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“Weaponizing My Femininity”: 15 Y.O. Girl Gets Called A Jerk For Throwing A Tantrum After Getting Regularly Harassed At School
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“Weaponizing My Femininity”: 15 Y.O. Girl Gets Called A Jerk For Throwing A Tantrum After Getting Regularly Harassed At School

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Remember how The Weeknd sang “Save your tears for another day”? Tears at the right time, on the right day, can indeed be a powerful weapon, especially if you have exhausted other options to deal with a particular serious problem.

The heroine of our new story was accused of “weaponizing her femininity” – on the other hand, she had to face aggressive adherents of “traditional values,” and in this situation we can well say that “similar beats similar,” as the ancient sages used to say.

A post about this situation on the AITA Reddit community got over 24.6K upvotes and almost 2.5K different comments, with the commenters’ verdict being almost unanimous – guess what it was as you read this story.

More info: Reddit

The Original Poster is a 15 Y.O. who lives in South America and goes to school

Image source: Images Alight (not the actual photo)

So, the Original Poster is a 15-year-old girl living in one of the countries of South America. About ten years ago, she lost her mother and her dad raised her alone, until about a year ago, when he fell in love with another man, whom the OP also began to call papa. And since then they have lived as one family – two dads, a girl and their dog.

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Image source: itsokdad

The OP’s parents are gay and all her friends took it great, except one student

The OP told her school friends about her two dads, and they were just happy for her. But one of the students at the school – let’s call him “Duncan,” on the contrary, began to bully the girl, having learned about her family. The OP decided to seek help from the teacher, “Mr. Smith,” but he sided with “Duncan,” claiming that “the boy is just trying to understand.”

Image source: itsokdad

The OP asked her teacher for help, but he backed the offender

However, the boy’s “understanding” gradually went too far – he even began to pretend to sympathize with the OP, claiming that both of her dads “would definitely burn in hell.” And “Mr. Smith” again tried to hush up the situation – he said that no one can be judged because of his religion.

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Image source: itsokdad

The problem was also that in the country where the OP lives, each class has only one teacher, so she simply had no one else to turn to. After about two months of “Duncan’s” bullying, the girl came up with a plan for how to deal with this extremely unpleasant situation.

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Image source: itsokdad

Being told the same homophobic speech again, the OP started to cry deliberately just to draw attention to her

So, when “Duncan” started up his homophobic speech again in the school cafeteria, she just tried to remember the most tragic and heartbreaking scenes from movies and cartoons. The death of Mufasa, sad melodramas, The Fox and the Hound… tears did not take long to appear, and soon they literally poured like a river.

Image source: itsokdad

The situation ended up in the school principal’s office and “Duncan” finally got his sentence

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The girl sobbed, “Duncan” tried to figure out what was going on, and it ended up in the principal’s office, to whom the OP told the whole story, despite the fact that both the teacher and “Duncan” tried to interrupt her. As a result, “Duncan” received a five-day sentence, and the principal told the OP to come directly to her office in case of any repetition of the situation by the offenders.

Image source: itsokdad

“Duncan’s” friends started texting the OP saying that she acted just like Amber Heard

By the way, “Mr. Smith” later tried to shame the OP by claiming that she ruined a good boy’s life, and even wanted the girl to apologize to “Duncan.” She, of course, refused, after which “Duncan’s” friends began to text her, telling her that she behaved like Amber Heard.

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Image source: Fabrice Florin (not the actual photo)

People in the comments supported the OP massively and advised her to go back to the principal

The girl admitted that she did not tell her dads about this situation, so as not to disturb and upset them, but the commenters, of course, supported her. Of course, the OP was advised to go back to the principal and report on the messages and the teacher’s demands, as “Mr. Smith” was rightly considered an accomplice in the bullying.

 

As for “Duncan”, he is, of course, wrong, and as some people in comments have written, perhaps for the first time in his entire life he is realizing that all actions may have very unpleasant consequences. “Duncan” is certainly not a “good boy” and he fully deserved the punishment he was given.

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We also wonder what you think about this situation. Perhaps the OP should still tell her parents, or transfer to another school? So feel free to write your comments, or share your own story if you’ve experienced something similar.

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viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Telling someone to "understand" a bigot is condoning bad behaviour: "The bigot doesn't have to change their behaviour, but *you* have to be nice to them."

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, sometimes being nice is the best way to change someone's mind. The very first time? Sure. Be nice, and tell him why that question is unacceptable. The 10th time? No, Duncan has proven he has no intention of widening his worldview or changing his behaviour. At that point, "understanding" him is only harmful to everyone.

Load More Replies...
leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The teacher and the bully both need to be removed from the school.

breakmyheart avatar
Something
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bully who's a student and the bully who's a teacher both need to be removed from the school.

Load More Replies...
cheryll_veloria avatar
May light defeat the darkness
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bible thumpers. The book teaches about love and yet its followers use it to justify their hateful actions. You did right girl giving him his own doze of medicine. And that Mr. Smith does not belong to the academe. He needs to go back to school and learn about respecting human rights.

troux avatar
Troux
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mr Smith: "If you want people to understand you have to be patient."....Principal: "Agreed, let's give him 5 days to figure it out."

iloveskamp avatar
Kitty 🇺🇦
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s a whole update to the story, if you click on the link to it. (Wow, jump the gun a little, BP?)

berdarien avatar
Berdarien Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope all pandas know this is NTA. Also this isn't a gender thing. I can think of Marley and Me and bawl like a baby.

sleepyhead_1 avatar
Ghostsauce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would cry. I would ugly-cry until my mustache needs a deep rinse. I'd cry because I'd be hurt, there's no recourse besides expressing that to everyone. If I'm being honest, I've thought about crying when dealing with difficult people at work. As Tina Fey wrote, “Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry.' I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”

bluepearl avatar
Blue Pearl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You defended yourself from a bully and got compared to a domestic abuser??? That school is a trainwreck lmao

bobbygoodson avatar
Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never understood the militant animosity shown toward homosexuals by people who claim to be Christians. No where in any of the gospels did Jesus say "love everyone, except the gays. They're going to hell" nor did he advocate for violence against anyone. All that aside, if you feel they are dammed why dorms so much time worrying about them and hating them. Their life style literally has zero impact on your life. And Jesus did say something along the lines of who can add time to their life by worrying. Not a scholar here but I have read the Bible and my takeaway is that people behaving like this are decidedly unchristian. Remember WWJD? whether he agreed with homosexuals or not he would still love them.

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. But be careful - just a little twisting and rearranging when the story is told really makes you the bad one, especially if that's the goal anyway. And, sorry, but YOU have to be understanding? No. Duncan has to. But, things often aren't seen for what they are, especially when religion is involved, prejudice and judgemental entitlement are rampant. Be careful.

adamdjthompson avatar
Adam Thompson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's amazing how many vile people will say vile things to defend vile abuse of someone for having two dads.

lizzielola avatar
Lizzie Lola
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only WISH I had the courage this young woman has at her age!

fmc avatar
Niall Mac Iomera
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, saying she was weaponising her femininity is tantamount to saying only girls cry.

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol he can weaponize that toilet he calls his mouth and you cannot weaponize your f***y and tits? That isn't very fair now is it? Tell Mr Smith I said that.

missidontgetit avatar
Littlemiss
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So after being belittled, harassed and followed, it's supposed to be the girls fault for standing up and making an example out of sir dickwad? NTA, clearly Duncan and the teacher are. Bout time the bullies got comeuppance.

shrimpyninni avatar
AsexualShrimp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro what the hell does “weaponizing femininity” even mean? NTA for sure. Girl needs to talk to her parents and maybe the school board. Homophobia should be adequately punished.

canadianpanda avatar
CanadianPanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The teacher and the bullies need to be put on probation for further education or remove them completely. While I don't condone violence, I wish we were still in the 90s (and I grew up in Asia where it's just as bad as South America) where we can just fight back by beating up the bullies! I (F) bullied by two boys when I was 12, punched them in the face, then we became good friends since.

jppurves avatar
JP Purves
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Interesting story. I'm just curious as to why, if this is in South America, all the people have anglo names.

aveetc avatar
[error]
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This girl is trouble, a drama queen, and mentally weak. There’s a right way and a wrong way, and she handled this the wrong way. Everyone is the AHOLE in this story. Sucks she got bullied, but we all now that teenagers are way too sensitive, and she clearly demonstrated it. Get over it…

skatey1979 avatar
Celeste Grant
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have shown yourself to be as bad as the teacher and pupil in this situation. Stop with your rudeness and consider finding some empathy! She is the opposite of mentally weak as she didn't react badly the first time instead only took action after it escalated and the teacher refused to do his job and step in to stop the bullying.

Load More Replies...
viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Telling someone to "understand" a bigot is condoning bad behaviour: "The bigot doesn't have to change their behaviour, but *you* have to be nice to them."

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, sometimes being nice is the best way to change someone's mind. The very first time? Sure. Be nice, and tell him why that question is unacceptable. The 10th time? No, Duncan has proven he has no intention of widening his worldview or changing his behaviour. At that point, "understanding" him is only harmful to everyone.

Load More Replies...
leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The teacher and the bully both need to be removed from the school.

breakmyheart avatar
Something
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bully who's a student and the bully who's a teacher both need to be removed from the school.

Load More Replies...
cheryll_veloria avatar
May light defeat the darkness
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bible thumpers. The book teaches about love and yet its followers use it to justify their hateful actions. You did right girl giving him his own doze of medicine. And that Mr. Smith does not belong to the academe. He needs to go back to school and learn about respecting human rights.

troux avatar
Troux
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mr Smith: "If you want people to understand you have to be patient."....Principal: "Agreed, let's give him 5 days to figure it out."

iloveskamp avatar
Kitty 🇺🇦
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s a whole update to the story, if you click on the link to it. (Wow, jump the gun a little, BP?)

berdarien avatar
Berdarien Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope all pandas know this is NTA. Also this isn't a gender thing. I can think of Marley and Me and bawl like a baby.

sleepyhead_1 avatar
Ghostsauce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would cry. I would ugly-cry until my mustache needs a deep rinse. I'd cry because I'd be hurt, there's no recourse besides expressing that to everyone. If I'm being honest, I've thought about crying when dealing with difficult people at work. As Tina Fey wrote, “Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry.' I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”

bluepearl avatar
Blue Pearl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You defended yourself from a bully and got compared to a domestic abuser??? That school is a trainwreck lmao

bobbygoodson avatar
Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never understood the militant animosity shown toward homosexuals by people who claim to be Christians. No where in any of the gospels did Jesus say "love everyone, except the gays. They're going to hell" nor did he advocate for violence against anyone. All that aside, if you feel they are dammed why dorms so much time worrying about them and hating them. Their life style literally has zero impact on your life. And Jesus did say something along the lines of who can add time to their life by worrying. Not a scholar here but I have read the Bible and my takeaway is that people behaving like this are decidedly unchristian. Remember WWJD? whether he agreed with homosexuals or not he would still love them.

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. But be careful - just a little twisting and rearranging when the story is told really makes you the bad one, especially if that's the goal anyway. And, sorry, but YOU have to be understanding? No. Duncan has to. But, things often aren't seen for what they are, especially when religion is involved, prejudice and judgemental entitlement are rampant. Be careful.

adamdjthompson avatar
Adam Thompson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's amazing how many vile people will say vile things to defend vile abuse of someone for having two dads.

lizzielola avatar
Lizzie Lola
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only WISH I had the courage this young woman has at her age!

fmc avatar
Niall Mac Iomera
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, saying she was weaponising her femininity is tantamount to saying only girls cry.

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol he can weaponize that toilet he calls his mouth and you cannot weaponize your f***y and tits? That isn't very fair now is it? Tell Mr Smith I said that.

missidontgetit avatar
Littlemiss
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So after being belittled, harassed and followed, it's supposed to be the girls fault for standing up and making an example out of sir dickwad? NTA, clearly Duncan and the teacher are. Bout time the bullies got comeuppance.

shrimpyninni avatar
AsexualShrimp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro what the hell does “weaponizing femininity” even mean? NTA for sure. Girl needs to talk to her parents and maybe the school board. Homophobia should be adequately punished.

canadianpanda avatar
CanadianPanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The teacher and the bullies need to be put on probation for further education or remove them completely. While I don't condone violence, I wish we were still in the 90s (and I grew up in Asia where it's just as bad as South America) where we can just fight back by beating up the bullies! I (F) bullied by two boys when I was 12, punched them in the face, then we became good friends since.

jppurves avatar
JP Purves
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Interesting story. I'm just curious as to why, if this is in South America, all the people have anglo names.

aveetc avatar
[error]
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This girl is trouble, a drama queen, and mentally weak. There’s a right way and a wrong way, and she handled this the wrong way. Everyone is the AHOLE in this story. Sucks she got bullied, but we all now that teenagers are way too sensitive, and she clearly demonstrated it. Get over it…

skatey1979 avatar
Celeste Grant
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have shown yourself to be as bad as the teacher and pupil in this situation. Stop with your rudeness and consider finding some empathy! She is the opposite of mentally weak as she didn't react badly the first time instead only took action after it escalated and the teacher refused to do his job and step in to stop the bullying.

Load More Replies...
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