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We’re pretty big fans of history, back in school, as well as now. But hidden among the tales about treaties, important battles, and biographies of the people who helped shape the world as we live in now, are some truly epic tidbits that you might not know about. These are moments in history that are—there’s really no other word for it—cool. And they’re what some of us may have been regaling our friends with at dinner parties to show off how much we know.

Courage. Charisma. Grit. Valor. Wisdom. These are the things that help people stand out from the crowds and the ocean of events that happen every day. That and the need for revenge. The historians of Reddit shared some of the biggest 'go to hell' moments in history, and they’re far too good not to share with you, dear Pandas. Though be warned, some of them are quite gory. But that's history for you.

If this won’t spark an interest in history inside your soul, then probably nothing will. Scroll down, upvote the historical stories that impressed you the most, and share the ones you know but the historians may have missed in the comments. Be sure to take notes… there’s going to be a test on this at the end of the semester.

#1

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered The story of Khutulun, who was Genghis Khan's great-great-granddaughter. She said she would marry whomever could beat her in a wrestling contest. If she won though, they had to give her 100 horses.

She died unmarried, with 10,000 horses.

CircusMasterKlaus , wikipedia Report

#2

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered How about the moment slaves in Haiti realized they outnumbered their captors almost 10 to 1, revolted, and ultimately won their independence.

Amenra7 , wikipedia Report

#3

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered In the 1970s the small town of Vulcan, West Virginia asked for state funding to replace a bridge into town. The state legislature refused to grant Vulcan the funding they needed. Instead the town appealed to the Soviet Union for aid. After hearing about the request, the state legislature immediately granted over $1 million for the town to build a new bridge.

If a small town in WV asking for soviet funding in the middle of the Cold War isn’t a big middle finger to the state government, then I don’t know what is.

NuggetBiscuits69 Report

As with all things in life, it’s best to take everything with a grain of salt. Getting to the truth about what happened is difficult enough in modern times. Though some things become clearer as more time passes and the emotional background attached to certain events ebbs away, some details and nuances also get lost. So getting to grips with what actually happened is a ton of work. This is why we value historians so much.

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That’s not to say that there are no epic moments in history, full of defiance, puffed-out chests, and pride practically oozing out of everyone’s pores. There are. But the thing about stories is that they have to capture the listener’s and reader’s imagination. When retelling a certain tale, a person (whether in 2022 or centuries ago) might embellish certain aspects while leaving some details by the wayside. And with each retelling, the story might be closer to a myth than cold hard facts.

Epic moments make for great stories. However, you can’t assume that everyone telling on “the front page of the internet” will be as objective as they would when writing a history book or debating things with their colleagues. Did these epic moments happen? Definitely. But there’s always more context to be had, and that’s part of the appeal: these posts inspire you to dig a bit deeper about Bismarck, Napoleon, and pirate Jean Lafitte.

#4

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Galvarino: Chilean warrior who had both his hands cut off by the conquistadors for raising arms against the Spanish. Instead of letting himself serve as a message of helplessness in the face of the invaders the crazy bastard strapped swords to his stumps and went on the warpath.

-Inaros Report

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Christina Webster
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a great uncle who had both arms blown off just above the elbow in a mining accident when he was a teenager. He was the sole breadwinner for his family since his father had died in a different non-mining explosion, so he was only gone a week or so before he returned to the mine with some sort of mallets or hammers strapped to his arms. He was given a new job and did so well that he was eventually hired by the local fire department to assist in knocking down doors to enter buildings and do other such tasks. It's obviously not as badass as that warrior but it reminded me of it.

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#5

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Olga of Kiev. When her husband died, the country that killed him assumed they’d just take over and force her into marriage.

She straight up killed the dignitaries that were sent to tell her she had to marry - multiple times, in the most intense way possible.

She then travelled to where her husband had been killed and basically burnt the place to the ground - again, in the most hardcore, amazing way.

They made her a freaking saint. Worth the read on Wikipedia!

TeAforempires , Nikolay Bruni Report

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Nicole Weymann
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very badass and hardcore, but I don't hold with idolizing people for killing sprees, organized or otherwise

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#6

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Ferruccio Lamborghini was a rich man owning his company that built tractors, he talked to Ferrari about the imperfections of his car and how to improve them and they basically laughed at a young tractor mechanic trying to tell them about sport cars, so he decided to start making luxury sport cars to compete with Ferrari and thus, the rivalry was born. So i'd say the middle finger of this guy to Ferrari was pretty noticeable.

Billyjeter , wikipedia Report

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Steve
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew a guy named Al Burtoni (RIP). He told Lamborghini how to make their cars better. I guess they remembered their own lesson, because they flew him to their factory every year. True story, look him up, The Godfather of Lamborghinis

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A while ago, Bored Panda had a good chat about the reliability of information with the team running the r/AskHistorians subreddit. A representative of the community, of the moderators, explained to us that checking each and every historical claim is very time intensive.

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“Even then, a lot of knowledge is locked in academic libraries and behind paywalls, so it can be impossible to access anyway. When looking at ‘mindblowing’ facts on the internet a healthy sense of skepticism is essential—as is looking at the source. Is this being claimed by Twitter user @fakefacts420 or a Professor of History at the University of Oxford? Are you reading this on a university website or an email your nan has forwarded you?" they said that we should always be aware of who is claiming something happened.

"While you might not have time to chase down historical references in the archives, there are many sites who have detailed debunkings of common historical myths and misconceptions. Checking there is always a good start," they suggested starting with Snopes or AskHistorians to double-check some facts.

#7

A pirate known as jean lefitte had a bounty of $500 put on him by a governor. So he put a $5000 bounty on the governor

The-big-ouch Report

#8

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered The Achaemenid Empire had trouble conquering Egypt in the early part of their War so they decided to use the very embodiment of their holy figure against them. They literally had soldiers carry cats with them and painted cat heads on their shields so the Egyptians couldn't fight back due to their beliefs and surrendered.

They literally pulled a "your god is our frontline".

This is known as the Battle of Pelusium.

JazzPhobic , wikipedia Report

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#9

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered British prisoner of war in Nazi germany stitches a quilt. The Nazis put it out for show. Hidden in Morse code stitched in were the words “f**k hitler” and “god save the Queen”

ShivasKratom3 , Chris Curry Report

"There are probably dozens of potential conspiracies surrounding Sumerian agriculture, but that topic isn’t in the public eye in the same way that something like the Second World War or the Roman Empire is," the r/AskHistorians moderator explained to Bored Panda that conspiracy theories are nothing new and they touch pretty much every era and topic.

They added that some people want to “exploit past events to push a political point in the present day,” so they weaponize historical conspiracies. So one of the questions that you should pretty much always have in the back of your mind is ‘who benefits?’ when you hear someone aggressively pushing one narrative or another. The more important the event, the more likely it is that someone may try to twist the truth for their own ends, whatever they might be.

"Because these events and periods are seen as important for the formation of the modern world, people see it as important that history aligns to their worldview or political leanings—even when it does not—and seek to twist reality in order to achieve this,” the historian warned. They also noted that it’s important for people to learn how to trust the trustworthiness of a source and to figure out how a historical document might be biased.

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#10

“I’d rather go to hell, with my noble ancestors, than to go to heaven and join the likes of you…”

Norse King tried to be converted to Christianity on threat of burning in hell for paganism

ShivasKratom3 Report

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Alias Delfs
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. But then my freaking ancestors joined Catholicism and then proceeded to spread it wherever they pillaged

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#11

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered This is more petty, but when Taft bragged to his friends via telegram about scaling a mountain on horseback, that it was a few thousand feet, clear weather, all in all not too difficult, his friend replied, "HOW IS HORSE?"

JitteryBug , wikipedia Report

#12

“Stop sending people to kill me! We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle... If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send a very fast working one to Moscow and I certainly won't have to send another.”

Tito to Joseph Stalin

nb150207 Report

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Kate
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best part is that this note was found in Stalin's office after his death. Dude was apparently so amused when he received it that he kept it.

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#13

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered When Otto von Bismarck was about 50, he was walking down a street when a man ran up to him and shot him five times. Otto then turned around and began to beat the absolute s**t out of him until some armed guards come to help him. When they inspected Otto for wounds, they found that all 5 hit, but they all either just grazed him or bounced off his ribs. Literally the iron chancellor.

BrittleBandit , wikimedia Report

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Rachel Ainsworth
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guns used to be less powerful (note to USA the second amendment was written at this time).

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#14

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered The first cell phone. The first call ever made from a cell phone was to a competitor's landline. Big d**k energy

-Solarsoul- , Nastya Dulhiier Report

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Dani Koi
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats incredible, I'm glad to know there other people as petty as me.

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#15

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Sparta to Phillip II

Phillip wrote to Sparta that if he marches into Sparta he will raise the land, burn the crops, rape the women, and just destroy the city. Sparta replies back with a single word.

“If”

BridlingMage117 , wikipedia Report

#16

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered So when France exiles Napoleon Bonaparte (the first time), they didn’t think to change out military personnel. So he basically rolls up to the first French outpost he gets to, says “‘sup” and begins reassembling an army. By the time he gets to Paris, he’s got enough forces that France is like “well. Welcome back.”

Mr_Henslee , wikimedia Report

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Robert Trebor
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It didn't take long for the soldiers to figure that the Bourbons hadn't changed even though they'd been exiled or rendered into being daisy food by the revolution.

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#17

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered When Robert E. Lee decided to side with the South in the Civil War, to spite him the North used his property as a graveyard.

It is now Arlington National Cemetary.

Corteran , wikipedia Report

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Daniel Yamada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, they used his property as a cemetery, not as a graveyard. A graveyard is part of a larger property - usually a church. A cemetery is an independent property that is only used for burials.

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#18

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Caesar in his youth, before he became famous, was captured by pirates off the coast of Italy and held hostage.

He promptly befriended the pirates, getting drunk and shared stories while they waited for the ransom to be paid.

Later, after he was released, he went back to find and capture the same pirates, and ordered their deaths because they requested an insultingly low ransom for a man of his stature.

a_saddler , wikipedia Report

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#19

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered When Henry VIII wanted to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon the Pope said you can't do that. Henry then created the Church of England so he could get divorced.

HungarianDude , wikipedia Report

#20

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Not the biggest, but definitely one to note. In 1966, Charles DeGaulle ordered all U.S. Troops out of France, as he said the country was leaving NATO, LBJ's first words were to his Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, "Ask him about the cemetaries, Dean!"

When Dean Rusk mentioned whether or not the 60,000+ US soldiers buried in France were to be removed, DeGaulle simply stood up and left the room, embarrassed.

anon , wikimedia Report

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General Anaesthesia
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A year later De Gaulle visited Quebec in Canada for Canada's centennial. Quebec was experiencing terrorism by the separatists of the Front de Libération du Québec, FLQ. De F'ing Gaulle declared from Montreal's city hall, "Vive le Québec libre", "long live free Quebec". That was just a few years after France lost the Algerian war for independence, with its terrorism on French soil. De Gaulle was a butt wipe.

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#21

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered In the late 1980s Nintendo and Sony developed a CD add-on for the Super Nintendo. Nintendo then pulled out of the partnership and opted to work with Phillips instead and released the CD-i.
This move was highly frowned upon because Nintendo had decided to ditch a fellow Japanese company over a foreign one. So Sony picked up the pieces of the project and tried to partner with Sega. The board of directors turned the idea down saying "that’s a stupid idea, Sony doesn’t know how to make hardware. They don’t know how to make software either. Why would we want to do this?"
At the end Sony released a game system by the name of Playstation in 1994 to compete with the Nintendo 64 and outsold their former partners nearly 3:1 plus it marked the first time that Nintendo wasn't top dog since they released the NES.

akiba305 , Jason Leung Report

#22

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered The second defenestration of Prague. The Holy Roman Emperor and King of Bohemia sends representatives to the Protestant city of Prague telling them to convert to Catholicism. The representatives get thrown out a window and allegedly landed in a pile of manure

Korlac11 , wikipedia Report

#23

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Symphony No. 7 (Shostakovich) was played in besieged Leningrad. And it was broadcasted on the radio, so nazi soldiers could hear it.

Imagine hearing "F**K YOU" from a city that you thought was already dead.

ComBlockWither , Samuel Sianipar Report

#24

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered My personal favorite is when Chairman Mao made Nikita Kruschev have a meeting in a pool because he knew he couldn’t swim.

Sizeable_Cookie , wikipedia Report

#25

When France surrendered in ww2, Hitler thought Britain would surrender. So the next day, the British Royal Navy sailed to North Africa and sunk all of the French fleet so Germany couldn’t have them.

JediJack111 Report

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ADHORTATOR
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mers El Kebir - almost 1300 french sailors were killed by their british allies....

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#26

Someone Asked Historians To Share History’s Biggest ‘Middle Finger’ Moments, And 30 People Delivered Genghis Khan to Shah Ala ad-Din.

After the Kwarezmids plundered one of Genghis Khans caravans, killed his people, and took his s**t, he thought to take the diplomatic approach and send 2 envoys and an interpreter.

Shah Ala ad-Din decided to be a dumba** about it.

He shaved the heads of the envoys to shame them and sent them back with the head of the interpreter.

Mr. Khan was kinda pissed, so he marched 200000 of his boys and f*****g annihilated their town with only 1/4 of that number even able to fight back. He was so pissed at the Shah that he had the rivers keeping the surrounding villages alive fully diverted, so that he would literally wipe Ala ad-Dins birthplace off the map and make it so that it was like he never existed.

No one would settle there or live there ever again. No one would be there to remember his enemy who had disrespected him.

"Not even the dogs or cats" would be spared said Genghis Khan.

Nethervex , wikimedia Report

#27

Several of them ... My favorite is when Deng Xiao Ping ordered the Chi-com army to invade Vietnam in order to teach them a lesson about the South China Sea dispute. The Chinese rolled across the border and were like “hey where is everyone? Looks like they didn’t even field an army” when they started getting hit with guerilla-types of attacks. The Chinese Commies were supposed to mop the floor - They ended up incurring way more casualties than they anticipated and basically retreated back to China after one month and declared “victory.” Couldn’t get a solid body blow on the Vietnamese army.

anon Report

#28

My personal favorite: the beginning of the Battle of Stamford Bridge, in England, 1066. England's been invaded by a Norwegian army led by Harald Hardrada, king of Norway, and Tostig Godwinson, exiled English earl and estranged brother to the English king. They've already fought one battle, they've captured York. Things are looking good for them.

They're chilling, enjoying their success, waiting at Stamford Bridge for the hostages they demanded. It's a hot day. They're not expecting any trouble. But wait- an English army shows up. That's practically impossible. The battle of Fulford Gate had taken place only five days ago, and the Norwegians had completely routed the forces of the northern earls. The rest of the English army was known to be in the south, awaiting a Norman invasion.

Turns out the English had ridden all the way up North in FOUR DAYS.

The Norwegians were, understandably, a bit unhappy. They form into a circle. They don't have their armor with them- it's at the ships. It's too hot to be hanging around in mail. They've got helmets and shields and weaponry, and that's it.

The English send a rider to negotiate. He tells Tostig that his brother the King is willing to offer him his earldom back and part of the rule of England if he gives up now. Tostig asks what his buddy Harald Hardrada gets for his trouble.

"Six feet of English ground, or as much more as he needs, being taller than other men."

Tostig says they're done here. The rider rides away. Harald Hardrada asks who that dude was, because if it had been him talking, he'd have just killed the bastard there. Tostig says oh, that's my brother. That's Harold Godwinson, the king.

Harold Godwinson rode up to an enemy army personally and told the king of Norway, known to be a great warrior and general, that all he'd get from this invasion was a grave.

Battle commences. Norwegians lose. Tostig and Harald Hardrada both die. Huge bloody mess. English army is crippled. And then three days later the Normans land in the south. Harold is f****d. He still marches his army back, gathers as much force as he can, and engages three weeks later. He's killed at Hastings. Normans conquer England.

Basically a very personal f**k you moment that snowballed quite intensely.

Edit: because a lot of people are asking- yes, this was the battle with the legendary berserker at the bridge. No, it probably didn't actually happen. The story appears hundreds of years later and is very inconsistent. Also, there might not have been an actual bridge there at the time.

shoelesshistorian Report

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The Starsong Princess
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Harold Hardrada was something - a great warrior, lover, poet, captain of the Varangian Guard in Constantinople, berserker, king and tyrant. He apparently died of a arrow to the throat in a state of berserkergang, nearly naked and swinging his sword two handed. Tostig, on the other hand, was a complete prick.

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#29

I always like to share this story when I can, and it is full of "f**k yous." Alboin, king of the Lombards during the early Middle Ages, killed a rival king on the Italian Peninsula. Alboin was a bit of a d**k and really hated this other king, so he decapitated him and had his skull turned into a drinking cup. Anytime Alboin would party hardy he'd drink out of his brand new mug. Alboin also forced the other king's daughter into marrying him after killing her father. On top of that, Alboin was a mean drunk and would make his new bride drink out of her own father's skull on occasion.

So Alboin's wife started screwing some other dude, because she hated her husband for pretty obvious reasons. Her lover and she assassinated Alboin for being such a d**k.

Edit: *Cartago delenda est* was another good f**k you

FlokiTrainer Report

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Mario Strada
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember this from Middle School. I guess having someone drink off their father's skull made an impression on my young mind.

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#30

The Battle of Agincourt - Or at least the aftermath. Henry V wanted to have a show of force, and marched his 9,000 troops through France, France wasn't having it, so they raised some 12,000.. when France tried to negotiate, Henry launched an assault sparking the battle itself. Using clever use of terrain and the fearsome use of the English long bow, the French took heavy losses. It was believed, however, that any English archer captured by the French had their fore and middle fingers cut off so they could not operate a long bow. Thus inventing the 'two-finger salute', that citizens of the UK are known for, that for us Americans would be the middle finger now.

If accounts are true, this is a very *literal "*F**k you!"

Dyerdon Report

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