Person “Destroys Their Family” After Buying An Ancestry Kit And Learning Their Dad Isn’t Their Biological Father
Imgur user Aharit has always been curious about their ancestors. So, to learn more about them, they recently bought a couple of those genetic testing kits everyone can find online. Aharit used one and they gave the other to their dad. But when the two of them got back the results, it was nothing like they expected.
According to the findings, Aharit and their dad do not share the same DNA, meaning they aren’t related biologically. Neither of them had the slightest clue, and the only person who could’ve known anything about this—Aharit’s mom—passed away from Alzheimer’s disease in 2017. Eventually, Aharit shared their story on Imgur, detailing the complex emotions they’ve been going through during this difficult time. People immediately started sending them their best wishes, reminding that the results don’t change the past the father and child had shared. After Bored Panda got in touch with Aharit, it’s clear that the family think the same way, refusing to let genetics mess up their bond.
Image credits: Aharit
Aharit said their mom and dad are great, and their personalities match really well. “Unfortunately, as I was still relatively young when my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, I never got a true opportunity to get to know her super well. That doesn’t mean she wasn’t there for me or anything like that. She was always there for me,” they told Bored Panda. She actually left work when I was born to raise me full-time, leaving my dad to be the main breadwinner for our family. I’m an only child, and my mom raised me to the best of her ability.”
To this day, Aharit’s dad says that one of the biggest regrets he has had is not being able to spend as much time as he probably ‘should have’ with his kid. “He did work a lot, and he also traveled a bit for work, but when he was home, he gave me any attention that I required,” Aharit said. “He helped me with any school work that my mom couldn’t help with for whatever reason. He helped me with all of my science fair projects and he was also very involved with my education, as much as he could be while also working.”
In Aharit’s eyes, however, their dad did everything they could to help raise them. “He taught me how to ride a bike, and how to play sports, even though I’ve never been a sporty individual. When I was about 13, he ‘semi-retired’ from where he worked for many years and he started working at a more local business part-time. When my mom got sick, he did everything in his power to care for her. He bathed her, fed her and dressed her. He sang to her, and spoke to her even when she couldn’t respond back.”
“They both deeply cared for each other, I know that for a fact,” Aharit commented on their parents’ marriage. “When they got married, they promised each other to ‘never go to bed upset’ and to always try to work out any differences that would come up between them. I have no recollection of ever hearing them raise their voices at the other. There was never any form of abuse toward each other, let alone towards me. We lived a very good life, and I’d say they had a positively amazing marriage.
The test results immediately broke Aharit down into tears. “I didn’t know what to think,” they said. “Growing up, it had been thrown about as a joke that both of my parents were blue-eyed and I was brown-eyed, so I must be the milkman’s son! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that to actually be the case. I had looked into it before and I knew it was rare – but possible – for 2 blue-eyed parents to have a brown-eyed child, so that’s just what I believed for my entire life up to that moment.
Aharit thought the conclusions were wrong, however, it was very unlikely. “I called my dad immediately. Still sobbing uncontrollably. He was deeply worried about what had me so upset. I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and one of the symptoms of that is abandonment issues. My head was spinning with thoughts like ‘I’m going to lose my dad over this.’ I don’t have much in the way of friends. I have one amazing friend online but that’s basically it. My dad is my rock and I couldn’t imagine living without him in my life.”
They told him what the test said and he was adamant that it was wrong. “He had been in the room when I was born. He pointed out that his birthday was 9 months before my birthday and (awkwardly) pointed out that it’s not uncommon for couples to have sex on each other’s birthdays. I couldn’t drop the subject though, regardless of what he said. I pointed out all the ways the 23&me test showed we were completely different. And the fact that we didn’t share any ancestors in the past 4 generations really hurt me. Eventually, he calmed me down, he assured me that no matter what this test means, he’s still my father, and my mom is still my mom. It didn’t matter to him what some stupid test says. I went to visit him in person the next day and we talked it over some more and he’s still insistent that something isn’t right, but not to let it cloud my memories of my mom, and that he still sees himself as my dad no matter what. He’s been in my life for 30 years, after all, he can’t just stop now because of this.”
Here’s what the people said about Aharit’s situation
Being adopted I can tell you that no test, quiz or other testing of family ties can affect familial love. I adored my parents, even when I inadvertently found out I wasn't biologically their child. After the initial shock, I knew I loved them more than ever.
I want to curse so badly to that....... jerk who is insulting other people with their username.
Load More Replies...I wouldn’t trust those test kits, I have heard a few times that the tests have come back with questionable results. Apparently a set of twins were found to be unrelated. Either way, blood doesn’t make him any less of your father,.
My test didn’t show any Spanish ancestry even though it is known that my maternal grandmother was part Spanish. I think they lump all Filipino persons as Asian, even though many are part Spanish, i.e., part Caucasian. I regard 23andMe as just something to do for fun. At least get a real test and a consult with a genealogist before getting dramatic. Or better yet, forget about it and don’t worry your father over a $100 mail order novelty test.
Load More Replies...It was possible that babies were switched by accident in the hospital nursery- I'd bet it wasn't common , but mistakes like this have been known to happen. In any case, who you believe is Dad is still Dad- no matter what biology says
Did you read about the identical twins that were switched in the hospital? Amazing story. They didn't find each other until their 20s. Both sets thought they were fraternal, not identical switched at birth. Jorge, William, Wilber, and Carlos, I think.
Load More Replies...I personally don't trust anything that involves sending my DNA to some giant database somewhere via the internet. Like a lot of people are saying, the kits can sometimes be faulty, so don't fret about 'destroying' your family until you and your dad have been tested by a legit geneticist. If the kits weren't faulty, don't feel like *you* destroyed the family, how were you to know?
Those kits are notorious for being inaccurate, there is a video of twins taking the same dna kit and they have completely different results. I wouldn’t but much stock in them , if you want to know if he’s your biological and I say biological because no matter what he’s still your dad. Go have a paternity test done ,
This also may have been a situation where mom and dad tried their hardest to have a kid but could not, so mom took it into her own hands to make sure it happened. If there was another man, he was nothing more than a sperm donor. This was not so uncommon 30+ years ago. You may want to check with your dad to see if they had difficulty conceiving. That also might explain the results. Dad might also be denying the tests are correct, but knows the biological difference. He may just be ashamed to admit it. The key there is to let him know there is nothing to be ashamed of.
I don’t think I’d trust the test. You know your mom and dad’s relationship. Why not believe your own eyes instead of some mail order test? I know they got mine wrong too, not in the same way, but enough that I wouldn’t get too invested in the test results being correct. Do yourself a favor and forget about it.
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Load More Replies...Dear lord, people put way too much importance on this stuff. You had a happy childhood? Then be grateful! There are a lot of people who don't get that privilege.
The test just confirmed the reason for the eye color mismatch. What's the chance of the unlikely event that the kit is wrong and the unlikely event of the eye color miracle?
I was adopted. Did this man raise you in a loving environment? Did he do his best to be a good father? If so, he WAS your Dad. End of story. Forgive your mom, we are all human. But if it is that important get a second genetic test and never trust those kits.
YOU didn't destroy anything...a "family" has endless definitions.
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Load More Replies...It is also possible that the dad could be mosaic. Although quite rare, some people carry different genes in their reproductive cells compared to their Gene's everywhere else. This happend to a mother 3 times. She almost had her kids taken away from her.
You find what really counts in the text above: "I went to visit him in person the next day and we talked it over some more and he’s still insistent that something isn’t right, but not to let it cloud my memories of my mom, and that he still sees himself as my dad no matter what. He’s been in my life for 30 years, after all, he can’t just stop now because of this.” He's his/her Dad, no matter what. 30 years, growing up together (this doesn't stop, it slows down and seems to restart once you have own children...), a ton of shared memories - all that counts. I know it's easy to say so from a distant-stranger point of view, but ... you can't ask your Mum anymore and to me it seems like he cares more for who you are, shared history and the family you three were than for ... other possible reasons it came to this result. It also may be some mistake on their side, although unlikely, it's possible - they analyze a sample ... which can be accidentally exchanged or something...
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...He raised you since you came into this world. Be thankful for what you have. I was adopted at birth back in the fifties. Single mother, already had 2 children. I was immediately by two very loving people that I'm proud to have called Mom and Dad. Their gone now and I have grand kids. Their family tree on my side starts with me. And I have met my birth mom. Had a great relationship for a couple of years. Seems like a lifetime ago.
I'm not sure if I'd believe a mail test on this one. If you want to be 100% I'd call the doctor and have them run a DNA test
Mom could have been raped.. it is not something (especially before in those days) women would say out loud...
A retest would advisable in this case. Also babies can be accidentally switched in the hospital even now, or the young man's mother could have been have been raped and never told anyone. There are a Lot of scenarios here that could be the case. But the man that brought him up, that's his real father 💖
If there is any living close relatives from mothers side of the family you could test if you have any match with them. If not then your father is right your mum didn't have affair and you have just changed in the hospital after birth. But I'm not sure witch one would be better.
I've just took a DNA and none of my family are biological relatives to me,including my mother and father who have both recently died
Mendelian genetics may have foisted a recessive gene admixture into your zygote. See if you can find dark brown eyes 3 -5 generations back, on either side. -Dr M (who knows that he is adopted)
They will also, on next you to relatives you didn't know were your relatives! So this may provide a. Lue as to who your father may be! But bottom line, your dad, IS YOUR DAD! He has been there and will be there for you! But to get some genetic history for medical purposes, look up which people hey say you share DNA with. Might make you feel better. Many things could have happened and you may never know just what. But like I said, your dad, will always be your dad. HE loves you!
Many things could have happened here. Test not reliable. Hospital baby swap. Mom had a secret. Etc. I you really want to know, take a reliable test and also test someone on your mom's side to see if you're related to them.
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Load More Replies...There's a family in my home town that this happened to also. Their oldest daughter bought an ancestry dna kit. Apparently they had a shotgun wedding because her mother was pregnant with her....... it's still unclear whether or not she knew that he wasn't the father of her unborn child. I'm sure things are a little awkward at Christmas.....
I bought a test for my aunt (my late dad's sister). This side of my lineage is Native American. Her DNA test was too allow mitochondrial DNA results and we both hoped to learn more about our Native American heritage. However, her DNA results showed her as being English and Danish. I called the company and they swore there was no way their results were wrong. Well, I know their results are wrong. Anyway, in your case one sperm does not a father make.
The color of the eyes comes from grandparents tho...
Your mother cheated, the test results were correct. You pointed out the obvious genetic dissimilarities yourself. Own it. She banged (at least) two different dudes on/around your father’s birthday, sounds like a real winner. Your father, however, has been nothing but an amazing stand-up dude, and there’s no reason to think he’ll stop that anytime soon.
It didn't say they shared no physical features, just that their eye colour was improbable, given the parent's eye colour, but not impossible. Doesn't say anything else about their appearance. My own parents both have brown eyes, my brother and I have green and blue (which has a very low chance of happening). We both very much look like our parents.
Load More Replies...Being adopted I can tell you that no test, quiz or other testing of family ties can affect familial love. I adored my parents, even when I inadvertently found out I wasn't biologically their child. After the initial shock, I knew I loved them more than ever.
I want to curse so badly to that....... jerk who is insulting other people with their username.
Load More Replies...I wouldn’t trust those test kits, I have heard a few times that the tests have come back with questionable results. Apparently a set of twins were found to be unrelated. Either way, blood doesn’t make him any less of your father,.
My test didn’t show any Spanish ancestry even though it is known that my maternal grandmother was part Spanish. I think they lump all Filipino persons as Asian, even though many are part Spanish, i.e., part Caucasian. I regard 23andMe as just something to do for fun. At least get a real test and a consult with a genealogist before getting dramatic. Or better yet, forget about it and don’t worry your father over a $100 mail order novelty test.
Load More Replies...It was possible that babies were switched by accident in the hospital nursery- I'd bet it wasn't common , but mistakes like this have been known to happen. In any case, who you believe is Dad is still Dad- no matter what biology says
Did you read about the identical twins that were switched in the hospital? Amazing story. They didn't find each other until their 20s. Both sets thought they were fraternal, not identical switched at birth. Jorge, William, Wilber, and Carlos, I think.
Load More Replies...I personally don't trust anything that involves sending my DNA to some giant database somewhere via the internet. Like a lot of people are saying, the kits can sometimes be faulty, so don't fret about 'destroying' your family until you and your dad have been tested by a legit geneticist. If the kits weren't faulty, don't feel like *you* destroyed the family, how were you to know?
Those kits are notorious for being inaccurate, there is a video of twins taking the same dna kit and they have completely different results. I wouldn’t but much stock in them , if you want to know if he’s your biological and I say biological because no matter what he’s still your dad. Go have a paternity test done ,
This also may have been a situation where mom and dad tried their hardest to have a kid but could not, so mom took it into her own hands to make sure it happened. If there was another man, he was nothing more than a sperm donor. This was not so uncommon 30+ years ago. You may want to check with your dad to see if they had difficulty conceiving. That also might explain the results. Dad might also be denying the tests are correct, but knows the biological difference. He may just be ashamed to admit it. The key there is to let him know there is nothing to be ashamed of.
I don’t think I’d trust the test. You know your mom and dad’s relationship. Why not believe your own eyes instead of some mail order test? I know they got mine wrong too, not in the same way, but enough that I wouldn’t get too invested in the test results being correct. Do yourself a favor and forget about it.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...Dear lord, people put way too much importance on this stuff. You had a happy childhood? Then be grateful! There are a lot of people who don't get that privilege.
The test just confirmed the reason for the eye color mismatch. What's the chance of the unlikely event that the kit is wrong and the unlikely event of the eye color miracle?
I was adopted. Did this man raise you in a loving environment? Did he do his best to be a good father? If so, he WAS your Dad. End of story. Forgive your mom, we are all human. But if it is that important get a second genetic test and never trust those kits.
YOU didn't destroy anything...a "family" has endless definitions.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...It is also possible that the dad could be mosaic. Although quite rare, some people carry different genes in their reproductive cells compared to their Gene's everywhere else. This happend to a mother 3 times. She almost had her kids taken away from her.
You find what really counts in the text above: "I went to visit him in person the next day and we talked it over some more and he’s still insistent that something isn’t right, but not to let it cloud my memories of my mom, and that he still sees himself as my dad no matter what. He’s been in my life for 30 years, after all, he can’t just stop now because of this.” He's his/her Dad, no matter what. 30 years, growing up together (this doesn't stop, it slows down and seems to restart once you have own children...), a ton of shared memories - all that counts. I know it's easy to say so from a distant-stranger point of view, but ... you can't ask your Mum anymore and to me it seems like he cares more for who you are, shared history and the family you three were than for ... other possible reasons it came to this result. It also may be some mistake on their side, although unlikely, it's possible - they analyze a sample ... which can be accidentally exchanged or something...
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...He raised you since you came into this world. Be thankful for what you have. I was adopted at birth back in the fifties. Single mother, already had 2 children. I was immediately by two very loving people that I'm proud to have called Mom and Dad. Their gone now and I have grand kids. Their family tree on my side starts with me. And I have met my birth mom. Had a great relationship for a couple of years. Seems like a lifetime ago.
I'm not sure if I'd believe a mail test on this one. If you want to be 100% I'd call the doctor and have them run a DNA test
Mom could have been raped.. it is not something (especially before in those days) women would say out loud...
A retest would advisable in this case. Also babies can be accidentally switched in the hospital even now, or the young man's mother could have been have been raped and never told anyone. There are a Lot of scenarios here that could be the case. But the man that brought him up, that's his real father 💖
If there is any living close relatives from mothers side of the family you could test if you have any match with them. If not then your father is right your mum didn't have affair and you have just changed in the hospital after birth. But I'm not sure witch one would be better.
I've just took a DNA and none of my family are biological relatives to me,including my mother and father who have both recently died
Mendelian genetics may have foisted a recessive gene admixture into your zygote. See if you can find dark brown eyes 3 -5 generations back, on either side. -Dr M (who knows that he is adopted)
They will also, on next you to relatives you didn't know were your relatives! So this may provide a. Lue as to who your father may be! But bottom line, your dad, IS YOUR DAD! He has been there and will be there for you! But to get some genetic history for medical purposes, look up which people hey say you share DNA with. Might make you feel better. Many things could have happened and you may never know just what. But like I said, your dad, will always be your dad. HE loves you!
Many things could have happened here. Test not reliable. Hospital baby swap. Mom had a secret. Etc. I you really want to know, take a reliable test and also test someone on your mom's side to see if you're related to them.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...There's a family in my home town that this happened to also. Their oldest daughter bought an ancestry dna kit. Apparently they had a shotgun wedding because her mother was pregnant with her....... it's still unclear whether or not she knew that he wasn't the father of her unborn child. I'm sure things are a little awkward at Christmas.....
I bought a test for my aunt (my late dad's sister). This side of my lineage is Native American. Her DNA test was too allow mitochondrial DNA results and we both hoped to learn more about our Native American heritage. However, her DNA results showed her as being English and Danish. I called the company and they swore there was no way their results were wrong. Well, I know their results are wrong. Anyway, in your case one sperm does not a father make.
The color of the eyes comes from grandparents tho...
Your mother cheated, the test results were correct. You pointed out the obvious genetic dissimilarities yourself. Own it. She banged (at least) two different dudes on/around your father’s birthday, sounds like a real winner. Your father, however, has been nothing but an amazing stand-up dude, and there’s no reason to think he’ll stop that anytime soon.
It didn't say they shared no physical features, just that their eye colour was improbable, given the parent's eye colour, but not impossible. Doesn't say anything else about their appearance. My own parents both have brown eyes, my brother and I have green and blue (which has a very low chance of happening). We both very much look like our parents.
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