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People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

exhaggerated_imagine Report

#2

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

benphillip Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

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As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

#4

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

meme_mayezster Report

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

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#5

Soak It In Olive Oil

Soak It In Olive Oil

2Apples3 Report

r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

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"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

#7

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

doenerzwerg Report

#8

Marked Slices Of Tree

Marked Slices Of Tree

KatieOldham Report

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I want cake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

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People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

#9

No No, He's Got A Point

No No, He's Got A Point

Adm1sty Report

#10

Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?

Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?

ShinigamiDady Report

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just when you think Florida couldn't get any more Florida, a 12 year old boy and a 14 year old girl got in a shootout with police after they broke into a house.

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Liz the Wanderer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Florida is the new Mississippi. They are still the poorest, but Florida is the idiot capital.

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Holes2Heaven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The reason you hear about so many crazy crimes in Florida is because we don't have laws that hide any crimes, unlike the rest of the states

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Susan Williams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is not enough money in the world to tempt me to live in FL. I did it for four years, once. Hurricanes, tornados, and extreme heat are not my idea of a great place to live.

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CantWeAllTry2GetAlong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In our defense, there are so many people that move to Florida, real Floridians find these news reports just as alarming...

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Mimi M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure. Let's just ignore the atrocities all over the world, cuz dumb Americans.

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And cue today's round of gratuitous USA bashing in 3 ..2 .. 1 ..

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Janus Sanders
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

sadly yes (it's sad because i currently live here whether i like it or not)

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Louloubelle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't feel bad. I live in Wisconsin where even Wisconsites call it the "Alabama of the North"

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Jeremy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you seen how crazy stuff is in some other countries???

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Christopher Walkies
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are those other countries constantly beating their chests about being the Greatest Country in The World?

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Big Iron Mike
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ouch. That really hurts those of us that live on the Pacific coast.

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Reinaldo Fuentes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll never forget John Oliver saying: "England! Europe's America..."

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MarsFKA
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As global warming warms up and the seas rise, what's going to happen to Florida then?

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Pasion Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as someome who lives in Florida....😩 yes...... we are the Derp of the world lmao

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Lynne Bear Hugs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And do they 'grow' their families too? Pretty sure babies aren't plants???? Seriously!!!!!

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CrispyPlop
Community Member
2 years ago

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Inkblot Butterfly
Community Member
2 years ago

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Nicky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Florida man ribs Wendy's with alligator." Google it.

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DetongLhamo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does Florida seem to be populated by loud, rather unintelligent, jingoistic people who know nothing about anything outside of Florida and care even less? If the answer is yes, then yes- it would appear so.

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Tonya Wallace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Further proof is that Florida is mostly populated from people from the rest of the country.

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Redfox
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, I think it is more like that Australia is the rest of the world's Queensland, to be honest. I mean, correct me if I am wrong Tim but, you know for years I always felt my opinion was more valid than yours.

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Daniela
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The same way the rest of the world see America as 'my giant'. Big and dumb.

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Leslie Burleson
Community Member
2 years ago

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Get your sh*t together countrymen ! Lol, but seriously ... we can do so much better than this

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago

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Yes, and we even have a Florida of our own to ratchet up the facepalms. *sigh*

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Alex Boomhower
Community Member
2 years ago

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probably. they probably talk behind our back. rightfully so.

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago

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Oh hell naw. Half of mid westerners spend winter In Florida for a reason, called snowbirds.

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago

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Yes you are. And France is the rest of the world's Connecticut.

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Thomas Es Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago

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Yes. All the world's come to America for a visit. Our military just announced UFOs are real.

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#11

Lesbians To The Rescue

Lesbians To The Rescue

cloddishThyme983 Report

#16

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

Blackpanther786110 Report

#17

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

reddit.com Report

#18

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

highway_40 Report

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A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

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#19

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

notsofancymum Report

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Gandalf the Pink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

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#20

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

Matelord99 Report

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

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#22

I Am Chorizo

I Am Chorizo

kevinowdziej Report

#23

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

yoyoha Report

#24

Floppy Discs

Floppy Discs

karenvideoeditor Report

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Auntriarch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

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#25

World Changer

World Changer

ronnui_ Report

#26

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

jackwick23 Report

#27

Crotch Fruit Employees

Crotch Fruit Employees

MaxQuill Report

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bryguy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

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#28

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

ShinigamiDady Report

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

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#29

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

lindsaybauer36 Report

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#31

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

praaany Report

#33

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

SwipingNoSwiper Report

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

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#34

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Lemightyman Report

#36

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

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#39

Wiggles Concert

Wiggles Concert

Daniel_Min Report

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elStiJneriNO
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

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#41

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

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#43

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

drnkchineseboi Report

#44

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

CrimsonComet777 Report

#45

Cool Sport Rush

Cool Sport Rush

RyckandMorti Report

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

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#46

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

markedly Report

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Friday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

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#47

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

genius23sarcasm Report

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

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#48

Life Pro Tip

Life Pro Tip

UnculturedYam Report

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#49

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

MartinniTheJawa Report

#50

Snarrot

Snarrot

s3csh3n8 Report

Note: this post originally had 137 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.

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