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Bride-To-Be Sets Out ‘Requirements’ For Her Guests That Are So Ridiculous, Her Brother Decided Not To Attend
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Bride-To-Be Sets Out ‘Requirements’ For Her Guests That Are So Ridiculous, Her Brother Decided Not To Attend

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Weddings are celebrations of love, life, and laughter. They can also be incredibly expensive to host, so it’s only natural that some happy couples want everything to go perfectly. If you’re spending tens (and possibly even hundreds) of thousands of dollars on something, you want a proper event that’s going to leave a lasting impression. But the material things—though important—pale in comparison to the soft stuff that really matters: family, friends, and delicious cake.

However, not everyone’s able to embrace the idea that something might go awry during their wedding. They need everything, absolutely everything, to be P-E-R-F-E-C-T. So much so that they go a bit off the rails. Case in point, one man told the AITA community how he decided not to attend his sister’s wedding at all due to how ridiculous the ‘requirements’ for her guests were.

Check out the redditor’s story below, Pandas. Let us know what you think of the whole family/wedding/materialism drama. Oh, and we’d love to hear all about your recent wedding experiences, too. Have you been to any celebrations of love this year? What did you love and loathe the most about them? Drop by the comment section and let us get you a slice of cake and a glass of whatever you enjoy the most.

Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at The Wedding Society, shared their thoughts on the dynamic between couples and their guests with Bored Panda. Scroll down to read what they had to say.

Some brides want to control every tiny little thing and even go as far as micromanaging their guests

Image credits: JudahArt (not the actual photo)

One man shared how he reacted when he realized his sister, the bride-to-be, made a massive list of requirements for everyone attending

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Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

Can we just take a moment and acknowledge how on-point the OP’s throwaway account username, u/MoneyMoneyMoney300, is considering how hyperfocused his sister is on the superficial and the material? Ok, good.

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Though the story is a few years old, the discussion itself is timeless. The post touches upon some of the most important wedding-related issues. How we can’t expect to be able to control everything that happens during the celebration (though we might want to and, heck, we might even try!). How we can’t see the forest for the trees because minor details irk us so much. And how we sometimes ask too much from people without realizing it because we care far too much about what we want and our appearances.

Relaxing a bit, learning to go with the flow, showing flexibility, and finding fun and even joy in the unexpected are all things that make life special. Trying to control every aspect of a wedding is akin to trying to tame Nature and her forces. You can’t dictate how others will react or feel during the ceremony and reception. You can’t prohibit people from taking photos of your special day. And you certainly can’t demand that all the guys will shave off their beards and that the women can’t have hair longer than their shoulders (unless they wear them in ponytails). That’s the kind of soulless micromanagement you’d expect in a semi-dystopian corporation, not an event celebrating the union of two souls.

Don’t get us wrong, some structure is fine. Heck, you can even have a dress code and ask the guests to wear a certain range of colors or materials. But you cannot expect that everyone will adhere to these rules (there’s bound to be at least one maverick at every wedding) or that each individual is willing to put in the time, energy, and money to match your expectations.

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Anna and Sarah, from The Wedding Society, were kind enough to answer our questions about what couples can do to ensure they’re not asking too much of their guests, as well, how they can focus less on the superficial details of the wedding, and how much money guests ‘should’ bring the happy couple.

“Couples can ask trusted close friends and family whether they’re being reasonable with their request. Be prepared to take on honest feedback and adjust your expectations to be guided by what you hear from those you rely on,” Anna, from The Wedding Society, explained to us.

“It’s hard not to get caught up in the details of the day but it’s important to remember that when it’s all happening, it’s really not going to matter very much to you. After it’s all over, you’ll remember the feel of the day and not the minute details,” they shared.

According to Anna and Sarah, there’s “no real formula” for the right amount of money that guests ought to gift a marrying couple.

“The best etiquette is to try and cover your own expenses for the event as well as a little extra if your budget allows,” the wedding industry experts said.

“At the end of the day, gifts should be meaningful and authentic rather than meeting the expectations of the couple. If the couple are disappointed, it may not actually be your fault.”

A study conducted by The Knot found that the average cost of attending a wedding as a guest in 2021 was $460. That’s around $30 more than in 2019. Local weddings cost less (~$270) because guests saved on transportation and lodgings. However, going to out-of-town events cost $660 on average.

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If you had to fly, you’d spend an average of $1,270. Wedding gifts cost around $160 and they’re all a part of this number. So with prices like these, adding more and more requirements for the guests can end up making them realize that it might just not be worth attending the wedding at all. And things are only getting more expensive in 2022 as inflation soars.

The AITA crowd mostly thought that the OP didn’t do anything wrong by skipping out on his sister’s wedding. After all, it was pretty clear that the woman valued money far more than the company of her family and friends. Though who knows, maybe in the three years since the wedding, the sister has become a totally different person and has learned what to prioritize. We like to be optimistic.

Here’s how some the people who read the story reacted to the wedding drama



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faithhurst-bilinski avatar
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Mia D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, some requirements aren't that crazy. For example no photos allowed (especially during the ceremony) is a good one. Let me explain why. You see now everyone from age of 10 have a phone with a camera, also tablets and ipads and so on have cameras, and guests love bringing them to the weddings. However if the bride paid 5K+ and in some cases 10k+ for a pro photographers and videographers, she does want to get really good pictures, however in a lot of cases it is impossible because 100+people are taking photos too: they stand up, get in front of pro photographers, they use flashes and so on. Let's face it there are thousands stories out there where photos of the ceremony were ruined by guests with their phones!

randolph_croft avatar
Randolph Croft
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A simple photo-guide would work wonders. I've encountered them many times, as I'm a travel photographer and have sometimes gotten the 'money shot' at parades, ceremonies, etc. But a guide would tell me what's safe and what's not. And as you mention, everyone has a camera. Most annoying is someone with a phone in the frame of the happy couple. That needs to stop.

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ashleeking avatar
Rabbit-Of-ill-Portent️
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not going to last. Holy mother of god this is indeed a horrible way to start your life with someone.

lillukka79 avatar
Lillukka79
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was my thought too. He can attend her next wedding, maby she'll calmed down by then.

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colintimp avatar
Colin Timp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have NEVER met one single person that had a big wedding and thought the expense was worth it a year later. Too many women put too much stock in the idea of it being "their day," or wanting to be a princess for a day. If that's the way you're starting your marriage, odds are it's not going to last long. It's about BOTH of you. My wife and I got married at city hall and it will be 25 years in December. We have never regretted not having a big wedding.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother did the huge wedding (it was more important to her parents and they paid for it) and I did the small, intimate one. Mine was after his and he said he would've done what I did had he had a choice. I hired a wedding coordinator in Hawaii where it was and basically chose a venue, a menu and just showed up. It was a great time for everyone.

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snowfoxrox avatar
Whitefox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ROFLMAO!!! We got married this past Halloween! We kept it very small...We invited everyone to wear their halloween costumes, and no presents necessary, just having them there was enough for us! Not one single person dressed up!! They all showed up church casual! I was a Dark Jedi, my fiancé was the Mandalorian, the Officiant was Darth Vader and an RC Grogu operated by my nephew was our ring bearer! We had an amazing time and just celebrated it with our family! This is lady is insane!!

mbbookkeeping avatar
deson avatar
Deson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It's her day" .... huh ... I always felt that weddings were about BOTH the Bride and the Groom not just the Bride.

geth1138 avatar
Impetus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Realistically? Any time I'm wearing clothes that are more than my entire paycheck it's kinda my day.

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htodaizzle avatar
h to da izzle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree on the no photos allowed rule but the Rest seems way out of touch. I'd never shave by beard that i spent cultivating and taking care of for years

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine turning up to a supposed friends wedding and they send you home because you have a beard or didn't tie up your hair. Absolutely bizarre. Colours - maybe they don't want anyone wearing the same tie as the wedding party, and not taking photos is fine. I was pissed off when I saw a photo of my sister's wedding on facebook before she'd had a chance to post a photo herself. People do post too much stuff just to show others they weren't sitting at home all weekend. Now, not talking to the bride or groom alone??!! That one is kinda scary. What the hell is that about?

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renestuder avatar
René Studer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can we please stop teaching little girls that their wedding is their special day? It’s a celebration of two people in love. It’s a simple party. Nothing more.

barbaraluter avatar
Babsywabs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too many people have forgotten that it's supposed to be about the 'marriage' and not the 'wedding'. This is ONE day. It isn't a pageant, it is the joining of two people for (hopefully) the rest of their lives. That so many brides view it as their personal "it's all about ME' day is quite sad. LW is right not to attend, IMHO.

mischeviousme avatar
Jennifer Muller
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Send the $250 in a card with "Best Wishes" bc you can come to her next wedding. If her groom thinks this is the only crazy he will see of her he's wrong.

mollywhuppie avatar
generally_happy avatar
similarly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know, right? My wife and I spent less than $300 on our wedding. Of course, that was almost 30 years ago ...

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jennikeestra avatar
Jennik
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people have completely lost sight of what weddings are meant to be about. Sure, I get that people want the day to be special and part of that is the (over)prettification of everything. But aren't weddings really meant to be about friends and family celebrating a couple's marriage vows in whatever type of ceremony is meaningful to them? Not that I really understand why people make such a big deal out of weddings - my partner and I have been happily not-married for 35 years because ceremonies aren't important to me.

geth1138 avatar
Impetus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My requirements for a perfect wedding: the groom showed up, so did the minister, everything got signed and we were married at the end of it. Bonus, I didn't twist my ankle in those stupid shoes. The delicious cake was all I needed to put it over the top. And no, we didn't freeze the top and try to eat it a year later, that's super gross.

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rangerkanootsen avatar
Ranger Kanootsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't go. I can't really talk though, I don't have family and also I'm poor.

sutonoyonatan avatar
Yonatan Sutono
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know mate, but my father always thought me, that if you run a party the you have to pay it by yourself, don't expect any gift or money, since the appearance of the guest is a sign of their respect to us.

malcolmrutledge avatar
Completely Hatstand
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You can always go to her next wedding. This one isn't going to last.

geth1138 avatar
Impetus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Three years ago? All these rules *and* nobody can be alone with the bride or groom? Oh, yeah, this marriage is already over.

cvisscher avatar
Cecile Visscher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never understand why weddings are made into these ridiculous stressfests. My husband and I took our family to cityhall and then to a restaurant for a diner (17 guests). I wore a simple dress (80€) and we had a great day with no stress. We have been married for over 20 years now and no regrets!

silverskycloud avatar
SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

whats the problem with the no photos? i dont want to spend a fortune on a photographer only for people to shove in front of them and ruin the work that I have paid them for

philblanque avatar
phil blanque
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would go and not follow the rules. I would dress nicely and be polite, and I would bring a modest gift...just like any other wedding. And if they made me leave, they would have to live with that embarrassment forever, because I would remind them of it at every opportunity.

giulia-arrigoni21 avatar
Emmydearest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah what they're gonna do? Call security? Call the cops? Making a scene in front of everyone (that, considering the bridezilla, is possible 😏)? Like go anyway, it's your sister's wedding (normally i'd say "it's once in a lifetime" but in this case I'm pretty sure it'll be not).

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storm_and_baby avatar
Lisa T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The point of a wedding is to CELEBRATE in a JOYOUS occasion with family and friends. At my wedding, I wanted everyone to enjoy themselves and also feel comfortable. My bridesmaids picked their own dresses and chose what colour. It was so laid back with no rules, no set time for cake cutting, dance, speeches etc. It was also affordable. 31 years later and people still tell us it was the best wedding they’d ever been to

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless you are a royal, there is no need for so many rules. And honestly I am quite sure that even royals would not go so far as to insist on no facial hair!

helentart1980 avatar
Gemma jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly why do they make it like it’s a big deal. It’s one day My wedding we booked the registrar the restaurant. My husband got a suit and I got a dress for fifty quid it’s not even a wedding dress it’s a party dress I can wear any time. The cake was sixty. I said to people come or not your choice gift optional. Whole thing cost about two grand. It’s one day.

alicewiedrick avatar
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So if I read that correctly, each person has to give a gift valued 300 or more or they cant attend. I don't like that idea. It makes it seem like she values her gifts more than her guests and family. Yes it's your special day but your guests arent rich robots

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was looking for a serious payday instead of celebrating their marriage. Ugly woman~~I hope the man runs *before* the even uglier event!

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glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. What if everyone just attended how they want to go as with a cheap gift. LOL. I'd go just to see everyone be turned away and she'll have no one at HER wedding. Weddings are not just about the bride. It's about the groom and bride and groom's family and close friends coming together. If she wants a day where she can be the main character she can do that on her birthday. If it's a lavish wedding where family is shelling out big bucks, then the bride and groom better be keeping it a fair playing field.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Bridezilla~B***h will be separated in six months and divorced in about a year. I hope all the guests save their hair & beards, plus money and skip out on this shallow farce.

pennylost avatar
Penny Lost
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Yes, I am an a*****e. Now that we are clear on that, off you go, enjoy your wedding." Boom! Done.

fakeslashdash6 avatar
Jason Melvil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is anyone keeping count here? Seriously aren't almost all of these AITA threads are about weddings?

alexaspernelson avatar
Philler Space
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give her $0.01 in cryptocurrency and just shrug that it must have devalued when you bought it for $300.

roserosee avatar
Rosie Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sister is holding people hostage in the oddest way. She's trying to control every single little thing and frankly this is not normal. For the brother's sanity he should not go. His parents are also wrong to give into her mean entitled behaviour.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone worth their time would NOT affiliate with this union, I've known a few Priests who would decline to marry this type of couple. My son got married on a day that 13+ inches of snow fell in Mn. in the middle of April. The fellow who married them had a 'sermon'/ speech ready, but there was a piece that he 'riffed' during it. Along the line of " you have experienced a situation that helped define how you deal with 'life', you regrouped and moved on with the event. You have an advantage over your peers, that you can look at each other and know how you will react and solve issues that come up on short notice, how you handled today is what you will be able to do in the future". If it is all drama, no compromise, expect that in the most dealings. The smarter folks will 'nope out' quickly, and not wait til it becomes more complicated. Red flags don't need to be ignored. Cheaper to nope out then the messy break-up.

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caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like those people who come up with ridiculous rules for their weddings, are under impression that everyone just dreams about attending their wedding and would do literally anything to deserve the place there. So I hope it will flatten their heads a little bit when at least some of the guests read those "rules" and say "You know what, I don't actually want to go to your wedding that much"

ivyruonakoski avatar
Ivy la Sangrienta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would GROW facial hair just for the occasion! Or glue some on, since I'm female.

blackdog8911 avatar
Della
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is your sister Cinderella? No? Ok skip it. Tell mom and dad to respect your decision. Tell your nutty sister to have a good wedding.

lizmolloy1969 avatar
Elizabeth Molloy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had both sets of parents, with 2 weeks' notice and strict instructions to tell no-one, at our local register office. Reception at a pub which did food, honeymoon 2-hour drive to the coast. Simple, cheap and lovely! 29 years this October.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Calling your wedding day "This stressful time" is indeed a HUGE red flag. Yes, planning a wedding is stressful, but there should also be a lot of joy over marrying someone you love. It sounds more like they are planning a funeral for a loved family member.

boredpanda_127 avatar
Allie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who have this many rules for their guests have clearly lost sight of what the purpose of a wedding actually is. It's about committing to another person for life. It's not about aesthetics. I would not attend a wedding if I was presented a list of rules. I once went to a wedding where a list of rules for the guests was read out by the officiant just before she began the ceremony. It included which hashtag we must use if we were posting photos on social media. The list of rules was obnoxious.

joann-f avatar
Jo Firth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd accept the invitation but not provide the requisite gift. Choice is then his sister's whether or both he gets a seat at the reception. This will show who is the real arsehole.

napalm-glop avatar
Rod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fly you fool!!!! Seriously, this is worse than a parody. You see this in a movie and you think this is not realistic.Your sister should not see a priest but a shrink....

pebs_1 avatar
pebs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that, for some women, the organization of marriage is the event that makes an obsessive-complusive disorder evident.

tabithamartel avatar
Tabitha Martel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We spent less than $1000 on our wedding 11 years ago. It was perfect. We had a great time and have zero regrets. While I try not to judge other peoples choices I, like some others, have to say that when I see someone spending this much on a wedding and those ridiculous requirements I wonder if the marriage is the best idea at all.

dkjzone avatar
Kai
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only spent $1,000 and there were no gift requirements. Love and happiness made it a great wedding

waril-debbie avatar
loona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IF you go you risk the rest of your life being dictated by this persons "difficult times". Make a contact group with other guests and simply override her demands, as you want to show your presence as support in her difficult times.

npok03 avatar
Dylan Toeback
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else notice that the Reddit post they’re talking about is 3 years old? Interesting topic but weird that it’s so old. I wonder what happened.

bettylou avatar
Betty Lou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life is too short, don’t go! She even referred to the wedding as a stressful time. F**k that.

sethnowai avatar
Seth NoWai
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I can get some rules, like no photos allowed, since you want people to be there in the moment and you pay for professional photographer and don't want people to get in the way. Though simple guidelines would be better suited, like jeeping no photos nore in lines of certain parts of the ceremony, but fine for portions you are just having fun with guests. Color matching is kind of l fine too, if done right,again more like guidelines to exactly that one thing and no diviation. But some things like facial hair, hair and so on are just ridiculous. Topped with gift requirement. That is just disrespectful. And if your wedding is very sresfull, them you need yp take some time for self reflection and rethink your life. Yes wedding is big day and can be a lot of work, but if it us full of stress, then you are overdoing it and maybe need to step back and rentink your wishes. You might be over exaggerating a lot trying to micromanage and try forming that perfect event.

michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you really love your sister, do her a big favor at this life-changing moment in her life - don't go.

always2bfaithful avatar
DDmaybeandor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, family last a lifetime and a wedding lasts a day. That advice can be applied to both sides of this argument, which is why I think that now that you’ve said your peace, you should just go and get it over with. You are without a doubt in the right, and you did the right thing by letting her know in no uncertain terms that she is alienating people and has her priorities wrong. Good for you! I just think when it comes down to it, this will not last forever and obviously you’re strong enough to stand up for yourself if this behavior becomes a pattern lasting longer than the wedding.

dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I certainly wouldn't go. Dropping 50k on a wedding and then having the nerve to require everyone to give you an expensive gift?

sandyd avatar
Sandy D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would tell her she 8s both greedy and insane, and I wouldn't attend even if I was her mother. I would tell her it's appalling to require wedding guest to cut off their face or head hair. And to demand a specific value of gift or amount of cash is plain old disgusting. She's going to alienate both of their families and all their friends. It's neyond rude and ridiculous, and shows the bride is completely clueless and entirely self absorbed and extremely immature. And spending over $50k is a huge waste of the par money. Honestly, nobody should show up. The marriage is almost certain to fail anyway

nuggetwalther avatar
Fickle_Pickle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Late to the party but here’s my take: NTA. I would say tho that I’ll be attending the divorce party bc I don’t think the groom have the patience of a saint to put up with her c**p.

blt_lilred avatar
Ron Short
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This way you won't be expected to babysit when she starts having kids!

melaine010903 avatar
Emeq-kuh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only part that makes sense is no one taking pictures except the photographer, and that's cuz a good portion of them are putting it in their contract. My brother-in-law paid for the photographer at our wedding, and she had that same clause. I only found out later in the day when she threw a fit over my husband's aunt taking pictures on a disposable camera. The funny part is his aunt, at 80 years old with no training, got better photos than the paid professional. Ugh.

poisonblackmaharet avatar
Darleen Marie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I would definitely not go. But, if his parents are willing to pay for his gift. I would go just for the wedding cake. If the wedding is that expensive. The cake must be super delicious. I would go for food and drinks. If she were my sister and it's her wedding. I would avoid her at the event. Just eat and drink. I can be very petty. But, since everyone insist me going. I would actually be an AH.

delilahevil avatar
Delilah Evil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who the f**k is opening presents before the wedding? These people are gross. Your wedding is the most important day of your life, but you are still hosting a party. No photos sure. Dress code absolutely. Hair? F**k you

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uhm...not being able to talk to the bride or groom alone...that sends up red flags for me. Is she specifically trying to hide something from the future husband? Did she send out this email without his knowledge? I would have a side chat with the groom to find out if he is aware of this email going out.

front_runner avatar
Front_Runner
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Phoney, like all of the rest of these stories. There's no way you live a normal life, and then surprise your family with ridiculous demands like that. You're either full on psycho all the time, or you would never ask for all of those things like that

codyhill avatar
Cody Hill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feel sorry for the Groom most of all. Anyone this controlling over the wedding is probably controlling over the relationship I wouldn't feel bad about missing this wedding cause it likely won't be the bride's last one.

tonygonzalez avatar
Tony Gonzalez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering how difficult, selfish and materialistic she is with complete disregard of how much her parents and to-be in-laws have invested in this wedding, and how she prioritizes gifts over family and friends, this will be a short lived marriage. The groom, once his rose colored glasses come off, will be struggling to find an equitable way out. You know her demands will only escalate.

geordiemcdougall avatar
GMc
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

$300 gift certificate for a divorce lawyer (for him) would be my gift.

njonjondehi avatar
Njonjo Ndehi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your leisure time is scarce nowadays and therefore precious. Do NOT go for such a wedding.

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand why taking photos is discouraged because people tend to get in the photographers way, but everything else is ridiculous.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And sometimes it just happens, that a guest not aware of the moment, walks in front of the couple while the photographer is framing the shot. Can be funny and candid.

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ljrobinson avatar
LJ Robinson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take the time and go. You don't have to live with her, just a few hours. Make your parents happy, do it, then get away from her. Resume your life.

rager avatar
Bruce Aitchison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brides these days are just so way off this planet. They only think of themselves and no one else not even the groom. I'm the bride it's " MY " wedding you'll do as I say or else. Imagine what she is going to be like as a wife. Poor husband.

marymassey avatar
Mary Massey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My guess this high maintenance chick won’t be married long. She’s already displayed unreasonable immature behavior. She’s selfish, self-centered and again immature. If she was micromanaging a wedding means she she’s not a good manager at or of anything else. She’s a bully and thinks by being a bully she’ll get her way. Am I wrong?

learalou31 avatar
Leara Bridges Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the parents are the reason she acts like this!! Created a monster

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His parents was talking bad about her going off about the wrong shade of white napkins. I guess they didn't tell her how ridiculous she sounded at that point. For them to pay the amount they paid already and still is about to buy the gift for the brother; smh I guess they don't tell her no at all. They created that monster. My daughter is so into wanting everything to be perfect but if things don't go perfect I make sure she sees the bigger picture and it calms her down. I let her know that the only thing you can control is yourself. You can't control other people and it's how you word things for people to respect you. Now my daughter put in her invitation for her baby shower about gifts how everyone bringing a gift for the baby shower or putting money on an item she wants from Amazon. I had her reword it by saying that she is registered at Amazon and she has some items on there that she set up just incase someone who wants to get something for the baby and their funds are tight ri

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right now they can put money onto that item as low as $5. Right there it helps people not feel force to get a gift and not feel bad because they can't afford something right now.

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Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don''t understand why people want a grand wedding and make it the most basic stereotypical s**t ever, with a white dress, white napkins and white tall cake. If you want a big wedding, at least make it unique and truly unforgettable. no?

garyfrench avatar
Solidhog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is the reason we have to put "caution! hot water" signs on hot taps.

jan_hoot avatar
Jan Hooten
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were having or paying for a wedding in this day and age, the only requirement I would have would be no jeans/at least business casual dress for attendees. (Unless it is specified to be a “blue jeans casual” event). I really do think it’s horribly disrespectful that people routinely wear jeans to weddings and funerals.

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here is an idea. If you want your wedding guests to look picture perfect according to your unrealistic Instagram standards, go hire movie extras for your wedding instead!

nandinabee avatar
Skeeter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that because you are her brother, you should go. That is the only reason. Let your parents buy the gift for you, she will know that you didn't buy it and probably won't care given her level of selfish entitlement. Then, sit back and watch the show. Roll your eyes at will. It would be interesting to know how many invitees respectfully decline. I see a massive meltdown in the near future and a divorce within the year.

sheila_stamey avatar
Sheila Stamey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In this case I don't think the massage will last that long with the money thing. That's a red flag. If one is willing to drive loved ones into indebtedness, and beg for cash as admittance, then you are not going into the marriage with healthy money management experience. That is a killer for even great marriages.

saywyn avatar
Panda Who Mumbles, Constantly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

50k for a wedding, that is basically over in a day? Why? Why not spend the money as down payment for a place instead?

leeann_1 avatar
Lee-Ann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wedding (27+) years ago was filled with friends and my dress was a whopping 100 bucks. The entire thing cost less than 5k and it was awesome. Oh and the photos are in the closet gathering dust cause we love in the now and not the then.

madmcqueen avatar
Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go to the service at the church. Skip the reception because why??!??? Demanding ties is one thing. Making people cut their hair is another. Oh it's two inches too long? Ponytails on grandma? No. Cash or gift or gtfo? They gonna check envelopes of guests to see if a gift is in there? Wtf. Buy some fake money an give them that if u HAVE to go to keep the piece. Or a check for $2.50 that looks like $250. Lol. If you're in the wedding party that is your gift. Not all this drama. Parents should have put their feet down. It's their money footing this not the couple. So why should they reap all the $$? F**k I'm so over these big a*s weddings for show that end in divorces 2 years later. Eloped here. Had a reception dinner w a DJ at a venue restaurant I loved the food at. $5 k max. It was fun and everyone was happy. His side was 80% and mine 20% (bride) and I didn't care. I wanted something guests would enjoy. Not to cash grab.

petemccann avatar
DrBronxx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be interested to find out how many people decided to not go in the end.

angeldrac avatar
Stoopham McFernybabes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how these stories prompt all the comments from people boasting about how small and how little they spent on their wedding. It’s like they’ve turned it in to a competition going the other direction.

jennikeestra avatar
Jennik
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think it's "boasting", as you call it. People are showing how you can have a special day but still keep it simple, low key and low cost (to the guests as well as the couple getting married)

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Coffeemama05
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“Stressful time”? It’s one day. Yes, it’s an important day but there’s a whole life time of stressful days that are way more important than this (children, deaths, cancer diagnosis etc). I could never have those types of expectations. And if one of my kids did this at their wedding, I wouldn’t encourage this by helping out. What a nut job

irma_1 avatar
Irma
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can only understand the photo one. I did that too during the ceremony. The photographer asked us to do that cause it would be a shame if he would take pictures of the guests and all you see is the backs of phones. The rest is weird yea

bluemom2017 avatar
Pamela Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had 20 people at my wedding. It was an 11:00am wedding and we had a restaurant "back room" booked for a lovely lunch for all 20 guests. Then later that night, we had a party back at our apartment with every friend and neighbour (+ the 20) with a pot luck table. It was fabulous, inexpensive (for a wedding) and we had loads of fun!

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wedding cost $5,000 bucks with a 3 course meal and open bar. We got married in our backyard and rented the party room at the church at the end of our street for the reception, it's was great and we wouldn't have changed it for a $50,000 wedding anywhere!

lellsworth8587 avatar
Phryne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She missed a few rules: Female guests shouldn't be allowed to wear makeup, she should have body searches to make sure no one has their cell phone in case they decide to take pictures, and the "gifts" should have to have the receipt attached so she can be sure they spent the required amount and didn't buy something on sale...I'm sure I could come up with some more ridiculous rules, but those are off the top of my head.

tjmool avatar
TJ Mool
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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TJ Mool
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

chefnatebarrystein avatar
Nate Barrystein
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We surprised all the guests with the wedding. Only me and my now wife new it was happening(and the officiant).

stanflouride avatar
Stannous Flouride
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Several studies have found an inverse correlation between the expense of the wedding and how long the marriage lasts. While correlation is not causation I believe that the greed and self-centeredness that makes someone demand such things is a symptom of how committed they will be toward their partner.

djinn6969 avatar
John de la Cruz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she had a really terribly stressful wedding and nothing turned out right. I really do. People like her needs to be taught a lesson.

raymond-bille avatar
Emma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not just the bride but the groomzilla always wrote those rules since the letter said both bride and groom wish.....

ii_3 avatar
I I
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

bridzilla indeed , who makes rules like these that make guests feel like they dont want to go ? supposed to be a happy day surrounded by loved ones , not WHAT CAN I GET GIFT WISE??? yeah NTA id stay home too

lovelyotheremail avatar
Laura Elizabeth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe go to her second wedding? Or third? She might chill out by the fourth. Pick the one where you like the groom the best.

piperferrell avatar
tamèreestchaude
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im sure the bride and groom will divorce in 1 year. not that I want it for them, divorce is hard, but when you spend 50k on a wedding they tend to not work out. o.o

cheryllynn avatar
CherylLynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll just explain here that we live in Canada 🇨🇦, sorry. When my husband and I were married we told everyone it was a Canada Day celebration as well as a baptize the new deck and pool. Only stipulation? Let's make it fun and wear red and white. Some people insisted on bringing a salad, ok ... no worries. No one knew it was a wedding until I came out in a beautiful wedding gown along with our officiate. Not a dry eye in the crowd. We spent in total $1200.00 that included my dress, flowers, the officiate, steaks, chicken, homemade hamburgers, hot dogs and cake. We had a blast! In fact my new MIL was horrified that my husband didn't even have shoes on. 😊

kelley_baltierra avatar
Kelley Baltierra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as they were dressed for a wedding I could care less what colors they wore...or hairstyles for that matter. And as far as putting a minimum price on gifts, that's ridiculous. I did my best to make sure I had at least a dj, decent food, and a cake and I was happy with how my wedding turned out. Handmade my bridesmaids dresses btw to save a little money too and I didn't want 'ugly' dresses. I was happy with all my gifts even the super cheap ones like flatware and such because we needed them

happychere avatar
Cherie Swain
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

MoneyoneyMoney300, I know this was a few years ago, but I’d love to know 2 things. First, how many people actually showed up?? And second, are they still happily married? Signed, Curious my email happychere@yahoo.com

joyce_monty avatar
Joyce Monty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha! Ha! Yikes!! Buy the happy couple a retainer for a divorce lawyer and mail it to them. Avoid the 'Peyton Place' wedding at all costs and just sit back and wait. Your gift will be the one they use the soonest, Im guessing.

lifeartphoto avatar
TheDivineMsM
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To call it her day and not our day already shows she is getting married for the wrong reasons. I understand weddings are a big deal for girls who have dreamt of the perfect day for so long, but it should be a union pf you and your partner, not a spotlight on the bride. Way too controlling, I'd opt out.

morachilis avatar
Mora Chilis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she lost sight of the purpose of the day. Does she have an anxiety disorder/perfectionist? ADD/ADHD? Sounds like she is manifesting a lot of pressure trying to create a perfect experience, though we live in an imperfect world. Is she ok? That's the bigger question.

fantasia1954 avatar
Bill Kotsias
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's as always the parents' fault, who have always spoiled their favourite daughter by fulfilling her childish demands like these, and never putting any limits to her

shannonrichards25 avatar
ShareMusic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember when the point of getting married was to start a new family and provide a stable home to raise children. The purpose of wedding gifts was to help set up the new household. Dishes and other kitchenware, towels, bedding, decor. Today many brides believe the point of getting married is to be princess for the day. And the purpose of gifts is to help pay for the theatrical fairy tale.

karmarose avatar
karma rose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of these requests are ridiculous especially the mandatory cash "gift" if it's mandatory it's actually a cover fee. The only rule that kind of makes sense is the no pictures one. Recently I saw a wedding picture of a bride and groom's first kiss taken from the angle next to the officiant. The picture showed the bride, groom, and the guests. Unfortunately a guest, may have been the mother of the bride, had her giant phone covering her face. It would have been nice if the photographer could have gotten her facial expression. People holding up phones ruin photos.

ma-lahann avatar
marianne eliza
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run far. Run fast. It will only get worse.

danielszabo avatar
Triv
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go, it’s a pain in the butt but, the fallout is going to be toxic. Pay the fee, but grow your beard out! Muahaha.

hmoore_1 avatar
H M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why bother? I didn't go to friends fancy day long wedding. They divorced a year later. It's ONE DAY. Save your money and have a life instead. I didn't even have a weeding, just married, signed papers, no ring, dress, nothing. Married for 43 years (partner died then)

simon_37 avatar
The IRS
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're this invested in it - you won't enjoy the wedding. Any small thing will "destroy" your day. If you're paying for it out of your own pocket - fine. Go nuts. But when you're dragging in other people and their money it's a hard sell.

jaredackerman avatar
Jared Ackerman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife and I spent $1700 on our wedding and week long honeymoon. When did wedding become so stupid to attend?

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Marigen Beltran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the OP does everything that was said NOT to do if OP decides to go.

lorih47 avatar
Lori w
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talking behind her back instead of directly to her is what's annoying me. Send her a text and politely explain instead of talking behind her back. A simple "Sorry, I won't be able to attend. I don't feel comfortable with the gift minimum/rules you have set, but I still wish congratulations to you both!" let's the bride know what's going on. Weddings are something we dream about since kids, so yes, we can get carried away. Saying yes all the time or ignoring the situation won't help. I got married 5 years ago- I didn't have any guest rules, but if anyone I invited felt uncomfortable about something, I would have appreciated them letting me know!

nick_23 avatar
Nick
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He explained the reasoning to their mother. His sister understands why he isn't going. YOU understood when people couldn't/wouldn't attend because you are a normal reasonable human being. His sister is not. She knows why he isn't attending and is still blowing up his phone. The amount of verbal abuse he would get by talking to he is not worth. I think you are delusional thinking the sister with that crazy of rules would be fine with her brother not attending for any reason.

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J. David Phillips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a fake story. And by the way, you don’t say “a email”. It’s “an email”.

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ajseverson avatar
z-houseprojects avatar
Mia D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, some requirements aren't that crazy. For example no photos allowed (especially during the ceremony) is a good one. Let me explain why. You see now everyone from age of 10 have a phone with a camera, also tablets and ipads and so on have cameras, and guests love bringing them to the weddings. However if the bride paid 5K+ and in some cases 10k+ for a pro photographers and videographers, she does want to get really good pictures, however in a lot of cases it is impossible because 100+people are taking photos too: they stand up, get in front of pro photographers, they use flashes and so on. Let's face it there are thousands stories out there where photos of the ceremony were ruined by guests with their phones!

randolph_croft avatar
Randolph Croft
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A simple photo-guide would work wonders. I've encountered them many times, as I'm a travel photographer and have sometimes gotten the 'money shot' at parades, ceremonies, etc. But a guide would tell me what's safe and what's not. And as you mention, everyone has a camera. Most annoying is someone with a phone in the frame of the happy couple. That needs to stop.

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ashleeking avatar
Rabbit-Of-ill-Portent️
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not going to last. Holy mother of god this is indeed a horrible way to start your life with someone.

lillukka79 avatar
Lillukka79
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was my thought too. He can attend her next wedding, maby she'll calmed down by then.

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colintimp avatar
Colin Timp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have NEVER met one single person that had a big wedding and thought the expense was worth it a year later. Too many women put too much stock in the idea of it being "their day," or wanting to be a princess for a day. If that's the way you're starting your marriage, odds are it's not going to last long. It's about BOTH of you. My wife and I got married at city hall and it will be 25 years in December. We have never regretted not having a big wedding.

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother did the huge wedding (it was more important to her parents and they paid for it) and I did the small, intimate one. Mine was after his and he said he would've done what I did had he had a choice. I hired a wedding coordinator in Hawaii where it was and basically chose a venue, a menu and just showed up. It was a great time for everyone.

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snowfoxrox avatar
Whitefox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ROFLMAO!!! We got married this past Halloween! We kept it very small...We invited everyone to wear their halloween costumes, and no presents necessary, just having them there was enough for us! Not one single person dressed up!! They all showed up church casual! I was a Dark Jedi, my fiancé was the Mandalorian, the Officiant was Darth Vader and an RC Grogu operated by my nephew was our ring bearer! We had an amazing time and just celebrated it with our family! This is lady is insane!!

mbbookkeeping avatar
deson avatar
Deson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It's her day" .... huh ... I always felt that weddings were about BOTH the Bride and the Groom not just the Bride.

geth1138 avatar
Impetus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Realistically? Any time I'm wearing clothes that are more than my entire paycheck it's kinda my day.

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htodaizzle avatar
h to da izzle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree on the no photos allowed rule but the Rest seems way out of touch. I'd never shave by beard that i spent cultivating and taking care of for years

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine turning up to a supposed friends wedding and they send you home because you have a beard or didn't tie up your hair. Absolutely bizarre. Colours - maybe they don't want anyone wearing the same tie as the wedding party, and not taking photos is fine. I was pissed off when I saw a photo of my sister's wedding on facebook before she'd had a chance to post a photo herself. People do post too much stuff just to show others they weren't sitting at home all weekend. Now, not talking to the bride or groom alone??!! That one is kinda scary. What the hell is that about?

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renestuder avatar
René Studer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can we please stop teaching little girls that their wedding is their special day? It’s a celebration of two people in love. It’s a simple party. Nothing more.

barbaraluter avatar
Babsywabs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too many people have forgotten that it's supposed to be about the 'marriage' and not the 'wedding'. This is ONE day. It isn't a pageant, it is the joining of two people for (hopefully) the rest of their lives. That so many brides view it as their personal "it's all about ME' day is quite sad. LW is right not to attend, IMHO.

mischeviousme avatar
Jennifer Muller
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Send the $250 in a card with "Best Wishes" bc you can come to her next wedding. If her groom thinks this is the only crazy he will see of her he's wrong.

mollywhuppie avatar
generally_happy avatar
similarly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know, right? My wife and I spent less than $300 on our wedding. Of course, that was almost 30 years ago ...

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jennikeestra avatar
Jennik
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people have completely lost sight of what weddings are meant to be about. Sure, I get that people want the day to be special and part of that is the (over)prettification of everything. But aren't weddings really meant to be about friends and family celebrating a couple's marriage vows in whatever type of ceremony is meaningful to them? Not that I really understand why people make such a big deal out of weddings - my partner and I have been happily not-married for 35 years because ceremonies aren't important to me.

geth1138 avatar
Impetus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My requirements for a perfect wedding: the groom showed up, so did the minister, everything got signed and we were married at the end of it. Bonus, I didn't twist my ankle in those stupid shoes. The delicious cake was all I needed to put it over the top. And no, we didn't freeze the top and try to eat it a year later, that's super gross.

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rangerkanootsen avatar
Ranger Kanootsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't go. I can't really talk though, I don't have family and also I'm poor.

sutonoyonatan avatar
Yonatan Sutono
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know mate, but my father always thought me, that if you run a party the you have to pay it by yourself, don't expect any gift or money, since the appearance of the guest is a sign of their respect to us.

malcolmrutledge avatar
Completely Hatstand
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You can always go to her next wedding. This one isn't going to last.

geth1138 avatar
Impetus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Three years ago? All these rules *and* nobody can be alone with the bride or groom? Oh, yeah, this marriage is already over.

cvisscher avatar
Cecile Visscher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never understand why weddings are made into these ridiculous stressfests. My husband and I took our family to cityhall and then to a restaurant for a diner (17 guests). I wore a simple dress (80€) and we had a great day with no stress. We have been married for over 20 years now and no regrets!

silverskycloud avatar
SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

whats the problem with the no photos? i dont want to spend a fortune on a photographer only for people to shove in front of them and ruin the work that I have paid them for

philblanque avatar
phil blanque
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would go and not follow the rules. I would dress nicely and be polite, and I would bring a modest gift...just like any other wedding. And if they made me leave, they would have to live with that embarrassment forever, because I would remind them of it at every opportunity.

giulia-arrigoni21 avatar
Emmydearest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah what they're gonna do? Call security? Call the cops? Making a scene in front of everyone (that, considering the bridezilla, is possible 😏)? Like go anyway, it's your sister's wedding (normally i'd say "it's once in a lifetime" but in this case I'm pretty sure it'll be not).

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Lisa T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The point of a wedding is to CELEBRATE in a JOYOUS occasion with family and friends. At my wedding, I wanted everyone to enjoy themselves and also feel comfortable. My bridesmaids picked their own dresses and chose what colour. It was so laid back with no rules, no set time for cake cutting, dance, speeches etc. It was also affordable. 31 years later and people still tell us it was the best wedding they’d ever been to

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless you are a royal, there is no need for so many rules. And honestly I am quite sure that even royals would not go so far as to insist on no facial hair!

helentart1980 avatar
Gemma jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly why do they make it like it’s a big deal. It’s one day My wedding we booked the registrar the restaurant. My husband got a suit and I got a dress for fifty quid it’s not even a wedding dress it’s a party dress I can wear any time. The cake was sixty. I said to people come or not your choice gift optional. Whole thing cost about two grand. It’s one day.

alicewiedrick avatar
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So if I read that correctly, each person has to give a gift valued 300 or more or they cant attend. I don't like that idea. It makes it seem like she values her gifts more than her guests and family. Yes it's your special day but your guests arent rich robots

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was looking for a serious payday instead of celebrating their marriage. Ugly woman~~I hope the man runs *before* the even uglier event!

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BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. What if everyone just attended how they want to go as with a cheap gift. LOL. I'd go just to see everyone be turned away and she'll have no one at HER wedding. Weddings are not just about the bride. It's about the groom and bride and groom's family and close friends coming together. If she wants a day where she can be the main character she can do that on her birthday. If it's a lavish wedding where family is shelling out big bucks, then the bride and groom better be keeping it a fair playing field.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Bridezilla~B***h will be separated in six months and divorced in about a year. I hope all the guests save their hair & beards, plus money and skip out on this shallow farce.

pennylost avatar
Penny Lost
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Yes, I am an a*****e. Now that we are clear on that, off you go, enjoy your wedding." Boom! Done.

fakeslashdash6 avatar
Jason Melvil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is anyone keeping count here? Seriously aren't almost all of these AITA threads are about weddings?

alexaspernelson avatar
Philler Space
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Give her $0.01 in cryptocurrency and just shrug that it must have devalued when you bought it for $300.

roserosee avatar
Rosie Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sister is holding people hostage in the oddest way. She's trying to control every single little thing and frankly this is not normal. For the brother's sanity he should not go. His parents are also wrong to give into her mean entitled behaviour.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone worth their time would NOT affiliate with this union, I've known a few Priests who would decline to marry this type of couple. My son got married on a day that 13+ inches of snow fell in Mn. in the middle of April. The fellow who married them had a 'sermon'/ speech ready, but there was a piece that he 'riffed' during it. Along the line of " you have experienced a situation that helped define how you deal with 'life', you regrouped and moved on with the event. You have an advantage over your peers, that you can look at each other and know how you will react and solve issues that come up on short notice, how you handled today is what you will be able to do in the future". If it is all drama, no compromise, expect that in the most dealings. The smarter folks will 'nope out' quickly, and not wait til it becomes more complicated. Red flags don't need to be ignored. Cheaper to nope out then the messy break-up.

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Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like those people who come up with ridiculous rules for their weddings, are under impression that everyone just dreams about attending their wedding and would do literally anything to deserve the place there. So I hope it will flatten their heads a little bit when at least some of the guests read those "rules" and say "You know what, I don't actually want to go to your wedding that much"

ivyruonakoski avatar
Ivy la Sangrienta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would GROW facial hair just for the occasion! Or glue some on, since I'm female.

blackdog8911 avatar
Della
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is your sister Cinderella? No? Ok skip it. Tell mom and dad to respect your decision. Tell your nutty sister to have a good wedding.

lizmolloy1969 avatar
Elizabeth Molloy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We had both sets of parents, with 2 weeks' notice and strict instructions to tell no-one, at our local register office. Reception at a pub which did food, honeymoon 2-hour drive to the coast. Simple, cheap and lovely! 29 years this October.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Calling your wedding day "This stressful time" is indeed a HUGE red flag. Yes, planning a wedding is stressful, but there should also be a lot of joy over marrying someone you love. It sounds more like they are planning a funeral for a loved family member.

boredpanda_127 avatar
Allie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who have this many rules for their guests have clearly lost sight of what the purpose of a wedding actually is. It's about committing to another person for life. It's not about aesthetics. I would not attend a wedding if I was presented a list of rules. I once went to a wedding where a list of rules for the guests was read out by the officiant just before she began the ceremony. It included which hashtag we must use if we were posting photos on social media. The list of rules was obnoxious.

joann-f avatar
Jo Firth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd accept the invitation but not provide the requisite gift. Choice is then his sister's whether or both he gets a seat at the reception. This will show who is the real arsehole.

napalm-glop avatar
Rod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fly you fool!!!! Seriously, this is worse than a parody. You see this in a movie and you think this is not realistic.Your sister should not see a priest but a shrink....

pebs_1 avatar
pebs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that, for some women, the organization of marriage is the event that makes an obsessive-complusive disorder evident.

tabithamartel avatar
Tabitha Martel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We spent less than $1000 on our wedding 11 years ago. It was perfect. We had a great time and have zero regrets. While I try not to judge other peoples choices I, like some others, have to say that when I see someone spending this much on a wedding and those ridiculous requirements I wonder if the marriage is the best idea at all.

dkjzone avatar
Kai
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only spent $1,000 and there were no gift requirements. Love and happiness made it a great wedding

waril-debbie avatar
loona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IF you go you risk the rest of your life being dictated by this persons "difficult times". Make a contact group with other guests and simply override her demands, as you want to show your presence as support in her difficult times.

npok03 avatar
Dylan Toeback
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else notice that the Reddit post they’re talking about is 3 years old? Interesting topic but weird that it’s so old. I wonder what happened.

bettylou avatar
Betty Lou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life is too short, don’t go! She even referred to the wedding as a stressful time. F**k that.

sethnowai avatar
Seth NoWai
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I can get some rules, like no photos allowed, since you want people to be there in the moment and you pay for professional photographer and don't want people to get in the way. Though simple guidelines would be better suited, like jeeping no photos nore in lines of certain parts of the ceremony, but fine for portions you are just having fun with guests. Color matching is kind of l fine too, if done right,again more like guidelines to exactly that one thing and no diviation. But some things like facial hair, hair and so on are just ridiculous. Topped with gift requirement. That is just disrespectful. And if your wedding is very sresfull, them you need yp take some time for self reflection and rethink your life. Yes wedding is big day and can be a lot of work, but if it us full of stress, then you are overdoing it and maybe need to step back and rentink your wishes. You might be over exaggerating a lot trying to micromanage and try forming that perfect event.

michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you really love your sister, do her a big favor at this life-changing moment in her life - don't go.

always2bfaithful avatar
DDmaybeandor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, family last a lifetime and a wedding lasts a day. That advice can be applied to both sides of this argument, which is why I think that now that you’ve said your peace, you should just go and get it over with. You are without a doubt in the right, and you did the right thing by letting her know in no uncertain terms that she is alienating people and has her priorities wrong. Good for you! I just think when it comes down to it, this will not last forever and obviously you’re strong enough to stand up for yourself if this behavior becomes a pattern lasting longer than the wedding.

dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I certainly wouldn't go. Dropping 50k on a wedding and then having the nerve to require everyone to give you an expensive gift?

sandyd avatar
Sandy D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would tell her she 8s both greedy and insane, and I wouldn't attend even if I was her mother. I would tell her it's appalling to require wedding guest to cut off their face or head hair. And to demand a specific value of gift or amount of cash is plain old disgusting. She's going to alienate both of their families and all their friends. It's neyond rude and ridiculous, and shows the bride is completely clueless and entirely self absorbed and extremely immature. And spending over $50k is a huge waste of the par money. Honestly, nobody should show up. The marriage is almost certain to fail anyway

nuggetwalther avatar
Fickle_Pickle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Late to the party but here’s my take: NTA. I would say tho that I’ll be attending the divorce party bc I don’t think the groom have the patience of a saint to put up with her c**p.

blt_lilred avatar
Ron Short
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This way you won't be expected to babysit when she starts having kids!

melaine010903 avatar
Emeq-kuh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only part that makes sense is no one taking pictures except the photographer, and that's cuz a good portion of them are putting it in their contract. My brother-in-law paid for the photographer at our wedding, and she had that same clause. I only found out later in the day when she threw a fit over my husband's aunt taking pictures on a disposable camera. The funny part is his aunt, at 80 years old with no training, got better photos than the paid professional. Ugh.

poisonblackmaharet avatar
Darleen Marie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I would definitely not go. But, if his parents are willing to pay for his gift. I would go just for the wedding cake. If the wedding is that expensive. The cake must be super delicious. I would go for food and drinks. If she were my sister and it's her wedding. I would avoid her at the event. Just eat and drink. I can be very petty. But, since everyone insist me going. I would actually be an AH.

delilahevil avatar
Delilah Evil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who the f**k is opening presents before the wedding? These people are gross. Your wedding is the most important day of your life, but you are still hosting a party. No photos sure. Dress code absolutely. Hair? F**k you

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uhm...not being able to talk to the bride or groom alone...that sends up red flags for me. Is she specifically trying to hide something from the future husband? Did she send out this email without his knowledge? I would have a side chat with the groom to find out if he is aware of this email going out.

front_runner avatar
Front_Runner
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Phoney, like all of the rest of these stories. There's no way you live a normal life, and then surprise your family with ridiculous demands like that. You're either full on psycho all the time, or you would never ask for all of those things like that

codyhill avatar
Cody Hill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feel sorry for the Groom most of all. Anyone this controlling over the wedding is probably controlling over the relationship I wouldn't feel bad about missing this wedding cause it likely won't be the bride's last one.

tonygonzalez avatar
Tony Gonzalez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering how difficult, selfish and materialistic she is with complete disregard of how much her parents and to-be in-laws have invested in this wedding, and how she prioritizes gifts over family and friends, this will be a short lived marriage. The groom, once his rose colored glasses come off, will be struggling to find an equitable way out. You know her demands will only escalate.

geordiemcdougall avatar
GMc
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

$300 gift certificate for a divorce lawyer (for him) would be my gift.

njonjondehi avatar
Njonjo Ndehi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your leisure time is scarce nowadays and therefore precious. Do NOT go for such a wedding.

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand why taking photos is discouraged because people tend to get in the photographers way, but everything else is ridiculous.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And sometimes it just happens, that a guest not aware of the moment, walks in front of the couple while the photographer is framing the shot. Can be funny and candid.

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ljrobinson avatar
LJ Robinson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take the time and go. You don't have to live with her, just a few hours. Make your parents happy, do it, then get away from her. Resume your life.

rager avatar
Bruce Aitchison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brides these days are just so way off this planet. They only think of themselves and no one else not even the groom. I'm the bride it's " MY " wedding you'll do as I say or else. Imagine what she is going to be like as a wife. Poor husband.

marymassey avatar
Mary Massey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My guess this high maintenance chick won’t be married long. She’s already displayed unreasonable immature behavior. She’s selfish, self-centered and again immature. If she was micromanaging a wedding means she she’s not a good manager at or of anything else. She’s a bully and thinks by being a bully she’ll get her way. Am I wrong?

learalou31 avatar
Leara Bridges Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the parents are the reason she acts like this!! Created a monster

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His parents was talking bad about her going off about the wrong shade of white napkins. I guess they didn't tell her how ridiculous she sounded at that point. For them to pay the amount they paid already and still is about to buy the gift for the brother; smh I guess they don't tell her no at all. They created that monster. My daughter is so into wanting everything to be perfect but if things don't go perfect I make sure she sees the bigger picture and it calms her down. I let her know that the only thing you can control is yourself. You can't control other people and it's how you word things for people to respect you. Now my daughter put in her invitation for her baby shower about gifts how everyone bringing a gift for the baby shower or putting money on an item she wants from Amazon. I had her reword it by saying that she is registered at Amazon and she has some items on there that she set up just incase someone who wants to get something for the baby and their funds are tight ri

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right now they can put money onto that item as low as $5. Right there it helps people not feel force to get a gift and not feel bad because they can't afford something right now.

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caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don''t understand why people want a grand wedding and make it the most basic stereotypical s**t ever, with a white dress, white napkins and white tall cake. If you want a big wedding, at least make it unique and truly unforgettable. no?

garyfrench avatar
Solidhog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is the reason we have to put "caution! hot water" signs on hot taps.

jan_hoot avatar
Jan Hooten
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were having or paying for a wedding in this day and age, the only requirement I would have would be no jeans/at least business casual dress for attendees. (Unless it is specified to be a “blue jeans casual” event). I really do think it’s horribly disrespectful that people routinely wear jeans to weddings and funerals.

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here is an idea. If you want your wedding guests to look picture perfect according to your unrealistic Instagram standards, go hire movie extras for your wedding instead!

nandinabee avatar
Skeeter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that because you are her brother, you should go. That is the only reason. Let your parents buy the gift for you, she will know that you didn't buy it and probably won't care given her level of selfish entitlement. Then, sit back and watch the show. Roll your eyes at will. It would be interesting to know how many invitees respectfully decline. I see a massive meltdown in the near future and a divorce within the year.

sheila_stamey avatar
Sheila Stamey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In this case I don't think the massage will last that long with the money thing. That's a red flag. If one is willing to drive loved ones into indebtedness, and beg for cash as admittance, then you are not going into the marriage with healthy money management experience. That is a killer for even great marriages.

saywyn avatar
Panda Who Mumbles, Constantly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

50k for a wedding, that is basically over in a day? Why? Why not spend the money as down payment for a place instead?

leeann_1 avatar
Lee-Ann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wedding (27+) years ago was filled with friends and my dress was a whopping 100 bucks. The entire thing cost less than 5k and it was awesome. Oh and the photos are in the closet gathering dust cause we love in the now and not the then.

madmcqueen avatar
Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go to the service at the church. Skip the reception because why??!??? Demanding ties is one thing. Making people cut their hair is another. Oh it's two inches too long? Ponytails on grandma? No. Cash or gift or gtfo? They gonna check envelopes of guests to see if a gift is in there? Wtf. Buy some fake money an give them that if u HAVE to go to keep the piece. Or a check for $2.50 that looks like $250. Lol. If you're in the wedding party that is your gift. Not all this drama. Parents should have put their feet down. It's their money footing this not the couple. So why should they reap all the $$? F**k I'm so over these big a*s weddings for show that end in divorces 2 years later. Eloped here. Had a reception dinner w a DJ at a venue restaurant I loved the food at. $5 k max. It was fun and everyone was happy. His side was 80% and mine 20% (bride) and I didn't care. I wanted something guests would enjoy. Not to cash grab.

petemccann avatar
DrBronxx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be interested to find out how many people decided to not go in the end.

angeldrac avatar
Stoopham McFernybabes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how these stories prompt all the comments from people boasting about how small and how little they spent on their wedding. It’s like they’ve turned it in to a competition going the other direction.

jennikeestra avatar
Jennik
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think it's "boasting", as you call it. People are showing how you can have a special day but still keep it simple, low key and low cost (to the guests as well as the couple getting married)

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mommyjenny05 avatar
Coffeemama05
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“Stressful time”? It’s one day. Yes, it’s an important day but there’s a whole life time of stressful days that are way more important than this (children, deaths, cancer diagnosis etc). I could never have those types of expectations. And if one of my kids did this at their wedding, I wouldn’t encourage this by helping out. What a nut job

irma_1 avatar
Irma
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can only understand the photo one. I did that too during the ceremony. The photographer asked us to do that cause it would be a shame if he would take pictures of the guests and all you see is the backs of phones. The rest is weird yea

bluemom2017 avatar
Pamela Blue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had 20 people at my wedding. It was an 11:00am wedding and we had a restaurant "back room" booked for a lovely lunch for all 20 guests. Then later that night, we had a party back at our apartment with every friend and neighbour (+ the 20) with a pot luck table. It was fabulous, inexpensive (for a wedding) and we had loads of fun!

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wedding cost $5,000 bucks with a 3 course meal and open bar. We got married in our backyard and rented the party room at the church at the end of our street for the reception, it's was great and we wouldn't have changed it for a $50,000 wedding anywhere!

lellsworth8587 avatar
Phryne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She missed a few rules: Female guests shouldn't be allowed to wear makeup, she should have body searches to make sure no one has their cell phone in case they decide to take pictures, and the "gifts" should have to have the receipt attached so she can be sure they spent the required amount and didn't buy something on sale...I'm sure I could come up with some more ridiculous rules, but those are off the top of my head.

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TJ Mool
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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TJ Mool
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Nate Barrystein
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We surprised all the guests with the wedding. Only me and my now wife new it was happening(and the officiant).

stanflouride avatar
Stannous Flouride
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Several studies have found an inverse correlation between the expense of the wedding and how long the marriage lasts. While correlation is not causation I believe that the greed and self-centeredness that makes someone demand such things is a symptom of how committed they will be toward their partner.

djinn6969 avatar
John de la Cruz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she had a really terribly stressful wedding and nothing turned out right. I really do. People like her needs to be taught a lesson.

raymond-bille avatar
Emma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not just the bride but the groomzilla always wrote those rules since the letter said both bride and groom wish.....

ii_3 avatar
I I
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

bridzilla indeed , who makes rules like these that make guests feel like they dont want to go ? supposed to be a happy day surrounded by loved ones , not WHAT CAN I GET GIFT WISE??? yeah NTA id stay home too

lovelyotheremail avatar
Laura Elizabeth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe go to her second wedding? Or third? She might chill out by the fourth. Pick the one where you like the groom the best.

piperferrell avatar
tamèreestchaude
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im sure the bride and groom will divorce in 1 year. not that I want it for them, divorce is hard, but when you spend 50k on a wedding they tend to not work out. o.o

cheryllynn avatar
CherylLynn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll just explain here that we live in Canada 🇨🇦, sorry. When my husband and I were married we told everyone it was a Canada Day celebration as well as a baptize the new deck and pool. Only stipulation? Let's make it fun and wear red and white. Some people insisted on bringing a salad, ok ... no worries. No one knew it was a wedding until I came out in a beautiful wedding gown along with our officiate. Not a dry eye in the crowd. We spent in total $1200.00 that included my dress, flowers, the officiate, steaks, chicken, homemade hamburgers, hot dogs and cake. We had a blast! In fact my new MIL was horrified that my husband didn't even have shoes on. 😊

kelley_baltierra avatar
Kelley Baltierra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as they were dressed for a wedding I could care less what colors they wore...or hairstyles for that matter. And as far as putting a minimum price on gifts, that's ridiculous. I did my best to make sure I had at least a dj, decent food, and a cake and I was happy with how my wedding turned out. Handmade my bridesmaids dresses btw to save a little money too and I didn't want 'ugly' dresses. I was happy with all my gifts even the super cheap ones like flatware and such because we needed them

happychere avatar
Cherie Swain
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

MoneyoneyMoney300, I know this was a few years ago, but I’d love to know 2 things. First, how many people actually showed up?? And second, are they still happily married? Signed, Curious my email happychere@yahoo.com

joyce_monty avatar
Joyce Monty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha! Ha! Yikes!! Buy the happy couple a retainer for a divorce lawyer and mail it to them. Avoid the 'Peyton Place' wedding at all costs and just sit back and wait. Your gift will be the one they use the soonest, Im guessing.

lifeartphoto avatar
TheDivineMsM
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To call it her day and not our day already shows she is getting married for the wrong reasons. I understand weddings are a big deal for girls who have dreamt of the perfect day for so long, but it should be a union pf you and your partner, not a spotlight on the bride. Way too controlling, I'd opt out.

morachilis avatar
Mora Chilis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she lost sight of the purpose of the day. Does she have an anxiety disorder/perfectionist? ADD/ADHD? Sounds like she is manifesting a lot of pressure trying to create a perfect experience, though we live in an imperfect world. Is she ok? That's the bigger question.

fantasia1954 avatar
Bill Kotsias
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's as always the parents' fault, who have always spoiled their favourite daughter by fulfilling her childish demands like these, and never putting any limits to her

shannonrichards25 avatar
ShareMusic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember when the point of getting married was to start a new family and provide a stable home to raise children. The purpose of wedding gifts was to help set up the new household. Dishes and other kitchenware, towels, bedding, decor. Today many brides believe the point of getting married is to be princess for the day. And the purpose of gifts is to help pay for the theatrical fairy tale.

karmarose avatar
karma rose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of these requests are ridiculous especially the mandatory cash "gift" if it's mandatory it's actually a cover fee. The only rule that kind of makes sense is the no pictures one. Recently I saw a wedding picture of a bride and groom's first kiss taken from the angle next to the officiant. The picture showed the bride, groom, and the guests. Unfortunately a guest, may have been the mother of the bride, had her giant phone covering her face. It would have been nice if the photographer could have gotten her facial expression. People holding up phones ruin photos.

ma-lahann avatar
marianne eliza
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run far. Run fast. It will only get worse.

danielszabo avatar
Triv
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go, it’s a pain in the butt but, the fallout is going to be toxic. Pay the fee, but grow your beard out! Muahaha.

hmoore_1 avatar
H M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why bother? I didn't go to friends fancy day long wedding. They divorced a year later. It's ONE DAY. Save your money and have a life instead. I didn't even have a weeding, just married, signed papers, no ring, dress, nothing. Married for 43 years (partner died then)

simon_37 avatar
The IRS
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're this invested in it - you won't enjoy the wedding. Any small thing will "destroy" your day. If you're paying for it out of your own pocket - fine. Go nuts. But when you're dragging in other people and their money it's a hard sell.

jaredackerman avatar
Jared Ackerman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife and I spent $1700 on our wedding and week long honeymoon. When did wedding become so stupid to attend?

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Marigen Beltran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the OP does everything that was said NOT to do if OP decides to go.

lorih47 avatar
Lori w
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talking behind her back instead of directly to her is what's annoying me. Send her a text and politely explain instead of talking behind her back. A simple "Sorry, I won't be able to attend. I don't feel comfortable with the gift minimum/rules you have set, but I still wish congratulations to you both!" let's the bride know what's going on. Weddings are something we dream about since kids, so yes, we can get carried away. Saying yes all the time or ignoring the situation won't help. I got married 5 years ago- I didn't have any guest rules, but if anyone I invited felt uncomfortable about something, I would have appreciated them letting me know!

nick_23 avatar
Nick
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He explained the reasoning to their mother. His sister understands why he isn't going. YOU understood when people couldn't/wouldn't attend because you are a normal reasonable human being. His sister is not. She knows why he isn't attending and is still blowing up his phone. The amount of verbal abuse he would get by talking to he is not worth. I think you are delusional thinking the sister with that crazy of rules would be fine with her brother not attending for any reason.

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j_davidphillips avatar
J. David Phillips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a fake story. And by the way, you don’t say “a email”. It’s “an email”.

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