Met a guy who had hit a rough patch. We had great chemistry and he made me laugh (ugh the bar was SO low). He gave me a sob story of why he was getting kicked out of his communal house and I offered to let him stay with me because I live alone and have my own place.
HUGE MISTAKE! He hadn't hit a rough patch, he was the rough patch. Barely paid for anything and would get wasted while I was at work and be a total ass hole when I got home. Got fired from his job, ate all the food I'd buy and make excuses as to why he hadn't found another job yet. The absolute kicker was when I went home for my Nonna's funeral, he treated it like a mini vacation in my place. Invited friends over, played music so loud the cops got called and when he was supposed to pick me up from the airport, he was wasted at someone's house at 8 am. Never felt better than the day I kicked him out. No more financial and emotional abuse. Finally felt like my place was mine again.
I've learned an expensive lesson. Don't help people that won't help themselves. When nothing is their fault, there's a serious issue. Run fast and far.
Partner and I moved provinces, only family in our new area is partners aunt and uncle and their kids about an hour from us. They invited us down for Christmas a few years ago. Nothing too fancy, just family. Cool. They’re pretty religious and we’re pretty gay, so I’m always a touch hesitant spending a lot of time, but it was Christmas and family and yadda yadda yadda.
We get there and I ask if they need any help with anything, just general good guest stuff. The aunt then reveals that the reason they invited us was for me to help in the cooking of the turkey and sides. I’m a good cook, and I don’t mind helping out and she’s not the most confident cook so it’s not a huge deal. So I follow her to the kitchen and nothing has been done. Like. Turkey is still in the plastic. She says the oven is a bit finicky and that she’ll leave me to it.
Like. Literally expected me to come and cook them the whole Christmas dinner. My partner was out in the yard with his cousins playing on a frozen pond, his aunt and uncle were drinking in their living room, and I’m pretty well being treated as the help for the next few hours.
Partner comes in and sees me in the kitchen, comes and chats and realizes the reason we got invited was for me to cook for them. He’s pissed. I’m just carrying on. I serve up dinner, we eat, and then we leave right away.
A couple days later he chews his aunt out on the phone and we haven’t seen them since. Evidently in the call she had made some comment about not abiding by our “lifestyle choice” but made an exception cuz of the way my partners mother raved about my cooking.
My mother and her new husband had moved into a new place and invited all the "kids" over for Christmas.
In previous years we would buy a whole turkey dinner from somewhere so no one (me) had to cook, so imagine my surprise when my husband and I walk in, my mother walks out of the kitchen, hands me a spoon and says, "Good, you're finally here", and goes to sit down in the living room.
After a quick and awkward conversation, it was determined that my job was to make sure everything currently in progress (or not even started) got to the table on time, while everyone else socialized. Basically, I was the help and should have realized that, so any feelings I had about that were my fault. I was a good cook, and my mother taught me everything (not) so I owed her.
So I did, and not knowing the family dynamics, my new step siblings were very thankful and appreciative of all my efforts, which caused a meltdown from my mother about how we all should be thanking HER.
That was the first time I used a phrase that has come in handy for these situations, "I'm so sorry, it will never happen again."
And it never did. They weren't happy when they finally realized what that meant.
A “friend” of mine borrowed a game off me once. About month later I remembered an asked for it. he told me he couldn’t give it back because he gave it to his younger brother for his birthday ... would have asked for money but i knew it would have been difficult and the way I saw it, was easier to just lose him as a friend. His friendship was worth less than the value of a cheap game