Victoria McClain • upvoted 20 items 2 months ago

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

OP's not responsible for protecting his fragile ego, nor is she responsible with how he handled the result. I hope Rebecca wises up and dumps him instead of expecting everyone else to make him feel masculine.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

This is what comes from men using women as a means to insult other men (and also just the idea that we’re inferior at everything in general). Feminizing male names as an insult, saying things like “you throw like a girl”, etc. Recently on this site John Cena was derogatorily called John Xina, which was said to mean “Christina”…Nobody seemed to bat an eye at that. Men invented the whole notion that losing to a girl is the ultimate humiliation, yet women are the ones expected to change to accommodate this ridiculous notion, at the expense of our own dignity. And women have been doing this forever, and many still don’t even see the issue. It’s literally The Who Killed Hannibal meme irl

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Im sorry but what did i just read?? "You challenged me to a dog walk!" Um okay? Sooo you insecure about yourself? What i have assessed is the mirror effect between Rebecca and said other female. The dude was a sore loser thus he must be in control and must look better in the picture. Sooo super toxic immature adult aka Rebeccas boyfriend. I hope she dumps him and good on you advising her to get reality check i hope all turned out fine in the end

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

This reminds me of one of my uncles. He talks himself up like he's the best at everything he does. And the sulks when he loses. When I was a young teen he wanted to play a fighting game on his PS. I won the first game. He says he's off his game and we need to go another round...ok I won the second game. Suddenly his controllers not working properly and thats why he lost. Suddenly I'm being skipped for turns now. He then makes fun of me as "joking" when I decide to leave the room because what's the point if he doesn't want me to play anymore? The. I'm the bad guy cause I left for being left out lol 😅 He also does this on boardgames. The men in my family would all play Risk together on holidays. They eventually gave up playing because my uncle would get mad when he would loose and would say everyone was ganging up on him to make him loose. Now he gets mad that no one wants to stay and play the boardgame. He also doesn't understand why no one wants to ever play with him. He's 50 now 🙄

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Ah, the old dog walk challenge... Classic.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

I can be a little over competitive sometimes but I've just wasted time trying to make "wanna walk the dog with us?" sound like a challenge...failed...sorry

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

It's an interesting question. Maybe he believes simply being male means he should win at any physical challenge. The test is whether he's only like this with women or with men as well.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Joe is toxic and a potential physical abuser once the verbal abuse escalates—-and it always escalates. Rebecca is being gaslit into believing Joe is never at fault, but everyone else is. She is in the first stages of an abusive relationship. Eventually, Joe will start hitting her because someone else, most likely a woman who is simply better than he is at something, made him feel “emasculated” or “challenged” and he’s whipped himself up into a real fury and she’s the nearest target. God forbid Rebecca ever succeeds at something and Joe thinks she’s the one “emasculating” him, as she could end up dead (it’s actually happened, so therefore isn’t outside the realm of real possibility). The OP just needs to gently reinforce to Rebecca that, when she’s ready to get Joe out of her life, the OP—-and everyone else she can gather to help—-will be right there by her side to make sure Joe doesn’t decide that’s emasculating and take out his rage on her. Abused women need to keep people around them as a shield against their abusers, until the danger of retaliation passes, or to help them quietly leave town and change her name to get away if it doesn’t (kind of like a civilian version of witness protection). OP should also strongly advise Rebecca not to ever marry Joe, no matter how “sweet” he starts to act, because it is just an act to manipulate her, and especially not to have a baby with him, so that when she leaves all ties to Joe can be permanently severed.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Joe basically wants women to let him win. He feels entitled. If he'll behave like this on the most trivial thing, how will that play out on the important issues d'y think?

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

This could have been solved by saying "Emasculate. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means"🤺

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Also, if friends realize that playing together wasn't a great idea, the good ones will show grace in saying so. Examples: "I think I'll wait until I've had some practice on my own before playing again" or "I can give you pointers if you're interested". If people can't find the words right away, they can sleep on it, then think of how to word or how to respond to another invitation.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

OP is NTA especially since Joe was ok with losing to the husband. He's obviously got issues with losing to women. I will just say though that if the two teams are so vastly mismatched with beginners vs experts, don't expect a lot of playing with them in the future, even if he didn't act like a baby. It's not that fun to play when you know you'll never have a chance to win against someone with years of experience on you. I wouldn't expect elementary students to have much fun playing against a high school team. It's also not that challenging to play if you're the experts playing against new players. The high school team isn't learning any skills playing against the elementary kids. I understand this was a friendly game but if I'm playing against friends who don't know the game well (op admitted this was GF and Joe's first few games ever) I'll hold off a bit so both parties can have some fun. It's a friendly game between friends, not the Olympics.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Sounds like she's not the first to validate this behavior

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Joe will become an abuser, controlling and manipulating - if he isn't already. Rebecca is also empowering him by her behavior - watch out when he gets angry, he will hit.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Joe is a total dumpster fire, he needs to go find himself a broom to date. although, he might be intimidated if he dates a Swiffer, he’d better stick with good ole dollar store brooms.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Good on you! Being challenged in anything by anyone only makes us better players of the game. It's the only way to really improve our skills. Not only that but you are creating a true bond and a wonderful example to your daughter. As the James Baldwin quote goes, "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

I’’ve got an 11 year old daughter who is a mean basketball player, we play in our yard and she whips me week in week out, am I there to win? Of course, she even allows me to over celebrate my infrequent points but you can bet on her for the match win. What am I really there for? Sport, fun and the never ending hope I get to within 5 points of her final score. If your ego can’t handle losing a game then just park your backside and let those who know how to participate properly get on with it. No one is too good to lose, your age, sex, colour of hair, number of fingers or indeed toes makes no difference, when you meet someone better, fitter, faster or smarter than you then all you do is play, play for the enjoyment of sharing and learning their tricks, get better, laugh about it, earn the next point and realise that you ain’t playing in a SuperBowl or an FA Cip Final. Even more important than that, leave any disappointment on the court, taking it out on someone else is just weak.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Poor Rebecca, who has fallen into the trap of blaming anyone but her BF for his behaviour and herself for letting him get away with it. One of my biggest life lessons has been not walking on eggshells round anyone. Most of us who do it learned it young from having difficult parents, so a hard habit to break.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

Thank you...omg...thank you. I'm normally a nice guy; but Ive been known go out of my way to p**s boys like this off. For the sole purpose of introducing them to humble pie...I do try to be good.

"Am I The Jerk For 'Emasculating' A Guy By Winning Against Him In A Game?"

These are the types of people that make men look bad

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