Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post Search
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Maid Of Honor With A Scar On Her Face Asks If She’s Right To Skip The Wedding After Bride Bans Makeup Just For Her
User submission
3.3K
1M

Maid Of Honor With A Scar On Her Face Asks If She’s Right To Skip The Wedding After Bride Bans Makeup Just For Her

ADVERTISEMENT

When you take on the responsibility of being in a wedding party, you can expect to agree to things you might not be thrilled about. Bridesmaids are often stuck wearing awful dresses, and funding bachelor and bachelorette parties can be a serious expense. But we go along with whatever the bride and groom ask for because we want their special day to be perfect, and their demands are usually harmless. Usually.

One maid of honor reached out to the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit to get some outside opinions on whether or not her best friend was being reasonable with her wedding requests. Below, you can read the story yourself, as well as some of the responses it received, and decide whether this bride had the right to make this demand or if she became a full-on bridezilla. Then if you’re looking for even more maid of honor content, we’ve got the perfect Bored Panda article for you to read next right here.

After being banned from wearing makeup at her best friend’s wedding, this maid of honor wondered if she should skip the affair altogether

Image credits: Oliver Li (not the actual photo)


The maid of honor explained that she is a professional makeup artist and typically wears makeup to cover a scar on her face

ADVERTISEMENT


The bride, however, was more concerned about being the most beautiful person in the room


ADVERTISEMENT

We’ve all heard of Bridezilla’s before. A particularly entitled bride whose demands go far beyond what’s reasonable. While the trope is probably uncommon in real life, it’s certainly been depicted in many shows and movies. Romantic comedies like Bride Wars and 27 Dresses feature fictionalized versions of bridezillas, demanding to control every tiny detail of their lavish ceremonies and becoming angry caricatures when anything goes wrong. There has even been a reality show titled Bridezillas running on WE since 2004, following real brides and exposing their immature and bratty behavior. Watching these sorts of shows and films makes the “bridezilla” archetype feel like a parody, but unfortunately, in cases like this particular maid of honor’s story, brides sometimes take it way too far.

ADVERTISEMENT

The internet is full of articles with tips on how to deal with a bride who’s let the pressure go to her head. Women’s Health even has a list of “Signs You’ve Become a Bridezilla”. The first sign is when a bride snaps at others over tiny things that wouldn’t normally bother them. This can happen to anyone who is overwhelmed with stress, but a more appropriate reaction than going on a rampage is to take a deep breath and calmly collect yourself before interacting with others. Other signs you may need to dial it back are realizing that tiny details about the wedding are keeping you up at night (I promise the guests will not be as concerned about the color of their napkins as you are), becoming too dependent on your therapist or a glass of wine throughout the day, and finding yourself sending emails and making phone calls all through the night. Everyone needs rest and relaxation, even if they’re planning the most exciting day of their life. 

Planning a wedding can be incredibly stressful, but it’s not an excuse to abandon all judgment and expect others to bend at your will. Brides are allowed to make a few crazy demands, but going out of their way to make their so-called best friend look bad is not acceptable. In this situation, it seems like the bride was a questionable friend long before she started planning a wedding. Let us know in the comments how you feel about this story and if the maid of honor is reasonable for wanting to skip the whole event. Have you ever dealt with a bridezilla? We’d love to hear those stories down below too! 

ADVERTISEMENT

The responses are in unanimous support of the maid of honor, with many saying the bride is not a real friend









ADVERTISEMENT








ADVERTISEMENT

1Mviews

Share on Facebook
You May Like
Popular on Bored Panda
Hey pandas, what do you think?
Add photo comments
POST
sinkvenice_1 avatar
Sinkvenice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't about make up. Your friend is incredibly toxic and you need to end that friendship ASAP. I have no idea why some girls behave like this in their friendships and get away with it. There's no way I'd allow someone to put me down all the time, especially in front of others. If you wouldn't allow a boyfriend toy treat you this way, you sure as hell shouldn't allow a friend to.

kristakozak avatar
jihana avatar
Jihana
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, dump that b*tch. When one of my best friends got married I was the MOH. I've been wearing black for over 20 years now, I am fat, and I am not a girly girl, so I am not comfortable in dresses. Guess what? My friend said I should just wear whatever I am comfortable in, even black, even though thst is considered bad luck. Her only request was that I don't wear white. THAT is what a friend is - or just a normal and reasonable human being.

alexandra_rocheleau avatar
Allie Rocheleau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the day of my wedding, I thought my bridesmaids have never looked more beautiful. I was happy to let each of them shine, and didn't feel that anyone would be comparing them to me.

Load More Replies...
jlkooiker avatar
lenka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so sorry. I know you said you did not want to end the friendship, but this is NOT what friendship looks like. True friends support you, encourage you, praise you and boast about how beautiful and talented your make up is. You need a new friend.

carolynpepsipromo avatar
meepmeep
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a friend growing up that would always put me down. It was done in a manipulative way, and if I ever called her out, she would gaslight me. She was beautiful, but she unfortunately had pretty bad acne. Literally every guy I knew liked her, but the guys who liked me were fewer. She would point out how the guys that she knew I liked actually liked her, but in her manipulative way where I couldn't call her out. I was really insecure, but having a friend who put me down like that was toxic for me. I had to cut her out. She moved away and got engaged. She came back to have a bridal shower, and I put my feelings aside to be there for that. She and I go out to dinner the next day. Out of nowhere, she brings up some guy that I went on a few dates with a year before. After our few dates, it just fizzled out, so we weren't really into each other. Unbeknownst to me, she had dated him after I did. So she brings him up to me out of nowhere, while she's engaged to someone else, just to tell me how much he liked her - implying that he liked her more than he liked me. I was done then. When we were younger and the guys she would talk about were around us, was one thing, but when she was engaged, and she had to bring up a guy I wasn't interested in that I dated a year before, just so she could brag that he liked her more, I knew she was still toxic and it was in my best interest to not maintain a friendship

carolynpepsipromo avatar
vinaypai avatar
Vinay Pai
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it even legal for 3 year olds to get married? What part of the world is this?

mj_palmer avatar
Matt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At my wedding I made sure my best man looked as awesome as me as he was my best friend and I wanted us to stand out and look great. I bought him a cravat and waistcoat to match mine. We looked great. Friends should make you feel good about yourself and want you to look and feel good. Ladies, you all look great without makeup, but if it also makes you feel good, then you go for it. You should present to the world however you want to. You know what, that goes for men as well or non binary people and everyone else in between. However you identify, present yourself how ever you want.

susiesmith avatar
Susie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a great attitude you have!! Your ability to accept others as they are says you accept yourself. Your post was beautifully spoken. IF ONLY EVERYONE ON EARTH COULD THINK THIS WAY...if only....Thank you.

Load More Replies...
nizumi avatar
Nizumi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go to the wedding. Wear makeup. And when she makes a scene, she'll be the one who looks bad and insecure. Grab a bottle of champagne and split. :)

gregory_mead_73 avatar
Gregory Mead
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't actually agree. It's the bride and groom's wedding, and "for better or worse", it's their dog and pony show. But I hope the OP declined to go. The couple gets to set conditions, but the guests can decide not to participate. And the bride will have to explain why the MOH didn't come. FWIW, anything we hope they "do" is moot, because the OP is more than a year ago, so whatever was going to happen, has already happened.

Load More Replies...
fraserhodgson18 avatar
PuggerWugger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like using strong language, but your friend is an absolute b*tch. This is definitely an insecurity issue, with the bride being jealous. Best friends don't let their jealousy affect their friendship, and she sounds like she sees this as more important than many years of friendship. I'm sorry to say, but from the sounds of it she hasn't been a good friend to you in a very long time.

jiakayoaddlecoat avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

📢TOXIC FRIEND ALERT📢 Honestly I think OP should end their friendship. Friend obviously is just trying to make you bad. Honestly I think OP is beautiful the way she is. Scars don't define you. I think OP will go far in the makeup business and will end up popular.

tahadata avatar
Lara Verne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That person is not a friend. She's toxic, insecure and constantly put others down to feel more confident. OP should reconsider their 'friendship'.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure why the OP is self conscious about a scar. In any case, it's your best friend with the problem, not you. You say you have no interest in ending the friendship, but I'm here to tell you as a person that had one of these so called friends...you will constantly be held back by her and not allowed to have the life that will make you happy as long as she continues to behave this way. You say she apologizes after insulting you in front of other guys...that's what an abuser does...apologizes to their victim after the beating. But they won't stop if you keep accepting the apology and stick around. You deserve better friends. Regardless as to how long she's been a friend to you, it's time to cut the strings and float away on your own journey. You'll be happier in the long run. Just tell her maybe she'd be happier with a different MOH and back out.

franziska-eller avatar
Konpat
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bride is indeed her ugly friend. On the inside.

l2m2d2 avatar
Emiloy
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking the same thing when I saw “people have made comments to her in the past calling her "the ugly friend"”. I wonder if they were referring not to looks, but to her personality and treatment of others. People definitely become more or less attractive based on their actions

Load More Replies...
dk_5 avatar
D K
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh honey you should have dumped this pseudo-friend a looooong time ago.

michaelswanson avatar
UpQuarkDownQuark
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“I want you, and only you, to do something that makes you anxious and uncomfortable to be in my wedding. The wedding that you’ve made sacrifices to help plan.”

pamylon avatar
Phil Amylon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet another reason we need to shift away from the nonsense of weddings being all about the bride. Celebrations of love don't care about, "being the most beautiful person in the room."

maureenmcdermott avatar
MMcD
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Instead of being maid of honor, she should ask if she could be a guest, promise not to wear make up, then show up in white 😆

trashpanda_1 avatar
Raccoon panda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, you need a new bestie, because all this woman does is drag you down. She may have wanted to be the most beautiful in the room, but that day, her heart was the most hideous, already setting the trajectory for a heartbreaking divorce. A true bestie knows to get a life instead of competing with yours. You go find a man who embraces every inch of your beauty, inside and out, and doesn’t care about the scar, because you’re perfect to him. And if you don’t find one, that’s ok. Proceed to be the most fabulously interesting woman you can, and make a name for yourself! Build other people up, and they will love you for it. Your confidence, kindness, and fabulousness will make you a woman to be feared and adored by many. Forget that insecure nut job. Her hubby’s gonna realize quickly that he made a mistake. Unless he’s just like her. Oh, and next time a Bridezilla does that, pluck out her brows and draw the McDonald’s arches on her face. Then run far away.

lisahewes avatar
Lisa Hewes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Screw the bride. Even though she "apologizes" for her comments, she still repeatedly brings down poor OP out of pure jealousy. To be clear, feeling jealous over someone for any reason is a normal feeling, however it's how you act (or react) that makes all the difference. This "friend" sees OP as nothing more than a rival in her life and is using her to make herself feel superior. What a cr@ppy thing to do.

thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bride is a toxic a-hole for sure and her request is ridiculous, but I feel sorry for how insecure OP appears to be in her looks without make-up. That's not healthy. I hope she finds better friends who help lift up her confidence somewhat.

susiesmith avatar
Susie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she keeps with this "friend", no one decent would be and stay her friend. She nurtures her abuser. She needs serious therapy so she can get confidence in herself, her beauty, AND make better choices. She's with an ABUSER. She'll go for a male abuser if she doesn't kick abusive people out of her pathway. THERAPY.

Load More Replies...
chickpea avatar
Marc Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless she's your *only* friend, ditch the wedding, ditch her, block her number, unfriend her on FB and get on with your life. She's an emotional vampire.

kristakozak avatar
Krista
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if the bride is her only friend, she should end this friendship. Staying in an abusive relationship to avoid being alone/lonely is a terrible idea. This being a friend rather than romantic partner doesn't change that. This girl needs to immediately cut her frenemy out of her life (send her an email informing her that she's not going to be in the wedding, attending the wedding, or doing her makeup, and that she will be blocking her on all fronts. Give her a quick rundown of why -short, she doesn't care about OP/her reasons. Tell her to never contact her again; maybe call her a bad word - it's cathartic. Hit send and then block her email address. Do not respond to any contact). As she recovers from being abused for years, her confidence should increase and she may be more comfortable making new friends. Therapy would be a good idea so she can figure out why she feels she deserves to be treated like this as well as learn to love herself and see herself as beautiful and worthy.

Load More Replies...
leoninusfate avatar
Leoninus Fate
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have huge scars across my face, I don't hide them, but if I wanted to, No one would tell me if i couldn't, she didn't tell you to not wear makeup, she told you to not be comfy, she could have said don't wear lipstick or eyeshadow, no she pointed out "all face makeup" which means she wants you to show up with it and whats you to "look ugly/unpretty, not shadow her" FORGET HER

kristakozak avatar
Krista
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many people keep calling the bride "toxic". She's abusive. If we replaced "best friend" with "boyfriend" this would absolutely be called abuse. She doesn't get a pass because it's not a romantic relationship. There's an unbalanced power dynamic here, one person's self esteem being systematically eroded over time, no effort by the bride to stop/change her behavior, no actual remorse, zero respect, and the friend clearly taking great pleasure in humiliating and breaking another human being. OP is in an abusive relationship and really needs to get out of it. Recovering from emotional abuse takes a long time; you have a great day where you believe you're pretty, worthy of love/respect, smart, good person, etc, and then the little voice in your head pops in to replay all the horrible things you heard day after day, and you are back to square one. It's a long process of one step forward and three back. OP needs to get out and start therapy to heal and not blame herself for the abuse.

stephyg1980 avatar
Ms.GB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honey...you're insecurity is showing, you'd better go cover that up and not worry about me covering up my scar which is a much less unattractive flaw.

roserosee avatar
Rosie Cat
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl walk with your head held high, and exit stage left. That woman has never been your friend and never will be. Funny thing is even with makeup on and wearing a beautiful dress, her ugly insides will be on full display. You can do way better in the friendship department. I get the feeling the OP is beautiful and has no idea.

jonathanwest avatar
Jonathan West
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where the hell do people meet these types of people? Pure insanity.

susiesmith avatar
Susie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something in them attracts them. Diagnosis it and get rid of it with Therapy.

Load More Replies...
alchristensen avatar
Al Christensen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My plan for reducing bad marriages and divorces: Start a tradition of elaborate Center of Attention, Queen for a Day, Everyone Adores You, Please Please Validate Me, Princess Fantasy Days that have nothing to do with marriage. Let the women who crave such things get it out of their systems so they have a better chance of marrying for sane, realistic reasons — if at all.

dillhenricks avatar
Dill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like it, but chances are the same people will just keep coming back for more. There is something fundamentally lacking in them for some reason. In part I think it's because they lack self-esteem - people who are truly comfortable in themselves don't need validation and constant compliments from others. Yet it just comes across as arrogant arseholery on a grand scale! Whatever their reasons they aren't good friendship material and are best avoided.

Load More Replies...
edurnity22 avatar
Edurne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

skip the wedding?! I'd say skip the whole friendship! the bride is SÚPER toxic, you're definitely better off without her in your life

laurabrown_3 avatar
Laura Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Think about what you said: she tells others "pretty can be wiped away" and you're "ugly without makeup." Why would you continue being friends with this woman? She clearly is not a friend to you, but has used you and belittled you for your entire "friendship." She took advantage of your generosity while planning her wedding, then makes an unreasonable demand that you not wear makeup. You must, for your own peace, decline to participate in her wedding or attend, and find a better class of friend. True friends won't treat you like she has; they'll want you to feel confident and secure. This woman obviously doesn't. Her behavior toward you has been cruel and toxic, and will continue to be if you allow it.

alisa-fender avatar
Honu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's bad enough that this person tries to humiliate her about makeup on regular social occasions. Now she wants to do it in front of a big crowd of all their friends and have pictures taken, which she will likely display in her home for years. Walk away. She is toxic.

jennymichelle avatar
Jenny Michelle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but she can't possibly have a say in if you wear make-up or not ..she's being ridiculous and possibly showing signs of jealousy towards OP.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, and she is definitely neither your best friend nor a friend at all. It;s not even some light-hearted friendly rivalry, she's just being nasty to you. F**k her and her wedding.

jamiemcdonald avatar
Jamie Mcdonald
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder what she ended up doing. Looking at the embedded comments, they all say they're from 1 year ago.

alya_2 avatar
Alya
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Noticed and was looking to see if someone mentioned this lol But yeah I wonder also

Load More Replies...
c_devine avatar
Seedy Vine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nix the wedding, dump the friend, and invoice her for all that prep work you did for her wedding!

lisavalen avatar
Lisa Valen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sincerely doubt you would "overshadow' her at her wedding. Everyone will be looking at the bride, not the attendants. It's HER day. But I agree this girl is not your "best" friend. Especially if she has made disparaging remarks before. While she may have some self-esteem issues, she has no right to ask you, alone, to go bare-faced, especially when she knows you're self-conscious about your facial scar (no matter how minor). But I wonder how secure she's going to be in her marriage when the world is full of beautiful women, many of whom may indeed, "overshadow" her.

keerthivardhan avatar
Keerthi Vardhan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe it's their in-security, and lack of self-confidence. The bride seems to measure her worth with how other perceive her instead of how she perceives herself.

subtlenature avatar
Galadriel Init
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I checked in Reddit to see if there was an update about what happened, as this AITA Reddit post was from over a year ago. Didn't find anything. I certainly hope that in the end, she excluded herself from the wedding, didn't do the makeup, and moved on from that "friend" of hers.....

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best thing about getting older is that I find it so much easier to cut toxic people out of my life. Snip snip snippety snip!!!

betsymcdaniel1967 avatar
Betsy Mcdaniel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What happened? Did she attend or end? Post says it was a year ago. I hope she stood her ground against the tyrant.

robyngardam avatar
KombatBunni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ditch the b***h and move on. That’s not being a friend at all. She’s been at you for years and will likely keep going if you don’t give her the boot.

abbysmink avatar
abby smink
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem started way before the wedding. What kind of friend tells you that you look way better with makeup? No wonder this person doesn't have much self confidence, do doubt because of their "friend." And to put them on blast to potential mates? Horrid. They're better off without this person in their life and not sure why they haven't seen it before now.

peggy_4 avatar
Peggy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Four out of five of my bridesmaids were prettier, thinner and more accomplished than me. They were also my friends so I was proud of them and happy they could be there. My fifth bridesmaid was a close family member twenty years older than we were. I chose dresses that particularly flattered her, not that they didn't all look great in them. If you're marrying the right man you're the luckiest woman in the room. Isn't that enough?

lillukka79 avatar
Lillukka79
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not a friend, let alone best. Why do people stay with such toxic arses?

dannyboyvasquez_948473 avatar
Miah Shawn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you're around garbage too long, you stop smelling the stench. Poor woman has gotten used to the hateful and nasty comments from her "friend" and the wedding is just now opening her eyes to the fact that the horrible bride was never her friend to begin with.

Load More Replies...
suegendron avatar
mm65851
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How in the effin' world can this be your BEST friend???

elizabethsundby avatar
Elizabeth Sundby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is such a red flag. She's self-conscious and is taking it out on you. so my idea? refuse to do her makeup. or when you have a wedding just don't invite her.

zselyke_szekely avatar
UpupaEpops
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Genuine question: do men also act this way to each other? As a woman, I had "friends" like OP's, who I needed to cut out of my life for my own sake, but all of them were women. I usually get on really well with guys and gave never noticed this kind of shitty behaviour among them. But then again, maybe they are behaving themselves in front of me. Hence my question.

deb_14 avatar
Carrie de Luka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can answer that, yes I have met men who do. In fact two of the 'bitchiest' people I have ever met were both male (one is married to my sister). They seemed to revel in dragging others down. Their comments were always called, rather inaccurately, 'sarcasm' and waved away as banter. Toxicity doesn't have a gender I don't think.

Load More Replies...
ladylastarr avatar
Lady La'Starr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

FIRST OF ALL...A real friend would not make the comments she has been making thru out your friendship. She is insecure and vain. A real friend would help you embrace who you are. I would drop her and the wedding. She is toxic and thinks admitting her faults will excuse her actions. She is not your friend. She's a jealous biotch.

xtremesue avatar
Sue Mast-Bestward
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Think about if you had a daughter and her friend treated her that way! 🤔 would it be acceptable? Absolutely not! This is a huge red flag to end the friendship now!! You don't need someone in your life that keeps you 2 steps back ... btw tattoo your scar to blend into your skin tone... it really works l have done it on my leg ..

barbara_goudie avatar
Barbara Goudie-Bradford
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I specifically asked for my sisters hair to be similar to mine as I knew she’d try to dress down for my big day and wanted her to feel as good as I did. She was walking me down the aisle and I wanted her to look stunning. Why wouldn’t you want your MOH and bestie to look their best. Toxic witch!!

sonyaatencio avatar
Sonya Atencio
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you ever wondered if she may be the REASON ur still single. These kind of toxic chicks are usually pretty cunning sabotageurs... just sayin

sonyaatencio avatar
Sonya Atencio
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you ever wondered if she may need the REASON you're still single? Those kind of toxic chicks are usually cunning sabotageurs, just sayin.

austinaxley avatar
Austin Axley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it was just during the wedding I'd say wear just something to cover the scar and ignore it because weddings are a lot of pressure (which I personally think is ridiculous but that's neither here nor there) but the admission that her jealousy and insecurity goes way beyond this is disturbing. Equally disturbing is the fact that she feels she has to put her friends down to make herself feel better. The internet is a place for overreacting so I'm not going to advise breaking off the friendship over it. Everyone has a personality trait that is unattractive and can be toxic in large doses; yes EVERYONE, and if you're thinking "well *I* certainly don't" then I'd suggest you start having some deeper more personal convos with your friends because the key to healthy friendships is not to not have toxic personality traits but to know what yours are and recognize when they're affecting your friends so that you can apologize.

georgiegal avatar
Georgie Gal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know of one single true friend who would want you to look your worst (whether or not true) just so they can look their best. And to insult you (BS apologies btw) whenever you get attention because she's jealous? That's not a friend, that's the high school pretty girl who tries to keep all her friends around her who aren't as pretty as her just so she can look better than everyone else. Need to tell her to get bent. And to show that I can be TA, I would also wait until the last minute (a.k.a Day of I Do) with a contract that says "I will do your makeup for a price, but discounted (like 2%) because we're friends." Because she needs to pay for being such a punk a b. Oh, and don't worry. Those ugly attitudes are only held up by Botox and plastic surgery. Your natural beauty will always shine brighter than her stanky attitude.

susiesmith avatar
Susie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman is MEAN to you and SELFISH and is NOT YOUR FRIEND. Sounds like she NEVER HAS BEEN, much less, TRULY. It's good you helped her with wedding duties while she insults you. Clearly she thinks rudeness, emotional harm and a low class attitude are routinely acceptable behaviors. But they're NOT. Usually we hear cautionary tales about MEN being cruelly control obsessed. BUT THIS BRIDEZILLA takes it?? REALLY!!! WHAT EXACTLY do you glean from your "friendship" with her that makes this relationship so important to you?? SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. THAT you're willing to GIVE her a BEAUTIFUL GIFT of your skills and artistic professional talents to beautify her (on the outside) is truly a friend. But WHAT COMPELS YOU to do this for someone who has only disdain for you? She's an abuser WITHOUT CONSCIENCE OR REMORSE. BUT YOU enable her. Walk away from this wedding and bride, and CLOSE the chapter. And eagerly open doors to NEW REAL FRIENDS. And DON'T do her makeup. You've given enough. 👍👍❗

rose_ann_fisher avatar
Rose Ann Fisher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman is no friend of yours if she is singling you out by forbidding you from wearing makeup and not the rest of the bridal party. You can tell her that you are a professional and wearing makeup is part of who you are. A nurse or a teacher doesn’t stop being what they are to be in a bridal party. Ask her why she is treating you differently from the rest of the bridal party. You can tell her that she will have to do her own makeup or find another makeup artist.

elainedulecki avatar
Elaine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman isn't your friend. She's an abusive, manipulative bully. In no way should you wearing makeup make this woman feel less than- and she obviously does- or she wouldn't be demanding that you not wear it. Please find another warm,considerate friend who edifies and builds you up. This is a toxic relationship and I hope you listen to the readers and commenter here and just drop out with no contact. Definitely NTA!!

klam avatar
K Lam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She only thanked her to then punch her in the gut w yet another horrible put down. Move on from this friendship it's toxic

lindapowder avatar
Linda Powder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man, I would just wear the makeup, and if the B had a meltdown about it, I'd just leave, and permanently dump her insecure a*s. Who needs a "friend" like THAT.

kathryn-nordquist avatar
Yay Pandas!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why the bride is doing this. Asking OP to not wear makeup would show up her scar and make her more noticeable and not less. Especially since OP said she would tone down her makeup and make the bride's makeup look good. In any case, I agree with everyone else. Dump this woman, she is not your friend.

jcocabunny avatar
Judi Gardnner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bored Panda us where to go to have people pile on with how one has been wronged. It can justify our reactions to be able to think "all these people agree with me". I wonder if you ever defend her when people called her "the ugly one?" (Did this generate the makeup comments?). Therefore while "no makeup" seems extreme, if you are talented enough to Ru Paul yourself --asking not to be the ugly one at her own wedding (even with doing her face) might support her in this big step. Is it about you continuing to be the most beautiful, or feelings of loss as her husband may become her best friend?

paulajwynn avatar
Paula Wynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My BFF is a gorgeous blonde who was voted "Best Looking" in our senior class. We've been friends since we were 9, we're now in our 50s. I have never, in all those years, felt insignificant to her. She would NEVER say the ugly things that Bridezilla said. THAT woman is NOT your friend!

jesi avatar
sugardog3482
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ditch that shitty excuse of a friend, she’ll only drag you down. I know you didn’t want to end it, but it’ll hurt you more if you don’t.

dev_4 avatar
Dev
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your story broke my heart, bringing me to tears as if a close friend told me their partner had been physically abusive for years. The person you have given the honored title of best friend to blatantly disrespects and abuses you making herself the most vile and disgusting creature. The fact you would allow it continue for years speaks volumes to how little you value yourself and my heart cries for you. This isn't about her at all, it's about you. You felt the need to say you are not asking how to end the relationship because every one in your life has already asked you to end it but you are looking for an alternative because you believe you deserve her bitterness and scorn. So I just want to ask you one question, why are your feelings all of a sudden important? You allow her to crush your feelings, heart and beauty in every regard, every day, so why take your stand now? Answer that my beauty and you will know what you need to do, if you can only find the courage.

dev_4 avatar
Dev
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, if you were my best friend I wouldn't let you wear makeup to my wedding either. I would want to make sure everyone there saw the true beauty of the woman I loved the most in the world as you stood next to me. I would want everyone to see the truth of your beautiful heart and your beautiful face. I would make sure even a blind man would know that to me, no one was more beautiful than you. Not on the inside or the out. You are perfect just the way you are because you are my best friend and I love you.

Load More Replies...
kalliebarrett avatar
kallie barrett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she'd be happy if you did the work, then didn't show up for her 'big day'. On what planet is this woman your friend, when no one else can see you? I seriously advise you to get a therapist who can tell you this friend is abusive and your insecurity leads you to allow it. :/

marybaumer avatar
Mary Baumer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, she doesn't realize what a good friend she has. She will when it's gone.

jacw avatar
JAC W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman has never been your true friend, no true friend would ever say the things she has to you and men that have been attracted to you, let alone the no make up wedding thing.

larrywhalen avatar
Larry Whalen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA; there is an old saying, "While Beauty is only skin deep, Ugly, however is to the Bone" And this is ultimately True for your. 'friend', since for her the "ugly" lies beneath the surface, in that her "friendship" is a facade, as she appears to be both jealous and resentful of you, not only your looks but also your personality. Young Lady, don't let an 'insignificant' scar belittle your opinion of yourself nor your inner beauty, nor for that matter what I believe to be a 'Toxic Personallity' disguised as a friend, in your Life. People such as this need people such as yourself to subtly demean in order to inflate their self worth and esteem as well as their "power" over someone they perceive to be in competition with on multiple levels. My belief is she desires to "UNMASK" you publicly in order to show that you cannot compete with her on a physical 'level'; and as an example I offer your own comment as to her (maliciously) yet oh so subtly stating how you looked Without makeup.

tarryn_louise avatar
Tarryn Louise
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your friend is a straight up B.I.T.C.H.... I am sorry that you have so much love for her ......the rose coloured glasses you are wearing have you a little bit blind to how bad it really is and we all here know you have not even told us everything. I am sure it has been horrible throughout the years. Ditch her.

weathermonger1 avatar
Donna Harris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would you want to be friends with someone who sabatoges you at every turn...telling people that basically you aren't pretty unless you have makeup on. A true friend wouldn't do that ...AND....would understand about your insecurity concerning your scar. You "friend" is a jealous...if she's comfortable being such a bitc# in front of you, what does she say when you aren't around.

anjalijeter avatar
Anjali Jeter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, this toxic mess is anything but friendship. I'd even go as far as calling this abuse. The OP needs to reconnect her backbone to her brain and stop taking cr*p from this so-called 'friend.' Actual friends support you and raise you up - all this one is doing is pulling her down and making her feel insecure about herself. She deserves better and the best thing she could do here is nope right out of this situation. Let this bridezilla find someone else to use as a doormat.

minetruly avatar
Mine Truly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP, you already sound like a lovely person who is struggling with insecurity. If you spend this friendship, please at least make a new friend, someone who builds your confidence and boost your self-esteem instead making your insecurity worse. Find someone who treats you the way you treat your friends. I worry that you've grown up in an abusive household since you don't see how unacceptable your "best friend's" years of jealous put-downs have been. You might consider getting group therapy (I find it much more validating than one on one therapy) to address whatever it is that's keeping you from enjoying the full, healthy friendships you deserve.

lblsj65 avatar
Liz-ard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree to all comments about the bride is not a friend and should be dumped as such by MOH. BUT the MOH clearly say she doesn’t want to break their friendship. Then: if MOH is a makeup artist as - she claim - she should be able to take her own makeup down without not wear any at all. Use discrete earth colours, don’t put on layer after layer of mascara, use a lighter natural color lipstick … as a makeup artist she CAN make a “nude” face makeup! Other wise she need to back down from the title as artist.

jekodama avatar
JessRS
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd say sure, no problem, then go MIA on the day of the wedding. Let Bridezilla figure that one out!

sd_9 avatar
S D
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go to the wedding. Wear makeup but the "no makeup" look just cuz you got more heart than her and you still care about her even tho she doesnt give a c**p about you. Tell her that this is how it will be for the day and she needs to accept and move on or else she needs to find a last minute emergency bridal makeup artist. Do her makeup beautifully. Grab her by her shoulders look her dead in the eye and tell her. " B***h you are beautiful. I forgive you for being so awful to me. But today this stops. I don't want to lose our friendship. You need to accept your beauty and own it for the sake of your marriage, future and the daughter you may have one day with this man. Do you want your daughter to be insecure or do you want her to love herself no matter who is around her? " Tell her you love her and it's time to grow up and if she wants, u guys can do gym or skincare journey together so she can build up her confidence. Tell her you wait for her to become her most beautiful self inside and out and are willing to stay her friend thru that journey. NOW... if this lady reacts foul in any way let her go for Christ's sake! U aren't helping her be a better person by staying. If she loses a friend she might stop and examine herself and make changes. But if you keep sucking down this horrid treatment she'll stay the garbage person she is. Ppl like that don't deserve friends.*** MIC DROP***

pwebb avatar
P Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. You should agree, then show up with a fully made-up face. Let her turn you away from the wedding with witnesses... if she dares. Oh and and the friendship.

uchechipeters avatar
Uchechi Peters
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

hazeldw avatar
Hazel DW
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why were you friends with her another minute after such nasty remarks to men about your make-up? Friends don't do that, and most certainly not more than once. The fact that she chose you to be MOH considering the way she has treated you in the past speaks volumes about her. Is no one else willing to put up with her snarky comments? Don't walk away, run.

mariebelladonna avatar
Marie BellaDonna
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs to dump that "friend". Because she's NOT being a friend. I've been there, too. I met my ex-best friend in math class, in the beginning of our senior year of high school. For 20 years, we were like peas and carrots. But after she came out of the air force, gave birth to her son, and divorced her husband, she completely changed. She became an angry person, a complete Karen, a total helicopter mom, and an absolute one-upper, as well as a pathological liar, all rolled into one. And her son was a horrible, spoiled brat. I stayed much longer than I should have, because I didn't think it was entirely her fault. I knew that her traumatic childhood, and her time in the Air Force (she joined RIGHT before 9/11) had mentally screwed her up. And we'd grown up together. I loved her like a sister. So I put up with a lot of abuse. But when she threw me and my then 6yo son out of her house, which was at least 20 miles from my own, after dark, with no ride home, enough was enough. I had to cut ties. It hurt like hell. It still does, 7 years later. I still miss her to this day. I always will. I will always love her, and I will always wish her the best. But I had to walk away. And I'd do the same thing, all over again. People change. Sometimes it's our friends who change. And sometimes it's us who change. Sometimes we change because of them. When dealing with toxic "friends", there comes a time, when you realize you can only support someone so much. When even 20 years of irreplaceable history doesn't matter. When you cut a person that toxic out of your life, the peace of mind that follows, is worth the pain of losing them, and the sadness of looking back on fond memories of better times. OP needs to cut ties with HER toxic "friend". Because she is not a real friend. I know it's hard. But the weight lifted off her shoulders will be far greater than the weight of her sadness. I know. I've lived it.

killua_84 avatar
Lunar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why OP still a friend with the bride when the bride is so toxic on multiple occasions

candiceshort87 avatar
Candice Blanton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alot of people have already said this person is not your friend, so, I won't say it. What she is is controlling and manipulative. She has treated this way for so long you don't even see it anymore. She does these things to make herself feel better because she is insecure. Back out of the wedding and take a break from your "Friend". And she needs to find someone else to do her make up. After you do this, watch what happens next. I bet you it won't surprise you.

maggieboombolt avatar
Maggie Hood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her "friend" is really jealous and mean about your appearance and she constantly puts you down. F**k her and f**k her wedding.

jaybird3939 avatar
Jaybird3939
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I had a friend and I knew she was uncomfortable without make-up, the LAST thing I would do is ask her to go without it. What an awful, self-centered person to not only tell you not to wear make-up, but then willingly accepting that you'll do hers for free. I also don't understand "the only pretty one on my wedding day". I'd think of my wedding day as a big party, celebrating my union, and everyone looks as good, different, tattooed, rainbow hair, etc. as they want.

conniemiller-fender avatar
Connie Miller -Fender
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no friendship to end. She is not your friend. No friend would EVER tell someone you look bad without make up.

sarah-cope1990 avatar
#iwriteitall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She knows your unconfident about your scar she knows your not comfortable without makeup she knows how SHES made you feel about makeup because of the nasty comments SHE has made as your best friend she shouldn't even consider putting you through such trauma why oh why would you want to hurt someone you supposedly love so much emotionally, Hun she is no friend let alone a best friend jealousy is a horrific trait and one she obviously has I would never ever want to hurt someone I love so much she could ask you to tone it down I guess but I wouldn't even be comfortable doing that knowing how you would feel it maybe her wedding but that doesn't give her narcasistic self the right to put you through such a traumatic emotionally mentally degrading experience for her selfishness, Hun cut her out because there is someone out there who would love to be your best friend and put you on the pedostall you deserve and lift you up both internally and to everyone you may meet

mkhickman3225 avatar
Katy Hickman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh OP… best friend? Honey no. That is the worst friend. Please know your worth and do yourself a favor and end the “friendship “. You were the only friend involved anyway. Don’t go to the wedding.

rosalind-ellen1 avatar
Mark It/Its
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the fact that everyone else but op is allowed to wear makeup that's getting to me. A blanket rule affecting all of the bridal party would be fair enough but for her to specifically exclude op is really rubbing me up the wrong way

brandypuddin avatar
Brandy Puddin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That friend is so insecure and immature. The fact that she is so jealous of her friend that she is making such a ridiculous request of her is alarming in itself. The bride to be can't be trusted and she is definitely intentionally setting her friend up to look like raggedy-Anne just to make herself feel better. With friends like that, you don't need any enemies!!

ymdd67 avatar
Yvette Davis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are in an abusive relationship. *insult- compliment- potshots - just joking.* Classic verbal and emotional abuse. Sweetie please run for the hills.

fortunalaf avatar
Fortuna Laf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was this article like a year ago? Anyway... I would have cursed her a*s out and I wouldn't had showed up to her wedding along with doing her damn makeup... I guess both of us would have been a*s out of make up ... only difference my a*s would have been in my bed while she is saying I do lol... that would have been hilarious... maybe I'm different but ain't no one gonna talk and down grade me even with a scar on my face... ijs. I wish my friends or BFF would did or said some that sh*t to me...her life would have been fu*ked up. Or I would have showed up with make up on... cause that would have probably be the last day we would ever be friends anyway. Ya home girl jealous of you period and you don't need that energy in ya life!!!

roxschaf avatar
Roxanne Littlefield
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pull out of this charade with this abusive b***h! Ghost her a*s! She is no friend, let alone a best friend!!!

austinaxley avatar
Austin Axley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As to the wedding, if she really is your best friend and you are as good a friend as you sound in the post then I think you will ultimately be upset with yourself for not being there to support her, if there's a way to blend out just your scar while keeping the rest natural then I think that's a fair compromise. I think this is also a decision that could be made without your friend's knowledge, you'd be obeying the spirit of her wishes without compromising your own confidence too much. If she says anything about it I would just say that you thought it was fair and that you didn't want to overburden her with your needs on her big day. That's both honest and shows that your thinking about her needs.

austinaxley avatar
Austin Axley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I'd advise is that she sit her down (after the wedding of course, regardless of whether this behavior is preexisting she's got enough on her plate right now) and talk about how she sympathizes with her insecurities, but that making other people feel worse is not a healthy way for them to feel better. Explain that if they need reassurance of their worth they should look to their friends and husband and not to the mean comments of strangers. If she's receptive to it then great, that's a good friend! If not then it sounds like she's not really concerned with anyone's feelings but her own, and that's not really a friend. Regardless of how much you care for them if they don't care about you that's ultimately a destructive relationship that needs to end, but I've found this is rarely the case, sometimes people who value you just get a little too wrapped up in themselves to see that they're hurting those that support them and part of being a friend is being willing to work through that.

heathervance avatar
AzKhaleesi
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is absurd. I never asked any of my bride's maids anything but their opinion on color / dress. Out side of that I told them do you boo. Hair, makeup, nails whatever. My only request was no one wear white. My brother and his wife showed up in Onsie Pajamas and my sister in law was in a jaw dropping cocktail dress. (Christmas wedding) I loved every second of it. You need new friends love.

jandipalermo avatar
Jan DiPalermo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need to drop out of the wedding party completely. This Bride is not a friend of yours. She is inconsiderate, stingy and most of all not your friend. Thank her and say no thanks.

bartoszadamek avatar
Bartosz Adamek
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn, it keeps suprising me how petty and shallow some people can be

burnnoticefan189 avatar
Tiffany Armstrong
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she was really your friend, she wouldn't treat you like c**p! Dump her!!!

susanbarker avatar
Susan Barker
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bride is a narcissist. Not a friend. Anyone who has treated you the way she has needs to be abandoned. She is abusive and enjoys using the power you have given her to control you. What are you getting out of this friendship? There must be something. Or has she has beaten you down so far that you actually believe on some level that you deserve her abuse? The abuse is not your fault. It is motivated by her needs, and sense of entitlement . She does not care about you or your feelings, you are just an object to her. I bet she gaslights too. Save your self, she is damaging you. And please do not enter into any other relationships until you recognize narcissistic abuse and understand how very destructive such a relationship (friendship OR love) is for the victim. Because that is what you are...her victim, not her friend.

patinielsen avatar
Pati Carter-Nielsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is not your friend! She is a passive aggressive mean girl. She takes advantage of you when she needs you and then to the curb you go.

sunshine-aoc avatar
Lemonclouds20
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wear your best face, take her thunder. You deserve the attention your Friend is jealous and insecure, she has no right to put you down the way she does.

kerrypage avatar
Kerry Page
Community Member
1 year ago

Aww, bless you. Literally just walk away out of her life... You deserve genuine people in your life.

hmoore_1 avatar
H M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd just agree with her and turn up wearing makeup. Incredible that someone worries about "friends" looking better....not a friend actually.

mimi2129 avatar
Robin Christie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is ABSOLUTELY NOT YOUR FRIEND. Sounds like a insecure, immature and jealous person. I would back out and let someone else do her makeup. She will probably disinvite you to the Wedding. Everyone can wear makeup...but you? Adios Chica!!

dontlook avatar
Don't Look
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reads like a bad hallmark movie. Why be friends with someone who is that insecure? Actually, who is she marrying? If the fiancé knows she’s that insecure he might want her to get therapy before being stuck with someone that … horrible.

dakotaball avatar
Kota Ball
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like how my old "best friend" used to say that I would reel people in with my looks but her personality is what made them stay (when we were out clubbing, etc) and would do backhanded s**t like this all time. Drop the narcissist, feel better about yourself. Additionally, this "friend" of mine also dropped me when I was in rehab and working on my mental health and had done literally nothing to her except always show up for her. She helped me get there and then said "cutting ties is better you're an awful person" (essentially) and went behind my back to try and tell my parents (we are adults) lies she made up about how awful I was. She had a pattern of ditching people the minute they tried to improve their own lives. And by pattern I mean about 6 friends of ours before me and her girlfriends

leslieagostino avatar
Leslie Agostino
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dump the bride. She is a very insecure being whose only goal in life is to drag other people, you, through the mud to make her miserable self feel better. She is a toxic self centered narcissistic. Walk away, go no contact and live your best life. You deserve it. Never let anyone put you down. Do Not waste your energy. They are not worth it. You are.

jackieaddington7 avatar
Jackie Addington
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA You are beautiful! Beauty comes from the heart. Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. When you do, none of them will notice the scar. They will encourage you to be you whether you wear makeup or not. Remove toxic so called friend. You need to realize you owe her nothing. Sever it and move forward. You will find when toxin is removed you become healthier. Does it hurt? Yes, but not for long. Keep going forward and dream big! You have a lot of people rooting you on!

brenarosethorn avatar
Brena RoseThorn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She never was your friend. A true friend doesn't put you down all the time. She sounds toxic. No your not wrong. I wouldn't have gone either. I know how it feels to not like things about yourself so if your not ready to show everyone your scar then that's quite alright. She should be greatful that you helped at all. So No you ANTA

jonathannichols avatar
Jonathan Nichols
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this is her *best* friend, what the hell do her other friends do to her? No wonder she has no confidence

toriohno avatar
tori Ohno
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so heartbreaking for me to read. This is me and my BFF (or so I thought) from years ago. Raised together, called each other sisters, etc. Until we graduated high school and she went to cosmetology school. She and her new "BFF" were talking about going out Friday night, new friend from school is seriously fugly BTW. They claimed that me and another girl couldn't be invited "They're too pretty" they said. Didn't know I was there to hear. Was I MOH? No. I was too pretty. Dump this person NOW, she's not worth your time.

roopaghosh06 avatar
Roopa Ghosh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never heard of a "best friend" who makes catty remarks like, "You should see her without make-up" to one's potential date. Ouch! I think you are rather too simple and forgiving to have been her pal for so long in spite of this. Even now, you are actually wondering if you are being the cruel one for being hurt by her demands! By the way, I also feel you lack self confidence in your looks. Make up should enhance, not completely transform one's looks. I am sure that scar is really minor and you can gradually tone down your makeup till you get to a more natural look. We don't need to be apologetic for any marks or "blemishes"! I am sure you are lovely as you are. That toxic "friend" of yours needs to see it too. Good luck to life without her jealousy.

skylarjaxx avatar
Skylar Jaxx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She doesn't want to end the friendship Stockholm syndrome oh my!!!! That's abuse babes!

saltae950 avatar
Saltea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her 'ugliness' comes from her mean behavior and lack of confidence, that's a toxic friend and i hope op reconsider continuing the friendship as it seems like the relationship doesn't benefit her

ebonye_ avatar
Ebony E.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for OP. She doesn't deserve that treatment, and she should stand up for herself. Don't show up to the wedding, don't contact her, and delete her number.

jennifer_szuter avatar
Jennifer Szuter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your "friend" is not your friend. She is evidently many other things, but a true friend, as she said, would want you to look and feel your best, and would never throw you under the bus in the way she continues to do so as evidenced by your story. Please stand up for yourself, and follow the advise of commenters here: either wear the natural looking makeup, or excuse yourself from the ceremony and all other obligations to her. She is unreasonable, at best.

matteocaputo avatar
Matteo Caputo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wear your make up and go to the wedding, if she asks you to leave then it's on her.

kristinepark avatar
Kristine Park
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve been in a friendship that’s exactly like this (sans the “no makeup at my wedding” request, I just wasn’t invited but…) you’re friend is a narcissist, maybe borderline but it sounds like everything’s got to be about her & how fantastic she is, plus she’s a little jealous of you which is probably why you’re besties (think “keep your enemies closer…”) but you don’t have to completely end your friendship it’s just really bad timing on her part. When my friend asked me to work for her I made it very clear that (since it was her & her husband’s place + I knew it would eventually become an issue but, as long as she respected me, I’d always be her friend but no matter… I’ve GOT to work. 4yrs later I’m still working, they’re divorced & yes we’re still friends. Key word there is RESPECT. This person has 0 for you but it’s not too late to save the friendship if she’s willing to bend if not, I’d tell her to start looking for a makeup person & enjoy since you’ll be relaxing on an island!

dewonabridges avatar
Dewona Bridges
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What you permit persists. Make your decision about you and not her. Wear your makeup as her guest if you wish or wear your make up at home. No more explaining yourself.

almarako94 avatar
Almarako94
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At the moment she asked you to come without makeup you should have said goodbye and turn around.

leighannfleming avatar
Leigh Ann Fleming
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is really terrible that she treats you that way, obviously she is very insecure and she didn't want you wearing makeup because, she has the problem, I'm sure you are beautiful with or without makeup, but her, she doesn't deserve your friendship, that would be the last draw for her, really, how hurtful she is!

ruthr_h_u avatar
Ruth R.H.U
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course she is not your friend, and you need your head examined if you are serious about not ending the relationship. I mean, what on earth do you need her in your life for? Is she paying your bills? The " friendship" will end when she tires of tormenting you, ( probably after she has done all she can to ruin your life) or you could just choose to end it now and walk away from that witch with dignity and strength, on your own terms. If you really want to mess her up, go for the wedding with makeup on and after that never speak to her again 🙂. Also, please don't feel obligated to get her a wedding gift. She is not and has never been your friend. Don't be desperate, cut her off. In any relationship the person who breaks up first, wins. Let that be you. There will be other friends, real ones.

waril-debbie avatar
loona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That bride is Not a friend. Dump the wedding. Dump her.

darklily1369 avatar
Tanwen de Heydon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please reconsider this "friendship". She is NOT a friend. You deserve to be treated with respect and compassion. Drop out of the wedding, drop her like a hot potato and do you.

kylealton avatar
Kyle Alton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a POS. There's no positive reason or benefit to being "friends" with her or having any sort of relationship. Idk why you do. Friends lift each other up not s**t on each other constantly and apologize without doing anything to fix it.

jason_carson avatar
Jason Carson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If thays the kind of friend you have ,dump her and ill be your friend. Hell ill be your BEST FRIEND and ill say not one word about your looks or lack of. Shes tacky and spiteful and she's only your friend because she wants what she can get from the relationship. I've had "friends like that and they aren't worth the bull they bring to my life. My friends know we can depend on each other and say the honest truth to each other and we says its with love that I tell you this... find a better bestie.

jeanettescott avatar
thefaithfulspouse
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It just came to me...agree to her terms, show up at the wedding WITH makeup, when she throws a tantrum, leave WITHOUT doing her makeup.

weakknees avatar
Weak Knees
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother used to say, "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone." No matter how you doll her up, your friend's actions have proven her ugly indeed.

kkermes avatar
Kim Kermes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm thinking malicious compliance, myself, but I have a mean streak. If you don't decide to call the whole thing off, point out all the attention you'll get as "Sacarface", which is probably how she'd see you, and no civilized person would.

gabrielgawrada avatar
Gabriel Gawrada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, Sinkvenice already posted my thoughts. You've made it clear that you don't want to end this 'friendship'. This woman is not your friend, she is toxic and you are enabling her continued abuse. That you have allowed this for some time indicates you two are codependent, locked into a repeating cycle of her abuse and your apparent need to be abused. Sorry, neither of you are healthy. If you don't value yourself, at least do the decent thing and warn her fiance.

camaroaustin avatar
Keisha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't have to stop being her BFF because clearly in her eyes you are competition,not a friend.If it's one sided that's not a friendship.If it were me I wouldn't say a word in response to her message.I would block her number,on social media and once her big day gets there just don't show up to do her makeup not to the wedding.Find something to do on that day so you won't be home when she inevitably sends someone over to see why you aren't there to do her makeup or or do your MOH duties.You have given enough time and energy on someone that treats you horribly. Cut your losses with bridezilla and find someone worthy of your friendship.

fliconmigo avatar
Rachel Betancort
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She isn't your friend. Get out of this toxic relationship now. Do not go to her wedding. She is petty and ridiculous.

ybutler avatar
Yvonne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is a frenemy. Walk away and let her sort herself out. You do not need her toxicity. I wouldn’t go to her wedding either. You don’t owe her anything

kerry-mccollough avatar
tecolote
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bride is a selfish, vindictive person who's as deep as a kiddie pool. Bag her, the wedding and don't look back.

natalybills avatar
VogueGal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs new friends. Whilst I don't understand nor condone women wearing tons of make-up as they usually look incredibly different without it, this lady (OP) has justified reason. If makeup makes her feel good about herself and suppress her insecurities, then it's no one business, not even the bride to be.

angelmatthews avatar
Angela
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't read this post just want to know if we will ever see posts about brides who are kind, unselfish and remind people why people get married????

suzn34 avatar
Susan Bosse
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holy cow. This girl is NOT the OP's friend. I can guarantee that the OP's insecurities are the only reason they are even "friends" at all. The bride keeps the OP around to have a punching bag. Continuously pointing out what she knows are the OP's insecurities are just plain old b***h moves. Apologies don't mean Jack if the behavior continues. Someone who is TRULY sorry would have stopped the behavior after the first or second time the OP expressed how this hurt her. The bride is ugly on the inside and mean spirited. These things make you ugly on the outside. Tell her your wedding AND PARTING gifts are the work you've done to help with her wedding and then walk away. WALK. AWAY. Well...RUN. RUN FAR FAR AWAY.

coughity10 avatar
coughity10
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most f**ked up part about the entire article is that these people still have the balls to consider each other friends. That's not friendship. I feel like that shouldn't need to be explained.

praecordia avatar
Alma Muminovic
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s some psycho s**t. I think you should just not go and dont do her make up either. That’s some jealous petty ridiculous behavior that honestly she should be embarrassed about even asking or saying out loud. I had a friend that uninvited me from her birthday party because I made a joke she didn’t like. I said fine. Day of party I get a message from her your really not coming? Nope, really not. You need to cut behavior like that right off because the fact that she thinks its ok for her to do that is cause you let her.

lorieverard avatar
Lori Everard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Listen to what everybody is saying. You have the right to set boundaries. You have the right to be respected and treated with kindness. This behavior of hers is not directed at just you. She does this to other friends and her own family. This is emotional blackmail: " if you love me then you should do this for me," whatever "this" is. Apparently, no one has ever said no to her. Say it with me, "I'm allowed to set boundaries, I deserve to be respected, I deserve to be treated with kindness." The bridezilla isn't doing any of those things for you. Get out now, BEFORE the wedding. If you go, you will be miserable.

madelinetanseybryson avatar
madeline tansey bryson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You say you don't want to end this friendship but like everyone else is saying, you should and you must she will not get any better she will continue being a mean nasty person but you need to look at why you feel like this about her. I believe you need some sort of help especially because you think you need to keep her friendship. Why isn't she telling everyone else not to wear makeup. Why just you? Seriously sweetie get yourself some help. Don't go to her wedding as a moh. Go as a guest of you want. I don't think you should but at least you could wear makeup. Good luck

juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, if she points out your looks like that she is NOT your friend let alone "best" friend. GTFO NOW.

juanitastanton avatar
Lost Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman fight for equality yet woman don't accept each other, this person is not your friend, surround yourself with those who accept, encourage and empower you

megan_tyler_dahle avatar
StayClassy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl -- she has spent this entire "friendship" trying to keep you down. On the other side - with true firends - without her - imagine how you could flourish! I know it's hard to see now, but she is holding you back because of her own pain and insecurities.

xeyetay994 avatar
jessica nora
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Making money online more than $15k just by doing simple work from home. I have received $18376 last month. Its an easy and simple job to do and its earnings are much better than regular office job and even a little child can do this and earns money. Everybody must try this job by just use the info on this page… 🙂 AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====)> 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐛𝐳.𝐜𝐨𝐦

nathanalarcon avatar
Nathan Alarcon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have told her to fein COVID just to get out of going and like everyone else is saying re-evaluate your friendship after.

katrinac avatar
Myxomatosis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should she fake anything? Lying, whether white or harmless fibs, are STILL LIES and will make her look as bad as the bride. As a general rule doing the right thing, although usually the most painful, is ALWAYS the RIGHT thing to do.

Load More Replies...
julberg68 avatar
Juliebug
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think no one has pointed out the obvious... This MOH is turning to social media to "get help" with her dilemma but obviously she isn't a good friend either. When you're friends with someone for several years any issues you have need to be dealt with privately. To me her post seems more like attention seeking behavior. Yes her friend seems to have some self-esteem issues and is maybe being a bit bridezilla. Either work this out between the two of you right now or stop being friends right now.

merabag880 avatar
Teresa995
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I make more then $12,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it… 🙂 AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====) www.fuljobz.com

liseri3878 avatar
jessica johns
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I d it outit.. HERE ?? copy the link.... 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐛𝐳.𝐜𝐨𝐦

weiserhouse avatar
Irish Lad
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

NTA as everyone is saying. She is TAH. But at some point you have to face reality. So I'll be TA. You say you lack self confidence. If I'm dating a girl, I want to date the real girl. I don't want a push-up bra or padded pants. I also want to know what the girl looks like. I have seen girls where I actually have asked myself, "I wonder what she looks like without makeup?" So maybe not at this wedding for your nonfriend but down the road, try a night out without makeup. You might be surprised that people like you for being you.

ingo_3 avatar
lapis lazuli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

how many times do girls have to say this. so what if a girl likes makeup or push up bras. she wears them because it makes her feel beautiful. it's not about how you feel. a girl doesn't have to wear exactly what you want, because she is in charge of her own body and your comments really don't matter. also tbh this explains why you don't have a girlfriend. make sure you tell a girl that you only like "natural girls" so she knows to avoid you

Load More Replies...
mcbridget99 avatar
Gretchen Barone
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

What the c**p.... this is from one year ago on Reddit anyway. Come on Bored Panda....sheesh.

juanjo_1 avatar
Juanjo
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

somehow, in a tiny toxic way, the bride has a point. imo, if they really are friends, and being the moh an artist in makeup, they could find a middle ground. allow her to wear enough make up to cover the scar, and a light (no brillant colors) as a general make up. no red lips, no dark eyes, etc (I'm a man, i have no idea about make up). if the maid is honestly concerned about her confidence, she doesn't need to be a beacon with the amount of makeup and color choices, but good enough to feel safe and let the bride to be the main point of attraction on her special day. if the bride is a true friend, she would allow this.

anneasephillips avatar
Annease Phillips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She already proposed that to the bride and the bride still said no. No makeup and that only applies to OP

Load More Replies...
itisdarkestbeforedawn78 avatar
Beck
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Not that its matters, but this was on Reddit over a year ago.

sinkvenice_1 avatar
Sinkvenice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't about make up. Your friend is incredibly toxic and you need to end that friendship ASAP. I have no idea why some girls behave like this in their friendships and get away with it. There's no way I'd allow someone to put me down all the time, especially in front of others. If you wouldn't allow a boyfriend toy treat you this way, you sure as hell shouldn't allow a friend to.

kristakozak avatar
jihana avatar
Jihana
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, dump that b*tch. When one of my best friends got married I was the MOH. I've been wearing black for over 20 years now, I am fat, and I am not a girly girl, so I am not comfortable in dresses. Guess what? My friend said I should just wear whatever I am comfortable in, even black, even though thst is considered bad luck. Her only request was that I don't wear white. THAT is what a friend is - or just a normal and reasonable human being.

alexandra_rocheleau avatar
Allie Rocheleau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the day of my wedding, I thought my bridesmaids have never looked more beautiful. I was happy to let each of them shine, and didn't feel that anyone would be comparing them to me.

Load More Replies...
jlkooiker avatar
lenka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so sorry. I know you said you did not want to end the friendship, but this is NOT what friendship looks like. True friends support you, encourage you, praise you and boast about how beautiful and talented your make up is. You need a new friend.

carolynpepsipromo avatar
meepmeep
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a friend growing up that would always put me down. It was done in a manipulative way, and if I ever called her out, she would gaslight me. She was beautiful, but she unfortunately had pretty bad acne. Literally every guy I knew liked her, but the guys who liked me were fewer. She would point out how the guys that she knew I liked actually liked her, but in her manipulative way where I couldn't call her out. I was really insecure, but having a friend who put me down like that was toxic for me. I had to cut her out. She moved away and got engaged. She came back to have a bridal shower, and I put my feelings aside to be there for that. She and I go out to dinner the next day. Out of nowhere, she brings up some guy that I went on a few dates with a year before. After our few dates, it just fizzled out, so we weren't really into each other. Unbeknownst to me, she had dated him after I did. So she brings him up to me out of nowhere, while she's engaged to someone else, just to tell me how much he liked her - implying that he liked her more than he liked me. I was done then. When we were younger and the guys she would talk about were around us, was one thing, but when she was engaged, and she had to bring up a guy I wasn't interested in that I dated a year before, just so she could brag that he liked her more, I knew she was still toxic and it was in my best interest to not maintain a friendship

carolynpepsipromo avatar
vinaypai avatar
Vinay Pai
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it even legal for 3 year olds to get married? What part of the world is this?

mj_palmer avatar
Matt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At my wedding I made sure my best man looked as awesome as me as he was my best friend and I wanted us to stand out and look great. I bought him a cravat and waistcoat to match mine. We looked great. Friends should make you feel good about yourself and want you to look and feel good. Ladies, you all look great without makeup, but if it also makes you feel good, then you go for it. You should present to the world however you want to. You know what, that goes for men as well or non binary people and everyone else in between. However you identify, present yourself how ever you want.

susiesmith avatar
Susie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a great attitude you have!! Your ability to accept others as they are says you accept yourself. Your post was beautifully spoken. IF ONLY EVERYONE ON EARTH COULD THINK THIS WAY...if only....Thank you.

Load More Replies...
nizumi avatar
Nizumi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go to the wedding. Wear makeup. And when she makes a scene, she'll be the one who looks bad and insecure. Grab a bottle of champagne and split. :)

gregory_mead_73 avatar
Gregory Mead
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't actually agree. It's the bride and groom's wedding, and "for better or worse", it's their dog and pony show. But I hope the OP declined to go. The couple gets to set conditions, but the guests can decide not to participate. And the bride will have to explain why the MOH didn't come. FWIW, anything we hope they "do" is moot, because the OP is more than a year ago, so whatever was going to happen, has already happened.

Load More Replies...
fraserhodgson18 avatar
PuggerWugger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't like using strong language, but your friend is an absolute b*tch. This is definitely an insecurity issue, with the bride being jealous. Best friends don't let their jealousy affect their friendship, and she sounds like she sees this as more important than many years of friendship. I'm sorry to say, but from the sounds of it she hasn't been a good friend to you in a very long time.

jiakayoaddlecoat avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

📢TOXIC FRIEND ALERT📢 Honestly I think OP should end their friendship. Friend obviously is just trying to make you bad. Honestly I think OP is beautiful the way she is. Scars don't define you. I think OP will go far in the makeup business and will end up popular.

tahadata avatar
Lara Verne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That person is not a friend. She's toxic, insecure and constantly put others down to feel more confident. OP should reconsider their 'friendship'.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure why the OP is self conscious about a scar. In any case, it's your best friend with the problem, not you. You say you have no interest in ending the friendship, but I'm here to tell you as a person that had one of these so called friends...you will constantly be held back by her and not allowed to have the life that will make you happy as long as she continues to behave this way. You say she apologizes after insulting you in front of other guys...that's what an abuser does...apologizes to their victim after the beating. But they won't stop if you keep accepting the apology and stick around. You deserve better friends. Regardless as to how long she's been a friend to you, it's time to cut the strings and float away on your own journey. You'll be happier in the long run. Just tell her maybe she'd be happier with a different MOH and back out.

franziska-eller avatar
Konpat
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bride is indeed her ugly friend. On the inside.

l2m2d2 avatar
Emiloy
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking the same thing when I saw “people have made comments to her in the past calling her "the ugly friend"”. I wonder if they were referring not to looks, but to her personality and treatment of others. People definitely become more or less attractive based on their actions

Load More Replies...
dk_5 avatar
D K
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh honey you should have dumped this pseudo-friend a looooong time ago.

michaelswanson avatar
UpQuarkDownQuark
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“I want you, and only you, to do something that makes you anxious and uncomfortable to be in my wedding. The wedding that you’ve made sacrifices to help plan.”

pamylon avatar
Phil Amylon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet another reason we need to shift away from the nonsense of weddings being all about the bride. Celebrations of love don't care about, "being the most beautiful person in the room."

maureenmcdermott avatar
MMcD
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Instead of being maid of honor, she should ask if she could be a guest, promise not to wear make up, then show up in white 😆

trashpanda_1 avatar
Raccoon panda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, you need a new bestie, because all this woman does is drag you down. She may have wanted to be the most beautiful in the room, but that day, her heart was the most hideous, already setting the trajectory for a heartbreaking divorce. A true bestie knows to get a life instead of competing with yours. You go find a man who embraces every inch of your beauty, inside and out, and doesn’t care about the scar, because you’re perfect to him. And if you don’t find one, that’s ok. Proceed to be the most fabulously interesting woman you can, and make a name for yourself! Build other people up, and they will love you for it. Your confidence, kindness, and fabulousness will make you a woman to be feared and adored by many. Forget that insecure nut job. Her hubby’s gonna realize quickly that he made a mistake. Unless he’s just like her. Oh, and next time a Bridezilla does that, pluck out her brows and draw the McDonald’s arches on her face. Then run far away.

lisahewes avatar
Lisa Hewes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Screw the bride. Even though she "apologizes" for her comments, she still repeatedly brings down poor OP out of pure jealousy. To be clear, feeling jealous over someone for any reason is a normal feeling, however it's how you act (or react) that makes all the difference. This "friend" sees OP as nothing more than a rival in her life and is using her to make herself feel superior. What a cr@ppy thing to do.

thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bride is a toxic a-hole for sure and her request is ridiculous, but I feel sorry for how insecure OP appears to be in her looks without make-up. That's not healthy. I hope she finds better friends who help lift up her confidence somewhat.

susiesmith avatar
Susie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she keeps with this "friend", no one decent would be and stay her friend. She nurtures her abuser. She needs serious therapy so she can get confidence in herself, her beauty, AND make better choices. She's with an ABUSER. She'll go for a male abuser if she doesn't kick abusive people out of her pathway. THERAPY.

Load More Replies...
chickpea avatar
Marc Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless she's your *only* friend, ditch the wedding, ditch her, block her number, unfriend her on FB and get on with your life. She's an emotional vampire.

kristakozak avatar
Krista
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if the bride is her only friend, she should end this friendship. Staying in an abusive relationship to avoid being alone/lonely is a terrible idea. This being a friend rather than romantic partner doesn't change that. This girl needs to immediately cut her frenemy out of her life (send her an email informing her that she's not going to be in the wedding, attending the wedding, or doing her makeup, and that she will be blocking her on all fronts. Give her a quick rundown of why -short, she doesn't care about OP/her reasons. Tell her to never contact her again; maybe call her a bad word - it's cathartic. Hit send and then block her email address. Do not respond to any contact). As she recovers from being abused for years, her confidence should increase and she may be more comfortable making new friends. Therapy would be a good idea so she can figure out why she feels she deserves to be treated like this as well as learn to love herself and see herself as beautiful and worthy.

Load More Replies...
leoninusfate avatar
Leoninus Fate
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have huge scars across my face, I don't hide them, but if I wanted to, No one would tell me if i couldn't, she didn't tell you to not wear makeup, she told you to not be comfy, she could have said don't wear lipstick or eyeshadow, no she pointed out "all face makeup" which means she wants you to show up with it and whats you to "look ugly/unpretty, not shadow her" FORGET HER

kristakozak avatar
Krista
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many people keep calling the bride "toxic". She's abusive. If we replaced "best friend" with "boyfriend" this would absolutely be called abuse. She doesn't get a pass because it's not a romantic relationship. There's an unbalanced power dynamic here, one person's self esteem being systematically eroded over time, no effort by the bride to stop/change her behavior, no actual remorse, zero respect, and the friend clearly taking great pleasure in humiliating and breaking another human being. OP is in an abusive relationship and really needs to get out of it. Recovering from emotional abuse takes a long time; you have a great day where you believe you're pretty, worthy of love/respect, smart, good person, etc, and then the little voice in your head pops in to replay all the horrible things you heard day after day, and you are back to square one. It's a long process of one step forward and three back. OP needs to get out and start therapy to heal and not blame herself for the abuse.

stephyg1980 avatar
Ms.GB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honey...you're insecurity is showing, you'd better go cover that up and not worry about me covering up my scar which is a much less unattractive flaw.

roserosee avatar
Rosie Cat
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl walk with your head held high, and exit stage left. That woman has never been your friend and never will be. Funny thing is even with makeup on and wearing a beautiful dress, her ugly insides will be on full display. You can do way better in the friendship department. I get the feeling the OP is beautiful and has no idea.

jonathanwest avatar
Jonathan West
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where the hell do people meet these types of people? Pure insanity.

susiesmith avatar
Susie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something in them attracts them. Diagnosis it and get rid of it with Therapy.

Load More Replies...
alchristensen avatar
Al Christensen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My plan for reducing bad marriages and divorces: Start a tradition of elaborate Center of Attention, Queen for a Day, Everyone Adores You, Please Please Validate Me, Princess Fantasy Days that have nothing to do with marriage. Let the women who crave such things get it out of their systems so they have a better chance of marrying for sane, realistic reasons — if at all.

dillhenricks avatar
Dill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like it, but chances are the same people will just keep coming back for more. There is something fundamentally lacking in them for some reason. In part I think it's because they lack self-esteem - people who are truly comfortable in themselves don't need validation and constant compliments from others. Yet it just comes across as arrogant arseholery on a grand scale! Whatever their reasons they aren't good friendship material and are best avoided.

Load More Replies...
edurnity22 avatar
Edurne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

skip the wedding?! I'd say skip the whole friendship! the bride is SÚPER toxic, you're definitely better off without her in your life

laurabrown_3 avatar
Laura Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Think about what you said: she tells others "pretty can be wiped away" and you're "ugly without makeup." Why would you continue being friends with this woman? She clearly is not a friend to you, but has used you and belittled you for your entire "friendship." She took advantage of your generosity while planning her wedding, then makes an unreasonable demand that you not wear makeup. You must, for your own peace, decline to participate in her wedding or attend, and find a better class of friend. True friends won't treat you like she has; they'll want you to feel confident and secure. This woman obviously doesn't. Her behavior toward you has been cruel and toxic, and will continue to be if you allow it.

alisa-fender avatar
Honu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's bad enough that this person tries to humiliate her about makeup on regular social occasions. Now she wants to do it in front of a big crowd of all their friends and have pictures taken, which she will likely display in her home for years. Walk away. She is toxic.

jennymichelle avatar
Jenny Michelle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry but she can't possibly have a say in if you wear make-up or not ..she's being ridiculous and possibly showing signs of jealousy towards OP.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, and she is definitely neither your best friend nor a friend at all. It;s not even some light-hearted friendly rivalry, she's just being nasty to you. F**k her and her wedding.

jamiemcdonald avatar
Jamie Mcdonald
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder what she ended up doing. Looking at the embedded comments, they all say they're from 1 year ago.

alya_2 avatar
Alya
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Noticed and was looking to see if someone mentioned this lol But yeah I wonder also

Load More Replies...
c_devine avatar
Seedy Vine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nix the wedding, dump the friend, and invoice her for all that prep work you did for her wedding!

lisavalen avatar
Lisa Valen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sincerely doubt you would "overshadow' her at her wedding. Everyone will be looking at the bride, not the attendants. It's HER day. But I agree this girl is not your "best" friend. Especially if she has made disparaging remarks before. While she may have some self-esteem issues, she has no right to ask you, alone, to go bare-faced, especially when she knows you're self-conscious about your facial scar (no matter how minor). But I wonder how secure she's going to be in her marriage when the world is full of beautiful women, many of whom may indeed, "overshadow" her.

keerthivardhan avatar
Keerthi Vardhan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe it's their in-security, and lack of self-confidence. The bride seems to measure her worth with how other perceive her instead of how she perceives herself.

subtlenature avatar
Galadriel Init
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I checked in Reddit to see if there was an update about what happened, as this AITA Reddit post was from over a year ago. Didn't find anything. I certainly hope that in the end, she excluded herself from the wedding, didn't do the makeup, and moved on from that "friend" of hers.....

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best thing about getting older is that I find it so much easier to cut toxic people out of my life. Snip snip snippety snip!!!

betsymcdaniel1967 avatar
Betsy Mcdaniel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What happened? Did she attend or end? Post says it was a year ago. I hope she stood her ground against the tyrant.

robyngardam avatar
KombatBunni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ditch the b***h and move on. That’s not being a friend at all. She’s been at you for years and will likely keep going if you don’t give her the boot.

abbysmink avatar
abby smink
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem started way before the wedding. What kind of friend tells you that you look way better with makeup? No wonder this person doesn't have much self confidence, do doubt because of their "friend." And to put them on blast to potential mates? Horrid. They're better off without this person in their life and not sure why they haven't seen it before now.

peggy_4 avatar
Peggy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Four out of five of my bridesmaids were prettier, thinner and more accomplished than me. They were also my friends so I was proud of them and happy they could be there. My fifth bridesmaid was a close family member twenty years older than we were. I chose dresses that particularly flattered her, not that they didn't all look great in them. If you're marrying the right man you're the luckiest woman in the room. Isn't that enough?

lillukka79 avatar
Lillukka79
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not a friend, let alone best. Why do people stay with such toxic arses?

dannyboyvasquez_948473 avatar
Miah Shawn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you're around garbage too long, you stop smelling the stench. Poor woman has gotten used to the hateful and nasty comments from her "friend" and the wedding is just now opening her eyes to the fact that the horrible bride was never her friend to begin with.

Load More Replies...
suegendron avatar
mm65851
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How in the effin' world can this be your BEST friend???

elizabethsundby avatar
Elizabeth Sundby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is such a red flag. She's self-conscious and is taking it out on you. so my idea? refuse to do her makeup. or when you have a wedding just don't invite her.

zselyke_szekely avatar
UpupaEpops
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Genuine question: do men also act this way to each other? As a woman, I had "friends" like OP's, who I needed to cut out of my life for my own sake, but all of them were women. I usually get on really well with guys and gave never noticed this kind of shitty behaviour among them. But then again, maybe they are behaving themselves in front of me. Hence my question.

deb_14 avatar
Carrie de Luka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can answer that, yes I have met men who do. In fact two of the 'bitchiest' people I have ever met were both male (one is married to my sister). They seemed to revel in dragging others down. Their comments were always called, rather inaccurately, 'sarcasm' and waved away as banter. Toxicity doesn't have a gender I don't think.

Load More Replies...
ladylastarr avatar
Lady La'Starr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

FIRST OF ALL...A real friend would not make the comments she has been making thru out your friendship. She is insecure and vain. A real friend would help you embrace who you are. I would drop her and the wedding. She is toxic and thinks admitting her faults will excuse her actions. She is not your friend. She's a jealous biotch.

xtremesue avatar
Sue Mast-Bestward
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Think about if you had a daughter and her friend treated her that way! 🤔 would it be acceptable? Absolutely not! This is a huge red flag to end the friendship now!! You don't need someone in your life that keeps you 2 steps back ... btw tattoo your scar to blend into your skin tone... it really works l have done it on my leg ..

barbara_goudie avatar
Barbara Goudie-Bradford
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I specifically asked for my sisters hair to be similar to mine as I knew she’d try to dress down for my big day and wanted her to feel as good as I did. She was walking me down the aisle and I wanted her to look stunning. Why wouldn’t you want your MOH and bestie to look their best. Toxic witch!!

sonyaatencio avatar
Sonya Atencio
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you ever wondered if she may be the REASON ur still single. These kind of toxic chicks are usually pretty cunning sabotageurs... just sayin

sonyaatencio avatar
Sonya Atencio
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you ever wondered if she may need the REASON you're still single? Those kind of toxic chicks are usually cunning sabotageurs, just sayin.

austinaxley avatar
Austin Axley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it was just during the wedding I'd say wear just something to cover the scar and ignore it because weddings are a lot of pressure (which I personally think is ridiculous but that's neither here nor there) but the admission that her jealousy and insecurity goes way beyond this is disturbing. Equally disturbing is the fact that she feels she has to put her friends down to make herself feel better. The internet is a place for overreacting so I'm not going to advise breaking off the friendship over it. Everyone has a personality trait that is unattractive and can be toxic in large doses; yes EVERYONE, and if you're thinking "well *I* certainly don't" then I'd suggest you start having some deeper more personal convos with your friends because the key to healthy friendships is not to not have toxic personality traits but to know what yours are and recognize when they're affecting your friends so that you can apologize.

georgiegal avatar
Georgie Gal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know of one single true friend who would want you to look your worst (whether or not true) just so they can look their best. And to insult you (BS apologies btw) whenever you get attention because she's jealous? That's not a friend, that's the high school pretty girl who tries to keep all her friends around her who aren't as pretty as her just so she can look better than everyone else. Need to tell her to get bent. And to show that I can be TA, I would also wait until the last minute (a.k.a Day of I Do) with a contract that says "I will do your makeup for a price, but discounted (like 2%) because we're friends." Because she needs to pay for being such a punk a b. Oh, and don't worry. Those ugly attitudes are only held up by Botox and plastic surgery. Your natural beauty will always shine brighter than her stanky attitude.

susiesmith avatar
Susie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman is MEAN to you and SELFISH and is NOT YOUR FRIEND. Sounds like she NEVER HAS BEEN, much less, TRULY. It's good you helped her with wedding duties while she insults you. Clearly she thinks rudeness, emotional harm and a low class attitude are routinely acceptable behaviors. But they're NOT. Usually we hear cautionary tales about MEN being cruelly control obsessed. BUT THIS BRIDEZILLA takes it?? REALLY!!! WHAT EXACTLY do you glean from your "friendship" with her that makes this relationship so important to you?? SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. THAT you're willing to GIVE her a BEAUTIFUL GIFT of your skills and artistic professional talents to beautify her (on the outside) is truly a friend. But WHAT COMPELS YOU to do this for someone who has only disdain for you? She's an abuser WITHOUT CONSCIENCE OR REMORSE. BUT YOU enable her. Walk away from this wedding and bride, and CLOSE the chapter. And eagerly open doors to NEW REAL FRIENDS. And DON'T do her makeup. You've given enough. 👍👍❗

rose_ann_fisher avatar
Rose Ann Fisher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman is no friend of yours if she is singling you out by forbidding you from wearing makeup and not the rest of the bridal party. You can tell her that you are a professional and wearing makeup is part of who you are. A nurse or a teacher doesn’t stop being what they are to be in a bridal party. Ask her why she is treating you differently from the rest of the bridal party. You can tell her that she will have to do her own makeup or find another makeup artist.

elainedulecki avatar
Elaine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman isn't your friend. She's an abusive, manipulative bully. In no way should you wearing makeup make this woman feel less than- and she obviously does- or she wouldn't be demanding that you not wear it. Please find another warm,considerate friend who edifies and builds you up. This is a toxic relationship and I hope you listen to the readers and commenter here and just drop out with no contact. Definitely NTA!!

klam avatar
K Lam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She only thanked her to then punch her in the gut w yet another horrible put down. Move on from this friendship it's toxic

lindapowder avatar
Linda Powder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man, I would just wear the makeup, and if the B had a meltdown about it, I'd just leave, and permanently dump her insecure a*s. Who needs a "friend" like THAT.

kathryn-nordquist avatar
Yay Pandas!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why the bride is doing this. Asking OP to not wear makeup would show up her scar and make her more noticeable and not less. Especially since OP said she would tone down her makeup and make the bride's makeup look good. In any case, I agree with everyone else. Dump this woman, she is not your friend.

jcocabunny avatar
Judi Gardnner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bored Panda us where to go to have people pile on with how one has been wronged. It can justify our reactions to be able to think "all these people agree with me". I wonder if you ever defend her when people called her "the ugly one?" (Did this generate the makeup comments?). Therefore while "no makeup" seems extreme, if you are talented enough to Ru Paul yourself --asking not to be the ugly one at her own wedding (even with doing her face) might support her in this big step. Is it about you continuing to be the most beautiful, or feelings of loss as her husband may become her best friend?

paulajwynn avatar
Paula Wynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My BFF is a gorgeous blonde who was voted "Best Looking" in our senior class. We've been friends since we were 9, we're now in our 50s. I have never, in all those years, felt insignificant to her. She would NEVER say the ugly things that Bridezilla said. THAT woman is NOT your friend!

jesi avatar
sugardog3482
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ditch that shitty excuse of a friend, she’ll only drag you down. I know you didn’t want to end it, but it’ll hurt you more if you don’t.

dev_4 avatar
Dev
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your story broke my heart, bringing me to tears as if a close friend told me their partner had been physically abusive for years. The person you have given the honored title of best friend to blatantly disrespects and abuses you making herself the most vile and disgusting creature. The fact you would allow it continue for years speaks volumes to how little you value yourself and my heart cries for you. This isn't about her at all, it's about you. You felt the need to say you are not asking how to end the relationship because every one in your life has already asked you to end it but you are looking for an alternative because you believe you deserve her bitterness and scorn. So I just want to ask you one question, why are your feelings all of a sudden important? You allow her to crush your feelings, heart and beauty in every regard, every day, so why take your stand now? Answer that my beauty and you will know what you need to do, if you can only find the courage.

dev_4 avatar
Dev
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, if you were my best friend I wouldn't let you wear makeup to my wedding either. I would want to make sure everyone there saw the true beauty of the woman I loved the most in the world as you stood next to me. I would want everyone to see the truth of your beautiful heart and your beautiful face. I would make sure even a blind man would know that to me, no one was more beautiful than you. Not on the inside or the out. You are perfect just the way you are because you are my best friend and I love you.

Load More Replies...
kalliebarrett avatar
kallie barrett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she'd be happy if you did the work, then didn't show up for her 'big day'. On what planet is this woman your friend, when no one else can see you? I seriously advise you to get a therapist who can tell you this friend is abusive and your insecurity leads you to allow it. :/

marybaumer avatar
Mary Baumer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, she doesn't realize what a good friend she has. She will when it's gone.

jacw avatar
JAC W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman has never been your true friend, no true friend would ever say the things she has to you and men that have been attracted to you, let alone the no make up wedding thing.

larrywhalen avatar
Larry Whalen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA; there is an old saying, "While Beauty is only skin deep, Ugly, however is to the Bone" And this is ultimately True for your. 'friend', since for her the "ugly" lies beneath the surface, in that her "friendship" is a facade, as she appears to be both jealous and resentful of you, not only your looks but also your personality. Young Lady, don't let an 'insignificant' scar belittle your opinion of yourself nor your inner beauty, nor for that matter what I believe to be a 'Toxic Personallity' disguised as a friend, in your Life. People such as this need people such as yourself to subtly demean in order to inflate their self worth and esteem as well as their "power" over someone they perceive to be in competition with on multiple levels. My belief is she desires to "UNMASK" you publicly in order to show that you cannot compete with her on a physical 'level'; and as an example I offer your own comment as to her (maliciously) yet oh so subtly stating how you looked Without makeup.

tarryn_louise avatar
Tarryn Louise
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your friend is a straight up B.I.T.C.H.... I am sorry that you have so much love for her ......the rose coloured glasses you are wearing have you a little bit blind to how bad it really is and we all here know you have not even told us everything. I am sure it has been horrible throughout the years. Ditch her.

weathermonger1 avatar
Donna Harris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would you want to be friends with someone who sabatoges you at every turn...telling people that basically you aren't pretty unless you have makeup on. A true friend wouldn't do that ...AND....would understand about your insecurity concerning your scar. You "friend" is a jealous...if she's comfortable being such a bitc# in front of you, what does she say when you aren't around.

anjalijeter avatar
Anjali Jeter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, this toxic mess is anything but friendship. I'd even go as far as calling this abuse. The OP needs to reconnect her backbone to her brain and stop taking cr*p from this so-called 'friend.' Actual friends support you and raise you up - all this one is doing is pulling her down and making her feel insecure about herself. She deserves better and the best thing she could do here is nope right out of this situation. Let this bridezilla find someone else to use as a doormat.

minetruly avatar
Mine Truly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP, you already sound like a lovely person who is struggling with insecurity. If you spend this friendship, please at least make a new friend, someone who builds your confidence and boost your self-esteem instead making your insecurity worse. Find someone who treats you the way you treat your friends. I worry that you've grown up in an abusive household since you don't see how unacceptable your "best friend's" years of jealous put-downs have been. You might consider getting group therapy (I find it much more validating than one on one therapy) to address whatever it is that's keeping you from enjoying the full, healthy friendships you deserve.

lblsj65 avatar
Liz-ard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree to all comments about the bride is not a friend and should be dumped as such by MOH. BUT the MOH clearly say she doesn’t want to break their friendship. Then: if MOH is a makeup artist as - she claim - she should be able to take her own makeup down without not wear any at all. Use discrete earth colours, don’t put on layer after layer of mascara, use a lighter natural color lipstick … as a makeup artist she CAN make a “nude” face makeup! Other wise she need to back down from the title as artist.

jekodama avatar
JessRS
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd say sure, no problem, then go MIA on the day of the wedding. Let Bridezilla figure that one out!

sd_9 avatar
S D
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go to the wedding. Wear makeup but the "no makeup" look just cuz you got more heart than her and you still care about her even tho she doesnt give a c**p about you. Tell her that this is how it will be for the day and she needs to accept and move on or else she needs to find a last minute emergency bridal makeup artist. Do her makeup beautifully. Grab her by her shoulders look her dead in the eye and tell her. " B***h you are beautiful. I forgive you for being so awful to me. But today this stops. I don't want to lose our friendship. You need to accept your beauty and own it for the sake of your marriage, future and the daughter you may have one day with this man. Do you want your daughter to be insecure or do you want her to love herself no matter who is around her? " Tell her you love her and it's time to grow up and if she wants, u guys can do gym or skincare journey together so she can build up her confidence. Tell her you wait for her to become her most beautiful self inside and out and are willing to stay her friend thru that journey. NOW... if this lady reacts foul in any way let her go for Christ's sake! U aren't helping her be a better person by staying. If she loses a friend she might stop and examine herself and make changes. But if you keep sucking down this horrid treatment she'll stay the garbage person she is. Ppl like that don't deserve friends.*** MIC DROP***

pwebb avatar
P Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. You should agree, then show up with a fully made-up face. Let her turn you away from the wedding with witnesses... if she dares. Oh and and the friendship.

uchechipeters avatar
Uchechi Peters
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

hazeldw avatar
Hazel DW
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why were you friends with her another minute after such nasty remarks to men about your make-up? Friends don't do that, and most certainly not more than once. The fact that she chose you to be MOH considering the way she has treated you in the past speaks volumes about her. Is no one else willing to put up with her snarky comments? Don't walk away, run.

mariebelladonna avatar
Marie BellaDonna
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs to dump that "friend". Because she's NOT being a friend. I've been there, too. I met my ex-best friend in math class, in the beginning of our senior year of high school. For 20 years, we were like peas and carrots. But after she came out of the air force, gave birth to her son, and divorced her husband, she completely changed. She became an angry person, a complete Karen, a total helicopter mom, and an absolute one-upper, as well as a pathological liar, all rolled into one. And her son was a horrible, spoiled brat. I stayed much longer than I should have, because I didn't think it was entirely her fault. I knew that her traumatic childhood, and her time in the Air Force (she joined RIGHT before 9/11) had mentally screwed her up. And we'd grown up together. I loved her like a sister. So I put up with a lot of abuse. But when she threw me and my then 6yo son out of her house, which was at least 20 miles from my own, after dark, with no ride home, enough was enough. I had to cut ties. It hurt like hell. It still does, 7 years later. I still miss her to this day. I always will. I will always love her, and I will always wish her the best. But I had to walk away. And I'd do the same thing, all over again. People change. Sometimes it's our friends who change. And sometimes it's us who change. Sometimes we change because of them. When dealing with toxic "friends", there comes a time, when you realize you can only support someone so much. When even 20 years of irreplaceable history doesn't matter. When you cut a person that toxic out of your life, the peace of mind that follows, is worth the pain of losing them, and the sadness of looking back on fond memories of better times. OP needs to cut ties with HER toxic "friend". Because she is not a real friend. I know it's hard. But the weight lifted off her shoulders will be far greater than the weight of her sadness. I know. I've lived it.

killua_84 avatar
Lunar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why OP still a friend with the bride when the bride is so toxic on multiple occasions

candiceshort87 avatar
Candice Blanton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alot of people have already said this person is not your friend, so, I won't say it. What she is is controlling and manipulative. She has treated this way for so long you don't even see it anymore. She does these things to make herself feel better because she is insecure. Back out of the wedding and take a break from your "Friend". And she needs to find someone else to do her make up. After you do this, watch what happens next. I bet you it won't surprise you.

maggieboombolt avatar
Maggie Hood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her "friend" is really jealous and mean about your appearance and she constantly puts you down. F**k her and f**k her wedding.

jaybird3939 avatar
Jaybird3939
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I had a friend and I knew she was uncomfortable without make-up, the LAST thing I would do is ask her to go without it. What an awful, self-centered person to not only tell you not to wear make-up, but then willingly accepting that you'll do hers for free. I also don't understand "the only pretty one on my wedding day". I'd think of my wedding day as a big party, celebrating my union, and everyone looks as good, different, tattooed, rainbow hair, etc. as they want.

conniemiller-fender avatar
Connie Miller -Fender
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no friendship to end. She is not your friend. No friend would EVER tell someone you look bad without make up.

sarah-cope1990 avatar
#iwriteitall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She knows your unconfident about your scar she knows your not comfortable without makeup she knows how SHES made you feel about makeup because of the nasty comments SHE has made as your best friend she shouldn't even consider putting you through such trauma why oh why would you want to hurt someone you supposedly love so much emotionally, Hun she is no friend let alone a best friend jealousy is a horrific trait and one she obviously has I would never ever want to hurt someone I love so much she could ask you to tone it down I guess but I wouldn't even be comfortable doing that knowing how you would feel it maybe her wedding but that doesn't give her narcasistic self the right to put you through such a traumatic emotionally mentally degrading experience for her selfishness, Hun cut her out because there is someone out there who would love to be your best friend and put you on the pedostall you deserve and lift you up both internally and to everyone you may meet

mkhickman3225 avatar
Katy Hickman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh OP… best friend? Honey no. That is the worst friend. Please know your worth and do yourself a favor and end the “friendship “. You were the only friend involved anyway. Don’t go to the wedding.

rosalind-ellen1 avatar
Mark It/Its
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the fact that everyone else but op is allowed to wear makeup that's getting to me. A blanket rule affecting all of the bridal party would be fair enough but for her to specifically exclude op is really rubbing me up the wrong way

brandypuddin avatar
Brandy Puddin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That friend is so insecure and immature. The fact that she is so jealous of her friend that she is making such a ridiculous request of her is alarming in itself. The bride to be can't be trusted and she is definitely intentionally setting her friend up to look like raggedy-Anne just to make herself feel better. With friends like that, you don't need any enemies!!

ymdd67 avatar
Yvette Davis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are in an abusive relationship. *insult- compliment- potshots - just joking.* Classic verbal and emotional abuse. Sweetie please run for the hills.

fortunalaf avatar
Fortuna Laf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was this article like a year ago? Anyway... I would have cursed her a*s out and I wouldn't had showed up to her wedding along with doing her damn makeup... I guess both of us would have been a*s out of make up ... only difference my a*s would have been in my bed while she is saying I do lol... that would have been hilarious... maybe I'm different but ain't no one gonna talk and down grade me even with a scar on my face... ijs. I wish my friends or BFF would did or said some that sh*t to me...her life would have been fu*ked up. Or I would have showed up with make up on... cause that would have probably be the last day we would ever be friends anyway. Ya home girl jealous of you period and you don't need that energy in ya life!!!

roxschaf avatar
Roxanne Littlefield
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pull out of this charade with this abusive b***h! Ghost her a*s! She is no friend, let alone a best friend!!!

austinaxley avatar
Austin Axley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As to the wedding, if she really is your best friend and you are as good a friend as you sound in the post then I think you will ultimately be upset with yourself for not being there to support her, if there's a way to blend out just your scar while keeping the rest natural then I think that's a fair compromise. I think this is also a decision that could be made without your friend's knowledge, you'd be obeying the spirit of her wishes without compromising your own confidence too much. If she says anything about it I would just say that you thought it was fair and that you didn't want to overburden her with your needs on her big day. That's both honest and shows that your thinking about her needs.

austinaxley avatar
Austin Axley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I'd advise is that she sit her down (after the wedding of course, regardless of whether this behavior is preexisting she's got enough on her plate right now) and talk about how she sympathizes with her insecurities, but that making other people feel worse is not a healthy way for them to feel better. Explain that if they need reassurance of their worth they should look to their friends and husband and not to the mean comments of strangers. If she's receptive to it then great, that's a good friend! If not then it sounds like she's not really concerned with anyone's feelings but her own, and that's not really a friend. Regardless of how much you care for them if they don't care about you that's ultimately a destructive relationship that needs to end, but I've found this is rarely the case, sometimes people who value you just get a little too wrapped up in themselves to see that they're hurting those that support them and part of being a friend is being willing to work through that.

heathervance avatar
AzKhaleesi
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is absurd. I never asked any of my bride's maids anything but their opinion on color / dress. Out side of that I told them do you boo. Hair, makeup, nails whatever. My only request was no one wear white. My brother and his wife showed up in Onsie Pajamas and my sister in law was in a jaw dropping cocktail dress. (Christmas wedding) I loved every second of it. You need new friends love.

jandipalermo avatar
Jan DiPalermo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need to drop out of the wedding party completely. This Bride is not a friend of yours. She is inconsiderate, stingy and most of all not your friend. Thank her and say no thanks.

bartoszadamek avatar
Bartosz Adamek
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn, it keeps suprising me how petty and shallow some people can be

burnnoticefan189 avatar
Tiffany Armstrong
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she was really your friend, she wouldn't treat you like c**p! Dump her!!!

susanbarker avatar
Susan Barker
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bride is a narcissist. Not a friend. Anyone who has treated you the way she has needs to be abandoned. She is abusive and enjoys using the power you have given her to control you. What are you getting out of this friendship? There must be something. Or has she has beaten you down so far that you actually believe on some level that you deserve her abuse? The abuse is not your fault. It is motivated by her needs, and sense of entitlement . She does not care about you or your feelings, you are just an object to her. I bet she gaslights too. Save your self, she is damaging you. And please do not enter into any other relationships until you recognize narcissistic abuse and understand how very destructive such a relationship (friendship OR love) is for the victim. Because that is what you are...her victim, not her friend.

patinielsen avatar
Pati Carter-Nielsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is not your friend! She is a passive aggressive mean girl. She takes advantage of you when she needs you and then to the curb you go.

sunshine-aoc avatar
Lemonclouds20
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wear your best face, take her thunder. You deserve the attention your Friend is jealous and insecure, she has no right to put you down the way she does.

kerrypage avatar
Kerry Page
Community Member
1 year ago

Aww, bless you. Literally just walk away out of her life... You deserve genuine people in your life.

hmoore_1 avatar
H M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd just agree with her and turn up wearing makeup. Incredible that someone worries about "friends" looking better....not a friend actually.

mimi2129 avatar
Robin Christie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is ABSOLUTELY NOT YOUR FRIEND. Sounds like a insecure, immature and jealous person. I would back out and let someone else do her makeup. She will probably disinvite you to the Wedding. Everyone can wear makeup...but you? Adios Chica!!

dontlook avatar
Don't Look
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reads like a bad hallmark movie. Why be friends with someone who is that insecure? Actually, who is she marrying? If the fiancé knows she’s that insecure he might want her to get therapy before being stuck with someone that … horrible.

dakotaball avatar
Kota Ball
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like how my old "best friend" used to say that I would reel people in with my looks but her personality is what made them stay (when we were out clubbing, etc) and would do backhanded s**t like this all time. Drop the narcissist, feel better about yourself. Additionally, this "friend" of mine also dropped me when I was in rehab and working on my mental health and had done literally nothing to her except always show up for her. She helped me get there and then said "cutting ties is better you're an awful person" (essentially) and went behind my back to try and tell my parents (we are adults) lies she made up about how awful I was. She had a pattern of ditching people the minute they tried to improve their own lives. And by pattern I mean about 6 friends of ours before me and her girlfriends

leslieagostino avatar
Leslie Agostino
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dump the bride. She is a very insecure being whose only goal in life is to drag other people, you, through the mud to make her miserable self feel better. She is a toxic self centered narcissistic. Walk away, go no contact and live your best life. You deserve it. Never let anyone put you down. Do Not waste your energy. They are not worth it. You are.

jackieaddington7 avatar
Jackie Addington
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA You are beautiful! Beauty comes from the heart. Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. When you do, none of them will notice the scar. They will encourage you to be you whether you wear makeup or not. Remove toxic so called friend. You need to realize you owe her nothing. Sever it and move forward. You will find when toxin is removed you become healthier. Does it hurt? Yes, but not for long. Keep going forward and dream big! You have a lot of people rooting you on!

brenarosethorn avatar
Brena RoseThorn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She never was your friend. A true friend doesn't put you down all the time. She sounds toxic. No your not wrong. I wouldn't have gone either. I know how it feels to not like things about yourself so if your not ready to show everyone your scar then that's quite alright. She should be greatful that you helped at all. So No you ANTA

jonathannichols avatar
Jonathan Nichols
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this is her *best* friend, what the hell do her other friends do to her? No wonder she has no confidence

toriohno avatar
tori Ohno
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so heartbreaking for me to read. This is me and my BFF (or so I thought) from years ago. Raised together, called each other sisters, etc. Until we graduated high school and she went to cosmetology school. She and her new "BFF" were talking about going out Friday night, new friend from school is seriously fugly BTW. They claimed that me and another girl couldn't be invited "They're too pretty" they said. Didn't know I was there to hear. Was I MOH? No. I was too pretty. Dump this person NOW, she's not worth your time.

roopaghosh06 avatar
Roopa Ghosh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never heard of a "best friend" who makes catty remarks like, "You should see her without make-up" to one's potential date. Ouch! I think you are rather too simple and forgiving to have been her pal for so long in spite of this. Even now, you are actually wondering if you are being the cruel one for being hurt by her demands! By the way, I also feel you lack self confidence in your looks. Make up should enhance, not completely transform one's looks. I am sure that scar is really minor and you can gradually tone down your makeup till you get to a more natural look. We don't need to be apologetic for any marks or "blemishes"! I am sure you are lovely as you are. That toxic "friend" of yours needs to see it too. Good luck to life without her jealousy.

skylarjaxx avatar
Skylar Jaxx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She doesn't want to end the friendship Stockholm syndrome oh my!!!! That's abuse babes!

saltae950 avatar
Saltea
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her 'ugliness' comes from her mean behavior and lack of confidence, that's a toxic friend and i hope op reconsider continuing the friendship as it seems like the relationship doesn't benefit her

ebonye_ avatar
Ebony E.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad for OP. She doesn't deserve that treatment, and she should stand up for herself. Don't show up to the wedding, don't contact her, and delete her number.

jennifer_szuter avatar
Jennifer Szuter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your "friend" is not your friend. She is evidently many other things, but a true friend, as she said, would want you to look and feel your best, and would never throw you under the bus in the way she continues to do so as evidenced by your story. Please stand up for yourself, and follow the advise of commenters here: either wear the natural looking makeup, or excuse yourself from the ceremony and all other obligations to her. She is unreasonable, at best.

matteocaputo avatar
Matteo Caputo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wear your make up and go to the wedding, if she asks you to leave then it's on her.

kristinepark avatar
Kristine Park
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve been in a friendship that’s exactly like this (sans the “no makeup at my wedding” request, I just wasn’t invited but…) you’re friend is a narcissist, maybe borderline but it sounds like everything’s got to be about her & how fantastic she is, plus she’s a little jealous of you which is probably why you’re besties (think “keep your enemies closer…”) but you don’t have to completely end your friendship it’s just really bad timing on her part. When my friend asked me to work for her I made it very clear that (since it was her & her husband’s place + I knew it would eventually become an issue but, as long as she respected me, I’d always be her friend but no matter… I’ve GOT to work. 4yrs later I’m still working, they’re divorced & yes we’re still friends. Key word there is RESPECT. This person has 0 for you but it’s not too late to save the friendship if she’s willing to bend if not, I’d tell her to start looking for a makeup person & enjoy since you’ll be relaxing on an island!

dewonabridges avatar
Dewona Bridges
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What you permit persists. Make your decision about you and not her. Wear your makeup as her guest if you wish or wear your make up at home. No more explaining yourself.

almarako94 avatar
Almarako94
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At the moment she asked you to come without makeup you should have said goodbye and turn around.

leighannfleming avatar
Leigh Ann Fleming
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is really terrible that she treats you that way, obviously she is very insecure and she didn't want you wearing makeup because, she has the problem, I'm sure you are beautiful with or without makeup, but her, she doesn't deserve your friendship, that would be the last draw for her, really, how hurtful she is!

ruthr_h_u avatar
Ruth R.H.U
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course she is not your friend, and you need your head examined if you are serious about not ending the relationship. I mean, what on earth do you need her in your life for? Is she paying your bills? The " friendship" will end when she tires of tormenting you, ( probably after she has done all she can to ruin your life) or you could just choose to end it now and walk away from that witch with dignity and strength, on your own terms. If you really want to mess her up, go for the wedding with makeup on and after that never speak to her again 🙂. Also, please don't feel obligated to get her a wedding gift. She is not and has never been your friend. Don't be desperate, cut her off. In any relationship the person who breaks up first, wins. Let that be you. There will be other friends, real ones.

waril-debbie avatar
loona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That bride is Not a friend. Dump the wedding. Dump her.

darklily1369 avatar
Tanwen de Heydon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please reconsider this "friendship". She is NOT a friend. You deserve to be treated with respect and compassion. Drop out of the wedding, drop her like a hot potato and do you.

kylealton avatar
Kyle Alton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a POS. There's no positive reason or benefit to being "friends" with her or having any sort of relationship. Idk why you do. Friends lift each other up not s**t on each other constantly and apologize without doing anything to fix it.

jason_carson avatar
Jason Carson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If thays the kind of friend you have ,dump her and ill be your friend. Hell ill be your BEST FRIEND and ill say not one word about your looks or lack of. Shes tacky and spiteful and she's only your friend because she wants what she can get from the relationship. I've had "friends like that and they aren't worth the bull they bring to my life. My friends know we can depend on each other and say the honest truth to each other and we says its with love that I tell you this... find a better bestie.

jeanettescott avatar
thefaithfulspouse
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It just came to me...agree to her terms, show up at the wedding WITH makeup, when she throws a tantrum, leave WITHOUT doing her makeup.

weakknees avatar
Weak Knees
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother used to say, "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone." No matter how you doll her up, your friend's actions have proven her ugly indeed.

kkermes avatar
Kim Kermes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm thinking malicious compliance, myself, but I have a mean streak. If you don't decide to call the whole thing off, point out all the attention you'll get as "Sacarface", which is probably how she'd see you, and no civilized person would.

gabrielgawrada avatar
Gabriel Gawrada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, Sinkvenice already posted my thoughts. You've made it clear that you don't want to end this 'friendship'. This woman is not your friend, she is toxic and you are enabling her continued abuse. That you have allowed this for some time indicates you two are codependent, locked into a repeating cycle of her abuse and your apparent need to be abused. Sorry, neither of you are healthy. If you don't value yourself, at least do the decent thing and warn her fiance.

camaroaustin avatar
Keisha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't have to stop being her BFF because clearly in her eyes you are competition,not a friend.If it's one sided that's not a friendship.If it were me I wouldn't say a word in response to her message.I would block her number,on social media and once her big day gets there just don't show up to do her makeup not to the wedding.Find something to do on that day so you won't be home when she inevitably sends someone over to see why you aren't there to do her makeup or or do your MOH duties.You have given enough time and energy on someone that treats you horribly. Cut your losses with bridezilla and find someone worthy of your friendship.

fliconmigo avatar
Rachel Betancort
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She isn't your friend. Get out of this toxic relationship now. Do not go to her wedding. She is petty and ridiculous.

ybutler avatar
Yvonne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is a frenemy. Walk away and let her sort herself out. You do not need her toxicity. I wouldn’t go to her wedding either. You don’t owe her anything

kerry-mccollough avatar
tecolote
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bride is a selfish, vindictive person who's as deep as a kiddie pool. Bag her, the wedding and don't look back.

natalybills avatar
VogueGal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP needs new friends. Whilst I don't understand nor condone women wearing tons of make-up as they usually look incredibly different without it, this lady (OP) has justified reason. If makeup makes her feel good about herself and suppress her insecurities, then it's no one business, not even the bride to be.

angelmatthews avatar
Angela
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't read this post just want to know if we will ever see posts about brides who are kind, unselfish and remind people why people get married????

suzn34 avatar
Susan Bosse
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holy cow. This girl is NOT the OP's friend. I can guarantee that the OP's insecurities are the only reason they are even "friends" at all. The bride keeps the OP around to have a punching bag. Continuously pointing out what she knows are the OP's insecurities are just plain old b***h moves. Apologies don't mean Jack if the behavior continues. Someone who is TRULY sorry would have stopped the behavior after the first or second time the OP expressed how this hurt her. The bride is ugly on the inside and mean spirited. These things make you ugly on the outside. Tell her your wedding AND PARTING gifts are the work you've done to help with her wedding and then walk away. WALK. AWAY. Well...RUN. RUN FAR FAR AWAY.

coughity10 avatar
coughity10
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most f**ked up part about the entire article is that these people still have the balls to consider each other friends. That's not friendship. I feel like that shouldn't need to be explained.

praecordia avatar
Alma Muminovic
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s some psycho s**t. I think you should just not go and dont do her make up either. That’s some jealous petty ridiculous behavior that honestly she should be embarrassed about even asking or saying out loud. I had a friend that uninvited me from her birthday party because I made a joke she didn’t like. I said fine. Day of party I get a message from her your really not coming? Nope, really not. You need to cut behavior like that right off because the fact that she thinks its ok for her to do that is cause you let her.

lorieverard avatar
Lori Everard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Listen to what everybody is saying. You have the right to set boundaries. You have the right to be respected and treated with kindness. This behavior of hers is not directed at just you. She does this to other friends and her own family. This is emotional blackmail: " if you love me then you should do this for me," whatever "this" is. Apparently, no one has ever said no to her. Say it with me, "I'm allowed to set boundaries, I deserve to be respected, I deserve to be treated with kindness." The bridezilla isn't doing any of those things for you. Get out now, BEFORE the wedding. If you go, you will be miserable.

madelinetanseybryson avatar
madeline tansey bryson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You say you don't want to end this friendship but like everyone else is saying, you should and you must she will not get any better she will continue being a mean nasty person but you need to look at why you feel like this about her. I believe you need some sort of help especially because you think you need to keep her friendship. Why isn't she telling everyone else not to wear makeup. Why just you? Seriously sweetie get yourself some help. Don't go to her wedding as a moh. Go as a guest of you want. I don't think you should but at least you could wear makeup. Good luck

juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, if she points out your looks like that she is NOT your friend let alone "best" friend. GTFO NOW.

juanitastanton avatar
Lost Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman fight for equality yet woman don't accept each other, this person is not your friend, surround yourself with those who accept, encourage and empower you

megan_tyler_dahle avatar
StayClassy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl -- she has spent this entire "friendship" trying to keep you down. On the other side - with true firends - without her - imagine how you could flourish! I know it's hard to see now, but she is holding you back because of her own pain and insecurities.

xeyetay994 avatar
jessica nora
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Making money online more than $15k just by doing simple work from home. I have received $18376 last month. Its an easy and simple job to do and its earnings are much better than regular office job and even a little child can do this and earns money. Everybody must try this job by just use the info on this page… 🙂 AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====)> 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐛𝐳.𝐜𝐨𝐦

nathanalarcon avatar
Nathan Alarcon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have told her to fein COVID just to get out of going and like everyone else is saying re-evaluate your friendship after.

katrinac avatar
Myxomatosis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should she fake anything? Lying, whether white or harmless fibs, are STILL LIES and will make her look as bad as the bride. As a general rule doing the right thing, although usually the most painful, is ALWAYS the RIGHT thing to do.

Load More Replies...
julberg68 avatar
Juliebug
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think no one has pointed out the obvious... This MOH is turning to social media to "get help" with her dilemma but obviously she isn't a good friend either. When you're friends with someone for several years any issues you have need to be dealt with privately. To me her post seems more like attention seeking behavior. Yes her friend seems to have some self-esteem issues and is maybe being a bit bridezilla. Either work this out between the two of you right now or stop being friends right now.

merabag880 avatar
Teresa995
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I make more then $12,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it… 🙂 AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====) www.fuljobz.com

liseri3878 avatar
jessica johns
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I d it outit.. HERE ?? copy the link.... 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐛𝐳.𝐜𝐨𝐦

weiserhouse avatar
Irish Lad
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

NTA as everyone is saying. She is TAH. But at some point you have to face reality. So I'll be TA. You say you lack self confidence. If I'm dating a girl, I want to date the real girl. I don't want a push-up bra or padded pants. I also want to know what the girl looks like. I have seen girls where I actually have asked myself, "I wonder what she looks like without makeup?" So maybe not at this wedding for your nonfriend but down the road, try a night out without makeup. You might be surprised that people like you for being you.

ingo_3 avatar
lapis lazuli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

how many times do girls have to say this. so what if a girl likes makeup or push up bras. she wears them because it makes her feel beautiful. it's not about how you feel. a girl doesn't have to wear exactly what you want, because she is in charge of her own body and your comments really don't matter. also tbh this explains why you don't have a girlfriend. make sure you tell a girl that you only like "natural girls" so she knows to avoid you

Load More Replies...
mcbridget99 avatar
Gretchen Barone
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

What the c**p.... this is from one year ago on Reddit anyway. Come on Bored Panda....sheesh.

juanjo_1 avatar
Juanjo
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

somehow, in a tiny toxic way, the bride has a point. imo, if they really are friends, and being the moh an artist in makeup, they could find a middle ground. allow her to wear enough make up to cover the scar, and a light (no brillant colors) as a general make up. no red lips, no dark eyes, etc (I'm a man, i have no idea about make up). if the maid is honestly concerned about her confidence, she doesn't need to be a beacon with the amount of makeup and color choices, but good enough to feel safe and let the bride to be the main point of attraction on her special day. if the bride is a true friend, she would allow this.

anneasephillips avatar
Annease Phillips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She already proposed that to the bride and the bride still said no. No makeup and that only applies to OP

Load More Replies...
itisdarkestbeforedawn78 avatar
Beck
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Not that its matters, but this was on Reddit over a year ago.

Popular on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda