“I Thought He Overreacted”: Woman Borrows Her Husband’s Work Laptop And Doesn’t Get Why He’s Mad As She Bought It For Him
When you give someone a gift, it’s theirs, and if you would like to use it sometimes, you now need to ask permission as you lose all ownership of that thing. But sometimes people feel like they can still use that thing, especially if it was more expensive.
This woman bought her husband a computer to use for work and one time she took it to log into Facebook right before her husband went to work. She didn’t ask permission or even say anything to him, so he left without the computer in his backpack. The wife didn’t completely understand why he was so mad at her because he had that computer only because she bought it for him.
More info: Reddit
Woman surprised by her husband’s reaction after she borrowed his work laptop seeks comfort online, but nobody can justify what she did
Image credits: JESHOOTS (not the actual image)
The Original Poster (OP) was having trouble logging into her Facebook account on her computer. She thought that the issue might be the device itself, so she thought of trying to connect on her husband’s computer.
The thing is, she didn’t ask permission or even warn her husband. She just took it from his backpack that he had prepared before going to work and allowed him to leave without it.
The husband quickly realized his computer wasn’t in his backpack and called his wife, who explained why she needed to use it. The man didn’t think that logging onto Facebook was a good reason to take his computer, but the woman reminded him that she bought it, suggesting she can use it whenever she wants, ignoring the fact that the husband could have gotten in big trouble for that.
The woman believed the husband overreacted and there was no need to snap, even though he had a horrible day at work because of her irresponsibility.
The author of the story couldn’t log into Facebook on her own computer so she took her husband’s from his bag
Image credits: u/Fannes43
Almost everyone in the comments said the same thing, which is that the computer was a gift, so it is now the husband’s, and she needs to ask permission before taking it. What is worse, it was his work laptop, so if he had confidential and sensitive information on it, he could have been seriously punished for not protecting it enough.
Her thinking that logging onto Facebook is more important than her husband having his work laptop with him at work showed how irresponsible she was and that she didn’t respect her husband’s job.
It may have been that the wife just didn’t think at that moment about what consequences her actions may cause, but her bringing up that the laptop was a gift from her suggests that she doesn’t fully understand what a gift means.
She didn’t ask or tell her husband about it, and the worst part is that it was his work laptop and he left without it
Image credits: Ono Kosuki (not the actual image)
The wife didn’t think it was a big deal as she was the one who bought the laptop, ignoring her husband telling her he was in trouble because of her
Image credits: u/Fannes43
Giving a gift is not a transaction and the gifter shouldn’t expect to get something in return. Psych Central says that “A gift is an act of altruism, of generosity. The point of gift-giving is to show love and appreciation for another person.”
However, some people may describe the thing they are giving to you as a gift, but it may come with strings attached. Medium explains “Humans are strongly reciprocal in nature. Healthy relationships are built on giving and getting in return. A gulf in reciprocity creates a power imbalance. This is why gifts are a common tool for manipulation.”
Relationship consultant Stacy Ann claims that weaponizing gifts is a narcissistic trait, “Many narcissists will use gifts as leverage in their relationships instead of a way to show affection and that they care.” For them, giving gifts is a means to gain control or that they could use themselves. They might also give you expensive gifts to make you feel bad about not matching the value.
Image credits: Fausto Sandoval (not the actual image)
What were your thoughts when you were reading the story? Do you think it might have been more than just an accident considering the husband was not putting up with her behavior? Voice your opinions in the comments.
The majority of redditors said the same thing, which was that the laptop was a gift and it belonged to the husband, but because he used it for work, that made it even worse
All of this could have been avoided if she only asked for permission. The "I bought you this, so I can take it without asking" mentality shows the person either doesn't respect their s.o-s belongings or is just immature.
All of this could have been avoided if they would have respected that it is work laptop and not a toy. She could have got him fired and sued ffs. When will people ever learn?
Load More Replies...I'm curious as to why his work place is not supplying him a laptop for work purposes. Unless it's his company
She’d probably appropriate that laptop without telling him as well.
Load More Replies...She could have just done Facebook from her phone like most people do these days. You don't need a computer to look at social media.
Why do people always have to use the "i bought it" line. Irks me ugh
My husband needs his laptop for work everyday and since he is technically a freelancer, all equipment costs are his. About once a year I need to update my bank certificate and the websites never work right on my laptops, I literally can't install all the security programs because they look like viruses. Even with this actual *important* need, I ALWAYS ask to use his laptop or ask him to bring it home unless he is sleeping. I do update his laptop while he is sleeping. It's just common courtesy, just like if I borrow his laptop. Hell, my toddler asks to use my tablet. How does a 2yo have better manners than an adult?
If her husband use the laptop for work, sometimes it can contains delicate or important files. What if, because of that he got fired? Or if the trust that he built with the company was broken? Facebook versus work, and she didn't think that it could be something else happened on why she unable to log in?
If his work were that sensitive, it's hard for me to believe the company would let him use his own computer for work at all.
Load More Replies..."Hey, honey, can I borrow you laptop?" See, it's not so hard. Just ask. It doesn't matter who bought it.
I really hope you learn when a gift is given, no matter to whom, it doesn't give you the right to use, or keep it. My father is king of , I bought it for you , but it's really mine. As a child , it hurt when I would receive a gift (4 wheeler ) , my dad told everyone he got me an awesome expensive gift... behind closed doors.. I rode it for 10 mins. It had been used for more than 20 hours, by my Dad. (It had an hour usage meter on it ) however it was MY big birthday gift when I was 15. **bottom line ** get over yourself, when your married, or the parent, it doesn't make you "king or queen of all things " . I personally want my husband to thrive, it makes him feel good about himself. It's very apparent you don't care about him, his day, only your day matters. Grow up!! This isn't playing house, it's real life .
YTA. Just because you bought it for him, doesn't justify what you did, and stop holding the fact that you bought it for him over his head 😑 She couldn't just use her phone? It's Facebook. What's the real reason for needing that laptop, ma'am? 🤔
Op is TA as is his work which does not supply laptops to their employees.
This isn't a lapse of judgement. This woman is one big red flag. Probably never worked a minute in her life, it's all about her her her, no sense of responsibility or accountability. No self-awareness, hence the cry for support from strangers, and even though the net is full of crazy agreeing to everything, she did not get what she was looking for. That alone should make the case clear.
All of this could have been avoided if she only asked for permission. The "I bought you this, so I can take it without asking" mentality shows the person either doesn't respect their s.o-s belongings or is just immature.
All of this could have been avoided if they would have respected that it is work laptop and not a toy. She could have got him fired and sued ffs. When will people ever learn?
Load More Replies...I'm curious as to why his work place is not supplying him a laptop for work purposes. Unless it's his company
She’d probably appropriate that laptop without telling him as well.
Load More Replies...She could have just done Facebook from her phone like most people do these days. You don't need a computer to look at social media.
Why do people always have to use the "i bought it" line. Irks me ugh
My husband needs his laptop for work everyday and since he is technically a freelancer, all equipment costs are his. About once a year I need to update my bank certificate and the websites never work right on my laptops, I literally can't install all the security programs because they look like viruses. Even with this actual *important* need, I ALWAYS ask to use his laptop or ask him to bring it home unless he is sleeping. I do update his laptop while he is sleeping. It's just common courtesy, just like if I borrow his laptop. Hell, my toddler asks to use my tablet. How does a 2yo have better manners than an adult?
If her husband use the laptop for work, sometimes it can contains delicate or important files. What if, because of that he got fired? Or if the trust that he built with the company was broken? Facebook versus work, and she didn't think that it could be something else happened on why she unable to log in?
If his work were that sensitive, it's hard for me to believe the company would let him use his own computer for work at all.
Load More Replies..."Hey, honey, can I borrow you laptop?" See, it's not so hard. Just ask. It doesn't matter who bought it.
I really hope you learn when a gift is given, no matter to whom, it doesn't give you the right to use, or keep it. My father is king of , I bought it for you , but it's really mine. As a child , it hurt when I would receive a gift (4 wheeler ) , my dad told everyone he got me an awesome expensive gift... behind closed doors.. I rode it for 10 mins. It had been used for more than 20 hours, by my Dad. (It had an hour usage meter on it ) however it was MY big birthday gift when I was 15. **bottom line ** get over yourself, when your married, or the parent, it doesn't make you "king or queen of all things " . I personally want my husband to thrive, it makes him feel good about himself. It's very apparent you don't care about him, his day, only your day matters. Grow up!! This isn't playing house, it's real life .
YTA. Just because you bought it for him, doesn't justify what you did, and stop holding the fact that you bought it for him over his head 😑 She couldn't just use her phone? It's Facebook. What's the real reason for needing that laptop, ma'am? 🤔
Op is TA as is his work which does not supply laptops to their employees.
This isn't a lapse of judgement. This woman is one big red flag. Probably never worked a minute in her life, it's all about her her her, no sense of responsibility or accountability. No self-awareness, hence the cry for support from strangers, and even though the net is full of crazy agreeing to everything, she did not get what she was looking for. That alone should make the case clear.
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