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“Am I The Jerk For Bringing My Baby To A Child-Free Wedding?”
102points
6.8K
Parenting, Social Issues3 months ago

“Am I The Jerk For Bringing My Baby To A Child-Free Wedding?”

Whether or not to bring kids—and especially babies—to weddings can be a very sensitive issue. Strong arguments could be made for either case. However, when the happy couple explicitly ask their guests not to bring their kids, it’s usually best to honor their wishes. It is their wedding day after all. And they’re giving everyone plenty of notice to find a babysitter. Heck, some of the other guests might have hired certified professionals for their own kids!

Redditor u/babyweddingthrowaway shared what happens when guests don’t think that the rules apply to them. She turned to the AITA community for their opinion on whether or not she was a jerk for bringing her 10-month-old baby to her cousin’s wedding, despite everyone having been asked not to do this.

Scroll down for the full story in the new mom’s own words and to read how other internet users reacted to the entire drama. Oh, and when you’re done, we’d like to hear from you, Pandas. Who did you think was in the wrong? How would you have handled the situation? Do you have any weddings coming up soon? Tell us all about it in the comments.

Usually, marrying couples tell their guests whether or not it’s all right to bring kids to the wedding

Image credits: Justin Luck (not the actual photo)

In some cases, the guests don’t listen. Here’s one mom’s story about what happened when she brought her baby to the ceremony

Image credits: Samantha Gades (not the actual photo)

Image credits: babyweddingthrowaway

It’s pretty darn unusual for the AITA community to be so united in their YTA verdicts. In this particular case, a huge number of redditors thought that the mom was clearly in the wrong because she did the one thing parents were asked not to do. She brought her kid. The baby disrupted the ceremony. And the thing that the couple dreaded would happen actually happened.

The redditor’s defense was that she’d RSVP’d and told her cousin that she’d be bringing her baby anyway. The groom and his bride didn’t tell her ‘no’ again because they didn’t want to start any drama. Meanwhile, some of the other guests were upset because they thought the redditor was given “special treatment.”

In short, this entire situation shows what happens when even a single person thinks they’re above the general guidelines. We absolutely adore kids at weddings and we totally get parents wanting to love and protect their munchkins, but at the end of the day, if it’s a childfree wedding, it’s a childfree wedding. And demanding exemptions when others are in the exact same boat as you sounds a bit selfish.

Previously, Anna and Sarah, team leaders at The Wedding Society, stressed to Bored Panda that it is vital to respect the wishes of the marrying couple.

“Whether it be that kids of a certain age are welcome, only specific children of a few family and friends, or no kids at all,” guests should honor the couple’s wishes regarding kids at the ceremony.

“Please don’t take the inclusion or exclusion of your little ones personally (especially if the couple don’t have kids of their own to fully understand your situation) and remember—as nice as it is to bring your babes along to the celebration, it’s also an awesome opportunity for a fun night off if you’re asked to leave them with a sitter!” Anna and Sarah said that parents should strive to look at some of the positive aspects of going to a childfree wedding. It’s an opportunity to spend time with your partner, friends, and family. It’s a date night in disguise.

“For marrying couples, the etiquette can be trickier. Newborns really need to be with their parents so please don’t ask for any babies under a few months to be left at home. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask for parents of older children to take the night off and leave them with a sitter, but the fairest way to do this is to make a blanket rule for everyone rather than picking and choosing which kids can come and who can’t.”

The vast majority of internet users condemned what the mom did. Here’s what they said was wrong with her behavior

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MoJo1979
Community Member
3 months ago

If it says Child free, respect their decision and don't attend the wedding if you're not comfortable leaving the kid with someone. I had the same situation where my cousin was getting married and said it was child free and I simply replied with, enjoy your day, I cannot attend. It's not hard.

ursula zaid
Community Member
3 months ago

Was your cousin understanding?

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Mrs. Jan Glass
Community Member
3 months ago

One of my aunts did this. We were childfree. She decided that didn't apply to her pwecious grandbabies, and brought them so that everyone could admire how beautiful and special they were. Fortunately they didn't disturb the ceremony, but when they started running laps around the reception dance floor while dinner was being served, I had the coordinator "handle" things. Wedding advice: ALWAYS have a professional who can kick people out as needed!

John L
Community Member
3 months ago

Well, that is what ushers, are supposed to be for. I did an usher job for one of my friends and he told us to not let anyone in, once the wedding started and the vows were finished. We had a lobby full of upset people who couldn't be bothered to show up on time. But we didn't let them in until the vows were finished.

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Enlee Jones
Community Member
3 months ago

Translation: I’m a pweshus speshul snowflake and I’m looking for strangers to validate all the reasons I list to justify why the rules don’t apply to me.

Mrs. Jan Glass
Community Member
3 months ago

Also, they want to show off their kids/grandkids to feed their own egos instead of letting the focus be on the couple getting married.

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Lilsomms
Community Member
3 months ago

My husband and I requested that children under a certain age not attend. Basically any child younger than middle school age because the venue had some very expensive antique cars and neon signs around the reception space. We also didn't want any crying babies or disruptive toddlers during the ceremony since we spent a lot of time making it personal and custom to us. Some people RSVP'd no because of this, which we expected, but some of my husbands close friends actually found babysitters to stay with their little ones that the hotel. Still, one of my husbands like, 3rd cousins brought their newborn anyway and we felt like total jerks because of the optics. The baby did not cry or act up at all, but we felt really bad for our friends who were spending good money on babysitters and this random cousin took it upon themselves to bring their child. We didn't say anything until after the wedding, but they have always been very snotty and entitled. We're not big fans them to say the least.

Chris
Community Member
3 months ago

Yeah, I would've had her escorted out.

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Keith O
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes, 100% YTA. I would have called you and politely told you no once I received the RSVP. I kinda blame them a bit for not correcting your blatant disregard on the RSVP, but you should've stayed at home.

Anya Beboop
Community Member
3 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I think it was mistakes on both sides, as well. Everything in life goes better with communication and no assumptions.

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Mad McQueen
Community Member
3 months ago

I stared at my reception on the invitations no children. There was one child (my nephews and his gf that was a toddler) and usually at any family gathering they kinda ignore her an let others play or entertain or take care of her. I didn't want that. It was an adult reception w an open bar. Didn't want them having drinks and ignoring their kid or maybe having an accident on the way home with her in the car. They got a sitter. It was fine. But I've been to other weddings where young kids almost killed the vibe because they get into everything. Hate the food. Run around. Scream. Make others uncomfortable because it isn't their kid to tell them no, so they try to find the adult but it just isn't polite. No kids means no kids. So if you can't find a sitter then stay home an send congrats. A sitter was provided to this event. She should have used it and not have been entitled.

Alessa Gillespie
Community Member
3 months ago

I would be beyond mad if I attended a child free event only to encounter a screaming infant

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

So would I. If my boyfriend and I ever marry I'll would want it to be child free or at least no under 10s for that exact reason. So we don't have screaming infants or young kids running around where there's hot drinks.

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JuniorCJ82
Community Member
3 months ago

Didn't even read the story. Unless you are literally the bride or groom, YTA to infinity and beyond.

Nicole Krenzler
Community Member
3 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If you didn't read the story, how in the world would you have the info to decide?

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Michelle C
Community Member
3 months ago

I read the title and quickly said A55h0l3

Anna Banana
Community Member
3 months ago

I actually thought it was one of those "bait and switch" titles because surely they couldn't be a blantant a*****e right from the first words. Well, I was wrong.

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Geoff
Community Member
3 months ago

The wedding is a celebration for the bride and groom. They plan it, they organize it, they pay for it and therefore they set the rules. If you aren't mature enough to accept that, stay home. The bride and groom are probably very busy and don't have time to deal with drama from people who aren't footing the bill. It's really not complicated. Just put yourself in their place and try to be understanding of their situation, and remember: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

deanna woods
Community Member
3 months ago

The wedding was child free and that included this person's baby. The fact that she chose to bring it anyway shows that she didn't care what the rules were. If you don't want to leave your baby with an unknown babysitter, stay home and skip the wedding.

A C
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

Yes. Yes you are a jerk for bringing a baby to a baby free function.

CAS
Community Member
3 months ago

Her last sentence killed me “I didn’t mean to start any drama” are u kidding me? RESPECT is what you lack of. The rest of the guests that have children had to make sacrifice and RESPECTED the couple’s wishes. You just went right in and shove your disrespect to their faces. People like you who does not think outside of the box are always 💯 % YTA.

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
3 months ago

She was a selfish cow who only cared about herself.

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PandaPops
Community Member
3 months ago

YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*

Richard Wareham
Community Member
3 months ago

It always amazes me that people want thieir decisions to be justified (or not as in this case) by random people from the internet. Talk to the people that matter in your life.

Lizzy Crit
Community Member
3 months ago

Most of the time they're looking to prove those people wrong after talking IRL

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Diane Knight
Community Member
3 months ago

She even mentioned that other cousins were upset that the groom gave her 'special' permission. This is NOT one of those "don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness" events. Hubby and I brought the babysitter with us to the hotel for the weekend, when we went to an out-of-town wedding. Stay home or leave with a babysitter. Even a compromise of leaving hubby with the baby while you attend the wedding of the relative. Then feel out if the reception is ok to bring the little one , since the baby was eating their own 'chow', or leave her/him with the baby sitter til you are done eating and hubby returns to the hotel for the night. The world doesn't revolve around a$$wipes.

Paul Richards
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes you the ahole, baby free means NO BABIES

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
3 months ago

Exactly. Her cousin should have kicked her out. Her baby disturbed the wedding due to her selfishness. She should have got a babysitter or stayed home.

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Craig Reynolds
Community Member
3 months ago

Absolute 100% TA and always will be. There is NEVER any excuse. If you are told NO CHILDREN then you LISTEN or you STAY HOME. No exceptions.

Lynne Walker
Community Member
3 months ago

You could also have brought along someone you trusted to babysit where you were staying.

Pandaroo
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes, yes you are. My friend brought her baby to my childfree wedding but asked me beforehand because since he was a newborn he needed regular feeding. I was ok with that but the point is, she asked.

ljbeanfield
Community Member
3 months ago

So she doesn't even know the bride? Jeez.

Beth S
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes. You are an a*****e. Not sure why you really needed confirmation on this. You are extremely disrespectful.

i0ana
Community Member
3 months ago

Sadly...you are! :/

Dancing Armadillo
Community Member
3 months ago

Ok- so my cousin by marriage is getting married in 3 months. My daughter 5 and son 4 are the flowergirl and ring bearer. The link for the details of the wedding day says child free-adults only. I am assuming since my children are in the wedding and we are coming from out of town that we are all invited to the reception. We were just planning to just have dinner and cake- then leave back to the hotel. Is this kosher? Am I wrong?

Karen Violette Cubbison
Community Member
3 months ago

Instead of assuming, talk to the future bride and groom. I hope it all works out. :)

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happycamper
Community Member
3 months ago

this was only on reddit yesterday, so quick to copy it here!

DannX68
Community Member
3 months ago

Some of us are not on Reddit. It's always, ALWAYS, stupid to complain about content you get for free on a site you follow of your own will.

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Stefi Stoyanova
Community Member
3 months ago

OP is the b******e 10000%! If it says child-free then it's CHILD-FREE! End of story! Bringing a child much less a baby that made a fuss to a wedding that in no uncertain terms said no children is like being told to not wear white at a funeral service yet do it! It's both tacky, extremely disrespectful, not to mention downright ultra-entitled!

Sheena Leversedge Wood
Community Member
3 months ago

definitely the arsehole. seeing as there were other young relatives there in the same age group, I'm sure if they'd contacted the couple and explained their situation, they probably WOULD have agreed to it. but to bring them without getting express permission from the hosts, totally the arsehole here.

Penny Lost
Community Member
3 months ago

Ugh, I hate people like that. I have a rule -- if you come to my house, take off your shoes after you walk through the front door. My floor is clean, but if you are uncomfortable being barefoot/with just socks on, I will provide some slippers (also clean). Pretty much everyone who comes over is cool with it. However, there are always one or two very-special-snowflakes who would attempt to plow through with "...but my shoes are cle-eean!" banter, who then get perplexed by why they are not invited to come back.

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
2 months ago

Fair enough. I have that rule in my flat too.

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Ria
Community Member
3 months ago

Maybe not an a$$ but rude, unfriendly and egoistic. That was t h e i r day. Once. This day will never come back. In any video of the ceremony there is your baby crying. No matter how long or short. It will remember them forever that you broke the rules and the wish to have a harmonic, child free wedding.

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

I agree. People like her are so selfish reproducing and expecting everyone else to put up with their decision. Child free means just that.

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Jaguarundi
Community Member
3 months ago

One word. YES!

Robert T
Community Member
3 months ago

Babies that aren't yet crawling, I wouldn't have a problem with, as long as you take them out of the room if the start crying. Free range crotch goblins should be left at home! In this case I think she could have made more effort to speak to the cousins about it first.

Trish Smith
Community Member
3 months ago

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I hate that terminology! :(

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Liyah Handelman
Community Member
3 months ago

it’s so rude and entitled that somebody would do this! definitely agree with the comments

Creature Cargeaux
Community Member
3 months ago

I'm convinced half of these are trolls. Lol. Cause I can't wrap my head around someone being so fucken entitled.

Paloma
Community Member
3 months ago

Perhaps she could have spoken to them directly with regards to bringing the child rather than write it on the RSVP and then she would have known their response and respected their wishes.

LeeAnne B
Community Member
3 months ago

Child free means child free. Respect and honour the boundaries of those that chose you to share their special day. Don't go if you can't comply.

kat lia
Community Member
3 months ago

yup you are a total jerk.

BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
3 months ago

I've wanted to attend a couple of weddings that weren't "child free" as a policy but the bride/groom let me know that the venue wasn't really child friendly (I had a toddler at the time). I appreciated their invite and they understood why I couldn't come. I can imagine for some parents, a child free wedding is a great thing. Great excuse for a date night

Nicole Herron
Community Member
3 months ago

Anyone who does that should be shot.

Rachel Konefka
Community Member
3 months ago

This happened to me twice. When my child was 3, only my husband attended, and he was the best man! Later, a great friend was getting married and my kid was 4 and I left him with my husband and went alone.

Rachel Betancort
Community Member
3 months ago

You should of received " regrets" and not went if you didn't have a sitter arranged for the wedding. They should of contacted you and said that a plus 1.. even a baby on your lap was not possible. You were rude to write that in on your own and ruder to not confirm verbally that they saw that and that it was ok. This is why people send rsvps out.. to give people a chance to reply that they cant come based on the restrictions given in the invite. Or to give you a reasonable amount of time to make arrangements. I'd be mad if I followed the rules to have someone just " write in" their own.

Victoria McClain
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes, you are the AH. This was the bride and grooms day. They requested child free. What part of that didn't you get? It is not about you. Get a babysitter or don't go. Respect their wishes, it is their wedding.

Beatriz Mendoza
Community Member
3 months ago

Well, I wouldn't exactly say you're a jerk for bringing your child to a child-free wedding, but it was the wishes of your cousin, so it's best you respected ii;. Now, if there was a babysitter to watch the little ones for those who find it hard to leave their kids at home, you may want to take advantage of that service; but if I would find that hard to do either one; I would opted.not to attend, but send them a nice wedding gift! 🙏❤️

Shayla Katherina
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

We had a child free wedding because my husband has such a big family, allowing kids would have nearly doubled our guest list which we couldn't afford. One of our relatives objected that she couldn't bring all of her kids, and we told her find a sitter or stay home. It's not fair to the other guests that followed the rule and it's disrespectful to the couple that gave notice well in advance to find a sitter for one day. The couple is already incredibly busy and stressed in the days leading up to the wedding, they might not want to argue with you over it, but that doesn't mean they want to make an exception either.

Kate Schenk
Community Member
3 months ago

If you are uncomfortabie leaving your 10 month old with a 'certified' sitter, you shouldn't gone to the wedding or reception. YTA, totally.

Melissa Camus
Community Member
4 weeks ago

I thought maybe it was a new born which I would kinda understand but no....

Remedy
Community Member
3 months ago

Basically asking "am I an a*****e for being an a*****e"...

Mer☕️🧭☕️
Community Member
3 months ago

Duh, yeah.

Remedy
Community Member
3 months ago

Basically asking "am I an a*****e for being an a*****e?"

Ein Steinbeck
Community Member
3 months ago

"Child free wedding" immediately followed by "except for these unspecified # of nieces and nephews." ESH. Solid ESH.

Adrienne Kushner
Community Member
3 months ago

Child free means child free. The young nieces and nephews changed that rule and I would have pointed that out to the other guests. I still wouldn't have brought the baby. I left my 8-month-old baby with the sitter that was provided and she was fine.

Cara Bilger
Community Member
3 months ago

Of course you can opt out- sometimes, if the person won't consider it a bridge burning. Honestly, people expect a lot just for getting married.. Engagement gift, bridal shower gift, expensive bachelor/ette parties, pay someone to watch your kid for 6 hours, cause they can't come - oh also, here's our wedding registry info cause we also expect a wedding gift. This nonsense is why I got married with my husband, 2 witnesses, and an officiant. My decision to get married shouldn't cost my friends and family hundreds of dollars.

Bill Kotsias
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

It's very weird that in the USA people are treating their wedding day like it's their most important day in their life. Hello?!? Wake up?!? It's not. There is no such thing as perfect and the most important day of your life is the one you're living right now. This is all so immature and thinking that a crying baby would ruin the faux-perfect day is just spoiled, self-righteous bulldonkey.

Josie Sangione
Community Member
3 months ago

It is one of the most important days in a couple's life. How sad you don't view it that way. Btw, if I'm having a party (or a wedding) and paying for it, I get to decide who is allowed to attend. Don't like it, stay home.

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Sunny Skies
Community Member
3 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

Anika Monosmith
Community Member
3 months ago

Eh, ETA. Imagine if a wedding invitation said "Disability-Free Wedding" or "Elder-Free Wedding". Reddit would probably respond differently.

Sanchi
Community Member
2 months ago

No, they make it child free so everyone else can have a better time

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chandni punjani
Community Member
3 months ago

I'm from India and this came as a culture shock. Here, we welcome guests with all our heart. We love babies and cant imagine asking parents to come without them.

Sanchi
Community Member
2 months ago

I’m from India and can tell you Indians will cooperate when there is a condition, and not consider themselves over the rest of the guests.

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ursula zaid
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

Her cousin had no right to tell her he was comfortable leaving his kid with some babysitter so she should too..some people are more careful who they leave their kids around...as for the situation she should have stayed at home..however I do wonder would they have been mad at that ? Some.of these cases people can be a holes when a relative can't attend .

Display Name
Community Member
3 months ago

So tru

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Lisa Peckham
Community Member
3 months ago

Should have stayed home or gone without the baby. However I do find that weddings that want to be totally child free and have absolutely no interruptions or mistakes or any other “problems” I probably not a wedding I wanna be at personally anyway. I think weddings have gone way over the top with money and perfection and bride silillas and nearly anything else you want to mention. If you want to get married you wanna get married. If you want to procession and then do something else. But don’t take your babies if you’re told not to

C K
Community Member
3 months ago

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This generation doesn't respect family at all they only think of them self if you don't want family don't have a wedding go to the preacher and get married alone just the 2 of you. Dont expect presents and money and all your friends to pay for their wedding clothes for You just say your vales and be done

Josie Sangione
Community Member
3 months ago

If someone is hosting an event, in this case a wedding, they get to decide the parameters (no kids). Regardless of family, as a guest you are too be an adult and respect those parameters. Don't like it? Don't go. Grow up.

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Display Name
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Oml i didnt expect...ANY...any YTA's......she was a worried mom and ATLEAST she told her cousin, da only thing dat couldve changed was her cousin shouldve tould her it wasnt ok after she sent her RSVP

Josie Sangione
Community Member
3 months ago

You're kidding, right? "Protective" mom should have done the right thing and declined. No means no. I guess you were that tease in high school.

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Rahul Pawa
Community Member
3 months ago

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Seems weird that exceptions were made for the bride's side but not the groom's side.

Josie Sangione
Community Member
3 months ago

It was the bride's nieces and nephews; not the bride's cousin's kids. Difference.

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AgreeD 2
Community Member
3 months ago

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This is so sad. If my kids are not allowed somewhere I just don't go. She was honest with her cousin about her situation, so I can't imagine why she would be in the wrong. I would never go back to my family if they has confronted me to bring my baby at a family party. The wedding still goes on, no one had to care for the child, so what if the bug deal. You know what screw them! S**t !

Joshua Kelly
Community Member
3 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

They're both the AH. If the couple had a problem with it, don't not say something then be mad that the writer did what she said she was going to do. And as someone who will also have a child free wedding, don't show up with your damn kids when I say I don't want them there

Chris Lamont
Community Member
3 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Honestly, I think everyone commenting ITA. It's just an effing wedding. Most people are too effing uptight these days. The purpose is to enjoy time with family, not be concerned with how perfect the wedding is.

Elizabeth Rose
Community Member
3 months ago

come on man. they wanted their wedding to be adults only. Maybe they wanted to drink their heads off. It's not being uptight, it's asking for your wishes to be respected. It was one day. They could have used the sitter, they didn't. It was just blatant disrespect.

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Freda Faulkner
Community Member
3 months ago

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Weddings are no longer family-oriented ceremonies where the bride and groom are joined in holy matrimony, with friends and relatives, along with their children are welcome. Any disruptions (which were few) were immediately handled, quietly and efficiently, by family members. Receptions were more casual, with self-serve buffet dinners. The just-married couple were the center of attention, and things almost always progressed smoothly. Sadly, those days are gone. The wedding of today is no longer a joyous occasion. Now the wedding is nothing more than an expensive major production, filled with strict guidelines and many frustrations, which the folks will be paying for into the far future. Too bad those happy days are gone.

Anika Monosmith
Community Member
3 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Eh, ETA. Imagine if someone wrote on their invitation "Disability Free Wedding" or "Elder Free Wedding". If someone came in a wheelchair anyway, how would this forum respond?

Elizabeth Rose
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

that's a completely asinine allegory that makes zero sense. I feel absolutely ridiculous having to explain this, but here goes-being disabled is not a choice. You taking your kid to a wedding when you asked not to is 100% a choice.

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Liana
Community Member
3 months ago

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To be honest, it always surprises me when I read a post like this. I can't imagine doing a child free wedding in my country. Sometimes the bride and the groom even rent out rooms, so you can put the kids down to sleep. Or bring grandparents to entertain the kids. But it's a matter of cultural differences, I guess.

Beverly Hasegawa
Community Member
3 months ago

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Frankly, I'm with you. Cultures that are open to children are warmer and a lot more fun. That said, the person in this case did behave badly. I would have simply stayed home.

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Glasia van Duivels
Community Member
3 months ago

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This comment has been deleted.

AA Matty
Community Member
3 months ago

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I love kids and child-free weddings are a clear sign of society's decay. With that said, child-free means child-free. Not her day and she wasn't paying for it. She should have called if she was planning violating a clear request . If she can't bear to have a sitter watch the kid for a few hours then don't go & they already had sitter lined up for the other kids? So the family was already being accommodating.

Jordan Westall
Community Member
3 months ago

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People need to get over themselves. I get it's their wedding day but other people have lives and responsibilities

Leslie Burleson
Community Member
3 months ago

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I think anyone saying she's the ah is somebody without kids. It's hard to trust somebody with your child when your child isn't old enough to ask for help or tell parents when something has happened . She assumed it was ok because the invitation situation . That's where her mistake was. She should have asked rather than assumed it was ok. I don't think she's the ah though. It sounds like she took care to be sure the baby wasn't a nuisance . I think we should stop calling people ah's online honestly . Slightly more care could've been taken on both parts , and it sounds like things weren't that bad. Weddings are a celebration of love and bringing people together

Jrog
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

A quick memo for people not used to Reddit. Throwaway account -> Made up story. AITA (Am I the A*****e) posts -> Made up story. Relationship, sexist or wedding drama -> Made up story.

Fat Harry
Community Member
3 months ago

People who claim everything is fake have no imagination.

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MoJo1979
Community Member
3 months ago

If it says Child free, respect their decision and don't attend the wedding if you're not comfortable leaving the kid with someone. I had the same situation where my cousin was getting married and said it was child free and I simply replied with, enjoy your day, I cannot attend. It's not hard.

ursula zaid
Community Member
3 months ago

Was your cousin understanding?

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Mrs. Jan Glass
Community Member
3 months ago

One of my aunts did this. We were childfree. She decided that didn't apply to her pwecious grandbabies, and brought them so that everyone could admire how beautiful and special they were. Fortunately they didn't disturb the ceremony, but when they started running laps around the reception dance floor while dinner was being served, I had the coordinator "handle" things. Wedding advice: ALWAYS have a professional who can kick people out as needed!

John L
Community Member
3 months ago

Well, that is what ushers, are supposed to be for. I did an usher job for one of my friends and he told us to not let anyone in, once the wedding started and the vows were finished. We had a lobby full of upset people who couldn't be bothered to show up on time. But we didn't let them in until the vows were finished.

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Enlee Jones
Community Member
3 months ago

Translation: I’m a pweshus speshul snowflake and I’m looking for strangers to validate all the reasons I list to justify why the rules don’t apply to me.

Mrs. Jan Glass
Community Member
3 months ago

Also, they want to show off their kids/grandkids to feed their own egos instead of letting the focus be on the couple getting married.

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Lilsomms
Community Member
3 months ago

My husband and I requested that children under a certain age not attend. Basically any child younger than middle school age because the venue had some very expensive antique cars and neon signs around the reception space. We also didn't want any crying babies or disruptive toddlers during the ceremony since we spent a lot of time making it personal and custom to us. Some people RSVP'd no because of this, which we expected, but some of my husbands close friends actually found babysitters to stay with their little ones that the hotel. Still, one of my husbands like, 3rd cousins brought their newborn anyway and we felt like total jerks because of the optics. The baby did not cry or act up at all, but we felt really bad for our friends who were spending good money on babysitters and this random cousin took it upon themselves to bring their child. We didn't say anything until after the wedding, but they have always been very snotty and entitled. We're not big fans them to say the least.

Chris
Community Member
3 months ago

Yeah, I would've had her escorted out.

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Keith O
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes, 100% YTA. I would have called you and politely told you no once I received the RSVP. I kinda blame them a bit for not correcting your blatant disregard on the RSVP, but you should've stayed at home.

Anya Beboop
Community Member
3 months ago

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I think it was mistakes on both sides, as well. Everything in life goes better with communication and no assumptions.

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Mad McQueen
Community Member
3 months ago

I stared at my reception on the invitations no children. There was one child (my nephews and his gf that was a toddler) and usually at any family gathering they kinda ignore her an let others play or entertain or take care of her. I didn't want that. It was an adult reception w an open bar. Didn't want them having drinks and ignoring their kid or maybe having an accident on the way home with her in the car. They got a sitter. It was fine. But I've been to other weddings where young kids almost killed the vibe because they get into everything. Hate the food. Run around. Scream. Make others uncomfortable because it isn't their kid to tell them no, so they try to find the adult but it just isn't polite. No kids means no kids. So if you can't find a sitter then stay home an send congrats. A sitter was provided to this event. She should have used it and not have been entitled.

Alessa Gillespie
Community Member
3 months ago

I would be beyond mad if I attended a child free event only to encounter a screaming infant

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

So would I. If my boyfriend and I ever marry I'll would want it to be child free or at least no under 10s for that exact reason. So we don't have screaming infants or young kids running around where there's hot drinks.

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JuniorCJ82
Community Member
3 months ago

Didn't even read the story. Unless you are literally the bride or groom, YTA to infinity and beyond.

Nicole Krenzler
Community Member
3 months ago

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If you didn't read the story, how in the world would you have the info to decide?

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Michelle C
Community Member
3 months ago

I read the title and quickly said A55h0l3

Anna Banana
Community Member
3 months ago

I actually thought it was one of those "bait and switch" titles because surely they couldn't be a blantant a*****e right from the first words. Well, I was wrong.

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Geoff
Community Member
3 months ago

The wedding is a celebration for the bride and groom. They plan it, they organize it, they pay for it and therefore they set the rules. If you aren't mature enough to accept that, stay home. The bride and groom are probably very busy and don't have time to deal with drama from people who aren't footing the bill. It's really not complicated. Just put yourself in their place and try to be understanding of their situation, and remember: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

deanna woods
Community Member
3 months ago

The wedding was child free and that included this person's baby. The fact that she chose to bring it anyway shows that she didn't care what the rules were. If you don't want to leave your baby with an unknown babysitter, stay home and skip the wedding.

A C
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

Yes. Yes you are a jerk for bringing a baby to a baby free function.

CAS
Community Member
3 months ago

Her last sentence killed me “I didn’t mean to start any drama” are u kidding me? RESPECT is what you lack of. The rest of the guests that have children had to make sacrifice and RESPECTED the couple’s wishes. You just went right in and shove your disrespect to their faces. People like you who does not think outside of the box are always 💯 % YTA.

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
3 months ago

She was a selfish cow who only cared about herself.

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PandaPops
Community Member
3 months ago

YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*YTA*

Richard Wareham
Community Member
3 months ago

It always amazes me that people want thieir decisions to be justified (or not as in this case) by random people from the internet. Talk to the people that matter in your life.

Lizzy Crit
Community Member
3 months ago

Most of the time they're looking to prove those people wrong after talking IRL

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Diane Knight
Community Member
3 months ago

She even mentioned that other cousins were upset that the groom gave her 'special' permission. This is NOT one of those "don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness" events. Hubby and I brought the babysitter with us to the hotel for the weekend, when we went to an out-of-town wedding. Stay home or leave with a babysitter. Even a compromise of leaving hubby with the baby while you attend the wedding of the relative. Then feel out if the reception is ok to bring the little one , since the baby was eating their own 'chow', or leave her/him with the baby sitter til you are done eating and hubby returns to the hotel for the night. The world doesn't revolve around a$$wipes.

Paul Richards
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes you the ahole, baby free means NO BABIES

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
3 months ago

Exactly. Her cousin should have kicked her out. Her baby disturbed the wedding due to her selfishness. She should have got a babysitter or stayed home.

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Craig Reynolds
Community Member
3 months ago

Absolute 100% TA and always will be. There is NEVER any excuse. If you are told NO CHILDREN then you LISTEN or you STAY HOME. No exceptions.

Lynne Walker
Community Member
3 months ago

You could also have brought along someone you trusted to babysit where you were staying.

Pandaroo
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes, yes you are. My friend brought her baby to my childfree wedding but asked me beforehand because since he was a newborn he needed regular feeding. I was ok with that but the point is, she asked.

ljbeanfield
Community Member
3 months ago

So she doesn't even know the bride? Jeez.

Beth S
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes. You are an a*****e. Not sure why you really needed confirmation on this. You are extremely disrespectful.

i0ana
Community Member
3 months ago

Sadly...you are! :/

Dancing Armadillo
Community Member
3 months ago

Ok- so my cousin by marriage is getting married in 3 months. My daughter 5 and son 4 are the flowergirl and ring bearer. The link for the details of the wedding day says child free-adults only. I am assuming since my children are in the wedding and we are coming from out of town that we are all invited to the reception. We were just planning to just have dinner and cake- then leave back to the hotel. Is this kosher? Am I wrong?

Karen Violette Cubbison
Community Member
3 months ago

Instead of assuming, talk to the future bride and groom. I hope it all works out. :)

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happycamper
Community Member
3 months ago

this was only on reddit yesterday, so quick to copy it here!

DannX68
Community Member
3 months ago

Some of us are not on Reddit. It's always, ALWAYS, stupid to complain about content you get for free on a site you follow of your own will.

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Stefi Stoyanova
Community Member
3 months ago

OP is the b******e 10000%! If it says child-free then it's CHILD-FREE! End of story! Bringing a child much less a baby that made a fuss to a wedding that in no uncertain terms said no children is like being told to not wear white at a funeral service yet do it! It's both tacky, extremely disrespectful, not to mention downright ultra-entitled!

Sheena Leversedge Wood
Community Member
3 months ago

definitely the arsehole. seeing as there were other young relatives there in the same age group, I'm sure if they'd contacted the couple and explained their situation, they probably WOULD have agreed to it. but to bring them without getting express permission from the hosts, totally the arsehole here.

Penny Lost
Community Member
3 months ago

Ugh, I hate people like that. I have a rule -- if you come to my house, take off your shoes after you walk through the front door. My floor is clean, but if you are uncomfortable being barefoot/with just socks on, I will provide some slippers (also clean). Pretty much everyone who comes over is cool with it. However, there are always one or two very-special-snowflakes who would attempt to plow through with "...but my shoes are cle-eean!" banter, who then get perplexed by why they are not invited to come back.

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
2 months ago

Fair enough. I have that rule in my flat too.

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Ria
Community Member
3 months ago

Maybe not an a$$ but rude, unfriendly and egoistic. That was t h e i r day. Once. This day will never come back. In any video of the ceremony there is your baby crying. No matter how long or short. It will remember them forever that you broke the rules and the wish to have a harmonic, child free wedding.

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

I agree. People like her are so selfish reproducing and expecting everyone else to put up with their decision. Child free means just that.

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Jaguarundi
Community Member
3 months ago

One word. YES!

Robert T
Community Member
3 months ago

Babies that aren't yet crawling, I wouldn't have a problem with, as long as you take them out of the room if the start crying. Free range crotch goblins should be left at home! In this case I think she could have made more effort to speak to the cousins about it first.

Trish Smith
Community Member
3 months ago

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I hate that terminology! :(

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Liyah Handelman
Community Member
3 months ago

it’s so rude and entitled that somebody would do this! definitely agree with the comments

Creature Cargeaux
Community Member
3 months ago

I'm convinced half of these are trolls. Lol. Cause I can't wrap my head around someone being so fucken entitled.

Paloma
Community Member
3 months ago

Perhaps she could have spoken to them directly with regards to bringing the child rather than write it on the RSVP and then she would have known their response and respected their wishes.

LeeAnne B
Community Member
3 months ago

Child free means child free. Respect and honour the boundaries of those that chose you to share their special day. Don't go if you can't comply.

kat lia
Community Member
3 months ago

yup you are a total jerk.

BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
3 months ago

I've wanted to attend a couple of weddings that weren't "child free" as a policy but the bride/groom let me know that the venue wasn't really child friendly (I had a toddler at the time). I appreciated their invite and they understood why I couldn't come. I can imagine for some parents, a child free wedding is a great thing. Great excuse for a date night

Nicole Herron
Community Member
3 months ago

Anyone who does that should be shot.

Rachel Konefka
Community Member
3 months ago

This happened to me twice. When my child was 3, only my husband attended, and he was the best man! Later, a great friend was getting married and my kid was 4 and I left him with my husband and went alone.

Rachel Betancort
Community Member
3 months ago

You should of received " regrets" and not went if you didn't have a sitter arranged for the wedding. They should of contacted you and said that a plus 1.. even a baby on your lap was not possible. You were rude to write that in on your own and ruder to not confirm verbally that they saw that and that it was ok. This is why people send rsvps out.. to give people a chance to reply that they cant come based on the restrictions given in the invite. Or to give you a reasonable amount of time to make arrangements. I'd be mad if I followed the rules to have someone just " write in" their own.