“I Told Him To Stop! He Pushed Him Again. So, I Punched Him, Hard”: Mom Writes A Powerful Post About Her Son
Parents want their kids to get along, to love each other. After all, there are plenty of things in the world that will try to knock them down, there’s no need for them to fight with each other. However, as with most rules in life, there might be exceptions. Katie Bryant, 31, of North Carolina, believes it’s bullying.
In a viral and sincere post on Love What Matters, Katie said that she teaches her children to stand up for themselves and those around them if they’re being abused. Sadly, every now and then you can only compromise for so long before someone takes advantage of it. The art is to recognize where to draw the line.
To illustrate her point, Katie shared a story about her son confronting a bully. Continue scrolling to read it in her own words!
Image credits: Katie Bryant
Image credits: Katie Bryant
Image credits: Katie Bryant
“My son is a good-hearted defender. He is kind and thoughtful but he has never been one to stand for injustice,” Katie told Bored Panda. She also said that he’s homeschooled, and the class is only a once-a-month kind of thing.
“He hasn’t fought anyone before,” she said. The mom strongly believes that her son only hit that child as a last resort to settle the situation. “He did all the right things first.”
Katie also said that all of the boys have played together nicely after the incident.
Image credits: Katie Bryant
Image credits: Katie Bryant
Here’s what people said about Katie’s story
THIS, THIS, THIS! Violence is a LAST resort, but I think we've taken it too far the other way, leaving kids vulnerable and talking doesn't work. Frequently, asking some one to stop their behavior towards you just proves to them that it's getting under their skin, making them even more prone to do it. At some point, it is appropriate to defend ones self or others if no other recourse is available or attempts at other recourse has failed.
Damn straight. Rock their world if you must. Little bullies grow up to be bigger bullies.
glorytherainwing, Char Char was just referring to the story. If people are making fun of you, maybe you should directly contact Bored Panda and tell them your situation. I saw on your bio that you have autism and so a******s making fun of you could be banned from the website for harassment.
Load More Replies...Sounds like the bully's parent was interest in the truth, too. Which is good for avoid future incidents. And I agree with the boy, he couldn't leave the kid alone in the bathroom with the other kid. Violence should not be our first action (this boy tried using words) but sometimes it is the only option we have
Good parenting! My son got suspended from school for a similar incident. He defended a little girl who was being repeatedly pushed down by a bully. His school refused to listen to his side of the story even when the little girl told the teacher the same thing.
Did you tell them that even in State and Federal Statutes "Defense of others" is a justifiable defense to punching someone?
Load More Replies...There's a big difference between violence and using force to stop a wrong activity. The difference lies in the intention. If you're overtaken by anger, then your physical action becomes violence - if it's done to protect others, it is not violence because it is not dictated by anger. Obviously the lines can get blurry, but I honestly think most kids, some adults and then people who actually train their mind - fundamentally know where the line is.
Amen! This distinction between non-violent force/ physical action vs. violence is made by very few people. But I completely agree. It is entirely possible to act with force in a non violent manner.
Load More Replies...The current approach of "everyone involved in the incident must be punished" isn't just sweeping problems under the rug, it's actively enabling bullying and encouraging bullies to act out. This is the way things should be handled like actual mature adults, instead of the neutered approach by schools in the name of "zero tolerance".
Interesting. What caught my eye was when the parent said (when she went to talk to her child): "What happened" - and followed it with how it's important to know the why and not just the what. How lovely and different. I few years ago, there were some "friends" who were complaining about something the neighbourhood kids were doing (and I mean kids... as far as I know, not 16 year olds... but, under 10 years old)... and I said something like "Finding out why they do it, and work out how to stop it" or something... and I just got backlashed SO HARD with comments like "Kids are just stupid, they do dumbsh** things, there's no point asking them why" and "They're just stupid kids, they need to be TOLD what NOT to do, I don't care why they did it"... ... and somehow... that attitude made it... very difficult for me to talk to those people anymore... (mind you... there could have been more backstory... like they HAVE tried to talk to them? They never told me though.)
That’s the difference between authoritarian and authoritative parents. Authoritarians stop bad behaviors by extreme punishment, so their kids resent them and try to hide their continuance of the behavior for no other reason than to avoid punishment. Authoritative parents discourage bad behavior with appropriate punishment and an explanation (for older kids who can understand) of how that behavior affects the people they care about. Their kids will stop or modify the behavior because they want to, and may end up being more cognitive of its triggers, which can help them avoid them. Authoritarian parenting is counterproductive and may result in your kids resenting you, while authoritative parenting is productive and may result in a better and closer relationship with your children.
Load More Replies...There are three sides to every side (yours, theirs and the truth)... four if you include mom bragging on facebook about how awesome she and her kid are.
I wish I'd been as wise as you are when I was dealing with my daughter being bullied...even the teachers participated. Unfortunately the teachers will protect the school, it's in their job description. Also unfortunately , the school will not protect the teacher . Everyone is so afraid of getting sued that the rules we are following aren't rules that protect the most vulnerable in this, the children. If your son's teacher attempted to handle the situation on her own, and it resulted in "your child hit somebody, so somebody else hit him back and your son is the only one being punished "... a lot of parents would lose their s**t. A lot of parents today are not supporting their child's teacher or working as a team with the teacher. I'm so glad you handled this the way you did , and that the teacher agreed with you. It doesn't always turn out that way
When my daughter was in kindergarten she was constantly harassed by this little boy. She was small for her age and he was a good head taller & 20lbs heavier. I called and sent emails to the principal, but nothing ever happened. The recess monitor thought the boy having a crush on my daughter was "cute". No, it's not cure that a 5 year old is having stomach problems just thinking about going to school. I taught her some basic self defense moves and the next time he picked on her, she kicked him so hard in the nuts he dropped like a stone. Oh, NOW I have the principal's attention. We met with the other parents and I pulled out my file folder full of notes regarding phone calls and copies of my emails. The principal was embarrassed and the parents were pissed - they had never been contacted regarding their little prick picking on my daughter. I made it clear that if it ever happened again, I'd call the police. They transferred him to another school. Not a single regret.
Good for you! I hope your daughter is ok now.
Load More Replies...So the kid punched the bully, who deserved it. Why is this of interest to anyone? Happens all the time. And thankfully, will continue.
Exactly. I see nothing particularly interesting in this story.
Load More Replies...I LOVE THIS MUM AMD THIS KID! Go forth young sir and defend others honour!
What the kid did was awesome but this mom is talking about him like he just solved poverty. Relax, lady lol.
She makes important points and she’s proud of her son.
Load More Replies...I lost her when she said she expects to get hate, but then "there are too many people online who dish out hate without getting punched in the face". So, in her own words: if you don't like what she's saying, she'll punch you in the face. There's a theme here I don't like.
She’s referring to keyboard bravery. They don’t get punched in the face only because they bully with words in anonymity
Load More Replies...I don't condone violence but if that's what it takes to get a bully to stop, then bravo. I'd rather have my kid suspended from school knowing he stood up for himself then to sit there and take a beat down and have nothing done to the bully because face it most times, not all, but most times the kid who got bullied fights back and he/she is the one in trouble, not the other way around. Obviously a bully isn't getting the proper parenting at home
This reminds me of the time when I was getting bullied by a fifth grader when I was in Kindergarden. He wouldn't leave me alone and after he shoved me against the wall, I kicked him where it hurt and brought him to his knees. Luckily a teacher saw what happened, so I wasn't in trouble, but I did have to go to the office. I didn't see the guy after that. I don't know if he was suspended, or stopped coming to the kindergarten Hallway.
Good for the little guy!! He probably will get in trouble, but he did exactly what he should have done. This is a great story of sticking up for yourself. That bully was put in his place, and hopefully learned a lesson ...Bully's suck!!
I had a situation with my son. At 11, he was a bit of a nerd, had a very sweet disposition and a very gentle soul. Alex had a kid who repeatedly picked on him. He went through all the proper channels such as telling his teachers and principal, his parents, etc. There were meetings between the two kids with the principal and teacher as mediators and I was told the other child had other consequences at school as well ( I don’t know what happened at his home). Regardless, the bullying continued. I finally told my son that sometimes bullies will bully as long as you allow it and that he had my permission to respond physically if he felt he needed to ( he had been in tae kwon do for several years and had recently earned his black belt so her knew how to handle himself). Finally, one day, Alex came upon the bully picking on one of his friends, told him to leave him alone. The bully refused and went after Alex. Alex shoved him once, the bully backed down and never bothered him again.
I don't have any problem with your child's behavior, in fact, I think it should be applauded. Yes, obviously physical violence should be a last resort... and that's exactly how your son used it! He used words first; correctly assessed in the moment that if he didn't do something, that another child would be hurt, and he took action. People don't want to accept it, but aggression has a place in the world. I am so exhausted by all the stories of rampant bullying I hear about. I don't understand why schools, daycares, etc., don't have a more zero tolerance approach to this problem... especially when another child is bullying just for 'sport.' It doesn't sound like that was the case here, but it seems to happen a lot more than it should.
My niece was being bullied by two boys at the bus stop every single morning. They would push her down, throw her books, etc...She cried her way to school on the bus. My sister is a pacifist. She just kept telling my niece to ignore them. I taught my niece how to throw a proper punch, and if things got real bad, to kick them between their legs. Well, the next school day, after being pushed down again, she punched the kid right in the face. He ran home crying. It never happened again. I was so proud of her.
My junior high school years were hell on earth because no adult had my back, not even my parents. I've taught both my children, boy and girl, that if words won't do it and there's no adult willing to help, they have my permission and support to escalate disproportionately until the bullying stops. "Ignore them and they'll go away" is, at best, wishful thinking.
Makes me sad that it seems like the teacher was not interested in knowing what happened. Judging from the OP's account, both of the kids (even the "big bully") were ready to tell the adults what had happened but the adults (teachers) came to their own conclusions before they even hear the explanation, and thought that it wasn't necessary to hear the children's point of view. Unfortunately I have come across a lot of these teachers growing up.
My daughter had an altercation in year 5 at primary school,with a boy the same age,she pushed him and he ran away from school. I know what my daughter is like,and I am the first one to give her grief if she does something wrong. When we discussed it she said he had shoved her and she did the same back. She got into trouble from the teachers. I told her it’s never right to touch someone. It is ok to defend yourself and to help others.
If more bullies were knocked on their a**e the moment they started their manure there would be far fewer bullies.
Powerful? Really? That word is so overused. Every parent would want their kids to do this for a child getting bullied, and we all also teach our kids to defend themselves.. somebody really needed some attention and validation..
Amazing story! We almost forgot about compassion! People need to stand up for others more.
This sort of "behaviour" is characteristic of children diagnosed as "ADHD". They have little regard for their own safety and a lot of concern for the vulnerable. I have first hand experience of this same situation: one small child standing up for second small child against a larger bully. The event was never repeated, at least in front of the first child. ADHD children actually have a lot of wonderful traits if you look for them and cultivate them.
I am SO PROUD OF YOUR KID! At his young age, he knew what he needs to do, to stand up for the weak that needs his help. I am also proud of you too, for your upbringing to teach your son the good value to become a true young man. Your son did the right time at the right time given the situation that he was facing.
Such a brave kid! And an amazing mother! It is so important to start up against injustice. I hope I’m able to ingrain that into my child. The world needs more moms like her. Thank you for writing this.
Enneagram 8s - love their strength and immediacy. They teach us to empower ourselves and look after the vulnerable. ❤️
Your son and you are both heroes! People would argue that he should have gone for help from an adult, but he, admittedly, thought of the dangerous consequences of leaving the smaller boy alone. He's a quick thinker and fast actor. I have nothing but pride and respect for someone who will step in to defend some helpless other in a situation like this.
Well done you, your son and the parent of the kid doing the bullying. There comes a time where a stand has to be take on and your son stepped up.
Wow All you people labeling this a violence, IT'S NOT ! It's called growing up and part of growing up is defending yourself. A kid giving a bully a good pop is sometimes like in this case the only solution. Violence ! Violence is what's happening on our streets right now with rioters and looters. How about getting in touch with reality again. Using absurd and improper labels is a big part of the problem. Imagine if the big bully in this case was a POC then we'd be hearing this labeled as a racist hate crime. I applaud this mom for standing by her child and getting the facts first. She gets reality and she's raising some fine children by teaching them where the lines in the sand are drawn.
Katie, my hat is off to you! If more parents would teach their children to stand up to bullies whether they are picking on them or someone else, our world would be a better place. Sometimes you have to be violent when you can't get through with talk! I see no harm in how you are bringing up your children. You seem to have a very happy and wonderful family. Stay true to your beliefs no matter what. At least your children will grow up well rounded.
Kudos to your son for standing up to a bully. My dad always told me that fighting was the last resort but if its the only way let the other person throw the first punch and then end it. Fortunately I only had to use that advice one time. We have spent so much time drilling it into the heads of children that they shouldn't fight, blah blah blah. Doing this has created a society where the bully's can keep going until one day the person being bullied snaps and puts a permanent end to the situation and in doing so others pay the price too. Teach your kids that if there is no other way, then stand up to the bully, make sure he throws the first punch and then end it .
My brother was the same way as your son. Kuddos for you for raising wonderful children! I miss my brother every day (He died of cancer in 2008 as an adult) and love that I can see examples of the sort of person he was in people all around me. Gives me hope for humanity.
I remember a kid in school beating up my big brother and he wouldn't stop. I was so upset, I jumped on this kid's back and pummeled him for all I was worth (I was about 8 or 9, he was 12 or 13). I didn't get into trouble for it. There's no way a discussion would have stopped it, but my physical actions did. By the time the altercation is happening, words are too little, too late. We have to focus on setting boundaries for acceptable behavior when there is not a crisis/fight actually happening. I dare say things have improved a lot since I was a kid!
Good job! Bullies must be stopped in the making and at an early stage it is usually quite easy. The longer the abusive behavior is tolerated, the worse the situation becomes, it can even lead to death. So yes, congrats for your parenting skills!
There are an enormous amount of comments, very interesting, also, I feel this post has been a good lesson for some parents, good post !!!
Please help me understand how this works when a single child is being bullied by a group of two or more?
Just lost my Mum last week and I want to say THIS is exactly what she taught us to do. Stand up for yourself and others.
I suppose it's good way to defend, but how about yelling very loud for a teacher? A 6 year old can yell loud enough to bring the buiding down around their ears, and the toilet coudln't have been that far away from a classroom. Other than that, yep, some situations require you to take care of yourself and of those around you in a more hands on approach.
Growing up my sister and I were always taught that if someone was bullying us or anyone else to stand up to that kind of thing and we have. My big sister jumped fully clothed into a pool because I was being bullied. The bully was the lifeguard and was fired for bullying. I told off a guy in my French class because he was being rude to another student. We have got to stop bullying by whatever means are necessary.
The mother has raised her son well, as the boy helped the smaller one, that's awesome !!!
The little boy is adorable. Her son, I mean. He has really pretty eyes.
My son has a friend who is autistic. This friend is somewhere in the mid range, he can communicate but gets highly stressed easily. My son and this boy have been friends since Kindy. Last year in 5th grade my son heard that the baseball coach was not letting P play in any of the games even when team was way ahead and said that he belonged on the "special team". P does not need to be on a special team he is fully capable of playing on the normal sports teams and is very good at baseball... better than many of the "normal" players. My son wanted to go to a game just so he could yell at the coach to defend his friend...
I actually think there is one more way he can do this, and that is by dragging the other kid out of the bathroom quick to the teacher. I REALLY hope the mother still remind the kid that punching and kicking don't resolve things - the bully simply learned not to bully someone stronger. The most important thing is to teach kids who are bullies that what they do are wrong and how to love. They honestly lack it.
“the bully simply learned not to bully someone stronger” After getting checked by a much smaller child, I might conclude that he learned not to bully anyone...and the punching and kicking did resolve the problem of the little girl being brutalized. The writer’s son did nothing wrong. No offense, but I think you might be virtue signaling if I understand that term correctly
Load More Replies...It is good to see that there still NORMAL people in this sick, over sensitive world. A push is not violence, in this case. It was a little boy standing Up against a child (the bully of course ) that needed to be pushed!
This is how I've raised my kids. They're all much older now (21,21,10,19 & 16... yes there's two sets of twins there, I didn't double my numbers, no fertility medications were used. My body just decided that for the first try I got two, and even on birth control after the first 2 for pregnant with 2 more when the first 2 were 6 months old) anyhow.... they've always known this same thing! I praise this momma for her success with her kids. There are too many that aren't being taught much of anything.
My husband and I taught our youngest (who is bipolar and borderline schizophrenic) that if someone bullies her to walk away. If you can't walk away, ask them to stop. If they don't stop, look for a teacher. If there is no teacher, punch them in the nose going for the back of their head! One day her dad is teasing her. She tells him to stop. He doesn't. She tries to walk away and he won't let her. I'm sitting there, watching. She doesn't even hesitate. She pops her dad a good one to the nose! I laughed so hard. He deserved it. She was six at the time. No punishment was given.
No, no and NO.. My kids were bullying few kids.. Even hit.. And i know my kids.. They didint hit but say back.. When i try to solv this fight other kids allways say that blame was my kids.. They know how to lie They momy dear.. And momy dear allways told me that my kids are angeles.. -.- if you kids dont learn solv problem whitout violence.. When they are adults jail will be adress soon.. Sorry learn them make noice..
I stopped reading at "My Enneagram 8 if I ever met one". What the hell does this mean? Keep your b******t fancy pants over expressive writing along with your pic of basket of fresh vegetables to yourself. Here's the story without reading as it's been told countless time and happens many times everyday... "Kid bullied my kid, my kid fought back and all's good" Done!
Look at it this way: even fancy-pants parents can be sensible on the issue of bullying
Load More Replies...Yes leave your friend who is getting thrown around by a bigger kid instead of defending him.....
Load More Replies...I am so sorry that this is happening to you every where in life there are a******s especially ones who hide behind a keyboard they were probably bullied themselves and it makes them feel good don't let anyone put you down you are special and your beautiful fur baby needs you you will do just fine going on being you take care and have a lovely time over the holidays )0(
Load More Replies...Unless you think the poster is lying, both sides were presented. The kid admitted to pushing the other kid. Did you even read the post?
Load More Replies...THIS, THIS, THIS! Violence is a LAST resort, but I think we've taken it too far the other way, leaving kids vulnerable and talking doesn't work. Frequently, asking some one to stop their behavior towards you just proves to them that it's getting under their skin, making them even more prone to do it. At some point, it is appropriate to defend ones self or others if no other recourse is available or attempts at other recourse has failed.
Damn straight. Rock their world if you must. Little bullies grow up to be bigger bullies.
glorytherainwing, Char Char was just referring to the story. If people are making fun of you, maybe you should directly contact Bored Panda and tell them your situation. I saw on your bio that you have autism and so a******s making fun of you could be banned from the website for harassment.
Load More Replies...Sounds like the bully's parent was interest in the truth, too. Which is good for avoid future incidents. And I agree with the boy, he couldn't leave the kid alone in the bathroom with the other kid. Violence should not be our first action (this boy tried using words) but sometimes it is the only option we have
Good parenting! My son got suspended from school for a similar incident. He defended a little girl who was being repeatedly pushed down by a bully. His school refused to listen to his side of the story even when the little girl told the teacher the same thing.
Did you tell them that even in State and Federal Statutes "Defense of others" is a justifiable defense to punching someone?
Load More Replies...There's a big difference between violence and using force to stop a wrong activity. The difference lies in the intention. If you're overtaken by anger, then your physical action becomes violence - if it's done to protect others, it is not violence because it is not dictated by anger. Obviously the lines can get blurry, but I honestly think most kids, some adults and then people who actually train their mind - fundamentally know where the line is.
Amen! This distinction between non-violent force/ physical action vs. violence is made by very few people. But I completely agree. It is entirely possible to act with force in a non violent manner.
Load More Replies...The current approach of "everyone involved in the incident must be punished" isn't just sweeping problems under the rug, it's actively enabling bullying and encouraging bullies to act out. This is the way things should be handled like actual mature adults, instead of the neutered approach by schools in the name of "zero tolerance".
Interesting. What caught my eye was when the parent said (when she went to talk to her child): "What happened" - and followed it with how it's important to know the why and not just the what. How lovely and different. I few years ago, there were some "friends" who were complaining about something the neighbourhood kids were doing (and I mean kids... as far as I know, not 16 year olds... but, under 10 years old)... and I said something like "Finding out why they do it, and work out how to stop it" or something... and I just got backlashed SO HARD with comments like "Kids are just stupid, they do dumbsh** things, there's no point asking them why" and "They're just stupid kids, they need to be TOLD what NOT to do, I don't care why they did it"... ... and somehow... that attitude made it... very difficult for me to talk to those people anymore... (mind you... there could have been more backstory... like they HAVE tried to talk to them? They never told me though.)
That’s the difference between authoritarian and authoritative parents. Authoritarians stop bad behaviors by extreme punishment, so their kids resent them and try to hide their continuance of the behavior for no other reason than to avoid punishment. Authoritative parents discourage bad behavior with appropriate punishment and an explanation (for older kids who can understand) of how that behavior affects the people they care about. Their kids will stop or modify the behavior because they want to, and may end up being more cognitive of its triggers, which can help them avoid them. Authoritarian parenting is counterproductive and may result in your kids resenting you, while authoritative parenting is productive and may result in a better and closer relationship with your children.
Load More Replies...There are three sides to every side (yours, theirs and the truth)... four if you include mom bragging on facebook about how awesome she and her kid are.
I wish I'd been as wise as you are when I was dealing with my daughter being bullied...even the teachers participated. Unfortunately the teachers will protect the school, it's in their job description. Also unfortunately , the school will not protect the teacher . Everyone is so afraid of getting sued that the rules we are following aren't rules that protect the most vulnerable in this, the children. If your son's teacher attempted to handle the situation on her own, and it resulted in "your child hit somebody, so somebody else hit him back and your son is the only one being punished "... a lot of parents would lose their s**t. A lot of parents today are not supporting their child's teacher or working as a team with the teacher. I'm so glad you handled this the way you did , and that the teacher agreed with you. It doesn't always turn out that way
When my daughter was in kindergarten she was constantly harassed by this little boy. She was small for her age and he was a good head taller & 20lbs heavier. I called and sent emails to the principal, but nothing ever happened. The recess monitor thought the boy having a crush on my daughter was "cute". No, it's not cure that a 5 year old is having stomach problems just thinking about going to school. I taught her some basic self defense moves and the next time he picked on her, she kicked him so hard in the nuts he dropped like a stone. Oh, NOW I have the principal's attention. We met with the other parents and I pulled out my file folder full of notes regarding phone calls and copies of my emails. The principal was embarrassed and the parents were pissed - they had never been contacted regarding their little prick picking on my daughter. I made it clear that if it ever happened again, I'd call the police. They transferred him to another school. Not a single regret.
Good for you! I hope your daughter is ok now.
Load More Replies...So the kid punched the bully, who deserved it. Why is this of interest to anyone? Happens all the time. And thankfully, will continue.
Exactly. I see nothing particularly interesting in this story.
Load More Replies...I LOVE THIS MUM AMD THIS KID! Go forth young sir and defend others honour!
What the kid did was awesome but this mom is talking about him like he just solved poverty. Relax, lady lol.
She makes important points and she’s proud of her son.
Load More Replies...I lost her when she said she expects to get hate, but then "there are too many people online who dish out hate without getting punched in the face". So, in her own words: if you don't like what she's saying, she'll punch you in the face. There's a theme here I don't like.
She’s referring to keyboard bravery. They don’t get punched in the face only because they bully with words in anonymity
Load More Replies...I don't condone violence but if that's what it takes to get a bully to stop, then bravo. I'd rather have my kid suspended from school knowing he stood up for himself then to sit there and take a beat down and have nothing done to the bully because face it most times, not all, but most times the kid who got bullied fights back and he/she is the one in trouble, not the other way around. Obviously a bully isn't getting the proper parenting at home
This reminds me of the time when I was getting bullied by a fifth grader when I was in Kindergarden. He wouldn't leave me alone and after he shoved me against the wall, I kicked him where it hurt and brought him to his knees. Luckily a teacher saw what happened, so I wasn't in trouble, but I did have to go to the office. I didn't see the guy after that. I don't know if he was suspended, or stopped coming to the kindergarten Hallway.
Good for the little guy!! He probably will get in trouble, but he did exactly what he should have done. This is a great story of sticking up for yourself. That bully was put in his place, and hopefully learned a lesson ...Bully's suck!!
I had a situation with my son. At 11, he was a bit of a nerd, had a very sweet disposition and a very gentle soul. Alex had a kid who repeatedly picked on him. He went through all the proper channels such as telling his teachers and principal, his parents, etc. There were meetings between the two kids with the principal and teacher as mediators and I was told the other child had other consequences at school as well ( I don’t know what happened at his home). Regardless, the bullying continued. I finally told my son that sometimes bullies will bully as long as you allow it and that he had my permission to respond physically if he felt he needed to ( he had been in tae kwon do for several years and had recently earned his black belt so her knew how to handle himself). Finally, one day, Alex came upon the bully picking on one of his friends, told him to leave him alone. The bully refused and went after Alex. Alex shoved him once, the bully backed down and never bothered him again.
I don't have any problem with your child's behavior, in fact, I think it should be applauded. Yes, obviously physical violence should be a last resort... and that's exactly how your son used it! He used words first; correctly assessed in the moment that if he didn't do something, that another child would be hurt, and he took action. People don't want to accept it, but aggression has a place in the world. I am so exhausted by all the stories of rampant bullying I hear about. I don't understand why schools, daycares, etc., don't have a more zero tolerance approach to this problem... especially when another child is bullying just for 'sport.' It doesn't sound like that was the case here, but it seems to happen a lot more than it should.
My niece was being bullied by two boys at the bus stop every single morning. They would push her down, throw her books, etc...She cried her way to school on the bus. My sister is a pacifist. She just kept telling my niece to ignore them. I taught my niece how to throw a proper punch, and if things got real bad, to kick them between their legs. Well, the next school day, after being pushed down again, she punched the kid right in the face. He ran home crying. It never happened again. I was so proud of her.
My junior high school years were hell on earth because no adult had my back, not even my parents. I've taught both my children, boy and girl, that if words won't do it and there's no adult willing to help, they have my permission and support to escalate disproportionately until the bullying stops. "Ignore them and they'll go away" is, at best, wishful thinking.
Makes me sad that it seems like the teacher was not interested in knowing what happened. Judging from the OP's account, both of the kids (even the "big bully") were ready to tell the adults what had happened but the adults (teachers) came to their own conclusions before they even hear the explanation, and thought that it wasn't necessary to hear the children's point of view. Unfortunately I have come across a lot of these teachers growing up.
My daughter had an altercation in year 5 at primary school,with a boy the same age,she pushed him and he ran away from school. I know what my daughter is like,and I am the first one to give her grief if she does something wrong. When we discussed it she said he had shoved her and she did the same back. She got into trouble from the teachers. I told her it’s never right to touch someone. It is ok to defend yourself and to help others.
If more bullies were knocked on their a**e the moment they started their manure there would be far fewer bullies.
Powerful? Really? That word is so overused. Every parent would want their kids to do this for a child getting bullied, and we all also teach our kids to defend themselves.. somebody really needed some attention and validation..
Amazing story! We almost forgot about compassion! People need to stand up for others more.
This sort of "behaviour" is characteristic of children diagnosed as "ADHD". They have little regard for their own safety and a lot of concern for the vulnerable. I have first hand experience of this same situation: one small child standing up for second small child against a larger bully. The event was never repeated, at least in front of the first child. ADHD children actually have a lot of wonderful traits if you look for them and cultivate them.
I am SO PROUD OF YOUR KID! At his young age, he knew what he needs to do, to stand up for the weak that needs his help. I am also proud of you too, for your upbringing to teach your son the good value to become a true young man. Your son did the right time at the right time given the situation that he was facing.
Such a brave kid! And an amazing mother! It is so important to start up against injustice. I hope I’m able to ingrain that into my child. The world needs more moms like her. Thank you for writing this.
Enneagram 8s - love their strength and immediacy. They teach us to empower ourselves and look after the vulnerable. ❤️
Your son and you are both heroes! People would argue that he should have gone for help from an adult, but he, admittedly, thought of the dangerous consequences of leaving the smaller boy alone. He's a quick thinker and fast actor. I have nothing but pride and respect for someone who will step in to defend some helpless other in a situation like this.
Well done you, your son and the parent of the kid doing the bullying. There comes a time where a stand has to be take on and your son stepped up.
Wow All you people labeling this a violence, IT'S NOT ! It's called growing up and part of growing up is defending yourself. A kid giving a bully a good pop is sometimes like in this case the only solution. Violence ! Violence is what's happening on our streets right now with rioters and looters. How about getting in touch with reality again. Using absurd and improper labels is a big part of the problem. Imagine if the big bully in this case was a POC then we'd be hearing this labeled as a racist hate crime. I applaud this mom for standing by her child and getting the facts first. She gets reality and she's raising some fine children by teaching them where the lines in the sand are drawn.
Katie, my hat is off to you! If more parents would teach their children to stand up to bullies whether they are picking on them or someone else, our world would be a better place. Sometimes you have to be violent when you can't get through with talk! I see no harm in how you are bringing up your children. You seem to have a very happy and wonderful family. Stay true to your beliefs no matter what. At least your children will grow up well rounded.
Kudos to your son for standing up to a bully. My dad always told me that fighting was the last resort but if its the only way let the other person throw the first punch and then end it. Fortunately I only had to use that advice one time. We have spent so much time drilling it into the heads of children that they shouldn't fight, blah blah blah. Doing this has created a society where the bully's can keep going until one day the person being bullied snaps and puts a permanent end to the situation and in doing so others pay the price too. Teach your kids that if there is no other way, then stand up to the bully, make sure he throws the first punch and then end it .
My brother was the same way as your son. Kuddos for you for raising wonderful children! I miss my brother every day (He died of cancer in 2008 as an adult) and love that I can see examples of the sort of person he was in people all around me. Gives me hope for humanity.
I remember a kid in school beating up my big brother and he wouldn't stop. I was so upset, I jumped on this kid's back and pummeled him for all I was worth (I was about 8 or 9, he was 12 or 13). I didn't get into trouble for it. There's no way a discussion would have stopped it, but my physical actions did. By the time the altercation is happening, words are too little, too late. We have to focus on setting boundaries for acceptable behavior when there is not a crisis/fight actually happening. I dare say things have improved a lot since I was a kid!
Good job! Bullies must be stopped in the making and at an early stage it is usually quite easy. The longer the abusive behavior is tolerated, the worse the situation becomes, it can even lead to death. So yes, congrats for your parenting skills!
There are an enormous amount of comments, very interesting, also, I feel this post has been a good lesson for some parents, good post !!!
Please help me understand how this works when a single child is being bullied by a group of two or more?
Just lost my Mum last week and I want to say THIS is exactly what she taught us to do. Stand up for yourself and others.
I suppose it's good way to defend, but how about yelling very loud for a teacher? A 6 year old can yell loud enough to bring the buiding down around their ears, and the toilet coudln't have been that far away from a classroom. Other than that, yep, some situations require you to take care of yourself and of those around you in a more hands on approach.
Growing up my sister and I were always taught that if someone was bullying us or anyone else to stand up to that kind of thing and we have. My big sister jumped fully clothed into a pool because I was being bullied. The bully was the lifeguard and was fired for bullying. I told off a guy in my French class because he was being rude to another student. We have got to stop bullying by whatever means are necessary.
The mother has raised her son well, as the boy helped the smaller one, that's awesome !!!
The little boy is adorable. Her son, I mean. He has really pretty eyes.
My son has a friend who is autistic. This friend is somewhere in the mid range, he can communicate but gets highly stressed easily. My son and this boy have been friends since Kindy. Last year in 5th grade my son heard that the baseball coach was not letting P play in any of the games even when team was way ahead and said that he belonged on the "special team". P does not need to be on a special team he is fully capable of playing on the normal sports teams and is very good at baseball... better than many of the "normal" players. My son wanted to go to a game just so he could yell at the coach to defend his friend...
I actually think there is one more way he can do this, and that is by dragging the other kid out of the bathroom quick to the teacher. I REALLY hope the mother still remind the kid that punching and kicking don't resolve things - the bully simply learned not to bully someone stronger. The most important thing is to teach kids who are bullies that what they do are wrong and how to love. They honestly lack it.
“the bully simply learned not to bully someone stronger” After getting checked by a much smaller child, I might conclude that he learned not to bully anyone...and the punching and kicking did resolve the problem of the little girl being brutalized. The writer’s son did nothing wrong. No offense, but I think you might be virtue signaling if I understand that term correctly
Load More Replies...It is good to see that there still NORMAL people in this sick, over sensitive world. A push is not violence, in this case. It was a little boy standing Up against a child (the bully of course ) that needed to be pushed!
This is how I've raised my kids. They're all much older now (21,21,10,19 & 16... yes there's two sets of twins there, I didn't double my numbers, no fertility medications were used. My body just decided that for the first try I got two, and even on birth control after the first 2 for pregnant with 2 more when the first 2 were 6 months old) anyhow.... they've always known this same thing! I praise this momma for her success with her kids. There are too many that aren't being taught much of anything.
My husband and I taught our youngest (who is bipolar and borderline schizophrenic) that if someone bullies her to walk away. If you can't walk away, ask them to stop. If they don't stop, look for a teacher. If there is no teacher, punch them in the nose going for the back of their head! One day her dad is teasing her. She tells him to stop. He doesn't. She tries to walk away and he won't let her. I'm sitting there, watching. She doesn't even hesitate. She pops her dad a good one to the nose! I laughed so hard. He deserved it. She was six at the time. No punishment was given.
No, no and NO.. My kids were bullying few kids.. Even hit.. And i know my kids.. They didint hit but say back.. When i try to solv this fight other kids allways say that blame was my kids.. They know how to lie They momy dear.. And momy dear allways told me that my kids are angeles.. -.- if you kids dont learn solv problem whitout violence.. When they are adults jail will be adress soon.. Sorry learn them make noice..
I stopped reading at "My Enneagram 8 if I ever met one". What the hell does this mean? Keep your b******t fancy pants over expressive writing along with your pic of basket of fresh vegetables to yourself. Here's the story without reading as it's been told countless time and happens many times everyday... "Kid bullied my kid, my kid fought back and all's good" Done!
Look at it this way: even fancy-pants parents can be sensible on the issue of bullying
Load More Replies...Yes leave your friend who is getting thrown around by a bigger kid instead of defending him.....
Load More Replies...I am so sorry that this is happening to you every where in life there are a******s especially ones who hide behind a keyboard they were probably bullied themselves and it makes them feel good don't let anyone put you down you are special and your beautiful fur baby needs you you will do just fine going on being you take care and have a lovely time over the holidays )0(
Load More Replies...Unless you think the poster is lying, both sides were presented. The kid admitted to pushing the other kid. Did you even read the post?
Load More Replies...
263
112