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Woman Makes Her Sister-In-Law Cry When She Tells Her “I Told You So” After Her Nephew Ruins Her Wedding As She Predicted
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Woman Makes Her Sister-In-Law Cry When She Tells Her “I Told You So” After Her Nephew Ruins Her Wedding As She Predicted

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Containing the urge to say “I told you so” when you warned someone about a situation or you found out that your facts were the correct ones is very hard. Especially if you don’t like the person or if they were really convinced you were wrong.

This woman who was a guest at her brother’s wedding couldn’t keep her tongue behind her teeth and blurted the phrase out to the bride, who got really upset, and it caused a bit of a stir in her family. She was right about the situation and its outcome, but people in the comments discuss whether she was right to announce it to her sister-in-law who was already irritated.

More info: Reddit

Woman warns her SIL about her nephew, but she doesn’t listen, only to regret it later, and the OP celebrates her victory with the sweet “I told you so”

Image source: porsche_chen2009 (not the actual photo)

The Original Poster (OP) is a 27-year-old woman whose brother recently got married. She has known his now-wife for 3 years, but it seems that she is not very impressed by her character.

According to the Redditor, her SIL is very demanding and controlling, and on top of that, she likes to be always right. Her family is no better as they like to think they are better than everyone else. The woman has also noticed that they expect everything done for them without offering to help others.

The OP was helping her SIL to write invitations to her and her brother’s wedding

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Image credits: SILISMADATME32

Because that family thinks that they can do no wrong, they don’t punish their children. But they don’t discipline them or explain to them that their actions are wrong, either, so it’s not like they are following gentle parenting.

That has led to SIL’s nephew growing up always getting his way, and if he doesn’t, he will throw a tantrum. He is used to being the center of attention, so such a moody child is not fun to be around.

The OP found out that her SIL was planning to invite the child to her wedding when she was helping her with the invitations. The woman told the future bride about her concerns of the boy throwing a fit during the ceremony or reception, but that offended her.

Bored Panda reached out to the Redditor and she revealed that her SIL definitely knew how moody her nephew can get, “her nephew and her have been around for a long time and she’s seen all the massacres at the birthdays.” Also, the OP’s brother wasn’t fond of the idea of having the boy at the wedding either, “He didn’t want him to attend the wedding in the first place and when he threw a tantrum my brother was over it.”

She noticed that her SIL’s nephew was on the list, which was a concern, as he was a spoiled kid who threw tantrums if something didn’t go his way

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Image credits: SILISMADATME32

On top of that the SIL didn’t keep it to herself either and told her sister, the boy’s mom, about what she was saying behind his back. The mom was convinced nothing bad would happen and her son had to come to his aunt’s wedding.

The moment of truth came on the wedding day. As everyone was having fun, the nephew wasn’t, so he threw such a fit that the pastor couldn’t continue with the ceremony and needed to wait until the parents left.

For some reason, they came back to the afterparty and the kid caused a scene again by screaming at the top of his lungs and pushing his aunt. The bride had a glass of wine in her hand and spilt it on herself, which made her so upset she started crying.

The woman warned the bride that her wedding day might get ruined, but the SIL got offended by her words

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Image credits: SILISMADATME32

The OP couldn’t resist telling her that she’d warned her that something similar may happen. Researchers at Leiden University actually studied this phenomenon of the urge and satisfaction of telling someone “I told you so.”

They found that even if a person is right about a negative thing, like in the OP’s case of a child causing havoc at a wedding, the person still feels a rewarding effect in their brain. The results showed that “reward-related neural mechanisms are involved when someone is proved right, even in situations that end in monetary loss.”

On the wedding day, OP’s prediction came true and she couldn’t resist letting her SIL know she was right

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Image credits: SILISMADATME32

It happens unconsciously, but when your brain knows that it will be rewarded, it just needs to tell the person who didn’t believe you that you were right. However, it isn’t productive and many people may think it is immature.

According to the Foundation For Economic Education, you just look pathetic when you do that and it makes the trust between you and the other person weaker. Also, stating that you were right doesn’t solve any problems and makes you seem concerned about making yourself look good.

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They suggest that allowing the person to learn their lesson on their own is more helpful and they will be more likely to trust your opinion in the future.

It upset the bride even more and OP’s mom thought it was immature, so the woman wonders if she needs to apologize

Image credits: SILISMADATME32

After the OP got the satisfaction of pointing out her prediction was true, she came home to a request to apologize to the bride. That is when she asked the internet if she should have stayed silent about it as the bride was already in tears and her comment was unnecessary.

Many people thought that the OP shouldn’t have said anything because it was her SIL’s wedding day and it was already ruined, although they agreed that the bride shouldn’t have gotten mad at her for trying to save the celebration from drama. However, others loved the pettiness and admitted that they would have done the same and it wasn’t her who ruined the wedding.

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Image credits: SILISMADATME32

Image source: WineCountry Media (not the actual photo)

In the end, the OP posted an update which could be called a happy ending. The woman saw her SIL’s sister, the boy’s mom, pouring dirt on the newlywed on Facebook. According to her, the aunt knew how her nephew was, so a tantrum was to be expected, and if she wasn’t able to handle it, she shouldn’t have invited the boy. The OP believed that if her SIL would have done it, ” it may have caused drama in her family but she would be able to live with it.”

The OP felt bad for her SIL that her family turned their backs on her, so she went to apologize with a bottle of wine and it seems that the two women made peace with each other. The woman told us that she thinks her SIL “genuinely knows that [she’s] sorry and realizes that she was wrong to invite him.”

Do you think you would have managed to control yourself and bite your tongue? What was your reaction to the story before you learnt about the update? Let us know in the comments!

Redditors realized how valuable OP’s advice, was but were conflicted whether she should have mentioned it to the bride on her wedding day which was already ruined

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Jurgita Dominauskaitė

Jurgita Dominauskaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed.

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Jurgita Dominauskaitė

Jurgita Dominauskaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed.

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė Tolstych

Author, Community member

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Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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Saulė Tolstych

Saulė Tolstych

Author, Community member

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Hey pandas, what do you think?
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faithhurst-bilinski avatar
candicegcook avatar
Candice Cook
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is so much too old that I'd be shamed for life if my child acted like that in public. If I knew my kid acted like that and that I wasn't going to do anything about it, I would NEVER accept an invitation ANYWHERE!

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blouise002 avatar
MsLou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SIL's family sounds absolutely insane. They take zero responsibility! First they blame the OP for warning the SIL, and now they blame the SIL for inviting the nephew?? He's 9 years old and throwing a temper tantrum. No OP should not have said that, but this story was wild. I just can't stand it when entitled people take zero responsibility.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the SIL/bride was sensible and smart, she wouldn't have told her family that OP warned her. Just make it an adults only wedding and reception and when asked about it by her sister don't explain why just say there are no exceptions to the rule.

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princesssuhaniprasad avatar
asexualotl (she/her)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i think nta dont downvote me. yes you may need to hold your tongue on one's wedding day but after they didn't listen to you and are that entitled, anytime is a good time to put them in their place.

tiffanywilson avatar
Tiffany Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What got me on this one was someone suggesting that the nephew should have been allowed to help cut the cake. IT WASN'T HIS WEDDING CAKE.

imbriuminarian avatar
Bunzilla
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd go with ESH. The SIL's sister should have listened, since, honestly, hasn't she seen how her bratty nephew behaves at every other function? And the SIL saying the bride should have offered to let the kid cut her wedding cake with her?! That's a whole new level of entitlement right there. Agreed, OP shouldn't have said, "I told you so". The SILs sister never should have told her family about that warning, which then caused everybody to harass the OP. At least OP genuinely apologized. Sucks that the poor sister had her wedding spoiled by her sister's brat.

imbriuminarian avatar
Bunzilla
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH = Everybody sucks here. And PS, I don't call a kid a brat lightly. But this kid's family certainly turned him into one!

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seonagudell avatar
Seonag Udell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a terrible habit for saying to people " I'm not going to say I told you so, but I kinda did".

blackdog8911 avatar
Della
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta but that being said, you probably could have made the same point with a "look".

blazefitzwater221 avatar
Blaze Fitzwater
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is how I would've reacted. Agree, NTA but the "look" for sure would've been given. Favorite comment!

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weakknees avatar
Weak Knees
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A nine year old always throwing these types of tantrums? This kid needs diagnosing STAT. Although the OP was petty, she did apologize. What galls me is the mom blaming the bride for not letting the kid cut the wedding cake (are you kidding me?) and not taking the situation in hand with her own child.

shaunlee avatar
SheamusFan1987
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure I get the whole scenario but personally, I'd say ESH but Nephew is the ultimate Suck-bucket. OP didn't need to kick SIL down on that day itself but maybe a few days later or so but all-in-all, SIL did bring it all upon herself by bringing Suck-bucket Nephew along for the ride and practically smearing OP's name in front of the family was a c**p-a*s move too. But I gather we can all agree that Suck-bucket Nephew here needs a collective spanking from the Pandaverse for being that much of a piece of work.

alisa-fender avatar
Honu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for the nephew. He is the product of his family's upbringing. He's likely going to grow up to be insufferable, possibly unemployable and imprisoned, if there isn't some kind of intervention right quick. So I do definitely agree with you that a "collective spanking" is called for. For his own good. The family is socially crippling that child. I wouldn't be surprised if he's miserable at school because no one likes him, and he doesn't know how to fix it because his parents have never taught him empathy or kindness, how to be a good friend or how to just not p**s people off and have them hate you.

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madmcqueen avatar
Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why no kids under 13 should go to weddings unless there is a designated area for them to be babysat with someone. They don't understand etiquette or social gatherings adults have. School functions are diffent than $40k (or so) plus events. Sil did good but the bride should have taken the warning.

binawei avatar
Bina Wei
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe no kids under 11 or 12. I went to a wedding when I was 12, almost 13, and behaved fine. It also depends on the kid as well. And depends on the couple.

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mkbriz56 avatar
Mary Brizendine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"should have invited him to cut the cake"? Seriously? Was it his wedding? They may have not thought he was that bad before, but now they know. Doubt he'll be invited anywhere again.

ortaduchess avatar
Stephanie Did It
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did OP quote the kid's mom on Facebook saying if she hadn't WANTED the kid to throw a tantrum, she wouldn't have brought him? In essence saying she wanted, no, PLANNED for his outbursts? Mind boggling. Or did I misunderstand?

sophiajarrettbridge avatar
Sophia Jarrett Bridge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You misunderstood. The brides sister (bratty child's mom) said on FB that if she the bride did not want the drama she should not have invited him..I'm sure though that if the bride did not invite him(them) they would have been upset. Considering, when OP suggested in the first place that the bride not invite him, it caused an upset.

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hopetirendi avatar
Hope Tirendi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe SIL will see her family for the toxic losers that they are and will become a better person herself. For the Brothers sake I certainly hope so!

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean... she did tell her lol I don't feel sorry for anyone involved. Bride should have known better and SIL's family need professional psychiatric help, especially the nephew who they've managed to royally f**k up. He will be an entitled brat forever and it's their fault. Bride got an apology and forgave her so OP isn't an a*****e in my eyes. Don't expect people to feel sorry for you when they told you what was going to happen and it happens.

twerk4jesus avatar
Twerk4Jesus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it necessary to repeat the same paragraph three times in a row?

pohtilaa avatar
Peikko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was rude to say that at that moment but you apologized and offered to get the dress cleaned so I wouldn't say you're an a*****e. But the SIL:s family definitely is.

binawei avatar
Bina Wei
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say she is as the update came after the post. But I think ESH (Everyone Su.cks Here) fits better

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cpwood avatar
CP Wood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a the moment, yes, OP was an AH, but she redeemed herself by apologies w/ wine, and now maybe they can be closer and become actual friends. The SIL's family is clearly like a junior high clique, and they have created a monster in the child. My granddaughter turns 9 soon, and she wouldn't have behaved that way at 4 yo! They are truly creating a monster, to unleash on the rest of the world to deal with later, and at some point, he will be dealt with; they still won't understand how it happened, or find him, or themselves, at fault. " should have let him cut the cake!" says it all!

mpwhite75 avatar
Micheal White
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The last thing you need from me is a smug I told you so, and smug it would be, because tell you I most certainly did" Mallory Archer

gabrielgawrada avatar
Gabriel Gawrada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That so many "loved the pettiness" of your remark is sad. Your sil's wedding was already ruined; there was no need to pour salt in the wound. Glad that you and she moved past it and are on good terms.

adelinebennett avatar
Adeline Bennett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA. Trying to couch it in irrelevant details doesn't change that lol. It's not always about being right. Sometimes you have to know when to think it but not SAY it.

kalessinsdaughter avatar
KalessinsDaughter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't help wondering if SIL's nephew is neurodivergent. His behaviour sounds extreme for a child his age, but if he *is* neurodivergent, punishment or "disciplining" don't work, and people who want to include him and his parents have to be willing to make accommodations, otherwise they're setting the kid up to fail. In that case, OP's behavior throughout is a nightmare for people around the child, including SIL. But even if the kid isn't neurodivergent, it's *unbelievably* rude and selfish to go "told you so" at SIL *at her wedding*, when she's already upset. Which makes me wonder if OP's judgement in calling SIL and her family rude and selfish can be trusted. Either way, it's clearly YTA on OP.

nunyabiz avatar
LolaBrio
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the more reason to have a childfree wedding. No exceptions!

colleenscurato avatar
Colleen Curato
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't of said a thing.. I would have rolled my eyes..removed myself from the situation and leave the bride and her family to deal with it..😅😅😜🤣🤣

melissa12080 avatar
Mbfsc63
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would anyone marry into a family like this????? They will always be selfish, ignorant people.

johnanderson avatar
John Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everybody in this story acted like an a**h*** at some point. SIL was AH for throwing OP under the bus. OP was the AH to say that at wedding. Nephew and mom are penultimate AH's along with the family in denial. If I was SIL's new husband, I'd be thinking long and hard about the family I just married into. Or scared

alyssiatoh2 avatar
Alyssia Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Issa YTA from me. Saying "I told you so" literally *during* a chaotic situation is rarely the right time. The other parts of the story are irrelevant

beth_landers avatar
Beth L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do this many 12-year-olds have things like weddings and children? No one in the whole extended family seems to be an actual functioning adult. "the family all agreed to call her selfish" - what even is that? Junior high mean girls stuff...

deborahharris avatar
Deborah Harris
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

joshuashamblin avatar
Joshua Shamblin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I deserved and needed every a*s whoopin I received as a child. Probably why I'm not dead or in prison...

rayteekygrusome avatar
Skorm Carter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ehhhh you were right. I honestly couldn't love the fact more that you put her in her place. OOOOWEEEE!!

markschnabel avatar
Mark Schnabel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The great James McMurtry sang it best, "Strap them kids in, give 'em a little bit of Benedryl, in their cherry colas..."

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP is an a-hole for saying that at that time. Nine years old is too old to be having screaming tantrums to the point that you are disrupting special occasions. The mother of the kid needs to get him under control and stop making excuses for him. The bride should not have invited him. I would have gotten a spanking if I had acted like that at someone's wedding or anything else. They need to get him tested to see if he is on the spectrum.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those people would never be invited to any gathering of mine until they either get the kid a rabies shot, muzzle him, or not be surprised when I heated his a*s until he couldn't sit.

silviaalmeida avatar
Silvia Almeida
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Couldn’t finish reading this long, boring and terribly written article!!! Awful!!!

nadineg_1 avatar
SCP-3998
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As mentioned in one of the comments; OP is 100% the Åsshole here, however, that is EXACTLY what was needed here. She did exactly what most of us would only wish we woulda done.

koolmudkips avatar
kool mudkips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would die if my 8 year acted like this! I certainly wouldn't take him places or blame someone else. My kids NEVER threw tantrums like that. Maybe I'm lucky? I never would have entertained it even once. So maybe that's why? I know all kids don't have the same temperament. I think it is to do with the parents reaction, whether the children continue to act out most of the time. Kids usually only continue to do what has worked in the past. Adults are the ones who continue to do the same things over and over and wonder why they don't work. (I've been guilty of this in other areas of my adult life.)

denilla avatar
De Nilla
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have a lot of nerve trashing her family when you are willing to tear someone down that's already hurting just to stoke your own ego. There was no reason to be petty and shove it in her face in that moment that you was right. The SIL was already having her wedding ruined by her family to the point that she was crying. So, that's when you come in and throw salt on the wound? And for what? Ego? Right or not, it wasn't your wedding. Had she decided NOT to invite them, the whole family would've been harassing her. Her wedding day was ruined. Have you stopped and thought about how she was feeling? No. Seems like you're just like the rest of the family and have a need to be right. Hypocrite

ajones_1 avatar
A Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah It's a gray area. Kind of bad timing with the remark like lemon juice on wounds. SIL should of headed the warning too.

cassiechristian avatar
Cassie Christian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think ESH, but I also lean towards OP being an AH, solely for rubbing salt in the wound when the SIL was already devastated. Like, SILshould never have said anything to her family about OP talking bad about the nephew, but he's family and she probably really cares for him despite his issues. She clearly wanted him at the wedding despite the issues and was just hoping that the kid's parents would take some responsibility for one day. The SIL probably had a lot on her mind with the wedding planning and stuff (i recently got married and let me tell you it's a lot to think of, I think a tantrum from a family member would be the last thing on my mind personally) so her thoughts probably were "oh, yeah my sister, her husband, and my nephew! Great!" The OP should absolutely have not said "I told you so". I would feel vindicated too, but kicking SIL when she's down on what was supposed to be her happiest day feels wrong to me.

cassiechristian avatar
Cassie Christian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like don't get me wrong, SIL's family sounds like a whole nightmare, and it thankfully seems like SIL has learned that and is now closer with OP. OP made everything right in the end, so she isn't an AH anymore, but the day of the wedding she acted like an AH. I'm just happy that she was able to apologize and now hopefully make a good friend out of the SIL. Hopefully SIL appreciates her for trying to be helpful in the start.

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mike_loux avatar
Mike Loux
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

JAH. Justifiable A*****e. I would have done the same thing in her place. Sounds like she mended fences with SIL, which is great. The rest of the family can go f**k themselves.

toriputman55 avatar
Tee Tee Houston
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, I would have done the same thing, Im still laughing. SIL knew what she was dealing with from the beginning so it's her fault she didn't listen, when she got fair warning from the jump.

marymassey avatar
Mary Massey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think everyone has covered whether you should have or should not have zinged your SIL. I want to mention the fact this nephew is 9 years old and throws tantrums! Nine!!!! I was expecting a toddler. A 9 year yr old boy so undisciplined he is allowed to throw tantrums out in public is a sign that family needs some intervention. Terribly annoying and these people should never be invited to any public event, ever.

budakbaik avatar
budak baik
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Islam told me this even you not wrong you should apologize first let go your ego and say simple sorry

melissawallace avatar
Melissa Wallace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA for being right. SIL family ATA all of them. Being a parent is hard when when you discipline them, so you should have suggested distraction for the little ones. Any mom worth her salt knows that trick. But SILs family lacks brain power obvi.

donaldbrown avatar
Donald Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not enough that the negativity produced by a group of over dramatic adults you've had to take that negativity and glorify it by spreading it more in one of the most useless pieces of journalism space I have ever wasted my time reading....write something meaningful that has value not something that highschool girls discuss at cheerleader practice....really a she said he said you ruined my day your day grownups acting like spoiled children story. I can not begin to imagine what you think is important in the world so disappointing .

officialjob-p-d avatar
DforDory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have done the same. Normally in such a moment I would have sympathy, but in case I know that person will complain to me, not even putting the pieces together, rubbing it in their face might be just the perfect wake-up call. Call me petty, but this is what works for me as well in such situations.

rgroper avatar
Robin Roper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP should have taken the high rode. The SIL know immediately she had made the wrong decision. Had the OP turned to the Bride's sister and shot her daggers of disapproval, then followed the Bride out to help her compose herself, she would have come out much better. Certainly, it felt good to "I told you so." but it's an immature response at such and emotional time.

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The a*****e part was saying "I told you so." That was unnecessary and immature, and it was appropriate to apologise for it. When you're right, and everything has gone to hell, friends don't punch down. "You must be absolutely furious. I am so sorry this happened at your wedding. What can I do to help, because I completely have your back?" You can be right, and be supportive instead of making her feel worse.

keygirlus avatar
Bex
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would agree, but bride made it into a situation where the whole family came down on OP before the wedding. Also personally really sick of people getting b*tthurt about *totally predictable* situations. IL family are the ones who need to grow up.

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candicegcook avatar
Candice Cook
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9 is so much too old that I'd be shamed for life if my child acted like that in public. If I knew my kid acted like that and that I wasn't going to do anything about it, I would NEVER accept an invitation ANYWHERE!

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MsLou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SIL's family sounds absolutely insane. They take zero responsibility! First they blame the OP for warning the SIL, and now they blame the SIL for inviting the nephew?? He's 9 years old and throwing a temper tantrum. No OP should not have said that, but this story was wild. I just can't stand it when entitled people take zero responsibility.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the SIL/bride was sensible and smart, she wouldn't have told her family that OP warned her. Just make it an adults only wedding and reception and when asked about it by her sister don't explain why just say there are no exceptions to the rule.

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asexualotl (she/her)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i think nta dont downvote me. yes you may need to hold your tongue on one's wedding day but after they didn't listen to you and are that entitled, anytime is a good time to put them in their place.

tiffanywilson avatar
Tiffany Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What got me on this one was someone suggesting that the nephew should have been allowed to help cut the cake. IT WASN'T HIS WEDDING CAKE.

imbriuminarian avatar
Bunzilla
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd go with ESH. The SIL's sister should have listened, since, honestly, hasn't she seen how her bratty nephew behaves at every other function? And the SIL saying the bride should have offered to let the kid cut her wedding cake with her?! That's a whole new level of entitlement right there. Agreed, OP shouldn't have said, "I told you so". The SILs sister never should have told her family about that warning, which then caused everybody to harass the OP. At least OP genuinely apologized. Sucks that the poor sister had her wedding spoiled by her sister's brat.

imbriuminarian avatar
Bunzilla
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH = Everybody sucks here. And PS, I don't call a kid a brat lightly. But this kid's family certainly turned him into one!

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Seonag Udell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a terrible habit for saying to people " I'm not going to say I told you so, but I kinda did".

blackdog8911 avatar
Della
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta but that being said, you probably could have made the same point with a "look".

blazefitzwater221 avatar
Blaze Fitzwater
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is how I would've reacted. Agree, NTA but the "look" for sure would've been given. Favorite comment!

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weakknees avatar
Weak Knees
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A nine year old always throwing these types of tantrums? This kid needs diagnosing STAT. Although the OP was petty, she did apologize. What galls me is the mom blaming the bride for not letting the kid cut the wedding cake (are you kidding me?) and not taking the situation in hand with her own child.

shaunlee avatar
SheamusFan1987
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure I get the whole scenario but personally, I'd say ESH but Nephew is the ultimate Suck-bucket. OP didn't need to kick SIL down on that day itself but maybe a few days later or so but all-in-all, SIL did bring it all upon herself by bringing Suck-bucket Nephew along for the ride and practically smearing OP's name in front of the family was a c**p-a*s move too. But I gather we can all agree that Suck-bucket Nephew here needs a collective spanking from the Pandaverse for being that much of a piece of work.

alisa-fender avatar
Honu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for the nephew. He is the product of his family's upbringing. He's likely going to grow up to be insufferable, possibly unemployable and imprisoned, if there isn't some kind of intervention right quick. So I do definitely agree with you that a "collective spanking" is called for. For his own good. The family is socially crippling that child. I wouldn't be surprised if he's miserable at school because no one likes him, and he doesn't know how to fix it because his parents have never taught him empathy or kindness, how to be a good friend or how to just not p**s people off and have them hate you.

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Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why no kids under 13 should go to weddings unless there is a designated area for them to be babysat with someone. They don't understand etiquette or social gatherings adults have. School functions are diffent than $40k (or so) plus events. Sil did good but the bride should have taken the warning.

binawei avatar
Bina Wei
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe no kids under 11 or 12. I went to a wedding when I was 12, almost 13, and behaved fine. It also depends on the kid as well. And depends on the couple.

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Mary Brizendine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"should have invited him to cut the cake"? Seriously? Was it his wedding? They may have not thought he was that bad before, but now they know. Doubt he'll be invited anywhere again.

ortaduchess avatar
Stephanie Did It
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did OP quote the kid's mom on Facebook saying if she hadn't WANTED the kid to throw a tantrum, she wouldn't have brought him? In essence saying she wanted, no, PLANNED for his outbursts? Mind boggling. Or did I misunderstand?

sophiajarrettbridge avatar
Sophia Jarrett Bridge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You misunderstood. The brides sister (bratty child's mom) said on FB that if she the bride did not want the drama she should not have invited him..I'm sure though that if the bride did not invite him(them) they would have been upset. Considering, when OP suggested in the first place that the bride not invite him, it caused an upset.

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Hope Tirendi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe SIL will see her family for the toxic losers that they are and will become a better person herself. For the Brothers sake I certainly hope so!

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean... she did tell her lol I don't feel sorry for anyone involved. Bride should have known better and SIL's family need professional psychiatric help, especially the nephew who they've managed to royally f**k up. He will be an entitled brat forever and it's their fault. Bride got an apology and forgave her so OP isn't an a*****e in my eyes. Don't expect people to feel sorry for you when they told you what was going to happen and it happens.

twerk4jesus avatar
Twerk4Jesus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it necessary to repeat the same paragraph three times in a row?

pohtilaa avatar
Peikko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was rude to say that at that moment but you apologized and offered to get the dress cleaned so I wouldn't say you're an a*****e. But the SIL:s family definitely is.

binawei avatar
Bina Wei
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say she is as the update came after the post. But I think ESH (Everyone Su.cks Here) fits better

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cpwood avatar
CP Wood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a the moment, yes, OP was an AH, but she redeemed herself by apologies w/ wine, and now maybe they can be closer and become actual friends. The SIL's family is clearly like a junior high clique, and they have created a monster in the child. My granddaughter turns 9 soon, and she wouldn't have behaved that way at 4 yo! They are truly creating a monster, to unleash on the rest of the world to deal with later, and at some point, he will be dealt with; they still won't understand how it happened, or find him, or themselves, at fault. " should have let him cut the cake!" says it all!

mpwhite75 avatar
Micheal White
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The last thing you need from me is a smug I told you so, and smug it would be, because tell you I most certainly did" Mallory Archer

gabrielgawrada avatar
Gabriel Gawrada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That so many "loved the pettiness" of your remark is sad. Your sil's wedding was already ruined; there was no need to pour salt in the wound. Glad that you and she moved past it and are on good terms.

adelinebennett avatar
Adeline Bennett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA. Trying to couch it in irrelevant details doesn't change that lol. It's not always about being right. Sometimes you have to know when to think it but not SAY it.

kalessinsdaughter avatar
KalessinsDaughter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't help wondering if SIL's nephew is neurodivergent. His behaviour sounds extreme for a child his age, but if he *is* neurodivergent, punishment or "disciplining" don't work, and people who want to include him and his parents have to be willing to make accommodations, otherwise they're setting the kid up to fail. In that case, OP's behavior throughout is a nightmare for people around the child, including SIL. But even if the kid isn't neurodivergent, it's *unbelievably* rude and selfish to go "told you so" at SIL *at her wedding*, when she's already upset. Which makes me wonder if OP's judgement in calling SIL and her family rude and selfish can be trusted. Either way, it's clearly YTA on OP.

nunyabiz avatar
LolaBrio
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the more reason to have a childfree wedding. No exceptions!

colleenscurato avatar
Colleen Curato
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't of said a thing.. I would have rolled my eyes..removed myself from the situation and leave the bride and her family to deal with it..😅😅😜🤣🤣

melissa12080 avatar
Mbfsc63
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would anyone marry into a family like this????? They will always be selfish, ignorant people.

johnanderson avatar
John Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everybody in this story acted like an a**h*** at some point. SIL was AH for throwing OP under the bus. OP was the AH to say that at wedding. Nephew and mom are penultimate AH's along with the family in denial. If I was SIL's new husband, I'd be thinking long and hard about the family I just married into. Or scared

alyssiatoh2 avatar
Alyssia Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Issa YTA from me. Saying "I told you so" literally *during* a chaotic situation is rarely the right time. The other parts of the story are irrelevant

beth_landers avatar
Beth L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do this many 12-year-olds have things like weddings and children? No one in the whole extended family seems to be an actual functioning adult. "the family all agreed to call her selfish" - what even is that? Junior high mean girls stuff...

deborahharris avatar
Deborah Harris
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

joshuashamblin avatar
Joshua Shamblin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I deserved and needed every a*s whoopin I received as a child. Probably why I'm not dead or in prison...

rayteekygrusome avatar
Skorm Carter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ehhhh you were right. I honestly couldn't love the fact more that you put her in her place. OOOOWEEEE!!

markschnabel avatar
Mark Schnabel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The great James McMurtry sang it best, "Strap them kids in, give 'em a little bit of Benedryl, in their cherry colas..."

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP is an a-hole for saying that at that time. Nine years old is too old to be having screaming tantrums to the point that you are disrupting special occasions. The mother of the kid needs to get him under control and stop making excuses for him. The bride should not have invited him. I would have gotten a spanking if I had acted like that at someone's wedding or anything else. They need to get him tested to see if he is on the spectrum.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those people would never be invited to any gathering of mine until they either get the kid a rabies shot, muzzle him, or not be surprised when I heated his a*s until he couldn't sit.

silviaalmeida avatar
Silvia Almeida
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Couldn’t finish reading this long, boring and terribly written article!!! Awful!!!

nadineg_1 avatar
SCP-3998
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As mentioned in one of the comments; OP is 100% the Åsshole here, however, that is EXACTLY what was needed here. She did exactly what most of us would only wish we woulda done.

koolmudkips avatar
kool mudkips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would die if my 8 year acted like this! I certainly wouldn't take him places or blame someone else. My kids NEVER threw tantrums like that. Maybe I'm lucky? I never would have entertained it even once. So maybe that's why? I know all kids don't have the same temperament. I think it is to do with the parents reaction, whether the children continue to act out most of the time. Kids usually only continue to do what has worked in the past. Adults are the ones who continue to do the same things over and over and wonder why they don't work. (I've been guilty of this in other areas of my adult life.)

denilla avatar
De Nilla
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have a lot of nerve trashing her family when you are willing to tear someone down that's already hurting just to stoke your own ego. There was no reason to be petty and shove it in her face in that moment that you was right. The SIL was already having her wedding ruined by her family to the point that she was crying. So, that's when you come in and throw salt on the wound? And for what? Ego? Right or not, it wasn't your wedding. Had she decided NOT to invite them, the whole family would've been harassing her. Her wedding day was ruined. Have you stopped and thought about how she was feeling? No. Seems like you're just like the rest of the family and have a need to be right. Hypocrite

ajones_1 avatar
A Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah It's a gray area. Kind of bad timing with the remark like lemon juice on wounds. SIL should of headed the warning too.

cassiechristian avatar
Cassie Christian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think ESH, but I also lean towards OP being an AH, solely for rubbing salt in the wound when the SIL was already devastated. Like, SILshould never have said anything to her family about OP talking bad about the nephew, but he's family and she probably really cares for him despite his issues. She clearly wanted him at the wedding despite the issues and was just hoping that the kid's parents would take some responsibility for one day. The SIL probably had a lot on her mind with the wedding planning and stuff (i recently got married and let me tell you it's a lot to think of, I think a tantrum from a family member would be the last thing on my mind personally) so her thoughts probably were "oh, yeah my sister, her husband, and my nephew! Great!" The OP should absolutely have not said "I told you so". I would feel vindicated too, but kicking SIL when she's down on what was supposed to be her happiest day feels wrong to me.

cassiechristian avatar
Cassie Christian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like don't get me wrong, SIL's family sounds like a whole nightmare, and it thankfully seems like SIL has learned that and is now closer with OP. OP made everything right in the end, so she isn't an AH anymore, but the day of the wedding she acted like an AH. I'm just happy that she was able to apologize and now hopefully make a good friend out of the SIL. Hopefully SIL appreciates her for trying to be helpful in the start.

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mike_loux avatar
Mike Loux
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

JAH. Justifiable A*****e. I would have done the same thing in her place. Sounds like she mended fences with SIL, which is great. The rest of the family can go f**k themselves.

toriputman55 avatar
Tee Tee Houston
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, I would have done the same thing, Im still laughing. SIL knew what she was dealing with from the beginning so it's her fault she didn't listen, when she got fair warning from the jump.

marymassey avatar
Mary Massey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think everyone has covered whether you should have or should not have zinged your SIL. I want to mention the fact this nephew is 9 years old and throws tantrums! Nine!!!! I was expecting a toddler. A 9 year yr old boy so undisciplined he is allowed to throw tantrums out in public is a sign that family needs some intervention. Terribly annoying and these people should never be invited to any public event, ever.

budakbaik avatar
budak baik
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Islam told me this even you not wrong you should apologize first let go your ego and say simple sorry

melissawallace avatar
Melissa Wallace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA for being right. SIL family ATA all of them. Being a parent is hard when when you discipline them, so you should have suggested distraction for the little ones. Any mom worth her salt knows that trick. But SILs family lacks brain power obvi.

donaldbrown avatar
Donald Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not enough that the negativity produced by a group of over dramatic adults you've had to take that negativity and glorify it by spreading it more in one of the most useless pieces of journalism space I have ever wasted my time reading....write something meaningful that has value not something that highschool girls discuss at cheerleader practice....really a she said he said you ruined my day your day grownups acting like spoiled children story. I can not begin to imagine what you think is important in the world so disappointing .

officialjob-p-d avatar
DforDory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have done the same. Normally in such a moment I would have sympathy, but in case I know that person will complain to me, not even putting the pieces together, rubbing it in their face might be just the perfect wake-up call. Call me petty, but this is what works for me as well in such situations.

rgroper avatar
Robin Roper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP should have taken the high rode. The SIL know immediately she had made the wrong decision. Had the OP turned to the Bride's sister and shot her daggers of disapproval, then followed the Bride out to help her compose herself, she would have come out much better. Certainly, it felt good to "I told you so." but it's an immature response at such and emotional time.

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The a*****e part was saying "I told you so." That was unnecessary and immature, and it was appropriate to apologise for it. When you're right, and everything has gone to hell, friends don't punch down. "You must be absolutely furious. I am so sorry this happened at your wedding. What can I do to help, because I completely have your back?" You can be right, and be supportive instead of making her feel worse.

keygirlus avatar
Bex
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would agree, but bride made it into a situation where the whole family came down on OP before the wedding. Also personally really sick of people getting b*tthurt about *totally predictable* situations. IL family are the ones who need to grow up.

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