It’s not the first time that bridezillas have made headlines for causing drama over their wedding gifts. Previously, we wrote about an entitled bride who believed this stranger owed her a custom order done for free, then we covered a story about a bride who asked guests for $1,500 each, and then… there’s this post on how bridezillas have left their guests speechless for various reasons.
This time, yet another entitled bride made it into the press when someone shared a screenshot of her post posted on the Brisbane Wedding Facebook group. Apparently, the bride felt so hurt and “slapped in the face” for getting 2 Kmart towels as a wedding gift for her “very exclusive wedding.”
“We don’t know how to deal with it…any suggestions?” the bride wrote, begging for some tips on how to survive this ‘horrendous situation.’ People were not buying it, of course, and below are some of the heated reactions.
This entitled bride who said a $10 wedding gift for her ‘very exclusive wedding’ was a slap in the face has left people online speechless
Image credits: Tomáš Obšívač (not the actual photo)
To find out if there are any rules or boundaries when it comes to asking for wedding gifts, Bored Panda reached out to Elisabeth de Clerck of “Lucy Till French Weddings” who was happy to share her expertise.
“It is a hard thing to ask for a wedding gift and to find a way of asking this appropriately, Elisabeth said and continued: “Every couple is different, every wedding is different and so every wedding gift is different. Therefore I would not say there are any specific rules on how to ask for a wedding gift.”
Having said that, Elisabeth would recommend not making it too complicated since “your guests are already adapting themselves to you to come to your wedding. A gift registry is a cool way to give your guests an easy overview of what you like. Give some options in different price classes, so guests feel comfortable with the amount of money to spend on your wedding gift.”
Many were left speechless by the post
Image credits: sajr2019
“Some will be more than happy to pay you more, others cannot always afford the most expensive things, but that does not mean they care or love you less. So, make them feel comfortable by showing that the price they pay on your wedding gift does not matter.”
Elisabeth argues that whatever you decide, the wording around it is the most important. “Do not just put your wedding registry or bank account out there, this will make them feel that they are obligated to give you a gift. The most important is that your guests are looking forward to your wedding and present on the day, let them know this and that it is completely their decision whether they give you a gift or not,” she explained.
Most importantly, everyone should remember that “Asking for a wedding gift is not an excuse to get things for free,” Elisabeth added.
Others thought the bride kinda had a point
I think we really need more context. If the best friend is swimming in money and put no thought & effort into the gift because they don’t care, then I can understand the bride. If the friend is poor and wanted to buy SOMETHING at least, then that’s an entirely different situation.
Presentation can help. Years back, my boyfriend couldn't be bothered to buy gifts for his cousin's wedding, so I took care of it. The towels on their gift registry were too expensive for my wee budget, so I bought cheaper ones that were similar, along with candles in the same colour and a card with two cheetahs grooming each other. The cousin and wife wrote me that they lit the candles while having a bath together. Totally sweet and both keepers, married for life.
Load More Replies...If my best friend gave me two random $5 towels, I'd ask if they were OK?
Agreed. I'd be also grateful, b/c you can always use towels. A crystal vase, that breaks. Towels, those last!
Load More Replies...As a broke student, I once bought a garlic presser from the wedding register and decorated the package with a Darth Maul miniature that was actually a bottle of shower gel. As the couple were huge Star Wars nerds, they absolutely loved it.
Proving the adage that "it's the thought that counts."
Load More Replies...I have to give my 2 cents here. When I married the first time, it was an adult only, black tie reception (it stated so on both the response cards and the invite). We were very specific on the invitation envelopes - Mr. & Mrs. Joe Smith or Mr. Joe Smith & Guest - NOT Joe Smith and family. My husband's cousin's response card, whose invite was for Mr. & Mrs. Joe Smith, came back for 7 people and a note that they couldn't make it, but were sending their 5 children with the wife's aunt instead. And all the children were under the age of 12. An there was a note that their kids wouldn't eat what we were offering and couldn't they have chicken nuggets instead of steak or fish? A few weeks after the wedding, she called me to complain that her kids had a horrible time a there were no activities for her children. I reiterated the "adult only" on the invite and she said, "oh, I thought that was a joke." AND their gift was $35.
LOL a free baby sit party with chicken nuggets, so mom and dad have a day off. That's horrible.
Load More Replies...As far as I'm concerned, you can never have enough towels. I would be so grateful of I was given them. Always know where your towel is - Douglas Adams.
A towel is about the most useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Thank you, Roger, for reminding us all that the bride should be thankful for such a truly thoughtful gift. <3
Load More Replies..."You owe us for the party we threw for ourselves and invited you to." Gotcha. Weddings are friggin miserable.
Thats really sad way to think. When we were married I was just wanting my guests to have a wonderful time, anything else was gravy. Some gifts were small but I appreciated them just the same because it was the thought that counted and I knew they wished us well
Totally agree, a gift is a gift whatever it is, ungrateful.
Load More Replies...K Mart hasn't sold $5 towels for donkey's years so someone is exagerating.
Dollar store, then. Cheap towels are cheap towels, and a very thoughtless gift. Does it really matter where they came from?
Load More Replies...Where do all these idiotic snobs come from? What the hell did their parents do in their formative years beside shoveling money?
I don't think this is about the money. A towel from a cheap store is the height of a thoughtless "oh yeah I guess we have to bring something" present. As this comes from her best friend this is indeed very hurtful.
Load More Replies...My husband and I do not exchange any gifts because we were just too broke to afford them. So when the holidays come we tried telling people not to get us anything because we couldn't get anything for them in return. People don't listen and of course my husband's family got gifts and of course there were hard feelings. Been with my husband for 14 years and he is still broke so I always buy the Christmas presents. I buy his mother, father, step-mother, and sister one nice present each. I don't even buy my own family gifts or one for my husband because after 14 years of not stressing myself out over gift exchanges, I am just not willing to do it. Everyone in my family knows that for holidays or birthdays just bring over a bottle of wine and I will cook a nice dinner. I have just developed the philosophy that gifts are for children. As for adults, my sister can take the $100 bucks she was going to spend on me and buy herself what she actually wants and I can do the same.
I give presents to others, but I ask for donations to my favourite charities. I got tired of people spending money on gifts that they liked better than I did.
Load More Replies...What an entitled little........!!!! There's nothing wrong with "cheap" towels. One can find all kinds of uses for them with just a little thought, but that is apparently too difficult for this little twit who can't see passed the price tag . I just "retired" some cheap towels that I had received as wedding gifts - they're 49 YEARS OLD!!! Cheap doesn't mean they're not good or won't last.
Cheap towels half a century ago were far better quality than the crap produced in China today. My parents still have towels and blankets and kitchen tools from their wedding 60 years ago.
Load More Replies...What is wrong with some people? When my daughter was born (she's 3 now) a woman whom I'd never met who attended church with my mother sent a sweet it's a girl card and put $5 in it. In the card she apologized for only being able to afford $5 and wished she could have sent more. It was such a sweet gesture. I of course sent a thank you card for thinking of us and that the money went into my little girls piggy bank (it still in there). I was just so wowed that a stranger to me could be so kind to think of us, it will always be a happy memory & of course I still have the card in my daughter's memory box.
That's quite a bit different than your best friend throwing two cheap towels in a box and calling it a wedding gift.
Load More Replies...I think what's hanging me up is the cost of the towel. If they were complaining about getting a towel and how it feels like the giver didn't put any thought into it, I could see their point. But the inclusion of price of the towel and where it was purchased from gives me the sense that they were outraged by the money spent, not the gift itself. My feeling is that if they would have gotten a $300 towel (I'm sure they exist somewhere) bought from some "high fashion" designer, we wouldn't be reading about this right now. Gifts, to me, are an expression of regard for the people you give them to. I don't think these towels meet that. On the other hand the OP seems to be complaining that the admission price to their wedding wasn't met. So both parties are AH to me.
First off I would like to point out the word that should be highlighted here Gift. A gift is just that something someone does not have to give you. Before I go off on the bride or friend I need more context. Do you have thing in your registry that the friend could have bought if they were strapped for cash? Just because you made you wedding all inclusive does not mean anyone attending owes you an elaborate gift. It should be about spending time with your friends and not about how much they spent.
I can't even with some people. I am getting married soon and happen to love towels. Idgaf if they're from the dollar store if they're soft and work. WHO cares???????
I will take $10 towels over a friend telling me over a pedicure "I almost didnt go as my husband wasn't coming" after she hastily handed me a crumbled check/envelope saying she didnt remember (she had months) until that day and didnt have time to get me anything. It didnt matter to me if she just gave a check, nothing, or a gift. But to act like it was an inconvenience and last minute, and to tell me she almost didnt go. 3 coworkers of like 10 came, and one made my cake so maybe felt obliged, lol. Family didn't come out (not local but all have a lot of money and it was summer, so they could have, but aunt across the globe came. Only family on mom's side) and the 2-3 other friends invited backed out because husbands needed tending to. Husband couldnt take care of his aching tooth...one had a cold or something. Guestbook had about 1 page filled, guests left an hour or two early (daytime wedding, not long like 3 hours) to get home by sundown. Etc. Etc. So, yes, I will take $10 towels.
Wow. My ex didn't want to go to the marriage of an old schoolfriend. Her husband had hundreds of friends and family members. She had her mother, brother, another friend from high school and me. She came alone too. So glad we went.
Load More Replies...Maybe the bride was a complete bridezilla and this was a "f**k you" present.
Yes, she’s my “best friend”. But I whine about her gift online instead of actually letting her know it hurt my feelings a bit and asking what was up with that.
She isn't wrong. That is a crap present. A homemade gift made with love and with the interests of the couple in mind would have been much nicer if money is an issue. There is nothing thoughtful about two cheap towels. I'd be hurt by that, too.
Regardless of the value, giving a bunch of towels as a wedding gift is just really lazy. If you are broke, just MAKE something nice for them.
If you want a "perfect wedding" have a private ceremony with no more than 10 guests. Otherwise there WILL be craziness and chaos, just go with the flow and enjoy your day as much as possible! When I got married we didn't even ask for gifts, I just wanted to party with the people we love
All towel arguments aside... if this was her "best friend" why wasn't she/he in the wedding party?
I don't think this is an entitled bride or that it is about 10 dollars. This is a dissapointed woman, because her best friends literally put no thought nor care into a gift for a very special event. Even if those friends are dirt poor or crippled with debt that nobody knows about - a thoughtful gift doesn't have cost a lot or anything at all, there are suggestions in the NTA section. Heck, even spending the money on a book from their favourite author or favourite sweets with a lovely note would have been a lot better. But two cheap towels from kmart scream middle finger & 'we don't give f***s all about my best friends wedding'. I think she gets the heat because she mentioned how lavish the wedding was and while of course wedding & gifts are not a quit pro quo situation, I would honour the effort and money my friend put into a wedding with a more lavish gift (if I can afford it).
You should be glad they came to celebrate your "special" day... even if they didn't bring anything (not that I would do such thing personally).
Not if it includes paying for hotel rooms for example.
Load More Replies...Someone said the were upset over a "cake plate". Is that one of those fancy plate on a stick things? My cake goes in a washed 2L ice cream container and it still tastes good. Pscht cake plate. Thus endeth today's rant
As far as I understood, it wasn’t about the cake plate itself but about the fact that the price tag was still on it.
Load More Replies...At my brother's wedding I was just recovering from a surgery I had just 1 week before (due to which I found out of a serious condition I have), had almost no money due to a crappy job and badly chosen relationship and also arrived late to the ceremony, due to 2 accidents on a (normally) 7 hour long drive, but was proud of my bro and was happy for him, but also felt super ashamed that I couldn't give him anything but my best wishes and the explanation what just happened in the months prior..he didn't even ask me how I was feeling, but heard afterwards from someone, that he complained how he can't understand how his family "wasn't prepared for this since they knew this for more than a year". My parents could barely scrape something together too at that time. It doesn't matter for how long you've known about the upcoming event, sometimes life has other plans for you. A wedding (in my opinion) is to celebrate with peple you wish to share your happiness with. My wedding, my treat!
I had some people give us really inexpensive gifts and it didn't bother me. Except for my cousin who less than two years earlier had a wedding that was not very fancy but had a very expensive registry. I just though it reflected poorly on her in my mind that she expected such expensive gifts for herself but went cheap when giving (and no it was not a special heart felt gift either that she gave and financially she's stable).
Missing context aside- weddings are meant to be celebrations of a couple's love & commitment to each other. Not for expensive gifts. If gifts are the priority to a couple, I'd question their character. Also, Australia HAS been having on/off lockdowns in areas. The bride should be grateful to even be having a wedding. Regarding context either all of the post wasn't shared here, or the bride left something out. Her use of the terms "all inclusive" & "guest centered" make it seem she was already defensive & trying to justify herself. That is suspicious enough to me to believe she knows she is in the wrong.
I like to think that receiving a cheap gift is a commentary from the giver . . . that these people are way over their limit for passing judgement and guilt on everybody. And knowing just about every couple getting married have enough stuff in their life to have a life (towels, coffee pot, car, personal items) how can they expect someone would know what they want. The Happy Couple is lucky ANYONE wants to attend a wedding in this day and age -- for the incredible inconvenience of me giving up one of my days to suit someone else's life (who probably hasn't included me in anything else that could have been fun) they are lucky that anyone outside of their family even picks up a phone call from them -- GET OVER YOURSELVES!
When she drops a plate of lasagna in her face plopping down on the couch and those rags are the only ones she has that are clean. Then she will be grateful.
And you know something. You should be grateful for being so lucky. When I get anything I'm always grateful. I don't question it.
Load More Replies...Gifts aren't disappointing... & you usually can take them back if you don't like them. Bed Bath & Beyond is the best for that. We ended up taking back stuff we had on our registry & discovered we really didn't need, to get stuff we really did need. The disappointing thing was, however, how many people said they were coming to our wedding that didn't. I was crushed. I had a huge church family, & invited everyone. I told some friends that our budget was very tight, but that they were definitely invited. I made a facebook event to make sure people knew. So many people replied they were coming that didn't. One lady I looked up to who could sing beautifully told me she couldn't sing at my wedding because her family usually goes to their beach house on the weekends during the summer. I just felt like I wasn't worth anything. So taking the time to show up and give something means more than anything else. Learned who my real friends were that day, & changed churches shortly after.
When I got married I didn't care about gifts at all. 🤷♀️ wasn't aspecting anything but got few gifts anyways.
Hand towels are super useful. I dry my hands after every time I wash them! Way more useful than the fancy candle holder I got that's too big for me to put anywhere and completely impractical now that I have small children and pets. Absolutely gift me something practical. I will think of you fondly every time I use it. Meanwhile I pull out that candle holder once a year when my MIL visits.
If someone came for a wedding with that, I would take them aside and ask if they were OK, and if not, if there is anything I would do to help. A wedding is not there to milk your friends - it's to celebrate your event, and some people, simply can not say no, but still can not afford more. I for one would be concerned about my friends wellbeing..
The best friends husband told the best friend to get the towels. Bet your bottom dollar. He probably didn't want to spend on them.
Sometimes people have a lot to deal with in their lives and aren’t able to think up and write meaningful cards etc or come up with really heart felt gifts. They whole family may have had to buy new outfits, go to hairdressers etc There are hidden costs to being a wedding guest. The bride should be grateful that they attended the wedding. You shouldn’t plan a wedding, even a fancy “exclusive” wedding (whatever that.means) with unrealistic or unfair expectations on your guests.
How did the bride know how much the towels cost and where they were bought?
Was the “best friend” not a member of the wedding party? If yes, then they probably spent a lot more than the wrapped gift on the event. If not part of the wedding party, I can imagine how “hurt” they were not being asked to play a major role. The “gift” may have been a reflection of them feeling disrespected.
Here’s how to deal with it. Be grateful your super poor friends were able to afford you anything at all. Be grateful and then get your head out of the wealthy is tied to I am a better person so I deserve better things bs. Maybe learn more about your best friends struggles. So shallow SMH
I don't know these people but the lack of thought of a gift if alarming. They might not have much money, but there's always time to save £2 a month prior to wedding etc. But I guess having an outfit for the family, travel costs , hotel stays etc costs tot up. If budgets were that tight a 'friend' would know. On the other hand though you don't need a gift, you invited these people watch you marry the person that you love you invited them to share in that and don't expect anything if them.
Its apparently supposed to be the happiest day of your life cause you get to marry the person you love. #effinbitch
Was it someone related to my foster family in Brisbane? I just arrived from the plane after a 24h plane trip around the world and they took me directly to their golf club house to show me how wealthy they were. LOL i just smiled politely while thinking about the vulgarity of this move. I would have preferred to visit an inflatable mattress, or a hamoc, or even the Australian soil to nap. The day after the daughter had to take me to show me her private school..., i'm amazed that they didn't offered to show me their bank accounts too, so i could see the real Australian way of life lol Exactly what i wanted to discover about a foreign country on the other side of the earth. "What did you discover in Australia?" "They have fancy private schools and golf clubs too! Could you imagine?!".
Actually i think that too. It's not about the money, but a matter of respect. The context is missing in that story though. Maybe the best friend is super poor. But since it's her best friend you'd expect her to give more thought to the gift. If she/he didn't have the money, why didn't they gift a selfmade photobook or something with emotional value.
Load More Replies...I think we really need more context. If the best friend is swimming in money and put no thought & effort into the gift because they don’t care, then I can understand the bride. If the friend is poor and wanted to buy SOMETHING at least, then that’s an entirely different situation.
Presentation can help. Years back, my boyfriend couldn't be bothered to buy gifts for his cousin's wedding, so I took care of it. The towels on their gift registry were too expensive for my wee budget, so I bought cheaper ones that were similar, along with candles in the same colour and a card with two cheetahs grooming each other. The cousin and wife wrote me that they lit the candles while having a bath together. Totally sweet and both keepers, married for life.
Load More Replies...If my best friend gave me two random $5 towels, I'd ask if they were OK?
Agreed. I'd be also grateful, b/c you can always use towels. A crystal vase, that breaks. Towels, those last!
Load More Replies...As a broke student, I once bought a garlic presser from the wedding register and decorated the package with a Darth Maul miniature that was actually a bottle of shower gel. As the couple were huge Star Wars nerds, they absolutely loved it.
Proving the adage that "it's the thought that counts."
Load More Replies...I have to give my 2 cents here. When I married the first time, it was an adult only, black tie reception (it stated so on both the response cards and the invite). We were very specific on the invitation envelopes - Mr. & Mrs. Joe Smith or Mr. Joe Smith & Guest - NOT Joe Smith and family. My husband's cousin's response card, whose invite was for Mr. & Mrs. Joe Smith, came back for 7 people and a note that they couldn't make it, but were sending their 5 children with the wife's aunt instead. And all the children were under the age of 12. An there was a note that their kids wouldn't eat what we were offering and couldn't they have chicken nuggets instead of steak or fish? A few weeks after the wedding, she called me to complain that her kids had a horrible time a there were no activities for her children. I reiterated the "adult only" on the invite and she said, "oh, I thought that was a joke." AND their gift was $35.
LOL a free baby sit party with chicken nuggets, so mom and dad have a day off. That's horrible.
Load More Replies...As far as I'm concerned, you can never have enough towels. I would be so grateful of I was given them. Always know where your towel is - Douglas Adams.
A towel is about the most useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Thank you, Roger, for reminding us all that the bride should be thankful for such a truly thoughtful gift. <3
Load More Replies..."You owe us for the party we threw for ourselves and invited you to." Gotcha. Weddings are friggin miserable.
Thats really sad way to think. When we were married I was just wanting my guests to have a wonderful time, anything else was gravy. Some gifts were small but I appreciated them just the same because it was the thought that counted and I knew they wished us well
Totally agree, a gift is a gift whatever it is, ungrateful.
Load More Replies...K Mart hasn't sold $5 towels for donkey's years so someone is exagerating.
Dollar store, then. Cheap towels are cheap towels, and a very thoughtless gift. Does it really matter where they came from?
Load More Replies...Where do all these idiotic snobs come from? What the hell did their parents do in their formative years beside shoveling money?
I don't think this is about the money. A towel from a cheap store is the height of a thoughtless "oh yeah I guess we have to bring something" present. As this comes from her best friend this is indeed very hurtful.
Load More Replies...My husband and I do not exchange any gifts because we were just too broke to afford them. So when the holidays come we tried telling people not to get us anything because we couldn't get anything for them in return. People don't listen and of course my husband's family got gifts and of course there were hard feelings. Been with my husband for 14 years and he is still broke so I always buy the Christmas presents. I buy his mother, father, step-mother, and sister one nice present each. I don't even buy my own family gifts or one for my husband because after 14 years of not stressing myself out over gift exchanges, I am just not willing to do it. Everyone in my family knows that for holidays or birthdays just bring over a bottle of wine and I will cook a nice dinner. I have just developed the philosophy that gifts are for children. As for adults, my sister can take the $100 bucks she was going to spend on me and buy herself what she actually wants and I can do the same.
I give presents to others, but I ask for donations to my favourite charities. I got tired of people spending money on gifts that they liked better than I did.
Load More Replies...What an entitled little........!!!! There's nothing wrong with "cheap" towels. One can find all kinds of uses for them with just a little thought, but that is apparently too difficult for this little twit who can't see passed the price tag . I just "retired" some cheap towels that I had received as wedding gifts - they're 49 YEARS OLD!!! Cheap doesn't mean they're not good or won't last.
Cheap towels half a century ago were far better quality than the crap produced in China today. My parents still have towels and blankets and kitchen tools from their wedding 60 years ago.
Load More Replies...What is wrong with some people? When my daughter was born (she's 3 now) a woman whom I'd never met who attended church with my mother sent a sweet it's a girl card and put $5 in it. In the card she apologized for only being able to afford $5 and wished she could have sent more. It was such a sweet gesture. I of course sent a thank you card for thinking of us and that the money went into my little girls piggy bank (it still in there). I was just so wowed that a stranger to me could be so kind to think of us, it will always be a happy memory & of course I still have the card in my daughter's memory box.
That's quite a bit different than your best friend throwing two cheap towels in a box and calling it a wedding gift.
Load More Replies...I think what's hanging me up is the cost of the towel. If they were complaining about getting a towel and how it feels like the giver didn't put any thought into it, I could see their point. But the inclusion of price of the towel and where it was purchased from gives me the sense that they were outraged by the money spent, not the gift itself. My feeling is that if they would have gotten a $300 towel (I'm sure they exist somewhere) bought from some "high fashion" designer, we wouldn't be reading about this right now. Gifts, to me, are an expression of regard for the people you give them to. I don't think these towels meet that. On the other hand the OP seems to be complaining that the admission price to their wedding wasn't met. So both parties are AH to me.
First off I would like to point out the word that should be highlighted here Gift. A gift is just that something someone does not have to give you. Before I go off on the bride or friend I need more context. Do you have thing in your registry that the friend could have bought if they were strapped for cash? Just because you made you wedding all inclusive does not mean anyone attending owes you an elaborate gift. It should be about spending time with your friends and not about how much they spent.
I can't even with some people. I am getting married soon and happen to love towels. Idgaf if they're from the dollar store if they're soft and work. WHO cares???????
I will take $10 towels over a friend telling me over a pedicure "I almost didnt go as my husband wasn't coming" after she hastily handed me a crumbled check/envelope saying she didnt remember (she had months) until that day and didnt have time to get me anything. It didnt matter to me if she just gave a check, nothing, or a gift. But to act like it was an inconvenience and last minute, and to tell me she almost didnt go. 3 coworkers of like 10 came, and one made my cake so maybe felt obliged, lol. Family didn't come out (not local but all have a lot of money and it was summer, so they could have, but aunt across the globe came. Only family on mom's side) and the 2-3 other friends invited backed out because husbands needed tending to. Husband couldnt take care of his aching tooth...one had a cold or something. Guestbook had about 1 page filled, guests left an hour or two early (daytime wedding, not long like 3 hours) to get home by sundown. Etc. Etc. So, yes, I will take $10 towels.
Wow. My ex didn't want to go to the marriage of an old schoolfriend. Her husband had hundreds of friends and family members. She had her mother, brother, another friend from high school and me. She came alone too. So glad we went.
Load More Replies...Maybe the bride was a complete bridezilla and this was a "f**k you" present.
Yes, she’s my “best friend”. But I whine about her gift online instead of actually letting her know it hurt my feelings a bit and asking what was up with that.
She isn't wrong. That is a crap present. A homemade gift made with love and with the interests of the couple in mind would have been much nicer if money is an issue. There is nothing thoughtful about two cheap towels. I'd be hurt by that, too.
Regardless of the value, giving a bunch of towels as a wedding gift is just really lazy. If you are broke, just MAKE something nice for them.
If you want a "perfect wedding" have a private ceremony with no more than 10 guests. Otherwise there WILL be craziness and chaos, just go with the flow and enjoy your day as much as possible! When I got married we didn't even ask for gifts, I just wanted to party with the people we love
All towel arguments aside... if this was her "best friend" why wasn't she/he in the wedding party?
I don't think this is an entitled bride or that it is about 10 dollars. This is a dissapointed woman, because her best friends literally put no thought nor care into a gift for a very special event. Even if those friends are dirt poor or crippled with debt that nobody knows about - a thoughtful gift doesn't have cost a lot or anything at all, there are suggestions in the NTA section. Heck, even spending the money on a book from their favourite author or favourite sweets with a lovely note would have been a lot better. But two cheap towels from kmart scream middle finger & 'we don't give f***s all about my best friends wedding'. I think she gets the heat because she mentioned how lavish the wedding was and while of course wedding & gifts are not a quit pro quo situation, I would honour the effort and money my friend put into a wedding with a more lavish gift (if I can afford it).
You should be glad they came to celebrate your "special" day... even if they didn't bring anything (not that I would do such thing personally).
Not if it includes paying for hotel rooms for example.
Load More Replies...Someone said the were upset over a "cake plate". Is that one of those fancy plate on a stick things? My cake goes in a washed 2L ice cream container and it still tastes good. Pscht cake plate. Thus endeth today's rant
As far as I understood, it wasn’t about the cake plate itself but about the fact that the price tag was still on it.
Load More Replies...At my brother's wedding I was just recovering from a surgery I had just 1 week before (due to which I found out of a serious condition I have), had almost no money due to a crappy job and badly chosen relationship and also arrived late to the ceremony, due to 2 accidents on a (normally) 7 hour long drive, but was proud of my bro and was happy for him, but also felt super ashamed that I couldn't give him anything but my best wishes and the explanation what just happened in the months prior..he didn't even ask me how I was feeling, but heard afterwards from someone, that he complained how he can't understand how his family "wasn't prepared for this since they knew this for more than a year". My parents could barely scrape something together too at that time. It doesn't matter for how long you've known about the upcoming event, sometimes life has other plans for you. A wedding (in my opinion) is to celebrate with peple you wish to share your happiness with. My wedding, my treat!
I had some people give us really inexpensive gifts and it didn't bother me. Except for my cousin who less than two years earlier had a wedding that was not very fancy but had a very expensive registry. I just though it reflected poorly on her in my mind that she expected such expensive gifts for herself but went cheap when giving (and no it was not a special heart felt gift either that she gave and financially she's stable).
Missing context aside- weddings are meant to be celebrations of a couple's love & commitment to each other. Not for expensive gifts. If gifts are the priority to a couple, I'd question their character. Also, Australia HAS been having on/off lockdowns in areas. The bride should be grateful to even be having a wedding. Regarding context either all of the post wasn't shared here, or the bride left something out. Her use of the terms "all inclusive" & "guest centered" make it seem she was already defensive & trying to justify herself. That is suspicious enough to me to believe she knows she is in the wrong.
I like to think that receiving a cheap gift is a commentary from the giver . . . that these people are way over their limit for passing judgement and guilt on everybody. And knowing just about every couple getting married have enough stuff in their life to have a life (towels, coffee pot, car, personal items) how can they expect someone would know what they want. The Happy Couple is lucky ANYONE wants to attend a wedding in this day and age -- for the incredible inconvenience of me giving up one of my days to suit someone else's life (who probably hasn't included me in anything else that could have been fun) they are lucky that anyone outside of their family even picks up a phone call from them -- GET OVER YOURSELVES!
When she drops a plate of lasagna in her face plopping down on the couch and those rags are the only ones she has that are clean. Then she will be grateful.
And you know something. You should be grateful for being so lucky. When I get anything I'm always grateful. I don't question it.
Load More Replies...Gifts aren't disappointing... & you usually can take them back if you don't like them. Bed Bath & Beyond is the best for that. We ended up taking back stuff we had on our registry & discovered we really didn't need, to get stuff we really did need. The disappointing thing was, however, how many people said they were coming to our wedding that didn't. I was crushed. I had a huge church family, & invited everyone. I told some friends that our budget was very tight, but that they were definitely invited. I made a facebook event to make sure people knew. So many people replied they were coming that didn't. One lady I looked up to who could sing beautifully told me she couldn't sing at my wedding because her family usually goes to their beach house on the weekends during the summer. I just felt like I wasn't worth anything. So taking the time to show up and give something means more than anything else. Learned who my real friends were that day, & changed churches shortly after.
When I got married I didn't care about gifts at all. 🤷♀️ wasn't aspecting anything but got few gifts anyways.
Hand towels are super useful. I dry my hands after every time I wash them! Way more useful than the fancy candle holder I got that's too big for me to put anywhere and completely impractical now that I have small children and pets. Absolutely gift me something practical. I will think of you fondly every time I use it. Meanwhile I pull out that candle holder once a year when my MIL visits.
If someone came for a wedding with that, I would take them aside and ask if they were OK, and if not, if there is anything I would do to help. A wedding is not there to milk your friends - it's to celebrate your event, and some people, simply can not say no, but still can not afford more. I for one would be concerned about my friends wellbeing..
The best friends husband told the best friend to get the towels. Bet your bottom dollar. He probably didn't want to spend on them.
Sometimes people have a lot to deal with in their lives and aren’t able to think up and write meaningful cards etc or come up with really heart felt gifts. They whole family may have had to buy new outfits, go to hairdressers etc There are hidden costs to being a wedding guest. The bride should be grateful that they attended the wedding. You shouldn’t plan a wedding, even a fancy “exclusive” wedding (whatever that.means) with unrealistic or unfair expectations on your guests.
How did the bride know how much the towels cost and where they were bought?
Was the “best friend” not a member of the wedding party? If yes, then they probably spent a lot more than the wrapped gift on the event. If not part of the wedding party, I can imagine how “hurt” they were not being asked to play a major role. The “gift” may have been a reflection of them feeling disrespected.
Here’s how to deal with it. Be grateful your super poor friends were able to afford you anything at all. Be grateful and then get your head out of the wealthy is tied to I am a better person so I deserve better things bs. Maybe learn more about your best friends struggles. So shallow SMH
I don't know these people but the lack of thought of a gift if alarming. They might not have much money, but there's always time to save £2 a month prior to wedding etc. But I guess having an outfit for the family, travel costs , hotel stays etc costs tot up. If budgets were that tight a 'friend' would know. On the other hand though you don't need a gift, you invited these people watch you marry the person that you love you invited them to share in that and don't expect anything if them.
Its apparently supposed to be the happiest day of your life cause you get to marry the person you love. #effinbitch
Was it someone related to my foster family in Brisbane? I just arrived from the plane after a 24h plane trip around the world and they took me directly to their golf club house to show me how wealthy they were. LOL i just smiled politely while thinking about the vulgarity of this move. I would have preferred to visit an inflatable mattress, or a hamoc, or even the Australian soil to nap. The day after the daughter had to take me to show me her private school..., i'm amazed that they didn't offered to show me their bank accounts too, so i could see the real Australian way of life lol Exactly what i wanted to discover about a foreign country on the other side of the earth. "What did you discover in Australia?" "They have fancy private schools and golf clubs too! Could you imagine?!".
Actually i think that too. It's not about the money, but a matter of respect. The context is missing in that story though. Maybe the best friend is super poor. But since it's her best friend you'd expect her to give more thought to the gift. If she/he didn't have the money, why didn't they gift a selfmade photobook or something with emotional value.
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