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Woman Asks If She’s The Jerk For Not Wearing A Bra In Her Apartment While The Repair Guy Was Over
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Woman Asks If She’s The Jerk For Not Wearing A Bra In Her Apartment While The Repair Guy Was Over

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Being a mom is a full-time job and probably one of the most demanding ones at that. So, you’d expect a new mother to be cut some slack, especially considering she’s nursing on top of all her other parenting duties.

For one woman, though, her husband got mad at her for going braless while the repair guy came to their house. She called her hubby insane for expecting her to strap on a bra just because a stranger was around, but still took to Reddit to ask if she was being a jerk in the situation.

More info: Reddit

Nursing moms have enough on their hands, but this woman’s husband demanded even more

Image credits: Chuot Anhls / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Her hubby got mad at her for not wearing a bra when the repair guy came to their house

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Image credits: Castorly Stock / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The woman called her husband insane for his reaction, especially since she was wearing a t-shirt that revealed nothing

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Image credits: u/No_Detail_9419

Stunned by her husband’s behavior, she took to the web to ask if she was being a jerk

OP begins her story by telling the community that her husband is angry at her for not wearing a bra while the repair guy was briefly at their house. She adds that she was wearing a t-shirt that didn’t reveal a thing, but that her husband said the repair guy could still see her nipples and her breasts moving around inside the garment.

She admits that she’s a large-chested woman and that hiding her breasts is impossible but said that it was insane for her husband to have a problem with it just because there was a stranger around. 

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OP added that she’s still nursing the couple’s youngest child and that going braless makes breastfeeding more convenient for her. She concluded her post by asking Reddit if she was being a jerk in the situation.

From what we can gather from OP’s post, it sounds like her husband is trying to assert his dominance over her or claim some kind of ownership of her body in their relationship. This isn’t all that surprising considering men have been telling women what they can and can’t do with their bodies literally forever.

Image credits: tonodiaz / Freepik (not the actual photo)

But did you know that, until about 100 years ago, it was illegal for men to go topless, too? Of course, men rebelled and scoffed at the $1 fine they’d have to pay for showing their nipples and getting some sun on their chests and the laws soon changed.

In her article for Men’s Health, Alison Bonaguro writes that, today, it’s legal for women to take off their shirts in 36 states. And only three states—Utah, Tennessee, and Indiana— have laws explicitly forbidding female nipple exposure. 

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Bonaguro adds, however, that women would still be flouting the law by going shirtless in any of these states, because an exposed female nipple is still considered lewd pretty much everywhere. The same goes for social media, where men can go to town with shirtless selfies, while women risk being banned from the platforms for doing the same.

The issue is that male nipples have just never been as socially sexualized as female nipples. Says Toronto-based intimacy expert Dr. Stephen de Wit, “Men have been conditioned to see the female breast and nipple as inherently intimate.”

It seems women’s nipples are something to be coveted, desired, and unfortunately hidden until physical intimacy is imminent.  

Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

And so, in 2012, with gender inequality and discrimination as rampant as ever, the scene was set for a new kind of liberation movement. Director Lina Esco filmed the movie Free The Nipple, which followed a fictional group of young women exposing the double-standard and protesting for equality. 

Set in New York City, the film staged real-life protests during production — pink balaclava-clad women running through Times Square topless, dodging police and wheat-pasting “Free the nipple” posters all over walls. There were real arrests, there was media coverage, and the #FreeTheNipple movement was born.

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While the film encountered numerous obstacles from production to distribution, the phrase (which would be printed across theater marquees) became a viral hashtag and has since been used by influential personalities like Miley Cyrus and Kendall Jenner to protest social media censorship of the female-presenting body. In fact, an article for Harper’s Bazaar features 29 celebrities who have embraced the movement.   

In his article for Euro News, David Mouriquand writes that Free The Nipple anchors itself in the topfreedom movement, a political and cultural campaign which seeks changes in laws to allow women to be topless in public – from allowing mothers to openly breastfeed in public to getting rid of arrests and restrictions when a woman shows her breasts in public.

In early 2023, the oversight board at Meta (which owns Instagram) recommended that the company revise its rules regarding nipples, stating that its policy “is based on a binary view of gender and a distinction between male and female bodies.” Unfortunately, not much has changed since then when it comes to gender equality on the platform.

What do you think of OP’s situation? Was her husband out of line for getting mad at her? Do you think the nipple should finally be freed? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

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Redditors weighed in in the comments saying the husband was the jerk and there’s nothing wrong with nipples, especially when, unlike with men, they serve an actual purpose

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Of course, some people disagreed with the nursing mother, saying she was being disrespectful to her hubby and the repair guy

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Ivan Ayliffe

Ivan Ayliffe

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

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Ivan Ayliffe

Ivan Ayliffe

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Do you think it is reasonable for the husband to expect his wife to wear a bra when a repairman visits?
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hannaekb avatar
Spannidandoolar
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you are breastfeeding not having to wear a bra is far more comfortable for your nipples and breasts. Also if he's got issues with public breastfeeding then he will always be 100% TA.

jill_rhodry avatar
Jill Rhodry
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally agree - my kids were breastfed in nearly any location you care to mention - 30 years ago - and I never received filthy looks or bad comments. -

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jill_rhodry avatar
Jill Rhodry
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hang on Pandas - why aren't we discussing 'HOW DID HE KNOW' that she didn't have on a bra. He wasn't home. Did he ask her - "how'd it go with couch dude today and btw did you wear a bra?"

bksf avatar
UKGrandad
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was wondering how he knew, too. I can only assume that he noticed she was bra-less when he came home and asked if she'd been put one on for the repairman's visit.

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biache34 avatar
Ellinor
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Breasts and nipples are normal and very much NOT sexual. Anyway, if I had to count every time I have seen a man's nipples through his shirt I would be still counting. (and oh my gods the bra hurt so much when you're big chested !)

apatheistaccount2 avatar
Apatheist Account2
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By the same argument, buttocks are simply muscles that enable you to walk. It's naïve to think that men do not see breasts and nipples as sexual - that's why the fabric is where it is on a bikini. It also ignores the fact that nipples change in response to sexual arousal. Most sensible, mature men, however, will not consider a breastfeeding woman as anything other than a natural process.

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hannaekb avatar
Spannidandoolar
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you are breastfeeding not having to wear a bra is far more comfortable for your nipples and breasts. Also if he's got issues with public breastfeeding then he will always be 100% TA.

jill_rhodry avatar
Jill Rhodry
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally agree - my kids were breastfed in nearly any location you care to mention - 30 years ago - and I never received filthy looks or bad comments. -

Load More Replies...
jill_rhodry avatar
Jill Rhodry
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hang on Pandas - why aren't we discussing 'HOW DID HE KNOW' that she didn't have on a bra. He wasn't home. Did he ask her - "how'd it go with couch dude today and btw did you wear a bra?"

bksf avatar
UKGrandad
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was wondering how he knew, too. I can only assume that he noticed she was bra-less when he came home and asked if she'd been put one on for the repairman's visit.

Load More Replies...
biache34 avatar
Ellinor
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Breasts and nipples are normal and very much NOT sexual. Anyway, if I had to count every time I have seen a man's nipples through his shirt I would be still counting. (and oh my gods the bra hurt so much when you're big chested !)

apatheistaccount2 avatar
Apatheist Account2
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By the same argument, buttocks are simply muscles that enable you to walk. It's naïve to think that men do not see breasts and nipples as sexual - that's why the fabric is where it is on a bikini. It also ignores the fact that nipples change in response to sexual arousal. Most sensible, mature men, however, will not consider a breastfeeding woman as anything other than a natural process.

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