10 Years After A Catholic Hospital Suggested Getting An Abortion, This Photographer Shows How Beautiful Her Son With Down Syndrome Is
Kintsugi is a Japanese form of art that uses lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum to repair broken pottery pieces by mending them together. This art technique also follows the philosophy where breakage and repair are treated as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. One photographer used this exact technique to celebrate what some would see as imperfections in her son’s body.
A couple weeks ago, Erin Witkowski shared a touching series of photographs dedicated to her son, Grady. She wrote a touching story next to the pictures showcasing Grady in front of a stained glass window, as well as gold flakes delicately placed against his skin. Turns out, those visually compelling details were chosen for a very specific reason.
Erin recalls the day from 10 years ago when she was 21 weeks pregnant with Grady. “This day changed my life forever,” the mother revealed. She described the details that stuck in her memory the most: “I remember the large wooden desk the doctor sat at and the stained glass that towered behind him. It was a cloudy day but the soft light danced through the windows and into my eyes. Grady’s tiny feet [were] kicking my belly as my husband grabbed my hand so we could sit down.” That day, she found out her son has Down Syndrome.
Bored Panda reached out to Erin to hear more about their family and she replied with plenty of details. “We are a family of 6,” Erin introduced her family, “We have 4 kiddos! Mason – 12, Grady – 10, June – 7, and River – 3.” She went on to explain: “Grady is our second born. Paul, my husband (& high school sweetheart) is a Veteran who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. We married 13 years ago after his 4th tour when he got out of the military. Paul stormed Iraq when we first went in so he was ready to get out after 4 tours. He became a police officer in Charlotte, NC after getting out and is now working for the government in law enforcement here in NY.”
More info: erinwitkowski.pass.us | Instagram | Facebook
Erin recently shared touching photos of her son Grady to celebrate his tenth birthday
The photographer also told the personal story behind the photoshoot
The family resides in Port Jervis, NY. “We were able to buy back my childhood home 19 years after my parents sold it. We are nestled in an old hunting club with 1200 acres and a few lakes. The kids LOVE it! We love to fish, hike, and explore,” Erin detailed.
“I am a full-time professional family photographer for 12 years but truly found my voice and vision after having Grady. He allowed me to see beauty in a whole new way, he gave me the gift of patience as well,” the mother explained, “I see humans as they are and find Grady has given me the gift to accept people in a beautiful way.” The photographer also revealed that she loves traveling the country to photograph families and connect with people to tell their stories.
Erin told us more about Grady, his personality, and his everyday life:
“This is the first year Grady is in school with his siblings. They all go to our local public school together. Grady is THE MAYOR! His personality is HUGE! He LOVES to dance and sing and be the center of attention…He struggles with his words as he has apraxia of speech but this past year, we have had a language explosion. He is very active and healthy… HE LOVES CHURCH! We actually drive 1 hour and 30 minutes every Sunday to attend Liquid Church in Parsippany, NJ, because they have this AMAZING special needs ministry, they make him feel at home and our whole family loved. It is otherworldly the way they make each child accepted no matter their abilities ….it’s a safe place to land at the end of the week….he loves chores and to have a sense of purpose! We are always on some level of heightened watch to care for him since he is a roamer/runner but that seems to be getting better as he gets older. He LOVES his mama!”
“I always say his joy never outweighs his struggles,” the mother reiterated. “That’s the thing about a prenatal diagnosis… it doesn’t predict the soul,” she stressed.
Erin also discussed why she thinks her photo series on Grady went viral:
“I think these photos are shared so widely because they put a beautiful light on often very harsh medical terminology. When a woman first hears nuchal fold, it may put an unknown fear that these photos have now painted in gold… the juxtaposition stops you in your tracks. When the vision came to me… I cried…. (my exact words from that post speak directly to my heart on the images.) Bringing Grady to stained glass was a full circle and healing moment for me. I carry the weight of those words and experience with me every single day. I can remember every moment and detail of the day we found out, and I will never forget that stained glass behind the doctor’s office desk… Grady kicked me so hard that day, the way my hands were sweating, my heart raced and that light made its way through that glass as his words spoke the diagnosis and his timeline for a decision.”
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Share on FacebookShe decided to never go back to that doctor because...he gave her a choice? Wow, he is truly evil incarnate.
It's all in how you say it. Irony: catholic hospitals won't do abortions, but told her to get one.
Load More Replies...My surgeon thought I was being funny when I shared my enthusiasm about using glitter and paint over my scars when they heal. I want to celebrate it as an example of medical, physical, and human advancement. It’ll probably end up existing, just there with me as I go about my day.
This anti-abortion jesus bullsh*t shouldn't be allowed on here. Abortion is a very hard and personal choice and is never made lightly. If women do it, don't shame them. They'll live with the pain for the rest of their lives.
I just shared my story, my story that is mine to share... I didn't bash other's who made the choice not to keep their children with down syndrome, merely pointing out that it isn't as frightening as the diagnosis. I am open to hearing about everyone's faith without judgement and hope that my story might calm fears of a parent who just received a diagnosis and wants a different perspective :)
Load More Replies...I have mixed feelings about this. I get the sentiment behind it and it's a touching story. But I feel like saying you have done Kintsugi on him says that he was broken and needed to be fixed, to be better.
She explains this in the article. She focused on the things the world calls broken, or that they call "markers" of Down Syndrome, and filled them with gold signifying their beauty. As she said, the art of kintsugi makes things better than the original.
Load More Replies...Catholic hospitals don't do abortions. And the author stated the doctor said she had a two week window to decide. That's a good physician providing called all the choices, good and bad, because it's a patient's decision, not the doctor's. If a doctor chooses to edit choices before they tell a patient, then they're not a good doctor because they're practicing medicine edited by their personal belief system. I think her child is truly beautiful, but the lede and the catholic inference is misleading, but did its job because it got our attention enough open her article and get us to view her photos.
I agree. I don't know why there was a need to make the doctor a villain in this tale.
Load More Replies...Great pics. That said, I have a hard time believing Erin's story. She said the doctor's office was in a Catholic hospital. Catholic hospitals don't allow abortions, and I doubt they would even have a doctor on staff who would suggest an abortion, even if it were at a place other than the hospital.
They SHOULD give woman all their options even if this is not something they can perform. However, much like learning the sex of the baby, you can often decline the information about birth defects if you have no intention of terminating the pregnancy.
Load More Replies...My son is now 57 years old. i tell him often that he has been the greatest blessing of my life.
So sweet...really filled me up today, I know a boy with Down Syndrome and he is the nicest little dude I know!
I am so glad she didn’t abort. In the pictures, he seems so sweet and innocent. The gold leaf ties it all together.
beautiful story and beautiful message. Heartbreaking that some countries boast of downs syndrome being 'eradicated' when really they're just killing off unborn children. Horrible eugenics.
So I think the title was set up to make people outraged. Women should be told what their options are. Also, you can skip the test that tells you whether or not your child may have certain genetic flaws/birth defects. So they chose to get this information and then the doctor told them the legal and medical ramifications.
I think kids with Downs are some of the most loving kids on this planet. If I were young enough and had the money to do so, I would adot one.
To echo the others here, this women can't see the forest for the trees. On one hand she has all this love to give, and on the other she's a mean and hateful person. The doctor merely told her a fact, a fact that many people aren't prepared to handle and they'd like to get an abortion. Informing people about medical issues and telling them their options is not a bad thing. Doing ANYTHING else would've made him bad. She has it backwards.
So the doctor should've kept his/her mouth shut about abortion as an option? Oh grow up. You were ready to have a down child, many are not and that's their right and their choice. You kept the baby, good for you I guess but that has nothing to do with your god.
That suggestion was only for purpose of social eugenics, not basic understanding of your choices.
Load More Replies...why does he have gold leaf on him? ( just a question not trying to be disrespectful)
Lol. Why use the tag catholic hospital?? Some strong catholics are very against abortions, so people say oh catholics... And then there are some who are ok with abortions and were given a choice, and then again... Oh catholics. Really hard to impress people.
totally not a lie. just because my story doesn''t fit the mold, doesn't mean it shouldn't be shared....
Load More Replies...that's a glitch that happens on BP refresh the page and you will notice that they never posted. Had to me a few times lol.
Load More Replies...People with any medical or mental ailment are not broken. They are strong survivors that have just as much right to be in this world as you do. They are unique and not like the sheeple that think their only reason for existence is to prove they have more money than their friend/neighbors..they're more religious than their fellow parishioners...and that they are more important than everyone else. They fail to realize that the purpose for their existence is to leave this world a better place than when you came into it. So far...we're not doing a very good job of that.
A catholic hospital??? Why does that even exist? What the hell has religion got to do with medical treatment? The same goes for education. Religion should be banned from having any effect on these things.
Because in the United States many medical facilities as well as other services were set up by religious groups long before there were established government services because they had the money, the education and the drive to take care of people. Even now the United States government relies on nonprofits and religious groups to provide services that other countries provide to their people.
Load More Replies...And a catholic hospital would never allow molestation to happen either right? The church is flawed, all humans are flawed... Unfortunately suggesting abortion IS happening in catholic hospitals, because it happened to me and others I know.
Load More Replies...I don't think you understood the meaning of the words pro-choice. She had a choice and she made it. Why would anyone have a fit about that? That's literally the thing pro-choicers want.
Load More Replies...She decided to never go back to that doctor because...he gave her a choice? Wow, he is truly evil incarnate.
It's all in how you say it. Irony: catholic hospitals won't do abortions, but told her to get one.
Load More Replies...My surgeon thought I was being funny when I shared my enthusiasm about using glitter and paint over my scars when they heal. I want to celebrate it as an example of medical, physical, and human advancement. It’ll probably end up existing, just there with me as I go about my day.
This anti-abortion jesus bullsh*t shouldn't be allowed on here. Abortion is a very hard and personal choice and is never made lightly. If women do it, don't shame them. They'll live with the pain for the rest of their lives.
I just shared my story, my story that is mine to share... I didn't bash other's who made the choice not to keep their children with down syndrome, merely pointing out that it isn't as frightening as the diagnosis. I am open to hearing about everyone's faith without judgement and hope that my story might calm fears of a parent who just received a diagnosis and wants a different perspective :)
Load More Replies...I have mixed feelings about this. I get the sentiment behind it and it's a touching story. But I feel like saying you have done Kintsugi on him says that he was broken and needed to be fixed, to be better.
She explains this in the article. She focused on the things the world calls broken, or that they call "markers" of Down Syndrome, and filled them with gold signifying their beauty. As she said, the art of kintsugi makes things better than the original.
Load More Replies...Catholic hospitals don't do abortions. And the author stated the doctor said she had a two week window to decide. That's a good physician providing called all the choices, good and bad, because it's a patient's decision, not the doctor's. If a doctor chooses to edit choices before they tell a patient, then they're not a good doctor because they're practicing medicine edited by their personal belief system. I think her child is truly beautiful, but the lede and the catholic inference is misleading, but did its job because it got our attention enough open her article and get us to view her photos.
I agree. I don't know why there was a need to make the doctor a villain in this tale.
Load More Replies...Great pics. That said, I have a hard time believing Erin's story. She said the doctor's office was in a Catholic hospital. Catholic hospitals don't allow abortions, and I doubt they would even have a doctor on staff who would suggest an abortion, even if it were at a place other than the hospital.
They SHOULD give woman all their options even if this is not something they can perform. However, much like learning the sex of the baby, you can often decline the information about birth defects if you have no intention of terminating the pregnancy.
Load More Replies...My son is now 57 years old. i tell him often that he has been the greatest blessing of my life.
So sweet...really filled me up today, I know a boy with Down Syndrome and he is the nicest little dude I know!
I am so glad she didn’t abort. In the pictures, he seems so sweet and innocent. The gold leaf ties it all together.
beautiful story and beautiful message. Heartbreaking that some countries boast of downs syndrome being 'eradicated' when really they're just killing off unborn children. Horrible eugenics.
So I think the title was set up to make people outraged. Women should be told what their options are. Also, you can skip the test that tells you whether or not your child may have certain genetic flaws/birth defects. So they chose to get this information and then the doctor told them the legal and medical ramifications.
I think kids with Downs are some of the most loving kids on this planet. If I were young enough and had the money to do so, I would adot one.
To echo the others here, this women can't see the forest for the trees. On one hand she has all this love to give, and on the other she's a mean and hateful person. The doctor merely told her a fact, a fact that many people aren't prepared to handle and they'd like to get an abortion. Informing people about medical issues and telling them their options is not a bad thing. Doing ANYTHING else would've made him bad. She has it backwards.
So the doctor should've kept his/her mouth shut about abortion as an option? Oh grow up. You were ready to have a down child, many are not and that's their right and their choice. You kept the baby, good for you I guess but that has nothing to do with your god.
That suggestion was only for purpose of social eugenics, not basic understanding of your choices.
Load More Replies...why does he have gold leaf on him? ( just a question not trying to be disrespectful)
Lol. Why use the tag catholic hospital?? Some strong catholics are very against abortions, so people say oh catholics... And then there are some who are ok with abortions and were given a choice, and then again... Oh catholics. Really hard to impress people.
totally not a lie. just because my story doesn''t fit the mold, doesn't mean it shouldn't be shared....
Load More Replies...that's a glitch that happens on BP refresh the page and you will notice that they never posted. Had to me a few times lol.
Load More Replies...People with any medical or mental ailment are not broken. They are strong survivors that have just as much right to be in this world as you do. They are unique and not like the sheeple that think their only reason for existence is to prove they have more money than their friend/neighbors..they're more religious than their fellow parishioners...and that they are more important than everyone else. They fail to realize that the purpose for their existence is to leave this world a better place than when you came into it. So far...we're not doing a very good job of that.
A catholic hospital??? Why does that even exist? What the hell has religion got to do with medical treatment? The same goes for education. Religion should be banned from having any effect on these things.
Because in the United States many medical facilities as well as other services were set up by religious groups long before there were established government services because they had the money, the education and the drive to take care of people. Even now the United States government relies on nonprofits and religious groups to provide services that other countries provide to their people.
Load More Replies...And a catholic hospital would never allow molestation to happen either right? The church is flawed, all humans are flawed... Unfortunately suggesting abortion IS happening in catholic hospitals, because it happened to me and others I know.
Load More Replies...I don't think you understood the meaning of the words pro-choice. She had a choice and she made it. Why would anyone have a fit about that? That's literally the thing pro-choicers want.
Load More Replies...
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