“AITA For Leaving A Carpool Kid Behind And Getting Him Kicked Out Of The Carpool?”
Interview With Author
Believe it or not, moms have a lot going on throughout their days. And the amount of stuff to do triples with every kid they have to take care of, whether their own or those they’re chaperoning.
So, PSA, be mindful of other moms if you’re leaving your kid in their care, or else they might end up missing their morning carpool to school. Or kicked out of carpooling in general. Or a number of other things might happen, but let’s not get carried away with possible outcomes.
But speaking of the former, a mother recently visited the Am I The A-Hole community for some perspective on who’s in the wrong after she came over to pick up this one kid for school and he didn’t show up. So she left with the rest of the carpooling kids, only to be called names for leaving that one kid behind.
More Info: Reddit
They say you don’t mess with a carpooling group or else you get the headlights horns
Image credits: Peter Fazekas (not the actual photo)
So, Reddit user u/FiveStarFrontDesk, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for an interview, is a mother of 4. Because her family lives too close to school—just 1.5 miles away—they’re not eligible for a school bus. What the kids are eligible for are bike rides and OP sometimes drives them to school.
It wasn’t long until she was invited to join a carpooling group. She’d be responsible for getting 2 of her own and 3 other kids to and from school on some days, while the other 2 parents would fill in the gaps on others.
Unbeknownst to her, though, one of the kids came with a little asterisk and fine print in their carpooling package. But it became beknownst to her right when she had already arrived at said kid’s house. And when I say house, just the house. The kid was nowhere to be found.
A mom tried to mess with a carpooling group and got served humble pie when the group outed her for expecting the carpooler to wake up her kid
Image credts: FiveStarFrontDesk
Now, the mom did make sure that the kid was informed beforehand about the time to be ready, and her daughter also went down to the house and knocked on the door—twice—but without a response. So, the mom decided to take the kids she had to school and just move on.
Well, dung hit the fan when she arrived at work. It was then that she noticed 3 missed calls and a couple of very angry voice messages from the mother of the kid she didn’t pick up. It was at this point that she got called an a-hole, but she was also called other names that your kids should never use after calling the mom back.
In fact, OP told Bored Panda that the angry mom’s visceral reaction was what urged her to share the story. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have given it a second though.
The kid failed to show, so OP drove the kids she had to school, only to find an angry mom at the other end of a phone call soon after
Image credts: FiveStarFrontDesk
Image credits: mel0808johnson (not the actual photo)
Apparently, OP was supposed to call the kid, waking him up in the process, and then wait for him to get ready. OP was having none of it and told her that it’s not her responsibility to do that, nor does she have the time to wait around for a kid that’s supposed to be ready upon arrival. One slur by the angry mom later, the call ended.
And it seems it was enough for OP to decide to bolt from the carpooling group as soon as she had started carpooling, but the other parent in the group had a better idea. You see, that parent too has problems with this kid’s mom. So, they effectively joined forces and excluded the abusive mom, and by proxy her sleeping kid, from the circle.
We asked OP if she had any idea as to why the angry mother expected her to wake up the kid herself, but she was as stumped as anyone else. “Honestly, I don’t think I can [wrap my head around it]. I don’t understand how or why she would expect that of someone.”
But, in any case, problem solved? Yes, absolutely, as folks in the AITA community proclaimed time and time again. Folks couldn’t figure out why OP would be the jerk here to begin with. The entitled mom had it coming with that attitude, and she can only blame herself for getting her kid kicked out of the carpool, and that’s that.
But neither OP, nor the AITA community thought she was wrong to do what she did
In general, folks online emphasized the lack of respect shown by the angry mom, her lack of understanding of what carpooling really is, lack of understanding that one does not simply mess with a carpooling group or else they get the horns, lack of being a parent, apparently, and a lack of understanding that certain behaviors lead to very specific consequences. And they are glad OP showed the mom her place.
OP noted that there had not been any developments in the story: “Carpool has been going well since the incident. I haven’t spoken to the mother, and my kids are not good friends with the child.” But if the other family that OP’s carpooling with would like to bring them back—if they apologized, for example—OP could consider, but as of this moment, it’s a hard no.
We asked OP to reflect on her situation and to share some advice with anyone dealing with similarly nasty mothers. And she had this to say: “Do what’s right for yourself and your kiddos. If someone is delusional or toxic, they don’t need to be around your kids!”
You can check out the post in full and in context here, but before you’re excused, we’d like you to do us a little favor and upvote this story and share your thoughts and opinions on this whole situation in the comment section below!
well, all they really do is repost reddit stuff anyways
Load More Replies... I've always hated posts like this because obviously you're not the a*****e and you know it. You're just posting this for fake internet points and validation.
Seriously. I've read some posts on Reddit where it really was hard to tell who was in the wrong, but 95% of them are like this one... Obvious who was at fault and just posted for pandering for points.
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Maybe you should go in and wake the kid, fix him his breakfast, make his lunch or give him lunch money, clean the house and start a load of laundry for the entitled Mom.
She seems to expect it from carpool. Kinda sorta makes you wonder if this a*****e planned to do that for both the families in carpool.
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I dropped out of a carpool (the school was ~45 minutes away by car) because the two kids from the same family wouldn't stop screaming even when asked several times. It gave me and my youngest son HUGE migraines. When I talked to the parent, he said "kids will be kids". I don't buy that. All my three kids didn't scream while either inside or outside and our neighbors always wondered if we really had kids. She's NTA and it certainly not her job to wake-up a stranger's kid and wait until royalty is ready to go.
This post made me laugh. Everyone knows who the a$$hole is here, even the OP. But that mom yelling and carrying on on the phone? THEN I would have just laughed and hit "end call," texted her that I would no longer pick up her child, and then block her number altogether. NC from then on.
Why Waste Gas when the Kids are old enough and the school is near enough to ride (she said they sometimes Do) the bike to school at All? It's 2,5km. That is not very far away or is that just me?
My school was about twice that distance away, and I had to walk there once (on a nice day) because I missed the bus. Given the weight of my schoolbags with textbooks, folders, etc, I was struggling way before the half-way point. A mile and a half is easy if you have a light bag, but a schoolbag - yeah, it's not easy.
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She didn't get the kid kicked out of the carpool, the kid and his mother got the kid kicked out of the carpool. I'm willing to bet that I'd she would have asked for a courtesy call and not called her a "b!tch" that he might still not get a wake up call but he'd still be in the carpool. Being polite and nice goes a long way.
NTA - I can see why she questioned herself but this is definitely not something she needs to worry about. Not her problem if the kid is not awake and ready. I would have laughed at the other mom who yelled at her if it was me.
Would she have expected a bus driver to wake her little darling and wait for him while all the other kids cool their heels? I'd love to see how long the kid would have remained in school if she called the driver a b!tch. Would she call the kid's principal the same?
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Are Americans seriously carpooling 16yo to school? Wtf with that country
You have to take into account that these teens may not have a permit or driver's license. I didn't get mine until I was 18 because we couldn't afford the class, until we moved then the class was 200 and we could put on tax returns, which was nice. But not everyone can afford to do that, or have an extra car for the kids. Senior year, I had classes online and 3 in person. I had to walk to school the first semester because my in person class was 2nd period, and it was a twenty minute walk. Second semester, in person classes were 1st and 2nd period, my mom dropped me off before school and I had to walk home after 2nd. Sometimes I stayed during their because it was a possibility for me to catch up on my work from the previous classes, I had the same teacher for 1st and 2nd. When I stayed during 3rd, on occasion, I got rides from a friend. I only did it when weather was pretty bad, otherwise I felt like a burden to him. Anyways, it's not bad to carpool when in highschool. Don't assume.
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Why are they being driven when they live so close to school? 1.5 miles is not a long walk at all. I still walk more than 3 times that every day with my dogs.
We don't know what the weather was like that day, or the type of roads in the area. I live 1km from my daughter's school, but there's a highway between here and there so she gets dropped off on my way to my own class in the morning and gets the bus home.
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No - no one has to put up with other people’s nonsense in their lives. In any way, shape or form. Remember that people! Set clear boundaries! It’s okay to walk away. Don’t feel a minute of guilt. Please don’t learn this lesson the really hard way by taking c**p and being taken advantage of constantly, until you are over 50, like I did. But, I am free now so it’s all good. (Bonus painful moments: you also have to forgive yourself for allowing these people to abuse your good nature, and sometimes actually abuse you, because it is, however hard it is to face, actually your fault, for not respecting yourself enough to stand up and say, not today, or as Bartleby so wisely said, I prefer not to.) Good luck everyone! You can do it!
It's almost embarrassing that the OP us asking if she's in the wrong, really? She disrespected you, your tine, and called you names, abd you seriously want to know if you're the a*****e?? Wow.
well, all they really do is repost reddit stuff anyways
Load More Replies... I've always hated posts like this because obviously you're not the a*****e and you know it. You're just posting this for fake internet points and validation.
Seriously. I've read some posts on Reddit where it really was hard to tell who was in the wrong, but 95% of them are like this one... Obvious who was at fault and just posted for pandering for points.
Load More Replies... Maybe you should go in and wake the kid, fix him his breakfast, make his lunch or give him lunch money, clean the house and start a load of laundry for the entitled Mom.
She seems to expect it from carpool. Kinda sorta makes you wonder if this a*****e planned to do that for both the families in carpool.
Load More Replies... I dropped out of a carpool (the school was ~45 minutes away by car) because the two kids from the same family wouldn't stop screaming even when asked several times. It gave me and my youngest son HUGE migraines. When I talked to the parent, he said "kids will be kids". I don't buy that. All my three kids didn't scream while either inside or outside and our neighbors always wondered if we really had kids. She's NTA and it certainly not her job to wake-up a stranger's kid and wait until royalty is ready to go.
This post made me laugh. Everyone knows who the a$$hole is here, even the OP. But that mom yelling and carrying on on the phone? THEN I would have just laughed and hit "end call," texted her that I would no longer pick up her child, and then block her number altogether. NC from then on.
Why Waste Gas when the Kids are old enough and the school is near enough to ride (she said they sometimes Do) the bike to school at All? It's 2,5km. That is not very far away or is that just me?
My school was about twice that distance away, and I had to walk there once (on a nice day) because I missed the bus. Given the weight of my schoolbags with textbooks, folders, etc, I was struggling way before the half-way point. A mile and a half is easy if you have a light bag, but a schoolbag - yeah, it's not easy.
Load More Replies... She didn't get the kid kicked out of the carpool, the kid and his mother got the kid kicked out of the carpool. I'm willing to bet that I'd she would have asked for a courtesy call and not called her a "b!tch" that he might still not get a wake up call but he'd still be in the carpool. Being polite and nice goes a long way.
NTA - I can see why she questioned herself but this is definitely not something she needs to worry about. Not her problem if the kid is not awake and ready. I would have laughed at the other mom who yelled at her if it was me.
Would she have expected a bus driver to wake her little darling and wait for him while all the other kids cool their heels? I'd love to see how long the kid would have remained in school if she called the driver a b!tch. Would she call the kid's principal the same?
Load More Replies... Are Americans seriously carpooling 16yo to school? Wtf with that country
You have to take into account that these teens may not have a permit or driver's license. I didn't get mine until I was 18 because we couldn't afford the class, until we moved then the class was 200 and we could put on tax returns, which was nice. But not everyone can afford to do that, or have an extra car for the kids. Senior year, I had classes online and 3 in person. I had to walk to school the first semester because my in person class was 2nd period, and it was a twenty minute walk. Second semester, in person classes were 1st and 2nd period, my mom dropped me off before school and I had to walk home after 2nd. Sometimes I stayed during their because it was a possibility for me to catch up on my work from the previous classes, I had the same teacher for 1st and 2nd. When I stayed during 3rd, on occasion, I got rides from a friend. I only did it when weather was pretty bad, otherwise I felt like a burden to him. Anyways, it's not bad to carpool when in highschool. Don't assume.
Load More Replies... Why are they being driven when they live so close to school? 1.5 miles is not a long walk at all. I still walk more than 3 times that every day with my dogs.
We don't know what the weather was like that day, or the type of roads in the area. I live 1km from my daughter's school, but there's a highway between here and there so she gets dropped off on my way to my own class in the morning and gets the bus home.
Load More Replies... No - no one has to put up with other people’s nonsense in their lives. In any way, shape or form. Remember that people! Set clear boundaries! It’s okay to walk away. Don’t feel a minute of guilt. Please don’t learn this lesson the really hard way by taking c**p and being taken advantage of constantly, until you are over 50, like I did. But, I am free now so it’s all good. (Bonus painful moments: you also have to forgive yourself for allowing these people to abuse your good nature, and sometimes actually abuse you, because it is, however hard it is to face, actually your fault, for not respecting yourself enough to stand up and say, not today, or as Bartleby so wisely said, I prefer not to.) Good luck everyone! You can do it!
It's almost embarrassing that the OP us asking if she's in the wrong, really? She disrespected you, your tine, and called you names, abd you seriously want to know if you're the a*****e?? Wow.
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