50 Times People Dropped A Sentence That Probably No One Has Ever Thought Of Before, As Shared In This Group
People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.
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Name That Death Megatron 300
We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge
My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.
As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.
In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.
Griefcase
I Do Not Vibe With This Soil
I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.
Soak It In Olive Oil
r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.
"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay
He’s My Biological Dog
Brad And His Cloud Of Lies
Marked Slices Of Tree
I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.
People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.
The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.
No No, He's Got A Point
Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?
Lesbians To The Rescue
We Drove Out The Lubrication
How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?
Happens To The Best Of Us
Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars
“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”
Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe
A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip
Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You
The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.
The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now
I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.
“Festering...”
I Am Chorizo
Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World
Floppy Discs
Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really
There is a song by Metronome, titled Self Control, that uses the old printers' sound effect. It's really nice. I'm not even kidding. And then there are actual geeks making remakes of famous songs with the actual hardware. Geniuses!
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Or when it was trying to read a damaged DVD...just scrrreeeeecchhh knock knock....scrreeeccchhh...and then it'd spit it back out. Lol
Have we all forgotten Hayes Modems during the Dial-Up Handshake? It was like a bus-load of 9-year olds, on fire, going over a cliff into a deep quarry lake - the sudden silence was a horrifying relief.
Last week I resurrected a 16-year-old computer to play a 16-bit game (I guess those aren't supported by 64-bit Windows even with compatibility mode) and yeah, my husband said I shouldn't leave it on for very long in a stretch because it sounds like it's gonna just start on fire or maybe fly away like a helicopter. :P
PS. Yes, I tried DOSBox, emulators, and VMs. In the end the easiest thing was just to boot up the oldest machine I had kicking around the house and pop the CD in.
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Yeah, and those primitive beasts where also HUGE. My Atari occupied the most part of my deck, was noisy as hell - and it didn't even have a hard disk drive.
Not comparable to an electric breast milk pump. The big 1800€ one you take on loan from the pharmacies in Germany is loud and annoying. But the small portable 150€ one (which you theoretically can use at home while your child is sleeping) moans like a rowdy bull, needs to be adjusted every 5 seconds or it looses the vacuum and after 10 minutes starts to whistle like a football/soccer judge.
Oh, I always loved that sound! (No, seriously, I did, I found it new and exciting)
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I will always remember my old printer, It was like the Energizer rabbit, it could go on and on and on, print after print, and never change the cartridge. It was an Epson dot matrix printer.
When my 8088 booted up, it sounded like the drum intro to AC/DC's "Back in Black"!
How would they know that pterodactyls ate corn? I always thought that some hard drives needed an exorcism with the noises they made..
I miss computer sounds. I actually have the Super Mario theme tune played on floppy disk drives as one of my mates' custom ringtone. And dialup.... there was excitement in singing along with that tone sequence in your head, knowing you were about to enter... the INTERNET. I miss that.
I miss the dial-up sound. My son called it the handshake between my computer and the internet.
A pterodactyl eating a corncob. I have found what I sound like.
Omg , why is that description so accurate ? Lmfao , or when your dial up was trying to get started and it was like a muffled chainsaw sound . You could actually feel it
Connecting to the internet, dial-up age; 90's, It used to sing to you whilst connecting. Or when you had to load your game from a cassette tape, audio visual migraine ;o)
remember if you wanted to print something on a matrix printer and it was like: "Let me imitate a herd of robot seagulls"
Dial up, anyone? "Kee gong! Kee gong! Bleaaaaaahhhhh!" then a noise like a thousand chickens frying in oil.
*Tries to do ANYTHING on computer* *SCREECHES FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE* "Sorry guys! Just trying to go online! Hahah... PLEASE no Poltergeists tho."
World Changer
“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”
Crotch Fruit Employees
Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?
“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”
Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!
Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?
Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind
Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated
Two Mini Hellpanthers
The Eyebrow Spectrum
Smoked Myself Back To Segregation
Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.
Julius In The Coolius
You Are One Of My Sims
Wiggles Concert
why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway
Whatever Works
Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week
Anon Knows The English Language
Cyberbullied And Entire Studio
LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal
Cool Sport Rush
Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something
One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert
Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have
I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"
Life Pro Tip
PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value
Snarrot
Note: this post originally had 137 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
"So Thor is the bastard lovechild of Professor McGonagall and France?" Yes, I actually said that once. No, I will not tell you the context.
This literally made my night I was laughing way too hard at some lol
Why do they call people who report on the weather meteorologists when they are reporting on the climate, shouldn’t they be climatologist? And Meteorologists should study and report on meteors? No, really.
Podologists don't study poodles, but orthodontists ARE awful dentists, so perhaps this phoneticism has potential.
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Back in the late 90's and early aughts everyone was buying desktops computers, but to get on the internet it had to go through your phone line and it was long and unreliable. Many people just used their computer to play solitaire. It was a $2,000 dollar deck of cards. People also used to wear wrist watches, they were modern and a quick reliable way to tell time. Now if you ask someone for the time, they reach in their pocket and pull out their cell phone. So we are now to the time before wrist watches and back to pocket watches.
My wife kept sticking her head around the door, saying, "What are you laughing at now?"
I just learned something: if you suck in an empty yogurt tube in the correct way with a gap between your two front teeth it makes cool sounds that kinda sound like if rewinding a tv show had sounds that went the same speed as the rewind.
Where are the rest of the images? Just separate them into multiple posts if need be.
@ 115: Pee & poop toilets sounds good, but hey sometimes you go to pee and when you sit down your bunghole says, "Well while you're here..."
"So Thor is the bastard lovechild of Professor McGonagall and France?" Yes, I actually said that once. No, I will not tell you the context.
This literally made my night I was laughing way too hard at some lol
Why do they call people who report on the weather meteorologists when they are reporting on the climate, shouldn’t they be climatologist? And Meteorologists should study and report on meteors? No, really.
Podologists don't study poodles, but orthodontists ARE awful dentists, so perhaps this phoneticism has potential.
Load More Replies... Back in the late 90's and early aughts everyone was buying desktops computers, but to get on the internet it had to go through your phone line and it was long and unreliable. Many people just used their computer to play solitaire. It was a $2,000 dollar deck of cards. People also used to wear wrist watches, they were modern and a quick reliable way to tell time. Now if you ask someone for the time, they reach in their pocket and pull out their cell phone. So we are now to the time before wrist watches and back to pocket watches.
My wife kept sticking her head around the door, saying, "What are you laughing at now?"
I just learned something: if you suck in an empty yogurt tube in the correct way with a gap between your two front teeth it makes cool sounds that kinda sound like if rewinding a tv show had sounds that went the same speed as the rewind.
Where are the rest of the images? Just separate them into multiple posts if need be.
@ 115: Pee & poop toilets sounds good, but hey sometimes you go to pee and when you sit down your bunghole says, "Well while you're here..."
