“The Whole Table Went Silent”: Person Calls Brother’s GF A Gold Digger After She Googled The Cost Of Their Christmas Gifts
The unfortunate reality is that some people are only interested in you because of how fat your wallet is. They’re in it for the cash, not out of any genuine feelings of love or friendship. Eventually realizing this can hurt quite a bit. They’re not who you think they were—you feel betrayed. However, not everyone is quite ready for the harsh truth.
Redditor u/golddiggergoogle opened up about a particularly strange Christmas celebration at their house. They’d invited their parents, as well as their brother, along with his girlfriend of seven months. Things quickly took a bizarre turn when she started inquiring about how much everything cost. The tension rose when she actually started researching how expensive the gifts were, and commenting on it.
This prompted the redditor to call their brother’s partner out for her behavior. They called her “the world’s most diligent gold digger.” Read on for the full story. Do you think the author of the post was a jerk or did they do nothing wrong? What would you have done, dear Pandas? Be sure to share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear what you think.
It’s tacky and rude to ask your hosts how much everything costs. Apparently, not everyone got the memo
Image credits: Eugene Zhyvchik (not the actual photo)
A person shared how they called out their brother’s girlfriend after she displayed some very gold digger-like behavior
Image credits: golddiggergoogle
Image credits: Kelsey Chance (not the actual photo)
Most people would agree that the brother’s girlfriend behaved outrageously. Asking how much everything costs isn’t something you do in polite company. Especially if you’ve been invited for the holidays. In short: don’t Google how much everyone’s gifts cost; but if you do, don’t start proclaiming the total amount on Christmas Day. Just… don’t.
So, generally, many internet users definitely agree that the woman blundered across countless social and ethical boundaries. The only real question that remains is whether the OP stepped over the line with how they called her out.
Many redditors felt like the author did nothing wrong, and that they shouldn’t apologize for how forward they were during the awkward interaction. Though some internet users wondered if the term, ‘gold digger’ was the right one here, the consensus was more or less that the girlfriend acted in a rude, bizarre, and tacky way.
A major red flag that indicates someone’s in the relationship just for the money is that they never offer to pay for anything. Someone who really loves you would buy you small gifts from time to time, would offer to pay for meals or activities. If they don’t have a lot of money, the offer to go Dutch is what shows their dedication and willingness to sacrifice something for you.
On the flip side, someone who never speaks up when the bill comes along probably expects you to pay for everything. That’s not a good sign if you’re in the relationship for the long term!
The point of all of this is that financial stability is an important aspect of any relationship. And both partners ought to be on the same page about their expectations and any possible money problems. And that’s key here—honesty! If one partner isn’t being genuine with their feelings and financial intentions, there’s not much hope for a bright future.
The story got a lot of attention online. Here’s what some readers said and how the author reacted to their comments
I think she probably just grew up in a very different socioeconomic bracket. It was probably surreal to see how much money they were spending so casually. Calling her a "gold digger" was uncalled for because it wasn't gold digger behaviour. She she received a gift and scoffed at it because it was cheap, then that name would be appropriate. I do agree it's also inappropriate to be asking people the costs of such things though...
That’s what I think too. My mother does this constantly and I think it’s because she grew up poor and worrying about money and how much things cost has become deeply ingrained, we joke about her being a golddigger sometimes but she absolutely isn’t.
I came to say something similar. I grew up in a family where money was discussed openly. My parents felt that being honest with us kids about the money they make and how they spend it would help us understand how to spend wisely and appreciate what we have. For example, my dad would always tell us how much a meal cost when we dined out. They would tell us how much a Christmas present cost if we asked. It wasn’t until I was in college that I learned it wasn’t normal to discuss money so liberally and it’s actually rude to ask someone how much money they spent. I felt like an a*****e when someone finally called me out and explained it. I have met other people who were raised the same way so it’s possible Lindsey was too.
Growing up in a different socioeconomic background doesn't excuse her blatant lack of good manners and common sense.
Right? I grew up poor, I didn't grow up a socially incompetent dunce.
Exactly! I grew up poor, heck I'm still poor but I would never behave like this Lindsey girl did. Yeah my friends and I sometimes discuss how much we paid for things (clothes, kid stuff, etc.) but that mostly because we're excited by the great deal we got at the thrift store or on a clearance rack or something like that. "That's a cute sweater." "Thanks! It was only $6 at that new thrift store in town!"
I fully agree but it also doesn’t make her a gold digger. She’s an idiot. It’s not the same thing.
Actually she sounds like she's both.
She sounds Neurodivergent who grew up poor. I am Neurodivergent and grew up poor. I probably wouldn't say what she did but I'd probably google the costs out of pure habit.
🤣🤣🤣
Let’s not be too hypocritical. Her only mistake was not waiting to do it behind their backs like all the rest of us. Every lower income bracket is one part awed, one part horrified, by the spending of those in higher brackets.
My thoughts exactly. Still, never add things up while at someone's house. And unless she scoffs at the Louis Vuitton bag you got them for Christmas because it's not expensive enough, then they're not a gold digger, either.
I agree...I don't think her behavior sounded to me like "gold digger " behavior! She clearly was not schooled in social graces...but her remarks made her seem as if she was in awe of how people lived and spent money which the way she approached it was none of her business and off-putting for sure. I don't think she should have been reprimanded in front of everyone like that. Had this been my family...I simply would have said...young lady (I would have used her name) it's Christmas let's enjoy each other's company and drop the discussion if money and the price of all the gifts and the things we have that we worked a lifetime for...money and people's finances aren't appropriate holiday discussion .."now who wants a cocktail??"
Her only mistake was not waiting to do it behind their backs like all the rest of us. Every lower income bracket is one part awed, one part horrified, by the spending of those in higher brackets.
My dad's girlfriend did this exact stuff. But none of us are wealthy. Usually then goes off about how much money she has(had) and tries to appraise everyone for their net worth as she plies cosmetic surgery from my dad.
My thoughts exactly.
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"Socioeconomic Bracket", that's one of the dumbest sh*t I've ever heard. Y'all come up with these woke wack terms to defend all kinda garbage. So basically, she grew up poorer and that excuses being rude, nosey and not knowing how to mind her own damn business? Where do y'all get this stuff? It's amazing how you people defend and excuse rubbish just because someone was "less fortunate", which you are clearly assuming. Cut it out please. You don't come to someone's house and start asking how much this and that is. People who do rubbish like that, are surely lacking in the social department. Doesn't have a damn thing to do with her "Socioeconomic Bracket". It has more to do with her sociopathy if anything.
I hope you realize that everyone here whether they share you opinion or the more positive opinion it's all assumption so instead of assuming someone is a jerk because they talked about numbers how about you stop being sensitive. What if I asked you how much your shoes cost? Would it really matter on either end of the question at the end of the day? No it wouldn't. The lady didn't start stealing stuff and she didn't ask for his social security so she didn't do anything wrong because it's ridiculous and ignorant to be so sensitive about talking about a social construct used to pay someone or for something. Considering she apologized immediately and even stuttered out of embarrassment would imply that she wasn't intending rudeness, read the situation better
Ok ... I might catch flack for this... But it didn't seem that the girlfriend's tone was judgy, just curious. I can't fault her for being curious and perhaps she just grew up in a family where they talked about this stuff openly and had no idea. If that's the case the boyfriend is an AH for not pulling her aside himself after her first comment. Curiosity is forgivable. If she was catty (which it doesn't sound like she is) then she's a golddigger
I agree with you. It sounds like innocent ignorance, like she didn’t know it wasn’t polite. It also sounds like she was surprised at how much things cost, like they were all more expensive than she thought. Maybe trust fund baby cutoff and in the real world for the first time? Maybe grew up in a lower SES and wasn’t accustomed to being around things this expensive? It sounds like there’s a reason behind it all. Gold digger doesn’t sound right, she wasn’t poor shaming it demanding more expensive things for herself. But, I also don’t understand this don’t talk about money social rule. I know it’s a thing, but it doesn’t make sense to why we can’t talk about how much we make, how much our house cost and how we’re paying it off, what we plan to save for retirement, etc. I do talk about these things openly with people. But not in a bragging or judgemental way. Just discussing how best to handle finances. Are salaried fair at work? Things like that.
I agree. I don’t get the stigma but I think it has to do with wealth and paranoia of the wealthy that their wealth will be taken so they don’t talk about it and it’s become in bad taste to talk about it. If someone ask’s me how much I make, I tell then I don’t get offended because why would I? Im not ashamed of it and Im not trying to one up anyone in life. 🤷🏼♀️
Good point. From what I read about wealthy upper class families that have been that way for for centuries the will actually tell there kids that's it rude to ask if they are rich so yeah
It's not one upping anyone by keeping private information private. If you are the type who doesn't care about privacy, then fine, but most people do, and discussing your income, or personal family worth, (especially with basic strangers) is considered tacky to most people.
As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
Yeah she sounds on the spectrum.and the brother not saying anything did alot of damage. Or maybe he did say something, in a round about way, but if she is on the spectrum, she wouldn't have caught it. Maybe she's never been diagnosed
How much things cost is not really private information tho. I mean she was able to look it all up so it’s not private. It’s just taboo to talk about for whatever reason. You say it’s tacky but don’t really dive into why it’s actually tacky. What make’s it tacky other then generational conditioning and being told from a young age it is?
This is what I wonder. I don’t grasp why it’s tacky or rude. I never understood that. And my family didn’t talk openly about money either so idk why I feel so okay sharing about it.
I think it falls into two categories, poor vs rich. People who are poor don’t care cause they have nothing to hide and people who are wealthy are paranoid if they talk about their wealth it will get stolen from them so they say it’s tacky to talk about but really it doesn’t matter. Was it not common practice for the wealthy to hide all their wealth in off shore bank accounts and this was all leaked in 2016. Seems like what happened is a poor girl was somehow in the company of the rich and got told real quick she can’t sit with them because her social cues made them uneasy. She wasn’t actually even mean or vicious or conniving on purpose. Maybe naive but seemed more innocent then anything else. I feel bad for her being snapped at like that.
You make a good point. There is nothing wrong with keeping personal information private if you prefer that and I didn’t mean to imply not discussing finances meant anything negative. I guess I just don’t consider my salary or what I have left on my house as private. I also know it’s tacky or rude to discuss money, I just don’t truly know why. And I should have been more clear about WHO I discuss money with. It’s not random people I meet or strangers. I mean good friends. Sometimes good co-worker friends.
People think I have a fraction of the money I actually have and they still constantly ask for $$$. It's not paranoia.
Sorry,but in my family,immediate and otherwise,and social group,responses to questions about personal things like wages begin with Noneya,as in,noneya business.
She just can't help herself. I know people that are obsessed with numbers and it's just how they function. But there is such a thing as tact...
Then she was completely ignorant of social norms, of which she grew up in the same culture. Sorry, but she seemed unable to read the room. It should have been obvious to her that people were uncomfortable with her comment, but she didn't catch on. Therefore, I'd suggest she was one of two things, 1) just rude and mouthy or 2) she WAS a bit autistic or an aspie, in which case, she should get a diagnosis from a professional. If she does not, she will become a very unpopular lady.
Completely agree, I have an aunt who grew up without money, and after she married my uncle he went on to be very successful. She is very nice, but if you compliment something of hers, first thing she will do is tell you where she got it and how much it cost. She isn't doing it to put people down or show off, it's more she doesn't get why you wouldn't talk about the cost.
It may have come across as catty as she did make comments about being unsure how they afford things in January and talked about how crazy they were for spending so much on artwork to the point it was uncomfortable. To me it sounds like how my little cousin with Asperger's can be buuut despite having a background in psych I know enough to know I don't know anywhere near enough to make a diagnosis from a reddit post.
Yes, I agree with your analysis. As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
Unless she's 13, she should know better. If she is neurodivergent, the brother should have mentioned it when the family approached him about her behaviour.
The brother may not know. Some people with high-function Autism do not get tested because they just are not in the know about it. As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
Curious isn’t asking prices, but saying something more along the lines of “I love your decorations! Where did you get them!” That indicates she might want to buy some for her own home. If she wants to price everything, she can do it on the sly, not be so up front about it, or mention it at all. What does she do for a living, like does her work entail asking prices, so it’s just a hard habit to break? Tax assessor? Antiques or art buyer? Auction house appraiser? Then again, normal socializing does dictate you don’t ask prices unless someone says the thing you’re looking at us for sale and you want to buy it. Or, she’s just happy to be with a guy whose family seems to be well off—-so the gold digger statement was spot on.
As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
Has anyone ever think maybe the gf didn't have all this before and this is why she is just calculating. To me the gf is being very prudent type! Why cause, she even mentioned how can the family afford the holiday after what been spent. So this is a give away about someone being very prudent cause it could be in her life she never spent that much before.
Oh come on, I could think that if she were a child but as a grown up this is simply a question of manners.
I definitely can an will fault her. Keep your mouth SHUT. If you are curious, ask your boyfriend about it in private. SHE WAS WAY OUT OF LINE and deserved every embarrassment. Maybe next time she’ll learn some social graces!
Agreed. I don't think she's a gold digger, just incredibly stupid.
Socially inept is not the same as stupid.
I agree, socially inept is not stupid. Further, being ignorant of your sub cultures norms is not stupid either.
As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
I don't know, I found the tone like someone said almost autistic, like she seemed completely unaware that it was inappropriate, and maybe even thought she was complimenting them
I agree She seams to be in the Spectrum, and we say " dumb " c**p like this every time, its not meant as an insult, its ( at least for me ) perfectly normal conversation, and unless someone Tells me not to say this or that, i don't even notice Im being a twat.
I really don't know if its part of autism, but I find myself rather obsessed by some stupid detail, which could be money, at times. By now I tend to know I shouldn't pursue it according to social rules...but it is damn hard not to. Anyway, a good honest, but not judgemental talk seems in order here.
Could be spectrum, could be having grown up in a different way. So many things it could be before being a golddigger.
Don't worry. Sometimes it is refreshing having a conversation with someone that's super blunt.
If she's in the spectrum the brother should have mentioned that so the family could make allowances for her being a twat.
Or people should quit expecting everyone to be the same and know all the unspoken rules that they are used to. She didn't actually say something to anyone as an inult. To call her an insulting name in respose was an AH move.
Maybe she doesn't know she's on the spectrum.
Btw I realized my comment could be taken as insulting all people on the spectrum...I just used "twat" since Paulo mentioned that's what they come across sometimes. But the brother knows the family's unspoken rules, obviously, and also knew Lindsay would come across rude in that setting....and didn't think to correct her so she didn't make an a** of herself.
This was my first thought too. Whatever the reason though, it sounds obvious that she didn't realize what she was doing was socially inappropriate. Embarrassing her purposely over it is TA move.
Yeah, calling themselves polite company after that was ludicrous. They were so not polite.
I agree! It's almost what i would think is fine saying if i was surprised at how rich someone else is. Also counting, maybe she really likes to count or add up expenses if she sounded so proud after adding them up. I hope if she is autistic, that she'll get diagnosis so maybe her partners family will understand she's harmless
Even better would be if the family just accepted her, and other people, fot who they are instead of being ready to call people insulting names. Maybe her topic of conversation wouldn't be acceptable in polite company, but since that family is clearly NOT polite, it's fine.
One of my son's friends is autistic and he can come across as very rude because he's waaaay too honest. I just let it go because he's not doing it on purpose.
I think she probably just grew up in a very different socioeconomic bracket. It was probably surreal to see how much money they were spending so casually. Calling her a "gold digger" was uncalled for because it wasn't gold digger behaviour. She she received a gift and scoffed at it because it was cheap, then that name would be appropriate. I do agree it's also inappropriate to be asking people the costs of such things though...
That’s what I think too. My mother does this constantly and I think it’s because she grew up poor and worrying about money and how much things cost has become deeply ingrained, we joke about her being a golddigger sometimes but she absolutely isn’t.
I came to say something similar. I grew up in a family where money was discussed openly. My parents felt that being honest with us kids about the money they make and how they spend it would help us understand how to spend wisely and appreciate what we have. For example, my dad would always tell us how much a meal cost when we dined out. They would tell us how much a Christmas present cost if we asked. It wasn’t until I was in college that I learned it wasn’t normal to discuss money so liberally and it’s actually rude to ask someone how much money they spent. I felt like an a*****e when someone finally called me out and explained it. I have met other people who were raised the same way so it’s possible Lindsey was too.
Growing up in a different socioeconomic background doesn't excuse her blatant lack of good manners and common sense.
Right? I grew up poor, I didn't grow up a socially incompetent dunce.
Exactly! I grew up poor, heck I'm still poor but I would never behave like this Lindsey girl did. Yeah my friends and I sometimes discuss how much we paid for things (clothes, kid stuff, etc.) but that mostly because we're excited by the great deal we got at the thrift store or on a clearance rack or something like that. "That's a cute sweater." "Thanks! It was only $6 at that new thrift store in town!"
I fully agree but it also doesn’t make her a gold digger. She’s an idiot. It’s not the same thing.
Actually she sounds like she's both.
She sounds Neurodivergent who grew up poor. I am Neurodivergent and grew up poor. I probably wouldn't say what she did but I'd probably google the costs out of pure habit.
🤣🤣🤣
Let’s not be too hypocritical. Her only mistake was not waiting to do it behind their backs like all the rest of us. Every lower income bracket is one part awed, one part horrified, by the spending of those in higher brackets.
My thoughts exactly. Still, never add things up while at someone's house. And unless she scoffs at the Louis Vuitton bag you got them for Christmas because it's not expensive enough, then they're not a gold digger, either.
I agree...I don't think her behavior sounded to me like "gold digger " behavior! She clearly was not schooled in social graces...but her remarks made her seem as if she was in awe of how people lived and spent money which the way she approached it was none of her business and off-putting for sure. I don't think she should have been reprimanded in front of everyone like that. Had this been my family...I simply would have said...young lady (I would have used her name) it's Christmas let's enjoy each other's company and drop the discussion if money and the price of all the gifts and the things we have that we worked a lifetime for...money and people's finances aren't appropriate holiday discussion .."now who wants a cocktail??"
Her only mistake was not waiting to do it behind their backs like all the rest of us. Every lower income bracket is one part awed, one part horrified, by the spending of those in higher brackets.
My dad's girlfriend did this exact stuff. But none of us are wealthy. Usually then goes off about how much money she has(had) and tries to appraise everyone for their net worth as she plies cosmetic surgery from my dad.
My thoughts exactly.
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"Socioeconomic Bracket", that's one of the dumbest sh*t I've ever heard. Y'all come up with these woke wack terms to defend all kinda garbage. So basically, she grew up poorer and that excuses being rude, nosey and not knowing how to mind her own damn business? Where do y'all get this stuff? It's amazing how you people defend and excuse rubbish just because someone was "less fortunate", which you are clearly assuming. Cut it out please. You don't come to someone's house and start asking how much this and that is. People who do rubbish like that, are surely lacking in the social department. Doesn't have a damn thing to do with her "Socioeconomic Bracket". It has more to do with her sociopathy if anything.
I hope you realize that everyone here whether they share you opinion or the more positive opinion it's all assumption so instead of assuming someone is a jerk because they talked about numbers how about you stop being sensitive. What if I asked you how much your shoes cost? Would it really matter on either end of the question at the end of the day? No it wouldn't. The lady didn't start stealing stuff and she didn't ask for his social security so she didn't do anything wrong because it's ridiculous and ignorant to be so sensitive about talking about a social construct used to pay someone or for something. Considering she apologized immediately and even stuttered out of embarrassment would imply that she wasn't intending rudeness, read the situation better
Ok ... I might catch flack for this... But it didn't seem that the girlfriend's tone was judgy, just curious. I can't fault her for being curious and perhaps she just grew up in a family where they talked about this stuff openly and had no idea. If that's the case the boyfriend is an AH for not pulling her aside himself after her first comment. Curiosity is forgivable. If she was catty (which it doesn't sound like she is) then she's a golddigger
I agree with you. It sounds like innocent ignorance, like she didn’t know it wasn’t polite. It also sounds like she was surprised at how much things cost, like they were all more expensive than she thought. Maybe trust fund baby cutoff and in the real world for the first time? Maybe grew up in a lower SES and wasn’t accustomed to being around things this expensive? It sounds like there’s a reason behind it all. Gold digger doesn’t sound right, she wasn’t poor shaming it demanding more expensive things for herself. But, I also don’t understand this don’t talk about money social rule. I know it’s a thing, but it doesn’t make sense to why we can’t talk about how much we make, how much our house cost and how we’re paying it off, what we plan to save for retirement, etc. I do talk about these things openly with people. But not in a bragging or judgemental way. Just discussing how best to handle finances. Are salaried fair at work? Things like that.
I agree. I don’t get the stigma but I think it has to do with wealth and paranoia of the wealthy that their wealth will be taken so they don’t talk about it and it’s become in bad taste to talk about it. If someone ask’s me how much I make, I tell then I don’t get offended because why would I? Im not ashamed of it and Im not trying to one up anyone in life. 🤷🏼♀️
Good point. From what I read about wealthy upper class families that have been that way for for centuries the will actually tell there kids that's it rude to ask if they are rich so yeah
It's not one upping anyone by keeping private information private. If you are the type who doesn't care about privacy, then fine, but most people do, and discussing your income, or personal family worth, (especially with basic strangers) is considered tacky to most people.
As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
Yeah she sounds on the spectrum.and the brother not saying anything did alot of damage. Or maybe he did say something, in a round about way, but if she is on the spectrum, she wouldn't have caught it. Maybe she's never been diagnosed
How much things cost is not really private information tho. I mean she was able to look it all up so it’s not private. It’s just taboo to talk about for whatever reason. You say it’s tacky but don’t really dive into why it’s actually tacky. What make’s it tacky other then generational conditioning and being told from a young age it is?
This is what I wonder. I don’t grasp why it’s tacky or rude. I never understood that. And my family didn’t talk openly about money either so idk why I feel so okay sharing about it.
I think it falls into two categories, poor vs rich. People who are poor don’t care cause they have nothing to hide and people who are wealthy are paranoid if they talk about their wealth it will get stolen from them so they say it’s tacky to talk about but really it doesn’t matter. Was it not common practice for the wealthy to hide all their wealth in off shore bank accounts and this was all leaked in 2016. Seems like what happened is a poor girl was somehow in the company of the rich and got told real quick she can’t sit with them because her social cues made them uneasy. She wasn’t actually even mean or vicious or conniving on purpose. Maybe naive but seemed more innocent then anything else. I feel bad for her being snapped at like that.
You make a good point. There is nothing wrong with keeping personal information private if you prefer that and I didn’t mean to imply not discussing finances meant anything negative. I guess I just don’t consider my salary or what I have left on my house as private. I also know it’s tacky or rude to discuss money, I just don’t truly know why. And I should have been more clear about WHO I discuss money with. It’s not random people I meet or strangers. I mean good friends. Sometimes good co-worker friends.
People think I have a fraction of the money I actually have and they still constantly ask for $$$. It's not paranoia.
Sorry,but in my family,immediate and otherwise,and social group,responses to questions about personal things like wages begin with Noneya,as in,noneya business.
She just can't help herself. I know people that are obsessed with numbers and it's just how they function. But there is such a thing as tact...
Then she was completely ignorant of social norms, of which she grew up in the same culture. Sorry, but she seemed unable to read the room. It should have been obvious to her that people were uncomfortable with her comment, but she didn't catch on. Therefore, I'd suggest she was one of two things, 1) just rude and mouthy or 2) she WAS a bit autistic or an aspie, in which case, she should get a diagnosis from a professional. If she does not, she will become a very unpopular lady.
Completely agree, I have an aunt who grew up without money, and after she married my uncle he went on to be very successful. She is very nice, but if you compliment something of hers, first thing she will do is tell you where she got it and how much it cost. She isn't doing it to put people down or show off, it's more she doesn't get why you wouldn't talk about the cost.
It may have come across as catty as she did make comments about being unsure how they afford things in January and talked about how crazy they were for spending so much on artwork to the point it was uncomfortable. To me it sounds like how my little cousin with Asperger's can be buuut despite having a background in psych I know enough to know I don't know anywhere near enough to make a diagnosis from a reddit post.
Yes, I agree with your analysis. As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
Unless she's 13, she should know better. If she is neurodivergent, the brother should have mentioned it when the family approached him about her behaviour.
The brother may not know. Some people with high-function Autism do not get tested because they just are not in the know about it. As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
Curious isn’t asking prices, but saying something more along the lines of “I love your decorations! Where did you get them!” That indicates she might want to buy some for her own home. If she wants to price everything, she can do it on the sly, not be so up front about it, or mention it at all. What does she do for a living, like does her work entail asking prices, so it’s just a hard habit to break? Tax assessor? Antiques or art buyer? Auction house appraiser? Then again, normal socializing does dictate you don’t ask prices unless someone says the thing you’re looking at us for sale and you want to buy it. Or, she’s just happy to be with a guy whose family seems to be well off—-so the gold digger statement was spot on.
As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
Has anyone ever think maybe the gf didn't have all this before and this is why she is just calculating. To me the gf is being very prudent type! Why cause, she even mentioned how can the family afford the holiday after what been spent. So this is a give away about someone being very prudent cause it could be in her life she never spent that much before.
Oh come on, I could think that if she were a child but as a grown up this is simply a question of manners.
I definitely can an will fault her. Keep your mouth SHUT. If you are curious, ask your boyfriend about it in private. SHE WAS WAY OUT OF LINE and deserved every embarrassment. Maybe next time she’ll learn some social graces!
Agreed. I don't think she's a gold digger, just incredibly stupid.
Socially inept is not the same as stupid.
I agree, socially inept is not stupid. Further, being ignorant of your sub cultures norms is not stupid either.
As some one who is from a line of Autism from my mother's side, I did this. I thought it was normal. My brain is wired differently. I was then pointed out what I did and now I control myself. But I never did it to judge.
I don't know, I found the tone like someone said almost autistic, like she seemed completely unaware that it was inappropriate, and maybe even thought she was complimenting them
I agree She seams to be in the Spectrum, and we say " dumb " c**p like this every time, its not meant as an insult, its ( at least for me ) perfectly normal conversation, and unless someone Tells me not to say this or that, i don't even notice Im being a twat.
I really don't know if its part of autism, but I find myself rather obsessed by some stupid detail, which could be money, at times. By now I tend to know I shouldn't pursue it according to social rules...but it is damn hard not to. Anyway, a good honest, but not judgemental talk seems in order here.
Could be spectrum, could be having grown up in a different way. So many things it could be before being a golddigger.
Don't worry. Sometimes it is refreshing having a conversation with someone that's super blunt.
If she's in the spectrum the brother should have mentioned that so the family could make allowances for her being a twat.
Or people should quit expecting everyone to be the same and know all the unspoken rules that they are used to. She didn't actually say something to anyone as an inult. To call her an insulting name in respose was an AH move.
Maybe she doesn't know she's on the spectrum.
Btw I realized my comment could be taken as insulting all people on the spectrum...I just used "twat" since Paulo mentioned that's what they come across sometimes. But the brother knows the family's unspoken rules, obviously, and also knew Lindsay would come across rude in that setting....and didn't think to correct her so she didn't make an a** of herself.
This was my first thought too. Whatever the reason though, it sounds obvious that she didn't realize what she was doing was socially inappropriate. Embarrassing her purposely over it is TA move.
Yeah, calling themselves polite company after that was ludicrous. They were so not polite.
I agree! It's almost what i would think is fine saying if i was surprised at how rich someone else is. Also counting, maybe she really likes to count or add up expenses if she sounded so proud after adding them up. I hope if she is autistic, that she'll get diagnosis so maybe her partners family will understand she's harmless
Even better would be if the family just accepted her, and other people, fot who they are instead of being ready to call people insulting names. Maybe her topic of conversation wouldn't be acceptable in polite company, but since that family is clearly NOT polite, it's fine.
One of my son's friends is autistic and he can come across as very rude because he's waaaay too honest. I just let it go because he's not doing it on purpose.