153 Absolutely Bread-tastic Bread Puns
A loaf of bread is so much more than just a tummy stuffing - how such a divine thing could ever be simplified to that? Think of its glorious smell, amplified by fresh butter quickly melting on top of the delicious crumbliness of a piece. Add in a pinch of salt on top of it, and that is all you knead for the most perfect snack. Rye bread, wheat bread, ciabatta, or a baguette, a loaf of bread that just came out of the oven, is a true delicacy unsurpassed by anything else in life. In fact, everything that associates with this heavenly creation is only of the best quality, so one can surely say that out of every food pun category, the bread puns one is by far superior to anything else. Thus, we are gathered here today not only to nourish our physical bodies with ethereal sustenance but also to tend to our spiritual totality with the best and the funniest bread puns that you shall find in this list only.
You can rest assured that no type of bread will be missed among these silly puns, for naan is better than the other! No need for assumptions here that sourdough is worthier than your plain sandwich square, as they are all equally cherished in these adorable puns. It might be hard to believe, but we did our evaluations before releasing this puns list into the wide world, and the equilibrium between types of bread is kept here firmly! But now it is probably the time for you to check this statement out for yourself, and there’s only one way of doing it. That’s right; it is by scrolling down below where the bread puns are listed and reading them! After that part is done, be sure to vote for the funny food puns that made you crave a hoagy, and share this bread-tastic article with your friends.
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What’s the true identity of Greek Spider-Man?
Italian white bread is Santa's favorite because
As the song goes, "Ciabatta watch out, Ciabatta not cry, Ciabatta not pout.."
What kind of bread is served in Heaven?
Actually it's Naan of the above.
Why did Ghandi hate flatbread?
Because he practiced Naan-violence.
If you order pita bread twice… Does that make it repeata bread?
What do you call a bagel that can fly?
A plain bagel.
Who is a bagel’s favorite rapper?
Did you hear about the baker's lorry that spilled its load on the motorway?
Police say to expect delays on the yeast- bound carriageway.
News just in: a thief has been arrested for stealing sourdough - he was caught bread-handed.
What happened after the baker set a new record for baking the most loaves?
He became the breadwinner.
What do you call 52 slices of toast?
A deck of carbs.
Did you know that Spiderman has a winter jacket made entirely of Mediterranean flat bread?
It's a Pita Parka.
Gotta work your buns off because you knead the dough.
What series was the dinner roll binge-watching?
What’s better than a coffee break?
What is a baker's favorite time of year?
Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast.
Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a sandwich."
Doctor: "You'd better go straight to bread."
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Why did the hamburger bun and the hotdog roll break up?
There wasn’t enough crust in their relationship.
My doctor advised me against eating burnt toast. I am black toast intolerant.
A piece of toast is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
I went to the zoo and seen a baguette in a cage.
The zoo told me it was bread in captivity.
Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
Just got the perfect tool for making a good Indian flat bread
It's a Naan stick pan.
I’m headed to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office.
"Cause I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough. What the hell am I doughing here? I donut belong here."
What do you call a roll that loses weight?
The best is yet to crumb.
What did the ham say to the cheese after their night together?
You’re great in bread.
What are the best shoes to wear while eating bread?
Why can’t the baker play the drums?
He forgot the breadsticks.
Why did vampires leave the restaurant?
Someone ordered garlic bread.
Why is she so happy baking bread?
Because she is raking in the dough!
Why were the loaves of bread angry?
Because they are being made into a knuckle sandwich.
"I’d tell you the joke about some butter on a piece of bread - but you might spread it around."
Heard the one about the loaf of bread who was sad?
He had a break down and rye, then he felt much better.
What do you call a rabbit who has spent too long in the sun?
A hot cross bun-ny.
Last week I saw a loaf in a cage at my local zoo - it was bread in captivity.
Did you hear the one about the bakery that closed because everything went a-rye?
Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I can't stop eating bread."
Doctor: "You ba-guette some rest as soon as possible."
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend?
The relationship was crumbling.
What’s the only bin you’d throw something delicious into?
A bread bin.
Who is the meanest cowboy in the bakery?
Why doesn’t bread like warmer weather?
Because it gets too toast-y.
What type of hotel does a baker stay in when on vacation?
A B&B (Bread & Breakfast).
What do you call a Tom Cruise movie with a hamburger in it?
If a baker assaults somebody with a baguette. Can he be charged with assault with a breadly weapon?
"Excuse me, sir, you're all out of the garlic naan bread."
"I don't see the problem. It seems like a Naan-issue to me."
My friend cuts up his Indian bread to look like coins.
That's a bunch of Naan cents.
Why did the flatbread become a clean comedian?
He wanted to be Naan-offensive.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
Next time you need a loaf, challah at me.
Did you know that pilgrims baked bread on the May-Flour?
Business at the bakery is on the rise.
Don’t worry, you can crust me.
It’s a shame that bread puns are always so crumby.
Another one bites the crust.
Ryes and shine.
Don’t go baking my heart.
What did the crouton say to the bag of flour?
I wasn’t born yeast-erday!
Why is the gluten-free boy afraid of the dark?
He sees bread people.
A bread baker’s bread factory burned down. Now his business is toast.
I’m not trying to butter you up, but I really do loaf you.
What is the richest part of the bread?
Who are all the croutons crushing over?
What actor plays the main character in the movie Breadpool?
What do you do after breaking bread?
Just loaf around.
Why is the baker in a bad mood?
He woke up on the wrong side of the bread.
What is a baker’s biggest fear?
A loaf or death situation.
What do you call a curious piece of toast?
Why are the ends the least favorite slice of bread?
Because they’re too upper crust.
People need bread because loaf makes the world go round.
Why did margarine push butter?
Because she was on a roll.
What do you call a piece of dough that’s being a jerk?
I don't know why, but whenever I take a photo of my loaf of bread, it comes out grain-y.
Why did the roll go to the doctors?
It was feeling really crumby.
What kind of bread does Dr. Who not like eating?
Why do bakers always work at the weekends?
Because they knead the dough.
Cia-batta study harder if she wants to pass her bakery exams.
Two croissants are in the oven - one says, "It's hot in here!" - the other replies, "Wow, a talking croissant!"
Radical bakers are always going against the whole-grain.
What’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Why did the baker file a sexual harassment claim?
People kept commenting on his hot buns.
What did the public say when they invented the toaster?
That’s the best thing since sliced bread.
What did the bag of flour say when she bumped into the loaf of bread?
Didn’t I see you yeast-erday?
What does a loaf of bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
What did a slice of bread say after brushing his teeth?
I’m bready for bed.
Why did the rolls hang out on a street corner?
They were just loafing around.
I could never baguette your birthday.
A little birthday toast to you!
I like my bread like I like my men… well toasted!
What does a French dominatrix say as she whacks you with a baguette?
"Welcome... to the world of le pain!"
Hope their Naan is okay!
How I got this photo is Naan of your business.
What do you call a person who eats butter chicken only with Naan?
"I went to an Indian restaurant last night for some garlic bread. But they had Naan."
"I have a friend who only eats Indian bread...
I think its bizarre but he just says he's a naan conformist."
Did you hear about the women that choked to death on her meal at the Indian restaurant?...
Yeah it's not funny it was someone's Naan.
I don’t want naan of that.
You’re the apple of my rye.
That sour loaf kneads to be punished.
Gosh, my sourdough starter is so kneady.
I’m on a roll.
"I hear sourdough is on the rise."
Ciabatta stay away from me.
Stop loafing around!
Don’t be so sour, dough.
Baking is a labor of loaf.
The flour got in trouble, so his mama sent him to bread early.
All you knead is loaf.
A toast to butter days.
Rise to the occasion! Get a bread start!
When a loaf of bread grows mold, it’s time to break down and rye!
You bread my mind.
Loafing you is easy cause you butterful.
Have a loaf-ly day.
Why is the baguette so romantic?
Because it can’t stop loafing you.
I should stop loafing around.
English muffins aren’t born, they’re bread.
A baker gave me some sweetbread, it was pretty sourdough.
You’re the breadwinner!
How to get a raise at Panera Bread?
Butter up to the boss.
Why did everyone stare at the oven?
Because they saw the hot cross buns.
Why was the baker feeling anxious?
Because he was in a loaf or death situation!
What is the best way to get a rise in pay?
Ask for more dough!
What do you call sourdough that's been baked by Shakespeare?
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
What did the piece of toast say when he discovered his fate?
You butter be kidding me.
Why wouldn’t the muffin go on a carbo-hi-date with the gingerbread man?
She didn’t like bread-heads.
What doe's a woman say to a man who is proposing to her?
Be-loaf in yourself.
What do you call a dog made entirely of baguettes?
What do you call an Indian grandma?
Most Indian restaurants are Naan profit.
Wheat it and weep.
You’re my butter half.
Sourdough bread always to the occasion.
That sour loaf kneads to be punished.
The flour got in trouble, so his mama sent him to bread early.
Why does bread hate Southern summers?
The weather is too toasty.
You deserve butter.