In freshman year of college, my friend of about two years got kicked out of his parents house. He said he needed somewhere to stay "for the night" till his parents cooled off.
I said you can stay a week if you want but more than that and you'll need to pay me rent (he made pretty good money, more than me even). I was kind of hoping to find someone to split the bills with anyway.
A week rolls by and he hasn't even looked for another place. His parents aren't letting him come back.
I ask him if he's going to stay, he says "if it's alright with you" I say sure, just pay me half the cost of the apt every month. He said he can't (I know damn well he can). I say "well then you gotta go"
He asked if he could stay another week. I said no. He got pissed at me for that. I then got pissed at him for getting pissed at me. I gave you a place to stay and you are mad at me??? Totally ended the friendship.
Never let anyone into your place unless you have a signed contract
I was working at a fast food place when I was a student. I usually did overtime to help everyone clean up and close the restaurant until about 1am because we were so understaffed.
I guess people got used to me staying late because one night when I was supposed to finish at 11, I overheard some of my colleagues (the stereotypical mean girls) say how bad the clients had cluttered everything tonight and how it was going to be a mess to clean up. Then they say 'but hey, [me] is gonna stay late tonight again, let's leave it to her, she always does the cleaning anyways', followed by laughing and some b****** about me.
That night I clocked out at 11 after doing all of my tasks at the counter and left. The girls stared at me in shock and when I was outside I saw one of them standing in the middle of the restaurant with her hand on her forehead, looking at the mess she would have to clean before going home.
Weirdly, after that day, they started cleaning earlier without waiting for me to do everything!
Met a guy who had hit a rough patch. We had great chemistry and he made me laugh (ugh the bar was SO low). He gave me a sob story of why he was getting kicked out of his communal house and I offered to let him stay with me because I live alone and have my own place.
HUGE MISTAKE! He hadn't hit a rough patch, he was the rough patch. Barely paid for anything and would get wasted while I was at work and be a total ass hole when I got home. Got fired from his job, ate all the food I'd buy and make excuses as to why he hadn't found another job yet. The absolute kicker was when I went home for my Nonna's funeral, he treated it like a mini vacation in my place. Invited friends over, played music so loud the cops got called and when he was supposed to pick me up from the airport, he was wasted at someone's house at 8 am. Never felt better than the day I kicked him out. No more financial and emotional abuse. Finally felt like my place was mine again.
I've learned an expensive lesson. Don't help people that won't help themselves. When nothing is their fault, there's a serious issue. Run fast and far.
I was 17 and still in school. The corridors were empty as my teacher sent me out to go do her a job. So I was just walking down the corridor when this girl carrying a bunch of books bumped into me and she dropped the books (like you see in a movie) so I apologise because I wasn’t really paying attention and I bend down and get the books for her and hand them to her expecting at least a small thanks. But no. Instead this chick had to say “I have a boyfriend so never ever purposely bump into me just so I can talk to you. You should’ve walked away.” As she begins to turn away I grab her shoulder which makes her turn around and I knock the books out of her hand and say “now that was on purpose” and I walked away whilst she was stood there speechless. Some of you may think that was messed up but I don’t really regret a single bit of it as she got was she deserved.
Worked in Baton Rouge for a decade (1999-2009) and would regularly give the homeless I saw around town - generously if I can say that without being a douche bag.
In 2008 I was on a run for work and a guy caught me near the Target on Siegen lane. He had nothing he was homeless and on top of it had been robbed an hour ago. No worries, empty my wallet for the man, we all need help. Coming out of the shopping complex I see him hiding in the bushes opening a pack of smokes on a laptop while on his iPhone.
Then a month later, saw a man I regularly donated to on Government street. I would catch him on weekends - but this weekend my drop-offs started early so I saw him as he arrived in downtown BR. I sat behind the TV station waiting for a pick-up, and this cat gets out of a new car, changes into dirty clothes and grabs his sign from the trunk and heads off to his corner.
I have given food and connected people with charities, but I have not given a penny to a "beggar" since then.
Somebody put one one of those "free items" sites on Facebook that she needed an outdoor playscape thing for her kids who were going crazy during quarantine. My kids are now older, but we had this cool plastic Little Tykes "fort" that was in great shape (those things are beasts). It had a slide and a little play area. Perfect for the age her kids were. I drive a pickup so even offered to deliver it. She went full [beggar mode] on me and said she was looking for a more elaborate one with more things to do. Like the giant wooden ones. Good luck lady. I'm done with you all.
The day I realized that no one wanted to help me in return.
Look it's not about doing something for someone to get something back and I will ALWAYS help whoever I can that needs it. But when the same people consistently ask for help or money or what have you, without actually wanting to help you when you need it, or just hang out or be friendly in general, it's a huge red flag.
One day I found a puppy, dirty, hungry, and just scared and lost. I gave him a good meal, and some love, and went to drop him off at the address on his collar.
The dude thanked me, then proceeded to beat the crap out of the dog (telling me to mind my own business when I tried to get him to stop), carried him by his collar to a 5 ft short chain in a muddy patch with a crappy broken 3-wall "doghouse" where im guessing the dog spent 100% of it's time.
I called the cops, but they did nothing (the dog technically had shelter, which qualifies bc 3 walls and a roof, even if it was filled with holes and it gets 20° at night here.)
ps. I stole the dog 3 weeks later.
I used to frequently stay late at work for clients who showed up to the veterinary clinic last-minute with a non-emergency problem and no appointment. Then three times in a row, three different people were told up front about the after hours fee, agreed to pay it instead of scheduling an appointment for the next day, and all of them called back the next day fussing that they shouldn’t have been charged extra for keeping us 30-60 minutes past our scheduled hours and that we were terrible and trying to scam them by charging for our time (even though we told them up front and they had another option). It was exhausting and demoralizing- we did more than we had to for them after already working a full day because a desire to help is why we’re all here in the first place, and they responded by saying our time was worth nothing and we suck. The entire staff said “f*** that.”
Now - unless it’s a literal life and death situation - if we can’t fit someone in before closing and they didn’t have an appointment it’s a firm no. I’m in this profession to help others and I still work late for real emergencies when they happen or if an appointment runs longer than expected, but I’m done sacrificing my personal time for entitled people who don’t actually need it.