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Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin’s Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her
No matter what, family always has your back. Except when they don’t.
Just a few days ago, a now-deleted Reddit user submitted a story about her wedding to the ‘True Off My Chest’ community, which invites people to speak their minds when no one else listens to them.
In it, the woman explained that her cousin had a thing with her new husband, and, feeling bitter, decided to wear a red dress to their wedding to inform everyone about it.
However, the bride came up with an idea of how to protect her big day from becoming a scandal.
This woman learned that her cousin had a fling with the man she was marrying and was planning to wear a red dress to their wedding to let everyone know about it
Image credits: Joeyy Lee (not the actual photo)
So she devised a plan to outsmart her
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Has anyone one heard of this 'red' tradition? If so, can you say which area/culture you have come across it?
I did a quick Google search; apparently it's a Southern US thing? Red is in reference to being "a scarlet woman," or so one article said. Weird.
I am from the south snd have never heard if it.
I too am from the south and never heard of this either!
From KY and my old boss wore a red wedding dress and she was born in VA.
I'm also from Kentucky and ivy never heard of such a tradition.
Well these days I would say that the bride wearing a red dress and signaling that she has slept with the groom would be closer to the truth than a white dress which signals "purity". At least for the majority of the marriages.
I’m from the south and today is the first time I heard this “tradition”.
This southern woman had no idea lol! I'm trying to think back if I've ever worn red to a wedding lmao I'll def have my eye out at the next one though! :P
Yeah, from the south here and I have literally never heard of that. I have some petty a*s women in my family too lol I feel like if it was a real big deal they'd have definitely been the ones to use it lol.
I am in my 50's and live in the southern US. Never heard anything remotely like this. It's just don't wear WHITE!
Grew up in the south. Never heard of it.
I love that most of the replies are "I'm from the South and this sounds like BS" 😄
Doesn't being a "scarlet" woman basically mean she's a whore?
I looked it up, no reference to that. However, it did mention it may detract the attention of the bride as being similar to having a red car and causing attention to self. (insurance companies claim it does too.) However, when the wedding party is wearing it, it can be very stunning overall. The bride can 'pop' by the comparison, but can also have the opposite effect and be 'lost' by the eye-catching overkill of the rich color. No matter what , it doesn't mean what the 'harlot' tried to sell of the idea. Which then baffles me, did her mom know the message that the daughter was going to use? I'd say the bride then saved her from the shame it would have brought her cousin. That could have blown-up in her face. "What, you're saying that 8 years ago you had the guy, but he's making an honest woman of the bride and you didn't have the class to hang on to him?" Might want to change your game plan for your future, or you will remain single for 8 more years. Think that over 'loser' girl.
I'm not sure if you're saying no reference to the south, or no reference to scarlet woman. This is the site I saw that said Southerners: https://www.bustle.com/articles/68264-10-wedding-etiquette-rules-millennials-should-brush-up-on-because-there-is-a-time-and-a and this is the one about scarlet woman: https://www.mamamia.com.au/colours-not-to-wear-to-wedding/ But yeah, I'm really not sure at all about either. EDIT: The difference in our "hits" might have to do with search terms. I used "does wearing red mean you slept with the groom" for mine.
It's not a current southern thing. Maybe back in the 50s
I am from the South and have never heard of this!!!!
It's complete nonsense. As you've heard from other southerners it's not a thing at all, and as a southerner, I concur. The only thing mentioned in wedding "tradition" about red is 'married in red, better off dead' Here are some others from the Victorian era. Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen. Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you’ll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.
Anything for purple or multicolored???
I'm not sure this is right, a "Scarlet Woman" is a biblical reference, and a slur similar to calling a woman a s**t.
I knew the slur part, didn't know it originated with the bible though. Interesting!
Could someone tell me what chapter/verse to look in?
Google can
Not true. Born and raised in the South, not a Spring chicken lol, and I’ve never heard of that!
I was born and raised in the south. Never heard of this stupidity.
Its not a southern thing, it's a mental illness thing.
TX, never heard of it.
I've lived in the south and never heard of such a thing. In fact, I'm sure I've worn red to a wedding or 2. Now I'm trying to remember WHOSE wedding so I can figure out if folks thought I was pathetic or bragging!
Meant to say I've lived all my life in the south
Did someone watch Gone With the Wind and think it represented a tradition?
I'm just an old country boy from the south and this is a first for me. Now I'm wondering what color you wear if you've slept with the bride? To be clear, if you, female, has slept with the bride? Wait until cousin gets hitched and have several girls show up wearing that color.
from the south, never ever heard of this. very much news to me
From GA and never heard of this.
I'll add my bit to this: I grew up in The South during the 70s and 80s. Never heard of this either. Must be some other part of the South ...
I know we've heard from Kentucky, Virginia, and Texas. Not sure about the "Deep South."
Lol like louisiana... Yes ive heard of it... For real!!
Louisiana here, too, but nope...news to me.
I'm assuming it's tied to scarlet letters, which mean infidelity. I've never heard of the red dress at a wedding thing though, even if I live in the US lol.
I kinda think the girl just sorta came up with it on her own. I don't think she knows what she's talking about.
I'm from Georgia (Southern US). My great-grandmother told me it was a thing in the early 1900s. But it wasn't to signify that the person had slept with the groom, it was if the groom had previously proposed to a woman and broke it off (for whatever reason). She said she had never heard of anyone actually doing it, and she figured it was just a story. However, if anyone suspected that the bride and groom had sex with each other before they married, they would gift a pair of baby booties at the wedding, and say something like, "I know you'll be needing these sooner than you should" in front of everyone. One of my Granny's cousins actually did that to her because she had the hots for my Grandpa, but he chose my Granny instead. That cousin was a b*tch.
Also Scandinavia. That is I've been to weddings in Norway and Sweden, not Denmark so I don't know if it's a thing there.
Not a thing in Norway. Never heard of it. @Nilsen. Just the don't wear white. However in very christian societies a few generations ago it might be said red is the colour of the devil; in that way wearing a red dress might invoke the devil. But not suggest the wearer has slept with the groom.
...and if you choose to wear black to a wedding, be absolutely sure that you outfit wouldn't be apropriate at a funeral, in order to not create the wrong association. If you have the body for it, and the wedding isn't too formal and prune, choose something akin to a cocktail dress in shape, and combine it with something of colour or a little sparkling. It must be festive instead of depressing, and black and gold can look really good togheter (in my world black and silver is for new year's eve). Black can be pulled of if you do it right, but be careful with it, as it is easy to make a misstep and unintentionally send the wrong kind of signal with that choice. For males things are a bit different if the outfit is a tuxedo, as these, by definition, is a festive outfit. Despite being only black and white wearing a tux at a funeral would be a faux pas.
It's an old old taboo in the south, not one that paid much attention to anymore.
The Other Guest - for some reason, that was my guess even though I didn't Google it. Just sounded like Southern U.S. if I had to guess.
- - spit laugh - -
From TX and never heard of this at all not even from other people. This is the first. I do know you don't wear the colors of the bride whatever they may be. You don't wear all black it's like a bad omen or something. And I personally thought red was a way of taking the brides glamor, noone told me that was just my personal thoughts.
I think that in western cultures, black is associated with mourning, which is why it is used at funerals. Sending a signal that you are mourning at somebody's "happiest day of their life" isn't really the right thing to do. (You might get away with a discreet mourning band if someone very close to you have died recently, but unless it is a really important tradition for you to honnor, I would advice against it as it leave room for misinterpretations, and you will have to tell the same sad story over and over and draw unnessesary attention to you). A black cocktail dress might work at the party in the evening, if it is festive enough -preferably with some sparkling elements, and cut that would not be suitable in a church (and if you plan to also use it at the wedding ceremony, cover your shoulders, your back and the V-cut with a stylish jacket at that time).
I grew up in the South and have been to many wedding there, including my own. Never heard of this "custom" either. Although, mine was a "shotgun wedding " as I was 3 mo. pregnant.
I'm assuming it's like a scarlet letter, meaning infidelity. However I've never actually heard about the red dress at a wedding thing even though I live in the US.
I'm a 40ish straight brown man.. the next time I'm invited to a wedding, I'm wearing red clothes and giving the groom seductive looks.. keep them guessing..
Omg I want to go with you VIC so I can make googoo eyes at the bride and really make them wonder. I would probably have the giggles the entire time.
Brilliant!! A little giggling will attract more attention! 😂😂
Omg that's hilarious. Please post about it.
😆😂
Oh thank goodness because I have a berry coloured dress... for my brother's wedding!
😊🤣😅😂🤣😅😆😆😆
???
I've never heard of it either! Apparently it was/is a thing (I googled it also), but it sounds like uncommon enough knowledge that I feel like we should all just decide to drop that meaning and not worry about wearing red 🙄
I had no idea, to be honest.
Not me. I've lived my whole live in the US and I'm in my 50s. I've never heard of it. Sure, there's a bit of an association between the color red and sex, but I would never connect it like that if I saw a woman in red at a wedding. It's never been considered an inappropriate color for a wedding guest like white or black are.
From Belgium: definitely not a thing here, never heard of it. Actually, I wore a red dress to my brother's wedding. Not firetruck-red, rather coral red, which I had tailor-made to wear with an ancient shawl exhumed from my mother's sociaty days. In short, great color and everybody congratulated me for it, including the bride!
I'm Swedish and I've heard it, but I don't think it is a thing here.
Have you ever heard of the scarlet letter? It was a thing literally forever ago where women who had affairs would have to wear a red letter stitched on all their clothes. It probably stems from that.
Guys watch gone with the wind. Scarlet wears red to show she was Ashley's first. So of course not many will know of this. It is way back from the 1800's. You would be labeled the scarlet woman. Some places in the south still have it but we are talking native to that particular state and the families have been thier for over a hundred years. Just depends.
Never heard of it. I wore red at my brothers wedding - that definately didn't mean anything! 🤣
I've heard of it, but only because I love the Clean Bandit's song "Baby" with Marina and Louis Fonsi, and a bunch of people mention this tradition it in the youtube comments (someone shows up to the wedding in red).
I've not heard of it either but red is the colour that some Asian women wear when getting married, so they maybe Asian and the cousin wore red in the same way that someone in the west might wear white to cause trouble at a wedding.
Nope, they way the story is framed, it is clearly stated as a petty revence act, not just an accident. If it was an accident, the cousin wouldn't have been so upset, when her evil plan was ruined by the bride.
Nope. It's news to me.
Never heard of it
Never & im 60+
From Louisiana here and yes there are traditions all over dealing with events and funerals. No white or red at a wedding unless bride allows. No red at a funeral meaning you hated the person or glad they passed. Even though I know about and was raised on this, they are old traditions that I dont see or hear about anymore
Yep, born & raised in N O, LA! When I was a kid, it was known u Don't wear red to a wedding. That goes for white & black too, unless they're the wedding colors. They are considered inappropriate.
I think that you can pull of black, if you are careful enough and know what you are doing. The important issue is to make sure the outfit in no way would be apropriate for a funeral -it's a little tricky, as it must also be apropriate in the church if the ceremony is held there. But if you want to be on the safe side, don't go all black, but combine that small black cocktaildress with an assesory, like a jacket or a scarf in some bright colour (or gold, which looks awsome with black), which can also cover those "inapropriate" parts of your body that the deep cuts of cocktail dress often reveals, while you are in the church. That way you can "dress up" later by removing/reconfiguring that item to reveal more of the sexy dress underneath. The tuxedo is in a class of its own. It should be all black with a white shirt, which is in principle also what men wears at funeral. However the tux is by definition a festive atire with some "bling" effects, and hence it would not be ok for a funeral.
Thank you!! Maybe its a Louisiana thing!! We have alot of tradition and culture here that nobody else knows about.
Agreed, Yunterria, and even more so in New Orleans. No place like it 🤷🏼♀️❤️.
Yea, the red bit is efinitely not a thing. And if it is a thing to like 10 people out of a million, then it's not a thing. For her little spite plan to work, she he would have had to explain to everyone there A) that she was trying to make a statement by wearing red, and B) exactly what statement she was trying to make. And if that's the case, why bother wearing red at all when you can just walk around yelling anyone who will listen you had a one night stand with the groom before he ever met the bride? Though maybe she thought it would be easier to work into conversations this way...
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I only know it is in bad taste as it takes attention away from the bride. Any bright colors or overly done dress or anything that would cause attention should be avoided as well.
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Has to be a US thing, no other country has so much inbreeding between cousins ... lol
Um, aren't royal families known for inbreeding. No royals in the states. I'm Canadian btw
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip were third cousins. And how about those Habsburgs?
This Has got to be one of the dumbest things I have ever read
LOL!! It makes me want to wear red to every wedding I ever attend now just to stir the pot lol
So as a dude, if I wear a red suit does that mean I banged the groom or the bride? Maybe a red jacket with a red kilt to really confuse everyone.
Cory .... good one👍.... just leave the bag pipes at home so you don't alienate EVERYONE at the wedding.🤣
You're wrong for that 😂 😂😂
Absolutely!! LMFAO!! I mean can you just imagine the gossip that would be flying around about you! Did she REALLY sleep with Aunt Trudy's new husband? Does Cousin Barb know her new hubby slept with her cousin aka/ bestie since childhood? I can't believe she still has a job considering she slept with her boss' new husband! You naughty,naughty girl you!!
LOL 😀 😆
Lmao!!
Lol. 😆😆
Same. We'll never get that time back.
Right? Imagine spending so much energy on other people's lives because you have so little yourself, said the guy who haunts BoredPanda comment sections. (Jk, I like this community so much and enjoy having an outlet, it's like I'm in a bar that only serves Shirley Temples. Still, I realized the irony as I typed it, lol)
That's chicken coops for you. Notice that men never have this level of childish drama?
👍
"I'm not inviting her because she wants to brag to everyone she slept with the groom. Whoever feels uncomfortable because of it is welcome to skip the wedding, too." There.
I agree. She could have just disinvited her and had a nice day. By doing what she did, no matter how satisfying it was, it sort of gave the other girl exactly what she wanted which was to take attention away from the bride on her wedding day and made it all about her. The bride's memory of the day will never not have that mixed in with it because it was a big part of the day, and included a lot of people and pictures, etc. SO... I mean, I get the girl was a jerk but simply uninvite her and move on with your life.
But how are you gonna tell someone to risk the impending fall out of uninviting a family member? It does not take that much to arrange a colour scheme. Much less drama than being harassed all the way up to and after the wedding as well.
By setting a clear boundary that contact will be broken with every family member who disagrees here.
I didn't have my own sister at my wedding. No one really cared.
I don't agree. By having all the red, if took the wind out of the cousins sails...
KATE: I disagree about giving the cousin exactly what she wanted. Now she just blends into the crowd and does not get the limelight. And if it was no big deal why did the aunt have to call the bride and b***h about it. The cousin and the aunt should be BANISHED from the family. That is a tactic that I have taken as I get older... just ghost people who are a menace and bring no harmony to my world. It works great.
She stated that if she handled it that way, it would cause war within her family.
Remember she tried to but the mother said if she was to uninvite her it was going to cause trouble with the family. So I think what she did was the best way to handle that situation. So nothing would interfere with her big day.
This! Also, if red dresses really mean that there, why oh why would the bride want to make it look like her intended had sex with more than a dozen wedding guests? What a super weird solution to a super weird problem
If another dozen of people wear the same colour, the initial meaning kinda loses it’s sense (not that it had any from the beginning). And since the bride’s family and close friends wear it (including something red for the spouses), most people would think that it was some sort of colour theme they chose.
That's the beauty of if. Stomped right over any bad meaning of red...
No maam... If its part of the intention of the bride it doesnt mean that... Its a tradition and wedding etiquette situation but it all boil downs to what the bride wants. So when she changed the wedding colors she blocked the cousins shine... Perfect!!!!
That was my point when I first read this. It proves that it's a made up thing. And it's possible that the whole story is made up.
Not made up... Actually a thing here in Louisiana
Translation: "you want to tell everyone you're a wh*re".
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Has anyone one heard of this 'red' tradition? If so, can you say which area/culture you have come across it?
I did a quick Google search; apparently it's a Southern US thing? Red is in reference to being "a scarlet woman," or so one article said. Weird.
I am from the south snd have never heard if it.
I too am from the south and never heard of this either!
From KY and my old boss wore a red wedding dress and she was born in VA.
I'm also from Kentucky and ivy never heard of such a tradition.
Well these days I would say that the bride wearing a red dress and signaling that she has slept with the groom would be closer to the truth than a white dress which signals "purity". At least for the majority of the marriages.
I’m from the south and today is the first time I heard this “tradition”.
This southern woman had no idea lol! I'm trying to think back if I've ever worn red to a wedding lmao I'll def have my eye out at the next one though! :P
Yeah, from the south here and I have literally never heard of that. I have some petty a*s women in my family too lol I feel like if it was a real big deal they'd have definitely been the ones to use it lol.
I am in my 50's and live in the southern US. Never heard anything remotely like this. It's just don't wear WHITE!
Grew up in the south. Never heard of it.
I love that most of the replies are "I'm from the South and this sounds like BS" 😄
Doesn't being a "scarlet" woman basically mean she's a whore?
I looked it up, no reference to that. However, it did mention it may detract the attention of the bride as being similar to having a red car and causing attention to self. (insurance companies claim it does too.) However, when the wedding party is wearing it, it can be very stunning overall. The bride can 'pop' by the comparison, but can also have the opposite effect and be 'lost' by the eye-catching overkill of the rich color. No matter what , it doesn't mean what the 'harlot' tried to sell of the idea. Which then baffles me, did her mom know the message that the daughter was going to use? I'd say the bride then saved her from the shame it would have brought her cousin. That could have blown-up in her face. "What, you're saying that 8 years ago you had the guy, but he's making an honest woman of the bride and you didn't have the class to hang on to him?" Might want to change your game plan for your future, or you will remain single for 8 more years. Think that over 'loser' girl.
I'm not sure if you're saying no reference to the south, or no reference to scarlet woman. This is the site I saw that said Southerners: https://www.bustle.com/articles/68264-10-wedding-etiquette-rules-millennials-should-brush-up-on-because-there-is-a-time-and-a and this is the one about scarlet woman: https://www.mamamia.com.au/colours-not-to-wear-to-wedding/ But yeah, I'm really not sure at all about either. EDIT: The difference in our "hits" might have to do with search terms. I used "does wearing red mean you slept with the groom" for mine.
It's not a current southern thing. Maybe back in the 50s
I am from the South and have never heard of this!!!!
It's complete nonsense. As you've heard from other southerners it's not a thing at all, and as a southerner, I concur. The only thing mentioned in wedding "tradition" about red is 'married in red, better off dead' Here are some others from the Victorian era. Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen. Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you’ll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.
Anything for purple or multicolored???
I'm not sure this is right, a "Scarlet Woman" is a biblical reference, and a slur similar to calling a woman a s**t.
I knew the slur part, didn't know it originated with the bible though. Interesting!
Could someone tell me what chapter/verse to look in?
Google can
Not true. Born and raised in the South, not a Spring chicken lol, and I’ve never heard of that!
I was born and raised in the south. Never heard of this stupidity.
Its not a southern thing, it's a mental illness thing.
TX, never heard of it.
I've lived in the south and never heard of such a thing. In fact, I'm sure I've worn red to a wedding or 2. Now I'm trying to remember WHOSE wedding so I can figure out if folks thought I was pathetic or bragging!
Meant to say I've lived all my life in the south
Did someone watch Gone With the Wind and think it represented a tradition?
I'm just an old country boy from the south and this is a first for me. Now I'm wondering what color you wear if you've slept with the bride? To be clear, if you, female, has slept with the bride? Wait until cousin gets hitched and have several girls show up wearing that color.
from the south, never ever heard of this. very much news to me
From GA and never heard of this.
I'll add my bit to this: I grew up in The South during the 70s and 80s. Never heard of this either. Must be some other part of the South ...
I know we've heard from Kentucky, Virginia, and Texas. Not sure about the "Deep South."
Lol like louisiana... Yes ive heard of it... For real!!
Louisiana here, too, but nope...news to me.
I'm assuming it's tied to scarlet letters, which mean infidelity. I've never heard of the red dress at a wedding thing though, even if I live in the US lol.
I kinda think the girl just sorta came up with it on her own. I don't think she knows what she's talking about.