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Scotland, a country that has been part of the UK for more than 300 years, is known for many things, such as deep-friend mars bars, whiskey, and numerous genius inventions that make our lives so much easier. But there's probably one thing you didn't know about Scottish people, it's their one of a kind sense of humor that started making waves across the internet, especially on twitter. Not only are their jokes crude and funny, but they are also written in the way they speak. Scots have the unique ability to make other laugh and make their thrive at the same time. Ready for some unadulterated jokes? Then scroll below

#1

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awkwardandodd Report

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Lucas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The very least of the weird things on the Edinburgh to Glasgae train you'll hear...

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#4

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Rauss_Mc Report

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Liam Walsh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remember having that conversation with a mate at work when we were commuting - wasp gets on at our station and ends up in London not knowing what the f**k happened!

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#5

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Bivsterr Report

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Lucas
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wants the deep fried mars bar but knows he's not supposed to eat chocolate!

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#13

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abigailambrose Report

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Betsy Knox
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Flip flops and thongs are interchangeable terms for the footwear in California.

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#19

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ry_ndavies Report

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Lucas
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ryan you cannae say a*s - it's nae Scottish. You mean a**e man, a**e.

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#22

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FlannyTweets Report

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Stille20
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That being said, my boyfriend uses fruitier shampoo than I do... but he does smell terrific

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#24

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ruth_allenx Report

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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every time I go to run the dishwasher my husband insists on jumping in the shower and turns off the dishwasher. Then later I go to unload it and it isn't clean. Well it happens at least once a week anyway.

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#27

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Foley_Me Report

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Claire Ellingford
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't stop laughing ....!! Wish you Scots would visit Australia more; I'd pay good money to see some of you in a comedy show! That put a big smile on my face to start the day thanks!

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#35

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_marcjohnston7 Report

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Munhu Afro
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ma..... ARGE. Marge Simpson. Mom? Goodness you nearly gave me a heart attack mom.

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#39

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JosephObrien21 Report

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Lucas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many people used to sign for things with a big X - you can sign how you like. As long as you recognise it - should it be necessary.

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#44

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brianmcguire95 Report

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Xandra
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom used the poop emoji thinking it was a "chocolate cake". And put the salivating one next to it...

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#45

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CaseyBlackett1 Report

#48

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Ryanp0rteous_ Report

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Lucas
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Common problem. Not helped by them doing it wrong on the telly all the time. Watch House. He uses the wrong hand practically all the time (I think one episode it's pointed out by a physio...).

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#52

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dov97 Report

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SeamusRGN
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

cos sean is an irish name and is spelled séan the accent on the e makes it fada(or long)

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#54

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TeiganMair Report

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Kate Yeti
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel ya there, sis!! Luckily, I found a man that swaggered out of my kitchen in a full pirate costume, grabbed me by the waist, dipped me down and said in his best pirate voice, "Arrr, I'm ready to give up the sea, me love! Will ya marry me?" Find you one of those!! 🥰

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#55

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nizzyy_ Report

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#56

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Daniel__Leonard Report

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Chris Jones
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you can accelerate and brake at the same time it's probably not going to go well...

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#57

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PaulSlaven7 Report

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#58

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anna_leighton Report

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Chris Jones
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"They think 2 of the daughters are actually me with and without make up" - that doesn't mean what you think it does.

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#59

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jay_0382 Report

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M O'Connell
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is that a lunch hamster, or a dinner hamster? Does it come with a beverage?

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#61

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connorbrennan_ Report

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#62

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chibbed Report

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#64

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katmcgoldrick Report

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#65

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currie_max Report

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Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL! I have to read these slowly to totally get them, but that one was worth it. Like a Scottish flavored dad joke

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#71

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MegaHeid Report

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#72

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montyyyy17 Report

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Lucas
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Chippies were banned at an office I worked in... think it was because they just smelled too good.

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#75

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Y2SHAF Report

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PotatoNinja5000
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a bit worried. The Harry Potter fandom hasn't found this entry yet. Hope they're okay.

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#80

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stevencarr123 Report

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Nicky OldfieldDesciple
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least he bought her a card. I had to remind my dad when it was my mother's birthday and buy her card and present for him with the €20 he gave me for them EVERY YEAR. If it went over the €20 had to pay the balance despite him having a well aid job and I was on the dole.

#81

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lewisbirch98 Report

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#84

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MRNCFC Report

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#86

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Evin_Stafford Report

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Jess-a-men
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's that thing she's holding? It looks like she's breastfeeding a hedgehog!

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#87

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ezzzzzzx Report

#88

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lukemorton5 Report

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#89

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GibbsWilliam Report

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#90

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Peng__Cunt Report

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Lucas
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hah - Bored Panda you missed one. Though trying to hide all the bad language in a Scottish based post is quite a task. I hadn't realised that it was entirely my Scottish side that was responsible for all my swearing!

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#91

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RyanSkedd7 Report

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ezPZ
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just move to the other country. 100 000 pounds it's like a flat in minor city in Poland and like 14 years worth of salary

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#92

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Goudie15 Report

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Chris Jones
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah-ah - not fair. Watched and learned from all the footballers diving and rolling around in 'agony'.

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#93

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JakeMcClean8 Report

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Astrid Nineor
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Warning folks, paracetamol. IS dangeroous. Seriously, you can OD on it (probably not from, say, three, but it does cause damage with prolonged use.

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#94

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McneilAlexander Report

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Chris Jones
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🎶 That'll be the lack of crashes which are caused by car eyelashes!! 🎶

#95

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ScotRail Report

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#96

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MitchHastings_ Report

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#97

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Tantzz_1st Report

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