This Bridesmaid Went Viral On TikTok For Sharing All Of The Ridiculous Expenses She Had To Pay To Be In A Wedding
Being asked to be part of a wedding can be super exciting. One of your closest friends is preparing to spend the rest of their life with someone they love, and you get to be part of the celebration. The only problem with agreeing to be in a wedding party is that it can turn into a massive financial burden. Obvious expenses include the dress or suit needed for the ceremony and whatever travel is required to attend the wedding, but bachelor and bachelorette parties can cost a pretty penny as well.
One bridesmaid, a woman named Erin, recently went viral on TikTok after detailing the expenses she was responsible for to attend a “bachelorette vacation”. Below, you can read Erin’s full story and see how viewers have responded. Let us know in the comments how you feel about the situation and if you’ve ever been asked to spend an exorbitant amount of money on a friend’s wedding. Then if you’re looking for more bridesmaid content, check out this Bored Panda piece next.
After she was asked to pay hundreds for a “bachelorette vacation”, this bridesmaid turned to TikTok to discuss how costly being in a wedding can be
Image credits: moneytomiles
Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: erinconfortini
While the trip was already expensive, the maid of honor even asked the bridesmaids to pay for the bride’s flight and portion of the accommodation
Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Erin wondered if this is the norm when it comes to bridesmaid expenses
Image credits: erinconfortini
Image credits: moneytomiles
While this bachelorette vacation may be more expensive than the average party, it’s not uncommon for bridesmaids to be saddled with bills for luxurious weekend trips, expensive dresses and bridal showers. According to Wedding Wire, the average cost of a bridesmaid dress in the United States is $208, and that’s without any alterations. But the dress is only the beginning. Bridesmaids tend to spend around $1,200 on weddings after travel, accommodation, accessories, gifts and more are factored in.
Traditionally, bridesmaids are responsible for their attire, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, their hair and makeup for the ceremony, travel and accommodation for the wedding, and gifts for the wedding and bridal shower. When it comes to the bachelorette party, Brides.com says that “going away for the weekend poses a little more gray area [than one night out]”. “Each attendee should cover the cost of her own travel and accommodations—including the bride.” The general rule of thumb is that the bride pays for everything except “the big night out”, where she is treated to dinner, drinks and whatever else is on the agenda. Sometimes the entire bachelorette party involves no travel and is only the “big night”, but when it’s longer, bridesmaids should not be expected to pay for everything. So you might be wondering if being in a wedding party is even worth it when it can become such a big financial burden? Well, for most bridesmaids it is. Wedding Wire found that 95% of bridesmaids had an enjoyable experience and found the costs worth it to be a part of a loved one’s special day.
While it’s an honor to be part of a friend’s wedding day, it’s important to keep in mind what your budget can handle. We all want to support soon-to-be brides and grooms as much as we can, but sometimes a lavish vacation is just not feasible. Be sure expectations are discussed before agreeing to join a wedding party. Erin’s TikTok received thousands of comments discussing what is appropriate to ask of bridesmaids, but we’d love to hear your thoughts below as well. How much do you think is reasonable for the bridal party to cover in situations like this?
Many viewers agreed that these fees are excessive, saying that the bride could have paid for more
While not everyone is on the same page about who should pay for what, it’s clear that communication is crucial when it comes to wedding expenses
How did bachelor parties go from one night out with the boys/girls to one week vacation, sometimes even abroad? 🤔🤔🤔
What the hell. I'm sorry but I think so many weddings, bachelorette/bachelor parties and bridal showers are just getting ridiculous. And what's worse is expecting the bridal party to cough up the money. I even think asking the bridal party to pay for their own dresses/outfits is rude. The ONLY thing I asked my bridesmaids to pay for is their own lunch (approx $25) at a pub for my bachelorette lunch. I paid for everything else, oh except my maid of honours hair, but that was her choice. I only wanted my bridal party to straighten their hair, which could have been done herself. I paid for the outfits, shoes, make up etc.
Same here! I have no idea when expecting the bridal party to pay for everything started, but I'm definitely against it. Everything the bride wants should be paid for by the bride. Especially these "Bachelorette Trips" when everyone involved has to give up their vacation time, etc.
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Um, NO. Bride wants a fancy thing and wants everyone there? BRIDE PAYS FOR IT. Done. End of story. Asking other to pay for you is NOT OK!
I don't want to put the blame on this particular bride though like she paid her share and then the MoH decided to butt in and change the game on everyone. The MoH telling the other girl to send the bride her money back and have the other girls cover her seems pushy and out of line since clearly they hadn't discussed it in previous plans. The bride should have stepped up and said she was fine paying for herself though as it was a trip for all of them and expenses add up quickly.
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Thank god this isn't a thing in my country! I would absolutely refuse to pay that much money to celebrate a *stupid* Bachelorette party.. they're so overrated and just for show off.
For my bachelorette party we went to the Efteling theme park and dinner :D. My friends paid for me and I had such a great day! But that's doable I think...
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I don’t understand why she just says no in the group in front the other 9 other girls. Each one pays for their own stuff it is just a wedding…. If she can’t talk about the uncomfortable things like money in front of her group of friends she has to reconsider some of her life choices….
Bride and groom (and parents if they're willing and capable) should finance their own wedding and all expenses. And scale their expectations to their budget. And everyone else should help out by setting firm boundaries and saying, "no." There would be far fewer problems if everything was scaled back in budget, expectations, and entitlement. And liquor.
Aaaaaand this is why I always decline when friends ask me to be a part of their weddings. I did it ONCE and it was the biggest headache financially, physically, and emotionally. Did so much running around and I wasn't the one even getting married.
All this bride-y nonsense smacks of desperation. How many people do you need to celebrate you how many times before you bankrupt everyone to try and fill whatever emptiness consumes you. It's so gross and pathetic. You don't need an elaborate wedding, you need a full-time therapist. Get over yourselves. Truly. I can't imagine how someone is able to delude herself into believing anyone gives this much of a sh about a single event in her life. Graduate from somewhere, adopt something, then throw yourself a party. Y'know, for a cause worthwhile that other people actually care about.
I don't get it. I have been in several weddings and I have said no to a few because the expenses and expectations were more than I had to give. I don't get what happened to the bachelorette party being a night out on the town with a few friends, dinner and dancing. When did it become week long vacations and everyone pays for the bride? When my brother got married recently, the bridal party went for a spa day followed by dinner and dancing. We all chipped in for the bride's massage, dinner, and drinks at the club. I would not have taken a one week vacation for her. I don't get where this sense of entitlement came from.
Brides budget out for the wedding. Maid of honor should be budgeting out for the bridesmaids. Which in turn should be consulted with the bride or wedding planner. And an itemized list should be given to the bridesmaids to see if they can afford trips, gifts, expenses, etc. if it was a close sister like friend I would still have to budget like it was for a family member. Lots of these girls try to "keep up with the jones" and go one above the previous wedding of a friend they were in. More trips and more gifts and price tags more higher. Simple is always better. A weekend in a hotel room away from the men in the state you live is more than acceptable. Even at the person with the larger home (if they agreed to hosting) would be fun. Trips aren't just the flight and hotel. They have food and activities and nightlife and clothing etc to consider for expenses. Ladies please bring it back down to earth.
Just wondering, is she still friends with the bride after knocking her on TikTok? Yes, she deserves to be knocked, but, doing this in public is probably not the best idea.
Taking it public could be for any of the following reasons: the bridesmaid wants attention and validation outside her circle; she's seeing a trend that's causing financial stress and would like it to stop; she wants to get back at the bride. She may be willing to risk the friendship or she may be naive. It's her second time being a bridesmaid and she's certainly taken aback at the money she's had to spend.
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300 for the dress and alterations, 400 for food, 600 for the first hotel. 300 wedding night, 2 rooms since she invited my parents. 200 for hair. Lord. And she hates me now, money well spent.
To some, including myself, yes it's normal. Actually often times it cost much much more, for example decorations for brunch post bachelorette itself could start from $600. You can't put a price on the happiness of your friend, bride to be. If you were really good friends and genuinely care about each other. But keep in mind in my/out tradition, bride and groom pay for everything else, including bridesmaids dress, make-up and hair, shoes, etc.
Pay for yourself only, if the maid of honour thinks the bride doesn't have to pay then she can pay for her. Not you
Brides have traditionally enjoyed a week-ling trip to a vacation destination. It's nothing new. But it's after the wedding and with the groom. It's called a honeymoon. Look into it, bridezillas.
II had a friend who asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, I thanked her for the thought, but I didn't want to be in the wedding party. She turned into Bridezilla. She was so angry and shocked, she screamed, "How can you be so selfish about the most important day of my life?" She uninvited me and ended our friendship.
$300 each for a shower…where is it and what are you getting in return! No way! Id be having a talk with all the other bridesmaids and then the maid of honour! This is all way too much expenditure…after all, it’s not your wedding! These costs should not be your responsibility!
That would be a very short friendship. My response would have been "no, have a nice wedding." I find it absolutely disgusting that they expected all the brides to put out for this ridiculous bachelorette party. It should have been held in her own city or town and that's it. Only the very rich can afford this kind of "play date." Certainly not me.
HUH? Umm, NOPE! Frack that. No members of the bridal or groom party should pay for anything other than their own expenses. Also, WHEN does the bride or groom get to decide what kind of premarital party they get? That's ridiculous. You get whatever your friends decide to give you and nothing more. It is NOT your decision. When I got married the first time, my friends actually asked if I wanted a bachelor party and I said no. They got pissed off! That's when I realized this marital party cr*p was about them and not me! Sorry, but I won't be your excuse to get drunk and stupid.
I refuse to be in anymore weddings without being told exactly what I'm paying for and an estimate of how much that will cost. I had a friend who promised to be affordable then kept tacking stuff on. Im a single mom and my son was still a baby when she got married.... $400 dress plus $80 floral belt add-on (and a trip to Chicago to bridesmaid dress shop and get measured at some fancy boutique), $120 shoes I never wore again (after she said we could pick our own shoes they just had to be black and not shiny she then decided on these wedge heels we all had to get). 2 bridal showers - one in another city that I had to pay a sitter for the entire day to attend because no kids were allowed. A bachelorette party that was supposed to be an old school sleepover but then grew into this expensive weekend getaway that cost several hundred dollars. Then her 'gift' to her bridesmaids was paying for our hair, nails and makeup for the wedding...which she got to dictate every last detail of
I don't get the relation between $300 and a "shower", I mean I've paid something like USD$10 or $20 at an airport to have a shower before a (long) flight, so guess it's something else like a special spa or something?
I think she means the bridal shower. Which is like a baby shower but for a bride.
Load More Replies... How did bachelor parties go from one night out with the boys/girls to one week vacation, sometimes even abroad? 🤔🤔🤔
What the hell. I'm sorry but I think so many weddings, bachelorette/bachelor parties and bridal showers are just getting ridiculous. And what's worse is expecting the bridal party to cough up the money. I even think asking the bridal party to pay for their own dresses/outfits is rude. The ONLY thing I asked my bridesmaids to pay for is their own lunch (approx $25) at a pub for my bachelorette lunch. I paid for everything else, oh except my maid of honours hair, but that was her choice. I only wanted my bridal party to straighten their hair, which could have been done herself. I paid for the outfits, shoes, make up etc.
Same here! I have no idea when expecting the bridal party to pay for everything started, but I'm definitely against it. Everything the bride wants should be paid for by the bride. Especially these "Bachelorette Trips" when everyone involved has to give up their vacation time, etc.
Load More Replies... Um, NO. Bride wants a fancy thing and wants everyone there? BRIDE PAYS FOR IT. Done. End of story. Asking other to pay for you is NOT OK!
I don't want to put the blame on this particular bride though like she paid her share and then the MoH decided to butt in and change the game on everyone. The MoH telling the other girl to send the bride her money back and have the other girls cover her seems pushy and out of line since clearly they hadn't discussed it in previous plans. The bride should have stepped up and said she was fine paying for herself though as it was a trip for all of them and expenses add up quickly.
Load More Replies... Thank god this isn't a thing in my country! I would absolutely refuse to pay that much money to celebrate a *stupid* Bachelorette party.. they're so overrated and just for show off.
For my bachelorette party we went to the Efteling theme park and dinner :D. My friends paid for me and I had such a great day! But that's doable I think...
Load More Replies... I don’t understand why she just says no in the group in front the other 9 other girls. Each one pays for their own stuff it is just a wedding…. If she can’t talk about the uncomfortable things like money in front of her group of friends she has to reconsider some of her life choices….
Bride and groom (and parents if they're willing and capable) should finance their own wedding and all expenses. And scale their expectations to their budget. And everyone else should help out by setting firm boundaries and saying, "no." There would be far fewer problems if everything was scaled back in budget, expectations, and entitlement. And liquor.
Aaaaaand this is why I always decline when friends ask me to be a part of their weddings. I did it ONCE and it was the biggest headache financially, physically, and emotionally. Did so much running around and I wasn't the one even getting married.
All this bride-y nonsense smacks of desperation. How many people do you need to celebrate you how many times before you bankrupt everyone to try and fill whatever emptiness consumes you. It's so gross and pathetic. You don't need an elaborate wedding, you need a full-time therapist. Get over yourselves. Truly. I can't imagine how someone is able to delude herself into believing anyone gives this much of a sh about a single event in her life. Graduate from somewhere, adopt something, then throw yourself a party. Y'know, for a cause worthwhile that other people actually care about.
I don't get it. I have been in several weddings and I have said no to a few because the expenses and expectations were more than I had to give. I don't get what happened to the bachelorette party being a night out on the town with a few friends, dinner and dancing. When did it become week long vacations and everyone pays for the bride? When my brother got married recently, the bridal party went for a spa day followed by dinner and dancing. We all chipped in for the bride's massage, dinner, and drinks at the club. I would not have taken a one week vacation for her. I don't get where this sense of entitlement came from.
Brides budget out for the wedding. Maid of honor should be budgeting out for the bridesmaids. Which in turn should be consulted with the bride or wedding planner. And an itemized list should be given to the bridesmaids to see if they can afford trips, gifts, expenses, etc. if it was a close sister like friend I would still have to budget like it was for a family member. Lots of these girls try to "keep up with the jones" and go one above the previous wedding of a friend they were in. More trips and more gifts and price tags more higher. Simple is always better. A weekend in a hotel room away from the men in the state you live is more than acceptable. Even at the person with the larger home (if they agreed to hosting) would be fun. Trips aren't just the flight and hotel. They have food and activities and nightlife and clothing etc to consider for expenses. Ladies please bring it back down to earth.
Just wondering, is she still friends with the bride after knocking her on TikTok? Yes, she deserves to be knocked, but, doing this in public is probably not the best idea.
Taking it public could be for any of the following reasons: the bridesmaid wants attention and validation outside her circle; she's seeing a trend that's causing financial stress and would like it to stop; she wants to get back at the bride. She may be willing to risk the friendship or she may be naive. It's her second time being a bridesmaid and she's certainly taken aback at the money she's had to spend.
Load More Replies... 300 for the dress and alterations, 400 for food, 600 for the first hotel. 300 wedding night, 2 rooms since she invited my parents. 200 for hair. Lord. And she hates me now, money well spent.
To some, including myself, yes it's normal. Actually often times it cost much much more, for example decorations for brunch post bachelorette itself could start from $600. You can't put a price on the happiness of your friend, bride to be. If you were really good friends and genuinely care about each other. But keep in mind in my/out tradition, bride and groom pay for everything else, including bridesmaids dress, make-up and hair, shoes, etc.
Pay for yourself only, if the maid of honour thinks the bride doesn't have to pay then she can pay for her. Not you
Brides have traditionally enjoyed a week-ling trip to a vacation destination. It's nothing new. But it's after the wedding and with the groom. It's called a honeymoon. Look into it, bridezillas.
II had a friend who asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, I thanked her for the thought, but I didn't want to be in the wedding party. She turned into Bridezilla. She was so angry and shocked, she screamed, "How can you be so selfish about the most important day of my life?" She uninvited me and ended our friendship.
$300 each for a shower…where is it and what are you getting in return! No way! Id be having a talk with all the other bridesmaids and then the maid of honour! This is all way too much expenditure…after all, it’s not your wedding! These costs should not be your responsibility!
That would be a very short friendship. My response would have been "no, have a nice wedding." I find it absolutely disgusting that they expected all the brides to put out for this ridiculous bachelorette party. It should have been held in her own city or town and that's it. Only the very rich can afford this kind of "play date." Certainly not me.
HUH? Umm, NOPE! Frack that. No members of the bridal or groom party should pay for anything other than their own expenses. Also, WHEN does the bride or groom get to decide what kind of premarital party they get? That's ridiculous. You get whatever your friends decide to give you and nothing more. It is NOT your decision. When I got married the first time, my friends actually asked if I wanted a bachelor party and I said no. They got pissed off! That's when I realized this marital party cr*p was about them and not me! Sorry, but I won't be your excuse to get drunk and stupid.
I refuse to be in anymore weddings without being told exactly what I'm paying for and an estimate of how much that will cost. I had a friend who promised to be affordable then kept tacking stuff on. Im a single mom and my son was still a baby when she got married.... $400 dress plus $80 floral belt add-on (and a trip to Chicago to bridesmaid dress shop and get measured at some fancy boutique), $120 shoes I never wore again (after she said we could pick our own shoes they just had to be black and not shiny she then decided on these wedge heels we all had to get). 2 bridal showers - one in another city that I had to pay a sitter for the entire day to attend because no kids were allowed. A bachelorette party that was supposed to be an old school sleepover but then grew into this expensive weekend getaway that cost several hundred dollars. Then her 'gift' to her bridesmaids was paying for our hair, nails and makeup for the wedding...which she got to dictate every last detail of
I don't get the relation between $300 and a "shower", I mean I've paid something like USD$10 or $20 at an airport to have a shower before a (long) flight, so guess it's something else like a special spa or something?
I think she means the bridal shower. Which is like a baby shower but for a bride.
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