highlighted the fact that the 'Childfree' community is older than many think. "This community has been around for a very long time, even before Reddit existed. We weren't heard of or focused on previously, but we were around," they said that Reddit has given them a platform for talking about their lifestyle.
I was also interested to learn a bit more about the subreddit's massive FAQ. According to the mod, it's best viewed via desktop because the official Reddit app loads up an old version of the sidebar. "The information in the FAQ has been gathered and curated for well over a decade now," they said. "We add information to it when it's pertinent, and we actively maintain both a domestic and international CF Friendly Doctor lists, all of which have performed at least 1 sterilization on a member of this community."
However, despite the mass of information, not everyone takes the time to read through it and some run into difficulties even finding it. "New members have a difficult time finding our resources due to the redesign Reddit undertook awhile back, as well as the official app linking to old material that has been updated. It's a rare thing for our readers to even read the rules of the sub, much less the various resources."
Just One Simple Trick To Save Money
I Have Never Related To A Tweet More. Here’s To A Child Free Halloween!
Valid reply: " You're at the age that a lot of people already have died. Shouldn't you start your preparations? The clock is ticking...."
I Think Someone Working In This Store Is Childfree
The r/childfree community draws a line between two definitions that you might see crop up in the online group quite often: childfree and childless. According to them, childfree people don’t have kids because they don’t want them.
Meanwhile, childless people haven’t gotten around to having kids yet or cannot have them due to various circumstances in their lives, such as financial pressures or infertility. In short, being childfree is very much a measured choice. The reasons, of course, differ from person to person. They might be financial, ecological, emotional, anything in-between, or something different and very personal entirely.
For The Childfree Motorist
Has ANYONE driven more carefully because of the car in front's "baby on board" sticker?
True
The subreddit’s FAQ also deals with pertinent questions like the reasons for backlash against those living childfree, the drive to have children, considering one’s life purpose and possible future regrets (whatever they might be), figuring out whether someone wants to be a parent, and many others. In short, the subreddit provides easy access to a whole bunch of research and opinions that might interest someone who is considering not to have kids in the future or is simply unsure of what they truly want and why.
What’s more, the subreddit’s community members have put together a list of the terminology often used by childfree redditors. You’ll find the full list of terms right here.
Saw This Meme And Thought You Guys Would Enjoy It, Too
Imagine That. Maybe One Day
Top Notch Product Review
"It also prevented me causing a major disaster when the gender reveal party got out of hand!"
According to the mods of r/childfree, every single submission on the subreddit has to be related to the childfree lifestyle. That means that low-effort, low-quality posts that have no connection to the core questions and topics of the community are likely to get removed by the moderators themselves.
The community is open to everyone for discussion, as long as they behave in a civil manner. What’s more, there’s absolutely no room for jokes about harming kids.
The idea of people living childfree can result in a lot of hate from those who don’t agree with this lifestyle. Those choosing not to have children can be criticized for their choices or warned that they might regret this later in life. Childfree dramas can touch upon a wide variety of events and can even impact weddings.
How Can You Not Want Them
My Kinda Joint
No Kids And Always Tired!
For instance, a while back, I spoke to Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society about the etiquette for bringing children to weddings. They explained that it’s important to follow the wishes of the happy couple. So, if the couple asks its guests to leave their kids at home, the polite thing to do would be to adhere to their wishes.
“For guests, the standard (and best) etiquette these days is definitely to respect the wishes of the marrying couple when it comes to children at weddings, whether it be that kids of a certain age are welcome, only specific children of a few family and friends, or no kids at all,” the wedding experts told Bored Panda.
This Speaks To Me
One Could Also Choose The "God Will Provide" Route As We All Know That Free Money Is A Thing In This World
But you can't apply for animal support, yet you can apply for child support.
It’s Almost Summer!
“Please don’t take the inclusion or exclusion of your little ones personally (especially if the couple don’t have kids of their own to fully understand your situation) and remember—as nice as it is to bring your babies along to the celebration, it’s also an awesome opportunity for a fun night off if you’re asked to leave them with a sitter!” the experts said.
“For marrying couples, the etiquette can be trickier. Newborns really need to be with their parents so please don’t ask for any babies under a few months to be left at home. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask for parents of older children to take the night off and leave them with a sitter, but the fairest way to do this is to make a blanket rule for everyone rather than picking and choosing which kids can come and who can’t.”
Cheers!
Asking The Right Questions
The Look Of Horror On Every Passenger’s Face As Children Board The Plane
Previously, my colleague Liucija spoke to Amy Blackstone, author of ‘Childfree by Choice’ and a professor of sociology at the University of Maine. Amy told Bored Panda that more people are aware that living childfree is a viable option than ever before.
“That is largely thanks to the willingness of childfree people to speak out about their choice and of course to the decades-long work of reproductive justice advocates. Whether more people than in the past will ultimately remain childfree for their lifetimes remains to be seen,” the professor explained.
I Swear
My Friend Sent This To Me
Clever Girl
“Certainly more millennials are currently childfree than were previous generations at their age, but there hasn't been a dramatic increase in lifetime childlessness,” Amy noted. She added that, in time, it’ll become clear if today’s millennials are opting out of parenthood altogether or simply delaying starting a family.
“We know from all kinds of social science research that having kids is not required for living a complete, happy, and fulfilling life,” the professor told Bored Panda. “We now know that parenthood is simply one of many paths available to us,” she said that it’s due to more childfree people speaking out about their lifestyle.
This About Sums It Up
Or "before" and "after" photos of the stylish interior of their house.
Truth Hurts
Long Term Planning
Hallelujah
Ryan Reynolds Gets It!
Haha Not In This Economy!
This Guy Gets It
I'm now hearing under 25 to be too young. Strange it was thought of as an issue for you.
When You Become A Mother
Great View From Here
Lazy Saturdays Are My Kinda Thing!
The Correct Response
Gatekeeping Being Tired Is For The Birds
It Do Be Like That
Note: this post originally had 52 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
And please people. Consider if its ethical to have children. Many of us have inheritable diseases that should never be transmitted. I am tired of hearing cases of chronically ill parents with inheritable diseases that chose to have children. I am sorry but thats a monstruosity, condemning your children to pain and less opportunities in life. As a disabled woman I hate those kind of people. If you want kids thats fine, adopt and give a loving home to a child that needs it. But dont punish your children by forcing them to endure horrible illneses.
In my family it's depression and other forms of mental illness. I have not been immune and I decided early on that I would not be passing it on to another generation.
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It’s not just the people who don’t want or can’t have kids that get hassled. I had my son at 18, unexpected and unplanned but he’s wonderful. He’s 26 now and I’m 45. I still get people asking when I’m having the next as it’s “nearly too late”. I don’t understand why other people think it’s their business if you don’t want kids or don’t want more kids. There are so many personal reasons. I’ve had 25 years of this crap!.
Some people are always demanding stuff and are never happy. When a boyfriend? When are you marrying? When are having a child? When are you having another child? ...
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Having or not having children is such a personal choice( or, ideally, should be a choice), it shouldn't be put on public debate or as two fighting enemies. However, people thinking about having children should seriously think why, if they are up to the job both materially and emotionally. Children should not be had as insurance in old age, for your benefit or for only 18 years of care. One should know that once one becomes a parent, one is a parent FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE with all the responsibilities that come from that huge decision.
People thinking about having children need to think about a lot more than just themselves (“whether they are up to the job”). Think about the impact of having a child. Impact on others (family, expecting support/childcare, financial burden on the government and tax payers). Overpopulation. Resources running out. Pollution. All that disposable crap (nappies, toys, plastic, etc) you’re putting in to the world having a child. The future of the world and your child’s chances. The burden on them to care for you when you’re old. They’re also going to be left cleaning up the (environmental etc) mess of the current generation.
Load More Replies... Don't want kids, fine. There are people out there who do want and love their kids. To each their own.
I couldn't agree more with you. I've never wanted kids and I still don't. But I'm kind of sick of this kind of posts.
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I knew at 16 I never wanted kids. I just turned 66. I've never had one minute of regret. I retired at 62 and moved to a mountain villa near Valencia Spain. As I type this I'm on an impromptu trip to Bari, Italy because why not. In a month I'm spending Christmas visiting Christmas markets in three different Baltic countries because why not. I wouldn't trade my life for all the Huggies on the planet.
Baltics is great! Be sure to visit Christmas markets in Germany as well! Maybe next year? I highly recommend!
Load More Replies... I got so fed up with being asked why I don’t have kids that I now give people a “full explanation”. If people want to be incredibly rude and intrusive in my life, well, you’re getting the full story and I don’t care about making you feel awkward. So, no, I don’t have kids because I have endometriosis. That means I have tissue from my uterus spread throughout my abdomen. That means that every month I don’t just bleed from my vsgina, I also bleed into my abdomen, my bladder and my bowels. I get very ill and also pee and poop blood. This is very painful. It also means that I have had so many operations they can’t operate anymore due to scar tissue and, just as an extra thing, I can’t have kids. Did you have another question? They want to over intrude, I will over share!
Chose to be child-free from age 17. Was denigrated, berated and quietly mocked for my immaturity. I quietly acknowledged that misery loves company. My friends with kids have ordinary lives with stabs of joy. I have a joyful life with stabs of ordinariness. I'm now 57 mentoring talented, emerging filmmakers. No nappies. No tantrums. No ingratitude. I win.
To all who appreciate these posts, you seriously enjoy a book called 10:59 by N R Baker. Why do people actually have kids? Mostly because society, their parents or religion demands it. And yet the population of the planet is spiralling out of control. Honestly, this novel completely changed the way I see the world, and questioned everything I ever thought about life. It's also a damn fine thriller and beautifully written. Highly recommend it for anyone who isn't a sheep.
I have a hereditary condition that results in miscarriages. My mom had it too, so she understands, yet she’s still pressuring me to have kids and marry at 20 like she did. Honey, just because I liked working in the nursery does not mean I want to have kids. Actually it convinced that I really don’t, because I was exhausted after spending 3 hours with babies and toddlers. Also, getting married at 20 is crazy and I don’t want to do that either. To be honest, I doubt I’ll have relationships at all; my mental health is too dysfunctional and I don’t want to put that burden on someone (also, I’m socially awkward and ugly af)
You deserve so much better than to settle down and get married and have kids at 20!! Mom's pressure is probably coming from a weird biological place of her own (wanting grandkids). I'm sorry you're going through that. I wish you the best in your childfree life!!
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I have 2 amazing kids. They were both very much wanted and I haven't regretted them for a second. That being said, if you don't want kids, for the love of all that is holy, please don't have them. It's true that they take over your life. Every single decision and plan I make has to be done with my kids in mind. That's a recipe for resentment for anyone who isn't 100% on board.
I totally agree with you, but there is one thing- wanting to have kids and your fantasty about having them is usually very much different from reality. I guess you may want to have kids with all your heart and still you cannot preparaty or imagine what is’s gonna be like with your first child. I guess you may have second thoughts no matter how much you wanted a child.
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And also, it's not a bad thing to regret not having had children. It can happen. That is still a million times better than regretting you did have children.
This, so much! It's way better to regret not having children than to regret having them.
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The decision not to have kids is reasonable, and having kids can cost resources and freedom. But that doesn't mean it's okay to actually hate children. Children are people.
It is perfectly fine to dislike children. Or do you need to like everything nowadays?
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I love kids, but I really don't want them. I have a need for more alone time than a child can accommodate without me traumatizing them.
I’m a lucky man who has a daughter and my partner has a son and a daughter, we both love all of our children and all of the trials and tribulations that go along with them, it’s what we both want in our lives but much like my taste in music it’s my choice for me and I’ll only share my choice if you directly ask me for my opinion, otherwise I’ll not even think about your choice of music or indeed children, you do you, I’ll do me and we’ll all get along just fine. PS if you wish to try a child for a few days I’ll rent mine to you at very competitive rates and you’ll soon decide that 1000 questions an hour might not be for you 😀😂
Female teenager here. I dont want kids, as I've had experiences with LOTS of young children (being kicked, yelled at, punched, the list goes on...) and personally, I just dont want to deal with it, because I know for a fact that I was a nightmare for my parents when I was younger (still now but its unintentional), and I've seen how moms look exhausted. Societies expectations for women to have children just seems odd to me. Like its my body, why do you feel the need to tell me what I can and cant do?
I made the decision at 13 not to have children. My mother & sister said I'd change my mind. Here I am almost fifty years later, still childless. Mom is gone, sister has accepted (finally) my decision - realizing that that ship sailed a long, long time ago.
Met my mom’s cousin and coworker yesterday, I mentioned I have a stepdaughter, and she asked “can you have kids?” My jaw hit the floor and eyebrows hit the ceiling. Being polite, instead of saying I do not want to have any myself, I told her I’ve never tried, but I’m 40yrs old, she could have put two and two together, but of course she said “oh, don’t worry, you will” 🙄
More power to the people who don’t want kids. I don’t know why people bother to bug others about having children. The only advice I gave to my sons about having children is, “seriously considering whether you really want to bring kids into this world, climate change and overpopulation is rampant. Ultimately it’s you and your partner’s choice but I just really think about it” I would prefer to see my bloodline end than my descendants suffering.
Just mind your god damned business and we're all good. Whatever eff-ed up justification these people have in their minds that procreating is a person's holy mission in life, is simply hogwash. If propagating the race is your holy mission, why don't you adopt then? Those kids need care and guidance to grow up into productive members of society too. Hypocrites.
I have a child. That was a choice I made. I don't regret it. She is the joy of my life. A good number of my friends do not have children. That's fine. A good number of my friends do have children. That's fine. I don't believe one lifestyle is better or worse than the other. It's just a choice. Fact is, NOT having children should be the default. If you DO choose to reproduce, you should give it serious thought and understand all the personal and global consequences of it. I would never think of questioning anybody's choice about not having kids. It's the easier of the two choices to understand!
Just want to point to out that if you have just 1 tiny human (purposely) everyone then says aww he can't be an only child, you need to give him a little brother or sister blah blah blah.... Why you gonna pay for a 2nd kid? Are you going to find someone for me to procreate with and form a stable relationship? Is any of this any of your damn business? It's not?! Well I'm shocked
Is this something American? In my 46 years I have never heard anyone ask or try to force someone to have children. Except for a few who wants to become grandmother.
Latin America is full of this, even complete strangers will ask you if you have children and berate you if you say no.
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This is myself and my roommate hands over. Why would we want to have kids. We can barely afford our rent in a two bedroom apartment? Or our own medical bills. Or having a moment to ourselves? Don't get me wrong. Kids are adorable sometimes. But what's even better? Me sitting in my bedroom with no noise. Enjoying reading. Or just being lazy. Plus. We have kids. Cats. We love them like our own.
Some of us don't want to become our parents! My dad was not a normal dad. He never taught me anything. No sports, nothing. Do you have any idea what it's like to go through school being the one kid that doesn't know anything about baseball or football? Don't know any team names, player names, rules of the games or how to play. My dad made zero effort. As such I wouldn't know how to raise a kid, especially a son and I darn sure wasn't going to try and learn how as an adult by using a kid as a likely failed parenting experiment. My family bloodline ends with me and I have no regrets about that.
Luckily my mother used to say to us (my sister and myself) 'You better not have kids and expect me to babysit while you go out to work!' which means we're both over 40 and have no kids and I'm very glad I don't have kids as I have to live with a chronic illness and I certainly couldn't cope with kids at the same time.
I knew I did not want kids. After blowing out my left knee in the 1980’s, I offered some friends some help. They were full time emergency workers and I was basically free floating, trying to avoid homelessness ( I put it for for 7 years). Went to the mountains to help my friends raise their kids. Never regretted a moment. I left when everyone could basically fend for themselves. All the kids I sat for and cared for are on my FB page and I love that.
I'm all for the people who choose not to have kids, but many people are prepared to make the necessary sacrifices to have them. Nothing wrong with having kids. There is something wrong with having them when you don't want them and are not prepared to share a significant part of your life. I have kids. I'm done having kids, but I enjoy other people's kids. They're usually pretty cute(not just physically) and interesting.
Kinda awkward reading all the kid-hating stuff as a minor haha Idk if ever want kids of my own, but I'd definitely want to foster children if I ever did.
I don't get this, why do people care if someone has kids or not?? Weird. I have 4 kids, wouldn't trade them for the world, but I couldn't care less if you have kids or not...
IN MY OPINION WHICH YOUR PROBABLY ALL SICK OF BY NOW [460- POINTS AND COUNTING] IS THAT NO ONE SHOULD BE TOLD OR FELT PRESSURISED INTO HAVING BABYS, BUT NO ONE SHOULD FEEL OR BE SHAMED OR DISCRIMINATEDN AGAINST BECAUSE THEY DECIDE TO HAVE BABYS EITHER IT HAS TO WORK BOTH WAYS PEOPLE, PEOPLE MAKE CHOICES HOPEFULLY YOUR ADULT ENOUGH TO RESPECT BOTH.
Its everyone's choice if they wanna have kids or not. Society's work is to criticize our decisions.
Your capslock key is stuck. and the world would not have been over. In fact, it will probably do a shitload better without humans actively destroying it.
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I'm happy for you that kids changed your life for the better, but you are DEAD wrong if you think your experience applies to everybody. I know a LOT of people who didn't manage to step up after having kids, and I know the damaged people they raised.
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¨I don't know why more people haven't tried this¨ because it is a pyramid scheme maybe?
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I did none of that. And if I accidently was a nuisance, my parents intervened.
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Yeah and we're tired of hearing how sad and empty our lives would be if we don't reproduce.
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Not liking kids is a perfectly fine choice. We are quiet in our dislike and dont bother you for having them. Unlike so many parents that harass you for being childfree.
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What a patronising comment. I'm not childless, I'm child-free. I'm also far from lonely.
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Wht are you childfree and still acting like an entitled parent? BP is free, you don't get to complain about free stuff you choose to watch, move on to the next article.
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Oh I’m just so sure you’re constantly being bashed for having kids. That definitely happens to you all the time. For sure.
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And? What's your point. I know I was a d**k when I was a kid. Most kids are d***s at least some of the time. That doesn't mean we aren't allowed to not like them.
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Lol y'all have been forcing your idea that people HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN OTHERWISE THE WORLD WILL END since the dawn of time. Sorry, but we're smart enough to know it will never stop.
Load More Replies... And please people. Consider if its ethical to have children. Many of us have inheritable diseases that should never be transmitted. I am tired of hearing cases of chronically ill parents with inheritable diseases that chose to have children. I am sorry but thats a monstruosity, condemning your children to pain and less opportunities in life. As a disabled woman I hate those kind of people. If you want kids thats fine, adopt and give a loving home to a child that needs it. But dont punish your children by forcing them to endure horrible illneses.
In my family it's depression and other forms of mental illness. I have not been immune and I decided early on that I would not be passing it on to another generation.
Load More Replies... It’s not just the people who don’t want or can’t have kids that get hassled. I had my son at 18, unexpected and unplanned but he’s wonderful. He’s 26 now and I’m 45. I still get people asking when I’m having the next as it’s “nearly too late”. I don’t understand why other people think it’s their business if you don’t want kids or don’t want more kids. There are so many personal reasons. I’ve had 25 years of this crap!.
Some people are always demanding stuff and are never happy. When a boyfriend? When are you marrying? When are having a child? When are you having another child? ...
Load More Replies... Having or not having children is such a personal choice( or, ideally, should be a choice), it shouldn't be put on public debate or as two fighting enemies. However, people thinking about having children should seriously think why, if they are up to the job both materially and emotionally. Children should not be had as insurance in old age, for your benefit or for only 18 years of care. One should know that once one becomes a parent, one is a parent FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE with all the responsibilities that come from that huge decision.
People thinking about having children need to think about a lot more than just themselves (“whether they are up to the job”). Think about the impact of having a child. Impact on others (family, expecting support/childcare, financial burden on the government and tax payers). Overpopulation. Resources running out. Pollution. All that disposable crap (nappies, toys, plastic, etc) you’re putting in to the world having a child. The future of the world and your child’s chances. The burden on them to care for you when you’re old. They’re also going to be left cleaning up the (environmental etc) mess of the current generation.
Load More Replies... Don't want kids, fine. There are people out there who do want and love their kids. To each their own.
I couldn't agree more with you. I've never wanted kids and I still don't. But I'm kind of sick of this kind of posts.
Load More Replies... I knew at 16 I never wanted kids. I just turned 66. I've never had one minute of regret. I retired at 62 and moved to a mountain villa near Valencia Spain. As I type this I'm on an impromptu trip to Bari, Italy because why not. In a month I'm spending Christmas visiting Christmas markets in three different Baltic countries because why not. I wouldn't trade my life for all the Huggies on the planet.
Baltics is great! Be sure to visit Christmas markets in Germany as well! Maybe next year? I highly recommend!
Load More Replies... I got so fed up with being asked why I don’t have kids that I now give people a “full explanation”. If people want to be incredibly rude and intrusive in my life, well, you’re getting the full story and I don’t care about making you feel awkward. So, no, I don’t have kids because I have endometriosis. That means I have tissue from my uterus spread throughout my abdomen. That means that every month I don’t just bleed from my vsgina, I also bleed into my abdomen, my bladder and my bowels. I get very ill and also pee and poop blood. This is very painful. It also means that I have had so many operations they can’t operate anymore due to scar tissue and, just as an extra thing, I can’t have kids. Did you have another question? They want to over intrude, I will over share!
Chose to be child-free from age 17. Was denigrated, berated and quietly mocked for my immaturity. I quietly acknowledged that misery loves company. My friends with kids have ordinary lives with stabs of joy. I have a joyful life with stabs of ordinariness. I'm now 57 mentoring talented, emerging filmmakers. No nappies. No tantrums. No ingratitude. I win.
To all who appreciate these posts, you seriously enjoy a book called 10:59 by N R Baker. Why do people actually have kids? Mostly because society, their parents or religion demands it. And yet the population of the planet is spiralling out of control. Honestly, this novel completely changed the way I see the world, and questioned everything I ever thought about life. It's also a damn fine thriller and beautifully written. Highly recommend it for anyone who isn't a sheep.
I have a hereditary condition that results in miscarriages. My mom had it too, so she understands, yet she’s still pressuring me to have kids and marry at 20 like she did. Honey, just because I liked working in the nursery does not mean I want to have kids. Actually it convinced that I really don’t, because I was exhausted after spending 3 hours with babies and toddlers. Also, getting married at 20 is crazy and I don’t want to do that either. To be honest, I doubt I’ll have relationships at all; my mental health is too dysfunctional and I don’t want to put that burden on someone (also, I’m socially awkward and ugly af)
You deserve so much better than to settle down and get married and have kids at 20!! Mom's pressure is probably coming from a weird biological place of her own (wanting grandkids). I'm sorry you're going through that. I wish you the best in your childfree life!!
Load More Replies... I have 2 amazing kids. They were both very much wanted and I haven't regretted them for a second. That being said, if you don't want kids, for the love of all that is holy, please don't have them. It's true that they take over your life. Every single decision and plan I make has to be done with my kids in mind. That's a recipe for resentment for anyone who isn't 100% on board.
I totally agree with you, but there is one thing- wanting to have kids and your fantasty about having them is usually very much different from reality. I guess you may want to have kids with all your heart and still you cannot preparaty or imagine what is’s gonna be like with your first child. I guess you may have second thoughts no matter how much you wanted a child.
Load More Replies... And also, it's not a bad thing to regret not having had children. It can happen. That is still a million times better than regretting you did have children.
This, so much! It's way better to regret not having children than to regret having them.
Load More Replies... The decision not to have kids is reasonable, and having kids can cost resources and freedom. But that doesn't mean it's okay to actually hate children. Children are people.
It is perfectly fine to dislike children. Or do you need to like everything nowadays?
Load More Replies... I love kids, but I really don't want them. I have a need for more alone time than a child can accommodate without me traumatizing them.
I’m a lucky man who has a daughter and my partner has a son and a daughter, we both love all of our children and all of the trials and tribulations that go along with them, it’s what we both want in our lives but much like my taste in music it’s my choice for me and I’ll only share my choice if you directly ask me for my opinion, otherwise I’ll not even think about your choice of music or indeed children, you do you, I’ll do me and we’ll all get along just fine. PS if you wish to try a child for a few days I’ll rent mine to you at very competitive rates and you’ll soon decide that 1000 questions an hour might not be for you 😀😂
Female teenager here. I dont want kids, as I've had experiences with LOTS of young children (being kicked, yelled at, punched, the list goes on...) and personally, I just dont want to deal with it, because I know for a fact that I was a nightmare for my parents when I was younger (still now but its unintentional), and I've seen how moms look exhausted. Societies expectations for women to have children just seems odd to me. Like its my body, why do you feel the need to tell me what I can and cant do?
I made the decision at 13 not to have children. My mother & sister said I'd change my mind. Here I am almost fifty years later, still childless. Mom is gone, sister has accepted (finally) my decision - realizing that that ship sailed a long, long time ago.
Met my mom’s cousin and coworker yesterday, I mentioned I have a stepdaughter, and she asked “can you have kids?” My jaw hit the floor and eyebrows hit the ceiling. Being polite, instead of saying I do not want to have any myself, I told her I’ve never tried, but I’m 40yrs old, she could have put two and two together, but of course she said “oh, don’t worry, you will” 🙄
More power to the people who don’t want kids. I don’t know why people bother to bug others about having children. The only advice I gave to my sons about having children is, “seriously considering whether you really want to bring kids into this world, climate change and overpopulation is rampant. Ultimately it’s you and your partner’s choice but I just really think about it” I would prefer to see my bloodline end than my descendants suffering.
Just mind your god damned business and we're all good. Whatever eff-ed up justification these people have in their minds that procreating is a person's holy mission in life, is simply hogwash. If propagating the race is your holy mission, why don't you adopt then? Those kids need care and guidance to grow up into productive members of society too. Hypocrites.
I have a child. That was a choice I made. I don't regret it. She is the joy of my life. A good number of my friends do not have children. That's fine. A good number of my friends do have children. That's fine. I don't believe one lifestyle is better or worse than the other. It's just a choice. Fact is, NOT having children should be the default. If you DO choose to reproduce, you should give it serious thought and understand all the personal and global consequences of it. I would never think of questioning anybody's choice about not having kids. It's the easier of the two choices to understand!
Just want to point to out that if you have just 1 tiny human (purposely) everyone then says aww he can't be an only child, you need to give him a little brother or sister blah blah blah.... Why you gonna pay for a 2nd kid? Are you going to find someone for me to procreate with and form a stable relationship? Is any of this any of your damn business? It's not?! Well I'm shocked
Is this something American? In my 46 years I have never heard anyone ask or try to force someone to have children. Except for a few who wants to become grandmother.
Latin America is full of this, even complete strangers will ask you if you have children and berate you if you say no.
Load More Replies... This is myself and my roommate hands over. Why would we want to have kids. We can barely afford our rent in a two bedroom apartment? Or our own medical bills. Or having a moment to ourselves? Don't get me wrong. Kids are adorable sometimes. But what's even better? Me sitting in my bedroom with no noise. Enjoying reading. Or just being lazy. Plus. We have kids. Cats. We love them like our own.
Some of us don't want to become our parents! My dad was not a normal dad. He never taught me anything. No sports, nothing. Do you have any idea what it's like to go through school being the one kid that doesn't know anything about baseball or football? Don't know any team names, player names, rules of the games or how to play. My dad made zero effort. As such I wouldn't know how to raise a kid, especially a son and I darn sure wasn't going to try and learn how as an adult by using a kid as a likely failed parenting experiment. My family bloodline ends with me and I have no regrets about that.
Luckily my mother used to say to us (my sister and myself) 'You better not have kids and expect me to babysit while you go out to work!' which means we're both over 40 and have no kids and I'm very glad I don't have kids as I have to live with a chronic illness and I certainly couldn't cope with kids at the same time.
I knew I did not want kids. After blowing out my left knee in the 1980’s, I offered some friends some help. They were full time emergency workers and I was basically free floating, trying to avoid homelessness ( I put it for for 7 years). Went to the mountains to help my friends raise their kids. Never regretted a moment. I left when everyone could basically fend for themselves. All the kids I sat for and cared for are on my FB page and I love that.
I'm all for the people who choose not to have kids, but many people are prepared to make the necessary sacrifices to have them. Nothing wrong with having kids. There is something wrong with having them when you don't want them and are not prepared to share a significant part of your life. I have kids. I'm done having kids, but I enjoy other people's kids. They're usually pretty cute(not just physically) and interesting.
Kinda awkward reading all the kid-hating stuff as a minor haha Idk if ever want kids of my own, but I'd definitely want to foster children if I ever did.
I don't get this, why do people care if someone has kids or not?? Weird. I have 4 kids, wouldn't trade them for the world, but I couldn't care less if you have kids or not...
IN MY OPINION WHICH YOUR PROBABLY ALL SICK OF BY NOW [460- POINTS AND COUNTING] IS THAT NO ONE SHOULD BE TOLD OR FELT PRESSURISED INTO HAVING BABYS, BUT NO ONE SHOULD FEEL OR BE SHAMED OR DISCRIMINATEDN AGAINST BECAUSE THEY DECIDE TO HAVE BABYS EITHER IT HAS TO WORK BOTH WAYS PEOPLE, PEOPLE MAKE CHOICES HOPEFULLY YOUR ADULT ENOUGH TO RESPECT BOTH.
Its everyone's choice if they wanna have kids or not. Society's work is to criticize our decisions.
Your capslock key is stuck. and the world would not have been over. In fact, it will probably do a shitload better without humans actively destroying it.
Load More Replies... I'm happy for you that kids changed your life for the better, but you are DEAD wrong if you think your experience applies to everybody. I know a LOT of people who didn't manage to step up after having kids, and I know the damaged people they raised.
Load More Replies... ¨I don't know why more people haven't tried this¨ because it is a pyramid scheme maybe?
Load More Replies... I did none of that. And if I accidently was a nuisance, my parents intervened.
Load More Replies... Yeah and we're tired of hearing how sad and empty our lives would be if we don't reproduce.
Load More Replies... Not liking kids is a perfectly fine choice. We are quiet in our dislike and dont bother you for having them. Unlike so many parents that harass you for being childfree.
Load More Replies... What a patronising comment. I'm not childless, I'm child-free. I'm also far from lonely.
Load More Replies... Wht are you childfree and still acting like an entitled parent? BP is free, you don't get to complain about free stuff you choose to watch, move on to the next article.
Load More Replies... Oh I’m just so sure you’re constantly being bashed for having kids. That definitely happens to you all the time. For sure.
Load More Replies... And? What's your point. I know I was a d**k when I was a kid. Most kids are d***s at least some of the time. That doesn't mean we aren't allowed to not like them.
Load More Replies... Lol y'all have been forcing your idea that people HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN OTHERWISE THE WORLD WILL END since the dawn of time. Sorry, but we're smart enough to know it will never stop.
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