Cats. Many people I know absolutely despise them because they think they cant love you the way some dogs can, or they remind you of the stereotype "crazy cat person" or the whole "they're all aggressive/bitey/scratchy" thing. Once I had both dogs and cats (and reptiles!) in my house - and though I love both, cats tended to speak a little louder to me. I'm part of a TNR company and ended up raising one of the cats I caught while searching for my missing cat last month and realized how sweet they can be if you take the time to earn their trust and give them space when it's asked for.
In my family I - as the father - am the rock and immovable point where everything hinges on. The stoic calm eye of the storm.
I once started to open up to my wife about what worries me and she almost had a nervous breakdown and I ended up consoling her for an hour. And it was some of the rather tame [stuff] I deal with all the time.
I stopped opening up about my worries towards her after that. I have a friend or two I can share heavy stuff with, but not with my partner. I tell her about stuff once it is solved.
"You should open up to me more!"
Example of something current? The smell of desinfectant triggers painful memories of the death of my first daughter (NICU, 27 days old). Luckily you can't see my face under the mask in public, where there is a desinfectant station at every shop. I barely flinch at the pain anymore.
"You look grumpy today?"
"Grocery shopping was... exhausting. Everything is fine."
I don’t like opening up to anyone even today, after two years of anti depressants and six months of therapy. I can’t open up to my mom because she would end up using it against me, maybe immediately, maybe later. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She’s been through a great deal and tried her level best to not let that [stuff] reach us ( my brother and I),but to err is human. My dad is what your typical Indian dad is, a stoic guy, not expressing himself( kind of like the meme of that dog sitting in a room on fire). Add to that his emotionally distant parents and him joining the army at 17 to become an officer and you have this absolutely thick exterior that doesn’t let anything through. I work as a doctor in Delhi. Everyone around is dying. Bright eyed juniors I knew, people I said goodbye to not knowing it would be the last opportunity I’d get, patients and their hapless families, grieving mothers/ fathers/ wives/ husbands/ parents/ children. None of them deserved it and I feel that somehow I’m to blame. I can’t just man up every time. Sorry I started this diatribe. Had to get it out somewhere.
I went to therapy and my therapist advised me to let down my guard to my girlfriend. She lost all attraction to me, shared my issues with her whole friend group for “her support”, and then broke up with me. Life will teach you lessons the hard way whenever possible.
I opened up about my home situation in primary school to my teachers. it was about how my dad has a fuse the size of a microbe and can be verbally..abusive. my teacher told my parents what I told her. needless to say my dad was pissed and I didnt dare to talk about this stuff to “trust persons” till last year (16 years later)
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