Mom groups can be wonderful. Their members share in-the-field experiences and valuable insights, and don't mind having entire conversations with newbies on how to get a fussy baby back to sleep or how to potty train a toddler.
But the good stuff is often surrounded by the bad. Every now and then, there's a post judging vaccines or a comment suggesting Ethanol as a boy's name. In fact, such content is so frequent, it even gave rise to a subreddit making fun of it.
It's called '[Stuff] Mom Groups Say' and vigilant Bored Panda readers may remember it from our earlier article but here's part 2 for those who can't get enough of it. That includes us!
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Unintelligent, Uneducated...
Talya Stone, a former editor-in-chief turned parenting blogger and the woman behind Motherhood: The Real Deal and 40 Now What told Bored Panda that online mom groups are definitely hit or miss. "A lot of them can be a hotbed for toxicity and riling each other up," she said.
"I think with all social media platforms and forums it's about taking everything with a pinch of salt and not getting sucked in too deep. Some, however, can be great for advice when you have a specific query."
Stone suggests treating mom groups like buying a house: "Go and visit the neighbourhood (group) and get a sense of if you like it. Evaluate if you honestly like the energy and vibe, see what kind of conversations are happening there and if you like it — great! If not, move on to the next neighbourhood and find one you feel more comfortable with."
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At the end of the day, Stone believes that nothing can replace a face-to-face connection and that goes for moms too. "The pandemic has made this really difficult but now is the time to start rebuilding," she said.
"Strike up a conversation at the school gate, park, or coffee shop. We have become so scared of real-life interactions but we need to move on and start forming those connections again — online things can quickly become very distorted."
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Vicki Broadbent, a writer, director, broadcaster, and founder of the parenting blog Honest Mum, told Bored Panda that "mom groups, be it Whatsapp groups with the nursery/schools moms or via social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram can provide critical support for parents."
"I remember the support, friendship, and camaraderie I garnered from Twitter when I had my first child, Oliver, and how that allowed me to connect with like-minded parents easily and usually during unsociable hours when I was nursing in the night too. It was amazing."
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She also reminded that sometimes we simply aren't able to get together in person. "The pandemic has highlighted how important online support can be for parents where face-to-face access has been limited. You can find all sorts of parenting groups on Facebook for all kinds of needs (from breastfeeding groups to fitness, those with specific medical conditions, and more) so I'd recommend searching there, and joining some, feeling your way through different ones in a bid to find your tribe!" Broadbent said, adding that you can also check out some apps whose job is to connect you to nearby parents in your area for online and real-life meet-ups that can be of huge help as well.
"There's no need to feel alone," the mom said.
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Gatekeeping
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Now What
Why not? I put cereal in my kids' bottles kept them fuller for longer. They slept through the night. Let me be clear, by saying baby cereal not like fruit loops.
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Coming from someone who had all her babies C-Sections kindly go f**k yourself! Had I went through this ages ago we would've died. I can't stand people that say that.
If you have a child, adopted, fostered, whatever, you are more of a mother than this woman could ever be. I suspect her real honest to god children are also unvaxxed. Maybe unschooled too.
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How can people be so horrible? Probably she also thinks that infertile or sterilised women are not real women.
Well, I do tell my children that my situation is kind of the only time when a woman can say maybe she's not really their mother, since I did IVF. I tease them, maybe they put someone else's eggs in me. We can joke this way, because they're the spitting image of me, and we all have rather dark senses of humor.
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This is just stupid. Women who need/want C sections is no less of a mother than a woman who gave birth vaginally. I'm so grateful that I could have my kids naturally and not because it makes me a "real" mum. But because the healing time is less, the stress on the body is less and is far less riskier. A c section is not an "easy" way out, especially since its not easy AT ALL.
Amen. The recovery sucks, and if you have more than one it gets worse every time. 0/10 would recommend (unless being made to medically of course lol)
Load More Replies... Bitch please. I labored with my daughter for nearly 24 hours before having an emergency c section after pushing failed due to her shoulder being stuck. It's still a birth - one that saved two lives due to erratic heartbeats and blood pressures.
Yep, Shannon. Been there too. Although if I could have known that's how it was going to turn out, I would have opted to have the c-section sooner, and done less labor. I did not enjoy it.
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Soooo It's about HOW you have a baby that makes you a "real" mum?. What are you if you adopt a child? An Aunty?
Care and nurture are apparently secondary concerns to her?
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My wife went through a C-section and this breaks her heart, when mindless morons post about "real moms", being a read mother is giving your kid the best life they could have, doesn't matter how the child enters the world. People who believe the post above are scum!!!!
Pls tellyour wife that she has grown a whole human in her own body and that makes her a mother, end of story! Also, wishing your family all the bests!!!!
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A women who nurtures cares and loves people. And that could be anyone.
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I had a c-section after 21 hours of labor, so screw you, lady. You think it's hard to handle a newborn? Imagine doing so after major abdominal surgery.
Try two at once after a c-section. (Not trying to one up you, just commiserate) So, I have to agree. You're a little sore there. 😁
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What's up with the whole "real mum" lunacy? I don't think it's hit the UK yet.
Both of my children and I would have died if I didn't have 2 emergency c sections. F@CK this person!!!
I was a C-Section baby, and I turned out just fi- wait, hold on, that was a bad example.
That’s like saying I don’t exist. I was a c- section because me head was up instead of down like it’s supposed to be and I would have gotten stuck and died if My mom hadn’t had a surgery.
I had one natural birth and one C-section. I can tell everyone, that giving birth was much better for my recovery. Who on earth are all those people to judge?
3 CSections in and a forced Labour… The forced Labour ended up with my som having special needs … yeah go fk yourself
REALLY! Just because you give birth don't make you a real mom either. That comes from caring and loving your child. Otherwise you are just an egg donor.
Soooooo does that mean I’m an orphan then? (Came into the world by way of C-section)
Remove the text and the pic is beautiful. I love the baby pic, but c-section users ARE real mothers.
My mom had four kids, all by c-section. I will bitch slap anyone who tries to tell her that the three painful procedures she endured to give birth to us “don’t count”.
I was a c-section and I love my mom. Oh wait, I can’t call her that anymore. (Sarcasm intended)
Oh so yall would rather the mom and the baby were dead? Lets kill these people instead of all the innocent ones-
So having your guts sliced open doesn't make you a real mom? What a fool.
Both my kids were emergency c-sections. They might've died without the intervention. What a sh*tty thing to gatekeep over.
I've heard this s**t before, those babies born by section were still born, the mother just didn't "give birth", we still had babies, so all of this can just bugger off! We're still mothers to every child that entered this world from our bodies, whether they needed help to do it or not!
My college educated children would intelligently disagree and debate you on this statement. They were all C-section babies I carried in my body for 9 months and went through the pain and dangerous surgery to save their lives. And my husband is still my husband after 40 years in part bc my vagina was never ripped apart and stretched out by natural child birth. It's OK to be jealous of me.
Vaginal, surgical, adoption, we are all mothers. So we just imagine that we have a child to care for and live if it isnt ejaculated via the vagina..?
I hate people who say this. If my mom hasn’t gotten a C-Section, I would have DIED. Smh.
What the f**k. I went through hours and hours of intense labor, only to find that the umbilical cord was wrapped around my daughters neck and we were losing her fast. The doctor cut me from my belly button all the way down to the top of my vagina. I had staples and my stomach looked like it had a zipper. It was a horrible surgery and an all around horrible experience. What's supposed to be a very special time is taken away from you. The second time wasn't any better. Hours and hours of labor AGAIN, only to find that this baby was stuck on my bladder. So, once again the same surgery, cutting on the same scar. Excruciating. I dare the bitch who wrote this post to try to go through what we have and come out on the other side.
Oh, so those mums that had to have a c section for health reasons are just faking it? It's better to have a natural birth & possibly die in the process! Wtaf?!
I didn't realize there were a group of assholes who actually believed this.
Oh my gosh. Bitch please 🤬 so I'm only a real mom to one of my six children? I could kick this person's ass from here to kingdom come.
what's all the weird stuff about who's a 'real mom'? people will fight about anything!
Considering I was in labor for 12 hours before it was deemed to need an emergency c section, and then not even drugged properly since they were scrambling and I felt EVERYTHING; from them cutting me open, to rifling around and getting the baby before I was FINALLY knocked out, I say you can go screw your traumatic “ring of fire”
My mom tried to give natural birth to me and ended up with an emergency c-section. She had a c-section for my sister too. Both of us would have died without one. This lady is nuts.
Those are probably the same people who say that gay marriage makes hetero marriage less valuable...
I believe this kind of gatekeeping is the outcome of those women's voices not being heard before. Giving birth can be a traumatic event and I believe this toxic behaviour is their way of dealing with the trauma by glorifying it and seeing it as what they have to be in order to be accepted in their place in society ...
I had 3 naturally, and 1 by c section, (to dangerous to give birth naturally). Still a REAL mum to all 4.
So would she rather her own daughter and grandchild die instead of a C-section?
So do we say that a vaginal birth is just the body expelling a tumor naturally?
So...my daughter Oxygen levels fell. I had a C-section. I'm not a mom? I would only be a mom if I waited and pushed out a dead baby?
I feel sorry for these mentally ill people with strong dillusional opinions. They truly believe what they are spouting, its tragic , and I strongly recommend they check into a mental facility urgently and hopefully they can be fixed. Scary scary times we are in.
If you have a 'natural birth' but your partner wasn't outside smoking and walking up& down, it's not the full experience and doesn't count, either?
If you didn't have your baby alone in a barn, you're not a real mom. Actually, no: If you are using the internet you'Re not a real mom. Good grief, just go into the woods and die.
Sorry to all the people out there who don’t have real moms. Living their whole lives with an imposter mom, in a house of cards built upon LIES!
Well, I had an emergency c-section at the end of 24 hours of giving birth. Had the whole experience from the first contraction to having 10 centimetres, only not having my son come out the "naturally" way. People like this should be slapt in their face with a chair. You carry that child for months so either way you are a mom. And a c-section isn't an easy way.
This really f*****g hurts. My son and I would be dead right now if I hadn't had a c-section. He was transverse. And now I also have PTSD from the trauma of a near death experience. I can't even, this post makes me sick.
That's ok, I've heard I'm not a real veteran because I'm a woman. To find out I'm not a real mom either...
People who say this are stupid. A c section is a surgery, so it is harder on the body. Women who have c sections are just as much of a mother as women who deliver naturally.
If I didn't have a emergency C section my twins and myself would be dead.. you're an absolute idiot
I was a c-section baby, f**k you very much! How you give birth or how you become a mother doesn't make you more or less of one. It's attitude.
So if her baby had died bc she had it naturally even though they needed it out quicker, would she still be a real mother? Or would you say that since she didn't have a child for real she isn't a mother?
Wait so me and all my siblings are c section babies because of complications with birth so if my mother, the woman who has raised me and cared for me and my brothers our whole lives isn't real, then who is our so called "real" mother? Or are we not real children either? This makes me so angry.
Ooo. Ooo My Turn. If you didn't give birth out on the savanna surrounded by wildlife that was waiting to eat you and your new baby, you aren't a real Mom.
My mom had two c sections. What is she if she is not my mom? She carried me and raised me
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I hope the baby will inherit its look from its father and not intelligence from you.
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Note: this post originally had 74 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Brain & soul both ache after reading this nonsense. A better argument for reversible sterilization until after passing a mental competency test I've rarely found. Just... wow.
I couldn’t make it all the way through. To think that people like this exist is enough for me to wish that natural selection would hurry the f*ck up..
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You have this cute baby animal post that melts your heart and then you get this post that melts your brain! Thanks BP for the mixed feelings!
I read the baby animal post before this one. I really should have read it after. I need something to wash my brain out.
Load More Replies... I can't fathom how some of this is even legal. Where does the line for child abuse begin? Intent can't be it. I know it's a slippery slope, but these moms are starting their kids off at a severe disadvantage.
Many of the threads on this list fall into the: "I'll bullshit /lie or make something up / Go against the norm" in order to post it to social media, to gain responses, both positive and negative in order to feel relevant, validated or special! Or some people are unbelievably stupid!
Dayum I'm facepalming so hard through this I think my neighbors called the cops. How, in the name of everything holy, are these people still alive, nevermind procreating?
Am I the only one that had to stop reading these at a point? I honestly have never encountered anyone this stupid in my life. Although, that's probably a good thing, but certainly cut down on some entertainment.
Just want to put this out there, (good) chiropractors are actually real doctors. They’re just not hospital doctors. If they have the education, then they are actually doctors. Chiropractors are kind of like physical therapists, only instead of recovering form an injury they help with everyday muscle and joint pain. Like if you have a sore back from sitting wrong, going to a good chiropractor is actually very helpful. What they can’t help with is things like broken bones, infections, any major injuries. Turned your hip wrong from a fall and now it’s sore, yes. Broke your hip from a fall, no. Good chiropractors are NOT pseudoscience. I don’t know about the ones mentioned in this thread, but chiropractics is a real, valid medical field. Well, maybe subfield, but still.
Kid gets contraception at puberty. Stays on it until they a)find a committed partner who b) wants a baby with them. Only after they c) both take and pass a course on pregnancy and parenting do they d)get a license that allows removal of contraception and they can have a kid. In a better world than this one.
Brain & soul both ache after reading this nonsense. A better argument for reversible sterilization until after passing a mental competency test I've rarely found. Just... wow.
I couldn’t make it all the way through. To think that people like this exist is enough for me to wish that natural selection would hurry the f*ck up..
Load More Replies... You have this cute baby animal post that melts your heart and then you get this post that melts your brain! Thanks BP for the mixed feelings!
I read the baby animal post before this one. I really should have read it after. I need something to wash my brain out.
Load More Replies... I can't fathom how some of this is even legal. Where does the line for child abuse begin? Intent can't be it. I know it's a slippery slope, but these moms are starting their kids off at a severe disadvantage.
Many of the threads on this list fall into the: "I'll bullshit /lie or make something up / Go against the norm" in order to post it to social media, to gain responses, both positive and negative in order to feel relevant, validated or special! Or some people are unbelievably stupid!
Dayum I'm facepalming so hard through this I think my neighbors called the cops. How, in the name of everything holy, are these people still alive, nevermind procreating?
Am I the only one that had to stop reading these at a point? I honestly have never encountered anyone this stupid in my life. Although, that's probably a good thing, but certainly cut down on some entertainment.
Just want to put this out there, (good) chiropractors are actually real doctors. They’re just not hospital doctors. If they have the education, then they are actually doctors. Chiropractors are kind of like physical therapists, only instead of recovering form an injury they help with everyday muscle and joint pain. Like if you have a sore back from sitting wrong, going to a good chiropractor is actually very helpful. What they can’t help with is things like broken bones, infections, any major injuries. Turned your hip wrong from a fall and now it’s sore, yes. Broke your hip from a fall, no. Good chiropractors are NOT pseudoscience. I don’t know about the ones mentioned in this thread, but chiropractics is a real, valid medical field. Well, maybe subfield, but still.
Kid gets contraception at puberty. Stays on it until they a)find a committed partner who b) wants a baby with them. Only after they c) both take and pass a course on pregnancy and parenting do they d)get a license that allows removal of contraception and they can have a kid. In a better world than this one.
