One time I tried to fart while playing online poker really late while my girlfriend was asleep. About half of the fart came out before I realized more was on its way out too. I caught that before it was too late and jumped up and started to run to the bathroom. I had headphones on and yanked my head to the left and pulled my tower over as I kicked a 25 lb weight on the floor, broke my toe and then [poop] all over myself.
I was trying to kill a cockroach by squishing it on my carpet with a paper towel but it would not die. So I picked it up with the paper towel but for some reason I didn't crush it and it started to get on my hand, so I started sprinting to throw it in the toilet. I slipped and fell on one of those big candles with three wicks in a glass jar.
Lots of blood and 10 stitches later, there is now a 2.5-inch scar on my leg and I didn't even kill the roach. I got my ass beat by a cockroach.
I popped my kneecap 90 degree to the left by wearing socks on a slippery floor. I was just walking and somehow lost control and POP.
Sneezed. Threw my back out. Couldn't work for a week. Could barely walk the first couple days. I was 27.