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People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

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#2

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

benphillip Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

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As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

#4

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

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#5

Soak It In Olive Oil

Soak It In Olive Oil

2Apples3 Report

r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

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"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

#7

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

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#8

Marked Slices Of Tree

Marked Slices Of Tree

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I want cake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

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People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

#9

No No, He's Got A Point

No No, He's Got A Point

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#11

Lesbians To The Rescue

Lesbians To The Rescue

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#12

We Drove Out The Lubrication

We Drove Out The Lubrication

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Axolotl King
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This goes hand in hand with the molasses flood that happened sometime in the 1900's somewhere in the us. It killed like 15-20 people I think

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Marlowe Fitzpatrik
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never knew about that. Wow, interesting fact, thanks! An 8 m wave of sticky molasses ... a terrifying way to die.

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hahahaha. Also weirdly I had a butter crisis of 2011. There were four straight shopping trips where i was convinced we were out, so I bought more. I had butter until 2012 or 2013 I'm sure. lol

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brukernavn340
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Technically "smøren" isn't a word. "Smør" (butter) is a neuter gender noun, so the definite form should be "smøret". "Smøring" on the other hand means "lubrication" and can be either masculine (smøringen) or feminine (smøringa).

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Y T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope. It's not saying that. Sorry. Also, every f g Norwegian crossed the border to Sweden and stole our butter. May they burn in hell.

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Vera1
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got curious and decided to research why the great butter crisis happened. I recommend reading this website: https://www.lifeinnorway.net/norwegian-butter-crisis/ It gave me quite a good laugh!

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Timothy Leung
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Butter was used for an unintended purpose? Perhaps that's they ran out...

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Signe Manat Hansen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We were sending them butter from Denmark to troll them, it was so funny 😆 I completely forgot about that

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Sara Köhler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We went to celebrate New Years with our Norwegians friends at their place, naturally, as Swedes, we had to bring each memeber of the family butter for xmas gifts! They laughed a lot at it.

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Liz Pallatto
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And a probable reaon because it is weird for.an entire and a very rich country 😁

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EJN
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Be careful when you comment on foreigners in their own language!

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April Pickett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you know what confuses my brain? Any time there is a crisis (pandemic, gas shortage, etc), in this country people immediately panic and buy out everything related to the crisis. It's a stupid "me" reaction.

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Susan L. Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they are REALLY good, the dryer takes them to the Next World...

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Panda Kicki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SATW did a funny comic on this :D https://satwcomic.com/too-little-butter

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#16

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

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#17

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

reddit.com Report

#18

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

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A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

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#19

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

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Gandalf the Pink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

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#20

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

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#22

I Am Chorizo

I Am Chorizo

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#23

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

yoyoha Report

#24

Floppy Discs

Floppy Discs

karenvideoeditor Report

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Auntriarch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

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#25

World Changer

World Changer

ronnui_ Report

#26

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

jackwick23 Report

#27

Crotch Fruit Employees

Crotch Fruit Employees

MaxQuill Report

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bryguy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

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#28

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

ShinigamiDady Report

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

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#29

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

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#31

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

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#33

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

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#34

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Two Mini Hellpanthers

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#36

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

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#39

Wiggles Concert

Wiggles Concert

Daniel_Min Report

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elStiJneriNO
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

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#41

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

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#43

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

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#44

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

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#45

Cool Sport Rush

Cool Sport Rush

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

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#46

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

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Friday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

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#47

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

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#48

Life Pro Tip

Life Pro Tip

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#49

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

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#50

Snarrot

Snarrot

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Note: this post originally had 137 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.

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