Woman Gets Blamed By Her Boyfriend For ‘Tricking’ Him Into Eating Vegan Food, Asks The Internet If She’s The Jerk Here
InterviewThere’s an old saying, ‘The only way to a person’s heart is through the stomach.’ Whether it’s a PB & J sandwich or an easy-to-make mac & cheese — there’s no better way to show how much you appreciate someone than filling their belly with homemade food. And yet: who could have thought that the stomach is an equally fast way out from someone’s bloody heart?
A Reddit user by the name of TheElderAgrippina learned this the hard way. For three and a half lovely months, 22-year-old “John” did not complain about the meals his vegan girlfriend was preparing. However, things quickly went out of hand as soon as he learned about the food he was happily munching on that eventful Christmas dinner.
Blamed for “tricking” him into her meatless diet, the author of the story turned to the ‘Am I The [Jerk]‘ subreddit to see if she’s as evil as her boyfriend claims her to be.
Girlfriend took care of BF’s empty stomach by making great vegan meals they both enjoyed
Image credits: Jasmin Schreiber (not the actual photo)
But things took a sudden turn when he learned that they were actually meat-free
One’s love life, like the act of eating, can often get messy. After all, research shows that one and the other are directly linked: when two lovebirds maintain the same diet, whether it’s sloppy joes or vegan tofu, they tend to experience more satisfaction in the relationship.
So what happens to couples who aren’t so lucky with their partner’s eating preferences? Are they doomed to wither like an old bell pepper?
“Not exactly,” Marisa Cohen, Ph.D. relationship researcher and the author of ‘From First Kiss to Forever: A Scientific Approach to Love’, reassured Bored Panda. After analyzing u/TheElderAgrippina’s case, Cohen thinks that “both people were just under the incorrect assumption” and “both could benefit from reframing the situation as a miscommunication,” however difficult that may be. After all, nearly 1 in 3 couples, different eating habits or not, argue about food once in a while.
To support her case, the author filled in the missing gaps
Image credits: TheElderAgrippina
This is what people on the internet had to say about this situation
While it might seem like relationships are doomed to fail when two people have opposing views on such a delicate matter as food—something that we humans attach a lot of our identities to—Cohen insists that there’s totally a way to coexist with your meat-eating/tofu-eating loved one.
“There’s always an option to order your own dishes from a restaurant you both like, right? Or, if your tastes really diverge, order from two separate places,” she pointed out, adding that side dishes and sauces can be an easy answer for couples who haven’t given up on their kitchen matters.
Considering that today over 50% of restaurants in the US have meals to satisfy every dietary habit, and that there are a handful of recipes hitting the sweet spot both for vegetarians and meat-eaters—things look quite positive.
“The most important thing is that people are honest with one another, and aren’t intentionally trying to deceive or manipulate their partner,” Cohen told us. It’s also important to remember that when one does the king’s share of cooking, power struggles might come into play. That’s why experimenting in the kitchen together, trying to see what works “bring people closer together as a couple.”
Best part? It was found that a process established early in the relationship for managing food preferences will likely enhance partners’ decision-making patterns in the future.
“Even if coming from a good place, such as expanding one’s knowledge of new foods or intending to be more health-conscious, if the partner doesn’t want to try it—they should leave it there and not force it upon them,” Cohen finally reminded.
After all, we can choose what we put in our mouths and bellies. But we cannot choose whom and what to love.
Psst! Want some more stories like this? Check this and this out.
A person who told you they are vegan is cooking meals for you, and eating the same meals, and it doesn't occur to you that they might not have been using meat? He should be dumped for stupidity alone.
Either he's that stupid or he was never really listening when she told him something about herself... Either way she deserves better.
Load More Replies...Here's a guy who need to reconsider his priorities in life. Oh noooo the delicious food he ate was PLANTS, top 10 anime betrayals.
She didn't trick him into anything, naturally vegan lady will cook vegan meals. Boyfriend apparently has no allergies, he did not say anything about being against vegan food, so what's his problem?
She fed him a healthy, tasty meal. Not arsenic or glass hidden in the lettuce. He sounds stupid and I'm being generous. She should dump his ass for his ridiculous argument alone.
One could argue the healthiness of impossible burgers and other highly processed vegan meat substitutes.. highly processed food whether plant or animal based is generally less than healthy.
Load More Replies...I wanted to read this and be all "Another bloody vegan forcing their diet on someone!!" but actually I think he's in the wrong here. He's eating at a vegan's house and she's cooking for them BOTH. Did he really think there was meat in the dishes? It's hardly "tampering with his food" it's simply cooking and him being, frankly, a bit thick. My only complaint if I were in the same situation is that I can't eat Quorn as it makes me violently sick. If it's some other meat substitute, then fine.
Who exactly is finding cases of "bloody vegans forcing their diet on someone"? I've been a vegetarian for years, and know plenty of vegetarians and vegans, and I've never met someone who forces their diet on anyone. Many of us happily co-habitate with carnivores. My experience is that it is far more likely for vegetarians and vegans to be mocked and tormented by carnivores. My friends at work used to constantly offer me carnivore food for a laugh. They constantly made fun of what I was eating... it's OK, it was all good fun, I teased them right back.
Load More Replies...NTA. If he had a problem with eating vegan food, he should have told her the minute she told him she was vegan. I'm not vegan myself but I have many vegan friends who don't make a big fuss about it because there are so many people reacting hostile towards vegans. I once threw a burger party and made vegan patties for everyone who didn't want to eat meat. The minute I mentioned that those were vegan, there were like 3-4 friends of mine who started insulting vegans in general. I didn't expect this reaction from them. They're usually nice and tolerant people. It made me angry because they made my vegan friends uncomfortable and made them leave the room and not return to the living room the rest of the evening. I also bake very good vegan brownies and I stopped telling people they're vegan because a lot of people won't even try them then even though they taste just like normal brownies. I don't get why some people feel so threatened by vegan food.
Why would people care if brownies are vegan? if it tastes good then there is zero issue... personally I have tried several meat substitutes I can find in the shop near me and I just cant make them taste as good as meat so thats my reason why I dont eat them (also meat is still cheaper atm).
Load More Replies...But... he knew she was vegan, she cooked and she ate the same meal as he did... how could he think there was meat in there? I'd dump him, because he's just stupid and this resentment of his is just going to grow.
Not her fault he didn't actually pay attention to what she said. Seems pretty self absorbed tbh
The cruelty to the vegetables though!! Poor things! Honestly, does he never eat veg? Is he morally opposed to veg? Nope. So he's not comparing like for like when he goes on about if she'd been made to eat meat instead. He just doesn't like the fact that he feels like an idiot after making a stand against plant based alternatives.
In addition, if you feed a vegan meat, you will make them sick. So it's not at all comparable.
Load More Replies...If you know the person is vegan, why would you expect her to prepare anything else in her house? What is he upset about? If i were the girl, i would be upset about his stupidity and lack of communication of eating something...
Just his pure stupidity is enough to be a pass for me.
Load More Replies...This man is very self centred, he took little or no notice when she told him she was vegan. If he registered the fact at all he apparently assumed that she made special non vegan dishes just for him. A great indication of how he will respect her other lifestyle choices in future.
Well, she didn't "trick" him. He ate the dishes she made and never bothered to ask her about the ingredients. If you are strongly opposed to some kinds of food, it's your responsibility to make sure that the dish you consume doesn't contain anything undesirable. Besides, he never noticed any difference, so he's totally overreacting. It's not like she was poisoning him/giving him something that was bad for his health - nobody dies from plant-based meat.
As I said, if you can't/don't want to eat something for any reason, it's your responsibility to make sure it's not in the dish you are about to eat. If he did ask er and she assured him there is no plant-based stuff in the dish - then I would understand his frustration.
Load More Replies...She did nothing wrong. Calling it a betrayal is almost delusional, i think. Vegan eats vegan food. She told you that she's vegan. It's not her fault you don't listen. I don't get why he's so over the top angry and even go as far as calling it a betrayal... Dude need to chill and start recognising he's the one in the wrong. Geez...
Okay she told him she was vegan what did he think she would feed him. I have a both a wheat and pork allergy guess what I don't cook with. It is often times hard to make meals with no wheat and to.get.people to not turn their nose up at them.
You know what? I'd just be glad someone had made the effort to cook something for me. People are so wary of trying different things. If it's not to your taste at least you know for next time. Give things a go!
Load More Replies..."Tricking him" would be like serving pork if he was Jewish or Muslim, or trying to add things he was allergic to. He was told (even if he didn't pay attention) that you were vegan and since you cooked and ate with him he should have known this was a vegan meal. Personally I must say I prefer "real" meat to plant based meats in steaks, but most ground meats, saussages, burgers and so on can easily be replaced by legumes. Not nuts though, since I'm allergic ;)
OMFG i am huuuge meat eated, but i find his behavior soo stupid. You liked it and now you cry? She said she is vegan, what did you expect - pork? He is acting as a kid
When I read the header I was going to say the woman was the AH, but reading her post she hasn't tricked him, he just ate what she served. I personally would have a big problem if I would have to go vegan as I cannot eat nuts and dairy and hardly any things like beans and peas, but if he has no such issues, he is just whining. It's not like she forced him to eat food stuffs he cannot digest.
Ditto. There's no trickery here. How he can eat at a vegan's house and not assume she was cooking vegan food is just beyond me. Is he really that naive?
Load More Replies...For me the red flag is his indifferent reaction to her telling him she is vegan. If he had actually paid attention to what she had told him, then he would have realised she would be cooking vegan food. His reaction was over the top and childish. And I say this as an avid omnivore!
Is this dude stupid??? How are you shocked that all the food that you at a known VEGANS house had no meat? Like OMG!
"You didn't tell me there was meat in the food" is a problem. "You didn't tell me there was no meat in the food" is not. Not everything a non-vegan eats has meat in it. Unless he has some odd belief that all his food needs meat, he's totally wack.
The guy's a Richard-Edward! I think they should find someone with more intelligence. It's basic common sense, if you date someone that has a cat, you'll get cat hairs on your clothes! If you date a smoker, they will smell of smoke. If you date a vegan, they will cook fecking vegan food.
I'm just amazed at how low this woman's expectation is for a man. If this is called a great relationship...... gosh..... The least you could expect from your partner is listening and understanding. And this one got none. Yet she still thinks she's just not gonna spend NY with him.... girl, don't spend any more TIME with him.
Seems like the old joke isn't really accurate: "How do you tell if someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you". Or in this case "How do you tell if someone is vegan? Eat at their house for 3 months and maybe you'll finally figure it out by watching food shows together".
I don't think the meat is the problem here. He showed no interest in you being vegan and then had a tantrum because, shock horror, you eat vegan food. This is not the behavior of a person who genuinely cares about you and this is his 'out'. If you tolerate this behavior be prepared to relent every time he has a stupid tantrum because he wasn't listening to you in the first place.
I can't believe she actually tried to make up to him! He's a childish idiot who made no pretense of ever listening to a thing she said... she is so much better off without him. If he compared eating vegan food in the home of a vegetarian or vegan to being "tricked" into eating meat, it seems to me that he is about as contemplative as a tantruming 2 year old. I'm just sad for the next person he hooks up with.
Over my near 60 years, I've been a chef, a cook, a gourmand and a culinary explorer. I've basically eaten, in one form or another, 90% of things you can actually eat on this earth. This is not bragging. Some of it was terrible. Anthony Bourdain was and is a hero of mine. Here's the thing - a huge amount of it was vegan and vegetarian. I have traveled with, lived with, am related to, vegans et al. This guy is immature and some sort of narcissist. A tiny bump to his ego is equivalent (in his mind) to a deceptive betrayal - feeding hidden meat to an avowed vegan. This relationship will become toxic. Soon.
She mentioned she was vegan and he said "oh cool" and never discussed it again. She brought up a dealbreaker on the first date and it went in one ear and out the other - I think that's the source of this entire rift. They need to rewind and actually have this conversation ASAP.
Brother needs to understand what being an omnivore means: We can eat all food, vegan, vegetarian, halal, kosher, gluten free, dairy free, organic, palio, keto, alcohol, bbq, and every ethnic food Its all ours and everything else too.
If you have a vegan partner, shouldn't you know that they don't eat meat at all? Strange guy, acting in a childish manner when you discover that it isn't meat, you were enjoying it before. Is he that dense or when she was talking it came through one ear and went out the other
You can't be an AH for not answering a question that wasn't asked. Did he actually think a vegan was keeping meat on hand to feed her boyfriend? Did he not notice she was eating the same things she was serving him? He's mad because he got caught out being dumb, and he's trying to make it her fault.
I was all ready to say YTA because I absolutely hate when people's food is tampered with. But this? NTA. He didn't notice you were always eating the same dishes? Never went to the fridge for something and saw no meat? This is on him for lack of logical thinking. But maybe for the next boyfriend just say 'so obviously this isn't meat' first time you cook for him. Will save you a lot of time.
Dump that idiot. Not because he is eating meat, but he is an ignorant asshole, who never really listened to you. And if he is acting so in the first "honeymoon-months" of your relationship, things will get only worse with time.
Let me see if I understand. She tells him she's vegan. He completely ignores her/doesn't listen in the early "getting to know you" part of the relationship. They have been dating 3.5 months and he has never noticed or paid attention to the fact that she doesn't eat meat. She cooks for him multiple times. He likes the food. He clearly has never cooked for her (she would not have eaten any meat he prepared) or ever helped her in the kitchen while she is cooking for him (he would have seen she doesn't use meat). He's bashing the very non-meat food that she eats without even realizing it (see: completely ignores her/doesn't listen). He finds out that's what he's been eating (and enjoying) while she has been cooking for him (without him ever offering to help). And then, because he ate food that didn't have meat in it, says she owes him an apology and punishes her by not speaking to her. And O.P. thinks this is a good relationship? That really breaks my heart for her on so many levels.
NTA. He doesn't truly see or listen to you. You told him you were vegan, he didn't listen. After that he just sat down and expected you to do all the cooking and serve him meals while he sets up his little playtime. Then when you pointed out you had told him you were vegan, thus he should have known every meal you prepare/eat will always be vegan, he got angry and gaslighted you that you had lied to him. I've been in this relationship, it will not end well. So many red flags of immaturity, disinterest in you, gaslighting, guilting, manipulation......RUN. NOW.
You would of been the asshole if you actually tricked him but if someone told me they were vegan and I went to their house to eat I would not expect a meat dish. At the end of the day who cares? You don’t have to be a vegan to eat vegan food, sometimes I buy vegan cheese with regular cheese cause it’s tasty. It’s food. This is a stupid thing to fight over. Tell your boyfriend he is being stupid that he ate a bunch of healthy food and didn’t know it wasn’t real meat and if he wants a burger he can go get a burger and live his life. Not a big deal. These are not real problems.
I don't think jts a great relationship. 4 months jn get out while you can
He ate it, didn't find any issues. I think the food now tastes bad because he felt deceived due to communication gap. If there were instances where he did complain about the food, then MAYBE it could have been what the issue was. Maybe he just didn't complain even when he felt the difference and put up with it since he presumed it to be some bad cooking, and now that he knew it was fake meat, it might have made his sacrifice meaningless. His ego is hurt. Either way, he has to grow above it.
This man said he hates vegan food that looks like meat. This man is so embarrased that he actually enjoyed the vegan food, and is way too proud to admit it. So now hes blaming her for tricking him. Such a huge asshole...
He sounds like one of those Bros who walk around with an unwashed a**e because touching butts is gay.
Yta some people are allergic to meat alternatives. Also if you mention something once he might not remember it. You should have told him.
My sister & her family are all vegan and it's never once been a problem making dinner for them. I make a delicious Spaghetti Bolognese and just serve Italian sausages on the side, or we'll have "build your own" Greek salads where everything is in separate bowls (feta & salami, etc) with lots of veggies to choose from, some hummus & Naan. Never been an issue. The BF is a petulant little b*tch and needs to be dumped immediately.
I don't agree with tampering with someone else's food. However, he should have known she's a vegan, and, he never clearly specified that there are foods that he won't eat. This time he's the problem. This is not her tricking him into eating something he's made clear he won't eat. This is him not listening to his girlfriend and caring about what she says, and about the things that are important to her.
This is an aside from the article but I think needs to be said. I dont inherently think the woman is an asshole but you should ALWAYS inform someone when using a plant based meat substitute. Soy, nut, and pea allergies are actually REALLY common. I'm lactose intolerant and have an allergy to cashews. I always ask about meat substitutes because it could potentially really hurt me.
Fellow person with a cashew allergy here! 👋 Yes, this scares me about vegan food. I love vegetarian/vegan food, but I have to triple check for tree nuts, which is what gives a lot of the products the thickness and creaminess of dairy. Anyway, I think it's up to the guest to check that the food doesn't contain any applicable allergens, not up to the host to list every single ingredient. I wonder if she asked him about allergies in general first.
Load More Replies...She didn't trick him, he didn't listen to her. But there is miscommunication between the two. And you really should check before feeding someone something. Vegan diet is not for everyone, not because of taste, but because of allergies (to soja based products or wheat based products) and also metabolic diseases that makes it dangerous.
His reaction is way too extreme and he's a terrible listener. People defending the vegan lifestyle need to remember that vegan replacements like impossible meat and beyond meat are heavily processed though and not healthy. A healthy vegan diet would not involve any meat substitutes, it would just include natural stuff, like you know...fruits, vegetables, grains
Annoying people who hate these kinds of things? I don't know - it's about validation probably. I don't like everything posted on Bored Panda. Seems easier to just not bother with the ones that aren't to my taste. If you comment, even negatively, all you do is give them more reason to post similar articles. It means the topic got attention, that's great from Bored Panda's perspective. They can count your comment when selling the site to advertisers and so forth after all.
Load More Replies...If you go to a person's house for a meal you surely tell them that you are allergic to soy based things? If not, that's on you and not them. This man didn't have a food issue he was just being a prat about veganism.
Load More Replies...Not strange at all. There are moral implications in eating meat. There are no moral implications in eating plants that I'm aware of. No allergies are mentioned, no genuine food restrictions that he might have so he's not refusing for health-based reasons. The majority of the meat trade is pretty grim. Eating meat that is humanely reared and slaughtered can be good enough for some people but not for others. These are choices people make. He's being a pillock.
Load More Replies...She said she was vegan. It's pretty stupid to think she would cook and eat non-vegan meals. You normally don't assume people are that dumb.
Load More Replies...How is the homeless man's example similar? It is illegal to feed something that isn't meant to be eaten - in this instance the toothpaste! Don't mistake the two. If the homeless man had been fed Oreo's with an edible substance such as a carob filling, say, instead of chocolate that would not have been against the law, carob is edible. Toothpaste isn't food. If the homeless man had said 'oh, I'm allergic to carob' and they pretended it wasn't in the food THAT would also be wrong. If the boyfriend had said 'I'm allergic to certain plants/vegetables used in 'fake' meat'' and she ignored him that would be wrong, but he didn't and wasn't. The onus is on him to make that aspect clear if it exists. Then for her to keep the food safe for him to eat. Food allergies are a very serious issue and people know what they are allergic to usually and have to keep themselves safe. She wasn't cooking anything that he said he couldn't eat or that wasn't actual food.
Load More Replies...I'm guessing she's not cooking every meal for him. Swapping a few meals a week to vegan is not going to have any negative health effects, likely the opposite.
Load More Replies...Utter and complete rubbish. It is nothing to do with the sex of either person. It is purely that one person didn't pay attention when the other said they were a vegan. Then this person tried to pretend that 'tricking' (aka just serving up what was being cooked in front of them) someone into eating plants is somehow the same as if the other had been tricked into eating meat. Meat which one person is morally opposed to. This man isn't morally opposed to eating plants ffs! He hasn't any food issues that he came out with and she ignored. She told him she was a vegan, he didn't pay attention to her or what he was eating.
Load More Replies...A burger is defined a flat round cake of a savoury ingredient, typically minced beef that is fried or grilled and served in a split bun or roll with various condiments and toppings. A burger does not have to be meat, it can also be made using other savoury ingredients such as legumes. If burger is just the default then why do variations like beef burger, turkey burger etc. already exists as specific versions?
Load More Replies...What if we removed 'vegan'.... I told my boyfriend when we first started dating that I really loved pumpkin and liked to put it in everything. He didn't really comment or say anything about liking pumpkin. He comes to my house a few nights a week and I cook dinner and I always cook with pumpkin because its my favorite. He has always eaten the meals and seemed to enjoy them. He has never commented on the pumpkin content. The other night we were watching a show and he commented that he really hates pumpkin. I was confused because he had been eating my pumpkin every time. Now he is saying I betrayed him because I fed him pumpkin and is demanding an apology....... yeah. Its as dumb as it sounds.
Load More Replies...She could have prepared two separate dishes? What the actual F?
Load More Replies...If he can't work out that a vegan isn't going to cook meat he's being a twit. I agree he dismissed it because he wasn't interested (what a prize catch) but the rest is on him for not taking time to join the, very easy to join, dots. Though being made an offence to hide meat free - isn't that just on selling food and being clear about the ingredients which would be perfectly reasonable in all instances. Not sure if it would apply to people in their own homes serving up food to friends.
Load More Replies...There is no "situation would be reversed". He never mentioned a dietary restriction. If he had stated that he doesn't eat legumes, and then she cooked him legumes without telling him, that would obviously be very unacceptable. Did she feed him something that was a restriction for him? No, she did not.
Load More Replies...No, if the boyfriend had specific allergies, that would be up to him to tell ANYONE who is cooking for him. She never lied about anything she was cooking.
Load More Replies...A person who told you they are vegan is cooking meals for you, and eating the same meals, and it doesn't occur to you that they might not have been using meat? He should be dumped for stupidity alone.
Either he's that stupid or he was never really listening when she told him something about herself... Either way she deserves better.
Load More Replies...Here's a guy who need to reconsider his priorities in life. Oh noooo the delicious food he ate was PLANTS, top 10 anime betrayals.
She didn't trick him into anything, naturally vegan lady will cook vegan meals. Boyfriend apparently has no allergies, he did not say anything about being against vegan food, so what's his problem?
She fed him a healthy, tasty meal. Not arsenic or glass hidden in the lettuce. He sounds stupid and I'm being generous. She should dump his ass for his ridiculous argument alone.
One could argue the healthiness of impossible burgers and other highly processed vegan meat substitutes.. highly processed food whether plant or animal based is generally less than healthy.
Load More Replies...I wanted to read this and be all "Another bloody vegan forcing their diet on someone!!" but actually I think he's in the wrong here. He's eating at a vegan's house and she's cooking for them BOTH. Did he really think there was meat in the dishes? It's hardly "tampering with his food" it's simply cooking and him being, frankly, a bit thick. My only complaint if I were in the same situation is that I can't eat Quorn as it makes me violently sick. If it's some other meat substitute, then fine.
Who exactly is finding cases of "bloody vegans forcing their diet on someone"? I've been a vegetarian for years, and know plenty of vegetarians and vegans, and I've never met someone who forces their diet on anyone. Many of us happily co-habitate with carnivores. My experience is that it is far more likely for vegetarians and vegans to be mocked and tormented by carnivores. My friends at work used to constantly offer me carnivore food for a laugh. They constantly made fun of what I was eating... it's OK, it was all good fun, I teased them right back.
Load More Replies...NTA. If he had a problem with eating vegan food, he should have told her the minute she told him she was vegan. I'm not vegan myself but I have many vegan friends who don't make a big fuss about it because there are so many people reacting hostile towards vegans. I once threw a burger party and made vegan patties for everyone who didn't want to eat meat. The minute I mentioned that those were vegan, there were like 3-4 friends of mine who started insulting vegans in general. I didn't expect this reaction from them. They're usually nice and tolerant people. It made me angry because they made my vegan friends uncomfortable and made them leave the room and not return to the living room the rest of the evening. I also bake very good vegan brownies and I stopped telling people they're vegan because a lot of people won't even try them then even though they taste just like normal brownies. I don't get why some people feel so threatened by vegan food.
Why would people care if brownies are vegan? if it tastes good then there is zero issue... personally I have tried several meat substitutes I can find in the shop near me and I just cant make them taste as good as meat so thats my reason why I dont eat them (also meat is still cheaper atm).
Load More Replies...But... he knew she was vegan, she cooked and she ate the same meal as he did... how could he think there was meat in there? I'd dump him, because he's just stupid and this resentment of his is just going to grow.
Not her fault he didn't actually pay attention to what she said. Seems pretty self absorbed tbh
The cruelty to the vegetables though!! Poor things! Honestly, does he never eat veg? Is he morally opposed to veg? Nope. So he's not comparing like for like when he goes on about if she'd been made to eat meat instead. He just doesn't like the fact that he feels like an idiot after making a stand against plant based alternatives.
In addition, if you feed a vegan meat, you will make them sick. So it's not at all comparable.
Load More Replies...If you know the person is vegan, why would you expect her to prepare anything else in her house? What is he upset about? If i were the girl, i would be upset about his stupidity and lack of communication of eating something...
Just his pure stupidity is enough to be a pass for me.
Load More Replies...This man is very self centred, he took little or no notice when she told him she was vegan. If he registered the fact at all he apparently assumed that she made special non vegan dishes just for him. A great indication of how he will respect her other lifestyle choices in future.
Well, she didn't "trick" him. He ate the dishes she made and never bothered to ask her about the ingredients. If you are strongly opposed to some kinds of food, it's your responsibility to make sure that the dish you consume doesn't contain anything undesirable. Besides, he never noticed any difference, so he's totally overreacting. It's not like she was poisoning him/giving him something that was bad for his health - nobody dies from plant-based meat.
As I said, if you can't/don't want to eat something for any reason, it's your responsibility to make sure it's not in the dish you are about to eat. If he did ask er and she assured him there is no plant-based stuff in the dish - then I would understand his frustration.
Load More Replies...She did nothing wrong. Calling it a betrayal is almost delusional, i think. Vegan eats vegan food. She told you that she's vegan. It's not her fault you don't listen. I don't get why he's so over the top angry and even go as far as calling it a betrayal... Dude need to chill and start recognising he's the one in the wrong. Geez...
Okay she told him she was vegan what did he think she would feed him. I have a both a wheat and pork allergy guess what I don't cook with. It is often times hard to make meals with no wheat and to.get.people to not turn their nose up at them.
You know what? I'd just be glad someone had made the effort to cook something for me. People are so wary of trying different things. If it's not to your taste at least you know for next time. Give things a go!
Load More Replies..."Tricking him" would be like serving pork if he was Jewish or Muslim, or trying to add things he was allergic to. He was told (even if he didn't pay attention) that you were vegan and since you cooked and ate with him he should have known this was a vegan meal. Personally I must say I prefer "real" meat to plant based meats in steaks, but most ground meats, saussages, burgers and so on can easily be replaced by legumes. Not nuts though, since I'm allergic ;)
OMFG i am huuuge meat eated, but i find his behavior soo stupid. You liked it and now you cry? She said she is vegan, what did you expect - pork? He is acting as a kid
When I read the header I was going to say the woman was the AH, but reading her post she hasn't tricked him, he just ate what she served. I personally would have a big problem if I would have to go vegan as I cannot eat nuts and dairy and hardly any things like beans and peas, but if he has no such issues, he is just whining. It's not like she forced him to eat food stuffs he cannot digest.
Ditto. There's no trickery here. How he can eat at a vegan's house and not assume she was cooking vegan food is just beyond me. Is he really that naive?
Load More Replies...For me the red flag is his indifferent reaction to her telling him she is vegan. If he had actually paid attention to what she had told him, then he would have realised she would be cooking vegan food. His reaction was over the top and childish. And I say this as an avid omnivore!
Is this dude stupid??? How are you shocked that all the food that you at a known VEGANS house had no meat? Like OMG!
"You didn't tell me there was meat in the food" is a problem. "You didn't tell me there was no meat in the food" is not. Not everything a non-vegan eats has meat in it. Unless he has some odd belief that all his food needs meat, he's totally wack.
The guy's a Richard-Edward! I think they should find someone with more intelligence. It's basic common sense, if you date someone that has a cat, you'll get cat hairs on your clothes! If you date a smoker, they will smell of smoke. If you date a vegan, they will cook fecking vegan food.
I'm just amazed at how low this woman's expectation is for a man. If this is called a great relationship...... gosh..... The least you could expect from your partner is listening and understanding. And this one got none. Yet she still thinks she's just not gonna spend NY with him.... girl, don't spend any more TIME with him.
Seems like the old joke isn't really accurate: "How do you tell if someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you". Or in this case "How do you tell if someone is vegan? Eat at their house for 3 months and maybe you'll finally figure it out by watching food shows together".
I don't think the meat is the problem here. He showed no interest in you being vegan and then had a tantrum because, shock horror, you eat vegan food. This is not the behavior of a person who genuinely cares about you and this is his 'out'. If you tolerate this behavior be prepared to relent every time he has a stupid tantrum because he wasn't listening to you in the first place.
I can't believe she actually tried to make up to him! He's a childish idiot who made no pretense of ever listening to a thing she said... she is so much better off without him. If he compared eating vegan food in the home of a vegetarian or vegan to being "tricked" into eating meat, it seems to me that he is about as contemplative as a tantruming 2 year old. I'm just sad for the next person he hooks up with.
Over my near 60 years, I've been a chef, a cook, a gourmand and a culinary explorer. I've basically eaten, in one form or another, 90% of things you can actually eat on this earth. This is not bragging. Some of it was terrible. Anthony Bourdain was and is a hero of mine. Here's the thing - a huge amount of it was vegan and vegetarian. I have traveled with, lived with, am related to, vegans et al. This guy is immature and some sort of narcissist. A tiny bump to his ego is equivalent (in his mind) to a deceptive betrayal - feeding hidden meat to an avowed vegan. This relationship will become toxic. Soon.
She mentioned she was vegan and he said "oh cool" and never discussed it again. She brought up a dealbreaker on the first date and it went in one ear and out the other - I think that's the source of this entire rift. They need to rewind and actually have this conversation ASAP.
Brother needs to understand what being an omnivore means: We can eat all food, vegan, vegetarian, halal, kosher, gluten free, dairy free, organic, palio, keto, alcohol, bbq, and every ethnic food Its all ours and everything else too.
If you have a vegan partner, shouldn't you know that they don't eat meat at all? Strange guy, acting in a childish manner when you discover that it isn't meat, you were enjoying it before. Is he that dense or when she was talking it came through one ear and went out the other
You can't be an AH for not answering a question that wasn't asked. Did he actually think a vegan was keeping meat on hand to feed her boyfriend? Did he not notice she was eating the same things she was serving him? He's mad because he got caught out being dumb, and he's trying to make it her fault.
I was all ready to say YTA because I absolutely hate when people's food is tampered with. But this? NTA. He didn't notice you were always eating the same dishes? Never went to the fridge for something and saw no meat? This is on him for lack of logical thinking. But maybe for the next boyfriend just say 'so obviously this isn't meat' first time you cook for him. Will save you a lot of time.
Dump that idiot. Not because he is eating meat, but he is an ignorant asshole, who never really listened to you. And if he is acting so in the first "honeymoon-months" of your relationship, things will get only worse with time.
Let me see if I understand. She tells him she's vegan. He completely ignores her/doesn't listen in the early "getting to know you" part of the relationship. They have been dating 3.5 months and he has never noticed or paid attention to the fact that she doesn't eat meat. She cooks for him multiple times. He likes the food. He clearly has never cooked for her (she would not have eaten any meat he prepared) or ever helped her in the kitchen while she is cooking for him (he would have seen she doesn't use meat). He's bashing the very non-meat food that she eats without even realizing it (see: completely ignores her/doesn't listen). He finds out that's what he's been eating (and enjoying) while she has been cooking for him (without him ever offering to help). And then, because he ate food that didn't have meat in it, says she owes him an apology and punishes her by not speaking to her. And O.P. thinks this is a good relationship? That really breaks my heart for her on so many levels.
NTA. He doesn't truly see or listen to you. You told him you were vegan, he didn't listen. After that he just sat down and expected you to do all the cooking and serve him meals while he sets up his little playtime. Then when you pointed out you had told him you were vegan, thus he should have known every meal you prepare/eat will always be vegan, he got angry and gaslighted you that you had lied to him. I've been in this relationship, it will not end well. So many red flags of immaturity, disinterest in you, gaslighting, guilting, manipulation......RUN. NOW.
You would of been the asshole if you actually tricked him but if someone told me they were vegan and I went to their house to eat I would not expect a meat dish. At the end of the day who cares? You don’t have to be a vegan to eat vegan food, sometimes I buy vegan cheese with regular cheese cause it’s tasty. It’s food. This is a stupid thing to fight over. Tell your boyfriend he is being stupid that he ate a bunch of healthy food and didn’t know it wasn’t real meat and if he wants a burger he can go get a burger and live his life. Not a big deal. These are not real problems.
I don't think jts a great relationship. 4 months jn get out while you can
He ate it, didn't find any issues. I think the food now tastes bad because he felt deceived due to communication gap. If there were instances where he did complain about the food, then MAYBE it could have been what the issue was. Maybe he just didn't complain even when he felt the difference and put up with it since he presumed it to be some bad cooking, and now that he knew it was fake meat, it might have made his sacrifice meaningless. His ego is hurt. Either way, he has to grow above it.
This man said he hates vegan food that looks like meat. This man is so embarrased that he actually enjoyed the vegan food, and is way too proud to admit it. So now hes blaming her for tricking him. Such a huge asshole...
He sounds like one of those Bros who walk around with an unwashed a**e because touching butts is gay.
Yta some people are allergic to meat alternatives. Also if you mention something once he might not remember it. You should have told him.
My sister & her family are all vegan and it's never once been a problem making dinner for them. I make a delicious Spaghetti Bolognese and just serve Italian sausages on the side, or we'll have "build your own" Greek salads where everything is in separate bowls (feta & salami, etc) with lots of veggies to choose from, some hummus & Naan. Never been an issue. The BF is a petulant little b*tch and needs to be dumped immediately.
I don't agree with tampering with someone else's food. However, he should have known she's a vegan, and, he never clearly specified that there are foods that he won't eat. This time he's the problem. This is not her tricking him into eating something he's made clear he won't eat. This is him not listening to his girlfriend and caring about what she says, and about the things that are important to her.
This is an aside from the article but I think needs to be said. I dont inherently think the woman is an asshole but you should ALWAYS inform someone when using a plant based meat substitute. Soy, nut, and pea allergies are actually REALLY common. I'm lactose intolerant and have an allergy to cashews. I always ask about meat substitutes because it could potentially really hurt me.
Fellow person with a cashew allergy here! 👋 Yes, this scares me about vegan food. I love vegetarian/vegan food, but I have to triple check for tree nuts, which is what gives a lot of the products the thickness and creaminess of dairy. Anyway, I think it's up to the guest to check that the food doesn't contain any applicable allergens, not up to the host to list every single ingredient. I wonder if she asked him about allergies in general first.
Load More Replies...She didn't trick him, he didn't listen to her. But there is miscommunication between the two. And you really should check before feeding someone something. Vegan diet is not for everyone, not because of taste, but because of allergies (to soja based products or wheat based products) and also metabolic diseases that makes it dangerous.
His reaction is way too extreme and he's a terrible listener. People defending the vegan lifestyle need to remember that vegan replacements like impossible meat and beyond meat are heavily processed though and not healthy. A healthy vegan diet would not involve any meat substitutes, it would just include natural stuff, like you know...fruits, vegetables, grains
Annoying people who hate these kinds of things? I don't know - it's about validation probably. I don't like everything posted on Bored Panda. Seems easier to just not bother with the ones that aren't to my taste. If you comment, even negatively, all you do is give them more reason to post similar articles. It means the topic got attention, that's great from Bored Panda's perspective. They can count your comment when selling the site to advertisers and so forth after all.
Load More Replies...If you go to a person's house for a meal you surely tell them that you are allergic to soy based things? If not, that's on you and not them. This man didn't have a food issue he was just being a prat about veganism.
Load More Replies...Not strange at all. There are moral implications in eating meat. There are no moral implications in eating plants that I'm aware of. No allergies are mentioned, no genuine food restrictions that he might have so he's not refusing for health-based reasons. The majority of the meat trade is pretty grim. Eating meat that is humanely reared and slaughtered can be good enough for some people but not for others. These are choices people make. He's being a pillock.
Load More Replies...She said she was vegan. It's pretty stupid to think she would cook and eat non-vegan meals. You normally don't assume people are that dumb.
Load More Replies...How is the homeless man's example similar? It is illegal to feed something that isn't meant to be eaten - in this instance the toothpaste! Don't mistake the two. If the homeless man had been fed Oreo's with an edible substance such as a carob filling, say, instead of chocolate that would not have been against the law, carob is edible. Toothpaste isn't food. If the homeless man had said 'oh, I'm allergic to carob' and they pretended it wasn't in the food THAT would also be wrong. If the boyfriend had said 'I'm allergic to certain plants/vegetables used in 'fake' meat'' and she ignored him that would be wrong, but he didn't and wasn't. The onus is on him to make that aspect clear if it exists. Then for her to keep the food safe for him to eat. Food allergies are a very serious issue and people know what they are allergic to usually and have to keep themselves safe. She wasn't cooking anything that he said he couldn't eat or that wasn't actual food.
Load More Replies...I'm guessing she's not cooking every meal for him. Swapping a few meals a week to vegan is not going to have any negative health effects, likely the opposite.
Load More Replies...Utter and complete rubbish. It is nothing to do with the sex of either person. It is purely that one person didn't pay attention when the other said they were a vegan. Then this person tried to pretend that 'tricking' (aka just serving up what was being cooked in front of them) someone into eating plants is somehow the same as if the other had been tricked into eating meat. Meat which one person is morally opposed to. This man isn't morally opposed to eating plants ffs! He hasn't any food issues that he came out with and she ignored. She told him she was a vegan, he didn't pay attention to her or what he was eating.
Load More Replies...A burger is defined a flat round cake of a savoury ingredient, typically minced beef that is fried or grilled and served in a split bun or roll with various condiments and toppings. A burger does not have to be meat, it can also be made using other savoury ingredients such as legumes. If burger is just the default then why do variations like beef burger, turkey burger etc. already exists as specific versions?
Load More Replies...What if we removed 'vegan'.... I told my boyfriend when we first started dating that I really loved pumpkin and liked to put it in everything. He didn't really comment or say anything about liking pumpkin. He comes to my house a few nights a week and I cook dinner and I always cook with pumpkin because its my favorite. He has always eaten the meals and seemed to enjoy them. He has never commented on the pumpkin content. The other night we were watching a show and he commented that he really hates pumpkin. I was confused because he had been eating my pumpkin every time. Now he is saying I betrayed him because I fed him pumpkin and is demanding an apology....... yeah. Its as dumb as it sounds.
Load More Replies...She could have prepared two separate dishes? What the actual F?
Load More Replies...If he can't work out that a vegan isn't going to cook meat he's being a twit. I agree he dismissed it because he wasn't interested (what a prize catch) but the rest is on him for not taking time to join the, very easy to join, dots. Though being made an offence to hide meat free - isn't that just on selling food and being clear about the ingredients which would be perfectly reasonable in all instances. Not sure if it would apply to people in their own homes serving up food to friends.
Load More Replies...There is no "situation would be reversed". He never mentioned a dietary restriction. If he had stated that he doesn't eat legumes, and then she cooked him legumes without telling him, that would obviously be very unacceptable. Did she feed him something that was a restriction for him? No, she did not.
Load More Replies...No, if the boyfriend had specific allergies, that would be up to him to tell ANYONE who is cooking for him. She never lied about anything she was cooking.
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