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People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

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#2

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

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As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

#4

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

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#5

Soak It In Olive Oil

Soak It In Olive Oil

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r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

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"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

#7

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

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#8

Marked Slices Of Tree

Marked Slices Of Tree

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I want cake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

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People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

#9

No No, He's Got A Point

No No, He's Got A Point

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#11

Lesbians To The Rescue

Lesbians To The Rescue

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#16

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

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#17

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

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#18

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

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A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

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#19

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

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Gandalf the Pink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

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#20

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

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#22

I Am Chorizo

I Am Chorizo

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witchling
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually choked on my own spit laughing at this one.

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It actually says "i am vegetarian chorizo" if you include the green line

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Pau Tea
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of "What if Soy Milk is just regular milk presenting itself in Spanish?"

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Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Presenting itself in bilingual, you mean. Pretty sure Spanish doesn't use "milk". In Italian it's "latte", so I guess Spanish must be similar.

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Pauly Donahue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It says vegetarian right under chorizo. I've actually had some pretty good ones.

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Blobbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

~ hellow there im a stupid vegetarian spicy pork sausage ensconced in animal intestines ~ So what is your name?

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Margaret Weaver
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How could you miss the warning sign, it's in big red letters! Cacique. Cac-like. That means s****y.

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Nothanks L. Walk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a marker, and live across from a supermarket. I think we all know what happens next: everything soy gets MENTIRAS!! scribbled on it. Unless it actually IS compost, of course.

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Randy Klefbeck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have had that.....and it is not the chorizo it claims to be. Que horrible.

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Tobias the Tiger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of Héctor in the movie "Coco", who earned the nickname Chorizo from apparently dying of choking on (or getting food poisoning from) a chorizo. Of course, he didn't want to introduce himself as "Chorizo", but...

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D. Pitbull
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BWAHAHAHHAHAH oh gawd. that is... oh, thank you Satan that's evil.

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Susan Williams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG...cannot begin to let my brain connect Soy with Chorizo. It would not make it past my lips and into my mouth.

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Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once read a road sign wrong and was mind boggled that we actually had a drugrental. Until I drove past it 2 days later. It said elevator rental. I felt a bad need to stop the car and cry with laughter in my ability to never doubt my genius thinking 😂😂

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Anton Kider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Soy sauce" (in Spanish) actually means "I'm a willow tree".

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Julia Bjerre
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh god, thank you for this. I haven't laughed so hard in many years.

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Kate Avery
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not necessarily. I mean, yeah, that would be the full sentence, but often the yo part is often omitted in conversation since it's not really necessary

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#23

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

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#24

Floppy Discs

Floppy Discs

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Auntriarch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

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#25

World Changer

World Changer

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#26

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

jackwick23 Report

#27

Crotch Fruit Employees

Crotch Fruit Employees

MaxQuill Report

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bryguy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

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#28

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

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#29

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

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#31

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

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#33

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

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#34

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Two Mini Hellpanthers

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#36

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

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#39

Wiggles Concert

Wiggles Concert

Daniel_Min Report

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elStiJneriNO
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

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#41

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

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#43

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

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#44

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

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#45

Cool Sport Rush

Cool Sport Rush

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

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#46

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

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Friday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

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#47

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

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#48

Life Pro Tip

Life Pro Tip

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#49

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

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#50

Snarrot

Snarrot

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Note: this post originally had 137 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.

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