Navigating breakups is one hell of a job nobody signed up for. And when you almost start moving on with your life, slowly regaining the joy and confidence of being a singleton, ready to smash those Tinder dates, a message pops up… “Hey, can we talk?”
And no matter how many times your friends have told you it’s a bad, very bad idea to engage in ex-texting, the temptation to respond is still there. And sometimes, it’s you who makes that first ‘long time no see’ text to your ex. In both cases, the results of texting your ex have been very well documented in a self-described “unspirational” Instagram account titled “Texts From Your Ex.”
From savage shut-downs to hilarious revelations, and anything in between, you can see why the account is followed by a whopping 2.4M followers. So scroll through the ex craziness, be sure to share your experiences in the comments and after you're done, part 1 awaits right here.
This Is The Correct Answer
To find out more about navigating the complicated world of texting with an ex, Bored Panda reached out to James Preece, a leading dating coach for Dating Agency Reviews and relationship expert. Over ten years' experience working in the dating and relationship industry, James has helped thousands of singles through personal coaching and events.
“Texting your ex is rarely a great idea unless it's a special time like a birthday,” James said and added that in that case, “that's perfectly OK as you won't be the only one reaching out to them that day.”
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However, if it's not a general goodwill greeting, then James advises you to think carefully before you send it. “Do you really want to open an old wound? You might have decided that you want to be friends, but that can often lead to misunderstandings. How is a new partner going to feel when they discover that you want to spend time talking (in person or by text) with someone you loved in your past?”James explained that it's usually better to move on and focus on finding someone who makes you happier.
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Having said that, the dating coach added that it's quite common for an ex to reach out to you a while after your breakup. “While this is clear evidence that you are on their mind, it's wise not to jump to the conclusion that they are trying to get back with you. While that is a possible reason, it could just be that they miss you and are wondering how you are. Perhaps they wanted to clear the air or something reminded them of you. Quite often it's just because they are bored and have nobody else exciting to talk to.” James added that you deserve much more than that.
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On the other hand, “if you are both still single and didn't break up under bad terms such as infidelity, there's a chance that it might resolve some issues. The very fact you are back in communication is a positive step.”
“However, it requires a lot more work from both sides,” James assured and added that if you both want to move forward, a phone conversation followed by a real life meeting is essential. “That's the only way that you can really see and hear what they are thinking. It's easy to hide behind a text,” the dating coach concluded.