“It Would Be Genuinely Embarrassing For Me To Wear The Dress”: Bride Livid After Bridesmaid Drops Out Because Of The Dress
Bridesmaid dresses are notorious for being unflattering and ugly. We smile politely and tell the bride, “Wow! I love it!” But on the inside, we usually know that we’re just wearing it to appease our friend. We’re lucky if we can get one more use out of the dress for another event in the future, but more often than not, they are swiftly discarded at thrift stores or sold online the morning after the wedding. But the most important dress of the occasion is the bride’s gown anyway, so there should be a bit of wiggle room when it comes to what the bridesmaids wear. As long as they are all comfortable, look lovely and do not need to break the bank paying for their dresses, the bride should be satisfied. After all, they are supposed to be her closest and most cherished friends, so they should get to enjoy her day as well.
Unfortunately for one bridesmaid, her soon-to-be married friend has made it clear she is much more concerned about appearances than keeping everyone happy. Last week, PhysicsVast9133 on Reddit shared the story of how she had to drop out of a close friend’s wedding party after the bride was too stubborn to bend on the bridesmaid dress situation.
Below, you will find the full explanation where the bridesmaid asks if she did anything wrong, many of the responses the post has received from sympathetic readers, and an interview with Jessica Bishop, founder of The Budget Savvy Bride. Let us know in the comments what you think about all of this, and if you’re ever been involved in bridesmaid dress drama, we’d love to hear your stories as well. Then if you’re interested in another Bored Panda article featuring wedding day drama, check out this story next.
After expressing discomfort about the dress choice, this bridesmaid is wondering if she was wrong for dropping out of her friend’s wedding
Image credits: George Milton (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PhysicsVast9133
The bridesmaid even provided a photo of the dress
Image credits: beta.davidsbridal.com
It is understandable for a bride to become stressed out and get caught up in all of the details as her big day is approaching. But of all the things to cause a fuss over, the bridesmaid dresses do not seem like the most important detail. What should be paramount is that all of your friends and family members are gathered together in one place, and you all get to celebrate your love for your partner for one wonderful day.
To gain some insight on this topic from an expert, we reached out to Jessica Bishop, founder of The Budget Savvy Bride. First, we asked her if it is important for bridesmaids to be comfortable in their dresses. “Everyone deserves to wear something they feel comfortable in, especially when they’re expected to be on full display in a wedding ceremony,” Jessica told Bored Panda. “To keep your bridesmaids happy, make sure each person feels good in the style they will be wearing on the big day.”
We also asked if one possible solution for this situation would have been allowing the bridesmaids to choose their own dresses. “A great option for everyone is for the bride to choose a particular color from a dress company and let each bridesmaid choose the style she would like to wear,” Jessica shared. “The group will look unified since they are all wearing the same color, but each dress can be different to accommodate each woman’s personal style.”
She then responded to some of the comments from readers, providing more insight into the situation
Finally, we asked Jessica if it’s the responsibility of the bridesmaids to wear whatever the bride chooses or if it is the bride’s responsibility to ensure they are all comfortable. “These matters can be a delicate balance of preferences and politeness,” Jessica told Bored Panda. “Standing beside a friend on her wedding day is an honor and a privilege, but it also often comes at a cost of both time and money. The last thing a bride wants is to have a bitter bridesmaid who feels forced to spend money on an overpriced dress she doesn’t even feel comfortable in.”
“These girls are your friends, not hired help, so it’s best to make their presence and participation feel appreciated,” Jessica explained. “One easy way to show your gratitude and keep your bridal squad happy is by offering them freedom of choice regarding their attire. By opting for the mismatched look, each bridesmaid gets to wear a style she feels comfortable in without sacrificing the bride’s vision. It’s a perfect compromise where everyone wins!”
Though there are a variety of reasons a bride may allow her wedding party to pick their own dresses, the most important one in reference to this story is to be sure that the bridesmaids feel comfortable and confident. If you’ve ever worn a dress, or any article of clothing for that matter, that is too tight for you or just doesn’t feel right, it can be an extremely frustrating experience. The bridesmaid even mentioned in a comment that she is currently working through an eating disorder and in therapy to help get better. That is a very difficult situation to be in, and her friends should be supportive and sympathetic.
At a wedding, you want to enjoy the evening, dance your heart out and eat the delicious dinner and cake. The last thing anyone wants to be worried about is how their dress fits and whether or not it is flattering. As many of the commenters assured this bridesmaid, if her friend really cared about her, she would not have to choose between wearing a dress that she would hate or being a part of her friend’s special day.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below. If you’ve ever been a bride, what rules did you set for your bridesmaids in terms of what they had to wear? And if you’ve ever been a bridesmaid, feel free to let us know how your dress was chosen as well. Sadly, these friends might be unable to resolve this situation prior to the wedding, but if that’s the case, at least this bridesmaid has now seen her friend’s true colors.
Commenters have overwhelmingly sided with the bridesmaid, reassuring her that the bride should have handled the situation very differently
Bride: "You embarrassed me in the group chat." No, you embarrassed yourself by being an unsympathetic, entitled, self-absorbed twat.
Agreed. She was embarrassed because someone actually questioned her "vision" of what the wedding should be.
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This is why I said to my bridesmaids ‘Hey, I’m wearing X colour. Just show up in something that vaguely goes with it’. Because I had a disabled bridesmaid, a short skinny bridesmaid, a very large bridesmaid and there was no way a single style of dress was gonna work. I’ve turned down being a bridesmaid because the dress was a strapless tight number and my fat backside would fall out of it. And the bride demanded I lose weight and cover up my tattoos so…no.
For my wedding I asked my bridesmaids to wear red or burgundy, at least knee length. They put their own twist on it and it was great! My friend asked for a specific shade of blue, I found the dress second hand for £10! So much easier, and less drama, when you're more flexible. Also that means that people can wear the clothes again.
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Accidentally created a similar situation to this for my own wedding, & a bridesmaid told me bluntly what i was picking would not suit her. Felt terrible! In the end encouraged each friend to pick a dress under a broad theme in a different colour each, so they felt good in them, then gave them the ££ after. What is this brides problem making everyone have to be identical !? This person is a rubbish friend and an idiot - definitely NTA!!!
I've done this. I was asked to be a bridesmaid by a 19-year-old bride. At the time, I was in my late 30s and obese, self-conscious, depressed, etc. I backed out and it turned out the other bridesmaids were also tiny teenagers who wore strapless, form fitting dresses. I think I did the right thing. I ended up being the cake cutter, so I was still involved.
I'd say you did the right thing. You being miserable isn't good for anyone involved. Cutting the cake also seems like much more fun anyway. :) Hope you're feeling better now!
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If the dresses are being bought at David's Bridal, they literally have 85 different dress styles all in the exact same color. Why not choose the color, then let your wedding party choose the style that flatters them?
Yes! That’s where my bridal party and I went for it all (bridesmaids dresses and my gown). They all picked the same gorgeous, satin-y, “pink champagne” colored dress with flowy sleeves that flatters all of their figures and sizes. Their dresses have POCKETS for godssakes, too! Goes gorgeously with my ivory/champagne colored gown, and best of all we all had so much fun!!
Load More Replies... I’m getting married in March and brought my bridal party with me to pick and choose a bridesmaids dress while I picked my wedding gown. One of them, my best friend, is overweight. Although it’s “my” day, what fun is it going to be if my bridesmaids are unhappy or uncomfortable (IMO). Anyway we all had a blast dress shopping together, and they picked a dress they all love in the color scheme of the wedding. We celebrated by going out to dinner and a champagne toast afterward. Win-win!
If you are a close enough friend to be asked to be a bridesmaid then all the bride should want is for you to celebrate the day with her. And you can't do that if you're uncomfortable. Please can we go back to the days of small intimate weddings with close family and friends and BFFs as bridemaids and ushers, not extravagant affairs where it's only about the venue, decorations and food. Love is intimate, it's special and deserves to be the only requirement at a wedding.
If the bride is embarrassed with a limited audience (group chat) finding out she is requesting OP wear some skin tight dress which is going to be both physically and mentally uncomfortable, imagine how embarrassed she would have been on the day if her guests see one of the bridesmaids in something unflattering (OP's words) and uncomfortable because the bride insisted it had to be worn and the bridesmaid couldn't stand down. Because even if the bridesmaid didn't say something, if someone is not comfortable in clothing it usually shows in their face or posture, even if it doesn't show in the physical fit of the clothes.
This one is really too bad. A good seamstress could take one of these dresses in a size or two larger and alter it to gently follow your curves making it comfortable to wear and very flattering without actually changing the style- to the point of even possibly making the other BMs a little jealous. My sister does these kinds of things. My DIL has uneven shoulders do to scholiosis, so she used shoulder pads in such a way as to give the illusion that DIL's shoulders were more even. She has done wonders with all kinds of body types.
So many weddings are just too over the top. Since horrible bridesmaid dresses are the norm, why don't brides go the route of just choosing a color and let the attendants choose their own dress. I've been stuffed into a frilly piece of nonsense next to the other bridesmaids - all much younger than me. I still have nightmares.
I didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen for my wedding, but if I did I would have just said to wear whatever pretty dress they think would be a good bridesmaid dress, and bonus if it's something they already own. Why sweat the small stuff?
When I got married 2.5 years ago in my yard with 9 people 04/25/2020. We had to reschedule the big wedding to 09/19/2020. I had only a matrain of honor I knew the best man and groom would be in blue and my boys would be in burgundy. I let moh wear a dress she had worn at her son's wedding it was perfect color and a wonderful match to my dress. She offered to buy another dress of my choosing if I wanted a different style. I told her I always loved her dress and would be honored for her to wear it. So no you were not an ahole, we wanted our wedding to be special for everyone because it was the 2nd wedding aka party and at that time everyone just wanted to be around each other. I feel wedding are not just about the bride and groom it's about having the people you love celebrating with them.
Don't even attend the wedding. All the "About me" stuff among weddings is just offputting, generally, and being made uncomfortable, knowingly, depicts her as a selfish person, who does the entire "About me" just because. "It's about you, is it still if you're alone? Not only, and not even close to - the wedding being just she, herself and her, the entire wedding ridded of all those complainers and cry performance artists, ain't tjat just the about-she-est thing to think of? Also - not showing any sympathy, respect or aimery for a solution that everybody is at least not unhappy with, again, shows what kind of person she is.
Yeah... She handled that as mature as possible. That bride is definitely the AH. My wedding, I took my bridesmaids to the shop and we picked out things together. I specified color, they picked style (with my input). We had two different styles of dresses and guess what?? No one cared! Also, I wanted each side to be equal, so I had my eldest brother on my side (I have no sisters, just 5 bros). I almost had him wear a dress, but couldn't let him steal the show! (He totally would've worn it for me 🤣).
You're both grown adults. You have no obligation to go anywhere or wear anything. Do it or don't do it but only because it's what you want to do. If that's upsets your friend then maybe she's not a very good friend.
Be glad you are not marrying the bride who has no idea of what it means to marry - -give yourself totally to the other. Inviting someone into your life means you are responsible for their ease and comfort. sacrifice for this is expected. Otherwise, do not invite them into your life. A good wife will make many, many sacrifices of herself to make others happy, most importantly her husband, AND VICE VERSA FOR HIM. Marriage from the moment of the engagement is a sacrifice done with love. Learn it or don't get married. A concerned man.
I feel like, if I had been one of the other bridesmaids, I'd have suggested we pick something else rather than make someone feel that uncomfortable, or tried to find something similar that would have been more comfortable. If it had been something low cut and she wasn't comfortable would they be saying the same thing?
I don't blame you a bit. I'm a bigger gal (mostly bust) and feel very uncomfortable in fitted clothing as well. I know what works on my body & what doesn't (also the fact that dress was poly and long sleeved meant you were probably going to sweat like crazy). We were picking out new uniform tops (white shirt/black pants or skirt) and they were really pushing for this fitted button up. Granted, I was much thinner, but no less busty. This one (skinny) girl was getting really heated over this stupid shirt and just couldn't understand why I was being so difficult about it. I just looked at her and wickedly said, "Maybe someday when you gets boobs you'll understand". We went with the v-neck polo shirts. (The manager was trying so hard not to laugh).
NTA: We had an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, we had one bridesmaid walk with 2 groomsmen. I asked in the beginning, what was their budgets? No need to break the bank. I requested that each lady pick the same color dress, but pick something that they would be comfortable in and fits their body type. Sizes "double 00 to 14". Had ring bearer and no flower girl. As a previous bride I get it's our day. However, we can show our appreciation for the supporters that's donating their time and money to make you happy by making sure they're comfortable and look/feel good. Nope, didn't break the bank but we're still getting compliments on how beautiful our day was and how they could feel the love. We focused on celebrating love, family, and close friends. None of that traditional stuff. Was married 2021. It was more important to have my girls then how alike the dresses were. This would not be an issue to a real friend. My ladies looked nice and cohesive.
Bridesmaid dresses are a nightmare, usually, for larger people. This was 20 years ago, and I was a smaller size than I am now, when we went to the bridal place with a guy's name. No vanity sizing there! Our choices were quite limited, 3 styles I believe were above a 16. And the 16 fit my size 12 friend. I myself had to get an embarrassingly high numbered size that was 8 numbers higher than my actual dress size, (that's 4 sizes larger because they count in 2's after size 10), and I still had to get it altered larger! That's my long way of saying that OP probably couldn't even get the size she needed. You don't have to be that large to not be able to fit into some of those dresses they offer.
NTA, you did the right thing. Not identical, but my brother married a girl with a family of doctors and lawyers. His family is working poor/poor. I literally couldn't afford a single thing in her registry (mine was at Walmart!). Then they hinted around at me being a bridesmaid. NO. Vera W**g, royal Dalton, bridal showers, dinners, breakfasts, gifts, hotel rooms. "but none of his family is represented." You're right, they're not.
tbf that dress is pretty ugly so even if it wasnt a comfort issue i still wouldnt blame her for not wanting to wear it, it looks like an old woman dress lol
I'm leaning YTA since she didn't even try it on. The fit is normal, not body-con tight like I was expecting and looks like that stretchy, fake-lace material. It looks like it has some asymmetrical rouching/gathering at the waist, to be flattering and hide any tummy, and the skirt flares as an A-line, to hide hips/ thighs, and the pattern also helps hide problem areas. The dress is available in her size, offers a bunch of coverage, doesn't require special undergarments, and a few stitches or safety pins would keep that slit closed to the knee. It is the safe vanilla ice cream of bridesmaid dresses. It rarely gets more accommodating than this. She just automatically assumed she'd be hideous, and I'm betting she would have said the same with any dress the bride chose. Probably even one she chose herself, because that would be a flashing "has a different dress because I'm fat!" and the LW is extremely self conscious. Her real issue is standing on display in front of everyone, which she's covering up by blaming the dress.
I had three bridesmaids with vastly different body types and complexions. I got all three of them in on choosing the dress, let them have whatever alterations they needed to be comfortable (tailoring, modesty panels, w/e), and let each one choose one of the three main flowers in my bouquet; each bridesmaid got a bouquet of the flower she chose, and wore a dress in that color. I personally think all three of them looked beautiful, and often joke that the best picture taken at my wedding was of my third bridesmaid - my little sister. But to me it was just as important that they feel happy and confident in their dresses.
When I got married, I had one plus size bridesmaid, one pregnant one, and a couple of skinny teenage girls. I just told them a color and approximate length and to pick something they were comfortable in. It mattered much more to me that they were there for me than to have them all perfectly ‘match.’
Just get a size that isn’t tight on you. It’s a nice dress. It only has to be skin tight if you buy a size too small.
You did not understand the problem here. It's not how it works. Be obese and then we'll talk.
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Bride: "You embarrassed me in the group chat." No, you embarrassed yourself by being an unsympathetic, entitled, self-absorbed twat.
Agreed. She was embarrassed because someone actually questioned her "vision" of what the wedding should be.
Load More Replies... This is why I said to my bridesmaids ‘Hey, I’m wearing X colour. Just show up in something that vaguely goes with it’. Because I had a disabled bridesmaid, a short skinny bridesmaid, a very large bridesmaid and there was no way a single style of dress was gonna work. I’ve turned down being a bridesmaid because the dress was a strapless tight number and my fat backside would fall out of it. And the bride demanded I lose weight and cover up my tattoos so…no.
For my wedding I asked my bridesmaids to wear red or burgundy, at least knee length. They put their own twist on it and it was great! My friend asked for a specific shade of blue, I found the dress second hand for £10! So much easier, and less drama, when you're more flexible. Also that means that people can wear the clothes again.
Load More Replies... Accidentally created a similar situation to this for my own wedding, & a bridesmaid told me bluntly what i was picking would not suit her. Felt terrible! In the end encouraged each friend to pick a dress under a broad theme in a different colour each, so they felt good in them, then gave them the ££ after. What is this brides problem making everyone have to be identical !? This person is a rubbish friend and an idiot - definitely NTA!!!
I've done this. I was asked to be a bridesmaid by a 19-year-old bride. At the time, I was in my late 30s and obese, self-conscious, depressed, etc. I backed out and it turned out the other bridesmaids were also tiny teenagers who wore strapless, form fitting dresses. I think I did the right thing. I ended up being the cake cutter, so I was still involved.
I'd say you did the right thing. You being miserable isn't good for anyone involved. Cutting the cake also seems like much more fun anyway. :) Hope you're feeling better now!
Load More Replies... If the dresses are being bought at David's Bridal, they literally have 85 different dress styles all in the exact same color. Why not choose the color, then let your wedding party choose the style that flatters them?
Yes! That’s where my bridal party and I went for it all (bridesmaids dresses and my gown). They all picked the same gorgeous, satin-y, “pink champagne” colored dress with flowy sleeves that flatters all of their figures and sizes. Their dresses have POCKETS for godssakes, too! Goes gorgeously with my ivory/champagne colored gown, and best of all we all had so much fun!!
Load More Replies... I’m getting married in March and brought my bridal party with me to pick and choose a bridesmaids dress while I picked my wedding gown. One of them, my best friend, is overweight. Although it’s “my” day, what fun is it going to be if my bridesmaids are unhappy or uncomfortable (IMO). Anyway we all had a blast dress shopping together, and they picked a dress they all love in the color scheme of the wedding. We celebrated by going out to dinner and a champagne toast afterward. Win-win!
If you are a close enough friend to be asked to be a bridesmaid then all the bride should want is for you to celebrate the day with her. And you can't do that if you're uncomfortable. Please can we go back to the days of small intimate weddings with close family and friends and BFFs as bridemaids and ushers, not extravagant affairs where it's only about the venue, decorations and food. Love is intimate, it's special and deserves to be the only requirement at a wedding.
If the bride is embarrassed with a limited audience (group chat) finding out she is requesting OP wear some skin tight dress which is going to be both physically and mentally uncomfortable, imagine how embarrassed she would have been on the day if her guests see one of the bridesmaids in something unflattering (OP's words) and uncomfortable because the bride insisted it had to be worn and the bridesmaid couldn't stand down. Because even if the bridesmaid didn't say something, if someone is not comfortable in clothing it usually shows in their face or posture, even if it doesn't show in the physical fit of the clothes.
This one is really too bad. A good seamstress could take one of these dresses in a size or two larger and alter it to gently follow your curves making it comfortable to wear and very flattering without actually changing the style- to the point of even possibly making the other BMs a little jealous. My sister does these kinds of things. My DIL has uneven shoulders do to scholiosis, so she used shoulder pads in such a way as to give the illusion that DIL's shoulders were more even. She has done wonders with all kinds of body types.
So many weddings are just too over the top. Since horrible bridesmaid dresses are the norm, why don't brides go the route of just choosing a color and let the attendants choose their own dress. I've been stuffed into a frilly piece of nonsense next to the other bridesmaids - all much younger than me. I still have nightmares.
I didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen for my wedding, but if I did I would have just said to wear whatever pretty dress they think would be a good bridesmaid dress, and bonus if it's something they already own. Why sweat the small stuff?
When I got married 2.5 years ago in my yard with 9 people 04/25/2020. We had to reschedule the big wedding to 09/19/2020. I had only a matrain of honor I knew the best man and groom would be in blue and my boys would be in burgundy. I let moh wear a dress she had worn at her son's wedding it was perfect color and a wonderful match to my dress. She offered to buy another dress of my choosing if I wanted a different style. I told her I always loved her dress and would be honored for her to wear it. So no you were not an ahole, we wanted our wedding to be special for everyone because it was the 2nd wedding aka party and at that time everyone just wanted to be around each other. I feel wedding are not just about the bride and groom it's about having the people you love celebrating with them.
Don't even attend the wedding. All the "About me" stuff among weddings is just offputting, generally, and being made uncomfortable, knowingly, depicts her as a selfish person, who does the entire "About me" just because. "It's about you, is it still if you're alone? Not only, and not even close to - the wedding being just she, herself and her, the entire wedding ridded of all those complainers and cry performance artists, ain't tjat just the about-she-est thing to think of? Also - not showing any sympathy, respect or aimery for a solution that everybody is at least not unhappy with, again, shows what kind of person she is.
Yeah... She handled that as mature as possible. That bride is definitely the AH. My wedding, I took my bridesmaids to the shop and we picked out things together. I specified color, they picked style (with my input). We had two different styles of dresses and guess what?? No one cared! Also, I wanted each side to be equal, so I had my eldest brother on my side (I have no sisters, just 5 bros). I almost had him wear a dress, but couldn't let him steal the show! (He totally would've worn it for me 🤣).
You're both grown adults. You have no obligation to go anywhere or wear anything. Do it or don't do it but only because it's what you want to do. If that's upsets your friend then maybe she's not a very good friend.
Be glad you are not marrying the bride who has no idea of what it means to marry - -give yourself totally to the other. Inviting someone into your life means you are responsible for their ease and comfort. sacrifice for this is expected. Otherwise, do not invite them into your life. A good wife will make many, many sacrifices of herself to make others happy, most importantly her husband, AND VICE VERSA FOR HIM. Marriage from the moment of the engagement is a sacrifice done with love. Learn it or don't get married. A concerned man.
I feel like, if I had been one of the other bridesmaids, I'd have suggested we pick something else rather than make someone feel that uncomfortable, or tried to find something similar that would have been more comfortable. If it had been something low cut and she wasn't comfortable would they be saying the same thing?
I don't blame you a bit. I'm a bigger gal (mostly bust) and feel very uncomfortable in fitted clothing as well. I know what works on my body & what doesn't (also the fact that dress was poly and long sleeved meant you were probably going to sweat like crazy). We were picking out new uniform tops (white shirt/black pants or skirt) and they were really pushing for this fitted button up. Granted, I was much thinner, but no less busty. This one (skinny) girl was getting really heated over this stupid shirt and just couldn't understand why I was being so difficult about it. I just looked at her and wickedly said, "Maybe someday when you gets boobs you'll understand". We went with the v-neck polo shirts. (The manager was trying so hard not to laugh).
NTA: We had an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, we had one bridesmaid walk with 2 groomsmen. I asked in the beginning, what was their budgets? No need to break the bank. I requested that each lady pick the same color dress, but pick something that they would be comfortable in and fits their body type. Sizes "double 00 to 14". Had ring bearer and no flower girl. As a previous bride I get it's our day. However, we can show our appreciation for the supporters that's donating their time and money to make you happy by making sure they're comfortable and look/feel good. Nope, didn't break the bank but we're still getting compliments on how beautiful our day was and how they could feel the love. We focused on celebrating love, family, and close friends. None of that traditional stuff. Was married 2021. It was more important to have my girls then how alike the dresses were. This would not be an issue to a real friend. My ladies looked nice and cohesive.
Bridesmaid dresses are a nightmare, usually, for larger people. This was 20 years ago, and I was a smaller size than I am now, when we went to the bridal place with a guy's name. No vanity sizing there! Our choices were quite limited, 3 styles I believe were above a 16. And the 16 fit my size 12 friend. I myself had to get an embarrassingly high numbered size that was 8 numbers higher than my actual dress size, (that's 4 sizes larger because they count in 2's after size 10), and I still had to get it altered larger! That's my long way of saying that OP probably couldn't even get the size she needed. You don't have to be that large to not be able to fit into some of those dresses they offer.
NTA, you did the right thing. Not identical, but my brother married a girl with a family of doctors and lawyers. His family is working poor/poor. I literally couldn't afford a single thing in her registry (mine was at Walmart!). Then they hinted around at me being a bridesmaid. NO. Vera W**g, royal Dalton, bridal showers, dinners, breakfasts, gifts, hotel rooms. "but none of his family is represented." You're right, they're not.
tbf that dress is pretty ugly so even if it wasnt a comfort issue i still wouldnt blame her for not wanting to wear it, it looks like an old woman dress lol
I'm leaning YTA since she didn't even try it on. The fit is normal, not body-con tight like I was expecting and looks like that stretchy, fake-lace material. It looks like it has some asymmetrical rouching/gathering at the waist, to be flattering and hide any tummy, and the skirt flares as an A-line, to hide hips/ thighs, and the pattern also helps hide problem areas. The dress is available in her size, offers a bunch of coverage, doesn't require special undergarments, and a few stitches or safety pins would keep that slit closed to the knee. It is the safe vanilla ice cream of bridesmaid dresses. It rarely gets more accommodating than this. She just automatically assumed she'd be hideous, and I'm betting she would have said the same with any dress the bride chose. Probably even one she chose herself, because that would be a flashing "has a different dress because I'm fat!" and the LW is extremely self conscious. Her real issue is standing on display in front of everyone, which she's covering up by blaming the dress.
I had three bridesmaids with vastly different body types and complexions. I got all three of them in on choosing the dress, let them have whatever alterations they needed to be comfortable (tailoring, modesty panels, w/e), and let each one choose one of the three main flowers in my bouquet; each bridesmaid got a bouquet of the flower she chose, and wore a dress in that color. I personally think all three of them looked beautiful, and often joke that the best picture taken at my wedding was of my third bridesmaid - my little sister. But to me it was just as important that they feel happy and confident in their dresses.
When I got married, I had one plus size bridesmaid, one pregnant one, and a couple of skinny teenage girls. I just told them a color and approximate length and to pick something they were comfortable in. It mattered much more to me that they were there for me than to have them all perfectly ‘match.’
Just get a size that isn’t tight on you. It’s a nice dress. It only has to be skin tight if you buy a size too small.
You did not understand the problem here. It's not how it works. Be obese and then we'll talk.
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