Unruly Children Cause Chaos At A Child-Free Wedding, Bride And Groom Bill Parents For Bringing Them, Drama Ensues
When your friends, colleagues, and the people you generally like in this whacky world send you an invite to their wedding, the polite thing to do is to follow the rules that they set. They might have a certain vision of how their guests dress, what gifts they bring, or… they might want a child-free wedding.
Whatever your personal feelings about this, just remember, it’s supposed to be the couple’s happiest day ever. And as guests, dear Pandas, we should do our best to accommodate reasonable requests.
Well, one bride saw firsthand what happens when some people don’t follow the rules. She turned to the AITA subreddit for their verdict on whether or not she was a jerk for billing three couples because they brought their kids to her wedding when she explicitly asked everyone not to. She also went into detail about the chaos that unfolded, spearheaded by the rowdy munchkins. Scroll down for the full story.
Kids might be awesome, but some folks choose to have child-free weddings for a variety of reasons
Image credits: shironosov (Not the actual photo)
However, when some guests don’t follow this rule, things can get very chaotic, as one bride explained on the AITA subreddit
Image credits: AltruisticHapa
The bride, redditor u/AltruisticHapa, explained that two of the couples were very apologetic and paid for their kids who were additional guests. One couple, however, refused. They felt very entitled and thought that they did nothing wrong. Even though their kids caused the most damage. Including having ruined the bride’s dress.
As the redditor put it, she and her husband concluded their friendship with that particular couple. And that was that. However, the bride was worried that she might have overreacted. Especially when she’d asked her husband to kick out the guests who had brought their children with them.
The AITA community was very sympathetic, however. They stressed that she had gone above and beyond to accommodate those guests who actually had children. She had extended the dinner before the wedding to include all the kids. She also hired 5 whole babysitters to take care of the munchkins while their parents went to the ceremony.
But what do you think, dear Pandas? Whose side are you on? How would you have solved the entire child-free drama? Let us know in the comments.
Anna and Sarah, team leaders at The Wedding Society, spoke to Bored Panda before about how it is important to respect the wishes of the marrying couple when it comes to children at the wedding. “Whether it be that kids of a certain age are welcome, only specific children of a few family and friends, or no kids at all.”
“Please don’t take the inclusion or exclusion of your little ones personally (especially if the couple don’t have kids of their own to fully understand your situation) and remember—as nice as it is to bring your babes along to the celebration, it’s also an awesome opportunity for a fun night off if you’re asked to leave them with a sitter!” they urged guests to look at the positives.
“For marrying couples, the etiquette can be trickier. Newborns really need to be with their parents so please don’t ask for any babies under a few months to be left at home. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask for parents of older children to take the night off and leave them with a sitter, but the fairest way to do this is to make a blanket rule for everyone rather than picking and choosing which kids can come and who can’t.”
Most internet users thought that the bride did nothing wrong and explained why
However, some people took it further and said that she was wrong for compromising at all
I would have had that family turned away at the door. You aren't welcome here since you can't follow rules. On with our day :)
I'd put actual money on the line betting the following: Cwc Connie has kids. Cwc Connie thinks her reproduction is the most amazing thing ever accomplished and posts about this often on Facebook. Cwc Connie is/and has been TA at many events. Cwc Connie is oblivious to any of their AH behaviors or to the times they were TA. Cwc Connie lets her offspring run rampant and without interference (i.e. parenting) at restaurants - putting themselves, staff, and others in danger, ruining other's experience - and thinks that anyone who brings this to their attention is out of touch and that "kids will be kids" and people need to adapt to her presence and experience.
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Anyone else aghast at people paying $250 a PLATE for a wedding? It is a singular day, why would anyone in their right mind pay that?
The only time the cost is an issue is when people book venues/services they can't afford. If you can afford it and are happy to pay go for for it.
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Just because the bride and groom had a wedding venue that costs this much doesn't mean they should open the doors to all the self appointed pluses. I agree that she should cut ties with the moochers and charge accordingly. They are sharing their day with loved ones and don't want children present. If they are accommodating parents with free sitters and the parents don't want the free sitters, that doesn't mean the parents get to make up their own rules and their own invites. Stay home with your kids.
I have a memory of being a small child and going to a wedding reception with my mother. When they called our table up for the buffet, she said we couldn't go. I remember her scolding me for complaining that I was hungry, and for not understanding why we couldn't eat with everyone. Much later I learned that her friend had requested a child-free wedding because of the catering expense, and my mother had been offended by that, so she attempted to shame her friend by bringing me as her plus-1 but refusing to let me eat. My mother was very young at the time, and obviously very immature, but I am still floored by that story.
Wow. You should yell at your mom for that no matter how long ago that was. Using another human being, no matter how young they are, as a weapon and tormenting them to prove a point no one will pay attention to or care about.
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NTA, I have kids and love them. They're even well behaved according to the childless couple we know. But if I were told "no kids at our wedding" I'd either have found a way to have them taken care of or I would not have gone to the wedding.
I've heard people complain about child-free weddings but it really sounds like this couple tried to do it right. They had a good reason and explained it clearly, included kids the night before, and even provided childcare. The couple did all they could. It's easy to say "they should've just not let them in!" And sure maybe, but it's harder to actually do so and shift into confrontation mode when you're in the moment, trying to get everything ready, and these people you consider friends have already showed up. I'm glad the other two families realized and apologized, the last family acted horribly.
Take them to court. First, they knew your wedding was supposed to be child free and decided to disrespect that rule and bring their rowdy children anyway. Second, you & your husband were nice enough to be flexible as long as they agreed to pay for their children and not let them act up; both rules were broken for this one couple. Third, you had every right to bill them for their children being there as they agreed to pay for them. Fourth, when you requested payment, they attacked you and denied to fulfill their verbally agreed to responsibility. Fifth, as it was their children who caused damage to your gown, they should be held responsible. It all comes full circle: They broken your initial rule, broke both rules at the wedding, their children caused chaos and damaged to your gown, they refused to pay when they verbally agreed to & attacked you afterwards. File a civil suit for the cost of the children ($500), the dry cleaning due to the damage of your gown (however much it was), and e
Where TF were the parents while their kids were acting like feral animals? First, my kids would’ve been at home with an amply compensated babysitter, or at camp or whatever, because younger kids are bored at weddings and reception as there’s really nothing for kids there. Even if it was a children welcome wedding, my husband and I would’ve been mortified if our kids acted up, and would’ve been right on top of them the whole time, making sure they minded their manners. What takes the cake is the couple with the feral animal children not only refused to pay for anything, but had the gall to be completely mystified as to why the newlyweds told them not to come visit, as if none of the b******t with their kids at the wedding had ever even happened.
While I agree that if the hosts requested no children that the guest should not bring children, I cannot agree with you that younger kids are bored at weddings. I grew up at a itme when everyone had big families - and weddings were wonderful - and the events taught us all how to socialize and dance. And with my own children, they loved the weddings they went to as well - even when they were very young. But, I think, the difference is, that there are lots of cousins and aunts and uncles of all different ages - and everyone enjoys the kids, and the kids enjoy the adults. No one is bored ever. At my wife and my wedding 20 years ago, we married at a later age - so we had so many nieces and nephews - that we wanted them all in the ceremony. And you add all the kids of our friends - we had over 70 kids meals ordered. It's not a wedding for everyone, and I get the adult only affairs. But, a kid-friendly event can be a lot of fun, too.
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I understand how difficult it is to get babysitters. However, the bride and groom were up front about their wedding and reception so that there would not be any surprises. The cost of the venue per plate is not unusual so again not a surprise.The couple who brought their two unruly children ignored this and their children caused damage to the bride's dress - that is an additional unforeseen cost but it is the responsibility of those parents to pay for because of additional plates and for what damage their children did. The bride and groom are requesting reasonable compensation for these things. Just because you're friends you don't get special treatment, you don't take advantage of that friendship - they need to be responsible adults and fork over the money. That would be the mature thing to do.
The bride and groom even went wayyyyyyyy out of their way to accommodate their guests’ children! Offering babysitters and transportation to the sitter is so above and beyond it’s not even funny. If anything, it proves the parents deliberately and maliciously chose to ruin this couple’s wedding by disrespecting their instructions. You’d have to go so out of your way to ignore this couple’s clear, considerate, and reasonable instructions. It would be even more work to disrespect them than it would be to just… follow the very simple directions.
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I'm impressed with the coolness and steadfastness of the couple and a clearly super competent staff. I never unerstood childfree weddings, but I also have never encountered children totally out of control at weddings and I was never at a wedding big enough to have 50+ kids show up. Concerning the friends, I can only say 'good riddance'. Who on earth would sit by watch their children ruin a wedding ceremonie?? It's not even that long!
NTA. I simply don't understand. The couple not wanting to pay. Because, they left before cake? WTF! I hope you stand your ground. I love that you and your husband had each other's backs. Make them pay the food plates and the dry cleaning bill. You and your husband went above and beyond in your wedding day. Providing transportation and babysitters. Explaining since the beginning that you both wanted a child free wedding. They are the AH. Make them pay and cut that "friendship". You both don't need people like that in your life. Best wishes in your marriage.
It happens. We had one set of friends that invited us to a pot luck dinner. We brought a large pasta salad. Near the end of set up, another couple showed up with their 3 kids, brought no food, and let the kids run wild. The kids went in an area they were told to stay away from and destroyed a presentation board the husband had made for his job by drawing all over it. They spilled an oil diffusor all over the wall...and while sitting on the back deck, the wife kept turning towards all the men and crossing/uncrossing her legs to show the guys she wasn't wearing any underwear. Needless to say, they were never invited again.
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I don't think they're mad about not paying. I think they're mad about the mess on the day...
The amount of people who impose anything on a wedding is flabbergasting. You wouldn't believe how many people asked me on my wedding if they could bring their boyfriend/girlfriend even though their invites didn't include plus ones.
We had ppl show up who weren't invited and I felt guilty that I hadn't invited them. We were afraid that there was not enough room and food and we couldn't rent a bigger place, but there was room and food enough, so I'm glad they just showed up anyway.
Load More Replies... God, I despise entitled parents. This story aside, to anybody planning such events, the more perfect you try to make it, the more stress you will have and the less you will enjoy your big day. Just have a big party, go cheap and throw caution to the wind. Expect that problems will occur and keep them from escalating to bigger problems than they have to be. Before I got married, I had been to weddings where everything was so uptight that virtually nobody enjoyed themselves… including the bride and groom. May as well have been a funeral. Not only do guests have a responsibility to ship respect to the bride and groom, but these are also your family and friends there to help you have a special day. Don’t make it more difficult on them to also enjoy spending that special day with you.
That's fine and all. Still don't want kids there. 🤷♀️
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Due to the obvious UPPER GENUINE class and social skills the Bride and Groom demonstrated on their wedding day when the entire group was under fire by those who feel entitled to have their OWN rules instead, and have great lacking of social etiquette skills and background, THIS COUPLE TOOK IN STRIDE that which blows most people away. They were true grace under fire. They handled the problem self indulging guests beautifully. As for the real jerks whose kids plastered the bride with food, and those parents who don't know any better, do you REALLY NEED them in your life? If you get an apology, great. If you get damages and care costs, BETTER. But MOVE ON. Let them find their own kind and social level. I'm certain they overheard other guests' comments about their IGNORANT parenting and kids, and STILL THEY DID NOTHING! But SHOULD HAVE. AND LEFT EARLY with brats in tow. But they DIDN'T. THEY CHOSE TO CONTINUE to mar your day. Take them to court, get your damages back and bid them GOODBYE.
My wedding in 1995 was a child free one except for a few that we knew were very well behaved and my mom had been their babysitter since birth. Some of my family and friends didn’t come because they couldn’t bring their kids. Not only didn’t I want kids running wild, I know my friends. They like to drink. A lot. I didn’t want somebody’s kid to get hurt by a drunk stepping on them. If your kid isn’t invited, don’t bring them. This bride and groom at least know who they can depend on. Not the dumb@$$ parents of feral kids. If my two had acted up, they would be in the car in no time.
Often they don't invite any kids, cause some parents let em run wild. This is a better solution. Your kid behaves and you watch your kid, so yours can come.
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Walking down the aisle ahead of you? Food fight? Getting food on your wedding dress? Those kids belong in a zoo...parents appear to not respect others so no wonder...nta
No one has the right to disrupt someone's wedding day plan, it can be a very stressful event
So rude. Why do some people think the rules don’t apply to them? There were so many ways the people with children could have resolved their child care needs. What a shame this otherwise perfect day was marred by selfish, thoughtless guests. I would no longer want to be friends with these people either.
I don't understand the YTA and ESH commentaries, especially if you're saying she was right and just made the conditional accommodations ...
I think they were ironic takes on saying "That's great you did what you did but you should had done more to them". Like telling them they deserved more than what they were asking. I never liked aggressive statements like that, even if they were in my favor.
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I'm wondering how the other parents who did not bring their children felt when they saw children there? I'm not sure anyone thought about them. They might have felt slighted not knowing how poorly these parents/w kids followed the rules. People should be kindly assertive. Either you bring the kids to the in laws which was provided or just go home. It wasn't fair to those following the couples rules.
When the kid skipped down the aisle i wouldve taken a seat on the front pew & told my maid of honor & the best man to escort them out. The ceremony wouldve proceeded when they left. And i wouldve told them to CLEARLY communicate that she is unwelcome at the reception too should she show up AGAIN with the kids & that they WILL be escorted out, AGAIN. Stick to your rules. Wth comes to someones event as a guest & does what they please?? Absolutely NOT on my day.
The karma will come for these parents, eventually, at the hands of their children, who they've been teaching to ignore boundaries and responsibilities. Narcissists often perpetuate the disorder.
I guess I'm just confused as to why they brought the children, when you sent invitations out with more than enough time for them to find a babysitter. It's also nice to read that your husband took care of the problem most times I read that the husband sticks up for his family no matter how wrong they might be. Sounds like you and him have a great partnership.
When .y boyfriend and I get married I'm gonna be pushing this hard especially since it's the second marriage for both of us hahaha
Load More Replies... NTA...I think the real problem is that these parents think that everyone thinks like they do: their children are adorable and everyone loves them and everything they do is cute. These 2 parents had only 2 children to watch and could not even do that! They will never respect any boundaries when it comes to their children. They are not your friends anymore. As long as they are members of their children's adoration society, they will not be fit to be around.
I mean, the couple might have wanted to apologize and give you something. It wasn’t right of them but we should all try to forgive after so much time.
Unless it's a casual event, no kids. Weddings are planned far enough in advance for parents to make arrangements. The only exception would be for someone with a nursing baby under 6 months, then make it clear there is a quiet room in the church or venue if the baby gets fussy. Kids and weddings don't mix.
My husband's family has had several weddings/events in the past that were child free and we just didn't go. They get upset about us not showing up, and sometimes I feel bad, but our son is intellectually disabled and we don't always have a reliable person to watch him. You can't have it both ways.
NTA!! I would have tossed them out when they showed up with them. No excuses, no making them welcome at the door. The invitations were quite explicit about children. I hate children and wouldn't want them at my wedding either. The couple sets the rules, and they should be followed.
People don't like badly behaved kids. Those children sounded horrible and the parents should be ashamed of themselves and their terrible parenting skills. The parents and children both sound like entitled jerks.
The bride and groom are much nicer than me bcz I wouldn’t have even let them in the door
I dont understand...the other couples couldnt afford to pay a babysitter $20 an hour, but the $250 a head dinner was no problem. (Although kids who behave like that, could be no sitters will agree to watch them).
You were not wrong , so don't think you were. You clearly stated that it was child-free ... That's means no kids , and those parents couldn't make it , then they should of responded with cant make it .. But you offered child care and transport... Then you allowed them and set -up a kids table where the parents couldn't even settle them down .. The other couples paid and apologized.. But the 3rd couple , think its nothing , well hopefully you & your husband cut them out of your life , red flags you dont want them in your lives .. If they disrespect your wishes now , imagine what they'll do later on in your life , Move on without them , yall are better off without them ...
Hell no! Imagine having your wedding ruined cause of some f kids... F that.
I applaud the Bride & Groom for having “their” wedding…but smh at them for allowing others to ruin their day! Hindsight…stand your ground stopping them at the door and denying entry would’ve told them all that “this is our wedding, this is our life and we’re doing it our way”. As they are entitled to do so..
She was not wrong in her decision to kick the rude family out for bringing their kids to a child-free wedding when the couple specifically asked for their guests not to bring the kids to their wedding; I commend her husband for standing by her during this chaos; the rude couple should had taken the couple's offer to have the babysitters look after the kids but they didn't! The bride was right to bill the rude couple for the damage their kids caused by ruining her dress; If people invited to a wedding are asked not to bring their kids, they should respect their wishes; this was the happiest day of their lives and have every right to make such a request; Look what happened when rules aren't followed; a soiled dress, and the end of a friendship!
I'm in the process of planning my wedding right now. We already have a 7 year old and have been together for 12 years so we're old hat at planning family events by now but if I requested a child free wedding and people showed up with their kids? I'd stop them dead in their tracks. This couple MORE than went out of their way to he accommodating - I'd like to know who the hell these people think they are that they just get to show up and break the rules when everyone else with children obliged and behaved correctly. Not only would that have angered me as the bride but I'm sure my other guests would have bristled at their rudeness, as well. Thankfully, we aren't planning a large, expensive affair but we are going to have fun with it and I'm SO glad that modern weddings aren't beholden to old timey traditions. I'll be made up like a fairy and my husband will be rocking a Pagan/Celtic look with runic face paint and beautiful fur. We might even do it at Electric Forest festival!
We had a childfree wedding, and my godmother and her husband showed up with their two little granddaughters. Her husband is a major AH, and declared that as weddings were family events, his granddaughters were automatically welcome. The AH never even spoke to my husband and I -- I've never actually been introduced to the man! -- but just sat around complaining about how bad the food was and his little girls couldn't eat it. Then, I shut up and didn't make waves, because I thought it was more important to have my godmother there. Today? I would've booted their selfish, entitled asses. Our childfree wedding is not the place for you to show off your grandchildren.
They are so NTA. They set up off site babysitting, and the parents of the feral children refused. That should have been the bye bye right there, but I understand not wanting to be so confrontational at the time. The fact that the parents were still so entitled and clueless after what happened at the wedding is a great reason not to see them again. So many on here are commenting on the cost. That's irrelevant. What is the problem is people whom you think are your friends or family decide on their own to foist their little darlings onto everyone when they weren't invited, even when accommodations were made to take care of them! All 3 sets of parents were in the wrong, but at least 2 of them admitted it. I don't care if I'm serving beans and hot dogs at the local pool hall, if I ask that your children don't come, don't bring them! Especially if I have a team of Aunties willing to babysit for free!
NTA. The bride and groom went the extra mile to provide accomodations for children but some parents still would not follow the rules. Most parents did follow the rules. It's no different from those who board a plane knowing must wear a mask but then refuse. They get removed from the flight. Some people feel the rules do not apply to them or break the rules looking for a confrontation. One thing might have been done differently that could have avoided the food fight. If the parents were also seated at the kids table then there would have been some supervision. As it was, the kids were grouped together separated from parents and ready to party!
Absolutely correct. Dont doubt yourselves for one second. You were gracious enough by allowing them to stay when it was strictly stated no children. Children running up and down your wedding isle, and throwing food should have been controlled by parents. Tell them to get lost as they apparently feel no remorse and want to get together again. For what? More disrespect? Respect your selves first stand your nice ground and be assertive! . Small claims and good bye supposed friend. Forever
Was JUST at a wedding this Saturday which was an adult event. The handful of under 21 people were part of the wedding party or bride/groom family & the only two kids were the flower girl/ring bearer. The event was at an historic building attached to a restaurant and a bar. There was a separate entrance to the building t through a courtyard, but it was closed. The couple had anticipated some of the brides invited family would try to bring kids even though the invite and website said kids wouldn’t be admitted. For this reason, the entrance was through the (closed to public) bar and the event people refused a total of 5 kids of three couples. Two had just one parent leave with kids, the third party left altogether.
Even though this was probably a beautiful civil or other religious wedding, real friends would respect the couple.
Whose kid throws food? A kid under the age of 3 may throw food, but that's why you feed them. (You DO NOT just throw them into a high chair and them smash food all over their faces like they show in the movies.) So, any kid over the age of 3 should know not to throw their food. They don't know much, but they know that. TERRIBLE PARENTS for that reason alone.
Nta, Child free is child free. You are not special. Your squalling brats ruin everyone else's good time. Also, caterers don't bring an unlimited amount of food, adding extra people last minute is a problem.
When they refused to pay, I'd have asked them to leave then and there. Inability to compromise is the hallmark of a fake friend. The 2 misbehaving kids parents are kids themselves and should have stayed with the sitter too.
My brother had a child free wedding, it was exactly what they wanted, a whole day during which the adults got to focus on socialising and the wedding itself, that’s what he and his wife wanted and it was a success. I wanted a family day, children totally welcome, games and colouring / activities tables (that the adults soon took over 😀) we had equally as much fun. It’s all about what the Bride & Groom want, if you don’t wish to partake then simply RSVP and don’t attend. Don’t de so selfish as to impose your needs on them, it is their day.
Some people and their f*****g entitlement. Unbelievable. I would've turned them away right at the door as they've already been ignoring the wedding pair's wishes by showing up with their children.
Similar happened to me but not as bad at my Baby Shower. I said NO kids b'cuz with 15-20 guests it would have been 23 kids under 10! My home then & furnishings could not accommodate that. My Bestie made it clear on invites. My 2 nieces aged 6&8 at the time & very shy/well behaved were of course there since they came with Sis from 800 miles away, and will be the only cousins my baby has. Ppl said no problem. EXCEPT our family's lifelong friend who had 5 kids & would have had 10 but needed hysterectomy but I digress..her 1st daughter had a 13 month old and when they found out my wishes threw a fit. Yes, nice church lady became nasty and pulled a " well if your family doesn't want to see MY FIRST GRANDCHILD (they lived 90 mins away) then we can't make it!" Yes. I was sad but fine with that. Mom & sis felt guilty and asked me to relent. Well, let me tell you how I paid for that!! Other guests were hurt/mad/confused that these people got preferential treatment. BTW this was my 3x rainbow
Amazing to me that a parent/parents would choose to ignore the invitation instructions. Not one wedding we have ever attended had any issues with children misbehaving. Now so called Adults who became drunken fools at the reception...where the ONLY problems I have ever encountered. Same with quests to our home. The kids never made a mess, became drunken and argumentative. Or threw up. Kids never once spilt drinks or made a pass at another's spouse. I will take children any day. Seems the children of our friends and associates know how to train well mannered and sweet kids.
omg! definitely NTA. based on all the things that they did to prep for people who had kids such as a place for them, five sitters, etc., i think they were very considerate. if it would have been me i would have told them either their kids go the the sitters or they all leave at once.
Yeah I have friends that are pretty much similar or should I say I've had friends. You got one chance to screw me over in life and that's it I'm done with you. I don't give second chances. The parents obviously have absolutely zero respect for this man and woman who they claim to be friends with so why in the world would you want anyone in your life that has no respect for you? Good riddance
If I were the bride, I'd be holding hubby responsible, since he's the one who caved in (unfairly to everyone who actually showed some respect), thus $500 in extra plates that wound up getting used for vandalism, plus dry cleaning (and I'd be surprised if the venue hadn't charged extra for the cleanup).
Not only are you NTA, but you should tell those parents that, not only do they need to pay the bill in full, they will also need to submit a formal apology in writing to the parent's that complied with the requests for no-kids by refusing to take the offers by the bride and groom. That refusal to do so will result in a lawsuit where the other couples will be presented as witnesses as to what transpired and that they will be further charged for the dress cleaning and other damages caused by their kids.
Oh look, it's Cwc again, making stuff up and getting mad about it. This is the.. fifth comment youve been snotty at someone? So far anyway.
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Obviously, this was meant about small children, but I still get so irritated when I hear about no children weddings. My uncle got married when I was 12, and it pissed me off so bad that I was considered a child. I was in middle school, and very aware of how to behave at social functions. I'm 35 now, and still kinda angry at my uncle for that.
I simply wouldn't have gone to the wedding at all! My Kids are not welcome, than I don't come! Than you make Things to accomodate Kids and babies!
I think children are the star of wedding , wtf is child free wedding ??? As we cousins stayed far apart from our other family member, we were so happy to meet our cousins during the wedding...its a childhood memory you stupid people... Dont dare take it from the children .. instead try to groom your children .. stupid people stupid rules...
Ok. I don't mean to be an a*****e but who f*****g cares about random strangers wedding drama? For the love of God Bored Panda please stop putting up dumb ass posts about people's weddings and their fights with family members and their fights with babysitters and hairdressers. WHO GIVES A RATS ASS. Hey!! My family member farted in the car the other day and everybody was very angry! Would you guys like the details on that? Maybe you can do a post about it!!
"Who cares?! I'm gonna waste my time by writing this comment showing HOW LITTLE I CARE!"
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I don't go because of my social anxiety. But after hearing so many horror stories about guests being d***s or the bride being a d**k or the mom being a d**k (someone's always being a d**k) I just... Would rather shoot zombies. Taking on a hoard of 700 flesh eaters seems more fun than dealing with this s**t...
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And that's ok to decline if you feel that way! Obviously they can't say "only people with well-behaved children can bring them." If there are 100 children among their guests some probably aren't well behaved (but parents will say they're fine), and its ok to just let parents know they aren't able to accommodate kids. If the family can't make it in that case, that's acceptable. What's not acceptable is what the families in this story did, accept the invite and come anyway with their kids, knowing it wasn't allowed.
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They were extra people.... Children are in fact people, brought to an event that cost $250 a plate that they budgeted for based on the people that were invited. But they should shell out another 1750 to pay for people who just showed up uninvited cause they behaved pleasantly?? I wouldn't do that for adults why would I do that for kids ESPECIALLY since I have provided and paid for child care? That's absurd!!
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I would have had that family turned away at the door. You aren't welcome here since you can't follow rules. On with our day :)
I'd put actual money on the line betting the following: Cwc Connie has kids. Cwc Connie thinks her reproduction is the most amazing thing ever accomplished and posts about this often on Facebook. Cwc Connie is/and has been TA at many events. Cwc Connie is oblivious to any of their AH behaviors or to the times they were TA. Cwc Connie lets her offspring run rampant and without interference (i.e. parenting) at restaurants - putting themselves, staff, and others in danger, ruining other's experience - and thinks that anyone who brings this to their attention is out of touch and that "kids will be kids" and people need to adapt to her presence and experience.
Load More Replies... Anyone else aghast at people paying $250 a PLATE for a wedding? It is a singular day, why would anyone in their right mind pay that?
The only time the cost is an issue is when people book venues/services they can't afford. If you can afford it and are happy to pay go for for it.
Load More Replies... Just because the bride and groom had a wedding venue that costs this much doesn't mean they should open the doors to all the self appointed pluses. I agree that she should cut ties with the moochers and charge accordingly. They are sharing their day with loved ones and don't want children present. If they are accommodating parents with free sitters and the parents don't want the free sitters, that doesn't mean the parents get to make up their own rules and their own invites. Stay home with your kids.
I have a memory of being a small child and going to a wedding reception with my mother. When they called our table up for the buffet, she said we couldn't go. I remember her scolding me for complaining that I was hungry, and for not understanding why we couldn't eat with everyone. Much later I learned that her friend had requested a child-free wedding because of the catering expense, and my mother had been offended by that, so she attempted to shame her friend by bringing me as her plus-1 but refusing to let me eat. My mother was very young at the time, and obviously very immature, but I am still floored by that story.
Wow. You should yell at your mom for that no matter how long ago that was. Using another human being, no matter how young they are, as a weapon and tormenting them to prove a point no one will pay attention to or care about.
Load More Replies... NTA, I have kids and love them. They're even well behaved according to the childless couple we know. But if I were told "no kids at our wedding" I'd either have found a way to have them taken care of or I would not have gone to the wedding.
I've heard people complain about child-free weddings but it really sounds like this couple tried to do it right. They had a good reason and explained it clearly, included kids the night before, and even provided childcare. The couple did all they could. It's easy to say "they should've just not let them in!" And sure maybe, but it's harder to actually do so and shift into confrontation mode when you're in the moment, trying to get everything ready, and these people you consider friends have already showed up. I'm glad the other two families realized and apologized, the last family acted horribly.
Take them to court. First, they knew your wedding was supposed to be child free and decided to disrespect that rule and bring their rowdy children anyway. Second, you & your husband were nice enough to be flexible as long as they agreed to pay for their children and not let them act up; both rules were broken for this one couple. Third, you had every right to bill them for their children being there as they agreed to pay for them. Fourth, when you requested payment, they attacked you and denied to fulfill their verbally agreed to responsibility. Fifth, as it was their children who caused damage to your gown, they should be held responsible. It all comes full circle: They broken your initial rule, broke both rules at the wedding, their children caused chaos and damaged to your gown, they refused to pay when they verbally agreed to & attacked you afterwards. File a civil suit for the cost of the children ($500), the dry cleaning due to the damage of your gown (however much it was), and e
Where TF were the parents while their kids were acting like feral animals? First, my kids would’ve been at home with an amply compensated babysitter, or at camp or whatever, because younger kids are bored at weddings and reception as there’s really nothing for kids there. Even if it was a children welcome wedding, my husband and I would’ve been mortified if our kids acted up, and would’ve been right on top of them the whole time, making sure they minded their manners. What takes the cake is the couple with the feral animal children not only refused to pay for anything, but had the gall to be completely mystified as to why the newlyweds told them not to come visit, as if none of the b******t with their kids at the wedding had ever even happened.
While I agree that if the hosts requested no children that the guest should not bring children, I cannot agree with you that younger kids are bored at weddings. I grew up at a itme when everyone had big families - and weddings were wonderful - and the events taught us all how to socialize and dance. And with my own children, they loved the weddings they went to as well - even when they were very young. But, I think, the difference is, that there are lots of cousins and aunts and uncles of all different ages - and everyone enjoys the kids, and the kids enjoy the adults. No one is bored ever. At my wife and my wedding 20 years ago, we married at a later age - so we had so many nieces and nephews - that we wanted them all in the ceremony. And you add all the kids of our friends - we had over 70 kids meals ordered. It's not a wedding for everyone, and I get the adult only affairs. But, a kid-friendly event can be a lot of fun, too.
Load More Replies... I understand how difficult it is to get babysitters. However, the bride and groom were up front about their wedding and reception so that there would not be any surprises. The cost of the venue per plate is not unusual so again not a surprise.The couple who brought their two unruly children ignored this and their children caused damage to the bride's dress - that is an additional unforeseen cost but it is the responsibility of those parents to pay for because of additional plates and for what damage their children did. The bride and groom are requesting reasonable compensation for these things. Just because you're friends you don't get special treatment, you don't take advantage of that friendship - they need to be responsible adults and fork over the money. That would be the mature thing to do.
The bride and groom even went wayyyyyyyy out of their way to accommodate their guests’ children! Offering babysitters and transportation to the sitter is so above and beyond it’s not even funny. If anything, it proves the parents deliberately and maliciously chose to ruin this couple’s wedding by disrespecting their instructions. You’d have to go so out of your way to ignore this couple’s clear, considerate, and reasonable instructions. It would be even more work to disrespect them than it would be to just… follow the very simple directions.
Load More Replies... I'm impressed with the coolness and steadfastness of the couple and a clearly super competent staff. I never unerstood childfree weddings, but I also have never encountered children totally out of control at weddings and I was never at a wedding big enough to have 50+ kids show up. Concerning the friends, I can only say 'good riddance'. Who on earth would sit by watch their children ruin a wedding ceremonie?? It's not even that long!
NTA. I simply don't understand. The couple not wanting to pay. Because, they left before cake? WTF! I hope you stand your ground. I love that you and your husband had each other's backs. Make them pay the food plates and the dry cleaning bill. You and your husband went above and beyond in your wedding day. Providing transportation and babysitters. Explaining since the beginning that you both wanted a child free wedding. They are the AH. Make them pay and cut that "friendship". You both don't need people like that in your life. Best wishes in your marriage.
It happens. We had one set of friends that invited us to a pot luck dinner. We brought a large pasta salad. Near the end of set up, another couple showed up with their 3 kids, brought no food, and let the kids run wild. The kids went in an area they were told to stay away from and destroyed a presentation board the husband had made for his job by drawing all over it. They spilled an oil diffusor all over the wall...and while sitting on the back deck, the wife kept turning towards all the men and crossing/uncrossing her legs to show the guys she wasn't wearing any underwear. Needless to say, they were never invited again.
Load More Replies... I don't think they're mad about not paying. I think they're mad about the mess on the day...
The amount of people who impose anything on a wedding is flabbergasting. You wouldn't believe how many people asked me on my wedding if they could bring their boyfriend/girlfriend even though their invites didn't include plus ones.
We had ppl show up who weren't invited and I felt guilty that I hadn't invited them. We were afraid that there was not enough room and food and we couldn't rent a bigger place, but there was room and food enough, so I'm glad they just showed up anyway.
Load More Replies... God, I despise entitled parents. This story aside, to anybody planning such events, the more perfect you try to make it, the more stress you will have and the less you will enjoy your big day. Just have a big party, go cheap and throw caution to the wind. Expect that problems will occur and keep them from escalating to bigger problems than they have to be. Before I got married, I had been to weddings where everything was so uptight that virtually nobody enjoyed themselves… including the bride and groom. May as well have been a funeral. Not only do guests have a responsibility to ship respect to the bride and groom, but these are also your family and friends there to help you have a special day. Don’t make it more difficult on them to also enjoy spending that special day with you.
That's fine and all. Still don't want kids there. 🤷♀️
Load More Replies... Due to the obvious UPPER GENUINE class and social skills the Bride and Groom demonstrated on their wedding day when the entire group was under fire by those who feel entitled to have their OWN rules instead, and have great lacking of social etiquette skills and background, THIS COUPLE TOOK IN STRIDE that which blows most people away. They were true grace under fire. They handled the problem self indulging guests beautifully. As for the real jerks whose kids plastered the bride with food, and those parents who don't know any better, do you REALLY NEED them in your life? If you get an apology, great. If you get damages and care costs, BETTER. But MOVE ON. Let them find their own kind and social level. I'm certain they overheard other guests' comments about their IGNORANT parenting and kids, and STILL THEY DID NOTHING! But SHOULD HAVE. AND LEFT EARLY with brats in tow. But they DIDN'T. THEY CHOSE TO CONTINUE to mar your day. Take them to court, get your damages back and bid them GOODBYE.
My wedding in 1995 was a child free one except for a few that we knew were very well behaved and my mom had been their babysitter since birth. Some of my family and friends didn’t come because they couldn’t bring their kids. Not only didn’t I want kids running wild, I know my friends. They like to drink. A lot. I didn’t want somebody’s kid to get hurt by a drunk stepping on them. If your kid isn’t invited, don’t bring them. This bride and groom at least know who they can depend on. Not the dumb@$$ parents of feral kids. If my two had acted up, they would be in the car in no time.
Often they don't invite any kids, cause some parents let em run wild. This is a better solution. Your kid behaves and you watch your kid, so yours can come.
Load More Replies... Walking down the aisle ahead of you? Food fight? Getting food on your wedding dress? Those kids belong in a zoo...parents appear to not respect others so no wonder...nta
No one has the right to disrupt someone's wedding day plan, it can be a very stressful event
So rude. Why do some people think the rules don’t apply to them? There were so many ways the people with children could have resolved their child care needs. What a shame this otherwise perfect day was marred by selfish, thoughtless guests. I would no longer want to be friends with these people either.
I don't understand the YTA and ESH commentaries, especially if you're saying she was right and just made the conditional accommodations ...
I think they were ironic takes on saying "That's great you did what you did but you should had done more to them". Like telling them they deserved more than what they were asking. I never liked aggressive statements like that, even if they were in my favor.
Load More Replies... I'm wondering how the other parents who did not bring their children felt when they saw children there? I'm not sure anyone thought about them. They might have felt slighted not knowing how poorly these parents/w kids followed the rules. People should be kindly assertive. Either you bring the kids to the in laws which was provided or just go home. It wasn't fair to those following the couples rules.
When the kid skipped down the aisle i wouldve taken a seat on the front pew & told my maid of honor & the best man to escort them out. The ceremony wouldve proceeded when they left. And i wouldve told them to CLEARLY communicate that she is unwelcome at the reception too should she show up AGAIN with the kids & that they WILL be escorted out, AGAIN. Stick to your rules. Wth comes to someones event as a guest & does what they please?? Absolutely NOT on my day.
The karma will come for these parents, eventually, at the hands of their children, who they've been teaching to ignore boundaries and responsibilities. Narcissists often perpetuate the disorder.
I guess I'm just confused as to why they brought the children, when you sent invitations out with more than enough time for them to find a babysitter. It's also nice to read that your husband took care of the problem most times I read that the husband sticks up for his family no matter how wrong they might be. Sounds like you and him have a great partnership.
When .y boyfriend and I get married I'm gonna be pushing this hard especially since it's the second marriage for both of us hahaha
Load More Replies... NTA...I think the real problem is that these parents think that everyone thinks like they do: their children are adorable and everyone loves them and everything they do is cute. These 2 parents had only 2 children to watch and could not even do that! They will never respect any boundaries when it comes to their children. They are not your friends anymore. As long as they are members of their children's adoration society, they will not be fit to be around.
I mean, the couple might have wanted to apologize and give you something. It wasn’t right of them but we should all try to forgive after so much time.
Unless it's a casual event, no kids. Weddings are planned far enough in advance for parents to make arrangements. The only exception would be for someone with a nursing baby under 6 months, then make it clear there is a quiet room in the church or venue if the baby gets fussy. Kids and weddings don't mix.
My husband's family has had several weddings/events in the past that were child free and we just didn't go. They get upset about us not showing up, and sometimes I feel bad, but our son is intellectually disabled and we don't always have a reliable person to watch him. You can't have it both ways.
NTA!! I would have tossed them out when they showed up with them. No excuses, no making them welcome at the door. The invitations were quite explicit about children. I hate children and wouldn't want them at my wedding either. The couple sets the rules, and they should be followed.
People don't like badly behaved kids. Those children sounded horrible and the parents should be ashamed of themselves and their terrible parenting skills. The parents and children both sound like entitled jerks.
The bride and groom are much nicer than me bcz I wouldn’t have even let them in the door
I dont understand...the other couples couldnt afford to pay a babysitter $20 an hour, but the $250 a head dinner was no problem. (Although kids who behave like that, could be no sitters will agree to watch them).
You were not wrong , so don't think you were. You clearly stated that it was child-free ... That's means no kids , and those parents couldn't make it , then they should of responded with cant make it .. But you offered child care and transport... Then you allowed them and set -up a kids table where the parents couldn't even settle them down .. The other couples paid and apologized.. But the 3rd couple , think its nothing , well hopefully you & your husband cut them out of your life , red flags you dont want them in your lives .. If they disrespect your wishes now , imagine what they'll do later on in your life , Move on without them , yall are better off without them ...
Hell no! Imagine having your wedding ruined cause of some f kids... F that.
I applaud the Bride & Groom for having “their” wedding…but smh at them for allowing others to ruin their day! Hindsight…stand your ground stopping them at the door and denying entry would’ve told them all that “this is our wedding, this is our life and we’re doing it our way”. As they are entitled to do so..
She was not wrong in her decision to kick the rude family out for bringing their kids to a child-free wedding when the couple specifically asked for their guests not to bring the kids to their wedding; I commend her husband for standing by her during this chaos; the rude couple should had taken the couple's offer to have the babysitters look after the kids but they didn't! The bride was right to bill the rude couple for the damage their kids caused by ruining her dress; If people invited to a wedding are asked not to bring their kids, they should respect their wishes; this was the happiest day of their lives and have every right to make such a request; Look what happened when rules aren't followed; a soiled dress, and the end of a friendship!
I'm in the process of planning my wedding right now. We already have a 7 year old and have been together for 12 years so we're old hat at planning family events by now but if I requested a child free wedding and people showed up with their kids? I'd stop them dead in their tracks. This couple MORE than went out of their way to he accommodating - I'd like to know who the hell these people think they are that they just get to show up and break the rules when everyone else with children obliged and behaved correctly. Not only would that have angered me as the bride but I'm sure my other guests would have bristled at their rudeness, as well. Thankfully, we aren't planning a large, expensive affair but we are going to have fun with it and I'm SO glad that modern weddings aren't beholden to old timey traditions. I'll be made up like a fairy and my husband will be rocking a Pagan/Celtic look with runic face paint and beautiful fur. We might even do it at Electric Forest festival!
We had a childfree wedding, and my godmother and her husband showed up with their two little granddaughters. Her husband is a major AH, and declared that as weddings were family events, his granddaughters were automatically welcome. The AH never even spoke to my husband and I -- I've never actually been introduced to the man! -- but just sat around complaining about how bad the food was and his little girls couldn't eat it. Then, I shut up and didn't make waves, because I thought it was more important to have my godmother there. Today? I would've booted their selfish, entitled asses. Our childfree wedding is not the place for you to show off your grandchildren.
They are so NTA. They set up off site babysitting, and the parents of the feral children refused. That should have been the bye bye right there, but I understand not wanting to be so confrontational at the time. The fact that the parents were still so entitled and clueless after what happened at the wedding is a great reason not to see them again. So many on here are commenting on the cost. That's irrelevant. What is the problem is people whom you think are your friends or family decide on their own to foist their little darlings onto everyone when they weren't invited, even when accommodations were made to take care of them! All 3 sets of parents were in the wrong, but at least 2 of them admitted it. I don't care if I'm serving beans and hot dogs at the local pool hall, if I ask that your children don't come, don't bring them! Especially if I have a team of Aunties willing to babysit for free!
NTA. The bride and groom went the extra mile to provide accomodations for children but some parents still would not follow the rules. Most parents did follow the rules. It's no different from those who board a plane knowing must wear a mask but then refuse. They get removed from the flight. Some people feel the rules do not apply to them or break the rules looking for a confrontation. One thing might have been done differently that could have avoided the food fight. If the parents were also seated at the kids table then there would have been some supervision. As it was, the kids were grouped together separated from parents and ready to party!
Absolutely correct. Dont doubt yourselves for one second. You were gracious enough by allowing them to stay when it was strictly stated no children. Children running up and down your wedding isle, and throwing food should have been controlled by parents. Tell them to get lost as they apparently feel no remorse and want to get together again. For what? More disrespect? Respect your selves first stand your nice ground and be assertive! . Small claims and good bye supposed friend. Forever
Was JUST at a wedding this Saturday which was an adult event. The handful of under 21 people were part of the wedding party or bride/groom family & the only two kids were the flower girl/ring bearer. The event was at an historic building attached to a restaurant and a bar. There was a separate entrance to the building t through a courtyard, but it was closed. The couple had anticipated some of the brides invited family would try to bring kids even though the invite and website said kids wouldn’t be admitted. For this reason, the entrance was through the (closed to public) bar and the event people refused a total of 5 kids of three couples. Two had just one parent leave with kids, the third party left altogether.
Even though this was probably a beautiful civil or other religious wedding, real friends would respect the couple.
Whose kid throws food? A kid under the age of 3 may throw food, but that's why you feed them. (You DO NOT just throw them into a high chair and them smash food all over their faces like they show in the movies.) So, any kid over the age of 3 should know not to throw their food. They don't know much, but they know that. TERRIBLE PARENTS for that reason alone.
Nta, Child free is child free. You are not special. Your squalling brats ruin everyone else's good time. Also, caterers don't bring an unlimited amount of food, adding extra people last minute is a problem.
When they refused to pay, I'd have asked them to leave then and there. Inability to compromise is the hallmark of a fake friend. The 2 misbehaving kids parents are kids themselves and should have stayed with the sitter too.
My brother had a child free wedding, it was exactly what they wanted, a whole day during which the adults got to focus on socialising and the wedding itself, that’s what he and his wife wanted and it was a success. I wanted a family day, children totally welcome, games and colouring / activities tables (that the adults soon took over 😀) we had equally as much fun. It’s all about what the Bride & Groom want, if you don’t wish to partake then simply RSVP and don’t attend. Don’t de so selfish as to impose your needs on them, it is their day.
Some people and their f*****g entitlement. Unbelievable. I would've turned them away right at the door as they've already been ignoring the wedding pair's wishes by showing up with their children.
Similar happened to me but not as bad at my Baby Shower. I said NO kids b'cuz with 15-20 guests it would have been 23 kids under 10! My home then & furnishings could not accommodate that. My Bestie made it clear on invites. My 2 nieces aged 6&8 at the time & very shy/well behaved were of course there since they came with Sis from 800 miles away, and will be the only cousins my baby has. Ppl said no problem. EXCEPT our family's lifelong friend who had 5 kids & would have had 10 but needed hysterectomy but I digress..her 1st daughter had a 13 month old and when they found out my wishes threw a fit. Yes, nice church lady became nasty and pulled a " well if your family doesn't want to see MY FIRST GRANDCHILD (they lived 90 mins away) then we can't make it!" Yes. I was sad but fine with that. Mom & sis felt guilty and asked me to relent. Well, let me tell you how I paid for that!! Other guests were hurt/mad/confused that these people got preferential treatment. BTW this was my 3x rainbow
Amazing to me that a parent/parents would choose to ignore the invitation instructions. Not one wedding we have ever attended had any issues with children misbehaving. Now so called Adults who became drunken fools at the reception...where the ONLY problems I have ever encountered. Same with quests to our home. The kids never made a mess, became drunken and argumentative. Or threw up. Kids never once spilt drinks or made a pass at another's spouse. I will take children any day. Seems the children of our friends and associates know how to train well mannered and sweet kids.
omg! definitely NTA. based on all the things that they did to prep for people who had kids such as a place for them, five sitters, etc., i think they were very considerate. if it would have been me i would have told them either their kids go the the sitters or they all leave at once.
Yeah I have friends that are pretty much similar or should I say I've had friends. You got one chance to screw me over in life and that's it I'm done with you. I don't give second chances. The parents obviously have absolutely zero respect for this man and woman who they claim to be friends with so why in the world would you want anyone in your life that has no respect for you? Good riddance
If I were the bride, I'd be holding hubby responsible, since he's the one who caved in (unfairly to everyone who actually showed some respect), thus $500 in extra plates that wound up getting used for vandalism, plus dry cleaning (and I'd be surprised if the venue hadn't charged extra for the cleanup).
Not only are you NTA, but you should tell those parents that, not only do they need to pay the bill in full, they will also need to submit a formal apology in writing to the parent's that complied with the requests for no-kids by refusing to take the offers by the bride and groom. That refusal to do so will result in a lawsuit where the other couples will be presented as witnesses as to what transpired and that they will be further charged for the dress cleaning and other damages caused by their kids.
Oh look, it's Cwc again, making stuff up and getting mad about it. This is the.. fifth comment youve been snotty at someone? So far anyway.
Load More Replies... Obviously, this was meant about small children, but I still get so irritated when I hear about no children weddings. My uncle got married when I was 12, and it pissed me off so bad that I was considered a child. I was in middle school, and very aware of how to behave at social functions. I'm 35 now, and still kinda angry at my uncle for that.
I simply wouldn't have gone to the wedding at all! My Kids are not welcome, than I don't come! Than you make Things to accomodate Kids and babies!
I think children are the star of wedding , wtf is child free wedding ??? As we cousins stayed far apart from our other family member, we were so happy to meet our cousins during the wedding...its a childhood memory you stupid people... Dont dare take it from the children .. instead try to groom your children .. stupid people stupid rules...
Ok. I don't mean to be an a*****e but who f*****g cares about random strangers wedding drama? For the love of God Bored Panda please stop putting up dumb ass posts about people's weddings and their fights with family members and their fights with babysitters and hairdressers. WHO GIVES A RATS ASS. Hey!! My family member farted in the car the other day and everybody was very angry! Would you guys like the details on that? Maybe you can do a post about it!!
"Who cares?! I'm gonna waste my time by writing this comment showing HOW LITTLE I CARE!"
Load More Replies... I don't go because of my social anxiety. But after hearing so many horror stories about guests being d***s or the bride being a d**k or the mom being a d**k (someone's always being a d**k) I just... Would rather shoot zombies. Taking on a hoard of 700 flesh eaters seems more fun than dealing with this s**t...
Load More Replies... And that's ok to decline if you feel that way! Obviously they can't say "only people with well-behaved children can bring them." If there are 100 children among their guests some probably aren't well behaved (but parents will say they're fine), and its ok to just let parents know they aren't able to accommodate kids. If the family can't make it in that case, that's acceptable. What's not acceptable is what the families in this story did, accept the invite and come anyway with their kids, knowing it wasn't allowed.
Load More Replies... They were extra people.... Children are in fact people, brought to an event that cost $250 a plate that they budgeted for based on the people that were invited. But they should shell out another 1750 to pay for people who just showed up uninvited cause they behaved pleasantly?? I wouldn't do that for adults why would I do that for kids ESPECIALLY since I have provided and paid for child care? That's absurd!!
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