Bride Says She Wants To Drop Her Sister As A Bridesmaid Because She Won’t Wear A Dress Her Size, Asks The Internet What To Do
A controversial Facebook post is going viral online after it was shared on the r/weddingshaming subreddit. In the anonymous post, the bride-to-be explained that she’s thinking of dropping her very own sister as a bridesmaid… because she doesn’t fit her body standards.
According to the body-shaming woman, she feels “stressed out” because it’s difficult to dress her sister who she believes is lying about her actual clothing size, and is in denial about how big she actually is. Not surprisingly, people were horrified to read the Facebook post and were furious at the bride for lacking any sympathy whatsoever. However, some other internet users had very different reactions. In their opinion, the main issue isn’t body-shaming but deep denial.
Scroll down to read the post and the reactions to it yourselves, dear Pandas. Meanwhile, be sure to check out Bored Panda’s interview with The Wedding Society about how brides have to let go of the idea that their weddings can be completely ‘perfect.’
A bride-to-be shared that she’s thinking of dropping her sister as a bridesmaid because of her size
Image credits: Elin B (not the actual photo)
Here’s the controversial post in full
Most of us know that perfection is impossible (especially when it comes to weddings!), but some brides find it a harder idea to swallow than others. The very best approach is to realize that some things won’t go as planned, so it’s best to stop stressing out over everything. This applies to issues with the venue, changes in the ceremony, and family members who don’t meet the sky-high expectations of the happy couple.
“It’s almost impossible to get through a wedding without at least one thing going wrong. There are dozens of contributing factors, people and businesses converging in one 4-5 hour window to pull a single event off, so it is almost guaranteed that there will be something going wrong,” Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at The Wedding Society, told Bored Panda that perfection is impossible. So it’s best to learn to accept this.
“If you can just accept that fact then when that thing does go wrong, you’ll be much more able to just accept it, troubleshoot it, and move on happily with the rest of the day,” they shared.
“The only way to avoid regrets is to make the choice not to have any!” they added that it’s entirely up to the bride to decide whether or not something will or will not be a problem. In short, some brides can make issues of things that aren’t issues at all. And that just makes everyone feel stressed out.
During a previous interview, Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society explained to us that even though the happy couple is allowed to be a bit more particular about details as the wedding approaches, the line needs to be drawn at discrimination.
“It is never okay, no matter the occasion or circumstance, to discriminate against anyone of any race, age, color, gender, or ability. If that occurs, a kind, honest and firm discussion needs to take place in order to stand up for the person or people being discriminated against,” they said.
“Family disputes really require the work of everyone involved to remember the bigger picture and work towards a higher goal, and also to remember their love for each other above everything else.”
Meanwhile, personal trainer and physiotherapist Paulius Lipskis pointed out to us earlier that nobody can force someone to lose weight. That desire to change has to come from within. In other words, if someone decides to exercise more and eat healthier, it’s their choice: someone else can’t force it.
“Usually, our unhealthy habits are a result of constant stress and our behavior that’s meant to protect us from it. If we would have an honest chat with ourselves, we’d clearly see that we’re dissatisfied with ourselves only when we feel that we’re using our bad habits to cover our emotions,” he said.
“However, if we accept that we’re not perfect, we’re not pressured to change. That’s when you start developing a natural desire and curiosity to find out what the best possible version of you is,” the expert added, stating that this version of you can be a very individual thing.
People had very different reactions to the story. Some of them sided with the bride
However, others were on the side of the bride’s sister
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Bride and sister need to go to a fitting with the agreement that no one discusses numerical size, and sister tries on dresses that match her measurements. Then if sister is being unreasonable, the bride has justification to drop her. If the bride has unreasonable expectations on what dresses look like on a heavier person, then sister will have proof of that.
The story doesn't say whether the bridesmaid outfits are bought of the rack or custom made, probably off the rack considering. Honestly, either there needs to be a "Nobody mentions numbers" shopping session, or send the sister to buy a specific dress alone, so nobody can see what size dress she tries on, but the fact is, getting a dress that looks good in the photos is really a secondary concern. The primary concern is keeping a healthy relationship between the sisters, and that rules out dumping the sister as a bridesmaid because of this, which will leave the sister thinking she was dropped because she's too fat. Don't go there, OP.
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My dress was an American size 6. I was 106lbs and 5'4" when I got married. Wedding attire is sized completely arbitrary. It's the measurements that determine the fit and size. The higher in price and if you go w a well known designer the sizes get even more ridiculous
Street size was 12, wedding gown was 10 ( what an ego boost), my sister got a dress (22) non-issue about the size...but she gained weight and dress had to be taken out. My aunt was SO afraid that the seams were not going to hold. Better to order a size larger, and take it in where needed than to be concerned that the woman will be embarrassed by either the dress looks bad or it busts the seams and she's out of the event before , during or right after.
Load More Replies... Bride and sister need to go to a fitting with the agreement that no one discusses numerical size, and sister tries on dresses that match her measurements. Then if sister is being unreasonable, the bride has justification to drop her. If the bride has unreasonable expectations on what dresses look like on a heavier person, then sister will have proof of that.
The story doesn't say whether the bridesmaid outfits are bought of the rack or custom made, probably off the rack considering. Honestly, either there needs to be a "Nobody mentions numbers" shopping session, or send the sister to buy a specific dress alone, so nobody can see what size dress she tries on, but the fact is, getting a dress that looks good in the photos is really a secondary concern. The primary concern is keeping a healthy relationship between the sisters, and that rules out dumping the sister as a bridesmaid because of this, which will leave the sister thinking she was dropped because she's too fat. Don't go there, OP.
Load More Replies... My dress was an American size 6. I was 106lbs and 5'4" when I got married. Wedding attire is sized completely arbitrary. It's the measurements that determine the fit and size. The higher in price and if you go w a well known designer the sizes get even more ridiculous
Street size was 12, wedding gown was 10 ( what an ego boost), my sister got a dress (22) non-issue about the size...but she gained weight and dress had to be taken out. My aunt was SO afraid that the seams were not going to hold. Better to order a size larger, and take it in where needed than to be concerned that the woman will be embarrassed by either the dress looks bad or it busts the seams and she's out of the event before , during or right after.
Load More Replies...
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