30 Times People Noticed Something Was Off About Their Friend’s Significant Other And Were Proven To Be Right Later
Very few things can make you as thrilled to bits as those early days of a new relationship. You get stirred up by the idea of love. You feel like walking in a fog of bliss and can’t stop thinking about the person. But an apparent match made in heaven can potentially cloud your judgment and make you ignore or miss the bright red flags waving directly at your face.
Luckily, seriously negative behaviors are obvious-looking from afar. And if relationship warning signs somehow go over your head, friends and family members are on a mission to keep an eye on things. So Redditor Nameshavebeenaltered decided to reach out to these attentive people to ask about the moment they realized there was something off about a loved one’s SO.
Thousands of members of the Ask Reddit community flooded the thread with responses about how their gut instinct proved to be right. From less-than-pleasant girlfriends with a taste for threats to boyfriends shamelessly lampooning their partners for everyone to hear, Bored Panda has picked out some of the worst relationship horror stories from an outside perspective. Continue scrolling and be sure to share with us what you think about them in the comment section below.
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Whenever she would be having fun, he would pull her to the side and whisper lecture her about how she looked stupid. For dancing, laughing too loud, s**t like that.
Spoiler: Six years later and the divorce is finally underway!
It’s upsetting that it took 6 whole years for the relationship to end
He called her because the baby woke up and the baby is her responsibility. He went off about how she wanted the baby so it's not fair that he has to wake up and change a diaper. It was her first night out in months and he wanted her to come home to change a diaper. She hung up on him.
We were out to dinner. I told them a story about my ex GF about how she never got a job after we moved, spent all my money, forced us to get a luxury apartment and, as soon as she did get a job, started f*****g some dude at her job. I literally came home one night and found them in bed. After hearing all this my friends GF said "wow, she sounds really resourceful. She took you for a ride and got away with it. Good for her."
As soon as she was in the bathroom I told my friend to break up with her.
Sundy Gilchrist, a relationship coach and founder of Sublime Relationships, explained that we often turn a blind eye in those early days of a relationship. "Two things tend to happen when we first meet someone and take those first steps into increased intimacy with them," she told Bored Panda.
"One is that we tend to be on our best behavior and behave in ways that we think the other wants, so it ends up with two people wearing masks and pretending." When the facades finally come off, and the real person steps out from behind the pretense, "it can be a shock to find that the person you fell in love with was just a story."
Another thing that often happens in new relationships is that the "love drug" takes over and "can have us in a mild to severe obsessive-like state with a lack of appetite, sleep, concentration, and an overwhelming desire to be with the focus of our desire, sometimes to the exclusion of all else," Gilchrist said.
Someone 'hacked' a friend's boyfriend's computer and posted a bunch of very sensitive photos on 4chan and other similar websites. But for some strange reason nothing else (like his bank records, email, etc.) was compromised. How odd that this hacker would **only** be after her nudes.
I immediately said "It was him. He's the one posting the pics online." She spent so much time saying what a great guy he was and how it couldn't possibly be him because he had an important job (working for a major politician) and that he wouldn't compromise his dream of a career in politics.
A few months later, she finally came to realize that he was an emotionally abusive psychopath and dumped him. Then he started posting her name and address (and pics) on fetish websites, claiming that she had a r**e fetish and wanted people to just barge into her apartment and r**e her. She got a restraining order, he kept doing it, and eventually he got prosecuted and is no longer allowed near a computer. I still think he got off way too easy.
That’s too messed up. Wtf. And she’s the one who got in trouble for s**t she didn’t do? Read the room guys!
I met them as an already married couple and everything seemed fine until she went into labor at my house. It was her second child so she knew it was early labor and decided to rest on our couch while we hung out. We were going to watch her older child when she went to the hospital anyway and our house is 30 minutes closer to the hospital, so it made sense for the three of them to hang around our house until "go time." That's when my husband and I started noticing her husband's strange behavior.
He was a very charming guy and a very good father to his son, but he started making fun of his wife during contractions. He would roll his eyes and tell her to shut up if she even made the slightest groan. He joked that she was a p**sy and was overreacting. The whole situation got so awkward that my husband insisted he go home to get their hospital bags, just to give the poor woman a break from her crappy husband.
A few months after the birth of her second child, he hit his wife with his car while she physically tried to block him from leaving during an argument. He disappeared for days and didn't come home until she proved to him that she hadn't gone to the hospital or contacted the police. Thus began systematic abuse that continued for two more years and she hid from me like an expert. He would hurt her and then threaten to withhold money for groceries if she said anything to anyone.
I knew he was a d**k and I knew she often needed me to pick her up to get food from food pantries because "he was bad with money," but I had no idea he was hurting her. She finally left him after he threw her through a window while she was eight months pregnant with their third child.
If I was the friend and knew my pregnant friend with children was being repeatedly abused, it’s straight to the police I don’t even care. And the fact that it went on for years? All that emotional and physical abuse and food and money deprivation! That poor woman and her children.
Well, she's 20 and he's over 10 years older. Six months into their relationship she tells me he wont let her touch his phone, but gets mad if she doesn't let him touch hers. A year passes and she's never been to his place, met his family, and the only time they see each other is at work.
Dude is either married or has kids
EDIT.
Just to clarify some stuff
I don't believe age gaps are bad, my friend is very mature for her age, but I'd never date my boss.
The phone thing isn't bad, i dont check my bfs phone, but it's kind of weird if you forbid your partner from ever looking at your phone
They've been together for more than a year, he doesn't want to meet her mom, they don't go to his place (i haven't asked why because she gets mad)
And no, having kids is not bad either, but being lied to about having kids is not okay for some.
She won't let me meet him, or see him because he doesn't want to (they dont take pictures) but I've heard him on the phone
Im not saying this means the guy is a bad person, but it feels off and i felt like it fits here
We also managed to get in touch with Katherine Baldwin, a love, dating and relationships coach, and the author of How to Fall in Love. She told us that one reason why we miss, overlook, or even override red flags when we do spot them is simply that we’re too excited.
"Our hormones are all fired up and it's easy to let our passion and our desire for the relationship to succeed to blind us to the other person's less-than-ideal qualities or any red flags," she said. "That's why it's so important to date in a healthy, grounded way, with our eyes wide open, instead of dating with a deep craving."
Negative behaviors can turn an apparently romantic relationship into an ugly partnership if they are ignored. And the deeper you get, the more painful it might become. "Red flags we miss or overlook at the start of a relationship will always be there, and unless they're addressed and resolved, they can develop into serious issues that sabotage the relationship, causing hurt and heartache," Baldwin argued.
Whilst out at a uni party, I ran into my friend's SO. He was out of town at the time. She started dancing with me, getting closer by the minute. When she was about to start grinding on me, I asked "what are you doing?" To which she replied with "it's okay, *** likes it when I flirt with other guys." Uh, no he f*****g doesn't. He's one of my best mates, I know him pretty damn well. We eventually convinced him to end it with her, and he's much happier for it.
That's a good friend. I've known far too many people who'd have gone right along with it 😒
The second time we met she cornered me in the bathroom and threatened to cut me if I spoke to her boyfriend again.
Oh boy...
He showed abusive and manipulating behaviour from day one. But it was fine because she loved him and she could change him. A year later he had cheated at least once and was constantly threatening to kill himself if she left him. It was fine though because really he loved her but didn't know how to express it.
Year two and he controlled her facebook and phone, and he decided who she could and couldn't talk to. It was romantic though because he just really cared about her.
Year three and he'd cheated at least 4 times and he'd also pretended to kill himself and break up with her multiple times each, after one of which she tried to kill herself.
We had a whole intervention thing while she was in the hospital and she agreed to leave him.
Two weeks later they were back together. He spent $800 on my birthday gift, how could he NOT love me?! Oh yeah and I cant talk to you anymore squeakypop because he says I shouldnt.
Shes still with him
Some people just choose to ignore the red flags. Either because they are scared of/or being threatened. Or they are genuinely being gaslit and manipulated to the point of no return
Gilchrist added that control can be one such red flag. "Control of another, often has its roots in feelings of insecurity, sometimes manifesting as jealousy and possessiveness," she said. "What can initially look and feel like care, attention, devotion, togetherness and belonging, can change into realizing that you have no say, no freedom, and feel controlled to some greater or lesser degree," she explained.
Luckily, our friends and family are on the lookout for such harmful behaviors. But our affection for another person can be so strong that we might disregard their warnings. "It can be very painful to hear criticism and judgments of someone we have fallen in love with, and love can indeed 'make us blind' to their behaviors," Gilchrist told us.
We played DnD with him and it seemed like every week he'd say "rule number 1: don't touch the kids!" (He was a teacher) he always meant it as a joke, and it always made sense in context, but it didn't sit right with me. For one thing, no one thought it was that funny the first time, so why call back to it? Also, the regularity with which he said it made it almost seem like a mantra to me.
They arrested him last year for allegedly snap chatting with an underage girl he met over the internet.
In hindsight there were a bunch of other warning signs too, but that was the one that initially weirded me out.
When he started trying to pick fights with me in order to separate me from my cousin. We were in our mid teens, he looked 17 or 18, very clean cut and geeky in a boy band sort of way, you know, the "sensitive one" with the glasses. He was well mannered, respectful to our moms, but he seemed predatory to me. I didn't have the best people around me growing up, so I learned to recognize potential threats early, and this guy set off all my danger bells. Just small things, like watching too closely to see how people reacted to him, and the way his smile never reached his eyes. I wasnt rude, but i didnt fawn over him either. Once he realized that I wasn't charmed by him, he started avoiding me, telling her he didn't feel comfortable around me, and she'd have to see him alone. He tried bullying me any time he saw me, while still bragging to me that he was her protector and her white knight.
Found out a few months later that he was actually in his mid twenties, and had a record for stalking and and assaulting underage girls. Too bad we didn't know this before he gave her herpes.
My best friend started to date this girl about a year ago. She was awesome always seemed so nice and was very fun to be around. About 3 months into the relationship and every thing was going great. Then he asked her to move in with him. The day comes to move in and I go over to help move the heavy stuff and low and behold she shows up with a 5 y.o. When he ask who it is she said her son! We were blown away. She never mentioned it, said anything about having a kid.
Her Facebook had 0 pics of her kid, no one mentioned her kid. It was a big cover up and she basically just wanted someone to support her and her kid. He noped outta that one right then and there.
She should have told him at the beginning of the relationship. A lot of people are understanding of stuff like that. But you can’t just bring it up the bloody day your moving in with him!
Sometimes, our minds play tricks on us and convince us we can change our loved ones, or that they are going through a phase, or give them some other excuse to explain away their behavior, she argued. "If more than one person, who you know loves you, is saying the same thing about your partner, then it’s time to take notice of that, as painful as it may be."
Baldwin agrees it's a good idea to take on board what our friends and family members are saying about the relationship. "They have our best interests at heart and can often see red flags that we are oblivious to because we're so caught up in the thrill of the relationship."
"Of course, it's important to make our own decisions, so listen to other people's advice and then listen to yourself, to your truth, to your intuition. In order to do so, you will need to come down off the pink cloud and see the relationship for what it is rather than look at it through rose-tinted spectacles," she added.
First time I met him, he told me he had the biggest crush on her for two years before they started dating, but he was waiting for her to lose her virginity and turn 16. He was 33.
*Edit: We're in Canada and age of consent is 16. Still f*****g gross.
Wait. So he stalked her for 2 years. Waited for her to lose her V-card. Turn 16. And then now there dating. And she is aware that he is 33?
me and my cousin grew up together like brothers,
I immediately knew his new girlfriend didn't like me from the looks she would give me or how blunt she was when I tried to engage her in conversation.
A few months down the line and I try and arrange a meal with my cousin, asked him to bring his girlfriend along so we can break the ice. everything was arranged, I showed up at the restaurant and they didn't. I was stood up.
they are now married and have two kids. I wasn't invited to his stag night or his wedding I was (and still am, gutted)
I met my wife and invited him to my stag do, he was all paid up and I couldn't wait to see him again. it was the thing I was looking forward to the most..... he didn't show... again gutted
he and his wife showed up to my wedding and acted as if there was no problem, it was quite strange but I didn't care as it was great to just spend some time with the man I had considered my brother.
we kind of kept in contact via text but never met up, even though I tried to arrange it a few times.
Then my son was born, I was desperate for them to meet each other and bent over backwards to meet up.
I agreed to meet at a play area so his daughters could tag along and go play and he got to meet my son (who is named after his brother who passed away)
I sat there for an hour before he messaged me to say he wasn't coming.
as a final attempt to salvage some kind of relationship I invited his family to my sons christening, I got a message an hour after it had finished to say he wasn't going to make it as his wife had arranged to do something.
that was 4 years ago and I haven't heard, seen or spoke to him since.
still makes me sad but as long as he is happy, then that is all that matters.
EDIT: Just to expand a little, I have tried to contact him many, many times, via text, phone, facebook message but I haven't had a response.
I don't believe he is happy, but I don't know enough about his relationship to pass comment.
He has cut me off and there is nothing I can do to change that, I just hope that one day we do get a chance to sit and talk it through, just so he knows I don't hold anything against him or her. if he wants me to be part of his life then great, if he doesn't, then at least he knows I still love him.
She was super friendly, but I’d catch her looking at me out of the corner of my eye with… not a nasty expression exactly, but not a friendly one either, sort of wary (I’m also a girl) …
She’d also casually say odd little details when talking about her life that made it seem like she had a pretty skewed idea of relationships and gender roles (she went to an all girl’s [boarding] school, and even though she was 24 she was the first of all of her friends to ever have a boyfriend) like saying “it’s ridiculous to expect a woman to change a lightbulb on her own haha!” or making out that some things were a big deal in relationships, when they’re really not, as if she’d got all her knowledge from rom coms… Just really tiny things that wouldn’t be significant on their own, but added all together it really set me on edge.
She ended up going full on psycho and not letting him see any of his friends or do any of the things he enjoyed for two whole years, because she was basically jealous of every single other woman in the world, even his male friends’ girlfriends. It took his brother to come round and have good long chat for him to realise she was a control freak who was ruining his life - it was a timely escape too, since she was starting to talk about babies.
To avoid finding yourself in similar situations, the love coach advised you to write a list of potential red flags to know what to look out for. Baldwin suggested taking some time to understand yourself and your relationship behaviors. That way, you can break unhealthy patterns and establish new ones, "So that you can fall for emotionally available people rather than unavailable people, for example."
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I always knew, from the very first time I met him, that he was a bad person. Charismatic, charming, affectionate to her. But his eyes were...empty?
They married 14 years ago, when she and I were in 11th grade. She just turned 18, had a horrible home life (she unofficially lived with us, my parents being more of parents to her than her own). He was a bit older and had enlisted in the military, this was during the height of the Iraqi war.
A month before he deployed, after they had moved 3,500 miles away, he beat her in a drunken rage after she discovered he was having an affair.
While he was deployed, he won her back thru emails and phone calls.
He came home far more damaged than before. Things seemed OK for a few months, until she walked in on him in their bed with another woman while their infant son slept in a bassinet beside the bed. She naturally threw the chick out before trying to make him leave as well. He broke her phone and her jaw. She was still thousands of miles away from me but I packed a bag and drove 4 days to get to her.
She ultimately took him back and things seemed to stabilize. 3 more children and many years passed without incident.
When their youngest was 2, he beat her again, this time in front of their children. Police were called and he played the role of victim, using his PTSD and other post-military diagnoses.
She has no job, no high school diploma (she dropped out to be a military wife), and no family to fall back on besides me. We offered to have her and the kids move in with us temporarily until she got on her feet. But she chose to stay.
Recently, she and I drew up a notarized document stating that I am to get their children if something were to happen to her caused by him.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it never comes down to that.
This is so sad. She probably feels tethered to this relationship a) because of the kids but also b) because she has absolutely nothing to fall back on - no education, no job, no marketable skill sets. I hope this lady takes advantage of the kids being in school and does the same for herself. Financial independence as a woman is EVERYTHING.
The three of us were cooking food for a school project and he jokingly splashed us with water. We splashed him back and he proceeded to have a temper tantrum and sit on the couch in the other room for an hour.
Was friends with this guy for a year while deployed overseas in the UK. His wife was always just plain mean to him in front of others, like on everything ie calling him stupid, talking about their failing sex life in front of him to friends, telling "a real man would earn more money for the family" let alone she was also calling her two year stint in the UK her vacation from work. She also refused to stop hanging out with his male friends (who she always would stay with even overnight). After one nasty comment she said to him in front of our boss at a retirement dinner, i said in front of him, "dude, your wife is a b***h".
A week later, while he was at work and thinks shes in the states visiting her mother, he comes home to an empty home. Everything was gone from couch, bed, even his laptop and video games. He calls the cops thinking hes been robbed. Turns out the his future ex wife came back with her family and movers, cleaned out the home, his savings accounts...everything without a word. He lost his home and was forced to move into barracks.
I just said to him, im sorry dude, but your wife is still a b***h.
Once the love glasses fall off and you end the relationship because of your partner’s negative qualities, you may end up with another person that showcases the exact same red flags. "This shows us the personal growth work to do," Gilchrist said and added it might be wise to seek help from professionals.
"We tend to think that the other person is the one with the problem and needs to change, and whilst this might be indeed true, what’s truer is we need to change too if we are to have a great relationship where red flags get to be used as indicators for transformation, rather than just things to look out for and avoid," she said.
He made her stop being a vegetarian. He would slip meat into her food or outright force her to eat chicken nuggets.
He is genuinely concerned that I am going to turn his girlfriend gay. He goes on and on about it, well beyond a joke, and she just rolls her eyes. No idea what it is based on, but he's obsessed
Yeah, girl pls that is not a healthy relationship. I’d try to get her outta there ASAP before s**t escalates
Long story. Best friend was adopted as a kid. Adoptive parents killed in a car accident when he was 11. He was in the back seat. He survived.
Became even better mates. Same schools and college. He decided he was gonna marry this girl. I was happy for him but I had never met her as I lived out of the country at the time. So wedding is in 6 months. I fly down to see family and end up going with my the girl friend and some friends and we all meet up at a local restaurant.
Meet his fiance. She seems nice and welcoming. She flirts subtly with me. Nothing major but talks about my appearance quite a bit. In front of her fiance. I think nothing much of it.
Later in the evening I go to the bathroom. I end up walking to a cubicle and as I enter she jumps in front of me and closes the door with me inside... I ask her what she's doing. Her response is anything I want.
I immediately push her out. Sit down and in shock have no idea what I'm supposed to do.
I go back to the table. I'm quiet. I realize that I should tell or say something to him.
I pull him outside and tell him what happened. He is too in shock. Ruins the whole evening and next day I flew back to my home town with my girlfriend to see my family.
We don't speak for months until the wedding. I'm his best man.
Whole family was off to me. Bride hated me. We don't speak anymore but I know what happened and friends support my decision to tell him. He claims she says it was all a misunderstanding due to being drunk. I know what I saw. I know what happened. I know what she was trying to do. I feel bad because I have probably lost a friend but my conscious is clear.
Good luck Philip.
Yeah and she's definitely gonna do it again, too. At least you did the right and honorable thing.
However, Baldwin would also like to remind you to be aware that we might see red flags where there aren't any. "We might put barriers and blocks in the way of relationships because we're scared to love. If this resonates, it's time to explore your fears about getting into an intimate relationship," she concluded.
He had a full-on, toddler-level temper tantrum twice at a group game night. Once because during a trivia question he couldn't remember the planets in the solar system. Then, in the same night, he got pissy playing Uno, threw his cards down and stormed out. We all kind of looked at each other and at our friend. That was when we knew he was.. 'off.' My friends and I were all in our mid-20's and he was over 30, so it was definitely not acceptable behavior.
A couple weeks later was my friend's birthday, so we all went out for the night and ended up at our neighborhood bar. He threw another temper tantrum (I think it was over scoring for darts or something equally ridiculous...), stormed out and peeled away in his car, leaving us with no ride home. This was pre-Uber/Lyft and none of us wanted to spend the money on a taxi, so we sobered up on the ~two mile walk back to my friend's house.
Thankfully...she broke up with him not long after. She is now with a wonderful guy who not only knows the planets of the solar system, but also treats her a lot better.
My friend's SO in high school had a skinned cat hanging on his wall!! I knew right then that he was f*****g crazy. Thank god she isnt with him anymore!
Edit: He had just graduated. I was hanging out with them in his room, look up and see this pelt with head and everything. I obviously ask "What the f**k?" He then brags about how he killed it and skinned it himself. I love cats and was disgusted and horrified at the same time. I dont think I ever left a place so fast in my life. He seemed like a normal dude, but my first thought when seeing this poor kitty was "serial killer"
Edit #2: It was just your average house cat.
When he installed some kind of app on my best friend’s computer so that he could control the mouse with his phone. I think this was two months after I met him - 6 months into their relationship. I thought that was real [messed up] but “haha it’s only a joke, why do you think it’s weird gan1lin2?”
About a year later, he asked her to sign into Facebook to ‘see if Facebook was working for her’. Later that day she came over worried and asked me if he could’ve saved her password even if she told Chrome to not save it. We kind of bounced ideas around that “no, I don’t think so... I mean unless he put a keylogger on his computer? But that would be messed up.” And sure enough, that’s exactly what he did.
Notable favorite: After breaking up, he also tried to pose as me on kik so he could talk to her. He used a username that was like “gan11in2” so it was easily mistaken.
The whole relationship was a mess.
The first time I met him was at her birthday party. He shook my hand then proceeded to try and grind on me in front of her and her family. Then when I called him out on it everyone said I was the problem and was just jealous. A year later, it turns out he had been cheating on her continuously and had gotten 2 girls pregnant while dating her.
When my husband and I were helping them move and he would only speak to or answer my husband. I had an idea of how to move some stuff up the stairs and the guy just blew me off. So I told my husband to casually mention the same damn idea and poof! It was an awesome idea so we had to try it right then and there. This always put her down and she would just take it. In the end HE broke up with her because he felt she wasn't thin/pretty enough for him. Then would get mad at her for trying to move on and tried to sabotage every relationship she tried to have. I ended up ending the friendship because I couldn't stand listening to her complain about how he was treating her and she would keep going back.
My best friend's ex boyfriend walked like he was trying to intimidate people. And every time he asked someone a question about someone's opinion (hey what do you think of that statue, do you like sauerkraut) he'd respond to their answer with "I had a feeling you were going to say that." It seems harmless but it was every single time, and if you called him out on it (you couldn't possibly have known I was allergic to x!) he lashed out in anger. Every time she tried to break up with him he cornered her and wouldn't let her leave the room until she relented, and even their couple's therapist thought she should leave him for her own safety after two or three sessions. He would wait for her shift to end just sitting in his car in the parking lot and if she didn't come out fast enough he'd storm into the building in a fury, but if she came out on time he'd just leave. He wasn't there to pick her up, just to monitor her... which he also did through a gps tracker he put in her car.
She now has a restraining order and has moved twice. He broke into her apartment with a gun while she was deep asleep and just snuggled up behind her with the gun between them as if it was his d**k, and that was how she woke up. There are other things but this is getting long.
edit because people are ~~nosy~~ curious about other things he did:
-helped me move, but only to find out where I lived. After their breakup he came to my door several times looking for her, and when she was generally Not Here he settled for monitoring my house
-extreme fitness nut who was obsessed with telling people whether or not he could bench them (hint: usually not)
-lots of gaslighting, don't remember the details
-insisted on changing her cat's name, which didn't stick
-wouldn't let her *not* watch tv with him even though there are a hundred things she'd rather do than watch tv at any given time, up to and including a pap smear. This inspired multiple fights
-charmed her parents so successfully that they insisted she go to couple's therapy to "work out their differences" which were "I don't want to be constantly monitored, also your general controlling behavior is creepy" vs "you have nothing to hide if you're doing nothing wrong"
-ultimately their breakup was supervised by the couples councilor , who had building security waiting in the lobby and her hand on a panic button (who knew she'd have that)
-stormed into her work when she quit (post-breakup) because he decided they fired her and his plan was apparently to threaten them to get her her job back
-took her to court to argue against the restraining order. Judge looked at friend's documentation and how she was leaning away from him even on opposite sides of the room and he was making kissy faces at her and granted the order
-made very public posts on some weightlifting social media thing about what a crazy ex-girlfriend he had and *linked her profile in his own profile*
This guy is an extreme case of narcissistic Psychopathy and Borderline personality Disorder. He should have been thrown into the asylum for criminally insane by the order of the Judge. If I were a judge and when I would have cases like this, I would make sure, the bastards felt the full wight of the law and they would not see any daylight if it were in my ability to do so.
She messaged me to let me know she wouldn't be on her phone until she got a new one bc the one she has is busted. When I pressed a little, he had thrown it and stomped it when she complained about it dropping calls and having a s**t battery. So, typical best friend I'm like, I would make the bastard pay, blah blah. Fast forward a few hours, he is on her Facebook messenger, reading our conversation, trying to justify it to me. It gave me the w*****s to have him read our conversation. He has also thrown a remote through their plasma tv when he was mad. I know that he will be violent with her one day, if he hasn't already and she is just keeping it secret. It makes me sick to my stomach.
He hated her spending time with me. Snide jokes about lesbian lovers and wondering about the true mature of our relationship. The day we met finally, he told me that m**f-munching can't compete with a good hard dicking. Then he started insisting that I was closeted and obsessed with her, my boyfriend was just a beard. Funny thing is, I was meeting this girl after 5 months. He was scary controlling and insecure.
4 years later, they are sadly still together. I have given up at this point.
When she tried to f**k me, I felt like that was a bit odd.
We need more context here EDIT: lmao I read it again and kinda understand what’s going Lol. But more context is always good
Was best friends with a dude (I'm a lady). Had been for a few years, never any chemistry or anything like that, at least on my end. He gets out of a long-term relationship, starts dating around. He'd often introduce me to these ladies as sort of a barometer of whether or not he thought they were a good match.
One weekend he invited a girl out with our group. She's super standoffish. Won't smile. Clearly isn't having a good time. I try to talk to her, get to know her, try to tell her about my friend and how great he is... she acts like I'm not there. Might as well have been the wallpaper.
A month later I'm on a date and we run into them. Remember: I am also on a date. With a man. As they are leaving they come over to say hello. She seems equally unhappy to be alive. I introduce my dude, the three of us chat for a minute while she stands there. I jokingly tug at his shirt in a "you ol' dog" kind of way. She STORMS OUT OF THE RESTAURANT. Both dudes are confused. Was not a flirty touch of any kind, more like a bro touch. Anyway.
Next day at work (I work with this guy), he comes up to me and says, "Hey, you can't do stuff like that. She's really damaged. Has jealousy issues. Doesn't trust men." I apologize profusely, because I didn't realize I had done anything wrong, even asked my date and he was baffled as well.
This friend had an emergency key to my house, in case I ever got locked out. He returned it a week later, citing something about "what if you call at 2am?"... but isn't that the point? Isn't that what BEST FRIENDS do? Help each other in times of need?
Flash forward a few months in. He refuses to speak to me. Again, we WORK together. Won't look me in the eye. He slowly gives up other relationships, male and female.
After dating the girl for 6 months, they get engaged. Now married. No idea how it's going or if he's happy. I ended up moving and haven't spoken to him since. Makes me really sad to see people give up who they are for a relationship.
The worst part is that one day he will wake up and realize that he’s got nothing left.
The point at which she called him and yelled at him... For ninety minutes. It was on speaker, I heard everything, and holy s**t that chick has more red flags than soviet Russia.
Wasn't yet a friends SO (i made sure of that s**t) but we were at a music concert at our uni and my friend (who is Nigerian and I am a light-skinned Brazilian. It's relevant later) had had a crush on her for a few years before inviting her and her other chick friend to spend the weekend with us. I had absolutely no desire to be with either of them so really I was giving up my bed so my friend could get his romance going. Midway through one of the acts, she is grinding on my friend directly behind me when suddenly **she reaches around me and grabs my junk through my pants**.. in the middle of the crowd.. It was pretty f****d up how I felt at the time but I walked away thinking she's probably just too drunk and wants us both or something and I wasn't really having it. Later on while my friend is in the bathroom, she finds me in another part of the crowd and starts dancing on me saying we should head back to the room. I asked why she wasn't with my friend who obviously liked her and she was also vibing pretty openly with him when she was sober. Her response?
"My parents would totally freak out if I brought home a black guy. You're not too dark though."
My boy and I are still tight as ever but F**K that noise.
When he said he didn't like black people. And in turn didn't like me because I was, "loud like black people."
I'm not black and it certainly shouldn't matter whether I am or not.
Ugh. The year me and my (now ex) visited my best friend for Thanksgiving. This is a fairly long story btw.
I tell this story to people all the time because she's just an awful human being, and this story was just a perfect example of it. In 2009, We traveled from South Carolina to Orlando to stay with my best friend Tom (of about 22 years now) and his then gf, Lauren. We decided it was too expensive to fly up to NY to see our families, so we drove down a few hours to have a friends thanksgiving. We used to be roommates and he is a bad a*s cook, so we figured let's do this.
So he and I spend all day shopping, cooking, etc. and dinner rolls around. So we have the usual spread, Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, and it's all sitting on the counter. We go in the living room to get the girls, Lauren comes in first. Lauren goes into the cabinet and pulls out 3-4 large Tupperware containers, and says hang on. Nobody take anything yet. I need to make sure that I have leftovers for work this week. Proceeds to take about 60% of each dish, leaving it so everyone has extremely small portions, with no options for seconds.
Also takes about 85% of the white meat, because reasons, puts all her Tupperware in the fridge and then grabs a plate. From the already small amount remaining, she takes about half of each dish and slops it in her plate and walks into the dining room. Me and my gf, look at each other, take small plates and go sit down. My best friend was visibly upset, but didn't know what to say. She eats about half her food, then proceeds to throw what's left on her plate out.
Now to clarify, Tom has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He's a 6'5" guy who has a heart of gold and would give you his XL shirt off his back. Why he was with her, I don't know. He had a good job, making 50k+, She was not a large girl, average build. Worked at an architectural firm doing 3D renderings, fairly book smart girl. Not starved for money. (Important for story reasons)
I really wish too that were the end of this, but fast forward to the next morning. Tom decided he was going to make some [turkey soup](https://imgur.com/a/00Afn) with the leftover carcass and meat. YUM. Big giant pot, lots of goodies inside. Now at the same time in between watching the soup, he had been browsing craigslist at the time for an Xbox 360, and came across someone who was willing to meet that day. So he puts the soup on super low, and we all decide to go out and get his Xbox. Lauren, says oh I'll get it for you as an early bday present, and I think wow, maybe she's not so bad! So we go out, buy the 360, on our way home. Now literally the second we walk in, we could dig in on turkey soup. But, as we are about 4 minutes from home, Lauren is hungry. She says I want a double cheeseburger from McDonalds so she can dunk it in her Turkey soup. Tom argues that food is ready, we can see the driveway, but she makes him go to McDonalds so she can get a double cheeseburger...ok... she's the only one who gets anything and we get home. She rushes to the kitchen gets a HUGE bowl, and proceeds to take the large ladle and scoop right from the bottom. Filling her bowl with most of the goodies and little soup, leaving mostly broth for everyone else. Goes into the living room sits down and eats, while we stand there dumbfounded.
Almost there, I promise. We make our soup sit down, eat, and Tom wants to set up his new Xbox. Lauren doesn't really respond as she's dunking her burger in soup stuffing her face. So he gets it set up and fires up Dragon Age, Just playing around with it. Lauren has now had enough soup, which btw is her burger and about 3 spoonfuls, gets up and throws out about 75% of her meal. Walks over to the tv, turns off the Xbox, and says ok you played enough. I want to watch TV now, and ending with "well because I bought it for you, I can decide when you can use it and when I want to watch tv." Mind blown at this girl, the next day couldn't come any faster.
/end story. Absolutely mesmerized by her, and how she can be so so selfish. About a year later btw, he went to work, waited until she was gone, came home, packed up his s**t and left, never speaking another word to her again. Being the nice guy he is, he even left her money for his portion of the rent for he remaining months on the lease.
**TL;DR** best friend with heart of gold dated a selfish monster for years who had no regard for common courtesy.
**Edit:** for anyone curious, he is now engaged to a wonderful girl that is a very big part of our small core group of friends. She treats him extremely well and he's way better off now. They also live together about a half a mile from our current house, and our dogs are [absolute best friends](https://imgur.com/a/eDlpO)
**Edit 2:** Had the wrong year! Also, LOTS of questions about why he even stayed with her, or if we talked about it. We had a lot of conversations about it. At the end of the day, it was a comfort thing. They owned two dogs together (different than the beagle in the picture), and he would have had to save up money to move out to his own apartment and maybe some other reason that I don't know about? I think we've all been in those toxic/abusive relationships where no matter what, we are in them for way too long. Not saying its right, but it happens. He knew he was in a s**t spot. Also, yes he took the Xbox, lol. That was about the only damn thing aside from his clothes.
**Edit 3:** Thank you anonymous giver of gifts for the gold! First one, and never thought this would blow up so big haha. I'm glad that everyone is enjoying the story, hating the girl, and virtually high giving Tom. Some strange part of me feels like He's getting some form of retribution as over 6k people have seen her monstrous ways. Thanks all! Trying to answer questions as I can heh, it started moving real fast all of a sudden.
Geeze, what a bïtch. Someone should have called her on her bad behavior as soon as she started with it.
The first time we met her was at a bar. My bf and I arrived early, so we found a scrabble board on the game shelf and started playing. When my friend and his SO got there, literally before even introducing herself, the SO looked at our scrabble board and said, "Wow that's a lot of small words. Are you guys stupid?" My BF and I were so stunned that we kinda just ignored the comment. Was she joking???
Anyway, she (unsurprisingly) turned out to be a psychotic ultrabitch.
"Wow. What a stupid thing to say to people you're just meeting. Are you socially r******d?".
When my friend told me in great detail about her new boyfriend's work with the CIA - time travel and other secret projects. I expressed some skepticism, but she told me I was just jealous of her great catch.
College Roommate's GF had weird sexy time rules. Apparently it was as follows:
Sex between 5AM and 10AM only. Must shower after.
Missionary position only. Doggy style for special occasions.
Only oral sex in the shower.
Only sex in his bed, not hers.
If they were drinking, sex was out of the question because it needed to be out of love and not an altered state of consciousness.
He was thinking about proposing but walked in on her with two dudes on her bed. Obviously she broke all of her own rules. In so many ways.
When he broke up with her she explained the rules were because she could control him better that way so he wouldn't ever think about cheating.
I kinda like the morning toss 😂 For whatever reason, it's always much easier to "arrive" than it is if we try at night.
When they were married, she used to hit him. That was a big indicator. Later, when she lied to the cops to get him charged with assault, it was pretty satisfying to watch the judge basically pick apart her testimony and say that it was rare to find someone who was so clearly lying, and so brazenly.
In the end, he was exonerated in court, and due to a stupid crime she committed during the time of the trial, she ended up with a criminal conviction as a plea deal to settle the first case without having to go to court for the second.
Not sure whether I prefer the occasion where he scolded her over wanting to treat herself to a $2 piece of clothing (with her own money), or when he scolded her about going to a male dermatologist because "they're just perverts who turned their hobby into a career."
The amount of animals she had. I would understand if she was a farmer or was running a fully stocked zoo with trained staff but she was a girl in her mid 20s that lived in a small 2 bedroom house. She had 12 or so dogs, a bunch of cats, a couple of hairless rats, snakes, hamsters, and fish. Her house stunk really bad because she couldn't keep up with all the animals. All of her furniture was gross and she had a deal with something taking a dump in her bed almost daily. She was bad about stealing people's pets if she felt like they weren't taking proper care of it. There was also something dying in her house all the time. She was in a constant state of morning something. Animals just weren't meant to live in a person's house all bunched up together like that.
My friend later dumped her when he found out she was cheating on him. She got pregnant and never really stopped drinking or doing drugs while she was with child. The child was born 3 months premature with a lot of health problems. That was over almost a year ago when she had the child and the baby is still in the hospital today.
"she had a deal with something taking a dump in her bed" amber heard is that you?
He was 25 while she (Edit: my friend) was 15...
Didn't rub me the right way
When she went off on us for arranging a camp site at another friend's wedding (they got married on a 20 acre farm, and the reception was on-site) instead of agreeing to split a hotel room, with one bed, between 8 people (she got the bed, the rest of us would sleep on the floor.) Yeah, no.
WTF, why would 8 people need to split a hotel room? How cheap was this bïtch?!
He constantly made fake social media accounts to try and get her to cheat on him.
He tried to feel me up at her birthday party.
I tried to tell her, but she took his side.
We're no longer friends.
It's really sad when they don't listen in a situation like this, but it's hard when they have someone gaslighting them on Maxx Pro the entire time also. It's really difficult to figure out who's being the honest person with someone in your ear, telling you that they're just jealous of what you have together and don't want you to have a successful relationship because they don't, amongst so much more love bombing. They have a tendency to choose people with fractured and damaged families and childhoods, which makes what they say a little easier to believe.
My sister's friend married a guy she met in the Air Force. She was an okay looking girl, not ugly but not gorgeous, a little awkward. She probably would've done fine at college, but high school was hard for her. In the AF after high school she got tons of sudden attention and didn't really know how to handle it.
She ended up marrying a guy who:
* Was so bad at sex that she told my sister she "preferred a**l because it wasn't quite as painful"
* Pushed her for threesomes she didn't want, but said he'd "settle" for a sex doll
* Gave her chlamydia. Twice.
Ultimately he was the one who divorced her, because she eventually started saying no to some of his more unpleasant sexual preferences (I was never told what, but if she thought a**l was "less painful" I'm going with "abuse disguised as BDSM"). She would've stayed with him even though he was an incredible sleaze. We didn't hear from her much after the divorce. I've always hoped she found someone better. She really just wanted a regular vanilla romance with a good guy, but she said yes to the first one who asked because nobody had asked before.
My roommate's ex-girlfriend talked him into a open relationship.
My roommate is one the nicest, most easy going people i've ever met, he has a great rapport with everyone he meets and he'd go out of his way to sort you out. Enter Charlie.
His first serious relationship was with this quiet, reserved girl called charlie; she never came out with him when we had a drink, never came to parties. We never really got to know her in the year they were together.
Suddenly we start to see more and more of my roommate without her, even though they lived together (this is before he lived with me) and after a few weeks I asked him, why he's always on his own. He dropped the bomb that they had started an open relationship and more importantly she'd convinced him it was a good idea.
As calm a face he was putting on, I could see it was ruining him inside.
He was a fairly sexually liberal kinda guy, which is probably how it came up in the first place, but she pushed it way too far. He would come down to the bar with us while she f****d guys in their apartment, it was horrible to see him go through because he loved her, so I kept my mouth shut.
Now, here comes the kicker; after a few weeks of it he actually managed to find a girl who was okay with the open relationship thing, and as soon as he told Charlie about it, *she broke up with him.*
Guess she couldn't handle it when it happened to her.
She was such a f****r, good riddance.
He was "cuddling" with her when we met and refused to even take his hands off her for one second to shake my hand when I offered it. He just looked at my hand and held her in closer.
She thought it was sweet. I thought it was rude. Turns out he didn't much care for women who he couldn't hold in and he found many such women in the course of the marriage.
One of my friends has a gross, insecure leech of boyfriend like this. She and I literally refer to him as “the leech”. He always has to overdo the PDA around her friends, but she said he doesn’t do it around his friends. The first time I met him he wouldn’t stop trying to cuddle and tickle her in this icky way under the table at a restaurant. It was just the three of us and I was so uncomfortable that I just stopped trying to eat and started packing up to leave. He never liked me, but after that he’s taken his derogatory comments towards me so far that I banned him from my house. In turn, he banned her from my house. So she has to sneak around to call me or visit. I hate it and I miss my friend a lot
She's 19 and claimed to have written with JK Rowling, GRR Martin, John Steinbeck (huh?); discovered a new metal; and "solved" (i.e. knowing the result of every possible game) of chess. Something seemed a bit off about her.
I had a primary school teacher when I was a kid who was like that - ie a pathological liar. The lies she told were just as ridiculous as these. Her brother played Emperor Palpatine in Star Wars (she's not even British), she was friends with a rock star, she hung out with Olympic athletes, she was married to famous Australian author Tom Keneally... even us little kids didn't buy a word of it. I for one resented that she apparently thought we were that stupid.
My friend randomly made an Instagram and only followed his GF, GF's mother, sister, and some of her friends. Naturally I was confused why he didn't follow his best buddy, me, so I followed him and he followed back. I asked him if he saw a picture I uploaded and and he said "oh yeah I didn't make that, my girlfriend was looking at my new phone and it had instagram predownloaded and accidentally clicked it and it automatically made an account for me." I replied "Oh, so it automatically knew to make an account with your name, a username with your name, a profile picture of you and her, have one post of you and her, make a cheesy bio about your GF, and follow her family and best friends? Oh, and it followed me back weeks later so it must be acting on its own well after she accidentally pushe it once." Only thing he could say is that the Internet is crazy and you never know what type of AI technology they have out these days. No mate, your girlfriend is f*****g crazy.
He knows. He's embarrassed to admit that he knows and yet can't bring himself to leave.
A bit of background, this was a good friend of ours and previous roommate. At this point he'd moved out about a year and a half prior and we'd only had internet contact with him since. It was a meetup of old friends when we went to visit home.
This was the first time we (wife and I) met his newest girlfriend after his previous long-term relationship ended. She wasn't so bad, kind of giggling and goofy for him since he's a bit more serious, but fine, they seemed happy. We were out for dinner and her and my wife go off to the bathroom. I thought this was odd, since my wife is kind of a tomboy and doesn't do the whole 'girls go to the bathroom to do their makeup and gossip' thing, but I find out later friend's SO invited her to ask her a few questions about our friend.
Well, after about 20 minutes went by, I realized they weren't back yet. We were both tipsy and engaged in conversation and time got away. This was a small gathering of a few couples, and one of hte other girls goes to check on them. Come to find out, friend's SO basically had my wife cornered in the bathroom, crying in her face and demanding to know why our friend had a secret crush on my wife and why he wouldn't admit it to her. After getting the recap from my wife, she said she had no clue if the girl was going to attack her or molest her since a few times she was apparently completely against her to the wall.
Apparently it was a mixture of my wife wanting to calm her down, and also a little afraid since she was half this girl's size and legitimately couldn't get past her that caused the long drawn out... issue. Luckily the person going to check on them snapped the girl out of it and diffused the situation.
Very bizarre, we've seen her one time since (not exactly on purpose) and she acts like the whole thing didn't happen. She apparently has no history of mental illness, but I have no clue beyond that.
That behavior towards the friend's wife was absolutely NOT okay by any means! That's so dâmn disturbing to me. I would have really wanted it addressed right there, while there was a witness to the incident. That's just all kinds of crazy.
He wasn't allowed to come over and have a "hang over day" (couple beers, greasy food, smoking, football) this Sunday because his girlfriend was doing homework. He's almost 27 and she's 21. They showed up at like 6 (was invited at 12) and it was me and 2 other dudes just shirtless, not showered, and napping on the couches with the game on. I woke up to him getting yelled at by her..
EDIT: Okay so this is blowing up and theres some really weird homophobic comments starting so let me specify. I sleep without my shirt on and so does my roommate I assume. The reason why we are shirtless was because we didnt think to shower or get dressed. Just wanted to hang out in some comfy clothes and be low maintenance that day. If we knew she was coming then we probably wouldve got a shirt on or something but as I stated in the story they showed up like 6 hours later and while I was sleeping. Also, just because you didnt shower that day, doesnt mean youre smelly. It not like we just had an intense workout. Were not savages, just lazy that day..
These guys seem like my kinda people! Lazy, 420-filled, clothing optional Sunday hangout?! Yes, please!
She falsely accused her cousin of r**e. He ended up being jailed, lost his green card, and deported. The nail in the coffin was when she slept with his older brother.
Edit: I didn't make my self exactly clear. Let me clear it up a bit. And expand on how psychotic this woman is. When she was 15 she accused her older cousin of r**e. Because he turned her down, for obvious reasons. The question was when did I realized my friends SO was nuts. Well, my best friend married this woman when he was 18. A year after that the false accusation came to light, a month after that, in a series of events that just didn't add up. I uncovered her affair with my friends brother.
When I told my friend about the situation, he accused me of wanting to ruin his relationship and basically cut me off. In the years after, it was constant fighting between them. She faked two pregnancies to keep him around, while still sleeping around.
One day ( 10 years after being with her) my friend says he's had enough. He leaves her, finds himself another girl. And doesn't live happily ever after. Because his ex filled their kid's head with lies, somehow the divorce went completely in her favor, and she kept it all with an obscene amount in alemony and child support. The man is a responsible father. By the way. Did I mention this woman is my wife's cousin? Yeah. After me and my friend restarted our friendship. She spread lies that I was trying to get at her thinking he would have an issue with that. It caused a major strain between me and my wife. I could go on and on about her, but I'll just cut it here.
Well when I met her for the first time, after saying nice to meet you and whatever she tries to play matchmaker and wants to hook me up with one of her friends who's been arrested multiple times. And then she tried to hook me up with another one of her friends who had a boyfriend at the time. I ended up being good friends with that girl though and got her to stop being friends with my friends SO because she was a huge b***h to her all the time.
And then the ultimatums. She invited me and a couple other people over to her house to smoke and drink and whatever and I go to my friend and asked if he wanted to smoke and she says "if you smoke I'm breaking up with you" right in front of me and that was awkward as hell. She couldn't take a joke. At a Halloween party she came up to me and told me that my friend hit her only to find out that it didn't happen and she was making s**t up to get between me and my friend. It took a while but I was finally able to convince him to break up with her after she had a huge meltdown calling me a piece of s**t even though I didn't do anything to her except try to coexist. She sent angry texts to me about being friends with the girl she tried to hook me up with and not getting in between her already standing relationship that she had with her boyfriend. She called me a bad friend for not supporting their relationship fully. She was mentally and emotionally abusive to my friend. She'd put down anything he wanted to do and made him feel like s**t every time. She was just a huge c**t and I thank god that he got out of that relationship.
I also once had her and her friend over my house one day to hang out by the pool or whatever and she asked me for a glass of water so I get it for her and I come outside to see her going through MY PHONE to see what me and my friend talk about. She has no respect for anyone's privacy and it really pissed me off and that was when I realized that this b***h is crazy
Not sure which way to go with this one. I've seen girls like this but I've also seen the best friend get involved with a new girl and make changes in his life that his friends don't really agree with and blame everything on the girl, whether it was honestly her asking for those changes or not. I've seen guys actually want to make the changes because they want to at least check out a different type of girl and I've seen the guys that tell the girl they're making changes but only keep up appearances when they're with them. And vice versa with girls doing it towards guys. It's hard to say who's interfering with whose relationship without knowing all the background and details. It's sad that being adults, that you can't have a relationship with your best friend and your girlfriend,and have to choose.
When my dog who never growls at anyone, growled at my friend's boyfriend. That was three years ago and he is still the first and only person she has ever growled out in the six years I've had her.
They're engaged now -_-
When he told me he cannot keep a regular job because he is used to the fame and people asking for autographs and screaming his name. He is an unemployed opera singer who has done a total of 5-10 small shows his whole "career." Baby is due in March.
We'd invite the two of them for dinner, and he'd repeatedly tell my S/O and me that the 4 of us should play a "do-it-to-the-end game of strip poker."
He put emphasis on the word *poker*.
He sent her out of her basement when we were all hanging out one night, and begged me to let him suck my feet.
She finally broke up with him a few years later when he admitted to needing to think about raping me to get off while jerking off.
The jerk.
Well I knew he was a creep based on the fact that he was almost 40 and dating a 19 year old. But what really drove it home is when he told her to invite me into a threesome with them (I was also 19). Horf.
She is a Trump supporter. On social security for a disability. That doesn't prevent her from spending ~50 hours a week working on his campaign.
He kept beating the s**t out of her and taking all her money, then he crashed her car while drag racing, gave her herpes and tried to kill her.
She said if the Occupy Wall Street protestors were smart, they'd be working inside Goldman Sachs instead of sleeping outside on park benches.
She honestly did not understand ethics at all and thought the protestors were jealous of the wealthy.
When my best friend and his SO started in an LDR, I didn't think much of it. But when she would repeatedly make fun of my him to her friends on twitter I brought it up. She repeatedly cheated on him and acted like they weren't serious at all. Told my friend again because he was head over heels. They finally broke up because of a fight over something unrelated to the things I brought up to my friend.
Then they got back together and my friend used the stuff I told him to make a stipulation that if she wants anything to do with him she has to be serious. For whatever reason she stick with it. She started pulling him away from me gradually.
Quick flashback, when his ex gave birth to his two sons I dropped everything, was late to work because of one of them, and spent as much time as I could with them.
When I had my daughter, I invited my best friend not once, not twice but 3 times to meet her. He couldn't be bothered to come to the hospital. Not because of work but because he "needed" to be on the phone with his girlfriend.
I burned that bridge so quickly. Now they're engaged with a kid of their own. He moved to Florida for her and is an alcoholic now. Good riddance to both of them.
When he forced himself on her to impregnate her a second time, cut her off from her family and took control of her. Got her out of it, kicked his a*s and got her divorced. I hope her ex has the worst life ever.
He started attending my college at 26, which isn't strange at all, but he INSISTED on living in the dorms for three years. It's not like we're a college town with expensive/far away/sh**ty off-campus housing, he just liked the ego boost of being around kids 8+ years younger than him. My friend was 19 when they started dating.
Another thing was that he was a "full time" stand up comedian with his own youtube channel. He mostly did open mic events at bars, but couldn't stand watching other people on stage perform if it wasn't him. He would sit and seethe when my friend told him she didn't want to leave when watching other people perform.
The creepiest moment was undoubtedly when my friend asked me if my boyfriend ever watched b*********y porn. Taken aback, I said f**k no and told her that'd be a major deal breaker for me if he did. She said "Oh. bf told me that every guy watches it."
Thankfully they broke up last week and I couldn't be more proud or happy for her.
There are so many asterisks in that word like.... Can I buy a vowel??
I worked with a woman who was absolutely without a doubt working only so that she could find a sugar-daddy. She called everyone "love" and hugged everyone the moment she saw them, sometimes up to 5 times a day, then would turn around and talk c**p about them. She told everyone she was in medical school (impossible of course), that she was rich (lived in her car), and any work topic that came up she would immediately insist that she was an expert on it, and would then proceed to babble on about the topic, basically saying nothing that made any sense. Downright crazy! She wore inappropriate clothing to work, too, all in layers. As the day wore on, she would take off her sweater first, then her shirt, and by the end of the day she'd be wearing a very tight-fitting tank top with elaborately knotted scarves around her neck, glittery belts, tight jeans, cowboy boots, etc. We are allowed to wear casual clothes at work, but she dressed like she was going to a nightclub. Anyway ... she managed to get into a romantic relationship and moved in with one of my coworkers (practically overnight!) and then immediately quit her job (supposedly to start working at a better job). He bought into her lies and never questioned them. Suddenly she wasn't working anymore (so he was now supporting her 100%). She wanted to go to concerts, on long weekend vacations, to bars and nightclubs every night ... and this poor guy was getting stretched to his limit both with time and money. After about 6 months, he tried to break it off with her, but by now he was in too deep it would seem. She is a master manipulator, and every time the subject of separating came up, she would pull the "Christianity" card and convince him to pray with her to save their relationship. (He's a devout Christian.) They share a house with 2 other people, and somehow this woman managed to kick the homeowner out of the master bedroom and she now resides in it (and she also took over the master bath, so everyone else has to share the other smaller bathroom). She does zero housework, pays zero rent, and yet she rules the roost. No cooking, no cleaning, just watches TV all day and sleeps. She is the devil incarnate. My coworker is a mess, but can't come up with the balls to kick her out. He's a very loving, forgiving and generous man and knows that she has nowhere to go, so he tolerates her c**p. I keep waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan and maybe the roommates will kick her out, but they all just roll over and play dead while she calls the shots. Weirdest thing I've ever seen.
He ALWAYS had to be right, and ANY statement anyone else made had to be wrong (yes, even if you're talking about something you specialise in and he knew nothing about)
After four years of marriage they finally decided to end it... by which time very few of her friends were still willing or able to be her friend
Uh... oh s**t I have one for this.
So, the first time I noticed... was he had random jealous outbursts aimed at me.
Me and her have been friends for years, she's like my sister, if something was gonna happen... it would have about 6 years prior.
They would range from an unnecessarily snide comment to him throwing my s**t around. Dude threw my bag, that I was carrying my expensive a*s camera in.
Anyway, they moved away eventually for a while... contact got less and less... until, she got back in touch a few times to catch up.
Turns out her life was a bit of a hellhole, they lived together but he would have tantrums and she would sleep on the sofa. She had been waking up, going to work, going home, being treated like c**p... then doing it all again the next day.
Point is, when she got back in touch, there were things she said as if they were normal "he locked me out of the bedroom", "sleeping on the couch", "just him asking where I am"... her confidence was shot.
Long story short, she hit breaking point, moved her s**t out and didn't look back. Still my best friend, wish I could have helped more at the time but it was one f those "people are gonna do what they want to" situations... my job was to step aside and make sure I was there when she needed it.
I don't understand controlling people, it shows so little respect for life and someone you profess to love. It's really not right.
He got fat and married. It looked like a shotgun wedding because the new girl got him pregnant.
men who dont understand that i have long-term friends of both genders send a major red flag
She would try to be flirty with some of the guys in our group of friends. She was 7-8 years younger than my friend. Most of us have known each other for over 20 years, you bending over in a provocative way trying to flash your a*s to us doesn't make you look cute or hot, just immature and stupid. This girl would also get drunk and literally just run out of a party. The girl was unstable and crazy, which meant the sex was probably amazing for my boy. They lasted 2 years before he finally saw the light.
As a 48 yo man, I've already seen this more than once.
Where to start:
The double date we went on where he corrected her on the difference between UFC and MMA and she turned into the corner of the booth and didn't talk to anyone the rest of the night.
How he wasn't allowed to hang out with me either because I was dating someone and they might have hot friends or I was single and needed a wingman.
There was the time I used my dads truck to help them move and she got mad at me........ I don't remember why I just remember her friends doing almost nothing and then leaving before we were done.
The final straw for me (I decided she was an abusive shrew long before this) was when we were working for his parents band on a river boat concert. She got mad that we were hanging out, literally just talking on a small boat. She left the ring on the table and left the boat the second it docked. Unfortunately they made up after this and have been living together for the last year, hoping it ends soon.
Going out with a man that corrects his date on the difference between UFC and MMA sounds like a nightmare on both sides
He would always talk about how he was going to be an alcoholic and how he was going to hit my friend. She never thought anything of it until after they broke up, but it bothered me. He also said things about how he was happy her dad was dying/died because he wouldn't have to deal with him anymore.
When she came to a party of mine with my buddy and told everyone while my buddy was out of the room that she "loves to sleep with everyone" and to "not tell" my buddy because he doesnt know. They broke up soon after.
This girl sounds like a criminal mastermind or a stupid moron and I'm not sure which she may actually be. I know I'd never walk into a room filled with friends of the person I'm seeing and announce that I "love to sleep with everyone" and tell them not to tell their friend. Like they would keep what I had to say in the strickest of their confidence... how crazy is this 😳...
he made a "joke" about having a 4-way with his wife, and me/my husband (2 gay males) one too many times.
When they talked about moving in together and he insisted they don't buy plates. Buying plates was "buying into and accepting consumerism" so instead they were going to use paper plates for all meals.
He cut himself in front of her in our apartment while I was sleeping as a twisted act of manipulation, she was freaked out but she's pretty good at seeing the best in everyone and quite naive so they moved in together not long after.
I ended up telling her I couldn't emotionally support her if she just kept complaining because it wasn't helping her but I would have her back if she left. He kept telling her he would kill himself. She was 18 he was 30 when it began, after two years she finally left him.
I had an ex pull this s**t on me when I broke it off. She threatened to kill herself. The thing is, I absolutely despise manipulation and I asked her if she wants to jump in front of a train or should I get a rope for her, so she can hang herself. Of course, I knew she is trying to manipulate me, and she got very pissed off when she saw her b******t does not work. The likes of her and what the OP described, never pull the trigger, on themselves that is. They are Manipulative, Narcissistic Pieces of s**t!
She became a completely different person around her friends and did nothing to stop them when they started talking s**t about her boyfriend. While he was in the same room as them.
That sounds like her true nature coming out. I hope he listened while she was telling him who she is.
His handshake. I feel like a dead fish is usually an exaggeration, but now I see why it's called that. I wiped my hand on my pants afterward.
For real, a bad handshake feels awful! I've always been proud of the fact that older guys have told me I have a "nice, firm handshake"...of course half the time it's followed by "for a woman" 🙄 But I guess I've got to take the wins where I can 😅
When he had to ask her permission to come hang out with us, his best friends. He's 21 years old.
Ehh, this one I think is more just common courtesy to your SO. I ask my husband if he minds if I go out/do something and I prefer that he also check in with me, as well. I'd never say "no" but I do want to be able to plan accordingly and know what he'll be doing.
When she told me she doesn't wear the same outfit twice. EVER.
She said she could see the future and she just *knew* that I was going to be a serial killer.
When he asked me, in front of my best friend, his gf, why I wore a one piece because you have a nice figure and shouldn't cover it....he also smacked her kid for something. She married him and move away and they have another kid.
My roommate's ex boyfriend had a (new) Dodge Challenger. I had never met anyone with a Challenger who wasn't a gigantic douche. I still haven't.
Just touching bases. I've yet to meet a challenger owner who wasn't a douche either.
nothing as major as other replies here. but she would, and probably still does, taste the cat food to "make sure it's alright for the cat". My brother told me about that, so I've never talked to her about it, since I dont want to confront a weirdo like that on that subject.
she also had to house sit for literally a day and a half while everyone was gone. I had cleaned up everything before leaving, but left the kitchen table full of the mail, all organized, since I didnt expect her to use the table at all. in that day and a half she cleaned up everything again and rearranged all of the vases, flowers etc in the living room and we had to look for the mail with all the bills..
she would also be fine with other people drinking saying "they're grown ups, they can do what they want" yet my brother was not allowed to drink..
He got her hooked on drugs, stole her rent money to buy drugs for himself, and beat her almost daily. I dunno, he seemed a bit off.
Probably gonna get buried, but she told my roommate and I my coworker tried to force himself on her. We got pissed and almost confronted him until a mutual friend told me they were sleeping together... Roommate didn't believe me and it turned into a huge f*****g mess...
I hate half my friends SO's so this is perfect !
One of my friends girlfriends would hit on me thru instagram and Snapchat constantly, she ended up cheating on my friend three or more times. They ended up breaking up, dating new people, then leaving those people for each other. Shortly after they got back together my friend's dad passed away unexpectedly. Weeks later her girlfriend f*****g ends up breaking up with her THE DAY OF HER DAD'S FUNERAL! Who does that???
Another friend was in an LDR and their gf would force them to drop anything and everything they were doing to Skype with them, if they didn't a huge tantrum would ensue, they ended up breaking up and the gf threatened suicide as well as sending graphic images of her slit wrists to my friend. It's been 6 or 7 years and like four girlfriends later and this girl still hits them up claiming they're the love of their life.
The most recent one, my friend has been with this guy for four years, I've always been kind of neutral about him like we don't have many shared interests and his personality is very.. mild I guess? But I've always tolerated him. So about a year ago I find out that he has created an okcupid AND a tinder and is talking to girls that his girlfriend was friends with in the past. I end up being the one that has to show her the screenshots, she is understandably very upset and ends up calling him and this dude is so f*****g blasé about it like he was acting like he forgot to pick up milk at the store instead of literally trying to cheat with two separate people. The whole time his excuses are "I was lonely" and "I just wanted to make friends!" but I don't buy it for a second like.. there are plenty of non-dating apps for that. So anyway they end up breaking up shortly after that but he ends up """getting kicked out of his house"""" by his grandparents (which I also think was either exaggerated or just complete b******t) and Rachel being the angel she is offered up her place. They now live in a new apartment together and like.. I'm happy my friend is happy but I do NOT trust her boyfriend I think he's a stupid man child 🤷🏻♀️
Quite a few of my friend's girlfriends hit on me and have wanted to hook up while they are still together. I would always refuse and would invite my buddy out to go have a drink and tell him but they turn it down and start acting weird/sketchy. We will stop talk and I lose a friend. Wonder if the girlfriends are going back home or to their boyfriend/my buddy and telling him something to make them act different towards me.
It was a little weird at first given she was a reg. High school Girl and my friend was a birdperson. My suspicions were justified later at their wedding when she revealed she was an undercover agent of the galactic federation.
I found out he doesn't like Halloween.
Yet another post blocked on Android. Wish BP would update the app so it actually works.
My daughter is going through this right now w her friends boyfriend. He's never done anything outright yet but he's said some things to her that have raised some red flags. Her boyfriend doesn't think much of it but his other friend agrees w my daughter bc he said he noticed he's weird around my daughter sometimes too. He makes sure he's a buffer between them now when they're all doing things together. She doesn't know what to say to her friend bc it's nothing that she can really do or say yet
Had a co-worker a number of years back, not particularly close but enough that when I moved jobs she still invited me to a party for her birthday later in the year (I think she was in her mid 20s). She always had wanted coworkers to meet her boyfriend, finally got a change at a mutual coworkers birthday. Guy was super charming, really friendly, big Texan guy, ex-marine, really generous, offered to lend me one of his consoles and games. Nice guy. The SECOND my wife and I left the party, we're walking down the drive to the car, I said "That guy creeps me the f**k out - he's a sociopath". Didn't really talk about it much after. Few weeks later came close to her birthday. Texted about when it was, texted again, called and left a message. Her mum calls me back, explains that the boyfriend beat the hell out of her, throttled her unconscious and put her in hospital. Helped her move under police supervision. Placard of his on the wall of the apartment"USMC the proud the few". Piece of s**t.
Yet another post blocked on Android. Wish BP would update the app so it actually works.
My daughter is going through this right now w her friends boyfriend. He's never done anything outright yet but he's said some things to her that have raised some red flags. Her boyfriend doesn't think much of it but his other friend agrees w my daughter bc he said he noticed he's weird around my daughter sometimes too. He makes sure he's a buffer between them now when they're all doing things together. She doesn't know what to say to her friend bc it's nothing that she can really do or say yet
Had a co-worker a number of years back, not particularly close but enough that when I moved jobs she still invited me to a party for her birthday later in the year (I think she was in her mid 20s). She always had wanted coworkers to meet her boyfriend, finally got a change at a mutual coworkers birthday. Guy was super charming, really friendly, big Texan guy, ex-marine, really generous, offered to lend me one of his consoles and games. Nice guy. The SECOND my wife and I left the party, we're walking down the drive to the car, I said "That guy creeps me the f**k out - he's a sociopath". Didn't really talk about it much after. Few weeks later came close to her birthday. Texted about when it was, texted again, called and left a message. Her mum calls me back, explains that the boyfriend beat the hell out of her, throttled her unconscious and put her in hospital. Helped her move under police supervision. Placard of his on the wall of the apartment"USMC the proud the few". Piece of s**t.
