Man Is Offended His Fiancée Doesn’t Care He Is Uncomfortable With Her Dad Walking Her Down The Aisle
A wedding is a ritual that is a start to a new family and even though the main people joining their lives together are the bride and the groom, in reality, it involves both of their families as well. So it would be nice, when you are celebrating Christmas, for everyone to get along and have a great time together.
It happens that the bride and the groom love each other’s company, but they dislike a certain family member or get in an argument every time they start to talk. For a woman on Reddit, it got to a point where her fiancé actually told her that she should find someone else to take her down the aisle because he was bothered by almost everything her dad did and didn’t want him to have such a big role in the wedding.
More info: Reddit
Woman is about to marry a man who doesn’t like her dad to the point that he doesn’t want him walking her down the aisle
Image credits: Naotake Murayama (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) has been with her fiancé for over 2 years and their wedding date is coming closer. Other than her fiancé, the woman has a dad and an older sister to which she is very close. The daughter is very grateful for her dad being a single parent and always doing his best to provide for his girls.
So it hurts her heart that her fiancé doesn’t get along with her dad very well. He keeps nagging his future-father-in-law about the stupidest things like his old truck or how he talks about his late wife.
The woman has been with her fiancé for about 2 years and he has always had something bad to say to her dad
Image credits: throwaway569070
The most recent argument between them was about the dad not wanting or, to be more precise, not being able to afford to contribute to the wedding financially. The fiancé was really mad about it and asked the OP to find another person to walk her down the aisle because his FIL is ruining his mood.
The OP refused because it’s her dad and she wants him to be there for that special moment. She is one of those girls who dreamt of this moment for a long time, so having her dad there, who she has a good relationship with, is important for her. The fiancé, on the other hand, called the woman inconsiderate because it’s his wedding too.
He didn’t like the dad keeping an old truck and that he missed his late wife
Image credits: throwaway569070
The bride entering the venue is one of the most memorable moments of a wedding as she comes in all white, glowing from happiness and looking forward to her loving husband. But she doesn’t walk that aisle alone as traditionally the bride is accompanied by her dad.
According to wedding historian Susan Waggoner, in the past, the woman was seen as a financial liability and weddings were more like a financial exchange, so the fathers were involved in it. They were giving away their daughters, leading them to the groom’s hands.
The fiancé got really mad when the dad refused to contribute to the wedding despite knowing he didn’t have money for it
Image credits: throwaway569070
The tradition remained, but its significance changed a lot. By walking their daughter down the aisle, dads show their support and give their blessings. It’s not a matter of giving away their daughters, but of letting go as now they step down from the most important man’s position in the daughter’s life.
The symbolism and just the feeling of having a family member joining you in the aisle is comforting, so it is understandable why the OP doesn’t want anyone else to do it as she respects and loves her dad very much.
So the man asked the OP to choose someone else to walk her down the aisle, which she doesn’t want to do as she loves her dad and wants him by her side
Image credits: throwaway569070
The bride got called selfish and inconsiderate as it is also the man’s wedding so his comfort should matter
Image credits: Ed Dunens (not the actual photo)
People in the comments were quick to come to OP’s defense, assuring her that her wish to have her dad by her side was normal and wasn’t selfish. Redditors were actually concerned about the controlling fiancé’s behavior and were strongly advising her not to marry him.
We would like to know if you think that the fiancé had reason to get mad. Do you think the OP shouldn’t allow her dad to take her down the aisle to avoid conflict? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Redditors disagreed because the man didn’t want the dad walking her down the aisle over money, which is a problem, and suggested that the OP cancel the wedding
This 'fiancé" presents more red flags than a Chinese Communist Party convention
Indeed. And just out of curiosity, does anyone know what happens to the OPs of all these AITA stories? It would be interesting to know what kind of decision they take...
Load More Replies...
There is no way I would marry a person who disrespected my Father in this way. The fiance sounds toxic and controlling. He is always going to be like this, it's been 2 years and no change. I would postpone or cancel the wedding
I know it hurts to let go of your favorite toxic people especially if you invested in them a lot, time, love and all but....damn girl run
OP needs to run, and run far. I really hope she doesn't marry the guy and recognizes exactly how he's trying to manipulate her and isolate her from family who adores her. He's already been working on her, given her terminology; her father didn't 'refuse' to help fund the wedding, he couldn't. It's rich that the fiancee accusing her of being selfish, when he's the one who has displayed his selfishness again and again. He's trying to turn her against her father so that he can better control her. Hope this is the wake-up call she needs.
OP has a clear choice, choose between her father and her fiancé, because if she marries him the next step is "it's my home too, I get to say who can come in" and "it's my child too.." and so on. She can't have both because her (hopefully not) husband to be is making it clear she needs to choose between them.
And now you know what is really important to your fiancé. How much can you care about someone who only sees life as assets/debits?
Getting married at 23 yo - after barely 2 years- with a controlling a*****e. Some people are really looking for unhappiness.. Why??
How long do you think he will allow you to remain in contact with your father after you are married? This is not love, it's control and will only get worse.
Yeah, if such a fiance exists, I hope he becomes an ex-fiance immediately. I wouldn't burden anyone with money issues, much less the father of the woman I will be spending my life with. Sounds like nothing more than a miserly, controlling jerk-off.
The fiancé sounds like he's singing the national anthem of red flags. RUN, OP. RUN.
Do not marry the abusive control freak. Because he's an abusive control freak.
Run, he's bad news. It will only get worse. Imagine you just had a baby are physically in pain, exhausted, trying to feed the baby. Will he be loving? Understanding that you're overwhelmed? Want to help you anyway they can. Or is he critical because you had the baby a few days ago. You haven't bathed, dressed properly (to him), not wearing make up. Also the house is dirty, you haven't dusted and dishes are in the sink, he's embarrassed to have people over, etc. I suspect he's the second. I know someone who had friends.over for dinner, basically had a party when the baby was less than a week old. Things only got worse.
You'd think the father having helped produce the fiance would be enough.
Fiancé is not taking your legitimate reasons into consideration. 1) You don’t have much family and he raised you as a single parent. 2) it is traditionally the bride’s father who walks the bride down the aisle at her wedding. 3). Your father can’t afford to help pay for the wedding; he’s not refusing to do so. Your fiancé is being TA for bringing up the old truck every time he does it AND how can he blame your father for talking about his deceased wife? I would think hard before marrying this man. What happens if something bad happens to you? Does he stick it out?
As someone who was in a similar situation (ex hated all of my family and would have happily had me cut ties with them): You in danger, girl! Run! Get away from this AH fast. He will not change enough to be worthy of you or your family (who are part of you, not a throw away side).
If you love your parents, mostly everyone thinks they are nice people, YOU think they are good and nice people and then you meet someone who dislikes them, doesn't get on with them or tries to keep you away from them... run away very fast. It is very sad to be duped by a partner into not spending time with loved ones. You will e.g only ever have one loving Father, you can replace a boyfriend or fiancé many times.
The fiance is a total jerk. He is mistreating and disrespecting his fiancee's dad for no reason. He's full of s**t.
If the people you love most don't get along with your fiancé, DUMP HIM! NTA.
Ditch him. Might as well do it now as you'll do it later and by then he'll have made life difficult for your dad. Love is a chemical reaction.. which we cannot control but we can control how we treat people - with respect. Does he respect you, your decisions and your dad? He can be respectful of your wishes - if he chose to...
If you can't even agree on the wedding, where is the marriage headed?
This woman is breaking her dad's heart by marrying this loser. Heartbreaking.
How dare the fiance try to diminish the ops feelings for and relationship with the father who was with her and raised and loved her for 23 years and then claim SHE is disrespecting HIS feelings for not agreeing with him. Immoral, selfish and disgusting. He does not love her, if he did the things that are emotionally precious to her would be things he would nurture and protect to ensure her happiness. You don't ignore and disrespect the people that matter to your significant other if you love them. That path is just a world of hurt that gets deeper and more painful over time. Who wants that for the person they truly love?
DO NOT MARRY THIS JERK. He will isolate you from your family. He is already abusing you emotionally. Next, he will mentally drive you crazy and then he will start beating you. Run, Run as fast as you can. He is a danger to your health. So many red flags. Don't wait till you marry this creep. You are young and have plenty of time to find someone who respects you and your family.
Get rid of the guy now! Never give of parts of yourself for someone, cause he should love and respect your wishes, and because he don’t is a red flag! He sounds like a narcissist, he wants to isolate you and control you! That’s not love!
I liked the comment telling her she shouldn't have her dad walk her down the aisle...because she shouldn't be getting married to this a-hole.
How the wedding planning goes is indicative of how the planning will go for every single other thing in your life. The man you are about to marry is a gaslighter and emotionally manipulative, and also disrespectful of YOUR views on how you want the wedding to go. Run. Now. You deserve better, and your dad would think so too.
Why TF would you want to marry a Captain Obvious narcissist? Op is either blind or clueless and will have an unbearable future with him.
and you want to be married to that? after showing you his true colors this is what you want to spend your life with?
I truly hope you do not marry this guy. My daughter is married to one of those. He doesn't like us - (her parents and het brother) he even threatened her that he will get someone to kill us if she leaves him. Luckily her son moved out when he had the chance. He is 14 now and is safe with us. Ahe doesnt want to leave him, why i do not know. So many people is telling her to run. Yet she stays. Guess you get used to be treated like that. Please do not marry him. It gets worse not better
The fiancé sounds immature and unhinged. Premarital counseling may help the OP realize why she should not go through with the wedding. She doesn't necessarily need to "run", but STAND on principle that the boyfriend/fiancé is NOT someone she needs to have in her life.
Reading this gives me chills. Trying to cut her off from her family is a classic first move of coercive control. Like watching a child climb into a stranger’s car and not have the power to get them away from the risk. I hope the replies to her AITA post sway her judgement.
Oh honey, run the other way. The fiancé is broken and no amount of love is going to help him grow or be made whole.
This fiance is a narcissist. He will be an emotional black hole sucking the happiness from you and everyone around him. He sees the world in terms of himself only and will isolate you from your family and friends as he proceeds to destroy your self worth. DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN. He is hard wired wrong and there is no fixing him. I wish someone had warned me before I went through hell for 13 years and only hearing my oldest son ask me to please divorce their dad and marry someone who liked them gave me the strength to divorce him. He fought me even though it hurt our boys. DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN AND NEVER LOOK BACK. I found my soulmate and we will soon celebrate our 30th anniversary.
Should never have gotten married. Op clearly doesn't value the husband. Husband and father should mind their own business.
This 'fiancé" presents more red flags than a Chinese Communist Party convention
Indeed. And just out of curiosity, does anyone know what happens to the OPs of all these AITA stories? It would be interesting to know what kind of decision they take...
Load More Replies... There is no way I would marry a person who disrespected my Father in this way. The fiance sounds toxic and controlling. He is always going to be like this, it's been 2 years and no change. I would postpone or cancel the wedding
I know it hurts to let go of your favorite toxic people especially if you invested in them a lot, time, love and all but....damn girl run
OP needs to run, and run far. I really hope she doesn't marry the guy and recognizes exactly how he's trying to manipulate her and isolate her from family who adores her. He's already been working on her, given her terminology; her father didn't 'refuse' to help fund the wedding, he couldn't. It's rich that the fiancee accusing her of being selfish, when he's the one who has displayed his selfishness again and again. He's trying to turn her against her father so that he can better control her. Hope this is the wake-up call she needs.
OP has a clear choice, choose between her father and her fiancé, because if she marries him the next step is "it's my home too, I get to say who can come in" and "it's my child too.." and so on. She can't have both because her (hopefully not) husband to be is making it clear she needs to choose between them.
And now you know what is really important to your fiancé. How much can you care about someone who only sees life as assets/debits?
Getting married at 23 yo - after barely 2 years- with a controlling a*****e. Some people are really looking for unhappiness.. Why??
How long do you think he will allow you to remain in contact with your father after you are married? This is not love, it's control and will only get worse.
Yeah, if such a fiance exists, I hope he becomes an ex-fiance immediately. I wouldn't burden anyone with money issues, much less the father of the woman I will be spending my life with. Sounds like nothing more than a miserly, controlling jerk-off.
The fiancé sounds like he's singing the national anthem of red flags. RUN, OP. RUN.
Do not marry the abusive control freak. Because he's an abusive control freak.
Run, he's bad news. It will only get worse. Imagine you just had a baby are physically in pain, exhausted, trying to feed the baby. Will he be loving? Understanding that you're overwhelmed? Want to help you anyway they can. Or is he critical because you had the baby a few days ago. You haven't bathed, dressed properly (to him), not wearing make up. Also the house is dirty, you haven't dusted and dishes are in the sink, he's embarrassed to have people over, etc. I suspect he's the second. I know someone who had friends.over for dinner, basically had a party when the baby was less than a week old. Things only got worse.
You'd think the father having helped produce the fiance would be enough.
Fiancé is not taking your legitimate reasons into consideration. 1) You don’t have much family and he raised you as a single parent. 2) it is traditionally the bride’s father who walks the bride down the aisle at her wedding. 3). Your father can’t afford to help pay for the wedding; he’s not refusing to do so. Your fiancé is being TA for bringing up the old truck every time he does it AND how can he blame your father for talking about his deceased wife? I would think hard before marrying this man. What happens if something bad happens to you? Does he stick it out?
As someone who was in a similar situation (ex hated all of my family and would have happily had me cut ties with them): You in danger, girl! Run! Get away from this AH fast. He will not change enough to be worthy of you or your family (who are part of you, not a throw away side).
If you love your parents, mostly everyone thinks they are nice people, YOU think they are good and nice people and then you meet someone who dislikes them, doesn't get on with them or tries to keep you away from them... run away very fast. It is very sad to be duped by a partner into not spending time with loved ones. You will e.g only ever have one loving Father, you can replace a boyfriend or fiancé many times.
The fiance is a total jerk. He is mistreating and disrespecting his fiancee's dad for no reason. He's full of s**t.
If the people you love most don't get along with your fiancé, DUMP HIM! NTA.
Ditch him. Might as well do it now as you'll do it later and by then he'll have made life difficult for your dad. Love is a chemical reaction.. which we cannot control but we can control how we treat people - with respect. Does he respect you, your decisions and your dad? He can be respectful of your wishes - if he chose to...
If you can't even agree on the wedding, where is the marriage headed?
This woman is breaking her dad's heart by marrying this loser. Heartbreaking.
How dare the fiance try to diminish the ops feelings for and relationship with the father who was with her and raised and loved her for 23 years and then claim SHE is disrespecting HIS feelings for not agreeing with him. Immoral, selfish and disgusting. He does not love her, if he did the things that are emotionally precious to her would be things he would nurture and protect to ensure her happiness. You don't ignore and disrespect the people that matter to your significant other if you love them. That path is just a world of hurt that gets deeper and more painful over time. Who wants that for the person they truly love?
DO NOT MARRY THIS JERK. He will isolate you from your family. He is already abusing you emotionally. Next, he will mentally drive you crazy and then he will start beating you. Run, Run as fast as you can. He is a danger to your health. So many red flags. Don't wait till you marry this creep. You are young and have plenty of time to find someone who respects you and your family.
Get rid of the guy now! Never give of parts of yourself for someone, cause he should love and respect your wishes, and because he don’t is a red flag! He sounds like a narcissist, he wants to isolate you and control you! That’s not love!
I liked the comment telling her she shouldn't have her dad walk her down the aisle...because she shouldn't be getting married to this a-hole.
How the wedding planning goes is indicative of how the planning will go for every single other thing in your life. The man you are about to marry is a gaslighter and emotionally manipulative, and also disrespectful of YOUR views on how you want the wedding to go. Run. Now. You deserve better, and your dad would think so too.
Why TF would you want to marry a Captain Obvious narcissist? Op is either blind or clueless and will have an unbearable future with him.
and you want to be married to that? after showing you his true colors this is what you want to spend your life with?
I truly hope you do not marry this guy. My daughter is married to one of those. He doesn't like us - (her parents and het brother) he even threatened her that he will get someone to kill us if she leaves him. Luckily her son moved out when he had the chance. He is 14 now and is safe with us. Ahe doesnt want to leave him, why i do not know. So many people is telling her to run. Yet she stays. Guess you get used to be treated like that. Please do not marry him. It gets worse not better
The fiancé sounds immature and unhinged. Premarital counseling may help the OP realize why she should not go through with the wedding. She doesn't necessarily need to "run", but STAND on principle that the boyfriend/fiancé is NOT someone she needs to have in her life.
Reading this gives me chills. Trying to cut her off from her family is a classic first move of coercive control. Like watching a child climb into a stranger’s car and not have the power to get them away from the risk. I hope the replies to her AITA post sway her judgement.
Oh honey, run the other way. The fiancé is broken and no amount of love is going to help him grow or be made whole.
This fiance is a narcissist. He will be an emotional black hole sucking the happiness from you and everyone around him. He sees the world in terms of himself only and will isolate you from your family and friends as he proceeds to destroy your self worth. DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN. He is hard wired wrong and there is no fixing him. I wish someone had warned me before I went through hell for 13 years and only hearing my oldest son ask me to please divorce their dad and marry someone who liked them gave me the strength to divorce him. He fought me even though it hurt our boys. DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN AND NEVER LOOK BACK. I found my soulmate and we will soon celebrate our 30th anniversary.
Should never have gotten married. Op clearly doesn't value the husband. Husband and father should mind their own business.
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