Boyfriend Flips Out After Girlfriend Makes Him Dinner From “Scraps”, She Asks If She’s The Jerk Here
As they say, the best way to win over someone’s heart is through their stomach. There’s nothing like hearing the comforting sounds of a homemade feast and filling the belly with delicious meals that express your love and commitment to each other. So it’s not just about food; it’s about bringing a sense of closeness within the relationship. Unfortunately, if your partner shows a lack of respect for your efforts, things can quickly go downhill.
Redditor Glittering-Ad793 knows this from personal experience. This 27-year-old woman reached out to the “Am I The A-Hole” community to ask for guidance after a relationship dispute with her 41-year-old boyfriend. A few weeks ago, he asked what she was making for dinner and started blatantly expressing his frustration after hearing the answer.
You see, the user wanted to prepare something from leftovers in the fridge, but apparently, it was not good enough for the man. Instead of acting like a mature adult, he called her a “horrible girlfriend” and accused her of leaving him to “starve”. Feeling unsure, the woman started second-guessing herself and her actions, so she turned to the internet for perspective. Read on for the whole story and weigh in on the situation in the comments!
Recently, a woman got into an argument with her boyfriend for cooking a meal with leftovers
Image credits: Gelmis Bartulis (not the actual photo)
After being called a “horrible girlfriend,” she turned to people on the internet to evaluate the situation
Image credits: Charles Koh (not the actual photo)
We don’t have to agree with our partners on everything, but we do need to respect them. Appreciation is one way to offer our loved ones the value they need, so when gratitude is lacking, problems in the relationship start to build up. However, sometimes our affection for the person can make us overlook or even ignore these negative behaviors. “If we’ve been conditioned not to recognize disrespectful behavior as wrong by our upbringing or abusive relationships, we may not even register it happening”, relationship coach Marta, founder of MyCoachMarta, told Bored Panda.
“With enough repetition of contempt, name-calling, intimidation, or any other form of abuse we become desensitized to it. Our internal system starts recognizing it as familiar and therefore perceives it as normal and safe (even if something is downright dangerous). The red flags don’t look red when they feel like home,” she added.
When it comes to Glittering-Ad793’s situation, her boyfriend’s actions can say a lot about how he sees their partnership. “Even if we grant him the benefit of the doubt and assume that her tone of voice was snarky or condescending when she suggested leftovers for dinner, or that the situation triggered something traumatic from his past, his reaction was still that of an emotionally immature and relationally abusive person,” Marta explained.
According to her, people in healthy relationships would have reacted differently. A loving partner’s reaction would sound something like: “I know, we have that in the fridge, but leftovers make me feel a little icky. I appreciate the offer, but I’ll just go to the store and get some fresh stuff real quick. What do you like me to get for you?” Marta noted that the manner he spoke to her “doesn’t make it look as if he has a lot of affection for her or thinks of her as an equal partner.”
When our partners act extremely irrational, it’s critical to communicate our boundaries and ask for a behavior change, the relationship coach argued. When we want to set healthy boundaries and talk about them with our loved ones, we have to be clear about what would be the outcome when our partner fails to respect them.
“Shall the person then violate the expressed boundaries, we have to follow through with consequences. For example: ‘When you speak or act in this manner toward me, I feel hurt and disrespected. I understand that this may not be your intention, and I ask you to please be mindful of your words and tone. If it happens again, I’m going to leave the conversation. This is something I’m doing because I care about our relationship, and I hope you appreciate how important it is to me,'” she suggested.
However, if the offending behavior happens again, we must enforce the consequences by doing what we stated when setting the boundary in the first place. “I can’t stress enough how important boundaries are for healthy relationships, all of them, not just the romantic ones,” Marta added.
Redditors overwhelmingly sided with the user, here’s what they had to say
Many commenters mentioned that the boyfriend’s actions were immature, even though he is a grown 41-year-old man. Some even wondered whether the age gap between them could be the reason for the way he treated her. “The 14-year age gap may or may not be significant, depending on the reasons and intentions behind it,” Marta told us. “Many couples with big age gaps have healthy, loving relationships. However, at times we choose partners who are substantially younger or older than us because of past trauma, unmet needs, low self-worth, or a desire to be able to exert greater control over a partner.”
“My fear in this situation is that he is finding it easier to manage a younger partner, and get away with this kind of behavior. If she also chose him because of her wounding, we’re looking at an unbalanced and turbulent relationship dynamic.”
Marta revealed that this story is concerning. She hopes that the woman has someone to turn to, someone who can help bring her attention to the unhealthy patterns she appears to be in. “I noticed that she mentioned feeling guilty for ‘not listening to him’ when he told her to let him eat crackers, and that she maybe could have gone to the shop instead, which indicates to me that guilt might be a recurring theme for her in that relationship,” she concluded.
Jesus. He's very clearly already conditioned her to accept his abuse. Note: she felt bad for expecting leftovers to be eaten. I hope she runs as fast as she can!!
Exactly..she felt bad that she was going to not waste food and make use of it next day?! He's a pos
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Way past the red flag stage even. Red flags are supposed to warn you the guy could be a potential abuser. This is just blatant abuse.
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As someone with a boyfriend 20 years my senior, ditch that a*****e. If he can't accept and appreciate what you did so he could eat then he will not treat you well. My guy can be a grumpy old man sometimes but never would he even consider disrespecting me like that. That's just s**t behavior that'll get worse and you will end up being mentally or emotionally abused at the minimum. I can't even fathom someone speaking to me like that over somethingas trivial as a meal; there is zero respect there. It's a massive red flag and things will only get worse.
Why do people even get involved with as*h*ts like him? I cook with leftover ingredients all the time. If they are still good why would you toss them out? While growing up broke, sometimes the only stuff you have are the leftover stuff. This man is spoiled rotten.
Wait….you think asshats present as asshats off gate and people are like “omg just what I wanted!”??????
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This man doesn't want a girlfriend. He wants a slave and an emotional punching bag. And this will only escalate. I hope she gets out NOW.
Exactly ...why does he expect fresh ingredients everytime? As is usual with abusers they never make sense.
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Bruh I would eat left overs everyday. The fact that she felt so bad that she made up a whole new meal to feed him and made good use of the leftovers so they wouldn’t be thrown away….she’s a absolute gem. He’s a selfish brat. Honestly OPs way to good for him
Tell him to cook his own f*****g food since his a*s wants to be picky! Don't put up with that s**t. Run away girl, RUN!
Holy cow!! So many shades of red flag being thrown here!!! You are not his slave, what you made sounds delightful. Heck anytime someone cooks for you, its to be taken as an act of love. Doesn't matter if its reheated leftovers, re-imagined left overs or a whole culinary feast... they took time and effort to make you something to nourish yourself. He can eff right the eff off!
Girl, you lucked out to see this overgrown pap-sucker for what he is. Run! Here cries an insecure, overgrown brat. You don't need this.
There is something wrong with this so-called "man." Number one, no one I know goes to the store every day to shop. Number two, if he doesn't appreciate you now, he never will. Number three, he won't change. Number 4. You can do so much better. Number 5. Your dinner sounds delicious! 😊❤️🤗
Run. Just run. This person has no idea how life works. You are not going to fix him - only Life's School of Reality will.
At 41 if he hasn't figured this out by now, he never will.
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NTAa, but I agree with everyone else. Just dump him and never look back.
Aaaaand now we GTFO and dump his a*s for someone who will appreciate GETTING A MEAL THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO COOK NO MATTER WHAT IS IN IT.
I mean, I’d rather cook my own food than have something I don’t like cooked for me. But that’s why I, you know, cook my own food.
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NTA!! What you have made showed your creativity with the food that was in the freaking fridge!! And, possibly better than what's offered at Taco Bell or Chipotle!! But, no, the 41-year old man decided to act like a child and refuse to even taste the food!! So, next time he wants to ACT like child, he should be TREATED like one!! Meaning, if he decides to pull the "I rather have crackers" bit instead of a decent meal, CALL HIS BLUFF!!! Make the meal, and instead of serving him that, give him the crackers instead on a plate!! If he asks, "What's this?", tell him, "I've decided to take you up on your offer and give you crackers for dinner. Isn't that what you wanted, honey?" If he says, "I was kidding", say, "That's funny, didn't sound like it to me, now eat." If he starts to complain, remind him that he didn't even bother to taste your cooking when offered. Then, while he sits eating the crackers, you sit with a plate of the food you prepared and eat it in front of him.
I'm astonished this would even be considered an issue in the first place. Where do these people live? "He asked me what I was making for dinner"? "Lazy because I didnt want to go grocery shopping"? I'm not even entering into the scraps/no scraps (of course you eat scraps), but a 41 yo man can cook for himself if he thinks he knows better. If someone is doing you the favour of cooking for you, you say thanks and you eat. Period.
Disagree with the last sentence, but if you have strong preferences, the solution is to cook your own food.
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Is this the 1950's? He wants her to go buy new food ingredients EVERY DAY, and then complains about eating a burger that isn't even bad. This is a gigantic red flag. Also, people like this still exist???
U know its OK to want a housewife...and its ok for a woman to want to stay at home minding the home and feeding her family..but its another for a grown a*s man to act like he will starve if he doesn't get fresh ingredients...wtf lol..u wud imagine if he is that hungry and 4q he would be able to make his own food...every adult should be able to cook..its a self sufficient thing
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Some of my husbands favorite meals are when I make say, rice and chicken. Then the next day I do a stirfry of some kind with the leftovers. I have always cooked like this - but imagine being fed a homecooked meal at all, and complaining. Definitely would not stick with this guy!
Over here we even have names for meals made with leftovers, bubble and squeak being the most well known. This guy deserves to die alone.
Load More Replies... This guy is my age, he sounds like a t****r, my wife would dump the food on my head if I carried on like this, and my mother would slap me as well. Who the f**k raised this clown?
A lot of the stories apparently are made up. Some people have even bragged about how many stories they make up on that sub.
Load More Replies... And PS: I have a boyfriend 16 years my senior and HE DOES THE COOKING in our home
It's not the age difference, my parents had a huge age gap and my dad would eat anything my mum cooked, but he liked salad/dressing made in a very particular way so he always made it himself!
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My 16yo does this to me. Loves what I make, but thinks leftovers or extra ingredients cooked the next day is offensive. So she just eats snacks when I make any ingredient twice or reheat leftovers, including her beloved spaghetti, goulash, chicken pot pie, burgers, etc.. I'm so sick of this disrespectful behavior and can't wait for her to move out. Her father was the exact same way. I've lived with abuse my entire life and as a result, I've had zero desire to have a man around for the last decade, and now can't wait to be completely alone. It doesn't matter who they are. If they're abusive, they need to leave. I can live them from a distance, but up close, that ain't happening. I don't deserve to be abused by anyone.
I can't believe so many people are like this; your daughter is around my age. You don't deserve to be treated like that, especially since you're willing to cook for her and put efforts into making meals. There's absolutely nothing wrong with leftovers. She needs to cook c**p for herself if she is gonna act like that. I'm sorry you have to put up with this.
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What. The. F**k. I can't even believe she's questioning if she's the a*****e in this scenario. What a pathetic man-baby this guy is. We eat leftovers all the time in my house because I grew up poor and hate wasting food. Eat the food, put HIM in the bin!!!
I often feel like AITA posts are just ways to put someone on blast and have the internet make people feel good about themselves. This is not that. If this is a real post then that woman needs to dump him immediately and spend some time being single and in therapy. No one should be putting up this kind of behavior and wondering if they were somehow in the wrong. This screams abuse to me (either now or in the past). OP needs to KNOW deep down that she is worth more than this kind of treatment.
Oh definitely get rid of that guy. He's spoiled, lazy, and rude. My advice on dating older men, chose one that's actually emotionally mature, knows how to cook, clean for himself etc. There are far too many 40+ man babies around. To be this age and not have acquired these skills means he's TRYING to avoid them.
Don't even need to read the article. NTA. Perhaps he should go back to sucking Mom's tit
Seeing as he is old enough to be her father, he is old enough to cook his own damn meals if he isn't happy with what she cooked!
Apart from the guy being an arsehole: what else should they have done with the food? Throw it out??
Exactly wat I thought...does he think he is royalty or something?
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I agree with all the other posters. RUN!! And run as fast as you can, unless you want to live a life of being a slave to a man/child who has regular temper tantrums because you cooked him a beautiful meal. This guy is in his 40s and single for a reason. Please don't be a victim.
Run, do not walk, away from this entitled man child unless you are up for a life of unappreciated servitude.
Since when are uncooked ingredients "scraps" or "leftovers"? Even my leftovers-averse friend agreed it doesn't count if it isn't cooked yet. What a man-child. Of course there are always exceptions, but from my experience, a man who pursues a woman much younger tends to have maturity issues himself. This man needs to take his additude, his control issues, and his beloved crackers and move along.
He sounds like a 41 years old narcissistic toddler missing his mommy. I have veggies in the fridge right now that are a week old and still perfectly fine. Even if they started to wilt or go soft I would use them to make a soup or stew that would then last me for 2 or 3 days. No, I'm not poor either. What fool goes to the market every single day for just that day's meals? Heck, our nearest market is 5 miles away so a daily trip would be a ridiculous and expensive waste of gasoline. That's 70 miles and likely $20 in gas every week. 3,640 miles and over $1,000 in gas expenses over a year. I'm gonna nope the heck out of that idea. She needs to "scrap" the BF. Maybe drop him off at a farm because that's the ONLY way he is getting same-day "non-scrap" food that hasn't sat on a market shelf for several days.
What is it with all these supposed grown-ups that are unable to cook? Cooking is not a gendered skill, it is a life skill.
Yes it absolutely is. Especially when times are hard or money is running short at the end of the month, you have the skills to make a decent meal out of cheap, simple ingredients.
Load More Replies... First, sit down and enjoy your delicious meal. Let the man child eat his crackers or whatever. Next, reevaluate your relationship, pack your bags, and leave him.
I can't cook decently so will eat almost anything or at least try it if someone goes to the time to cook it and thats before id be eternalgrateful that somebody so young looked at me 🤔
That food sounded good to me. NTA. A guy in his 40s acting like this? Sounds like he never grew up. You need to get out of that situation.
Get yourself a fresh boyfriend and send the old one a picture of your next " meal ".
Yes, you should have played this differently. You should have made the meal just as you did. When Mr. Scraps rejected it, dished out just enough for you, and eaten it while Mr. Scraps ate his crackers. Put the leftovers away, went about your business, and listened for him to get up on the middle of the night to devour them. The meal you prepared sounds tasty and was very thoughtful on your part. If Mr. Scraps is always like this, perhaps you should rethink your situation. 🤔
she should have baked this into an unrecognizable casserole with noodles and cheese... she would have gotten away with it... come to think of it, why didn't she just tell him to order in chinese or pizza for both if her leftovers were so unsatisfactory...
Jeezes, can't image how this guy thinks grocery shopping is done. We go shopping for an entire week, scraps are used as improvisation. Don't waste good food. I was really baffled when the "scraps" were not even leftovers but freshly cooked and boughed yesterday. DITCH
Don't waste food, whether you're rich or poor, it's wasteful, the world is overpopulated, food is becoming more scarce so we're deforesting more and more for arable land. It's just common sense.
GET. OUT. WHILE. YOU. CAN. Don't wait til he punches you emotionally and physically.
Let's see, 14 year age difference? Check. Weird codependence probably stemming from daddy issues? Check. Toxic manipulation and guilt tripping? Double check! It's like a cornucopia of ingredients for a toxic relationship. The only thing that's "scrap" in this post is this a-hole.
A man who won't eat leftovers?? Any guy will tell you "Bachelor Surprise" meals is a staple for men...as a guy, I say dump him....
He's an abusive POS who's gaslightning you. RUN and never look back!
The only case this would be just about acceptable is if the man was under 5 years old. Run and let him starve!
Run run run!!! He is a total dirt bag and probably a narcissist. While he's at work, Pack up his s**t and put it on the front porch!! Text him "we're over" and then block his number. I've been there girl, trust me, get out before it's even harder! You can do MUCH better than this douchebag, that I promise you. This is what abuse looks like, at least in the beginning/middle stages. If you value yourself at all, do everything you can to get out of this relationship now!! And do not talk to him because he will try to drag you back in. I don't have much hope though, he is extremely manipulative and she hasn't learned the hard lesson of how to hold your boundaries and value your own needs (you know, that thing our parents didn't teach us). I learned that one in my 20s too. Really hope she makes it out.
I was just thinking the other day, that AITA on reddit just went so fake. Usually it's very obvious who is AH, I just don't believe this girl would think she "did something wrong", ffs she cooked a meal and he was sh*tty, ungrateful and entitled. There's just a part missing about "and my friends and family say I'm overreacting", because that seems to be what people who should have your back do now on AITA...
I agree .. other people don't obviously and we'll get downvoted (not that I care) for that opinion. I'm not saying there's no abusive men and I'm not saying there's no women who would keep up with that but a ton of people on Reddit are just attention seekers
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This is a typical example of an older man who wants a younger woman he can control and use as a house pet. That's why you should be VERY careful while dating older men as a woman. They aren't primary after your body - they want the control and status that comes with it. They know a woman their age wouldn't take it. Sure, some can change but most of them are pretty set in their ways and like it that way. I've dated older men in the past and I'm married to an older man (16 yrs) and he used to be sort of like that in some ways. It took a LOT of work for him to drop it (otherwise I would leave) and we still struggle with that sometimes. Put your foot down and if it doesn't get better - LEAVE. You did nothing wrong and he behaves horrible. It isn't on you to be his maid and play bunny. Blah.
Leftovers is a term for previously cooked foods from a prior meal not uncooked food bought on a prior day. What did he expect to happen with the food in the refrigerator?
I want to find this girl on Reddit and tell her to get a f*****g spine. My God she just set women back 50 years by even posting this question. Ladies, it's not your job to cook for these guys. They have hands and some of them even have a brain.
What she cooked wasn’t ‘leftovers’. Leftovers would be if she’d cooked that same meal yesterday and then rewarmed it today. How can a raw pepper, rice etc. be leftovers?
This does not ring true. A 41 year-old guy? Nooooo. Where in the world does anyone get a meal with things that were just purchased THAT DAY. And how long was it hanging out in the stores that it was purchased from??. If this is true, he's total a**hole, and he's just pushing her buttons and being a jerk for 'fun'.
Even if I ended up hating the taste of something my girlfriend made I'd still be grateful that she took the time to make it, also there's nothing wrong with a meal made from leftover ingredients it's much better than wasting them by throwing them away(a meal cooked with leftovers is in no way "scraps" because the scraps are the parts you can't cook).
Girl, you need to leave that relationship! It will only get worse if you stay!
Girl, you deserve WAY better. He's given you a red flag the size of a blanket--don't miss it.
I agree that he's an a*****e, and she should get out of the relationship. However as someone who regularly cooks and enjoys it, I believe that food should not be wasted and that throwing a bunch of food together does not constitute a meal nobody should ever do this unless they know the Individual they are cooking for enjoys it. At least make separate dishes. Grilled corn by itself is delicious. Spare patties can be cooked by themselves in less than a half hour in a skillet. As a rule use butter! makes almost anything taste better. Above all, know what the person you are cooking for likes and does not like. And for the love of God taste as you are cooking and ask for an opinion!
Smh. I've dated this type more than once, it's a no-win situation. When you're younger you think it's your fault because you're not a good cook or you aren't managing the household properly. As you get more experienced you realize that it's about control. I finally woke up the day I was massaging the bfs feet before his pre-dinner nap (dinner perfectly timed) and he was still b*tching because although I had cleared the weeks menu with him, I hadn't consulted him about what dinner to make on that particular day. So, like I said, Donna Reed couldn't satisfy this type. Find yourself someone that respects you and appreciates what you do, they're out there.
I sincerely hope they're using birth control. He's enough of a child himself.
IF YOU ARE SO ADLE-BRAINED THAT YOU HAVE TO POST TO INTERNET STRANGERS IN ORDER TO HANDLE THIS ISSUE, THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO AHEAD AND STAY WITH YOUR MAN AND TAKE SOME COOKING LESSONS WHILE YOU'RE AT OT-AT YOUR EXPENSE OF COURSE (BECAUSE AS AN IDIOT YOU WONT FIND ANY BETTER BOYFRIEND ANYWAY). INTELLIGENT MODERN INDEPENDENT WOMEN OF TODAY WOULD NOT THROW HIS SORRY A*S OUT FAST ENOUGH (BUT THEY AREN'T ADDICTED TO A MAN LIKE YOU ARE-IF THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL A MAN NOWDAYS).
Now we know why he has to date such young women. Arrested development.
Guy came round drunk and hungry. I asked if he liked each ingredient, if he wanted them separate or mixed together (asked if each ingredient should be added to the mix) presented him what he said he would eat, to be told "I'm not eating that slop". Exit newly ex boyfriend.
OP. I'd have your meal any day. I like hearty "grub", be that scraps. The only thing i ask, is that it is tasty, not bland, but apart from that, I'd welcome it all. The guy is a red flag..
Damn! That sounds good. You took leftovers and made a fine meal. Magic. Dump the moron. He has you in a bad place and he is holding you back. It will only get worse from here.
It is very concerning that you are allowing him to treat you so disrespectfully. Also the fact that you are second guessing yourself for perfectly reasonable actions: cooking a meal from scratch after his tantrum. You deserve better. Please don't continue in this relationship-it's not going to get better over time. Once you are older & not so compliant, he will dump you & make you believe it's your fault for the breakup.
That man childs brain is broken and he's trying to break hers. I hope she gets out from her shackles before the damage is irreversible.
I'm in just late 30s. The other day my friends and I were laughing and joking about the s**t we tolerated from men in our 20s when we didn't know any better. There are still some men that expect to get away with that stuff and that's why I'm just fine being single
Who even cooks every day anyways? I always make things to last at least 2 days. Fridges are a thing, and their entire purpose is to storage food.
Haha not only would I not have made him a new dinner, but the minute that man fell asleep, I would have packed my stuff, the leftovers and every cracker in the house, and left. That way he can enjoy the fresh food he'd have to go get for himself...what an abusive a-hole. And that poor woman with no self esteem...
Nope I deal with family members that act this way. I ignore them. ¡Come Caca! Eat s*!t. If you don't understand Spanish. I get tired of instances of this kind of disrespect. Run while you still have a chance out of respect for your safety and dignity. You don't deserve that kind of treatment.
It's hard to believe ppl act like such complete assholes. And then the ppl theyre assholes to question themselves 🤦♀️
I need to know if he expects her to go to the store every single day for "new" food? Last time I checked we had fridges and pantries for a damn reason. None of the items she listed were scraps by anyone elses standards except her pos bf. My bf(53) I'm (42) he is happy with whatever I make him to eat. I'm not much of a cook but I try. I am one hell of a baker tho sadly he thinks man can't survive on cake alone I disagree lmao. He also cooks on days he doesn't work bc he likes to cook and is good at it. This dude is straight up abusive. I hope to God she gets out before his abuse escalates. I wonder how many other girls left him bc of his abuse before she came along. It's heartbreaking that she even for one second thought she could be the AH in this situation. Girls know your worth! You don't need to put up with abuse physical or emotional from anyone EVER!
Those weren't leftovers. It was uncooked ingredients from the night before. If they were not consumed in something, it's a waste. Her creation sounded delicious. 41yo is too old for a temper tantrum. That was a calculated guilt trip to a dark place. Get out before there's a diaper change.
My wife drove to del taco one sunday morning and when she hot back she set the bag of food on the table. So I take a seat at the table and she loooked at me and said, what are you doing ? I replyed, Im getting readt to eat. She loiked at me and said ,you didnt say youwere hungry. My wife did not work and bought the food with my money. What a CRUEL CRUEL bad name for a woman. Yes , She became ex wife not too long later. Thank God
He is way too old and undesirable to be acting this way. He is abusive. You are not obligated to cook for a boyfriend. He's not your husband or your child. Get rid of him. He sounds unstable.
He is already WAY PAST red flag if you even for a second considered you were and a*****e. Abuse mentally (and she is...she made another meal) yes an a*****e no way!!!
Next time take a c**p on a plate right in front of him,give it to him and tell him that you can't get fresher then that. Boune appetite
So confused how uncooked food is leftovers... That's not left overs, that fresh ingredients. Girl run.
To the ppl bîtching about age gap; the age gap doesnt matter. UNLESS; the younger partner is under 25, for starters. Also, the main issue, if we arent talking a flat out predator, is WHERE you are in life, not how old you are. If you're in your mid 20s and ready to settle down, you have a career set up and a comfortable and confident in yourself and life, then dating someone much older isnt unrealistic, as the MENTALITY will match up. The age gap matters when the older person is basically looking for a person that's easier to manipulate, and they want them young because sex. In this case, age didnt even register at first, the dudes attitude did though. Which you will find that attitude on people of both sexes, and at all stages of life. TL;DR, hes just an entitled asshat who seems to think his talking sex doll should obey. Throw the whole guy away, that ain't a man.
I would leave him in a heartbeat. I've been with a man like that who has hurt me emotionally beyond anything imaginable and the moment I filed for divorce was the best day of my life, because I chose myself for the first time and realized that I'm not worth the misery some people can put you through. No woman deserves a narcissistic man like that. He's ungrateful but makes you feel like you're the one doing something wrong. The fact that you even have to ask whether you're the a**h*le means that he's manipulating you, because you're not doing anything wrong yet you question yourself rather than his ungrateful behavior. Either kick him out, or you tell him that from now on you only cook for yourself and if he wants meals with ingredients bought fresh the same day he can go to the grocery store each and every day himself and cook his own meals. I wouldn't even bother trying to please a man like that. Also, please remind him that it's good to finish food you already have at home and being wasteful isn't a good quality, nor is nagging and ungratefulness. There are literally people starving in the world who'd do everything for a meal even if the ingredients are a week old, or made from leftovers.
Hearing a lot of disparaging comments about age. I'm in my late 40s who would prefer a younger woman, and OPBF is just a jerk, what she made sounds awesome. I literally took notes because minus the rice, that's a KETO Protein bowl 😆 dudes just crazy. She sounds really sweet (and frugal) and worked with what she had.
I love the comment about the "kitty litter taco"! Seriously, though, don't walk away from this guy. RUN!
I grew up with leftovers as a rule and I was grateful for the food. This little man b***h needs to be thrown out with the rest of the trash.
That boy friend is huge d******d She should drop him like bad habit!!!!! And I’m a guy so that make me double embarrassed!! He’s an a*****e !!!!!!
Girl, that meal sounds amazing. You're too good for this man! Also, it's not 1950! No man should be expecting you to cook for him & go shopping for him every damn day! That's just absurd. Unless of course that's something you like to do & want to do! Then it's okay. But it doesn't seem like you love being treated like this. Find you a man who cooks for you, just as much as you cook for him! A man who is grateful for your delicious meals made of "scraps." A man who isn't going to throw a tantrum everytime he doesn't get what he wants. Your are NTA! But he is. Please leave this man.
I do 99% of the cooking at my house. My wife always compliments me on how I can whip out a 5 * dinner out of a onion and little else. He is an whiny little b***h.
She needs to respect herself enough and get out of that situation entirely. I've been in a relationship like that. I'm a 21F and he was a 36M. (Just to point out that it was a poly relationship and I came after his other 31F girlfriend) He acted like a complete toddler. Wouldn't work, clean, or do anything really he expected everything to be done for him and he never cooked for himself. For example He wouldn't eat a burger without a side like fries or chips even if it was a whole burger with everything he liked and say he's starving after refusing to eat said burger and go on and on trying to guilt trip me and her. We worked 12hr shifts at a factory that requires constant standing. I have nerve damage in my legs and lower back and I couldn't keep up the job. He told me if I lost the job then he would kick me out.(while again he didn't work at all besides playing computer games all day.) So I decided enough was enough I bought a plane ticket and got the heck out of there not looking bac
Back* I'm happily single now and I'm a live in aid for my grandmother. Let's just say I don't think I'll ever be able to be in another relationship. Besides him being mentally abusive he was also physically abusive to only me. For the other females sake I hope she decided to leave him after I left. I have so much more respect for myself now and I won't stand for the smallest of mind games.
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Dump that piece of c**p....that dinner wasn't leftovers, that was a fresh meal you cooked...and sounded so yummy I'm going to make that myself!
I didn't have to so much as read this one before responding. I put myself, my wife both through college waiting tables and cooking in mid to upscale privately owned mom and Pop shops. You would be horrified how much delicious, meals You've paid for that are made from scraps. In our home I do all the cooking. One of our favorite meals is scrap left over pizza cut up crust and all and scraped in to a pip tin between two crusts and baked. Tell him to jump of a bridge or something.
Nothing a good swift kick in the a*s wouldn't fix. Dump him and do it yesterday.
so NTA.41 yr old? he can feed himself. belittling for not feeding him? throw the leftovers at him & then throw them both out. i am a master of taking so called scraps and making great meals with it. my family/friends know that i do this and instead of being insulting are usually amazed. get rid of him. oh, and a 40+ yr old man dating 20+ lady? someone is having a mid life crisis and it isn't her.
I'm not sure I would call him abusive, but I would most certainly call him an a-hole and you should probably look at being able to do better! Like literally any normal human male! Age difference or not. I've always dated younger! Because people my age are f*****g abusive. Sit on the couch useless! I'm sure there are some that aren't. I just haven't had the pleasure of meeting them! But for sure cut that toddler loose and move on! The sooner the better.
Your house isn't a f*****g restaurant. You either eat what's been cooked for you, or you don't eat at all. Cook for yourself, order takeout or shut up and skip the meal. If you are throwing a tantrum about being forced to eat leftovers, you are probably not that hungry anyway.
I admire you and your creativity and desire to please (the unpleasable). Dump that jerk.
Don't people use whatever is in the fridge and pantries to cook meals until there is nothing left and one has to go to the market again? have I been doing things wrong? Does the OP's boyfriend expect her to go to the market daily? I don't think things are even that fresh at the store.
He seems like he's scraps, in the bad sense. She should be having none of it. Run!
Sweetie...he's 41, ur 27...RUN!!! Something does not smell right! He had already eaten. He needed an excuse to get out of dinner. When he advised he'd eat crackers, a strobe light should have come down out of the ceiling and u should have enjoyed an "ah-ha moment." RUN! He'll continue on this path until he's caught or u leave. U're young. This is a teachable moment. Learn from it. RUN! Think back to when this behavior began vs his behavior at the beginning of U're relationship. He has a Tell. We all do. Pay close attention to his actions, verbal, non-verbal & physical, and see if he always does the same thing when he's agitated. Think back to how long. BTW, who cooked for him before u did? Nope, something is not fresh! U're young. Find someone who'll love u for u! He needs a live-in housekeeper/maid/cook. U can do bad by urself. RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!! Far Away!!! NOW!!! TODAY!!! Behavioral Sciences Certification thanks to the US Federal Government.
Here in NZ, cooked up leftovers are known as Bubble and Squeak, nom nom. Bf sounds like a petulant child
Those aren't even leftovers lol. Raw food that you purchased yesterday is super fresh. You really think the grocery store sold an entire pallet of corn and got a brand new one from the farm and put that out in a single day?
Does...does the bf seriously think people just shop every single day for what they are making that night? Does he not know that refrigerators and freezers are a thing??
Everyone going on about the age difference is completely wrong. No one bats an eye when an older lady gets with a younger guy. The real issue is this man sounds like he needs a nanny not a girlfriend. I learned to cook from my dad who learned from his mother, incorporating leftovers is not only a money saver, but also a good way to reduce on food waste, time needed to prep or cook the food, and revitalizes the food and is in general a smart way to live. Going to the store everyday is a fuel waster, money waster, time waster, and brain cell waster.
Well... I would say the age difference matters. There's a common pattern of older men going for younger women. Most often because the younger ones are easier to "mold" to the older man's likes and dislikes. Or at least there won't be as much of a power struggle. There isn't the same power structures regarding older women with younger men (even though the more common thing to question in those couples is the woman's ability to "give him children")
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Ha ha. Someone told me he "didn't eat left overs!" Ok. So I made pizza. And announced I'd give the left overs to the dogs. "NO NO NO, Not leftover pizza!" Next night, I made meatloaf. He surrendered.
This poor woman is being so manipulated. I really hopes she dumps him, like, yesterday. As a lot of people have said, he's just taking advantage of her overall lack of life experience at 27. I get that some people are attracted to older/younger people for various reasons, but he probably can't find someone closer to his own age. Hell, I'm 35, definitely not a significant difference from 41 and I wouldn't go near him. He doesn't deserve her. She deserves SO much better. Is anyone able to provide an update on this one? I feel genuinely concerned for this woman.
why are people hung up on age gaps? My ex and I were 13 yrs difference. And we got along great. My issue is he is a jerk for whining about the food she cooked among others. She needs to leave.
Wow HE is a absolutely the AH!!! Need to leave him before things get worse!!! So many red flags!!!
Yes, you were right. A lot of people who don't have enough money to live off, would be glad to get such a meal.
the more I read these AITA posts the more I believe that 99% of these are fake or are just posts that people make to vent or become a trend somewhere but not surely to get other ppl's approval.
JFC, that's not a man. That a little boy that never grew up. Throw him out!
I would suggest you kick him to the curb. Leftovers are always better the next day. Also, who is buying the groceries? Who is in the kitchen cooking?? Who does the clean up??? Not to forget who is preparing the meal. I say let him eat crackers an what ever he can find to eat with them. My I suggest watch Fried Green Tomatoes. You can get some suggestions.
Also I'd like to add that sometimes leftovers taste better after sitting overnight as flavors sink into the food more. I say this as a 42 yr old man baby who taught himself to cook at around 7 so that my parents who were very busy didn't have to worry about taking time from their schedule.
You sound like a great cook! Great ingenuity and truly caring! I suggest finding a man that is actually a man. I hope he at least changes his own diapers!
So sorry you are dating my ex-husband. The guy is an abusive control freak. I'll bet his mother went through hell with the men in her life treating her this way and this bozo thinks it's normal. You deserve better. Wash that man right out of your hair and enjoy those leftovers. They sound delicious.
OP is definitely NTA. Though they should work on why they allowed his first tantrum to guilt them into cooking that delicious meal for him. We're not responsible for other people's feelings. If he says he wants to eat crackers, let him eat crackers. Make the yummy food just for you. Edit: I also agree with the chorus, this is a huge red flag and they should consider ending the relationship.
Hey Pandas if you have some like this who doesn't appreciate you get the f out of the relationship. Don't both with Reddit or Twitter, just make a plan and leave.
What the hell 27 yr old with a 41 yr old?? Gross find someone your own age..
What the hell are you doing with a 41 yr old ?? Gross, can’t find anyone your own age?
...Ehm... I know my opinion is probably very conservative. NTA for using what's in the fridge. And I don't know your situation. I'm a stay at home spouse, so in our home it works like this: I cook every day (I love to cook) and often make a dessert, cake or something. My husband never cooks. When he comes home, he has a home made dinner and bread. If there is something left from the day before, it's usually me who eats it. And before you start throwing stones at me, I have a dishwasher, dryer, robotic vacuum cleaner... name it, I've got that s**t. I don't have a job but our home is always extra clean, since it's the "only" thing I do. So in my opinion, he works hard to provide and the least I can do to "repay him" is to take care of him.
If two adults agree on the division of labor in the home, and both are happy with the arrangement and no one's being taken advantage of, then good on them, it's no one else's business. It's hard to tell exactly what sort of arrangement the OP has, but if she has a job outside the home, and additionally does all the cooking, there is a serious imbalance in the relationship.
Load More Replies... That's not "hangry" that's being prissy and refusing to eat a well cooked meal that she'd tried so hard for since he refused leftovers.
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Or, how about he sits down, shuts up and eats whatever the f**k is provided, and do it gratefully, like an adult?
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Jesus. He's very clearly already conditioned her to accept his abuse. Note: she felt bad for expecting leftovers to be eaten. I hope she runs as fast as she can!!
Exactly..she felt bad that she was going to not waste food and make use of it next day?! He's a pos
Load More Replies... Way past the red flag stage even. Red flags are supposed to warn you the guy could be a potential abuser. This is just blatant abuse.
Load More Replies... As someone with a boyfriend 20 years my senior, ditch that a*****e. If he can't accept and appreciate what you did so he could eat then he will not treat you well. My guy can be a grumpy old man sometimes but never would he even consider disrespecting me like that. That's just s**t behavior that'll get worse and you will end up being mentally or emotionally abused at the minimum. I can't even fathom someone speaking to me like that over somethingas trivial as a meal; there is zero respect there. It's a massive red flag and things will only get worse.
Why do people even get involved with as*h*ts like him? I cook with leftover ingredients all the time. If they are still good why would you toss them out? While growing up broke, sometimes the only stuff you have are the leftover stuff. This man is spoiled rotten.
Wait….you think asshats present as asshats off gate and people are like “omg just what I wanted!”??????
Load More Replies... This man doesn't want a girlfriend. He wants a slave and an emotional punching bag. And this will only escalate. I hope she gets out NOW.
Exactly ...why does he expect fresh ingredients everytime? As is usual with abusers they never make sense.
Load More Replies... Bruh I would eat left overs everyday. The fact that she felt so bad that she made up a whole new meal to feed him and made good use of the leftovers so they wouldn’t be thrown away….she’s a absolute gem. He’s a selfish brat. Honestly OPs way to good for him
Tell him to cook his own f*****g food since his a*s wants to be picky! Don't put up with that s**t. Run away girl, RUN!
Holy cow!! So many shades of red flag being thrown here!!! You are not his slave, what you made sounds delightful. Heck anytime someone cooks for you, its to be taken as an act of love. Doesn't matter if its reheated leftovers, re-imagined left overs or a whole culinary feast... they took time and effort to make you something to nourish yourself. He can eff right the eff off!
Girl, you lucked out to see this overgrown pap-sucker for what he is. Run! Here cries an insecure, overgrown brat. You don't need this.
There is something wrong with this so-called "man." Number one, no one I know goes to the store every day to shop. Number two, if he doesn't appreciate you now, he never will. Number three, he won't change. Number 4. You can do so much better. Number 5. Your dinner sounds delicious! 😊❤️🤗
Run. Just run. This person has no idea how life works. You are not going to fix him - only Life's School of Reality will.
At 41 if he hasn't figured this out by now, he never will.
Load More Replies... NTAa, but I agree with everyone else. Just dump him and never look back.
Aaaaand now we GTFO and dump his a*s for someone who will appreciate GETTING A MEAL THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO COOK NO MATTER WHAT IS IN IT.
I mean, I’d rather cook my own food than have something I don’t like cooked for me. But that’s why I, you know, cook my own food.
Load More Replies... NTA!! What you have made showed your creativity with the food that was in the freaking fridge!! And, possibly better than what's offered at Taco Bell or Chipotle!! But, no, the 41-year old man decided to act like a child and refuse to even taste the food!! So, next time he wants to ACT like child, he should be TREATED like one!! Meaning, if he decides to pull the "I rather have crackers" bit instead of a decent meal, CALL HIS BLUFF!!! Make the meal, and instead of serving him that, give him the crackers instead on a plate!! If he asks, "What's this?", tell him, "I've decided to take you up on your offer and give you crackers for dinner. Isn't that what you wanted, honey?" If he says, "I was kidding", say, "That's funny, didn't sound like it to me, now eat." If he starts to complain, remind him that he didn't even bother to taste your cooking when offered. Then, while he sits eating the crackers, you sit with a plate of the food you prepared and eat it in front of him.
I'm astonished this would even be considered an issue in the first place. Where do these people live? "He asked me what I was making for dinner"? "Lazy because I didnt want to go grocery shopping"? I'm not even entering into the scraps/no scraps (of course you eat scraps), but a 41 yo man can cook for himself if he thinks he knows better. If someone is doing you the favour of cooking for you, you say thanks and you eat. Period.
Disagree with the last sentence, but if you have strong preferences, the solution is to cook your own food.
Load More Replies... Is this the 1950's? He wants her to go buy new food ingredients EVERY DAY, and then complains about eating a burger that isn't even bad. This is a gigantic red flag. Also, people like this still exist???
U know its OK to want a housewife...and its ok for a woman to want to stay at home minding the home and feeding her family..but its another for a grown a*s man to act like he will starve if he doesn't get fresh ingredients...wtf lol..u wud imagine if he is that hungry and 4q he would be able to make his own food...every adult should be able to cook..its a self sufficient thing
Load More Replies... Some of my husbands favorite meals are when I make say, rice and chicken. Then the next day I do a stirfry of some kind with the leftovers. I have always cooked like this - but imagine being fed a homecooked meal at all, and complaining. Definitely would not stick with this guy!
Over here we even have names for meals made with leftovers, bubble and squeak being the most well known. This guy deserves to die alone.
Load More Replies... This guy is my age, he sounds like a t****r, my wife would dump the food on my head if I carried on like this, and my mother would slap me as well. Who the f**k raised this clown?
A lot of the stories apparently are made up. Some people have even bragged about how many stories they make up on that sub.
Load More Replies... And PS: I have a boyfriend 16 years my senior and HE DOES THE COOKING in our home
It's not the age difference, my parents had a huge age gap and my dad would eat anything my mum cooked, but he liked salad/dressing made in a very particular way so he always made it himself!
Load More Replies... My 16yo does this to me. Loves what I make, but thinks leftovers or extra ingredients cooked the next day is offensive. So she just eats snacks when I make any ingredient twice or reheat leftovers, including her beloved spaghetti, goulash, chicken pot pie, burgers, etc.. I'm so sick of this disrespectful behavior and can't wait for her to move out. Her father was the exact same way. I've lived with abuse my entire life and as a result, I've had zero desire to have a man around for the last decade, and now can't wait to be completely alone. It doesn't matter who they are. If they're abusive, they need to leave. I can live them from a distance, but up close, that ain't happening. I don't deserve to be abused by anyone.
I can't believe so many people are like this; your daughter is around my age. You don't deserve to be treated like that, especially since you're willing to cook for her and put efforts into making meals. There's absolutely nothing wrong with leftovers. She needs to cook c**p for herself if she is gonna act like that. I'm sorry you have to put up with this.
Load More Replies... What. The. F**k. I can't even believe she's questioning if she's the a*****e in this scenario. What a pathetic man-baby this guy is. We eat leftovers all the time in my house because I grew up poor and hate wasting food. Eat the food, put HIM in the bin!!!
I often feel like AITA posts are just ways to put someone on blast and have the internet make people feel good about themselves. This is not that. If this is a real post then that woman needs to dump him immediately and spend some time being single and in therapy. No one should be putting up this kind of behavior and wondering if they were somehow in the wrong. This screams abuse to me (either now or in the past). OP needs to KNOW deep down that she is worth more than this kind of treatment.
Oh definitely get rid of that guy. He's spoiled, lazy, and rude. My advice on dating older men, chose one that's actually emotionally mature, knows how to cook, clean for himself etc. There are far too many 40+ man babies around. To be this age and not have acquired these skills means he's TRYING to avoid them.
Don't even need to read the article. NTA. Perhaps he should go back to sucking Mom's tit
Seeing as he is old enough to be her father, he is old enough to cook his own damn meals if he isn't happy with what she cooked!
Apart from the guy being an arsehole: what else should they have done with the food? Throw it out??
Exactly wat I thought...does he think he is royalty or something?
Load More Replies... I agree with all the other posters. RUN!! And run as fast as you can, unless you want to live a life of being a slave to a man/child who has regular temper tantrums because you cooked him a beautiful meal. This guy is in his 40s and single for a reason. Please don't be a victim.
Run, do not walk, away from this entitled man child unless you are up for a life of unappreciated servitude.
Since when are uncooked ingredients "scraps" or "leftovers"? Even my leftovers-averse friend agreed it doesn't count if it isn't cooked yet. What a man-child. Of course there are always exceptions, but from my experience, a man who pursues a woman much younger tends to have maturity issues himself. This man needs to take his additude, his control issues, and his beloved crackers and move along.
He sounds like a 41 years old narcissistic toddler missing his mommy. I have veggies in the fridge right now that are a week old and still perfectly fine. Even if they started to wilt or go soft I would use them to make a soup or stew that would then last me for 2 or 3 days. No, I'm not poor either. What fool goes to the market every single day for just that day's meals? Heck, our nearest market is 5 miles away so a daily trip would be a ridiculous and expensive waste of gasoline. That's 70 miles and likely $20 in gas every week. 3,640 miles and over $1,000 in gas expenses over a year. I'm gonna nope the heck out of that idea. She needs to "scrap" the BF. Maybe drop him off at a farm because that's the ONLY way he is getting same-day "non-scrap" food that hasn't sat on a market shelf for several days.
What is it with all these supposed grown-ups that are unable to cook? Cooking is not a gendered skill, it is a life skill.
Yes it absolutely is. Especially when times are hard or money is running short at the end of the month, you have the skills to make a decent meal out of cheap, simple ingredients.
Load More Replies... First, sit down and enjoy your delicious meal. Let the man child eat his crackers or whatever. Next, reevaluate your relationship, pack your bags, and leave him.
I can't cook decently so will eat almost anything or at least try it if someone goes to the time to cook it and thats before id be eternalgrateful that somebody so young looked at me 🤔
That food sounded good to me. NTA. A guy in his 40s acting like this? Sounds like he never grew up. You need to get out of that situation.
Get yourself a fresh boyfriend and send the old one a picture of your next " meal ".
Yes, you should have played this differently. You should have made the meal just as you did. When Mr. Scraps rejected it, dished out just enough for you, and eaten it while Mr. Scraps ate his crackers. Put the leftovers away, went about your business, and listened for him to get up on the middle of the night to devour them. The meal you prepared sounds tasty and was very thoughtful on your part. If Mr. Scraps is always like this, perhaps you should rethink your situation. 🤔
she should have baked this into an unrecognizable casserole with noodles and cheese... she would have gotten away with it... come to think of it, why didn't she just tell him to order in chinese or pizza for both if her leftovers were so unsatisfactory...
Jeezes, can't image how this guy thinks grocery shopping is done. We go shopping for an entire week, scraps are used as improvisation. Don't waste good food. I was really baffled when the "scraps" were not even leftovers but freshly cooked and boughed yesterday. DITCH
Don't waste food, whether you're rich or poor, it's wasteful, the world is overpopulated, food is becoming more scarce so we're deforesting more and more for arable land. It's just common sense.
GET. OUT. WHILE. YOU. CAN. Don't wait til he punches you emotionally and physically.
Let's see, 14 year age difference? Check. Weird codependence probably stemming from daddy issues? Check. Toxic manipulation and guilt tripping? Double check! It's like a cornucopia of ingredients for a toxic relationship. The only thing that's "scrap" in this post is this a-hole.
A man who won't eat leftovers?? Any guy will tell you "Bachelor Surprise" meals is a staple for men...as a guy, I say dump him....
He's an abusive POS who's gaslightning you. RUN and never look back!
The only case this would be just about acceptable is if the man was under 5 years old. Run and let him starve!
Run run run!!! He is a total dirt bag and probably a narcissist. While he's at work, Pack up his s**t and put it on the front porch!! Text him "we're over" and then block his number. I've been there girl, trust me, get out before it's even harder! You can do MUCH better than this douchebag, that I promise you. This is what abuse looks like, at least in the beginning/middle stages. If you value yourself at all, do everything you can to get out of this relationship now!! And do not talk to him because he will try to drag you back in. I don't have much hope though, he is extremely manipulative and she hasn't learned the hard lesson of how to hold your boundaries and value your own needs (you know, that thing our parents didn't teach us). I learned that one in my 20s too. Really hope she makes it out.
I was just thinking the other day, that AITA on reddit just went so fake. Usually it's very obvious who is AH, I just don't believe this girl would think she "did something wrong", ffs she cooked a meal and he was sh*tty, ungrateful and entitled. There's just a part missing about "and my friends and family say I'm overreacting", because that seems to be what people who should have your back do now on AITA...
I agree .. other people don't obviously and we'll get downvoted (not that I care) for that opinion. I'm not saying there's no abusive men and I'm not saying there's no women who would keep up with that but a ton of people on Reddit are just attention seekers
Load More Replies... This is a typical example of an older man who wants a younger woman he can control and use as a house pet. That's why you should be VERY careful while dating older men as a woman. They aren't primary after your body - they want the control and status that comes with it. They know a woman their age wouldn't take it. Sure, some can change but most of them are pretty set in their ways and like it that way. I've dated older men in the past and I'm married to an older man (16 yrs) and he used to be sort of like that in some ways. It took a LOT of work for him to drop it (otherwise I would leave) and we still struggle with that sometimes. Put your foot down and if it doesn't get better - LEAVE. You did nothing wrong and he behaves horrible. It isn't on you to be his maid and play bunny. Blah.
Leftovers is a term for previously cooked foods from a prior meal not uncooked food bought on a prior day. What did he expect to happen with the food in the refrigerator?
I want to find this girl on Reddit and tell her to get a f*****g spine. My God she just set women back 50 years by even posting this question. Ladies, it's not your job to cook for these guys. They have hands and some of them even have a brain.
What she cooked wasn’t ‘leftovers’. Leftovers would be if she’d cooked that same meal yesterday and then rewarmed it today. How can a raw pepper, rice etc. be leftovers?
This does not ring true. A 41 year-old guy? Nooooo. Where in the world does anyone get a meal with things that were just purchased THAT DAY. And how long was it hanging out in the stores that it was purchased from??. If this is true, he's total a**hole, and he's just pushing her buttons and being a jerk for 'fun'.
Even if I ended up hating the taste of something my girlfriend made I'd still be grateful that she took the time to make it, also there's nothing wrong with a meal made from leftover ingredients it's much better than wasting them by throwing them away(a meal cooked with leftovers is in no way "scraps" because the scraps are the parts you can't cook).
Girl, you need to leave that relationship! It will only get worse if you stay!
Girl, you deserve WAY better. He's given you a red flag the size of a blanket--don't miss it.
I agree that he's an a*****e, and she should get out of the relationship. However as someone who regularly cooks and enjoys it, I believe that food should not be wasted and that throwing a bunch of food together does not constitute a meal nobody should ever do this unless they know the Individual they are cooking for enjoys it. At least make separate dishes. Grilled corn by itself is delicious. Spare patties can be cooked by themselves in less than a half hour in a skillet. As a rule use butter! makes almost anything taste better. Above all, know what the person you are cooking for likes and does not like. And for the love of God taste as you are cooking and ask for an opinion!
Smh. I've dated this type more than once, it's a no-win situation. When you're younger you think it's your fault because you're not a good cook or you aren't managing the household properly. As you get more experienced you realize that it's about control. I finally woke up the day I was massaging the bfs feet before his pre-dinner nap (dinner perfectly timed) and he was still b*tching because although I had cleared the weeks menu with him, I hadn't consulted him about what dinner to make on that particular day. So, like I said, Donna Reed couldn't satisfy this type. Find yourself someone that respects you and appreciates what you do, they're out there.
I sincerely hope they're using birth control. He's enough of a child himself.
IF YOU ARE SO ADLE-BRAINED THAT YOU HAVE TO POST TO INTERNET STRANGERS IN ORDER TO HANDLE THIS ISSUE, THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO AHEAD AND STAY WITH YOUR MAN AND TAKE SOME COOKING LESSONS WHILE YOU'RE AT OT-AT YOUR EXPENSE OF COURSE (BECAUSE AS AN IDIOT YOU WONT FIND ANY BETTER BOYFRIEND ANYWAY). INTELLIGENT MODERN INDEPENDENT WOMEN OF TODAY WOULD NOT THROW HIS SORRY A*S OUT FAST ENOUGH (BUT THEY AREN'T ADDICTED TO A MAN LIKE YOU ARE-IF THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL A MAN NOWDAYS).
Now we know why he has to date such young women. Arrested development.
Guy came round drunk and hungry. I asked if he liked each ingredient, if he wanted them separate or mixed together (asked if each ingredient should be added to the mix) presented him what he said he would eat, to be told "I'm not eating that slop". Exit newly ex boyfriend.
OP. I'd have your meal any day. I like hearty "grub", be that scraps. The only thing i ask, is that it is tasty, not bland, but apart from that, I'd welcome it all. The guy is a red flag..
Damn! That sounds good. You took leftovers and made a fine meal. Magic. Dump the moron. He has you in a bad place and he is holding you back. It will only get worse from here.
It is very concerning that you are allowing him to treat you so disrespectfully. Also the fact that you are second guessing yourself for perfectly reasonable actions: cooking a meal from scratch after his tantrum. You deserve better. Please don't continue in this relationship-it's not going to get better over time. Once you are older & not so compliant, he will dump you & make you believe it's your fault for the breakup.
That man childs brain is broken and he's trying to break hers. I hope she gets out from her shackles before the damage is irreversible.
I'm in just late 30s. The other day my friends and I were laughing and joking about the s**t we tolerated from men in our 20s when we didn't know any better. There are still some men that expect to get away with that stuff and that's why I'm just fine being single
Who even cooks every day anyways? I always make things to last at least 2 days. Fridges are a thing, and their entire purpose is to storage food.
Haha not only would I not have made him a new dinner, but the minute that man fell asleep, I would have packed my stuff, the leftovers and every cracker in the house, and left. That way he can enjoy the fresh food he'd have to go get for himself...what an abusive a-hole. And that poor woman with no self esteem...
Nope I deal with family members that act this way. I ignore them. ¡Come Caca! Eat s*!t. If you don't understand Spanish. I get tired of instances of this kind of disrespect. Run while you still have a chance out of respect for your safety and dignity. You don't deserve that kind of treatment.
It's hard to believe ppl act like such complete assholes. And then the ppl theyre assholes to question themselves 🤦♀️
I need to know if he expects her to go to the store every single day for "new" food? Last time I checked we had fridges and pantries for a damn reason. None of the items she listed were scraps by anyone elses standards except her pos bf. My bf(53) I'm (42) he is happy with whatever I make him to eat. I'm not much of a cook but I try. I am one hell of a baker tho sadly he thinks man can't survive on cake alone I disagree lmao. He also cooks on days he doesn't work bc he likes to cook and is good at it. This dude is straight up abusive. I hope to God she gets out before his abuse escalates. I wonder how many other girls left him bc of his abuse before she came along. It's heartbreaking that she even for one second thought she could be the AH in this situation. Girls know your worth! You don't need to put up with abuse physical or emotional from anyone EVER!
Those weren't leftovers. It was uncooked ingredients from the night before. If they were not consumed in something, it's a waste. Her creation sounded delicious. 41yo is too old for a temper tantrum. That was a calculated guilt trip to a dark place. Get out before there's a diaper change.
My wife drove to del taco one sunday morning and when she hot back she set the bag of food on the table. So I take a seat at the table and she loooked at me and said, what are you doing ? I replyed, Im getting readt to eat. She loiked at me and said ,you didnt say youwere hungry. My wife did not work and bought the food with my money. What a CRUEL CRUEL bad name for a woman. Yes , She became ex wife not too long later. Thank God
He is way too old and undesirable to be acting this way. He is abusive. You are not obligated to cook for a boyfriend. He's not your husband or your child. Get rid of him. He sounds unstable.
He is already WAY PAST red flag if you even for a second considered you were and a*****e. Abuse mentally (and she is...she made another meal) yes an a*****e no way!!!
Next time take a c**p on a plate right in front of him,give it to him and tell him that you can't get fresher then that. Boune appetite
So confused how uncooked food is leftovers... That's not left overs, that fresh ingredients. Girl run.
To the ppl bîtching about age gap; the age gap doesnt matter. UNLESS; the younger partner is under 25, for starters. Also, the main issue, if we arent talking a flat out predator, is WHERE you are in life, not how old you are. If you're in your mid 20s and ready to settle down, you have a career set up and a comfortable and confident in yourself and life, then dating someone much older isnt unrealistic, as the MENTALITY will match up. The age gap matters when the older person is basically looking for a person that's easier to manipulate, and they want them young because sex. In this case, age didnt even register at first, the dudes attitude did though. Which you will find that attitude on people of both sexes, and at all stages of life. TL;DR, hes just an entitled asshat who seems to think his talking sex doll should obey. Throw the whole guy away, that ain't a man.
I would leave him in a heartbeat. I've been with a man like that who has hurt me emotionally beyond anything imaginable and the moment I filed for divorce was the best day of my life, because I chose myself for the first time and realized that I'm not worth the misery some people can put you through. No woman deserves a narcissistic man like that. He's ungrateful but makes you feel like you're the one doing something wrong. The fact that you even have to ask whether you're the a**h*le means that he's manipulating you, because you're not doing anything wrong yet you question yourself rather than his ungrateful behavior. Either kick him out, or you tell him that from now on you only cook for yourself and if he wants meals with ingredients bought fresh the same day he can go to the grocery store each and every day himself and cook his own meals. I wouldn't even bother trying to please a man like that. Also, please remind him that it's good to finish food you already have at home and being wasteful isn't a good quality, nor is nagging and ungratefulness. There are literally people starving in the world who'd do everything for a meal even if the ingredients are a week old, or made from leftovers.
Hearing a lot of disparaging comments about age. I'm in my late 40s who would prefer a younger woman, and OPBF is just a jerk, what she made sounds awesome. I literally took notes because minus the rice, that's a KETO Protein bowl 😆 dudes just crazy. She sounds really sweet (and frugal) and worked with what she had.
I love the comment about the "kitty litter taco"! Seriously, though, don't walk away from this guy. RUN!
I grew up with leftovers as a rule and I was grateful for the food. This little man b***h needs to be thrown out with the rest of the trash.
That boy friend is huge d******d She should drop him like bad habit!!!!! And I’m a guy so that make me double embarrassed!! He’s an a*****e !!!!!!
Girl, that meal sounds amazing. You're too good for this man! Also, it's not 1950! No man should be expecting you to cook for him & go shopping for him every damn day! That's just absurd. Unless of course that's something you like to do & want to do! Then it's okay. But it doesn't seem like you love being treated like this. Find you a man who cooks for you, just as much as you cook for him! A man who is grateful for your delicious meals made of "scraps." A man who isn't going to throw a tantrum everytime he doesn't get what he wants. Your are NTA! But he is. Please leave this man.
I do 99% of the cooking at my house. My wife always compliments me on how I can whip out a 5 * dinner out of a onion and little else. He is an whiny little b***h.
She needs to respect herself enough and get out of that situation entirely. I've been in a relationship like that. I'm a 21F and he was a 36M. (Just to point out that it was a poly relationship and I came after his other 31F girlfriend) He acted like a complete toddler. Wouldn't work, clean, or do anything really he expected everything to be done for him and he never cooked for himself. For example He wouldn't eat a burger without a side like fries or chips even if it was a whole burger with everything he liked and say he's starving after refusing to eat said burger and go on and on trying to guilt trip me and her. We worked 12hr shifts at a factory that requires constant standing. I have nerve damage in my legs and lower back and I couldn't keep up the job. He told me if I lost the job then he would kick me out.(while again he didn't work at all besides playing computer games all day.) So I decided enough was enough I bought a plane ticket and got the heck out of there not looking bac
Back* I'm happily single now and I'm a live in aid for my grandmother. Let's just say I don't think I'll ever be able to be in another relationship. Besides him being mentally abusive he was also physically abusive to only me. For the other females sake I hope she decided to leave him after I left. I have so much more respect for myself now and I won't stand for the smallest of mind games.
Load More Replies... Dump that piece of c**p....that dinner wasn't leftovers, that was a fresh meal you cooked...and sounded so yummy I'm going to make that myself!
I didn't have to so much as read this one before responding. I put myself, my wife both through college waiting tables and cooking in mid to upscale privately owned mom and Pop shops. You would be horrified how much delicious, meals You've paid for that are made from scraps. In our home I do all the cooking. One of our favorite meals is scrap left over pizza cut up crust and all and scraped in to a pip tin between two crusts and baked. Tell him to jump of a bridge or something.
Nothing a good swift kick in the a*s wouldn't fix. Dump him and do it yesterday.
so NTA.41 yr old? he can feed himself. belittling for not feeding him? throw the leftovers at him & then throw them both out. i am a master of taking so called scraps and making great meals with it. my family/friends know that i do this and instead of being insulting are usually amazed. get rid of him. oh, and a 40+ yr old man dating 20+ lady? someone is having a mid life crisis and it isn't her.
I'm not sure I would call him abusive, but I would most certainly call him an a-hole and you should probably look at being able to do better! Like literally any normal human male! Age difference or not. I've always dated younger! Because people my age are f*****g abusive. Sit on the couch useless! I'm sure there are some that aren't. I just haven't had the pleasure of meeting them! But for sure cut that toddler loose and move on! The sooner the better.
Your house isn't a f*****g restaurant. You either eat what's been cooked for you, or you don't eat at all. Cook for yourself, order takeout or shut up and skip the meal. If you are throwing a tantrum about being forced to eat leftovers, you are probably not that hungry anyway.
I admire you and your creativity and desire to please (the unpleasable). Dump that jerk.
Don't people use whatever is in the fridge and pantries to cook meals until there is nothing left and one has to go to the market again? have I been doing things wrong? Does the OP's boyfriend expect her to go to the market daily? I don't think things are even that fresh at the store.
He seems like he's scraps, in the bad sense. She should be having none of it. Run!
Sweetie...he's 41, ur 27...RUN!!! Something does not smell right! He had already eaten. He needed an excuse to get out of dinner. When he advised he'd eat crackers, a strobe light should have come down out of the ceiling and u should have enjoyed an "ah-ha moment." RUN! He'll continue on this path until he's caught or u leave. U're young. This is a teachable moment. Learn from it. RUN! Think back to when this behavior began vs his behavior at the beginning of U're relationship. He has a Tell. We all do. Pay close attention to his actions, verbal, non-verbal & physical, and see if he always does the same thing when he's agitated. Think back to how long. BTW, who cooked for him before u did? Nope, something is not fresh! U're young. Find someone who'll love u for u! He needs a live-in housekeeper/maid/cook. U can do bad by urself. RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!! Far Away!!! NOW!!! TODAY!!! Behavioral Sciences Certification thanks to the US Federal Government.
Here in NZ, cooked up leftovers are known as Bubble and Squeak, nom nom. Bf sounds like a petulant child
Those aren't even leftovers lol. Raw food that you purchased yesterday is super fresh. You really think the grocery store sold an entire pallet of corn and got a brand new one from the farm and put that out in a single day?
Does...does the bf seriously think people just shop every single day for what they are making that night? Does he not know that refrigerators and freezers are a thing??
Everyone going on about the age difference is completely wrong. No one bats an eye when an older lady gets with a younger guy. The real issue is this man sounds like he needs a nanny not a girlfriend. I learned to cook from my dad who learned from his mother, incorporating leftovers is not only a money saver, but also a good way to reduce on food waste, time needed to prep or cook the food, and revitalizes the food and is in general a smart way to live. Going to the store everyday is a fuel waster, money waster, time waster, and brain cell waster.
Well... I would say the age difference matters. There's a common pattern of older men going for younger women. Most often because the younger ones are easier to "mold" to the older man's likes and dislikes. Or at least there won't be as much of a power struggle. There isn't the same power structures regarding older women with younger men (even though the more common thing to question in those couples is the woman's ability to "give him children")
Load More Replies... Ha ha. Someone told me he "didn't eat left overs!" Ok. So I made pizza. And announced I'd give the left overs to the dogs. "NO NO NO, Not leftover pizza!" Next night, I made meatloaf. He surrendered.
This poor woman is being so manipulated. I really hopes she dumps him, like, yesterday. As a lot of people have said, he's just taking advantage of her overall lack of life experience at 27. I get that some people are attracted to older/younger people for various reasons, but he probably can't find someone closer to his own age. Hell, I'm 35, definitely not a significant difference from 41 and I wouldn't go near him. He doesn't deserve her. She deserves SO much better. Is anyone able to provide an update on this one? I feel genuinely concerned for this woman.
why are people hung up on age gaps? My ex and I were 13 yrs difference. And we got along great. My issue is he is a jerk for whining about the food she cooked among others. She needs to leave.
Wow HE is a absolutely the AH!!! Need to leave him before things get worse!!! So many red flags!!!
Yes, you were right. A lot of people who don't have enough money to live off, would be glad to get such a meal.
the more I read these AITA posts the more I believe that 99% of these are fake or are just posts that people make to vent or become a trend somewhere but not surely to get other ppl's approval.
JFC, that's not a man. That a little boy that never grew up. Throw him out!
I would suggest you kick him to the curb. Leftovers are always better the next day. Also, who is buying the groceries? Who is in the kitchen cooking?? Who does the clean up??? Not to forget who is preparing the meal. I say let him eat crackers an what ever he can find to eat with them. My I suggest watch Fried Green Tomatoes. You can get some suggestions.
Also I'd like to add that sometimes leftovers taste better after sitting overnight as flavors sink into the food more. I say this as a 42 yr old man baby who taught himself to cook at around 7 so that my parents who were very busy didn't have to worry about taking time from their schedule.
You sound like a great cook! Great ingenuity and truly caring! I suggest finding a man that is actually a man. I hope he at least changes his own diapers!
So sorry you are dating my ex-husband. The guy is an abusive control freak. I'll bet his mother went through hell with the men in her life treating her this way and this bozo thinks it's normal. You deserve better. Wash that man right out of your hair and enjoy those leftovers. They sound delicious.
OP is definitely NTA. Though they should work on why they allowed his first tantrum to guilt them into cooking that delicious meal for him. We're not responsible for other people's feelings. If he says he wants to eat crackers, let him eat crackers. Make the yummy food just for you. Edit: I also agree with the chorus, this is a huge red flag and they should consider ending the relationship.
Hey Pandas if you have some like this who doesn't appreciate you get the f out of the relationship. Don't both with Reddit or Twitter, just make a plan and leave.
What the hell 27 yr old with a 41 yr old?? Gross find someone your own age..
What the hell are you doing with a 41 yr old ?? Gross, can’t find anyone your own age?
...Ehm... I know my opinion is probably very conservative. NTA for using what's in the fridge. And I don't know your situation. I'm a stay at home spouse, so in our home it works like this: I cook every day (I love to cook) and often make a dessert, cake or something. My husband never cooks. When he comes home, he has a home made dinner and bread. If there is something left from the day before, it's usually me who eats it. And before you start throwing stones at me, I have a dishwasher, dryer, robotic vacuum cleaner... name it, I've got that s**t. I don't have a job but our home is always extra clean, since it's the "only" thing I do. So in my opinion, he works hard to provide and the least I can do to "repay him" is to take care of him.
If two adults agree on the division of labor in the home, and both are happy with the arrangement and no one's being taken advantage of, then good on them, it's no one else's business. It's hard to tell exactly what sort of arrangement the OP has, but if she has a job outside the home, and additionally does all the cooking, there is a serious imbalance in the relationship.
Load More Replies... That's not "hangry" that's being prissy and refusing to eat a well cooked meal that she'd tried so hard for since he refused leftovers.
Load More Replies... Or, how about he sits down, shuts up and eats whatever the f**k is provided, and do it gratefully, like an adult?
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