Someone Asks How They Can Stop Feeling Guilty After Their Cat Dies In Their Bedroom, The Internet Delivers
Losing something is hard, but losing someone is devastating. Broken and lost after the loss of their cat, someone turned to Quora to ask the internet for a good way to recover. Sharing their own experiences, people united for the cause. After the responses came in, the thread became a good place to visit if you are mourning yourself and need some encouragement that things will be alright, or if someone close to you is suffering and you’re searching for words of wisdom that would make them feel better. Scroll down to read it and tell us your thoughts in the comments.
Losing a pet is devastating to the very core
Image credits: uzi978 (not actual photo)
Broken and lost after the death of their cat, someone turned to the internet for a good way to recover
And probably didn’t expect such a sincere response
There were more
And while some shared their own experiences
Others were really moved by the whole thread
I was the first one to find our cat when she died. She had the most amazing death you could imagine - sleeping on one of her favourite spots, sun shining, after everyone except me went to work or school and said goodbye to her. I was really attached to her. Just about a month before there were two weeks that I spent completely alone. I was 18, had a summer job (9AM-5PM) in a separate office with no one to talk to, my sisters went away for a camp, my parents on a holiday trying to restart their relationship, all friends out of town. I got maybe two texts for the whole two weeks. No phone calls; when I tried to call my parents they sounded annoyed, they were enjoying their free time without children way to much. The only one I truly had at that time was our cat. Matilda. She was there, I needed to take care of her while in reality, she was taking care of me. I had someone to talk to, to come home to. I sometimes think that she died just after these lonely two weeks for me. And that she wanted me to be the one to find her. Sorry for the long story...I just had to get it out.
I have a similiar story. Got a cat in February after a terrible terrible break-up; the cat's owner was an old lady who moved to hospital and couldn't take care of him. It was the sweetest cat I've ever had! I've cried so much into his fluffly ginger fur. He died on December, I came home from Christmas dinner with my parents and he was there - laying on the floor, no sign of suffering. Then I got to know his previous owner had died too. He wasn't old and didn't seem sick. They both just went away together. And he was there for me through the toughest time in my life. I will always cherish memories of him
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The last cat I had before my two now, died in an apartment fire. I still have nightmares about it. He woke me up that morning being loud under the bed...probably trying to warn me. I left for work and a few hours later the police showed up at my job and told me my apartment was on fire. I didn't care about anything but my cat. He was found by the backdoor, clearly trying to get out. Luckily, if you call it that, he died by smoke inhalation not burning, but nonetheless knowing he had to suffer like that still to do this day, and it's been 10 years, breaks my heart. He was such a sweet boy, and I miss him so much. RIP Frisky.
Crying: I’ve had a dozen cats during my 62 years, and have always had to make the horrible decision to send them off when their lives became burdensome to them. It was only 2 months ago that I held my precious Lulu in my arms as the vet ended her suffering. You are blessed beyond belief that your cat died a natural death in your presence.
I held my beloved kitty Emily as she was put to sleep at age 19, and I'll always be broken-hearted over it. But she told me she wanted to go and was ready, and purred so loudly as I held her -- the ONLY other time she purred that loudly was when I adopted her at age one! She knew where she belonged even going on to her next life. Emily had a cat friend, a feral grey kitty who she'd invite in to share her food! Then one day I heard our dogs barking in the back yard, so after I put them back in the house I went out and found the grey kitty, seriously injured, hit by a car, and he died within a few minutes. But he instinctively knew that I loved him even though he was feral and chose my yard to die in. I was so touched!
As I'm reading this my cat decided to come and cuddle with me. How did he know?!? I love him so much and I'm afraid of the day I'll have to deal with that.
2 months ago I came home from work, nothing wrong. As usual, 1 of my cats wanted to sit on a chair in front of the balcony door (her fav spot in the sun), petted and cuddled her for a bit and she went for a nap there. An hour later she got up and moved to another spot in the doorway (living room-hallway), continued napping. Some time after that, I heard her cough 2x and seeing as she's had some kind of seizure while waking up before, I ran over to her but her eyes were already going grey-ish etc... :( Crying and panicking I called my MIL to take us to the vet but in just a few mins my cat was gone. My other cat was in the other room, came over, looked a bit shocked and sniffed her body and head and then moved to the other end of the room and just sat there, watching us. She would've been 13years old the next month. I miss her so much.
I couldn’t have done anything to save her but I felt bad and guilty. The grief is still there but atleast the guilt faded a bit. And my other cat is also 13y.o. so now I’m scared she might just pass away too :/ ofcourse it will happen at some point but right now, i don’t think I can handle that. Lost my grandfather 4 months ago, almost lost my father, grandmum 2x in the hospital and lost one of my cats...
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I lost my black lab 8 months ago. I had to put her down due to her deteriorating health. This was the hardest decision of my life. I suppose it gets easier with time but all it takes is that one look at an old photograph or something simple to remind you and you just break down again. Whether it was a pet or a human it does not matter. That's real love! I had a near-death experience of sorts recently and experienced what I can only describe as the journey to the other side. It was the most beautiful thing I have every experienced. The moment you leave your physical self and become pure energy is something that I can only describe as relief, as if an incredible burden was lifted. We will see them again. It does not end here.
My little Cesar (only 3 years old, born at home) went missing for a few days. I thought he was on one of his boy-tours (not neutered yet) around the neighbourhood, which happened now and then, but he always came home. After three days, I discovered him under my bed, curled up in a suffering ball. I took him to the vet immediately, who gave him some meds, but without much hope. Three days later, coming home from work, I found my buddy totally limp on his resting place, felt like he had not one bone left in his body. I took him with me, went to bed, laid him on my belly and we fell asleep, my hand in his fur. In the middle of the night, I woke up, he was still there, but already half stiff. He had died on my belly, in my sleep. I can't say I was surprised, but the pain of the loss was softened by knowing he died on his favorite spot since he was born, and that I was scratching him the whole time before I fell asleep... Still mourning my furbaby.
Sad sad sad for the loss ;( Losing a friend is awful and nothing can make it right. I still miss my furry cattino who passed away in my arms 16 years ago. Wish he had his 9 lives...
A few years ago my beloved alley cat Ragamuffin passed in her sleep. I came home from work to find her on the floor, cold and stiff. I thought that I had braced myself her passing, but I still cried a Chattahoochee's worth. I am thankful that she went peacefully, that I didn't have to go through the agony of having her put down. Now I have two cats, sisters from a rescue cat's litter. They will never replace Ragamuffin in my heart, but they have made their own places. RIP, Rags. I will always love you.
My first cat died about 18 years ago. I still cry when I think about it. My second cat died last Year. We found her outside. The whole neighbourhood heard me screaming and crying. So sad
This was hard for me to read. I went away for Memorial Day weekend and came home to find one my my cats - only 7 years old - had died at the foot of my bed while I was gone. I don't know what happened to her and I'm still consumed with so much guilt that I wasn't there for her.
My biggest sorrow and regret was being unable to be with my Princess when she was put to sleep. You were blessed to be there for her.
I know this is a dog story, but still a pet owner with guilt. A friend of ours had two dogs, one a pit mix the other a chihuahua mix. The Pit mix was getting on in years..having a harder time making it around. Her owner basically gave up any social life and spent day after day making sure she was comfortable. She said one afternoon that she left the dogs in the house while she moved the sprinkler in the backyard. When she came in, the Chihuahua mix was standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room looking at her like "Mom..somethings not right." She went into the living room to find her pit curled up in front of her favorite chair...no more life..peacefully gone. She sobbed and hugged her for an hour before calling a friend to come help with the remains. I told her not to feel guilty. She died where she wanted to..at moms favorite place and when she wanted to..when mom wouldn't cry. There was nothing she could have done and that was ok.
I scraped a lot of our cats off of the highway when growing up. That'll start your day off right.
My rabbit passed away 2 weeks ago. We brought him to the vet for an eye infection later revealed to be a byproduct of fluid throughout the body. Before they could finish the exam however he went into cardiac arrest (as prey animals it is possible for rabbits to die of fright) The way he went really haunts me. He was always a skittish sensitive rabbit except around us. It fills me with guilt thinking about how we left him to the vets that scared him to death (not blaming the vets) and and couldn't be there as the only people he trusted. He was getting really old for a rabbit, and I was bracing for his death, but I wasn't expecting him to go like this. I had him since third grade and I found a lot of myself in him. My entire family and I is devastated.
She didn't die alone. She died with someone she loved. No guilt necessary.
My cat Mars left the house while I was in the hospital two months ago. She didn't come home and I knew she never would. It was almost 15 years to the day she was born. She was crabby and territorial, although I can't blame her. I joke that she could have left a note but I really miss her.
My cat died in the next room, made an agonal sound I will never forget. it's a heavy price having a pet.
Yes it is! It's great when your pet is health and happy but when that moment comes...it is devastating and you carry this pain forever. It gets easier with time but you never forget.
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I have 6 cats - (lovely cats) sasha, kulet, batik, misha and chinchan. They are all adorable. But their Mom just died months ago. Her name is Rumi - she was has the most sweet Meoowt whenever I arrived from work. Until she came back and approached me when I arrived from work. She was in a weak situation that time. She did not even bother to touch her food I gave to her and I noticed that she is no longer moving until the nest morning, I realised that she's gone. I miss her. Rumi, my Rumi. :'(
Your dear kitty was lucky to have you and died peacefully in the comfort of your love and protection. You are both blessed!
My dog had to be put down in May I still miss him and feel sad if I think about him.
I just had to put my cat to sleep she was 22 years and 8 months old. I had her for over half my life. The vets think that she probably had a brain tumour and was having fits, being sick on my bed everyday and I couldn’t watch her go through it all. It was such a hard decision and everyday I wonder if I did the right thing. I miss her terribly and go to talk to her at her grave. I wear her collar as a bracelet.
Life is about love, friendship, relationships, joy, sorrow and grief. This is about life. We have one. What about you ?
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I was the first one to find our cat when she died. She had the most amazing death you could imagine - sleeping on one of her favourite spots, sun shining, after everyone except me went to work or school and said goodbye to her. I was really attached to her. Just about a month before there were two weeks that I spent completely alone. I was 18, had a summer job (9AM-5PM) in a separate office with no one to talk to, my sisters went away for a camp, my parents on a holiday trying to restart their relationship, all friends out of town. I got maybe two texts for the whole two weeks. No phone calls; when I tried to call my parents they sounded annoyed, they were enjoying their free time without children way to much. The only one I truly had at that time was our cat. Matilda. She was there, I needed to take care of her while in reality, she was taking care of me. I had someone to talk to, to come home to. I sometimes think that she died just after these lonely two weeks for me. And that she wanted me to be the one to find her. Sorry for the long story...I just had to get it out.
I have a similiar story. Got a cat in February after a terrible terrible break-up; the cat's owner was an old lady who moved to hospital and couldn't take care of him. It was the sweetest cat I've ever had! I've cried so much into his fluffly ginger fur. He died on December, I came home from Christmas dinner with my parents and he was there - laying on the floor, no sign of suffering. Then I got to know his previous owner had died too. He wasn't old and didn't seem sick. They both just went away together. And he was there for me through the toughest time in my life. I will always cherish memories of him
Load More Replies... The last cat I had before my two now, died in an apartment fire. I still have nightmares about it. He woke me up that morning being loud under the bed...probably trying to warn me. I left for work and a few hours later the police showed up at my job and told me my apartment was on fire. I didn't care about anything but my cat. He was found by the backdoor, clearly trying to get out. Luckily, if you call it that, he died by smoke inhalation not burning, but nonetheless knowing he had to suffer like that still to do this day, and it's been 10 years, breaks my heart. He was such a sweet boy, and I miss him so much. RIP Frisky.
Crying: I’ve had a dozen cats during my 62 years, and have always had to make the horrible decision to send them off when their lives became burdensome to them. It was only 2 months ago that I held my precious Lulu in my arms as the vet ended her suffering. You are blessed beyond belief that your cat died a natural death in your presence.
I held my beloved kitty Emily as she was put to sleep at age 19, and I'll always be broken-hearted over it. But she told me she wanted to go and was ready, and purred so loudly as I held her -- the ONLY other time she purred that loudly was when I adopted her at age one! She knew where she belonged even going on to her next life. Emily had a cat friend, a feral grey kitty who she'd invite in to share her food! Then one day I heard our dogs barking in the back yard, so after I put them back in the house I went out and found the grey kitty, seriously injured, hit by a car, and he died within a few minutes. But he instinctively knew that I loved him even though he was feral and chose my yard to die in. I was so touched!
As I'm reading this my cat decided to come and cuddle with me. How did he know?!? I love him so much and I'm afraid of the day I'll have to deal with that.
2 months ago I came home from work, nothing wrong. As usual, 1 of my cats wanted to sit on a chair in front of the balcony door (her fav spot in the sun), petted and cuddled her for a bit and she went for a nap there. An hour later she got up and moved to another spot in the doorway (living room-hallway), continued napping. Some time after that, I heard her cough 2x and seeing as she's had some kind of seizure while waking up before, I ran over to her but her eyes were already going grey-ish etc... :( Crying and panicking I called my MIL to take us to the vet but in just a few mins my cat was gone. My other cat was in the other room, came over, looked a bit shocked and sniffed her body and head and then moved to the other end of the room and just sat there, watching us. She would've been 13years old the next month. I miss her so much.
I couldn’t have done anything to save her but I felt bad and guilty. The grief is still there but atleast the guilt faded a bit. And my other cat is also 13y.o. so now I’m scared she might just pass away too :/ ofcourse it will happen at some point but right now, i don’t think I can handle that. Lost my grandfather 4 months ago, almost lost my father, grandmum 2x in the hospital and lost one of my cats...
Load More Replies... I lost my black lab 8 months ago. I had to put her down due to her deteriorating health. This was the hardest decision of my life. I suppose it gets easier with time but all it takes is that one look at an old photograph or something simple to remind you and you just break down again. Whether it was a pet or a human it does not matter. That's real love! I had a near-death experience of sorts recently and experienced what I can only describe as the journey to the other side. It was the most beautiful thing I have every experienced. The moment you leave your physical self and become pure energy is something that I can only describe as relief, as if an incredible burden was lifted. We will see them again. It does not end here.
My little Cesar (only 3 years old, born at home) went missing for a few days. I thought he was on one of his boy-tours (not neutered yet) around the neighbourhood, which happened now and then, but he always came home. After three days, I discovered him under my bed, curled up in a suffering ball. I took him to the vet immediately, who gave him some meds, but without much hope. Three days later, coming home from work, I found my buddy totally limp on his resting place, felt like he had not one bone left in his body. I took him with me, went to bed, laid him on my belly and we fell asleep, my hand in his fur. In the middle of the night, I woke up, he was still there, but already half stiff. He had died on my belly, in my sleep. I can't say I was surprised, but the pain of the loss was softened by knowing he died on his favorite spot since he was born, and that I was scratching him the whole time before I fell asleep... Still mourning my furbaby.
Sad sad sad for the loss ;( Losing a friend is awful and nothing can make it right. I still miss my furry cattino who passed away in my arms 16 years ago. Wish he had his 9 lives...
A few years ago my beloved alley cat Ragamuffin passed in her sleep. I came home from work to find her on the floor, cold and stiff. I thought that I had braced myself her passing, but I still cried a Chattahoochee's worth. I am thankful that she went peacefully, that I didn't have to go through the agony of having her put down. Now I have two cats, sisters from a rescue cat's litter. They will never replace Ragamuffin in my heart, but they have made their own places. RIP, Rags. I will always love you.
My first cat died about 18 years ago. I still cry when I think about it. My second cat died last Year. We found her outside. The whole neighbourhood heard me screaming and crying. So sad
This was hard for me to read. I went away for Memorial Day weekend and came home to find one my my cats - only 7 years old - had died at the foot of my bed while I was gone. I don't know what happened to her and I'm still consumed with so much guilt that I wasn't there for her.
My biggest sorrow and regret was being unable to be with my Princess when she was put to sleep. You were blessed to be there for her.
I know this is a dog story, but still a pet owner with guilt. A friend of ours had two dogs, one a pit mix the other a chihuahua mix. The Pit mix was getting on in years..having a harder time making it around. Her owner basically gave up any social life and spent day after day making sure she was comfortable. She said one afternoon that she left the dogs in the house while she moved the sprinkler in the backyard. When she came in, the Chihuahua mix was standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room looking at her like "Mom..somethings not right." She went into the living room to find her pit curled up in front of her favorite chair...no more life..peacefully gone. She sobbed and hugged her for an hour before calling a friend to come help with the remains. I told her not to feel guilty. She died where she wanted to..at moms favorite place and when she wanted to..when mom wouldn't cry. There was nothing she could have done and that was ok.
I scraped a lot of our cats off of the highway when growing up. That'll start your day off right.
My rabbit passed away 2 weeks ago. We brought him to the vet for an eye infection later revealed to be a byproduct of fluid throughout the body. Before they could finish the exam however he went into cardiac arrest (as prey animals it is possible for rabbits to die of fright) The way he went really haunts me. He was always a skittish sensitive rabbit except around us. It fills me with guilt thinking about how we left him to the vets that scared him to death (not blaming the vets) and and couldn't be there as the only people he trusted. He was getting really old for a rabbit, and I was bracing for his death, but I wasn't expecting him to go like this. I had him since third grade and I found a lot of myself in him. My entire family and I is devastated.
She didn't die alone. She died with someone she loved. No guilt necessary.
My cat Mars left the house while I was in the hospital two months ago. She didn't come home and I knew she never would. It was almost 15 years to the day she was born. She was crabby and territorial, although I can't blame her. I joke that she could have left a note but I really miss her.
My cat died in the next room, made an agonal sound I will never forget. it's a heavy price having a pet.
Yes it is! It's great when your pet is health and happy but when that moment comes...it is devastating and you carry this pain forever. It gets easier with time but you never forget.
Load More Replies... I have 6 cats - (lovely cats) sasha, kulet, batik, misha and chinchan. They are all adorable. But their Mom just died months ago. Her name is Rumi - she was has the most sweet Meoowt whenever I arrived from work. Until she came back and approached me when I arrived from work. She was in a weak situation that time. She did not even bother to touch her food I gave to her and I noticed that she is no longer moving until the nest morning, I realised that she's gone. I miss her. Rumi, my Rumi. :'(
Your dear kitty was lucky to have you and died peacefully in the comfort of your love and protection. You are both blessed!
My dog had to be put down in May I still miss him and feel sad if I think about him.
I just had to put my cat to sleep she was 22 years and 8 months old. I had her for over half my life. The vets think that she probably had a brain tumour and was having fits, being sick on my bed everyday and I couldn’t watch her go through it all. It was such a hard decision and everyday I wonder if I did the right thing. I miss her terribly and go to talk to her at her grave. I wear her collar as a bracelet.
Life is about love, friendship, relationships, joy, sorrow and grief. This is about life. We have one. What about you ?
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