“AITA For Pointing Out That My Brother Lives A Very Privileged Life?”
Every one of you has heard phrases that go something along the lines of “family is everything” and “blood is thicker than water,” which hint at the crazy importance the family connection holds. And while this may be the case for some individuals, it’s not unusual for people to have poor relationships with their relatives or, at the very least, to hold opposing viewpoints.
We often forget that humans will be humans whether they’re related to us or not – so why is it that we’re constantly urged to sacrifice our individuality over this, frankly, oblivious mantra?
Don’t get me wrong, being a part of a family is an experience you will never receive in any other place – however, it only works if you’re able to co-exist in a healthy dynamic.
People get shamed left, right, and center for not wanting to do anything with their families, but you have the right to cut them out, to question their viewpoints, and most definitely, you have the right to call them out on their privileged behavior.
Most info: Reddit
Sometimes calling out a family member is the best thing you can ever do
Image credits: wonderferret (not the actual photo)
“AITA for pointing out that my brother lives a very privileged life?” – this web user turned to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members whether he’s indeed a jerk for shaming his very privileged brother online after he posted a rant regarding his brother-in-law. The post managed to garner nearly 10K upvotes as well as 1.9K comments discussing the situation.
Man ponders whether he’s a jerk for telling his 51-year-old sibling that he lives a very privileged life
Image credits: Outside_The_Walls
At the outset of his post, the author said that his 51-year-old brother currently resides with him. The man allegedly has held a string of jobs at establishments like Walmart and McDonald’s and even worked as a pizza delivery driver for about a month – however, allegedly, he was never really “good at life.”
The author’s brother, who has been residing with him for almost ten years, was reportedly never really “good at life”
Image credits: Outside_The_Walls
It was told that the gentleman had never held down a job for more than 60 days; he also dropped out of high school and never bothered to get a GED or a college degree. The author of the post said that the 51-year-old mostly sits in his room, drinks, smokes, and eats his food while playing JRPG games.
But the man said that he doesn’t mind it at all.
Due to his wife’s wise financial decisions, he and his family live in great comfort. He has more than enough resources to support himself and them completely for the rest of their lives, and that is exactly what he plans to do. The man doesn’t take the author’s children’s food away from them, and he has no impact on their college funding. It’s extra funds that the author would be “squirreling away” if he didn’t spend them on his older sibling.
Now, onto the main part. Recently at dinner, the author’s wife revealed that her brother lost his job due to massive layoffs that have been happening at his company and wondered if her husband could lend him some cash while he finds himself a new job. Of course, the author had no issue with it and told her to have him send an estimate of how much he needed.
The man’s brother-in-law just lost his job as a result of massive layoffs at his firm and asked if he might give him some cash while he looks for a new position
Image credits: Outside_The_Walls
To his surprise, after the conversation, his 51-year-old sibling made the decision to head over to Facebook and publish a tirade about how people should be more independent and not ask for favors they didn’t deserve. Although he didn’t mention the brother-in-law’s name, it was clear that that’s exactly what he was on about.
In response to his rant, the post’s author questioned in the comments how it was “self-reliant” to depend on him for the past decade. He informed him that he is really fortunate since not everyone has a millionaire brother who can cover all of their expenses. He then finished off his comment by asking how the weekly allowance that he gives him is not also a “handout.”
Naturally, a number of his gaming pals began making fun of him in the comments since, according to what is known, he claims to be an investment banker. He quickly deleted his post and hasn’t come out of his room since.
Later on, the 51-year-old, who’s been mooching off of his millionaire brother for several years, went over to Facebook to shame people who ask for handouts
Image credits: Outside_The_Walls
The author’s wife said that he shouldn’t have called him out so publicly and that he could’ve handled it in a more respectful manner. His aunt is also enraged and has snubbed him for “airing the family laundry.”
However, the author of the post quickly exposed him by commenting with the truth
Image credits: Colin and Sarah Northway (not the actual photo)
He acknowledges that he could have been the bad guy in this situation – not for what he said, but for how he said it on such a public forum. But at the same time, he still thinks he was acting reasonably.
What do you think about this situation?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on this matter
Image credits: District Media (not the actual photo)
227Kviews
Share on FacebookThis guy asked for it by airing the family laundry first, then acting all butthurt when said family corrected him. I also agree his brother is coddling him and should at least insist he earn his keep by doing charity volunteering. If got can't get a job, you at least still have a pair of hands and can put them to good use somewhere.
My thoughts exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking about the entire time I was reading this. There's no way that he would just sit, drink, smoke weed, and play video games all day or night, he'd have to do something, even if it's part time. He absolutely needs some kind of responsibility or purpose in his life. It can only help him. Volunteering in a animal shelter would be great for him and the animals if he doesn't want to work at a real job or working with the homeless in some capacity would be good for him, they both deal with a lot of empathy and consideration for others. He definitely needs something in his life to make it more worthwhile and give his day some substance.
Load More Replies...I live by the old saying "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks." To call someone out as leaching the family when you are doing the same....expect to be called out yourself. The brother did it publicly, he gets shamed publicly. Not the OPs fault.
Im also of the opinion that if youre gonna call someone out (if you feel a need to call someone out) for something you are doing Call yourself out too, don't just leave it onesided.
Load More Replies...This guy is not helping his brother, he's screwing him, help out on a time of need for sure, i would do that for both my siblings, and i know they would do it for me ( they allready did if Im honest ) however this is not helping its the oposit, reminds me of an extremely famous football player dude hás 3 siblings, Gave his brother a pub, One of his sisters wanted to be a Singer só he país her to lounch her carrear ( She sucks a*s lol but she's winning her how money ), his other sister on the other hand lol, her " job " is to leech her brother and be an uneducaded ignorant twat in social media,She wanted to be famous, ended up posing for playboy, then he Gave her a store/museum to manage, his stuff sells it self, ALL OVER THE WORLD,she screw that up, could not manage a little store, só now her only job is to be on social media, saying stupid c**p, and rellying on her brother's Fame for subs.
Wow, OP really has the patience of a saint here to take care of his brother for lifetime. I wouldn't have done that to someone who just refuses to grow up. Well, at least OP can for sure say he has the most expensive*pet* in town with that brother of his 😂
He’s the responsible one and his older brother, the bum, is the golden child. I’m pretty sure there’s some deep resentment behind that facebook post, and the younger brother did nothing wrong by putting the bum in his place and reminding him who feeds, clothes, and houses his grown self like one of the children.
I can't help but to admire the unconditional, non judgmental love this man has for his brother. It's a beautiful thing.
Quick question: How in the c**p does the eldest sibling end up being pretty much a liability like that? I'm the eldest with a younger sibling and I pretty much had to help him through college and work in the beginning stages (he's doing his part as well now so all's good). OP is doing his leech of a brother no favors here but what I cannot wrap my head around is how the heck did the elder brother grew to be one gigantic parasite instead of a sensible human being.
NTA wish i had a brither thar could help me out but everyone depends on me for everything abd in struggling it's crazy
I hate when families use “blood is thicker than water”. The earliest recorded uses of such a saying actually had the total opposite meaning: “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”.
I firmly believe that if you post something publicly, you should be prepared for somebody somewhere to fact check it. Sometimes that "fact check" is actually a reality check. I am really curious as to how the brother views his own situation?
I know what it's like to be the older sibling and a screw up. I'm the family scapegoat and took the brunt of the abuse. I no longer speak to my family because of this. But the brother was WAY out of line. He made a public post that the brother who, happily, supports him for close to a decade and will continue to do so, helped out his brother in law in an actual time of need. It's not his money, it's not his business. He doesn't have any of his own money. In my opinion the moocher brother has zero right to have any judgement, recrimination or self-righteousness. It's not just his lifestyle that's childish, it's his opinions and attitudes. Maturing means learning empathy. Both things he's CHOSEN not to have. He should be grateful his younger loves him so much and is generous and kind with his wealth. A lot of people aren't.
Nope couldn't be me if I have to go to work everyday and make a living so should my sibling. I refuse to take care of a grown person who doesn't want to make a sincere effort. The fact that you decided to enable your brother is your fault so you can either deal with it or put him out. Me personally I would've never put up with this type of behavior he is 51 not 15 so you enable him so this means you accept his behavior so deal with it.
I felt that yes the older brother shouldn't had ranted on fb about the bil, however he didn't state the name and not everyone know who he was talking about unless they did know them very well and if they knew them very well then they would had known he was a bum living off his younger brother in the first place and he was a hypocrite. So I think the younger brother should had first told him to take that post down or feel how it feels like if HE wrote a post how some people lives without a job and has a younger sibling to pay for his privileges. If that doesn't wake the older brother up, start talking about him in front of him in a round about matter and see how he feels like being talking about. In any case. Never take it public unless the first person won't repent. However I wouldn't just blame the parents for not parenting him well. Sometimes it's the person themselves that doesn't want to grow up or admit they were wrong. Although the younger brother coddling him too doesn't help
OP, you aren't a bad person but you've made poor decisions with your brother. You have enabled him to be the leech he is. You should call him out publicly just like he's doing to your brother in law. Why doesn't he have chores to do to earn his keep? There are no consequences for his actions. Let him know that if he wants his easy life to continue he had better stop being critical of other family members. Your wife is a saint for putting up with him for all these years. One last cynical question, why should the brother in law get a job. Your wife can pay for him like you are paying for your brother. You have already set a precedent.
This guy really loves his brother but he is not doing him any favors. He isn't great at life because no one is making try too. Why should he when everything is handed to him. You need to step back and make him grow up. He is a grown up, not a kid trying to find his way. At 51, it is waaayy over due .
This guy asked for it by airing the family laundry first, then acting all butthurt when said family corrected him. I also agree his brother is coddling him and should at least insist he earn his keep by doing charity volunteering. If got can't get a job, you at least still have a pair of hands and can put them to good use somewhere.
My thoughts exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking about the entire time I was reading this. There's no way that he would just sit, drink, smoke weed, and play video games all day or night, he'd have to do something, even if it's part time. He absolutely needs some kind of responsibility or purpose in his life. It can only help him. Volunteering in a animal shelter would be great for him and the animals if he doesn't want to work at a real job or working with the homeless in some capacity would be good for him, they both deal with a lot of empathy and consideration for others. He definitely needs something in his life to make it more worthwhile and give his day some substance.
Load More Replies...I live by the old saying "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks." To call someone out as leaching the family when you are doing the same....expect to be called out yourself. The brother did it publicly, he gets shamed publicly. Not the OPs fault.
Im also of the opinion that if youre gonna call someone out (if you feel a need to call someone out) for something you are doing Call yourself out too, don't just leave it onesided.
Load More Replies...This guy is not helping his brother, he's screwing him, help out on a time of need for sure, i would do that for both my siblings, and i know they would do it for me ( they allready did if Im honest ) however this is not helping its the oposit, reminds me of an extremely famous football player dude hás 3 siblings, Gave his brother a pub, One of his sisters wanted to be a Singer só he país her to lounch her carrear ( She sucks a*s lol but she's winning her how money ), his other sister on the other hand lol, her " job " is to leech her brother and be an uneducaded ignorant twat in social media,She wanted to be famous, ended up posing for playboy, then he Gave her a store/museum to manage, his stuff sells it self, ALL OVER THE WORLD,she screw that up, could not manage a little store, só now her only job is to be on social media, saying stupid c**p, and rellying on her brother's Fame for subs.
Wow, OP really has the patience of a saint here to take care of his brother for lifetime. I wouldn't have done that to someone who just refuses to grow up. Well, at least OP can for sure say he has the most expensive*pet* in town with that brother of his 😂
He’s the responsible one and his older brother, the bum, is the golden child. I’m pretty sure there’s some deep resentment behind that facebook post, and the younger brother did nothing wrong by putting the bum in his place and reminding him who feeds, clothes, and houses his grown self like one of the children.
I can't help but to admire the unconditional, non judgmental love this man has for his brother. It's a beautiful thing.
Quick question: How in the c**p does the eldest sibling end up being pretty much a liability like that? I'm the eldest with a younger sibling and I pretty much had to help him through college and work in the beginning stages (he's doing his part as well now so all's good). OP is doing his leech of a brother no favors here but what I cannot wrap my head around is how the heck did the elder brother grew to be one gigantic parasite instead of a sensible human being.
NTA wish i had a brither thar could help me out but everyone depends on me for everything abd in struggling it's crazy
I hate when families use “blood is thicker than water”. The earliest recorded uses of such a saying actually had the total opposite meaning: “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”.
I firmly believe that if you post something publicly, you should be prepared for somebody somewhere to fact check it. Sometimes that "fact check" is actually a reality check. I am really curious as to how the brother views his own situation?
I know what it's like to be the older sibling and a screw up. I'm the family scapegoat and took the brunt of the abuse. I no longer speak to my family because of this. But the brother was WAY out of line. He made a public post that the brother who, happily, supports him for close to a decade and will continue to do so, helped out his brother in law in an actual time of need. It's not his money, it's not his business. He doesn't have any of his own money. In my opinion the moocher brother has zero right to have any judgement, recrimination or self-righteousness. It's not just his lifestyle that's childish, it's his opinions and attitudes. Maturing means learning empathy. Both things he's CHOSEN not to have. He should be grateful his younger loves him so much and is generous and kind with his wealth. A lot of people aren't.
Nope couldn't be me if I have to go to work everyday and make a living so should my sibling. I refuse to take care of a grown person who doesn't want to make a sincere effort. The fact that you decided to enable your brother is your fault so you can either deal with it or put him out. Me personally I would've never put up with this type of behavior he is 51 not 15 so you enable him so this means you accept his behavior so deal with it.
I felt that yes the older brother shouldn't had ranted on fb about the bil, however he didn't state the name and not everyone know who he was talking about unless they did know them very well and if they knew them very well then they would had known he was a bum living off his younger brother in the first place and he was a hypocrite. So I think the younger brother should had first told him to take that post down or feel how it feels like if HE wrote a post how some people lives without a job and has a younger sibling to pay for his privileges. If that doesn't wake the older brother up, start talking about him in front of him in a round about matter and see how he feels like being talking about. In any case. Never take it public unless the first person won't repent. However I wouldn't just blame the parents for not parenting him well. Sometimes it's the person themselves that doesn't want to grow up or admit they were wrong. Although the younger brother coddling him too doesn't help
OP, you aren't a bad person but you've made poor decisions with your brother. You have enabled him to be the leech he is. You should call him out publicly just like he's doing to your brother in law. Why doesn't he have chores to do to earn his keep? There are no consequences for his actions. Let him know that if he wants his easy life to continue he had better stop being critical of other family members. Your wife is a saint for putting up with him for all these years. One last cynical question, why should the brother in law get a job. Your wife can pay for him like you are paying for your brother. You have already set a precedent.
This guy really loves his brother but he is not doing him any favors. He isn't great at life because no one is making try too. Why should he when everything is handed to him. You need to step back and make him grow up. He is a grown up, not a kid trying to find his way. At 51, it is waaayy over due .
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