“Weaponizing My Femininity”: 15 Y.O. Girl Gets Called A Jerk For Throwing A Tantrum After Getting Regularly Harassed At School
Remember how The Weeknd sang “Save your tears for another day”? Tears at the right time, on the right day, can indeed be a powerful weapon, especially if you have exhausted other options to deal with a particular serious problem.
The heroine of our new story was accused of “weaponizing her femininity” – on the other hand, she had to face aggressive adherents of “traditional values,” and in this situation we can well say that “similar beats similar,” as the ancient sages used to say.
A post about this situation on the AITA Reddit community got over 24.6K upvotes and almost 2.5K different comments, with the commenters’ verdict being almost unanimous – guess what it was as you read this story.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster is a 15 Y.O. who lives in South America and goes to school
Image source: Images Alight (not the actual photo)
So, the Original Poster is a 15-year-old girl living in one of the countries of South America. About ten years ago, she lost her mother and her dad raised her alone, until about a year ago, when he fell in love with another man, whom the OP also began to call papa. And since then they have lived as one family – two dads, a girl and their dog.
Image source: itsokdad
The OP’s parents are gay and all her friends took it great, except one student
The OP told her school friends about her two dads, and they were just happy for her. But one of the students at the school – let’s call him “Duncan,” on the contrary, began to bully the girl, having learned about her family. The OP decided to seek help from the teacher, “Mr. Smith,” but he sided with “Duncan,” claiming that “the boy is just trying to understand.”
Image source: itsokdad
The OP asked her teacher for help, but he backed the offender
However, the boy’s “understanding” gradually went too far – he even began to pretend to sympathize with the OP, claiming that both of her dads “would definitely burn in hell.” And “Mr. Smith” again tried to hush up the situation – he said that no one can be judged because of his religion.
Image source: itsokdad
The problem was also that in the country where the OP lives, each class has only one teacher, so she simply had no one else to turn to. After about two months of “Duncan’s” bullying, the girl came up with a plan for how to deal with this extremely unpleasant situation.
Image source: itsokdad
Being told the same homophobic speech again, the OP started to cry deliberately just to draw attention to her
So, when “Duncan” started up his homophobic speech again in the school cafeteria, she just tried to remember the most tragic and heartbreaking scenes from movies and cartoons. The death of Mufasa, sad melodramas, The Fox and the Hound… tears did not take long to appear, and soon they literally poured like a river.
Image source: itsokdad
The situation ended up in the school principal’s office and “Duncan” finally got his sentence
The girl sobbed, “Duncan” tried to figure out what was going on, and it ended up in the principal’s office, to whom the OP told the whole story, despite the fact that both the teacher and “Duncan” tried to interrupt her. As a result, “Duncan” received a five-day sentence, and the principal told the OP to come directly to her office in case of any repetition of the situation by the offenders.
Image source: itsokdad
“Duncan’s” friends started texting the OP saying that she acted just like Amber Heard
By the way, “Mr. Smith” later tried to shame the OP by claiming that she ruined a good boy’s life, and even wanted the girl to apologize to “Duncan.” She, of course, refused, after which “Duncan’s” friends began to text her, telling her that she behaved like Amber Heard.
Image source: Fabrice Florin (not the actual photo)
People in the comments supported the OP massively and advised her to go back to the principal
The girl admitted that she did not tell her dads about this situation, so as not to disturb and upset them, but the commenters, of course, supported her. Of course, the OP was advised to go back to the principal and report on the messages and the teacher’s demands, as “Mr. Smith” was rightly considered an accomplice in the bullying.
As for “Duncan”, he is, of course, wrong, and as some people in comments have written, perhaps for the first time in his entire life he is realizing that all actions may have very unpleasant consequences. “Duncan” is certainly not a “good boy” and he fully deserved the punishment he was given.
We also wonder what you think about this situation. Perhaps the OP should still tell her parents, or transfer to another school? So feel free to write your comments, or share your own story if you’ve experienced something similar.
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Share on FacebookTelling someone to "understand" a bigot is condoning bad behaviour: "The bigot doesn't have to change their behaviour, but *you* have to be nice to them."
To be fair, sometimes being nice is the best way to change someone's mind. The very first time? Sure. Be nice, and tell him why that question is unacceptable. The 10th time? No, Duncan has proven he has no intention of widening his worldview or changing his behaviour. At that point, "understanding" him is only harmful to everyone.
Load More Replies...The bully who's a student and the bully who's a teacher both need to be removed from the school.
Load More Replies...Bible thumpers. The book teaches about love and yet its followers use it to justify their hateful actions. You did right girl giving him his own doze of medicine. And that Mr. Smith does not belong to the academe. He needs to go back to school and learn about respecting human rights.
I hope all pandas know this is NTA. Also this isn't a gender thing. I can think of Marley and Me and bawl like a baby.
I would cry. I would ugly-cry until my mustache needs a deep rinse. I'd cry because I'd be hurt, there's no recourse besides expressing that to everyone. If I'm being honest, I've thought about crying when dealing with difficult people at work. As Tina Fey wrote, “Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry.' I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
You defended yourself from a bully and got compared to a domestic abuser??? That school is a trainwreck lmao
I have never understood the militant animosity shown toward homosexuals by people who claim to be Christians. No where in any of the gospels did Jesus say "love everyone, except the gays. They're going to hell" nor did he advocate for violence against anyone. All that aside, if you feel they are dammed why dorms so much time worrying about them and hating them. Their life style literally has zero impact on your life. And Jesus did say something along the lines of who can add time to their life by worrying. Not a scholar here but I have read the Bible and my takeaway is that people behaving like this are decidedly unchristian. Remember WWJD? whether he agreed with homosexuals or not he would still love them.
NTA. But be careful - just a little twisting and rearranging when the story is told really makes you the bad one, especially if that's the goal anyway. And, sorry, but YOU have to be understanding? No. Duncan has to. But, things often aren't seen for what they are, especially when religion is involved, prejudice and judgemental entitlement are rampant. Be careful.
It's amazing how many vile people will say vile things to defend vile abuse of someone for having two dads.
Also, saying she was weaponising her femininity is tantamount to saying only girls cry.
Lol he can weaponize that toilet he calls his mouth and you cannot weaponize your f***y and tits? That isn't very fair now is it? Tell Mr Smith I said that.
So after being belittled, harassed and followed, it's supposed to be the girls fault for standing up and making an example out of sir dickwad? NTA, clearly Duncan and the teacher are. Bout time the bullies got comeuppance.
Bro what the hell does “weaponizing femininity” even mean? NTA for sure. Girl needs to talk to her parents and maybe the school board. Homophobia should be adequately punished.
The teacher and the bullies need to be put on probation for further education or remove them completely. While I don't condone violence, I wish we were still in the 90s (and I grew up in Asia where it's just as bad as South America) where we can just fight back by beating up the bullies! I (F) bullied by two boys when I was 12, punched them in the face, then we became good friends since.
You have shown yourself to be as bad as the teacher and pupil in this situation. Stop with your rudeness and consider finding some empathy! She is the opposite of mentally weak as she didn't react badly the first time instead only took action after it escalated and the teacher refused to do his job and step in to stop the bullying.
Load More Replies...Telling someone to "understand" a bigot is condoning bad behaviour: "The bigot doesn't have to change their behaviour, but *you* have to be nice to them."
To be fair, sometimes being nice is the best way to change someone's mind. The very first time? Sure. Be nice, and tell him why that question is unacceptable. The 10th time? No, Duncan has proven he has no intention of widening his worldview or changing his behaviour. At that point, "understanding" him is only harmful to everyone.
Load More Replies...The bully who's a student and the bully who's a teacher both need to be removed from the school.
Load More Replies...Bible thumpers. The book teaches about love and yet its followers use it to justify their hateful actions. You did right girl giving him his own doze of medicine. And that Mr. Smith does not belong to the academe. He needs to go back to school and learn about respecting human rights.
I hope all pandas know this is NTA. Also this isn't a gender thing. I can think of Marley and Me and bawl like a baby.
I would cry. I would ugly-cry until my mustache needs a deep rinse. I'd cry because I'd be hurt, there's no recourse besides expressing that to everyone. If I'm being honest, I've thought about crying when dealing with difficult people at work. As Tina Fey wrote, “Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry.' I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
You defended yourself from a bully and got compared to a domestic abuser??? That school is a trainwreck lmao
I have never understood the militant animosity shown toward homosexuals by people who claim to be Christians. No where in any of the gospels did Jesus say "love everyone, except the gays. They're going to hell" nor did he advocate for violence against anyone. All that aside, if you feel they are dammed why dorms so much time worrying about them and hating them. Their life style literally has zero impact on your life. And Jesus did say something along the lines of who can add time to their life by worrying. Not a scholar here but I have read the Bible and my takeaway is that people behaving like this are decidedly unchristian. Remember WWJD? whether he agreed with homosexuals or not he would still love them.
NTA. But be careful - just a little twisting and rearranging when the story is told really makes you the bad one, especially if that's the goal anyway. And, sorry, but YOU have to be understanding? No. Duncan has to. But, things often aren't seen for what they are, especially when religion is involved, prejudice and judgemental entitlement are rampant. Be careful.
It's amazing how many vile people will say vile things to defend vile abuse of someone for having two dads.
Also, saying she was weaponising her femininity is tantamount to saying only girls cry.
Lol he can weaponize that toilet he calls his mouth and you cannot weaponize your f***y and tits? That isn't very fair now is it? Tell Mr Smith I said that.
So after being belittled, harassed and followed, it's supposed to be the girls fault for standing up and making an example out of sir dickwad? NTA, clearly Duncan and the teacher are. Bout time the bullies got comeuppance.
Bro what the hell does “weaponizing femininity” even mean? NTA for sure. Girl needs to talk to her parents and maybe the school board. Homophobia should be adequately punished.
The teacher and the bullies need to be put on probation for further education or remove them completely. While I don't condone violence, I wish we were still in the 90s (and I grew up in Asia where it's just as bad as South America) where we can just fight back by beating up the bullies! I (F) bullied by two boys when I was 12, punched them in the face, then we became good friends since.
You have shown yourself to be as bad as the teacher and pupil in this situation. Stop with your rudeness and consider finding some empathy! She is the opposite of mentally weak as she didn't react badly the first time instead only took action after it escalated and the teacher refused to do his job and step in to stop the bullying.
Load More Replies...
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