There are several ways to mark such a joyous occasion as one’s birthday. First, there’s the unsurpassed classic of getting your friends and family together for a celebratory dinner, cake, and maybe some beverages afterward. Then there’s the weekend escape with your loved one to a cozy place somewhere. Then, of course, if you work in an office or anywhere with other people involved, there’s the inevitably awkward congratulation cake and limp-fish handshake party. But you know what could make this kind of a get-together even more unpalatable? Cringy birthday puns! But, as you’re about to see, cringy wordplay could also be good, at least at relieving the tension of having to sit through your coworkers’ rendition of the Happy Birthday song performed off-key and off-beat. And if you’d serve these creative puns at a one-per-minute rate, you might just have the cake and eat it too (as your comrades will definitely announce an early end to the party). 

Since you, our dedicated reader, already know that we just can’t get enough of unique puns dedicated to some specific topic, it’s probably no surprise that we also made a list of original puns meant to mark the passing of your years. Of course, there will be funny puns about commemoratory cakes, exultant presents, and birthday wishes. There will also be some clever puns on you getting older and none the wiser. In other words - exactly what the doctor prescribed to make your birthday an exclusive occasion. That is if you choose to serve these fun puns to your party guests. If not - it’s entirely your choice, but then your affair will undoubtedly lack some pomp. 

Anyway, funny jokes or not - birthdays are always worthy of a celebration! And whether you are picking some birthday puns for your own jubilee or to be scribbled onto a greeting card and lousily shoved into your friend’s hand - you’ll find what you seek for just a couple of inches below. So don’t forget to vote for these lame puns and tell us which ones did you like the most!

#1

Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

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#2

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

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#3

Kids are so easy to buy for. My younger sister said she loves anything Frozen. I got her some frozen peas and pop tarts, can't wait to see the look on her face.

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#4

I need glasses to read my birthday cards. Wine glasses.

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing like a soft, velvety Merlot to make those birthday cards funnier than they actually are...

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#5

Be careful. Too many birthdays will kill you.

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#6

Why do we put candles on top of the birthday cake?

It’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

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#7

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye, matey!

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Marianne Saiso
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For all the other coffee- and sleep-deprived humans: it sound's like: "I'm eighty".

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#8

How do raccoons celebrate their birthdays?

They get trashed.

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Ragnhild Nilsen
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the funniest part of that joke is that the six year old telling it has absolutely no idea what "getting trashed" really means.

#9

You know what goes up and never comes down?

Your age.

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#10

How does a cat celebrate its birthday?

By turning up the mewsic.

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, it’s clawing the furniture and not getting in trouble for it 😋

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#11

There’s nothing better than presents from friends and family on your birthday. Unless it’s the presence of friends and family on your birthday.

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#12

My girlfriend asked for a ring for her birthday, so I don't know why she hung up the phone when I called.

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#13

This whole birthday thing is getting old. Don’t you think?

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#14

What type of music is scary for birthday balloons?

Pop music.

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aside from the joke aspect, balloons really, really need to stop being a thing...they’re so bad for the environment and kill so many creatures. Sea turtles run the risk of extinction because of them.

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#15

Where do you get a birthday present for your cat?

A catalog.

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Vicky Z
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any warehouse! Just pick a box

#16

I wanted to write some chemistry puns in your card, but I wasn't sure if I'd get a reaction.

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#17

What’s a ghost’s favorite cake?

I-scream cake.

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#18

You know you’re getting old when caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haaaaaahaha, this one is pretty brilliant !

#19

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest.

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Micah
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd like to see some data supporting this claim.

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#20

Happy birthday, lettuce turnip the beet!

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#21

What kind of birthday cake did Peter Pan receive?

A pan-cake!

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#22

Why do people write on birthday cakes?

Because everyone wants to have their cake and read it too.

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#23

You feta have a…gouda birthday.

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Robert T
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These jokes are getting mighty cheesy. But you can't diss a brie.

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#24

That birthday party was gelato fun.

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Eagle Girl
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No party is That much fun with gelato

#25

What does a turtle do on his birthday?

He shell-a-brates.

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#26

I bought you a loaf of bread for your birthday toast.

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#27

Go ahead cake my day.

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Mary Rose Kent
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What time is cake time? ANY time is cake time!

#28

So, you’re spaghetting older.

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#29

What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday?

Happy birthday to ewe!

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Judah Phelps
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Happy birthday to ewe, Happy birthday to ewe Happy birthday dear Mary Happy birthday to eeeeeeewe!

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#30

I always get emotional on my birthday. Even my cake is in tiers.

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Judah Phelps
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂📖🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂

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Note: this post originally had 150 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.