Bridesmaid Is Furious That ‘Bridezilla’ Is Demanding She Drop From Size 12 To Size 8, Exposes Her Toxicity Online
We’ve witnessed quite a few ‘bridezillas’ on Bored Panda but I think the term doesn’t even apply to this person. Let me know in the comments if you come up with a better word to describe our antagonist.
Recently, Reddit user JuneBugg85 received such a terrible batch of demands from the woman whose bridal party she was going to attend, u/junebugg85 dropped out of the event. And decided to shame the psycho online.
I know, you might say my words are a little cruel but wait until you see the message JuneBugg85 shared on the subreddit r/ChoosingBeggars. The bride not only requested everyone to send $500 for her honeymoon but also told the bridesmaids to “hit the gym” so they would fit into the dresses she picked out for them.
If that doesn’t earn you a few nasty names, I don’t know what does.
Image credits: Andre Hunter (not the actual photo)
Image credits: junebugg85
Image credits: junebugg85
As of this article, JuneBugg85’s post has over 61K upvotes. “I honestly didn’t think it would get this big,” she told Bored Panda.
JuneBugg85 has been familiar with the hysterical woman since high school but at the time, they didn’t have the same friends group. “She was a grade under me. Super popular girl, very pretty. Everyone loved her. My brother was at the time dating one of her friends and introduced her to my cousin.”
Eventually, the bride learned that JuneBugg85 shared her message on the Internet. “She reached out to me but it wasn’t very friendly and she was very mad. Threatening. And made me question my decision to post this,” Junebugg85 explained. “Her family is now involved and it’s getting pretty messy.”
So far, she hasn’t heard from the other bridesmaids and wedding guests and doesn’t know if they are also boycotting the event. “I’ve been blocked by a lot of the people that were mutual friends and my cousin is also not speaking to me,” Junebugg85 said. “But a lot of people are backing me up saying her demands were outrageous and cruel. I hope my cousin forgives me; I didn’t think this would get so big and just wanted to vent out my frustrations when I posted it.”
After the story went viral, the OP shared more details
Taking a broader look, Michelle Lew, the owner of Lavender Crown Events, a wedding planning company servicing San Jose, Silicon Valley, and the surrounding areas, thinks true ‘bridezillas’ are few and far between. “Like many other stereotypes, the title is portrayed in movies and other media at the extremes,” Lew told Bored Panda. “While it’s certainly a great descriptor for some overly controlling brides, I don’t think it’s nearly as common as people believe. While the word is thrown around a lot, there aren’t many true ‘bridezillas’ out there.”
In her experience as a planner, ‘bridezillas’ are a rare breed. “Often, if the bride wants every little single detail in their control, they will self-plan their wedding. When it comes to the day-of coordination, most brides are too busy enjoying their special day to even realize something may be off!” Lew explained.
“I do, however, have many clients that use the word ‘bridezilla’ when they say it’s something they want to avoid. I always assure them: it’s your day and we will tailor the wedding to meet your expectations. There’s nothing wrong in wanting specifics, but don’t get too bogged down by minor details! Some people may feel like a ‘bridezilla’, but it’s important to realize the difference between overly controlling every little thing and “wedding brain” (getting overwhelmed by each detail and trying to get all the planning done at once).”
Jilly Kay, a lecturer in media and communication at the University of Leicester, thinks that such stories (and especially the term ‘bridezilla’) tell us that our culture is really uncomfortable with the idea of women having power and also women being angry.
“It speaks to this deep anxiety we seem to have with women who assert themselves, want to take control, and have a voice,” Kay said.
“It’s not just project management in terms of running this multi-faceted event, but all the emotional labor that has to go into it – negotiating complex family politics and making sure that everybody’s happy,” she explained.
If some women snap under the pressure, it is hardly surprising, but the trope of ‘bridezilla’ is “part of the way we don’t value the kind of emotional labor women are doing all the time.”
“Since I’ve started wedding planning, this is one story that replays in my mind like a catchy advertisement jingle. I’ve occasionally sent this to clients as an example of an extreme. If any bride thinks they’re being a bridezilla but really aren’t yet, I always show them this example to let them know that their current level of control over their wants is totally okay!” Lew concluded.
People were absolutely baffled
When you really wanted to elope but they maliciously pressured you to have this huge fancy wedding that gives you nightmares. Now you desperately plan to alienate absolutely everybody before the wedding so that you can still elope. Other than that, I see absolutely no excuse to go full bridezilla mode.
At our wedding my wife's 3 bridesmaids were all different sizes/shapes, and one of them had recently had a heart transplant, so she had a pretty prominent scar running up her abdomen to the base of her neck. My wife picked out the dresses - all simple, sage green - and had a tailor fit them to each woman, including changing the neckline on her heart transplant friend to tastefully and beautifully cover her scar. My wife is a good person.
That was kind of her. Plus I like the trend of the bridesmaids being in slightly different dresses and hairstyles! It doesn't look so boring and the ladies look more relaxed in a dress that suits them.
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Weddings seem to turn dreadful people into narcissistic nightmares. I can't ever imagine reminding people they need to pay for my honeymoon
I agree. My mother would have slapped me into next week if I would have said something like that for my wedding.
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I think planning your wedding from the time you were in diapers leads to some kind of psychosis in the long run.
I worked with a woman who often talked about her wedding - it sounded well-planned, and all that was missing was a partner.
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Modern couples that REQUIRE you to purchase an expensive gift or "donate" a predetermined amount of money as gift are absolutely tasteless in my book and I will not go to your wedding no matter who you are and how closely related we are. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good gift giver, I always take their needs/wants into consideration and I'm always as generous as my wallet allows but it pisses me off when they set the bar so high for some of their guests, some people have children, debt, low paying jobs, are recovering from some sort of misfortune... be considerate of them, don't REQUIRE anything, their presence is the gift, if they bring a gift (big or small) it's a very much appreciated extra. My husband and I required NO gifts, we had been living together for many years before our wedding so we didn't need a blender or hoover, we also paid for our own honeymoon - stop being a monster and asking for monetary/material compensation in exchange for an invite, that's digusting!
Simple solution to bridezillas: Ignore them, stay away from them and their wedding day and instead have a nice day with people you really like.
I kinda feel sorry for her. If she's been looking forward to and planning her dream wedding since she was a kid, it goes to show what encouragement and aspirations her parents have given her... her only self worth is to be a 'wifey'. Once the wedding is over, what is left for her? To have the perfect family with the perfect husband? And that's all her life means? Her parents must really suck - this poor woman knows no different. Don't go but also, don't be mean back and encourage her to fulfil a few goals of her own.
In reference to Jill Kay's comment in the article, people are not afraid of women who are strong. They don't like women who are being b*tches about it.
Exactly! This does not showcase a "woman in control". Bridezilla is pretty much not in control. "In control" would be like asking bridesmaids for their sizes etc. For me a German, this whole stuff you hear about US weddings is totally over the top even in the "good" cases. Here is is _mostly_ like this: 1. no diamond rings required 2. We are having a wedding. Here are some present suggestions (ours ranged between 20 - 200 $). People know money presents are welcome (you make up all sorts of designs to present coins and paper money). 3. (at least at my time) Same-dressed Bridesmaids & Bestmen were not a thing. 4. We called out for the wedding, when we could afford the feast, the hotel for some of the guests and had our own honeymoon booked. As someone said, guests attending is your present, the presents they bring are a bonus. (I have seen a lot of weddings from cultures that work the way that the very big feast is actually paid with the donations by the guests, but that's not the rule here.)
Load More Replies... I don’t know if it’s just me, but I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of attending this wedding, never mind trying to shame the bride for being an asshole. I simply don’t partake. She is a waste of time.
Being in Oklahoma it might also be a long way from anywhere.
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My best friend turned into one of these before her wedding. Not as harsh but bad enough that I skipped the reception. My husband got into a small fender bender I was so happy to use that as the excuse to leave. I said car accident though
I wanna know why the bestie isn't the maid of honour and is just a guest. Did she tell bridezilla where to shove her requirements?
In the post she said it was because she was dark skin Cherokee Indian and would stand out next to her.
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So the text in between the photos? One was talking like we shouldn't be irritated by bridezillas because it's 'emotional stress' and we 'don't realize how much pressure women are under' and 'it's their way of expressing them'. As a girl, that's BS. You have very little reason to be cruel and demanding to other people- bridezillas don't deserve such support.
Exactly! There's a difference between confidently asserting oneself and being aggressive and cruel.
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It has been shown that the more demanding the bride, the more expensive the wedding and dress, the shorter the marriage. You would not believe how the majority of these brides behave to their mothers when they go "shopping."
Total insanity. I would have noped out of that pending disaster too. Who asks for donations towards the honeymoon, let alone makes them obligatory? The emotional labour expected of bridesmaids is huge already for most weddings, without adding demands for weight loss and major hairstyle changes.
If any of this is true... the bride has never (or rarely) had someone say no to her throughout her life and they've created a monster.
My guess is that her mother gave her the idea early in life that being a pretty bride was the pinnacle of achievement for a woman.
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Another thing that I only learned when my sister got married; bridesmaid dress sizing is all over the map, so a size 8 dress might be closer to a size 4 or 6 (I usually wear an 8 and had to get a size 12 dress to fit).
My niece was asked to pay $1000 to be in a wedding. That $1000 did not include the dress, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party or anything. The $1000 was the "donation" to the bride and groom for the "honor of being in the wedding." Needless to say, she noped right out of that.
$1000? I'd pay that if the reception was catered by Gordon Ramsay, Wynton Marsalis was playing, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were the emcees, and Bill Murray crashed the wedding. F**k paying for "honor", my boss pays me to honor my deadlines.
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What if your are a size 4 or 6. Does that mean you have to GAIN weight to be at her reception?
Of course. Go to gym, too. She may be a gym owner looking for clients!
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When you care more about the wedding than the marriage. I give it a year.
seriously dislike the idea from the social media lecturer that this is all about people being uncomfortable with women having power she's wrong it's about women abusing power- and we dislike abuse of power from men or women
We did a small not too far or expensive destination wedding. We only had a MOH and best man. My maid of honor was always out of town for work so she picked out her own dress. I just wanted it a mauve or burgundy color to match the the fake flowers. She found a cute spaghetti strap just below the knee floral print that was perfect! $50 bucks. And she was able to wear it to a friends wedding later. Keep it simple, you'll have more fun!
Honestly? I couldn't care less if the groom is a close cousin, he could be my brother and I would drop out of that horror immediately! What a terrible, terrible person that woman is... No thanks, I'd rather spend the 500$ on myself and family. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
My brother didn't invite me to his wedding, because his now ex wife limited how may he was allowed to invite, which was basically parents and one more person. She invited all her friends (20+ people) though.
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"since I was in diapers"??? Yeah, ok. The whole thing is hilariously fuckked up.
My partner and I didn't even have our own parents at our wedding and we didn't even elope. It just didn't work out for people to be there (destination wedding as it was a cheaper option back then). But it was what we wanted and we moved on. We didn't ask for gifts, cards, anything from anyone. Was it the wedding I dreamt of as a child? Nope! But it was a damn beautiful and a perfect one for us as adults. People honestly need to be more realistic when they get older especially when it comes to weddings. Especially as it may not be the only wedding/marriage.
I sure hope her husband-to-be has a big old "Wake Up Sandwich" soon and makes a run for the hills. Could you imagine? I always read these and think they are a joke, but no, actual real-life people behave like this. Unreal.
I kind of wonder about this match overall. I mean the bride seems so about the wedding and for so long that she might have just been looking to find the guy who would look best plugged into her what she pictures her wedding to be. Probably very little realistic thought about how her marriage is going to be. Although, I bet what she has thought of is delusional as well.
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How does this woman have any friends let alone someone willing to marry her? Oof
The WORST people in life have toonnnnnssss of friends. It’s practically a requirement that in order to have loads of friends, you gotta be a shitbag.
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Why do people take weddings so seriously...it's a cash grab...a way to just spend and spend for what? Also, this woman is cray-cray. Lol. Sizes for her BMs, no children and they have to pay $500...hell to the no. Enjoy your wedding and I hope your honeymoon is nothing like you imagined (sorry to the groom if he's actually a cool guy but dude...you struck out).
I don’t get why she cares about the size of her bridesmaids. The fatter they are, the thinner she will look. What difference does it make? I get wanting them all in the same dress with the same nails and similar hair styles but I don’t see why people take it so far. Like she must want people to cut their hair as well. Wtf? ALSO: Some of this stuff, if she just didn’t say anything, she would get her way. Like buy all the dresses in size 8 but don’t say anything about it. Invite your guests and tell them you want donations for a honeymoon. That’s normal. Just don’t demand it and you’ll still end up getting it. As a guest, I’d still attend the wedding since it’s child free and i would spare the $500 just to see how crazy it got and how the bridesmaids looked.
if you buy all the gowns in a size 8 and they don't fit the bridesmaids, that will be problematic
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I love these posts. I am planning a wedding right now and I am so grateful I'm not like this. I am shocked at the audacity of DEMANDING money for the honeymoon. My fiancé and I have been together almost 5 years and bought our first home already so techincally we don't "need" anything. But we are stating that in Lieu of traditional gifts we would appreciate donations to our honeymoon fund. But it's not "mandatory" and we even stated "your presence is present enough, but if you are so inclined to give us a gift..... blah blah blah" you get the idea. This chick is disgusting and good on her friend for bowing out.
Oh, and also: what kind of a parent are you, if you agree to have your child used as a flower girl, and then have her put on the curb like trash...?
that's one of the few things here that might be reasonable. many little children won't enjoy a wedding
Load More Replies... Wow... does she actually want to build a life with this guy, or does she just want a white wedding.
Every time I read one of these stories I wonder whether the bride has ever heard the word “NO” and why she thinks she is the center of everyone’s universe. Just imagine what she would be like as a parent. Or, a wife, for that matter. Selfish, self-important, arrogant, “special” (in a very bad way). Good luck to the groom, he’s going to need it!
I do not understand where brides think people are thrilled to be part of the wedding party. Am I wrong, or do most woman want to be part of this?
When my friends have gotten married, it was so much fun to be a part of the wedding and to help her have a big day and party with the new couple and all of that, but I was never in a situation where these types of demands were made on me. The worst bride I ever dealt with as a member of her wedding party was one that wanted us all to wear 6" heels to walk down the aisle. We bought them and wore them to her bridal shower. When she saw we could NOT glide gracefully, she cracked up laughing and said, "just wear nude shoes". No problem. We returned the stilettos and bought reasonable shoes. I have never been asked to spend a large sum of money on a bridesmaid dress or do anything crazy to my hair. Although, I did stay up all night one night trying to get a chocolate fountain to work for the reception.
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This kind of insanity always boggles me. Also: racist? When the hell did that come into it? The OP merely posted the bride's own words. Maybe I missed something subtle. And yeah, Oklahoma in December... that's going to be a disaster. And she'll probably be pissed off that some 2000+-year-old Jewish guy is stealing all the attention from her special day.
Apparently in the reddit post we find out the reason her 'bestie' isn't part of the wedding party is she's Cherokee and her skin colour would make her stand out next to the bride.
Load More Replies... I'm sure it's sad for these bridesmaids and all. But for them it's only a day, or maybe a few. Who I feel really sorry for is the groom; he's signing up for life! Doesn't he understand that this will only get worse? Doesn't he have any friends that try to get him to wake up?
Maybe he's just as bad in his own way? Shallow people tend to attract other shallow people, I've found.
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I just don't get it. Why do you need to ask other people about this?? Obviously the bride is an a hole with all those rules AND she wants you to "donate" $500 for her honeymoon. Like seriously, why is this even a question? Dump the b itch, get better REAL friends and forget about her.
Wedding tragedies are the new Disney princesses... u.u I was avoiding these articles, but, please, enough is enough.
I’d take like ten bridezilla bullshît posts over one Disney princess post. BP will fûck around and make a Disney Bridezilla post here soon.
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If they aren't already and often they are, bridezillas are Karens in training. Don't engage; that's not a hill you want to die on.
"However, Jilly Kay, a lecturer in media and communication at the University of Leicester, thinks that such stories (and especially the term ‘bridezilla’) tell us that our culture is really uncomfortable with the idea of women having power and also women being angry." What a bunch of bull-pucky. Rudeness and tyranny are no way to show power, no matter who or what you are. And if this is the kind of power and anger we are being demanded to respect, it's no wonder that some people think women are irrational. Would we be having the same conversation if the subject was groomzillas?
This whole thing is completely insane, the kicker for me is the hair, there is no one who's wedding is worth my hair. I hope for OP's sake she continues to block her.
What an apeshit crazy empty vessel with zero personality. I wonder how she convinced anyone to marry her
Let me see if I understand correctly, besides the present, she expects people to give $500 for their honeymoon?
So.. she’s forcing people to cut their hair, lose a s**t ton of weight, give her $500, and hire a babysitter to take care of their kids. I call bullshit.
Karma is a be-icht, don't think she can't show up and prove who's in charge! I've heard of weddings that become a hot mess and the brides (with Grooms) handle themselves with grace and style. They are the ones that will fare the best. You have to get married to have a wedding, but do not have to have a wedding to get married. Set the priorities of what is important for your future, the wedding is not really.
It's one thing to empower women, and a whole other thing to empower entitled, asking too much , brats.
You probably can but it's a waste of time and will likely cost you money and you still won't get your way.
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Nothing satisfies me more than seeing these bridezillas not even making it to the aisle or getting a divorce shortly after because they are insufferable. I worked many weddings when I was in uni and can't stand most brides.
You should've heard my cousin J. Everyone had to be thin, but not too pretty, and wear a color NOBODY looks good in, etc. etc etc., and we were meant to show up with $150 cash atop a gift. We all trolled her for that crap. I wore a color I like, her own sister showed up without having bathed, done makeup or washed hair, or wearing a bra, b/c if she had to wear Ugly-Making, she wasn't bothering.... Yeah, she got the point halfway through the reception when the $150 most people left came from... board games. (One relative said, "I left you two grand" but it was two grand in bills from an old game of LIFE.) They're real. they exist. It's like the diamond engagement ring scrambles their common sense.
Load More Replies... It may be a small detail, but what infuriates me most is to unwelcome children yet exploit them to throw flowers.
I was thinking the same thing! And then making the poor kid leave immediately after? That's just insane.
Load More Replies... Hahahahaha!!! I’ve never seen a post so cruel and nasty! I’m actually a size 0- even after having 3 kids. I can’t gain weight. Doctors checked everything, just a very high metabolism. But I can’t gain weight no matter what I do. I can’t imagine being told to be a size 8, asking for $500 per person, etc. I’m very sensitive about my body and that comment would hurt. But on top of that everything else? Best friend is not MOA? A guest? Thanks flower girl for your free service, you can go home now. You’re dismissed. I want an update. Did they divorce? Have kids? Is she still a “size 8”? This absolutely sickens me
I was married 50 years ago. Best friend and my sis were my only two bridesmaids, and I chose super simple dresses that my parents paid for (and they were, typical of the early 1970's, VERY ugly now that I think about it, although they seemed pretty at the time). My own dress, which I paid for, was very pretty, and the wedding itself, not what I wanted, was super affordable. I didn't want, nor have, an extravagant affair. The reception cost far more than anything else, and the in-laws insisted on paying for that. My stupid 2nd wedding/marriage was even simpler. We've been divorced for over 30 yrs. I finally figured out I'm not good wife material. I hate marriage too much.
I planned my wedding meticulously for Over a YEAR, and then Guess What? A HURRICANE blew threw and Ruined ALL my plans (was supposed to be on a yacht) And 50% of the people I invited from out of town, their flights got CANCELLED. Absolute DISASTER. Still got married, and had the Best time of my life...Overall, I think i handled it pretty well, but i can't imagine how people like *This* jerka$$ above would handle something like that. lmao
What baby plans a wedding already xD I know for sure I only wanted to eat and sleep when I was a baby.
I sincerely Think that at the end of this escapade, she will have no friends and very little family left. And would I care if she or anyone else unfriends me......Nope!
If I ever get married I will make sure to have it on a mountain and only those who can hike wearing high heels (including the males) whilst singing Kumbaya and solving an ancient mathematical equation will be invited. Otherwise, STAY HOME! No offense of course to those who find singing difficult. It's MY day after all, stuff the hubby to be, he doesn't look good in high heels anyway. See you there! Mwwwwaaaaah!
Tell her to enjoy her “Size-8 wedding” & let her know that your mates will be joining you on the most glorious feasts available, all whilst she sucks her tummy in just to fit in that fluffy white dress! Toxic friends don’t deserve all that support, especially if it’s not going to be noticed in the end. Ditch & find those greener pastures!
I'll never understand this American bridesmaid nonsese. What is the point?? And the pcitures look weird with all these identical dressed people
I had a hippie wedding on a mountain, and let my bridesmaids wear whatever they wanted to be comfortable. I made my own dress, my husband made himself a vest of chamois cloth, I created the bridesmaids bouquets, and my own, and my cousins baked carrot sheet cakes for the reception. People talked about how happy they were to attend for YEARS!
I have to admit, my sister also bought the dress a few sizes smaller to encourage me to lose weight. I felt very manipulated but I managed it. The $500 fee gets me though!
She'd better pray that her marriage is as "perfect" as she hopes her wedding will be. She sounds like a self-centered twit with unreasonable expectations of what her wedding AND her married life will be like. Very sad.
All of you bridesmaids and "friends" that are pretty cheesed about this get together for a nice holiday in Hawaii when this totally selfish wedding is on and send her pictures of you having a good time on the day. I'm sure you can do it for less that 500 each even if you have to have a tent on the beach! Have a good holiday girls.
She is the one who deserves some of the horrible behavior I have seen at weddings by guests and those who were not exactly guests. One showed up in jeans, no shirt, no shoes, swigging from a whiskey bottle, (toasted the bride of course) and then took a huge handful of cake (precut) on his way out.
So, if she has a bridesmaid that is 5'1" and another that is 5'8" they are supposed to wear the same dress size? Life doesn't quite work that way. Wouldn't the wedding be better with all the participants actually enjoying the ceremony? Honey or vinegar. Which is sweeter? And easier to swallow.
How long do we all think this marriage will last?? I would love to hear a follow up a year later... 5 years later
If a person cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run fast, run far. Whether you're a future spouse or bridesmaid or groomsman or even a guest.
This is twisted and madness. Perfect weddings are not about money or appearances. If anyone here wants to see the most amazing wedding I've seen, watch Jonna Jinton's wedding video on Youtube. She is a professional photographer and artist, and the kindest and purest person. Here are links - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJMbAS3lmno and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB2cebY_7-U
I find that these over-the-top fancy-schmancy weddings are nothing more than a big girl's version of little girl dress up...or a big girl's version of a little girl's tea party for her dolls--with live people taking the place of the dolls. Complete with the tantrums if things don't go just so.
Totally get the "no kids" rule. Children ruin everything. Other than that: please party alone!
If you can't afford a grand wedding and a posh honeymoon don't. The audacity to demand for payment in the form of "'donations". Don't these people have any self-respect?
Okay, the bride is self-absorbed and unreasonable at every level, but I am definitely calling BS on the "usually 70" in Oklahoma in December. It gets cold there, too.
Somehow I doubt that you'e been planning your wedding since you were a baby.
That first thing about December is an out and out lie. I don't live there, but I have family there. They get worse winters than here in Texas.
I have mixed feelings about the whole "Bridezilla" label. Until I got married myself, I never dreamed that so many people would feel entitled to put so many demands on me regarding my own wedding. So on that level, I think you have to cut brides a little bit of slack because they're dealing with a lot of nonsense and are bound to lose their minds at some point. That said, I don't understand this trend where women dream of a fancy wedding, and then they ruin it by doing such tacky, low-class things. To my thinking, you want your first big social event as a couple to show that you're generous, considerate, fun-loving people who care about their friends and family. Begging your guests for money, banning their children, and demanding that they look a certain way creates a really bad impression and a lot of ill will. What bad karma to start a marriage that way!
honestly i think you can make demands just not about peoples sizes. the fake tan one is reasonable, for the extensions it depends, but the guidelines for the nails are very reasonable.
I'm sorry but if you think requiring YOUR friend who likes wearing her hair short to PAY for expensive hair extensions just because you don't like short hair... then you're a bad friend and a shitty person. I hate fake tans but if my best friend liked them and was constantly tanned, then that's her right and I either love and accept her as she is or I don't. A wedding is a celebration of love and commitment that you invite your dear and near ones to witness, not a Broadway production where you can tell people they have to look a certain way to be part of the day... that's some narcissistic bullshit. Anyone who tells you: if you want to come to my wedding/be in my wedding party you have to change this about yourself or "donate" this much... does not love you, is not a friend, and please don't waste your time, money and effort to go to that wedding.
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No need to be that rude! I don't think there is ever a reaosn to use that word. That being said, she is definitely a rude bridezilla.
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When you really wanted to elope but they maliciously pressured you to have this huge fancy wedding that gives you nightmares. Now you desperately plan to alienate absolutely everybody before the wedding so that you can still elope. Other than that, I see absolutely no excuse to go full bridezilla mode.
At our wedding my wife's 3 bridesmaids were all different sizes/shapes, and one of them had recently had a heart transplant, so she had a pretty prominent scar running up her abdomen to the base of her neck. My wife picked out the dresses - all simple, sage green - and had a tailor fit them to each woman, including changing the neckline on her heart transplant friend to tastefully and beautifully cover her scar. My wife is a good person.
That was kind of her. Plus I like the trend of the bridesmaids being in slightly different dresses and hairstyles! It doesn't look so boring and the ladies look more relaxed in a dress that suits them.
Load More Replies... Weddings seem to turn dreadful people into narcissistic nightmares. I can't ever imagine reminding people they need to pay for my honeymoon
I agree. My mother would have slapped me into next week if I would have said something like that for my wedding.
Load More Replies... I think planning your wedding from the time you were in diapers leads to some kind of psychosis in the long run.
I worked with a woman who often talked about her wedding - it sounded well-planned, and all that was missing was a partner.
Load More Replies... Modern couples that REQUIRE you to purchase an expensive gift or "donate" a predetermined amount of money as gift are absolutely tasteless in my book and I will not go to your wedding no matter who you are and how closely related we are. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good gift giver, I always take their needs/wants into consideration and I'm always as generous as my wallet allows but it pisses me off when they set the bar so high for some of their guests, some people have children, debt, low paying jobs, are recovering from some sort of misfortune... be considerate of them, don't REQUIRE anything, their presence is the gift, if they bring a gift (big or small) it's a very much appreciated extra. My husband and I required NO gifts, we had been living together for many years before our wedding so we didn't need a blender or hoover, we also paid for our own honeymoon - stop being a monster and asking for monetary/material compensation in exchange for an invite, that's digusting!
Simple solution to bridezillas: Ignore them, stay away from them and their wedding day and instead have a nice day with people you really like.
I kinda feel sorry for her. If she's been looking forward to and planning her dream wedding since she was a kid, it goes to show what encouragement and aspirations her parents have given her... her only self worth is to be a 'wifey'. Once the wedding is over, what is left for her? To have the perfect family with the perfect husband? And that's all her life means? Her parents must really suck - this poor woman knows no different. Don't go but also, don't be mean back and encourage her to fulfil a few goals of her own.
In reference to Jill Kay's comment in the article, people are not afraid of women who are strong. They don't like women who are being b*tches about it.
Exactly! This does not showcase a "woman in control". Bridezilla is pretty much not in control. "In control" would be like asking bridesmaids for their sizes etc. For me a German, this whole stuff you hear about US weddings is totally over the top even in the "good" cases. Here is is _mostly_ like this: 1. no diamond rings required 2. We are having a wedding. Here are some present suggestions (ours ranged between 20 - 200 $). People know money presents are welcome (you make up all sorts of designs to present coins and paper money). 3. (at least at my time) Same-dressed Bridesmaids & Bestmen were not a thing. 4. We called out for the wedding, when we could afford the feast, the hotel for some of the guests and had our own honeymoon booked. As someone said, guests attending is your present, the presents they bring are a bonus. (I have seen a lot of weddings from cultures that work the way that the very big feast is actually paid with the donations by the guests, but that's not the rule here.)
Load More Replies... I don’t know if it’s just me, but I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of attending this wedding, never mind trying to shame the bride for being an asshole. I simply don’t partake. She is a waste of time.
Being in Oklahoma it might also be a long way from anywhere.
Load More Replies... My best friend turned into one of these before her wedding. Not as harsh but bad enough that I skipped the reception. My husband got into a small fender bender I was so happy to use that as the excuse to leave. I said car accident though
I wanna know why the bestie isn't the maid of honour and is just a guest. Did she tell bridezilla where to shove her requirements?
In the post she said it was because she was dark skin Cherokee Indian and would stand out next to her.
Load More Replies... So the text in between the photos? One was talking like we shouldn't be irritated by bridezillas because it's 'emotional stress' and we 'don't realize how much pressure women are under' and 'it's their way of expressing them'. As a girl, that's BS. You have very little reason to be cruel and demanding to other people- bridezillas don't deserve such support.
Exactly! There's a difference between confidently asserting oneself and being aggressive and cruel.
Load More Replies... It has been shown that the more demanding the bride, the more expensive the wedding and dress, the shorter the marriage. You would not believe how the majority of these brides behave to their mothers when they go "shopping."
Total insanity. I would have noped out of that pending disaster too. Who asks for donations towards the honeymoon, let alone makes them obligatory? The emotional labour expected of bridesmaids is huge already for most weddings, without adding demands for weight loss and major hairstyle changes.
If any of this is true... the bride has never (or rarely) had someone say no to her throughout her life and they've created a monster.
My guess is that her mother gave her the idea early in life that being a pretty bride was the pinnacle of achievement for a woman.
Load More Replies... Another thing that I only learned when my sister got married; bridesmaid dress sizing is all over the map, so a size 8 dress might be closer to a size 4 or 6 (I usually wear an 8 and had to get a size 12 dress to fit).
My niece was asked to pay $1000 to be in a wedding. That $1000 did not include the dress, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party or anything. The $1000 was the "donation" to the bride and groom for the "honor of being in the wedding." Needless to say, she noped right out of that.
$1000? I'd pay that if the reception was catered by Gordon Ramsay, Wynton Marsalis was playing, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were the emcees, and Bill Murray crashed the wedding. F**k paying for "honor", my boss pays me to honor my deadlines.
Load More Replies... What if your are a size 4 or 6. Does that mean you have to GAIN weight to be at her reception?
Of course. Go to gym, too. She may be a gym owner looking for clients!
Load More Replies... When you care more about the wedding than the marriage. I give it a year.
seriously dislike the idea from the social media lecturer that this is all about people being uncomfortable with women having power she's wrong it's about women abusing power- and we dislike abuse of power from men or women
We did a small not too far or expensive destination wedding. We only had a MOH and best man. My maid of honor was always out of town for work so she picked out her own dress. I just wanted it a mauve or burgundy color to match the the fake flowers. She found a cute spaghetti strap just below the knee floral print that was perfect! $50 bucks. And she was able to wear it to a friends wedding later. Keep it simple, you'll have more fun!
Honestly? I couldn't care less if the groom is a close cousin, he could be my brother and I would drop out of that horror immediately! What a terrible, terrible person that woman is... No thanks, I'd rather spend the 500$ on myself and family. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
My brother didn't invite me to his wedding, because his now ex wife limited how may he was allowed to invite, which was basically parents and one more person. She invited all her friends (20+ people) though.
Load More Replies... "since I was in diapers"??? Yeah, ok. The whole thing is hilariously fuckked up.
My partner and I didn't even have our own parents at our wedding and we didn't even elope. It just didn't work out for people to be there (destination wedding as it was a cheaper option back then). But it was what we wanted and we moved on. We didn't ask for gifts, cards, anything from anyone. Was it the wedding I dreamt of as a child? Nope! But it was a damn beautiful and a perfect one for us as adults. People honestly need to be more realistic when they get older especially when it comes to weddings. Especially as it may not be the only wedding/marriage.
I sure hope her husband-to-be has a big old "Wake Up Sandwich" soon and makes a run for the hills. Could you imagine? I always read these and think they are a joke, but no, actual real-life people behave like this. Unreal.
I kind of wonder about this match overall. I mean the bride seems so about the wedding and for so long that she might have just been looking to find the guy who would look best plugged into her what she pictures her wedding to be. Probably very little realistic thought about how her marriage is going to be. Although, I bet what she has thought of is delusional as well.
Load More Replies... How does this woman have any friends let alone someone willing to marry her? Oof
The WORST people in life have toonnnnnssss of friends. It’s practically a requirement that in order to have loads of friends, you gotta be a shitbag.
Load More Replies... Why do people take weddings so seriously...it's a cash grab...a way to just spend and spend for what? Also, this woman is cray-cray. Lol. Sizes for her BMs, no children and they have to pay $500...hell to the no. Enjoy your wedding and I hope your honeymoon is nothing like you imagined (sorry to the groom if he's actually a cool guy but dude...you struck out).
I don’t get why she cares about the size of her bridesmaids. The fatter they are, the thinner she will look. What difference does it make? I get wanting them all in the same dress with the same nails and similar hair styles but I don’t see why people take it so far. Like she must want people to cut their hair as well. Wtf? ALSO: Some of this stuff, if she just didn’t say anything, she would get her way. Like buy all the dresses in size 8 but don’t say anything about it. Invite your guests and tell them you want donations for a honeymoon. That’s normal. Just don’t demand it and you’ll still end up getting it. As a guest, I’d still attend the wedding since it’s child free and i would spare the $500 just to see how crazy it got and how the bridesmaids looked.
if you buy all the gowns in a size 8 and they don't fit the bridesmaids, that will be problematic
Load More Replies... I love these posts. I am planning a wedding right now and I am so grateful I'm not like this. I am shocked at the audacity of DEMANDING money for the honeymoon. My fiancé and I have been together almost 5 years and bought our first home already so techincally we don't "need" anything. But we are stating that in Lieu of traditional gifts we would appreciate donations to our honeymoon fund. But it's not "mandatory" and we even stated "your presence is present enough, but if you are so inclined to give us a gift..... blah blah blah" you get the idea. This chick is disgusting and good on her friend for bowing out.
Oh, and also: what kind of a parent are you, if you agree to have your child used as a flower girl, and then have her put on the curb like trash...?
that's one of the few things here that might be reasonable. many little children won't enjoy a wedding
Load More Replies... Wow... does she actually want to build a life with this guy, or does she just want a white wedding.
Every time I read one of these stories I wonder whether the bride has ever heard the word “NO” and why she thinks she is the center of everyone’s universe. Just imagine what she would be like as a parent. Or, a wife, for that matter. Selfish, self-important, arrogant, “special” (in a very bad way). Good luck to the groom, he’s going to need it!
I do not understand where brides think people are thrilled to be part of the wedding party. Am I wrong, or do most woman want to be part of this?
When my friends have gotten married, it was so much fun to be a part of the wedding and to help her have a big day and party with the new couple and all of that, but I was never in a situation where these types of demands were made on me. The worst bride I ever dealt with as a member of her wedding party was one that wanted us all to wear 6" heels to walk down the aisle. We bought them and wore them to her bridal shower. When she saw we could NOT glide gracefully, she cracked up laughing and said, "just wear nude shoes". No problem. We returned the stilettos and bought reasonable shoes. I have never been asked to spend a large sum of money on a bridesmaid dress or do anything crazy to my hair. Although, I did stay up all night one night trying to get a chocolate fountain to work for the reception.
Load More Replies... This kind of insanity always boggles me. Also: racist? When the hell did that come into it? The OP merely posted the bride's own words. Maybe I missed something subtle. And yeah, Oklahoma in December... that's going to be a disaster. And she'll probably be pissed off that some 2000+-year-old Jewish guy is stealing all the attention from her special day.
Apparently in the reddit post we find out the reason her 'bestie' isn't part of the wedding party is she's Cherokee and her skin colour would make her stand out next to the bride.
Load More Replies... I'm sure it's sad for these bridesmaids and all. But for them it's only a day, or maybe a few. Who I feel really sorry for is the groom; he's signing up for life! Doesn't he understand that this will only get worse? Doesn't he have any friends that try to get him to wake up?
Maybe he's just as bad in his own way? Shallow people tend to attract other shallow people, I've found.
Load More Replies... I just don't get it. Why do you need to ask other people about this?? Obviously the bride is an a hole with all those rules AND she wants you to "donate" $500 for her honeymoon. Like seriously, why is this even a question? Dump the b itch, get better REAL friends and forget about her.
Wedding tragedies are the new Disney princesses... u.u I was avoiding these articles, but, please, enough is enough.
I’d take like ten bridezilla bullshît posts over one Disney princess post. BP will fûck around and make a Disney Bridezilla post here soon.
Load More Replies... If they aren't already and often they are, bridezillas are Karens in training. Don't engage; that's not a hill you want to die on.
"However, Jilly Kay, a lecturer in media and communication at the University of Leicester, thinks that such stories (and especially the term ‘bridezilla’) tell us that our culture is really uncomfortable with the idea of women having power and also women being angry." What a bunch of bull-pucky. Rudeness and tyranny are no way to show power, no matter who or what you are. And if this is the kind of power and anger we are being demanded to respect, it's no wonder that some people think women are irrational. Would we be having the same conversation if the subject was groomzillas?
This whole thing is completely insane, the kicker for me is the hair, there is no one who's wedding is worth my hair. I hope for OP's sake she continues to block her.
What an apeshit crazy empty vessel with zero personality. I wonder how she convinced anyone to marry her
Let me see if I understand correctly, besides the present, she expects people to give $500 for their honeymoon?
So.. she’s forcing people to cut their hair, lose a s**t ton of weight, give her $500, and hire a babysitter to take care of their kids. I call bullshit.
Karma is a be-icht, don't think she can't show up and prove who's in charge! I've heard of weddings that become a hot mess and the brides (with Grooms) handle themselves with grace and style. They are the ones that will fare the best. You have to get married to have a wedding, but do not have to have a wedding to get married. Set the priorities of what is important for your future, the wedding is not really.
It's one thing to empower women, and a whole other thing to empower entitled, asking too much , brats.
You probably can but it's a waste of time and will likely cost you money and you still won't get your way.
Load More Replies... Nothing satisfies me more than seeing these bridezillas not even making it to the aisle or getting a divorce shortly after because they are insufferable. I worked many weddings when I was in uni and can't stand most brides.
You should've heard my cousin J. Everyone had to be thin, but not too pretty, and wear a color NOBODY looks good in, etc. etc etc., and we were meant to show up with $150 cash atop a gift. We all trolled her for that crap. I wore a color I like, her own sister showed up without having bathed, done makeup or washed hair, or wearing a bra, b/c if she had to wear Ugly-Making, she wasn't bothering.... Yeah, she got the point halfway through the reception when the $150 most people left came from... board games. (One relative said, "I left you two grand" but it was two grand in bills from an old game of LIFE.) They're real. they exist. It's like the diamond engagement ring scrambles their common sense.
Load More Replies... It may be a small detail, but what infuriates me most is to unwelcome children yet exploit them to throw flowers.
I was thinking the same thing! And then making the poor kid leave immediately after? That's just insane.
Load More Replies... Hahahahaha!!! I’ve never seen a post so cruel and nasty! I’m actually a size 0- even after having 3 kids. I can’t gain weight. Doctors checked everything, just a very high metabolism. But I can’t gain weight no matter what I do. I can’t imagine being told to be a size 8, asking for $500 per person, etc. I’m very sensitive about my body and that comment would hurt. But on top of that everything else? Best friend is not MOA? A guest? Thanks flower girl for your free service, you can go home now. You’re dismissed. I want an update. Did they divorce? Have kids? Is she still a “size 8”? This absolutely sickens me
I was married 50 years ago. Best friend and my sis were my only two bridesmaids, and I chose super simple dresses that my parents paid for (and they were, typical of the early 1970's, VERY ugly now that I think about it, although they seemed pretty at the time). My own dress, which I paid for, was very pretty, and the wedding itself, not what I wanted, was super affordable. I didn't want, nor have, an extravagant affair. The reception cost far more than anything else, and the in-laws insisted on paying for that. My stupid 2nd wedding/marriage was even simpler. We've been divorced for over 30 yrs. I finally figured out I'm not good wife material. I hate marriage too much.
I planned my wedding meticulously for Over a YEAR, and then Guess What? A HURRICANE blew threw and Ruined ALL my plans (was supposed to be on a yacht) And 50% of the people I invited from out of town, their flights got CANCELLED. Absolute DISASTER. Still got married, and had the Best time of my life...Overall, I think i handled it pretty well, but i can't imagine how people like *This* jerka$$ above would handle something like that. lmao
What baby plans a wedding already xD I know for sure I only wanted to eat and sleep when I was a baby.
I sincerely Think that at the end of this escapade, she will have no friends and very little family left. And would I care if she or anyone else unfriends me......Nope!
If I ever get married I will make sure to have it on a mountain and only those who can hike wearing high heels (including the males) whilst singing Kumbaya and solving an ancient mathematical equation will be invited. Otherwise, STAY HOME! No offense of course to those who find singing difficult. It's MY day after all, stuff the hubby to be, he doesn't look good in high heels anyway. See you there! Mwwwwaaaaah!
Tell her to enjoy her “Size-8 wedding” & let her know that your mates will be joining you on the most glorious feasts available, all whilst she sucks her tummy in just to fit in that fluffy white dress! Toxic friends don’t deserve all that support, especially if it’s not going to be noticed in the end. Ditch & find those greener pastures!
I'll never understand this American bridesmaid nonsese. What is the point?? And the pcitures look weird with all these identical dressed people
I had a hippie wedding on a mountain, and let my bridesmaids wear whatever they wanted to be comfortable. I made my own dress, my husband made himself a vest of chamois cloth, I created the bridesmaids bouquets, and my own, and my cousins baked carrot sheet cakes for the reception. People talked about how happy they were to attend for YEARS!
I have to admit, my sister also bought the dress a few sizes smaller to encourage me to lose weight. I felt very manipulated but I managed it. The $500 fee gets me though!
She'd better pray that her marriage is as "perfect" as she hopes her wedding will be. She sounds like a self-centered twit with unreasonable expectations of what her wedding AND her married life will be like. Very sad.
All of you bridesmaids and "friends" that are pretty cheesed about this get together for a nice holiday in Hawaii when this totally selfish wedding is on and send her pictures of you having a good time on the day. I'm sure you can do it for less that 500 each even if you have to have a tent on the beach! Have a good holiday girls.
She is the one who deserves some of the horrible behavior I have seen at weddings by guests and those who were not exactly guests. One showed up in jeans, no shirt, no shoes, swigging from a whiskey bottle, (toasted the bride of course) and then took a huge handful of cake (precut) on his way out.
So, if she has a bridesmaid that is 5'1" and another that is 5'8" they are supposed to wear the same dress size? Life doesn't quite work that way. Wouldn't the wedding be better with all the participants actually enjoying the ceremony? Honey or vinegar. Which is sweeter? And easier to swallow.
How long do we all think this marriage will last?? I would love to hear a follow up a year later... 5 years later
If a person cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run fast, run far. Whether you're a future spouse or bridesmaid or groomsman or even a guest.
This is twisted and madness. Perfect weddings are not about money or appearances. If anyone here wants to see the most amazing wedding I've seen, watch Jonna Jinton's wedding video on Youtube. She is a professional photographer and artist, and the kindest and purest person. Here are links - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJMbAS3lmno and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB2cebY_7-U
I find that these over-the-top fancy-schmancy weddings are nothing more than a big girl's version of little girl dress up...or a big girl's version of a little girl's tea party for her dolls--with live people taking the place of the dolls. Complete with the tantrums if things don't go just so.
Totally get the "no kids" rule. Children ruin everything. Other than that: please party alone!
If you can't afford a grand wedding and a posh honeymoon don't. The audacity to demand for payment in the form of "'donations". Don't these people have any self-respect?
Okay, the bride is self-absorbed and unreasonable at every level, but I am definitely calling BS on the "usually 70" in Oklahoma in December. It gets cold there, too.
Somehow I doubt that you'e been planning your wedding since you were a baby.
That first thing about December is an out and out lie. I don't live there, but I have family there. They get worse winters than here in Texas.
I have mixed feelings about the whole "Bridezilla" label. Until I got married myself, I never dreamed that so many people would feel entitled to put so many demands on me regarding my own wedding. So on that level, I think you have to cut brides a little bit of slack because they're dealing with a lot of nonsense and are bound to lose their minds at some point. That said, I don't understand this trend where women dream of a fancy wedding, and then they ruin it by doing such tacky, low-class things. To my thinking, you want your first big social event as a couple to show that you're generous, considerate, fun-loving people who care about their friends and family. Begging your guests for money, banning their children, and demanding that they look a certain way creates a really bad impression and a lot of ill will. What bad karma to start a marriage that way!
honestly i think you can make demands just not about peoples sizes. the fake tan one is reasonable, for the extensions it depends, but the guidelines for the nails are very reasonable.
I'm sorry but if you think requiring YOUR friend who likes wearing her hair short to PAY for expensive hair extensions just because you don't like short hair... then you're a bad friend and a shitty person. I hate fake tans but if my best friend liked them and was constantly tanned, then that's her right and I either love and accept her as she is or I don't. A wedding is a celebration of love and commitment that you invite your dear and near ones to witness, not a Broadway production where you can tell people they have to look a certain way to be part of the day... that's some narcissistic bullshit. Anyone who tells you: if you want to come to my wedding/be in my wedding party you have to change this about yourself or "donate" this much... does not love you, is not a friend, and please don't waste your time, money and effort to go to that wedding.
Load More Replies... No need to be that rude! I don't think there is ever a reaosn to use that word. That being said, she is definitely a rude bridezilla.
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